Tag: Love

Do What You Like, Be Free To Be Whatever!

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

This is probably one of the most cheesiest titles you’ve read or maybe not….if I’m being honest this title is a combination of two different lyrics from two different songs, both favorites of mine and by two artists that I admire! The first part of the title come from the song Living In Colour by non other than my all time favorite artist Alexz Johnson while the other part, kind of comes from the song No Regrets by an artist named Dappy at least it’s inspired by it anyway….I don’t know how many people know of either artist, but Alexz Johnson has always been one of my favorites since the moment I saw her show Instant Star, it was then I knew I found an artist I was going to listen to forever!

As for Dappy, I was introduced to his music by my partner whose a really big fan of his, the first song he ever had me listen to by Dappy was called Money Can’t Buy, it’s a love song of course, but it’s an amazing song and one of my other favorites!! Now Dappy isn’t just a singer he also raps too and comes from the UK, he also had this group called N-Dubs which had him, his cousin Tulisa and a friend of his I believe named Fazer who happens to rap as well! Now I’m not here to talk about these two artists, although they are great and their music is always a pleasure to listen to, I just wanted to explain the title name…..however I should point out that the actual lyrics to Dappy’s No Regrets is “I’m Free To Be Whatever I….”following a few bar flows after those lyrics!

What I really wanted to talk about is what I mean with the title I have there, well I will do my best to explain it at least! Now to me, both these lyrics have an encouragement feel to them, “Do what you like” by Alexz Johnson meaning “go for it” while the actual lyrics to Dappy’s song No Regrets ” I’m free to be whatever I…” that one goes more on the fact of having that freedom to do, well going back to the first song, pretty much whatever you like, being whoever it is you choose to be and allowing yourself to have the confidence to say “this is my life and I will decide how I want to live it” it’s letting you know to go after anything you believe in and are truly wanting without those regrets in the back of your mind, where you’re asking yourself “what if”

Keeping the what if’s in your head will always make you feel like, you have to just go with what’s there, but life isn’t about being okay with that, you have to be okay with change no matter how scary it is…..you don’t want to sit back and think to yourself “I didn’t, I should’ve, maybe” We always hear how short life is and the thing with it is, we think because we are still here doing the things we’re doing and getting to certain ages that it’s not really short, but it actually is….because you can walk past someone and that day their fine, but when you go to see them again….something is different and then next thing you know….you’re no longer seeing them!!

It’s a frightening scary thing and it’s something I don’t like to think about, but when you really look at it, it really does say a lot….we’re always worrying about everything, but that’s because we’re feeling things that we don’t even understand sometimes…..but it comes with the experience of life, but life is also meant to be experienced, you’re meant to be inspired, to be entertained and say “woah I’ve never seen that before or let alone known that it could exist” You’re meant to explore and feel different things, in different ways then imagined!!

There’s a lot of fear that is hard to shake within us, I have a few fears myself and one of them used to be change, I didn’t like things changing, I liked being safe and comfortable, I always thought that I wanted everything to stay the same, until eventually I witness change happening around me, forcing me to become uncomfortable and really see things differently and before I knew it…..I started to change and I saw how me changing and wanting different started to effect people around me!

I was always a certain way and when I stopped being that certain way and being vocal about it….it wasn’t well received, but I knew that it needed to happen because had it not happened, I would’ve still been in that situation…..the older I get the more I’m realizing how important it is to really go after what it is you want and not be afraid or feel bad for wanting those things, we’re allowed to want things, we’re allowed to say “hey this is what I’m doing, it’s okay that you don’t agree or like it, but I’m doing it anyway” it may be a scary thing to do, but it’s better to be brave and do it while shaking the nerves away, then to not do it and stress yourself out about it and how you should’ve done it….it’s okay to take that breath if needed, but if you find yourself feeling something like this lately then you may just want to consider some of these words

You don’t necessarily have to, but if you know there’s something in your heart that you would like to do and have been thinking about for a while, it really doesn’t hurt to give it a go and try, the only thing that will happen is that you’ll find yourself growing more and possibly enjoying yourself as you experience that new thing that is speaking to you!

That’s all I want to say, hope you all have a good rest of the day, stay safe and take care!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas…However It Sure Doesn’t Feel Like It!

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So it seems we’re getting closer to Christmas time along with the new year, we got 4 more days before everyone’s saying Merry Christmas and one more week left before we’re saying farewell to 2021 and how’s it going 2022! I can’t even begin to tell you where this year has gone especially when it comes to the month of December….this month approached us so quickly and just as we were getting comfortable with it, thinking it was going to stay a while like the rest of the other months, it surprised us all with how close it is to finishing, LITERALLY December is over next week and I don’t know how to feel about that exactly!?

You know I was thinking out loud to myself earlier this morning, I had a few thoughts and the best way for me to get my thoughts out is speaking out loud to myself, it helps me to not keep certain emotions in…..I probably could’ve written it down as well, but it wasn’t in my mind to that in the moment so I was just letting it out to the air! I know that probably sounds weird, but I feel it to really help, sometimes I don’t always want to talk about things to people so I say it to myself that way it’s out of my head.

I won’t talk about everything I thought about, but I will talk about a specific thing…which actually came out of nowhere to be fair…..I had a thought where I thought about dealing with things, now this may come out as deep, although it’s not what I’m intending for it to be, but if it does then it does…..anyway when it comes to dealing with things and this could be in a general state…..as humans….we don’t necessarily have to deal with anything really, yes there are things that we have to accept in our lives, but the real question or statement to it shall I say isn’t about dealing with things, but more adapting to it, where it’s a choice!

What I mean by that is, when we’re surrounded with different scenarios, situations, people even, we have the choice of whether we want to allow those things into our lives, as well as choosing whether we want to adapt to those things…..life is always going as we know, we also know that there’s always something new to experience with it and a lot of the time we aren’t aware to what those things are and so we tend to be left with surprises from it!

That being said….just because there’s a lot going on with life it doesn’t mean that we have to always adapt to everything, although we should try our best to accept things as they are, even when it’s something we may not want to accept in the moment, it’s important to know that there’s a difference to accepting something and having the choice to adapt to that same thing…..it’s like flowers…..I know weird example I’m about to give, but it’s the first thing that came to mind so it’s what I’m going to use, flowers are very interesting!

If you’re lucky you may just see one sprout through concrete…..but with most flowers they all have a season, most of them tend to grow during the Springtime, but there are others that grow in the Summer and Fall and there are very rare and unique ones that might just grow during the Winter time, now you might be asking yourself where am I going with this…..to bring it back the best way I know how…..with most flowers they know their season and although there are flowers that will adapt and grow in the other seasons, most of them are Spring time flowers and won’t grow in any other season, but it’s because it’s how their made, they accept it!

What I’m trying to say here is, we’re not always meant to adapt to certain things, we can choose to adapt and put ourselves into something and be around people that are a little different to us, but that we know can help us in some way, however we don’t have to feel like we have to force ourselves to adapt to things that we know within ourselves isn’t who we are! When we find ourselves in those situations, it’s important to hear what our inner voices are saying, so if you’re in a place and you start to feel like you’re not meant to be there….really listen to that feeling!

If you find yourself surrounded by people and you’re feeling more out of place then you are enjoying yourself then really look at that, sometimes you can have moments where it’s more out of shyness then you feeling you’re just there and that’s it, it really depends on the situation there, but if you genuinely feel like you’re always invading people personal space even when they tell you you’re not or you just feel like it’s not your kind of scene then that’s when you want to look into it deeper!

Now I’m not saying don’t go out of your comfort because it’s important to do that every now and again, because it allows you to gain new experiences and see things in a whole new way to what you were use to, as well as getting to meet new people, some of them will have shared interests and will be similar to you and some will be the complete opposite to you, but sometimes that’s the best thing because you don’t want everyone to be like you it’s good to have that one person that’s more realistic and will tell you “hey you might want to re look at this” or tell you if you’re going a little off track, but not in a way of saying their way is right and your way is wrong, but just by letting you know they care and always want to make sure you’re good!

Those are the people you want in your life, you want someone to be your Ying to their Yang, you can’t have one without the other….but to get back on track…..It’s important to know yourself and what feels right to you and what doesn’t…..in terms of people, as much as we may want all that come into our lives to stay…..not all of them are going to….so as we wrap up the year within the next few days…..whoever chooses to adapt and stay in our lives will and those who feel it’s time for them to move on in whatever way or form…..

Well you should always choose to thank them for being with you for the time that they were and accept the situation however it may come, when it comes to all the other things look at what they are and decide if whether you want to adapt to them or not and whatever you choose, always try your best to accept even if it feels hard at first, always accept it!

Take care, stay safe and happy holidays!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

I Don’t Know If You Know This, But Christmas Is Literally Next Week!!?

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Happy Holidays!!

It was yesterday that I came to the realization that we’re only 1 week away from Christmas…..1 WEEK!! I don’t know why December feels like it both just started and has more days to it then normal!? At least this year, am I the only one that feels that way? Possibly…..maybe…..I guess part of me isn’t ready to start 2022 yet, although I also am because I’m hoping for this upcoming year that is 2022 to have some kind of big change that ends up good and more than I could ever hope for!

Not saying I can’t make something big happen myself although when it comes to trying to make big things happen it can be kind of intimidating because who knows if it’ll be really big or something that feels big, but is actually just small, you know what I mean!? Not that there’s anything wrong with having something feel big, but is actually small in comparison to what you may have had in mind…..what I’m trying to say is I just would like 2022 to be the year that everything falls in to place, however way it may land or choose to land!

To be able to make up our minds about certain things that we may have wanted to do for a very good while now, but somewhere deep down we’re still afraid to do anything about it, finally choosing a direction to go in and sticking with it because it something we truly believe in and truly see it to be the better thing for us in the end or because we know we’re really interested and happy doing those things we love!

Not wanting to regret a single thing that comes next and just allowing ourselves to just go for those things, not wanting to be afraid and feeling like we soon won’t have a choice because we already made the choice, even if it feels wrong at first, but really just turns out to be something we were actually looking for and wishing to happen or maybe even weren’t looking for…..

Don’t you just want to be able to get up in the morning and always know you have something to look forward to, wake up knowing you’re where you’re truly meant to be!? Where you have always wanted to be despite the fears and doubts that constantly float around in your head? Don’t you want to be happy? Maybe you’ve really been wishing to be near that special someone for quite sometime and at the moment you haven’t really been able to see that person, but you know you’re wanting so bad to have them close by without always having that thought of I wish they were…..

maybe there’s something you’ve had your heart set out to finally pick up a new hobby or creative spark, but have been feeling a little low on energy or not feeling it to be the best time, due to being overly busy or just because you really haven’t had time to get around to it! If there’s anything I would like to come from 2022 that I can honestly say would make it if not the best year, but where I would consider it the best year overall, is to uncover a new found creative spark where I can have endless amount of creativity where I’m left happy everyday and to finally reunite and have my guy by me always….

Those two thing…..would make 2022 an automatic favorite, everything else that follows and comes with the year will be bonuses, but if I had to really say what I would like to come from this upcoming year it would be unlimited amount of creativity and reuniting with my love….if I were to add some other things in there…..I would say…..more adventures, letting go any fears and uncertainties, new transformations…..I guess I would just be open to anything that I have yet to discover! 2021 has been rough…..there’s been some new things, but there’s also been a few postpones, which I know happens sometimes it’s for the best and maybe you find you need a bit more time to sort things out properly!

I think we’re all in need for 2022 to be that sense of fresh air that we haven’t had in a while, be that start of something new and different to what we already know, a new kind of adventure that we know is calling to us, but are having trouble answering and letting in because we don’t know what will come of it…..that’s how I’ve been feeling these days I guess….and it’s the first time in a very long while that I’m sharing my own personal thoughts where I don’t feel like I have to figure my words out….this is just what I feel, what I have been feeling, but didn’t come around to truly knowing how to express these thoughts until now!

I guess winter really is the best time to reflect on all that we’ve kept bottled in…..2021 had it’s best and not so great moments and the realization that it’s practically over is really….something, we only have Christmas and then we’re off to a new year, so if you have any last minute reflection to do…..definitely think about them, ask yourself what it is you want to happen for this upcoming year, leave the fear to the side, the worries and try to just look for the road and if you can’t find it…..let your heart and intuition guide you to what feels right and when you do…..keep following it even if you are scared, you will always get to where you need to, you just have to be willing to take that leap and trust that where you land is going to be safe and lead you to where you’re meant to be!

Safe travels wherever you go, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

So We’ve Entered December….

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We’re now on the second day of December and let me tell you….it’s one of them chaotic days, you know the stressed out, everything is everywhere and all you want to do is close your eyes and take a nap and just listen to the silence around you, yeah that kind of day! It sorta slowed down a bit as I’m writing this, but earlier, there was a lot going on.

I can’t believe we’re nearing the end of the year, talk about 2021 flying by yeah!? It doesn’t help that it’s around the holidays too, I mean the holidays are ALWAYS busy with everyone doing late Christmas shopping trying to get everything done all at once and probably driving themselves mad to be fair with how hectic it gets around this time of year, I mean it never fails, but we just learn to accept it as it is!

Last week when we we’re still in the month of November, even though it ended two days ago….still, when I tell you last week was busy….it was busy….everything was happening within that whole week, Thanksgiving/my nephews birthday as well as his party after his birthday, there was just a lot of events in one day and hey you would think after it was over that you’d be able to relax somewhat, but noo, not quite!!

Now we’re in a whole new month and the years practically over…..and Christmas is making it’s way towards us, I mean it’s a couple weeks away, but if you really think about it, it’s already here, It was here once November started and once Halloween left the building…..I can’t really say what this years been like is that weird to say!? Some people might be able to talk about all that’s happened with them and everything they’ve been up to and what they’re planning on doing for the upcoming year…..however I feel like it’s still a bit uncertain just what will come for the new year….as far as what this years been like, well…..a lot of different things happened, some slightly big, some not that big!

I had a few new experiences, nothing too dramatic though, but they were still nice ones nonetheless! I did have some plans that didn’t quite go accordingly, but that’s okay, a lot of the time, things work out better when they aren’t planned, but just because, plans don’t happen in the time you want them too, doesn’t mean it won’t happen later down the line, everything happens for a reason, if it’s meant to happen it will always find a way and I will always believe that to be true, so…..if plans fell short for some of you out there this year, don’t give up on them, maybe those plans will transform into something completely different then what you might have initially thought and will end up surprising you in a way that you have yet to imagine!

Other than that, it’s been quite the year, full of many ups and downs and whirlwinds galore, 2021 has brought a lot of mixed feelings for everyone, including myself, but there’s still time to make the most of the year with these next few weeks of December, if it’s been tough, just keep doing your best and have faith that it’ll turn around soon enough! Sorry if this post is a short one…..kind of dealing with a headache at the moment, just a mild one though, plus I’ve been a bit low on energy, but I wanted to try and write something for today!

I hope that you all have been having a good day and week, take care, stay safe and happy holidays!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Happy Holidays, May It Treat You All Kind!

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Ahhh the holidays…..some people love it, while others…..loath it! To be fair the holidays are always a bit of an up in the air kind of topic, it’s always getting mixed feelings whenever it rolls around! The way I see it however is, I try and make the most of the holidays, it’s not always been the greatest of times, but even then I know that you can always choose to focus on the best parts of it. I think one of the reasons most people don’t really enjoy the holidays is due to the fact that, the people they celebrated those times with are no longer around, so every time it does come to the jolliest of jolly days…..it’s hard to get into the spirit of it!

Which I understand, it’s never easy to go through life without always having that one person there to help you get through it or just help to be the best part of it….and when that person or number of people are no longer here…..it just always feels like something is missing and no matter how hard you may try to put it in the back in of your mind, you’re always going to find yourself feeling that heaviness of not having that person there.

I was thinking about this to myself not that long ago as I was washing the dishes, it’s been a bit of a morning coming from a very long eventful week, it’s not been super crazy the morning anyway, there was just something that happened yesterday evening that had the morning be a little down-ish, but I like to think that it’s a little bit better now, maybe not in a complete sense of it, but a good sense of it nonetheless!

Anyway, I was thinking to myself on how if it were possible to always have certain people with us in the sense of the people that are no longer here….we wouldn’t have to worry and they would just be with us always, but as we all are aware deep down, that’s not always possible…..and as much as I don’t want to say it, the reality of it is that it wouldn’t be life is we had the choice to have that happen.

Life is a very interesting thing, but one of the things to life is that although we have control of certain ways of life, we don’t have control of everything and that’s something that no matter how much we know it and how much we wish we did….there’s no denying that we don’t and that’s where it will always be hard, especially when it comes to those that are very special in our lives or when trying to do something even! Whether we all feel it or not, we all like a bit of control let’s face it, but it’s when there are things that are out of our control where we stress ourselves out more, knowing deep within us, there’s nothing we can do about it,

Yet we will still try and have it in our minds until we’re blue in the face because it’s just difficult to comprehend, we may accept it after fighting so long to not want to understand, but it doesn’t mean that it’s still easy…..

There’s many reasons to why the holidays are always such a rough time for most people. It could be that something big happened during that time and not in a good way, not talking on the fact of losing people here, but more in a sense of having something deep and personal happen! Maybe for some, you might’ve been battling inner demons for a specific amount of years until eventually getting through it and coming out on the other side safely or just not having the best holiday experiences, due to family not always being the best, not having anyone to celebrate it with and many other reasons.

So whenever it comes around it’s just always this….not wanting to use the word Trauma, but maybe for those out there it could be for that reason, where a big Traumatic event happened during the holidays or it just not always been positive whenever it did come to this time of year….like I said, the holiday times are rough and it’s always when it gets close to the end of the year because that’s when we do most of our reflecting, with all the things we felt, what we went through, trying to release everything in our hearts and mind in hopes that those things don’t follow us into the new year, which sometimes it does, because we don’t allow ourselves to let go of all those things that kept us up all night and feeling so stressed out!

We may feel like we let it all go, but we still carry certain events, thoughts, emotions with us and I’m not saying it’s bad, it’s good to keep things close to our hearts, it’s just the things that we choose to carry are the same things that we can’t control instead of just allowing some of those uncontrolled things to unfold the way they’re meant to all while accepting and letting go of the things that may be unfinished for a reason…..

As for the holidays, yeah it’s hectic and full of mixed emotions, but it’s not always bad, there’s always something to look forward to, we just have to be willing to see it and trust that it will always lead somewhere good, be it big or small….I think we all sometimes forget what the holidays are truly about, which is why the whole magic and feel of it gets a bit lost, but it doesn’t mean that it’s not still there, it’s always there, it can just take a while to really see it, due to the journey being a bit bumpy and going all over the place, but even then we should always try and appreciate it, because without all our journey experiences, we wouldn’t be who we are today!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

It’s A New Dawn, New Day, New Month! Well…..Almost…..

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Anyone else feeling exhausted!? This month is nearly over and I can’t tell you how tired I am, I’ve not been able to really sleep properly for the past few days, I just started getting a little bit of sleep, not fully, but somewhat! I don’t know if it’s just me that’s been feeling that way though….all I know is I’m ready for a nice chill break! Last week….let’s not talk about it actually….weekend kind of similar, but it was fine! We’ve arrived half way through this week with it being Wednesday and we’re on the last few days of October with Halloween being this Sunday talk about crazy yeah!?

We’re coming to November next week, hard to believe, but it’s true! I want to say that I’m looking forward to the arrival of November, I mean I am, but I’m also just very nervous about it….I have this trip planned for next week and I just don’t know how to feel about it, really….I want to be excited about it, but I don’t know if I should approach it with caution or if I should just embrace it regardless to how I’ve been feeling lately!? November is usually one of my favorite months during the fall season, it’s the first time I’m not sure how to feel about it…..although I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it before either to be honest!?

I never really understood why that is!? Why it’s one my favorites is what I mean….I’ve just always been drawn to it, like if I had to pick a new month to switch my birthday on, it would be November! Now I’m not saying I don’t like May….I’m glad that I was born during the Spring time, May is actually one of my favorite months and no it has nothing to do with that fact that I was born during that month, I just always liked May, plus I always felt it made for a nice name!

I’m just saying there’s just something about November that I’ve always liked, I guess cause it’s one of the Autumn months and Autumn is my second favorite season, Spring being my main favorite, again nothing to do with my birthday! There’s so much to this season….fall is the season of change, sometimes good and sometimes not always…..but still we have no choice, but to just allow it even when we may not want to allow it….I mean you can’t change a season, the only way the weather can change is if it changes itself! Sounds similar to how us humans change huh!? Some times it comes naturally while other days it may be a little forced!

One thing I’ve learned though is how important change is, we all know change is inevitable, there are things that happen that we may not want to happen and it can leave us confused, as well as unsure about a lot of things! One minute things are good and one minute you feel it shift and you don’t know how to feel about it when that does happen, what I’m saying is Change is frustrating ha! I used to strongly dislike change, but later down the line, I started to be okay with it, because I knew that it was needed in order to grow and be who you felt yourself transforming into, sometimes it hard though and you don’t always know the ways you’re changing, you just know that things are different with it!

You feel different, the way you used to see things are different and you tend to notice that what once was….is no longer the same, at least what it used to be anyway and not a lot of people like that, nor can they handle it…..but as much as you may want it to be, not everything is going to be in our control! You have to let people do what they feel they need to do, you have to allow them to grow and figure out what it is they want for themselves, not what you want it to be! Not a lot of people get that though….but it’s very important that we do get that and understand it as well….

It may leave us not feeling the greatest, but when you deeply care and love someone, all you truly want is just for them to be happy and so it takes a lot of courage and maturity to say “Hey if this is what you want, I support you” You always want people to be the best they can be for themselves even if they stumble a bit, it all comes down to just letting them know that you’re always going to be there, no matter what their choices are or the mistakes they make along the way, that regardless you’re going to love them anyway! We’re always so quick to assume or judge and although it’s not how we may want it to go, it’s how life is in reality and that’s coming from someone that continues to learn that….but that has nothing to do with November, it’s just what I’ve been feeling this season to, well feel like!

I have hopes for November though and faith, I need something to hold on to and those two things have always been with me since I was old enough to remember, I’m just hoping for something good to come from and I’m hoping that thing to be what I truly believe in and have always believed in….

I took this one when I went Pumpkin picking….

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

October Stress…

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Happy Weekend Everyone! I hope that your day is going okay so far! I must say I’m a bit happy that this week is done and that we’ve entered the weekend….it’s been a long stressful anxious week and it’s not really been the greatest! If I’m being honest I’m still feeling quite anxious and a little overwhelmed, I thought it would go away, but no, it’s still there ha! It’s just been a really shit week and I don’t normally swear, but it’s how I feel, but I’m doing by best to try and make the most out of these days and keep positive in the best way I’m able to….key word trying….!

I normally don’t like talking about the way I’m feeling, but I don’t know how else to handle these emotions that have just come out of nowhere for me, since yesterday all I’ve been wanting to do is cry, my Anxiety has been up the wall and the sucky part is I really don’t know why…..scratch that there’s a few reasons, but I choose not to share upon them, but other than part of the reason, the other parts I really don’t know….all I know is I’ve just been feeling super stressed out this week and I’m trying to keep my emotions under control, but it’s becoming very hard….I don’t know if maybe sharing these feelings this way will help me to calm down a bit, I’m hoping it does, maybe that’s what I need a good expression session!

October has been very odd, it started off okay and not that bad, except for a couple of things and now it just feels like everything is going all over the place, so much is happening and I guess it’s happening super quickly and that’s why I’m feeling overwhelmed by it all, I’m not used to everything going by super quickly, I thought I was handling it pretty well and maybe I was, but all the craziness and just everything has started catching up to me, but I’m trying to stay calm! I’m trying not to lose control of it, because I know that if I do, it’s just going to get worst and I don’t want that to happen!

So I’m trying to keep my feet planted even if I do get pushed back a bit…I know I got to keep them planted and keep going, it’s the only way things will get better….I got a trip coming up in literally a week now and although I feel excited about it, I’m also very nervous and as much as I don’t want to be nervous I am…..I guess part of me is just hoping that it all goes well, it’s a long of way as I’ll be going to visit my partner finally being able to see him after a very long while…..not only that, but I’ll be seeing something completely new…..which is a bit scary, I mean anything new is quite scary really, but I’m excited because at least I’ll be able to see him….it doesn’t mean I’m not still nervous though! There’s just so much going on in my head and they’re all just combining together to the point where it’s just an overwhelming feeling and it’s the only feeling that I can seem focus on at the moment!

I’m just tired, but I’m still going to do my best to push through it as best as I can, I’m just hoping that the upcoming week is better than this past week and that there’s at least a good amount of fresh air to be inhaled, but for the time being I feel I just need to hold my breath or catch my breath even, before heading into the next few days coming…..I really hope that you guys are having a much better day and weekend…..it’s been quite the month and we’re just getting ready to wrap it all up, one thing I will say is…I do feel slightly better, not quite, but a bit, but hey I’ll take it and I’ll keep trying to make the most of these next few days, you guys take care!

By the way my latest podcast episode is up, if you guys want to check it out, you have a good rest of the day!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Dear Little Me…..(Updated)

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It’s been a while hasn’t it, if only you knew all things we have been through…..I mean seeing that you are apart of me, you probably already know huh!? I’ll be honest I wasn’t really expecting to write to you, it was only after that I read a bit of the first I guess you can call letter post that I wrote to you back in 2018 that I felt like I wanted to update you on a few things that we’ve managed to do…..I’m writing this a bit on the late side on the 15th of September nearly midnight, but not necessarily midnight it’s still around 11:30pm as I’m writing this now, I might just continue this post in the morning so I could really tell you everything that I want you to know….I’ll catch you up on what those things are soon, a part of me might keep the rest as a surprised though, see you in a couple of hours!

Good Morning me, well younger me…..it’s a little early, around 8:40am almost 9am, I don’t know if you remember us always getting up earlier than we needed to back then, there were moments when we got up a bit late as well! Sometimes we’d get up at almost 10am and if we got up at 11am we were upset the whole day…..I’m glad that I changed our sleep schedule all those times ago ha! I don’t know where to start with what’s been going on….We’ve been on quite the journey you and I, a lot of stresses, emotions both good and bad, we had some loses in our lives as well, that meant a lot to us….but on a good note, we did find someone that loves us for our weirdness as well as everything else believe it our not lol…..there’s a lot of things that’s happened since the last time I spoke to you!

We’ve been through some storms, but the one thing though that I feel you’ll really like is that…..we got through them and most of them we’re really hard, because they pushed us to really grow ourselves more and change as well, in the last letter I wrote you…..I felt like I was not doing you proud, that I had failed you as an older version of me and I never knew how to really express that in the best of ways, I only knew how to say sorry and feel bad about everything we were going through at the time…..I wanted you to be happy and I didn’t really give you that chance to be happy then….it took a long while, but I just want you to know that we’re doing good now, where we were then, we aren’t there anymore!

We managed to find our voice, now I won’t say we found it fully fully, there’s still some things that we both are still working out and trying to understand better, which is normal, because not everyone has figured everything out yet, but we have learned a lot and I can honestly say that we are becoming better versions of ourselves more and more each day! Don’t get me wrong we still have our moments where we aren’t always happy and feeling our best, but to how we used to handle those days to how we handle them now…..we’re doing pretty alright for ourselves, our emotions don’t constantly get at us the way they used to, we’ve learned to control them a lot better and not be so hard on ourselves….I mean we’re still hard on ourselves at times, but I think that’s never going to go away really, but that’s okay because it helps us to want to be better!

We’ve grown on a personal level, we’re still the same, but there our some new differences within ourselves that we’ve gained with our personality, for example….we’ve gotten a bit more sarcastic lately, we say what’s on our mind a lot more these days, a bit quickly too, might I add and we’ve gotten better at not taking up things that we know we don’t need in a negative sense….I guess you can say we’ve gotten a bit tougher and stronger since the last time, but I think part of those part of me comes from you if that makes sense, especially all the sassy parts that I wouldn’t have ever thought to come out!! All our fears that we used to worry ourselves about, we have moments where they pop up, but you’ll be happy to know that instead of always wanting to avoid them and run away, we try and face them the best we can…..we come way out of our comfort zone, well we’re nearing the surface at least, we don’t swim the best, but we do our best to get to where we want to be!

Like I said we’re still learning as we go along, but that’s only part of the journey we’re on…..it’s just the beginning and we’re just getting started, but we’re flying little me, just like you always wanted and I promise that I’m going to keep doing my best to make you proud to be me older, because I just want you to be happy and I want you to know that the adventures you go, as new and hard as they may be at times and you may feel like you’re not getting where you need to, but know that you’re always going to get where you need even when you get lost a bit, sometime you have to get a little lost before you’re found! We’re always going to be okay, I know that because I got you and I know that when I’m lost, you’ll found a way to point me to where you feel it’s best to go so I know to keep going, because together is where the magic starts to happen!

All the feelings of being scared, but wanting to still give it a shot anyway, taking those risks, I never thought we’d get to that point, but I got to say that, doing those things, makes me happy, I still get nervous and scared, but I hope that you feel happy that we’re finally doing them…..there’s still some stuff that I know I want to tell you, but I know know how to express them properly just yet, so I will leave them for another time, the moment I find those words and I’m able to piece them all together you’ll know…..I just wanted to tell you that we’re okay and that we’re a little bit more happier than we were before…..I’ll see you soon!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Plans & Decisions…

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I’ve never been one for planning you know, which you probably do because I’ve mentioned it a few times on here, me and plans….don’t mix, however I’ve come to a point in my life where, I’m finding myself trying to plan for things which is usually not my department, but if the time has come for me to really sit and plan things properly then I’m going to do it! I’m going to put myself in an uncomfortable situation and face it the best way I can, scared and full of nerves combined!

Today has been a bit of a rough day for me, I’ll admit, I woke up with soooo many thoughts in my head and trying to sort them is completely new to me, I don’t normally sort my thoughts out well and so trying to do that today has got my head just full of aches lol…..but it’s okay because I know that there’s something that is very important I want to do and if I end up losing a little bit of sleep from it or feel myself getting slightly anxious on, I’m alright with that! Plans aren’t my normal cup of tea, but I’ve been trying to embrace it a little better instead of getting intimidated by them,

Plans are important they can help layout things so you don’t feel all over the place! Normally I like going with things naturally, but I’ve also been learning that sometimes you need to plan for things in order to work them out, if you just let things always go as they are, whatever is most important to you can get away from you and if that’s something you don’t want then you have to really work at them and take those steps to having them come to fruition and making them happen…..I’m always being told that life is short and you want to make sure you’re always giving attention to the things that matter most even if it seems hard, it can seem like you won’t get there, but if you want it enough and you believe in it enough….you already know that it can get there, you just have to take those steps to get them there!

Now with the things that I’m planning, there’s a few decisions that I’ve come to realize I need to face and deal with, even though some of the stuff may not be my favorite to want to deal with…..it’s up to me to take that breath, put on a brave face and do it anyway…..with planning you also have to make decisions tough or not, because that’s the only way for you to grow better and to experience things without all the limits of it all it all, you have to allow yourself to fly even if you are bat scared shit of it and yes I’m saying it just like that because it’s how I’m feeling it at the moment….if we continue to always keep ourselves on the ground, as safe as it may be sometimes you have to also fly or float otherwise you’ll always be there wishing you could soar that blue sky!

I recently went on a trip as you may know if you read that post and I was really nervous when I was waiting to go on the plane, but once I got on the plane…..I don’t know I was very happy, I smiled to myself knowing I did something that scared me and even when I was on the vacation I was on…..I was ready to go back on the plane……it just felt good and I really enjoyed myself knowing that I was ahead somewhere that I hadn’t been yet and that’s what I want to continue, I want to keep discovering, exploring and going on adventures…..but also I want to share that experience and so if I need to plan in order to do that, like I said…..I will!

The upcoming plan idea is to finally be able to see my love again and figure out how we can be together permanently, we both have wanted that for a good now sooo, I’m just hoping that it all goes well for us this time, which we’ll make sure it does!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Remembering Christina Grimmie (Blog Post)

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

To write or not to write that is the question isn’t it!? The answer, well….I’m not really sure, I want to write, it’s just trying to figure out what topic I’d like to discuss is where the issue is…..it’s not really an issue, I just don’t know what this post is going to be about, I’m hoping that as I’m writing this post, something will find a way to come up! In the meantime, if you don’t mind I’d like to share upon my latest Podcast episode with you, in the latest episode I discuss all about Christina Grimmie, who if you don’t know was a great and talented artist, however she passed on this very day, 5 years ago today…..

I’m not really sure why, but I felt like talking about her and so I recorded a whole episode yesterday, sharing my thoughts and just remembering her a bit, If you’d like to give it a listen you can check it out here: Remembering Christina Grimmie (Music, Personality ect…) You can also listen to it on Spotify!

I didn’t personally know Christina, but I used always watch her videos on Youtube, where she first showcased her talents and she was always a favorite channel of mine to watch, I always considered her voice to be very powerful, if you took a glimpse into her personality as she was talking and then you heard her sing right after, you wouldn’t believe how strong her voice to be, but she always had this something special with her, hard to explain, but you could always feel it and I guess that’s why a lot of people gravitated towards her and kept a know on her!

Now I wouldn’t call myself the biggest fan of Christina’s, but I really did like her a lot, I always loved hearing her sing and just getting to see her personality that she would share with everyone, after she started becoming more recognized for her talents, you knew that she was going to be something and she was, like I said I didn’t really follow her that much when she started becoming a bit more well known, but I would always check in here and there with her and her music and it’d always take me back to when she first started on Youtube or shall I say within her early years of Youtube, I don’t think I was around when she first, first started…..but I do remember the beginning parts to when she was just getting started if that makes sense!

Some of what I said here, is what I said in that episode, only there’s more within it…..if I’m being honest it’s been a very long time since I’ve really thought about Christina Grimmie, that being said, I never forgot about her, I still listen to a few of her songs and when I do I always think about how great she really was and how much I miss hearing her voice, she was a one of a kind, kind of person and I know that a lot of people that knew her and enjoyed her presence, be it music, personality and just her overall, will always miss her too and will never ever truly forget about her, she’ll always be remembered for the impact that she left in peoples lives, big or small!

Christina you will always be remembered and missed dearly, I know I already said it in my episode, but thank you for the time that you gave us while you were here, even when it may seem like we’ve forgotten there will always be something to help us remember you and everything that you left, you’re a soul that left too soon, but one that will always live on for many many lifetimes and wherever you are, I hope that you are happy and still sharing that wonderful and powerful voice of yours as well as your personality, rest well and know that those that still keep you in mind will always love you! Thank you for everything.

P.S.

Here’s one of my favorite cover songs by Christina, I love Jason Mraz’s version as well, I mean it is his song, but Grimmie’s version…. is definitely worth a listen: I Won’t Give Up (Christina Grimmie’s Version)

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa