Anyone else feeling exhausted!? This month is nearly over and I can’t tell you how tired I am, I’ve not been able to really sleep properly for the past few days, I just started getting a little bit of sleep, not fully, but somewhat! I don’t know if it’s just me that’s been feeling that way though….all I know is I’m ready for a nice chill break! Last week….let’s not talk about it actually….weekend kind of similar, but it was fine! We’ve arrived half way through this week with it being Wednesday and we’re on the last few days of October with Halloween being this Sunday talk about crazy yeah!?

We’re coming to November next week, hard to believe, but it’s true! I want to say that I’m looking forward to the arrival of November, I mean I am, but I’m also just very nervous about it….I have this trip planned for next week and I just don’t know how to feel about it, really….I want to be excited about it, but I don’t know if I should approach it with caution or if I should just embrace it regardless to how I’ve been feeling lately!? November is usually one of my favorite months during the fall season, it’s the first time I’m not sure how to feel about it…..although I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it before either to be honest!?

I never really understood why that is!? Why it’s one my favorites is what I mean….I’ve just always been drawn to it, like if I had to pick a new month to switch my birthday on, it would be November! Now I’m not saying I don’t like May….I’m glad that I was born during the Spring time, May is actually one of my favorite months and no it has nothing to do with that fact that I was born during that month, I just always liked May, plus I always felt it made for a nice name!

I’m just saying there’s just something about November that I’ve always liked, I guess cause it’s one of the Autumn months and Autumn is my second favorite season, Spring being my main favorite, again nothing to do with my birthday! There’s so much to this season….fall is the season of change, sometimes good and sometimes not always…..but still we have no choice, but to just allow it even when we may not want to allow it….I mean you can’t change a season, the only way the weather can change is if it changes itself! Sounds similar to how us humans change huh!? Some times it comes naturally while other days it may be a little forced!

One thing I’ve learned though is how important change is, we all know change is inevitable, there are things that happen that we may not want to happen and it can leave us confused, as well as unsure about a lot of things! One minute things are good and one minute you feel it shift and you don’t know how to feel about it when that does happen, what I’m saying is Change is frustrating ha! I used to strongly dislike change, but later down the line, I started to be okay with it, because I knew that it was needed in order to grow and be who you felt yourself transforming into, sometimes it hard though and you don’t always know the ways you’re changing, you just know that things are different with it!

You feel different, the way you used to see things are different and you tend to notice that what once was….is no longer the same, at least what it used to be anyway and not a lot of people like that, nor can they handle it…..but as much as you may want it to be, not everything is going to be in our control! You have to let people do what they feel they need to do, you have to allow them to grow and figure out what it is they want for themselves, not what you want it to be! Not a lot of people get that though….but it’s very important that we do get that and understand it as well….

It may leave us not feeling the greatest, but when you deeply care and love someone, all you truly want is just for them to be happy and so it takes a lot of courage and maturity to say “Hey if this is what you want, I support you” You always want people to be the best they can be for themselves even if they stumble a bit, it all comes down to just letting them know that you’re always going to be there, no matter what their choices are or the mistakes they make along the way, that regardless you’re going to love them anyway! We’re always so quick to assume or judge and although it’s not how we may want it to go, it’s how life is in reality and that’s coming from someone that continues to learn that….but that has nothing to do with November, it’s just what I’ve been feeling this season to, well feel like!

I have hopes for November though and faith, I need something to hold on to and those two things have always been with me since I was old enough to remember, I’m just hoping for something good to come from and I’m hoping that thing to be what I truly believe in and have always believed in….

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa