Purpose….

They say we all have a purpose, but what if that purpose isn’t anything specific, say that purpose is just more on what we make of something or what we want to do with ourselves. Whenever we’re told “Your here for a purpose” it can make you feel as though your supposed to do something great, something BIG and that kind of thing can feel pretty stressful.

I mean what is this purpose we need to do and are we even doing it right!? These kind of questions can make you feel unsure of a lot of things, with the word purpose, when you look at it and say it, it seems important, it can make you feel as though you have to carry the world on your shoulder and be this unstoppable force to be reckon with, even though those are just sayings and are a metaphor, it still feels like a huge thing to do.

You think to yourself “Why do we see it as this wondrous thing and why do we care and try to live up to it?” When it comes to the word “Purpose” it’s intimidating to have to try and step up to something you have no clue to what it’s about or it’s true concept, the saying “we’re meant to be here”

Is also pretty intimidating, it pretty much goes hand in hand with the word purpose, both have this feeling of importance, like something is expected to where you have to follow some kind of mystery road and or path, yet it’s an unclear clue to what and where it actually is.

That all being said, I know that there are some things that have a specific purpose, some are useful and some useless and when I say useless, I mean it more on the side of not quite what you expected it to be, take some toys for example, some are very educational and quite useful and really fun, but then you have some toys that only do one thing and can end up being a little underwhelming/anticlimactic and not as fun, although you probably know not to get your hopes up with it, you kinda sorta do anyway.

You always kind of feel like it’s going to surprise you and do something extraordinary for some reason and when it doesn’t (as expected) it leaves you feeling pretty bummed out, but you knew it would do that, but it’s that hope that it might do something else, even though you know it’s not going to because it’s meant to be a one thing kind of toy, but you’re left there sighing to yourself, thinking “I guess I knew that’d happen” but on the other hand sometimes you’ll come across a toy, you think is a one purpose thing, but end up learning that sometimes it’ll have other useful uses to it, leaving you both mind blown and full of joy, which you gotta love, who knew right!?

Going back on track though and talking more life base of what we’re supposed to be doing and that, that kind of purpose can throw you for a loop and leave your head going in circles or wandering for days on end, making you think, if there is some kind of purpose and we are meant to be here, why do we have a hard time knowing what it is and what to do?

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Look At Those Eyes….

Song Of The Day: Look At Those Eyes By Alexz Johnson (this is one of my favorite songs from of course one of my favorite artists Alexz Johnson, love her!! The title of this post as you can see was inspired by it!!)

They say when you look into the eyes of someone, not only do you see the window to their soul, but you also get to really see their true emotions and how their actually feeling. We always try and hide the way we feel and that’s because we try not to let people know that were struggling, it’s odd though, we’re fine with showing off the happy parts of our lives and of ourselves, but when it comes to the parts we think no ones going to want to see, we hide it and try to lock it away so we’re not asked questions.

Once we find ourselves on the low side of town, we automatically feel as though we have to discard it and put up this front and pretend that everything is okay and that we’re fine…..that we don’t have any issues and were happy, but when you really get a good look, you see that’s not the truth, that’s why we tend to avoid people, because not only are we afraid that we’re going to ruin people’s moods with our own,

but we know that if people spend even the smallest amount of time with us and catch even a glimpse into our eyes…..they will know the truth and see all the emotions and struggles we tried so desperately to keep hidden away and having people see that, makes us want to crawl away somewhere and you may ask why, it’s because we’re ashamed and embarrassed to have to let those things show, the thought of a million questions and worrying…..

It’s for that reason we avoid, it’s for that reason, we think staying to ourselves is much better than being around people, at least when we’re alone we don’t have to worry about feeling uncomfortable with ourselves, because we’ve gotten so used to the feeling. If we’re around people when we aren’t feeling our best it’s like we have to pretend again, we have to go on stage and play this part that we really aren’t familiar with, but we make sure to sell the hell out of it as best as we can, sometimes it works…..

Other times not as much, that’s only because when you have people around you that know you, it’s hard to fool them, unless your acting skills are on a high that day….but everything you need or want to know are in the way of a persons eyes, some are lost, sad, angry…..

Then you have some that are full of light and are actually fine, other times though, when you’re looking into someones eyes you’ll find that they just don’t know what to do and are just trying to get things right someway, even though they have no clue what they’re doing.

P.S. This was a journal entry I wrote a few weeks ago, I felt this to be appropriate to share today, if you have any thoughts share it down below!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

The Talk….

No not that kind of talk if your wondering, it’s more serious, although that kind of talk is serious too….we’re not going to talk about that here though. Hearing the words “we need to talk” or “I need to talk to you” is one of the few words that makes my stomach sink, I mean let’s be real,

No one like those words, it always leads to a conversation you don’t want to hear majority of the time, yet have to face sometimes. It’s just one of those talks you’d rather avoid than talk about, but it’s the only way to talk about things that need talking about, avoiding it only makes the prolong of it worst and more serious and you end up feeling terrible because you knew the conversation needed to be brought up, but refused to approach it,

because of the thought of what that talk might turn into….a lot of the time it might not be all that bad, but it doesn’t mean the thought of it isn’t…..assumptions aren’t the best way to go though, you don’t really know what you’re going to be talking about, until you’re actually talking about it, whether it is “The Talk” or not, you should still talk.

Which talk approach is your worst nightmare!? “We need to talk”, “I need to talk to you” or “can I talk to you!?” share your thoughts below

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Writing Prompt: Write About Yourself

Objective: Describe yourself, surroundings, frame of mind and emotional state, but try and write it in a third person point of you (he/she not I or me)

She wakes up to a repeated routine, washing dishes, making coffee with toast and then sits on her bed in the center of the room. She grabs a few journals from her bookcase, adds a little background noise and tries her best to look busy when deciding on what she can write about in a journal.

Her mind soon starts wandering, thinking on how she should be more productive then this. Feelings of guilt and stress come over her, making the situation look like a good place to sulk and and sit in self-pity, she tries to come up with solutions that could help her to move forward, but she lets herself think of outcomes to trying, letting in the Anxiety and giving her an excuse to not go fourth with it, knowing full well it wasn’t a good one.

She asks herself questions, that she already has the answers to, asking people for advice and tips, hoping that this time she’ll finally put them into actions herself, without the need of guidance. She locks herself away and forces herself to stay where she is, even though she knows it’s not where she wants to be, she glances outside her window, watching everyone’s life inattentive of her own, as she sees it as better. Deep in thought,

She wonders how it got so bad, but only she would know the true answer to that, it was her that held back, allowing herself to fall behind when all she had to do was try harder, she allowed her head to get the best of her in moving forward, underestimating herself and believing she wasn’t good enough. If only she would allow herself to be confident and trust in the abilities that she possesses, instead of questioning and second guessing herself, things would change and be a little better, she just can’t bring herself to believe she has it in her to do so, why you might ask!?

Fear, it’s fear that keeps her hidden, it’s the thought of being judged and feeling as if she won’t fit in wherever she goes, that she’ll feel too out of place. It’s the worry that whatever she does, won’t be good enough, those fears have always been there, but it’s not until now that they’ve started slowly coming to the surface, not fitting in never really bothered her before, but now it ends up in the back of her mind at times, those fears need to go if she wants to get anywhere and even she herself knows it’s time to move.

P.S. I hope I did this whole writing prompt right, I found this creative writing prompt website last night, okay I searched for it more like, I was curious and wanted to see what kind of prompts there were so I could try my hand at it, there were quite a few, I might try out another one, this one was fun, it actually made writing a little less intimidating….

If you would like to give it a try as well, the link is here: Creative Writing Prompts there’s other prompts on there as well if you prefer to do a different one, it’s good writing practice, at least that’s what I think prompts are for, I don’t really do them all that often ha. Hope you enjoy!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

2 Weeks Away, Almost 3….

How’s everyone doing these days, hope well!! Now I know what some of you are probably thinking, “Where have you been!?” and if you aren’t thinking that well then, that’s okay, but I will sorta explain why I haven’t written anything new for the past 2 to almost 3 weeks, I think the longest i’ve went not posting is about a few days maybe a week, this times a new record, we surpassed a week of not posting, can we get an hurrah!?

No i’m kidding, I haven’t posted on here for a reason, you see i’ve been away due to my brain thinking a lot mainly on where i’m going or want to go at least……there’s a lot of things that I haven’t really expressed on here, I might do that one day, not sure when exactly, but one day……

I still haven’t gained that much courage to do so just yet. Now even though I haven’t written and posted anything new on my blog in a good while, I have been still writing, just more handwriting then typing, i’m actually close to filling one of my journals, not quite finished, but it’s getting there i’d say.

So yeah, i’ve been trying to really think on what I want to do (career wise) this isn’t anything new really, it’s something that i’ve been switching back and forth with for a good while now, i’ve just been putting it off for a good amount of time and you know what that’s no one else’s fault but mine, you think you’re fine with something, but then realize you’re not.

So yeah there’s that for one……i’ve also been trying to get better at certain things…..still sorta working on that……i’m kinda feeling a bit of stress and pressure and that’s me doing that to myself because I really want to get somewhere and feel good about it, I mean we all do don’t we!?

There’s a lot let’s just say, but i’m doing my best to work it all out so I could move forward from where i’ve always been stood, if that makes sense!?

I must say this has got to be the most i’ve written in a while on here, which is surprising for some reason, because normally I write a lot, in my journals at least, i’m not sure how often i’ll be posting on here, I kinda purposely stepped away from here just so I can get my head straight and that, plus i’ve been wanting to make this blog better and i’m not sure in what way I want to do that, maybe it’ll be more personal or something, i’m not sure yet.

Hopefully it’ll all just happen naturally, but yeah that’s just a bit of an update I guess you can say, I don’t know what else to say, I hope you’re all doing well and having a good day sorry it’s taken me a few weeks to write, I kinda felt as though I didn’t have much to say so I didn’t, I have missed it though I won’t say I didn’t, i’m always on here believe it or not haha……

That’s all I have for now, but I will post something again soon, maybe not this week or maybe, who know, I might surprise you and post something one of these days or during the weekend, i’ll go based on if I feel I want to say something or how i’m feeling, right now it’s just how things are going,

But you guys enjoy the rest of your day or night depending on what time of day it is where you are and i’ll write to you guys again soon.

P.S. Since we’re coming to the closing days of Summer I thought i’d share something I made a while ago, I was meant to post it, but never did…..

All The Love ❤ < 3

~Lexa~

Pre Prepping For Post Writing Or Anything Really…. (Aug 6, 2019)

Pre writing and prepping before the initial due date or when you plan to have something done, may actually help get something done on the time, you hope to get it done…….thinking about what to write about, I started trying to plan a writing schedule for my posts, this is something i’ve been thinking about for a while now, but I could never come up with one that quite fit so I never bothered sticking to one……

However I think I figured it out this time, there are certain topics that I have wanted to have a specific “post day” for, posts in the Now Playing….category where I talk about certain artists and discuss their new music and my thought on it, even going and talking about the artists themselves, sometimes it won’t even be about an artist and their new music, but just sharing some of my favorite songs and everything,

While hopefully maybe giving you guys some recommendations for new music to listen to in the process….i’m sure you get what I mean though….

It’s those kind of posts that I keep wanting to set specific days for, i’m not really sure why, I have this thing where when I think of music, I think of the weekend (no not the singer) the actual weekend, although you can listen to it on any day of the week really, you don’t have to specify it,

but when I think of music and the feeling of it, it gives off a relaxing chill down time kind of mode or mood (whichever you prefer) it’s exciting and inviting and it lets you just wind down and enjoy yourself for the moment.

Just like when you get that weekend feeling, you know!? I’ve been trying to set it up that way for a while, but with the way I write it never works out quite that way……but I think I have it lined up this time, I think pre writing it and scheduling it to when I want it to be posted might just help with that…

It’ll also keep the stress of thinking I have to hurry and get this done down, when it gets close to the day, by that time, it’ll already be up which means I won’t have to worry…..when it comes to my other posts those should come naturally, but let’s see how prepping and pre writing a post works out……

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Butterfly Wing (Aug 2, 2019)

Disclaimer: As you can see, I wrote this post 3 days ago, it’s just a small story on a butterfly wing that I came across, I thought it was interesting and wanted to share it, however I didn’t post it, but i’m going to post it today, I hope you enjoy half of the pre writing to it, plus some added things as well.

Happy August 2nd Everyone!! Can’t believe we’re already on our last Summer month, soon all the leaves will change colors, we’ll start going back to wearing sweaters with it getting a little colder and we’ll be in the season of Fall (a.k.a Autumn, also known as the Autumn Solstice……I know I could’ve just stuck with fall, but I just wanted to add them all for some reason)

Okay so I don’t really have all that much to talk about, although I did come across something interesting while on a walk coming back from the store, that interesting thing so happen to be a butterfly wing……yep, you read that right, just a butterfly wing, singular, no butterfly attached……..it was weird, i’ve never seen just half of a wing from a butterfly before……..

I was tempted to pick it up when I saw it, I didn’t, I ended up just leaving it be, should’ve taken a photo of it though, I could’ve shared it with you had I gotten a picture of it, but the thought of taken a photo didn’t come to mind until I got home and left it for a bit, it was weird, but also cool.

I also tried looking it up to see if there was a meaning to seeing one (don’t ask why, I just tend to look up things when i’m curious on something or something interest me, heck i’ll be honest, I look up pretty much anything…..well not anything, anything, most things, we all do it)

The search for the meaning of seeing a butterfly wing didn’t really come up to anything, it was more on coming across a butterfly, nothing on just the wing itself……I really should’ve taken a photo, but hey who knows it might still be there or may not (well seeing as it’s the 5th already, I don’t think it’d still be there, although i’d be very surprise if I saw that it was)

but hey at least I got to see one up close for the first time, butterflies I know are seen as good luck, as well as other things so maybe seeing the wing isn’t bad, i’m not sure…..if you’re wondering what kind of butterfly it was (you’re probably not, most likely) but i’m going to tell anyway, because…..why not!?

It was a Monarch Butterfly, they’re lovely they are, all butterflies are, except for moths I don’t like them, not.at.all…..I do have a photo of a Monarch that I took a long while ago, last year to be exact……it’s not the greatest photo, but I could share it if you like!!! I probably could’ve focused on it better, I used my phone to take the photo and that was as good as I was going to get…….

I also drew a butterfly although the pattern on the wings are a bit different to how normal butterflies look, but hey all butterflies are different right!? A little creativity doesn’t hurt anyone….looking at it now though, i’m not really sure why I did this pattern, I tried to draw a butterfly with the actual patterns on it, but it wasn’t working so I ended up just improvising.

Update: So those are the photos, couldn’t transfer them through my phone onto my computer for some reason, so I had to send them to my email….

With my butterfly sketch, I only outlined it with a gel pen, i’m debating on whether to color it in or not, I kinda like it the way it is, hence why there’s still pencil shading, it might not be the best pencil shading, but shading is there….i’m still trying to figure out whether I should give it color or not,

If you you’d like to see color to it just let me know and if you have color suggestions feel free to add them down in the comments, because I have no idea what colors to use if I do decide on coloring it in.

Hope you’re all doing alright and having a good day!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~