Levels Of Growth

Maaan has it been a while since my last post, it’s not yet been a month, but it’s been a while! Honestly I’ve wanting to write something for the longest, yet nothing ever sparked my interest enough to say “yeah this might be a good thing to talk about” We’re already in the middle of April and each day that came by I would just say to myself, I haven’t written not one thing this month and maybe that’s alright, but to me I just felt like What is going on there!? Today however, I feel a little bit inspired to write so I shall take whatever this inspiration is and do my best to just go with it! It feels good to write something that I can share after a long while….

Now before we continue on, I just want to say that I have been writing this month, I just haven’t written anything to share, my writing have been more personal based these days, I guess that’s just where I’m at currently, which I know isn’t a bad thing, but still I have been wanting to share something and I guess that’s where this post comes in! As you can see I’ve titled this post levels of growth, why exactly? That’s a good question, let’s just say it was something that felt right to title here…..growth is a significant thing that we all experience in our lifetime constantly, be it a small growth or a really big way of transforming…sometimes we can see it pretty clear and sometimes we don’t always know when the next transformation will be….we can sense it and feel it coming, but we don’t always know, but that’s the beauty of it yeah!?

Life has many ways of challenging you, as well putting you in a postition of what you feel to be the best way to grow and trive, but it doesn’t mean that it’s entirely easy…..it can be as simple as choosing your favorite game to play or what kind of snack you’re in the mood for, I know pretty weird seeing it that way, but what I mean by that is life is that simple most times, it’s just other things that can make it seem difficult! When you look at the word Growth on it’s own, it makes you feel something doesn’t it? You know it’s got an importantance to it, yet the word looks simple, it doesn’t really look all that intimidating when you’re just reading the word….but the feel and experience that comes with it can be quite frightening when you’re looking at it more deeply.

It’s like when admiring a flower, you wouldn’t think they’re able to harm you, but look at roses, although they’re very beautiful to look at, you got to be careful when picking them, because they hold thorns….if you look at cacti you know not to touch them because you can see all the little needles it’s got, but even with knowing that people like to have them as plants and then there’s the Aloe plant although it’s got healing abilities, it too has it’s own thorns/needles, if you really think about though, the Aloe plant kind of has an accidental proneness connected to it, I say that beacause even when it hurts you, it’s character speaks loud without actually talking and it let’s you know “Oh i’m sorry, didn’t mean to hurt you, here let me help you”

I know this is probably getting off track, I was trying to make a point where I explain how just like some flowers have a bit a gray area, so does growth, I don’t know if I tied it in nicely enough, but hopefully it makes some kind sense! Anyway back to what I was saying….we all experience growth differently and sometimes it can be hard to embrace different levels of it, due to the fact that it can require a lot of braveness, courage and strength to help unlock that next transformation that we’re needing and majority of the time, however you feel yourself growing and changing, it’s not always going to be ideal for others, even those who are close to you….

You see for some, even when you are putting it out there how much you’ve progressed and evolved, sometimes it doesn’t get taken seriously and it can get very frustrating, because although your doing your best to show and let people know who you are and who you kind of always been deep down…..it can feel like they’re not really seeing you the way you’re wanting them to and are still sorta treating you the same, even when you know you’ve grown from that point. There’s going to come a moment where you know that, even though you may not want to, you’re going to have to do something so out of character where they have no choice, but to notice and really get them to see and think to themeselves “this is not the same person that I know”

After the reactions, you will probably most definitely feel a bit of a shift following that experience and to be honest there’s probably going to be some hurt involved and that’s going to probably hurt you, but with growth, you have to be strong and brave, you have to hold that courage inside otherwise what was it for!? If you want people to start seeing YOU and taking you more seriously…..you can’t be afraid to push back! Now even if you happen to leave someone hurt….don’t see it as an automatic negative experience, growth comes in many forms and although we all like life to be smooth sailing…..it’s not always going to be like that, there will be moments where you have to choose the road that involves a bit more…..deep breathing to get through and you will have to make a choice!

We always hear, take the road less traveled and I’m starting to realize and understand that, the road less traveled gives you the most experiences and how you choose to travel through it really comes down to what you feel inside and what your inner compass/heart is leading you toward….so if you feel you want to go a specific way, but you have people telling you to do it a certain way, you have to go with your own feelings, because at the end of the day….it’s your journey, we all share life, but we all have our way of living it, so if you feel strongly about something and you want to do it…..do it…..even if it requires you to go into the unknown of it and it may upset people, we shouldn’t have to feel like we can’t do something because it’ll make someone upset!

Sometimes we can get caught up in what others are saying, that we forget we have our own voice too and we don’t have to always go by what they say, if they can’t support you in the journey you choose for yourself then you have to know that it’s not on you to make them understand, cause they’re either going to understand by you be honest and letting them know right away or by you saying I’m going to do it anyway whether you like it or not and who knows maybe you’ll get the combination which can be more challenging and if you do get them both, it just shows you got more edge to you and your a badass kind of person!

Whatever is in your heart to do, please don’t hold yourself back, growth is scary, yes, but it’s also necessary for you to grow into the person you feel yourself to be….so with all that said, I shall leave you all with a quote, one of my favorites actually ^_^

“Don’t Hold Back, For Anyone…..The Further You Go, The Prouder I’ll Be”

Ming-Turning Red

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

You Can’t Hide From Yourself….

Let’s just get it off our chest, we’re uncomfortable…..we don’t like it and we want it to stop, buut it’s not going to is it!? As humans we always think we can escape our own uncomfortability, but the one person that you’re unable to get away from is yourself so what exactly are you doing!? You want to know why I’m uncomfortable!? Well, I’ll try to explain it in a way that, hopefully doesn’t reveal to many personal details, but to keep a long story short….I’m uncomfortable with the fact that, when I’m thinking about something that I know I want to do I will take FOREVER just to decide on it, even when I know I want to do it….

However, one thing about me that I know is my least favorite trait to my personality is…..I’m always siking myself out of things or I overthink it too much to where I already know it frustrates those around me, they don’t have to say it to me because I can feel it and by knowing that, it’ll brings me more stress and frustration because you know the reason you feel like that is due to the fact that you’re afraid to let people down, which wait for it…..adds MORE stress because you’re also fighting with yourself thinking “Why are you worrying about everyone else!?”

Asking yourself that question then just makes you want to scream because although you know why you worry, part of you just wish you didn’t worry or care so much about these things…..and all of that starts mixing together because you could never put you, nor your needs and wants first, leaving you to feel a little upset with yourself, where you’re just like “You always worry about other people and how they’re going to feel” although there’s nothing wrong with caring about others and wanting to make sure they’re going to be okay….

You as person also have to know when it’s time to say “I love you, but no” and be okay with choosing to honor yourself and the things you want to go after! That being said, we also have to live and embrace the uncomfortability of it all!! No matter what we do, we will always be uncomfortable, there’s no way of escaping it, we live to experience, we live to discover and to be amazed along with all the other emotions and feelings we go through within our journey here!

We have to be uncomfortable in order to know what we’re comfortable with, once that’s discovered, we then find and learn what our comfortablities are and how to embrace them along with the uncomfortable! It’s not something we have to necessarily like feeling, but it is something we have to accept whether we want to or not! We have to be okay with the shadow parts of ourselves…..if you really think about it, we’re practically yin and yang inside, we all have the light part of us and the dark part, if we are always leaning towards the light and pushing the dark away, we’re not really giving ourselves the chance to truly experience who we are all the way around…..which isn’t fair!

Just because something is dark doesn’t mean that there isn’t any goodness to it! I may have said this before already, but we all know how diamonds are formed, they go through a lot of pressure before turning into something beautiful!! Amethyst forms from volcantic lava and pearls can be found within oysters, before stones become stones they have to go through some kind of dark experience themselves before we get to see the true beauty of them…..it’s never easy when you feel like every wall is caving in on you or where things are just not going well whatsoever, BUT it’s important to be aware that, all of it is necessary and instead of seeing it as a negative experience automatically, we have to understand that, it happens because we’re evolving and we need it in order for our growth to thrive and for us to continue to be the best versions of ourselves that we already are wheher we see it or not!

We can’t have the good without the bad, even if we prefer it better, the more we try to resist the uncomfortable the more worst and uncomfortable it’s going to get, so allow it, accept it and be okay with it, you don’t have to love it, but honestly who loves being uncomfortable!? Allow the transformation that you’re going to be experiencing to unfold and happen and be amazed at what you see!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Changes and Transformations….

Good Morning, hope that you all have been well these days! We’re now a week into the month of March for many out there, a lot has probably happened already be it big or something small that you’ve been also looking forward too and for others March might still feel like you’re just getting started and that’s perfectly okay! We all have a specific pace that we start with, things could be going really fast and quick for a lot of you, while for some March could be catching you by surprise where things start feeling a bit unexpected, in a sense where, you may find yourself more busy then usual or in other ways where you may not normally be used to if that makes sense!?

Yesterday I found myself deep in thought about a lot of things, I was out for most of the day so it was a bit productive, however I wasn’t really in a talkive mood, I mean don’t get me wrong I did speak a bit, but I wasn’t in my usual talkive state that I normally am….a lot of the time when that happens, it’s because I just have a lot on my mind and it gets to the point where I don’t really want to talk…..in those moments talking for me becomes a bit of chore to deal with so I like to say as little as I can if I’m able to! I started to become a bit more chatty during the evening though, but it still took me a while!

I guess it’s just my way of processing my own thoughts and dealing with them in some way, I normally try and distract myself when I start getting really into my own mind, but I also know when I need to allow my thoughts to be what it is they are and not push them aside, by doing that it’s only going to come at you harder so you want to make sure that your being considerate with yourself in those times of deep thinking…..yesterday I had a thought to myself regarding my surroundings, but involving how everything’s changed!

All the places that I once knew and saw growing up, most of them are all different now, building that, were once there are no longer around and if they are, they’ve changed so much to where you don’t really recongize them, it’s kind of like seeing a time lapse of what you used to know recontructed right before your eyes, but you’re seeing the transformation of what it was then, to what it is now and seeing that, seeing all the places that you’ve grown up with change and look completely new to what you used to see, it really hits you just how much things really transform an old shop that you may have gone to a lot when you were a kid, is either no longer there or isn’t quite the same as you once remembered it!

It’s a mind blowing experience because even though you know it’s different, there something in you that feels like you still need a bit of time to process it fully, yet you never really get the chance to, due to the fact that it’s already changed and transformed so much that you don’t get much room to feel it entirely the way you want. It’s the same with people, although they have certain things with them that stayed the same, you already know that they too have transformed and are a lot different to what you remember them to be, but be it so,

There’s always that part of you that hopes that the relationship that you had with them and the bond that you once shared didn’t change and a lot of the time you find it did, but you do get those one of kind moments where even though you and that person have grown and seen things in a more….I guess you can say mature perspective to how you used to see things….even though all that’s happened, you find that it’s easy for you to just come back together as if nothings changed at all and just pick up where you left off….with those moments though it can feel a bit nervewracking and scary, it’s like meeting someone that you already know for the first time all over again….and it’s not something you would normally think to get nervous about, but you do because you know it’s different!!

You start feeling like you have to prepare yourself again and get ready for it, it’s like a new journey and adventure that you know, but don’t know at the same time so you’re kind of just hoping for the best and for things to turn out okay, it’ll sometimes even leave you wondering if they still feel the same about you even if you know they do, you still can’t help, but have those thoughts in mind that, now that doesn’t neccasarily mean it’s a bad thing, it’s just curious wonders! That being said, you won’t really know unless you put yourself out there to feel those things and be okay with feeling them, I like to think they’re normal, it just simply shows how much you really truly and deeply care as well as how much that person still means to you!!

Fear or no fear, changes and transforamtions will always happen, even if you don’t really get the chance to take it in the way you want or you find you aren’t able to really prepare, it’s okay….I guess the best way to look at it is to just give it a go anyway when it involves a new experience, but if it involves a change that you have no control of, like seeing a place you once knew when you were younger in a whole new way, you kind of just have to adapt the best way you can with it, keep those memories close to you always and whatever connection you made with it…..just know that it will always be with you, never be afraid of changes and don’t be afraid of transforming the way you feel you are wanting to, it’s all part of living life so try not to hold yourself back from experiencing all that you want to experience at the end of the day you gotta do what makes you happy!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Let’s Talk: Happy Home Paradise Along With Some Deep Unresolved Feelings I Guess….

Welp, we’ve arrived at a new month, Happy 1st of March everyone!! Hope you guys are feeling alright and that you’re doing okay….March already is starting to feel like it’s going to take a bit before people start getting comfortable with it, but it’s important that we do our best to try to get through it even if it feels a little hard to do at the moment…..anyway Happy Tuesday, can you believe Spring is almost here, because I can’t, I’ve got two more months left until my birthday (also the word birthday didn’t look like it was even a word for some reason) and I don’t even know how to feel about it…..but that’s not for another two months so I don’t have to really worry about it just yet so it’s all alright!

If I were to be honest to how I’m feeling today….I’d tell you that I don’t know because I honestly don’t know, I’m aware I’ve got a few things in my mind at the moment, but the start of March has kind of put me in a interesting we’ll say headspace, I feel okay, but I also feel a bit overwhelmed, but I’m going to try and take it down a bit and focus my thoughts onto something else and do my best to keep my nerves together somehow someway…..funny it’s about 12:30pm in the time of writing this and you’d think that it’d not be so bad, but today is surely taking it’s sweet time to the point where you feel it….it’s like you want it to hurry up, but you’re also saying to yourself “It just started why am I trying to already rush it!?” I guess it’s just one of those days….

Moving on to the topic of this post, because we’re in the month of March and we’re coming to the anniversary of it in a few weeks, I thought we’d talk some Animal Crossing, because well…..I already had it in mind to talk about so…..I feel why not!? The fact that we’re nearing Spring and we’re coming into two years that this game made it’s debut is insane…..everyone in the Animal Crossing world didn’t even think we’d get a new Animal Crossing series game until Nintendo decided to announce it unexpectedly blowing everyone’s minds when the trailer of New Horizons dropped!

I’ve been a fan of this series, for as long as I could remember and so just the realization that we’ll be coming to two years of Animal Crossing: New Horizons…..is just amazing!! Now I may not have started my island the day the game released, like how most people did, but you don’t have to start a game the moment it comes out to enjoy it, as long as you’re enjoying it, when you actually start it doesn’t really matter, you play when you feel it to be right! Now that that’s been said, we’re not actually here to talk about New Horizons exactly, but the second installment of Happy Home Designer that was only playable on the 3DS, Happy Home Paradise!!

I’ve actually been meaning to discuss, HHP for quite a while now, but I just didn’t feel it to be the right moment then, I’m not even sure if now is the right moment, but I wanted to talk about it so, I’m going to take it as it being an okay time to do so! Now I’ve actually played the first installment to HHP, Happy Home Designer and to give some thoughts about, I also felt Happy Home Designer to be okay, it wasn’t something that I neccasarily was in love with, but it wasn’t something I didn’t not like at the same time, if that makes sense!?

It was an okay game to keep it simple, I used to only play it every so often and then after a while, I just never picked it up from there, plus I wasn’t really into the whole Designing homes…..until I started playing New Horizons where it was more encouraged to do so, with decorating being more apart of the new series fully, so when the last big update happened back in November and we were told all the things we’d be getting…..Happy Home Paradise was not something I personally expected to be apart of that big update, until it was shown in the Animal Crossing Direct!

A lot of what we got in that Direct was not to be expected, there was so much that, you found yourself having to really take it in, I wasn’t actually sure if I even wanted to get Happy Home Paradise at first, with the knowledge of how much I barely even played the first game HHD, so I waited a while before actually deciding I wanted to give it a try and honestly I preferred Happy Home Paradise over Happy Home Designer, I guess it was because there was more to it and it allowed you to be more creative and step out of your comfort, especially if you’re someone that isn’t all for designing, it allowed you expand on something you already had knowledge of and just see what you can do with it!!

Me telling myself and thinking you know what “I want to see what this game has to offer and what’s different about it, so let me download it, it doesn’t hurt to give it a try” by taking that chance and seeing where it went and what the creators did with it….it gave me an experience that I didn’t even expect and honestly it was very exciting and nerve wracking….I say nerve wracking for the simple fact of….I wasn’t confident in my decorating abilities, I barely know what to do with my own home in my Animal Crossing game so, I honestly wasn’t sure how I was going to do designing a villgers home……

and before it’s even said, yes I am aware that it’s just a game so I shouldn’t really being feeling anxious of making a home look nice in it, but Animal Crossing is my life, I love this game with every part of soul and body and luckily you can’t actually see me, because if you did you would see how hard I’m trying to hold back my emotions, yes I know weirdo here, but honestly that’s how much this game means to me…..also you don’t know it, but you will now…..I’m getting annoyed with myself because of how emotional talking about it is making me, it is what it is and I shouldn’t be ashamed of it, not that I am!

Anyway you’ve heard me speak about this game loads of times so those who look forward to reading my posts will know how much I love this game!! I never knew you could feel so much for something that isn’t even real first off haha, but you still are constantly drawn to it……Animal Crossing has always been a game that I could turn to whenever I felt I couldn’t be who I felt inside to be, it’s hard to explain, but…..it’s my home away from home….no matter what is going on….even if I did take time away from it, I knew that it was always going to be there to welcome be back……as most of you know…..I don’t do words right most times…..so it really does take a lot in me to finally get what I want to say out, even in real life!

It’s something I actually worry about a lot, whether what I’m saying is coming across well or if it’s even being undersood and even though I’ve improved a lot better in communciating my feelings and that….it’s still hard for me, so I always do my best to take my time when I need to express something, for most people a post like this might only take them an hour or maybe less, but for me….it’ll probably take 3 hours or so, I can write less, but when I feel I need to really say things that’s when it’s more!

To get back on track though….this game has helped me through so much to where I can’t even explain it to you, so that’s why I will always talk about it, because it was the first game that I got into that allowed me to be myself and not have to worry, it gave me something to experience, it is a weird game, but it’s a weird game that I love and I will continue to speak about until I can’t speak about it anymore….but back to Happy Home Paradise…I love it, do I play it all the time, no, not really, but when I do push myself to head on over to the Happy Home Paradise island, I always enjoy myself and leaves me inspired without knowing I was inspired!!

I’ve made some interesting homes, some were great in my eyes and some I know still needs work, like I actually need to speak to some of the villgers whos homes I’ve decorated to change it, but I only play it when I’m either really wanting to because it’s been a while or when I’m feeling inspired, I barely go on that island, but that’s also because I’m too worried about my own island and what I want to do with it, right now inspiration is not quite up there, but whatever burst of inspiration I have, I go with it when I’m feeling it in the moment and it’s kind of been like that in real life too if I’m being honest, it’s not something I like to admit, but it’s the truth which is why I don’t post much everyday…..

This series Animal Crossing, anything I was afraid of…..it helped me to not be afraid of it, but it also help give me a voice, it was my company when I didn’t have much company and I like to see it as my good luck charm, it’s the one thing I’m always talking about and you know what it’s okay because it means that I’m really passionate about it! It was the one game that I never thought I’d ever understand even though it honestly is quite simple, yet at the same time it was something I always felt I needed to play, like it was a calling of some sort!!

I just love this game as well as Happy Home Paradise, the series as a whole, brings me so much joy even when I can’t see it sometimes, because real life is kicking in, but I always feel grounded with it and that’s what I appreciate about it!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

February Is On It’s Way Out and Soon We’ll be Marching Into Spring!!

Happy Weekend Everyone!! Hope you’re having a very good Friday, I can’t believe that we’re pretty much done with the month of February…..it seems like it only just started and now it’s about to set on it’s journey to wherever all the months that finish up go!! It’s been a while since I’ve really spoken about how each month has been….I like to think that it’s had it’s ups and downs, but I guess that’s just something that always sorta happens, some days are better than most, while others have that inbetween thing going on.

It’s been quite the month February and although it’s not neccsarily done, it also practically is come Monday and then we’re into the month of March….which is nuts to think about, but then again, February isn’t really that long of a month anyway so, this one doesn’t feel like it went by all that quick, because it’s already a quick month anyway, with it only having 28 days to it……that being said it doesn’t mean there weren’t some hard moments with it, there’s still a lot going on and I feel like it’s going to be like that for a bit.

This year two different vibes to it, there’s apart of you that feels like you have to do it now, whatever you feel that to be for you and then there the other part of it where it’s like…..you can’t really put your finger on it, but it’s important to know….like I said this year just has the inbetween feeling and you’re having to make some big decisions and take action on them, because if you don’t your going to miss something and you’re going to wish you had!

I get it, it’s tough because it feels like you got two different parts of you talking and you’re trying to figure out what part to listen to…..even when you may already know…..with Winter on it’s way out the door and Spring around the corner, you just feel like it’s getting to a point where you know you have to make a choice and trust that, whatever choice you make will be good, although they say no choice is ever bad, it just leads you down a different road, but you have to ask if that road is something you’re okay with going down!?

If it’s a road that has been on your mind for quite some time, shouldn’t that say something? It’s not about fear anymore, it’s about taking that chance to see where that road leads you, the only thing you have to do is decide and make that choice already, because the more you think the less you’re going to actually go for it, so what’s it going to be? Will you take that chance or will keep thinking about it, you already know what you want to do so what’s stopping you!?

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Do What You Like, Be Free To Be Whatever!

This is probably one of the most cheesiest titles you’ve read or maybe not….if I’m being honest this title is a combination of two different lyrics from two different songs, both favorites of mine and by two artists that I admire! The first part of the title come from the song Living In Colour by non other than my all time favorite artist Alexz Johnson while the other part, kind of comes from the song No Regrets by an artist named Dappy at least it’s inspired by it anyway….I don’t know how many people know of either artist, but Alexz Johnson has always been one of my favorites since the moment I saw her show Instant Star, it was then I knew I found an artist I was going to listen to forever!

As for Dappy, I was introduced to his music by my partner whose a really big fan of his, the first song he ever had me listen to by Dappy was called Money Can’t Buy, it’s a love song of course, but it’s an amazing song and one of my other favorites!! Now Dappy isn’t just a singer he also raps too and comes from the UK, he also had this group called N-Dubs which had him, his cousin Tulisa and a friend of his I believe named Fazer who happens to rap as well! Now I’m not here to talk about these two artists, although they are great and their music is always a pleasure to listen to, I just wanted to explain the title name…..however I should point out that the actual lyrics to Dappy’s No Regrets is “I’m Free To Be Whatever I….”following a few bar flows after those lyrics!

What I really wanted to talk about is what I mean with the title I have there, well I will do my best to explain it at least! Now to me, both these lyrics have an encouragement feel to them, “Do what you like” by Alexz Johnson meaning “go for it” while the actual lyrics to Dappy’s song No Regrets ” I’m free to be whatever I…” that one goes more on the fact of having that freedom to do, well going back to the first song, pretty much whatever you like, being whoever it is you choose to be and allowing yourself to have the confidence to say “this is my life and I will decide how I want to live it” it’s letting you know to go after anything you believe in and are truly wanting without those regrets in the back of your mind, where you’re asking yourself “what if”

Keeping the what if’s in your head will always make you feel like, you have to just go with what’s there, but life isn’t about being okay with that, you have to be okay with change no matter how scary it is…..you don’t want to sit back and think to yourself “I didn’t, I should’ve, maybe” We always hear how short life is and the thing with it is, we think because we are still here doing the things we’re doing and getting to certain ages that it’s not really short, but it actually is….because you can walk past someone and that day their fine, but when you go to see them again….something is different and then next thing you know….you’re no longer seeing them!!

It’s a frightening scary thing and it’s something I don’t like to think about, but when you really look at it, it really does say a lot….we’re always worrying about everything, but that’s because we’re feeling things that we don’t even understand sometimes…..but it comes with the experience of life, but life is also meant to be experienced, you’re meant to be inspired, to be entertained and say “woah I’ve never seen that before or let alone known that it could exist” You’re meant to explore and feel different things, in different ways then imagined!!

There’s a lot of fear that is hard to shake within us, I have a few fears myself and one of them used to be change, I didn’t like things changing, I liked being safe and comfortable, I always thought that I wanted everything to stay the same, until eventually I witness change happening around me, forcing me to become uncomfortable and really see things differently and before I knew it…..I started to change and I saw how me changing and wanting different started to effect people around me!

I was always a certain way and when I stopped being that certain way and being vocal about it….it wasn’t well received, but I knew that it needed to happen because had it not happened, I would’ve still been in that situation…..the older I get the more I’m realizing how important it is to really go after what it is you want and not be afraid or feel bad for wanting those things, we’re allowed to want things, we’re allowed to say “hey this is what I’m doing, it’s okay that you don’t agree or like it, but I’m doing it anyway” it may be a scary thing to do, but it’s better to be brave and do it while shaking the nerves away, then to not do it and stress yourself out about it and how you should’ve done it….it’s okay to take that breath if needed, but if you find yourself feeling something like this lately then you may just want to consider some of these words

You don’t necessarily have to, but if you know there’s something in your heart that you would like to do and have been thinking about for a while, it really doesn’t hurt to give it a go and try, the only thing that will happen is that you’ll find yourself growing more and possibly enjoying yourself as you experience that new thing that is speaking to you!

That’s all I want to say, hope you all have a good rest of the day, stay safe and take care!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

How To Title A Post That’s Filled With Emotions…

I have a lot of feelings at the moment that I’m trying to hold in, I wish we didn’t always have to feel as though we need to be strong, It would be nice to just let emotions out without worrying everyone close to you or where you’re being questioned about it! Unfortunately though, that’s not possible…..if I was the kind of person to not be bothered with expressing my emotions, you’d always know what I was feeling, but I’m not that person, I only share my true feelings with those that I’m really close to and even then am I wary of that…..I don’t do well with my emotions, it’s hard for me to really say what I mean without my eyes being overflown with water trying to escape, for someone that’s an Earth sign, I sure got a lot of water in me!

I’m an emotional person and I guess that comes with being an Earth sign and feeling everything deeply, a lot of the time it’s more frustrating then anything, when you’re an emotional person like I am, you feel you always need to hide yourself, because being around others when you know that you may start having a breakdown or just randomly start bursting into tears is anxiety inducing then being someone whose always angry…..I always feel I need to go somewhere that will allow me to just be at my most vulnerable, somewhere that’s quiet and won’t judge me for feeling the way I do and allow me to just let that side of me out!

I guess that’s why I love nature so much because I can be me regardless to what feelings I’m feeling! You don’t ever have to worry about hurting someone or lie to people about being fine when you’re actually not! It’d be good to actually be able to not care, but when you’re someone who cares deeply about everything, you’ll realize that not caring isn’t apart of your nature nor vocabulary…..I can say I don’t care, but inside that’s not how I actually feel, I care even when I try not! It’s the people that care too much that always feels the most and that find themselves getting caught in shit that they weren’t even supposed to be around for…..

You can have the most tough exterior known to man, but if you have just a hint of that nature side to you, just a hint of empathy…..no amount of armor can keep you from hiding away from your emotional side…you can keep it calm yeah, but there’s only so much you can do before you find yourself getting overwhelmed and watching as the tide slowly start coming over you and once that happens…..there’s nothing you can do to stop it because whether you want it to or not, it will hit you and force you to observe that emotion and if you don’t observe it then it’ll keep hitting you until you end up accepting it and allow it to happen or just watch yourself drown from those emotions constantly!

It’s a lose/win/lose battle here, lose because everyone can almost always see it and you can’t really hide, win because you’re letting those feelings out and allowing them to be seen for what they are, which is always important, but it’s a losing battle because it’s something that is unavoidable, something that no matter how hard you try to put in the back of your mind, it will always find a way to make you see it, be it by just nudging you or giving you a whole wave of it just so you can’t ignore what’s really rising under the surface!

I want to be the one to say I’m okay, but I wrote this post for a reason even though it took a lot in me to keep my emotions at bay, but in reality the truth of the matter is I’m sad, but I don’t want anyone to know, yet here I am writing about it and talking about emotions! I’m full of nerves, because I’m feeling emotional and I’m frustrated because I know that although I’m fine at the moment, my emotional side will show it’s face again and because I know myself on that aspect it’s going to be hard to calm it down when it does get too overwhelming for me…..

Just to clarify, this is my way of acknowledging my emotions and being aware to the way I’ve been feeling today, I haven’t cried yet, which is good for me, I’ve come close to it quiet a few times while I was writing all of this, but I’m trying to keep the calm as best as I can, it’s been really hard though and although I’ve just written about being emotional and everything, I’m not going to talk about why, because that’s personal and I’ve not written this for it to make anyone feel a certain way, I just honestly needed to write this out because it was the only way I could get my words/thoughts out without it sounding weird!

I may be able to express on my feelings a lot better vocally, but I always feel when I write it down, it helps me to understand my own thoughts better and keeps me from worrying about whether I’ve said everything all right (Not saying I don’t still worry, it’s a habit that is hard to shake sometimes) but the fact that I was able to write this out, it helps me to feel a little better…..sorta

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

How To Organize The Day…Not Quite The Title You Think It is!

It seems like a fairly easy thing to do yeah!? Yet somehow you find it’s not actually quite that simple, see the way I see organization is to list everything that I have in mind to do and then pick the one that I want to do most throughout the list, not the most efficient way to do things and really get the most out of the day, but honestly that’s the truth to how I tend to organize myself.

I’m usually someone who wings a lot of things, I’ve said this before and I’ll most likely keep saying it until I’m blue in the face or until I eventually sort it out, but planning is just a very hard thing for me and it’s not that I don’t want to plan anything, but the concept in my mind as simple as it may be….I just find it quite challenging! Whether I’m trying to work out the day or really think of a solution to something that is very important and needs sorting…..I don’t plan the way most people plan and if I’m being completely honest here, I’m not the greatest decision maker, I always do my best to make decisions, but I know that it’s one of my things that’s still being worked on!

I have gotten better, I mean if you met me before, not that many of you have met me now and I mean actually met me, but I was a lot worst at making decisions then compared to now and speaking of that, really looking at it now…..I have gotten better with it through time, at least I feel I have anyway, is it something I’ve mastered…..no, not at all….am I better at it completely? For the most part yes, but it’s still a work in progress and that’s something I can say I’m not afraid to admit! I normally would use this kind of post as a positive way of explanation and by that I mean doing my best to help you “Organize the day” with by giving some pointers if you want to call it that if it’s something you too are having trouble with, but I thought instead of doing that,

I’d tell you how shit I am at planning things, I mean I don’t even know what to do whenever my birthday rolls around sooo there’s that! However, I’m not going to call it a weakness of mine at least me now won’t, we all have things that are a little more challenging to us then what it’s like to others, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t still improve on the things we’re finding ourselves getting a bit lost in, because the way I see it is….

There’s different types of planning, you may not be the best at planning parties or any kind of social gatherings, but there may be something within you that you’re either not aware of or that you feel doesn’t count and you’re just doing whatever it is you’re doing, but you’ll find that other people have taken notice of how well you do a certain thing and how well you’re able to lay it out without realizing, for you it’s a natural thing….however for others, it’s something they would’ve never thought of! We all have our own way of figuring out what goes where and how to set it out properly, it may take a while for some, while others might get it like “snap” that!

Some of us may need to explore and see what we’re working with in order for us to gain some kind of solution and really understand, so that we have the knowledge or at least a little bit of it, to move forward in confidence with whatever the next part is! It’s like video games….hear me out…..when we’re playing a video game for the first time without knowing anything about it….what is that we do?…..we explore our surroundings and see if we can get information in some way about the objective at foot.

Now most of us will look into every nook and cranny (ha) continuing sorry not sorry…..until we’ve found something new, there are games that have specific goals that need checking off, while others will let you explore without any prior knowledge about what’s actually meant to be going on, yes you have your story with it, but it’s up to you to unfold what’s ahead of the game all while trying to understand what message it’s trying to convey!

Now how you choose your gameplay to be when exploring and discovering, will help to give you the idea and answers you’re looking for! It’s pretty much stuff like that….I don’t mean with real life situations, although you do have those random occasions where you can use video games and life in the same sentence, but I’m just speaking on the planning and decision making aspect of it, it’s not always that way, but it can help to possibly understand better and use what you get from it in someway or form!

Update:

I know that it’s been quite some time, but I recently recorded a new episode on my podcast, it’s the first episode back since my last episode as well as the first episode of 2022….now it’s not what I originally wanted to return with, but I felt it would’ve been a bit odd to record a new episode on something I enjoyed knowing I hadn’t recorded in 2 months…..plus I wasn’t really feeling quite energetic today, so I ended up turning this post into an episode….sorta, it’s a bit different to what I’ve written, honestly I should’ve just read what I wrote because my nerves started getting to me while recording so if it sounds odd you know why, hopefully it’s okay, but here’s the episode: https://anchor.fm/lexa-marie3/episodes/Getting-Organized—-Where-To-Start–Blog-Post-Ep–47-e1e3at5

Getting Organized….Where To Start? (Blog Post) Ep. 47 Daydreamer's Podcast

Happy Late New Year….it's been a good while since the last episode, you would think that I'd know what I'm doing and yet here I am with heighten nerves trying to share some thoughts with this episode! A bit of a rough start back, I'll admit, but I shall do my best anyway, so without further ado, let's have a bit of a chat!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

M O N D A Y S!

Mondays are the days that begin again, it brings connection which allows the rest of the days to follow soon after! We often see Mondays in a Garfield the cat sort of way, it’s not everyone’s favorite day, but the way I like to see it, with Mondays you get more of a clean slate with it. Monday’s aren’t really a favorite of mine either, but I have grown to appreciate it a little more, it’s not a bad day specifically it all just comes down to what actually transpires within the day that can leave it feeling like the best day ever or the most crappiest day ever, but it also comes to how well you handle and get through the day in the start of the week!

Mondays can always feel like a chore to get through, but the reason for that isn’t the day itself, but the energy we put out with it, we look at Monday’s and think “Ugh” not realizing that those thoughts have the ability to lead out the rest of our days for that week. It’s true…..the energy that you put out will always be the energy that is given back to you, it’s a reflection and if you keep the reflection the same, you leave no room for it to be different….unless you switch up the energy!

You can still feel those emotions, you just got to be mindful of them…..which can be a bit hard, to be quite honest, I struggle with this sort of problem, now I don’t mean in a sense of not liking Mondays, like I said I’ve grown to respect Mondays, I see it in a different way and feel it to have a specific theme! To explain it, would be hard, so it may not make much sense! The way I look at it, is…..we all feel the days differently in a more deeper way that can be hard to pin point, yet it still feels to be of some kind of importance, now what kind of importance it is, comes down to what it feels like to you!

I’ll try and give an example the best way I’m able to, so it can kind of make sense…to me, Mondays have this sort of putting pen to paper kind of thing to it, so brainstorming in a way, preparing for whatever it is that needs preparing and working towards how you want the rest of the week to play out, not in a busy way, but in a more efficient way that’s not going to leave you feeling like there’s still loads to do at the end of it! I also feel music to be involved in some way, but that’s because I love music, but for some reason for me I think of Mondays and music comes to mind first, but it also has that feeling of coming across something new, new music, new video games, potential ideas of some sort those kind of things, just full of new discoveries!

Mondays have a practice vibe to it, it’s not about getting everything done all at once, but just trying to figure out efficient ways of doing things, learning to include the practice of managing things better and seeing how well you’re able to prepare yourself in a more still kind of way if that makes better sense….if it doesn’t that’s okay, but that how I always feel Mondays to be like at least to me when thinking about it!

Now I may have wrote all of this, but it doesn’t mean I’ve mastered any of it….it’s actually one of the things I struggle with, knowing how to prepare things out properly, now planning may not be a strong suit of mine, I’m more with the go with the flow kind of girl, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying to figure it out, eventually it will click and I’ll know that I will better understand it in a way that it becomes second nature in way, it just comes with practice same with everything else!

Back to the whole energy of Monday’s though, hopefully I didn’t get too off track there and that this all still makes sense, my deliveries aren’t always the greatest I know, but to wrap everything up in a somewhat slightly nice slanted bow…..Monday’s don’t have to always seem so draggy and chore daunting, it can be fun and full of excitement, you just have to give it the energy you want out of it and shield off any negative projectiles coming at you the best way you can….really it just comes down to making the best out of a situation and being mindful of what thoughts and emotions you’re giving off for the day!

If you start the week off in a panic….the rest of day is going to be filled with chaos most likely (not always) but it will feel like it! If you wake up thinking to yourself “I just want it to be Friday already” knowing the week just started then don’t be surprise when you feel it to be Wednesday, but it’s actually Tuesday! We have to try and give each day the best energy we can, we don’t have to be feeling 100%, however if the day is feeling super crappy, find something that will help change up that crappy energy or if you find it’s going slow….and you’ve done everything you needed to do that day….don’t be afraid to use that extra time on yourself if it’s needed!

Maybe there’s something you meant to do, but never got around for, you can always use that extra time for that thing you’ve been wanting to do….if you have that extra time, try and see in what ways you can use it! Maybe you don’t have that extra time and the day has flown away from you, if that’s the case try not to get too upset on not getting all that you wanted done that day, like I said not everything needs to be done all at once…..allow yourself to leave room for what hasn’t been done then for another time, because 9/10 it’s meant for another time, allow yourself to finish up what it is your doing in the moment and leave what you weren’t able to do for later.

Mondays are at the beginning of the week for a reason…..we need Monday in order for the other days to flow properly without, it would always feel like something is missing…..Mondays are what a blank canvas is before the creativity start flowing, it’s about preparation in getting things ready before you’re really ready to go, that’s what Monday’s mean to me, maybe it means something different to you! Feel free to share what you feel when you think of Mondays!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas…However It Sure Doesn’t Feel Like It!

So it seems we’re getting closer to Christmas time along with the new year, we got 4 more days before everyone’s saying Merry Christmas and one more week left before we’re saying farewell to 2021 and how’s it going 2022! I can’t even begin to tell you where this year has gone especially when it comes to the month of December….this month approached us so quickly and just as we were getting comfortable with it, thinking it was going to stay a while like the rest of the other months, it surprised us all with how close it is to finishing, LITERALLY December is over next week and I don’t know how to feel about that exactly!?

You know I was thinking out loud to myself earlier this morning, I had a few thoughts and the best way for me to get my thoughts out is speaking out loud to myself, it helps me to not keep certain emotions in…..I probably could’ve written it down as well, but it wasn’t in my mind to that in the moment so I was just letting it out to the air! I know that probably sounds weird, but I feel it to really help, sometimes I don’t always want to talk about things to people so I say it to myself that way it’s out of my head.

I won’t talk about everything I thought about, but I will talk about a specific thing…which actually came out of nowhere to be fair…..I had a thought where I thought about dealing with things, now this may come out as deep, although it’s not what I’m intending for it to be, but if it does then it does…..anyway when it comes to dealing with things and this could be in a general state…..as humans….we don’t necessarily have to deal with anything really, yes there are things that we have to accept in our lives, but the real question or statement to it shall I say isn’t about dealing with things, but more adapting to it, where it’s a choice!

What I mean by that is, when we’re surrounded with different scenarios, situations, people even, we have the choice of whether we want to allow those things into our lives, as well as choosing whether we want to adapt to those things…..life is always going as we know, we also know that there’s always something new to experience with it and a lot of the time we aren’t aware to what those things are and so we tend to be left with surprises from it!

That being said….just because there’s a lot going on with life it doesn’t mean that we have to always adapt to everything, although we should try our best to accept things as they are, even when it’s something we may not want to accept in the moment, it’s important to know that there’s a difference to accepting something and having the choice to adapt to that same thing…..it’s like flowers…..I know weird example I’m about to give, but it’s the first thing that came to mind so it’s what I’m going to use, flowers are very interesting!

If you’re lucky you may just see one sprout through concrete…..but with most flowers they all have a season, most of them tend to grow during the Springtime, but there are others that grow in the Summer and Fall and there are very rare and unique ones that might just grow during the Winter time, now you might be asking yourself where am I going with this…..to bring it back the best way I know how…..with most flowers they know their season and although there are flowers that will adapt and grow in the other seasons, most of them are Spring time flowers and won’t grow in any other season, but it’s because it’s how their made, they accept it!

What I’m trying to say here is, we’re not always meant to adapt to certain things, we can choose to adapt and put ourselves into something and be around people that are a little different to us, but that we know can help us in some way, however we don’t have to feel like we have to force ourselves to adapt to things that we know within ourselves isn’t who we are! When we find ourselves in those situations, it’s important to hear what our inner voices are saying, so if you’re in a place and you start to feel like you’re not meant to be there….really listen to that feeling!

If you find yourself surrounded by people and you’re feeling more out of place then you are enjoying yourself then really look at that, sometimes you can have moments where it’s more out of shyness then you feeling you’re just there and that’s it, it really depends on the situation there, but if you genuinely feel like you’re always invading people personal space even when they tell you you’re not or you just feel like it’s not your kind of scene then that’s when you want to look into it deeper!

Now I’m not saying don’t go out of your comfort because it’s important to do that every now and again, because it allows you to gain new experiences and see things in a whole new way to what you were use to, as well as getting to meet new people, some of them will have shared interests and will be similar to you and some will be the complete opposite to you, but sometimes that’s the best thing because you don’t want everyone to be like you it’s good to have that one person that’s more realistic and will tell you “hey you might want to re look at this” or tell you if you’re going a little off track, but not in a way of saying their way is right and your way is wrong, but just by letting you know they care and always want to make sure you’re good!

Those are the people you want in your life, you want someone to be your Ying to their Yang, you can’t have one without the other….but to get back on track…..It’s important to know yourself and what feels right to you and what doesn’t…..in terms of people, as much as we may want all that come into our lives to stay…..not all of them are going to….so as we wrap up the year within the next few days…..whoever chooses to adapt and stay in our lives will and those who feel it’s time for them to move on in whatever way or form…..

Well you should always choose to thank them for being with you for the time that they were and accept the situation however it may come, when it comes to all the other things look at what they are and decide if whether you want to adapt to them or not and whatever you choose, always try your best to accept even if it feels hard at first, always accept it!

Take care, stay safe and happy holidays!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa