Everything Changes Eventually (Nov 23, 2018)

Evening Pages (Nov 23, 2018): If it wasn’t so cold outside i’d be writing this in the backyard, instead i’m writing this in my room with the window open a bit, listening to everything that’s going on outside. I did go outside though, only for a bit of course, I walked around a bit in the backyard, holding my journal and pencil close to me……as I was back there, I couldn’t help, but look at everything, I looked at the grass, the trees, I looked at the birds that flew by, just everything. As I looked around, I thought about how everything eventually changes, the seasons are a clear example of that, we all know Winter doesn’t stay long, same goes for Autumn, Spring and Summer, eventually those seasons come to pass after they’ve welcome their stay. The seasons know they can’t stay for long, which is why when their time comes to move on, they don’t, well sometimes they tend to stay longer then they should and sometimes they’ll even switch in between each other, just so they don’t have to leave so soon, at least that’s how I like to see it. (End of Journal Entry) 

This was a small entry from my writing journal, that I wrote yesterday……there was more to it, but I just wanted to write that part here and see if I could explain something different on this post. I talked about observing things in my last post and it seems as though I find myself doing that a lot, as well as reflecting on everything. While I was outside in my backyard, I was thinking on how I remember being back there and it being summer and the way I was during that time, I was a complete mess those days………i’d go back and although I wouldn’t dare admit this on any other day, I would go back there to mainly reflect and think, but whenever I’d do that, I would find myself crying a lot of the time back there too……..it wasn’t because I wanted to, but anytime I felt I needed to let my emotions out, that’s where i’d go, not a lot of people know that, so for those reading this you guys are the first to know.

I was really stressed out most of the summer and still kinda stress now, although I try and keep myself calm when I feel myself stressing nowadays, it’s not always easy though. You might want to know the reasons why I was or why I would cry to myself a lot of the time, if I sat here and told you why we’d be here all day, because there was a lot of reasons to it, one of the main reasons though was, well I was stressed for one and also because I would constantly worry about everything, whether I was doing okay, how everything was gonna go…….everything, I still worry about those things now, but I try my best to minimize how much I worry. In those days though, I think the best thing to come from all of that, was that I had my blog and my journals to write in when I needed something and although it took me a while, writing everything out I was feeling in the best way that I could, really helped.

It’s crazy how everything can just go from one thing and then be something completely different the next time you encounter it………It’s like when you really look at things from a different perspective and everything, you tend to find out different things then what you already know and in those things that you know, you find that it doesn’t matter what you do, some things are bound to change and no amount of trying to fix it is gonna work………but even then, it’s all about trying your best and doing your best to keep going, no matter the pain, stress, worry, uncertainty, all of it…….you just gotta keep going, even on those days where you aren’t sure whether you want to or not, just keep going. No matter what kind of changes take place, just try and go with it as best as you can, even if they aren’t the ideal changes that you wanted………..eventually things change and it’s just something we have to accept.   

My quote of the day:  You know I always loved Autumn, there’s just somethings about it, maybe it’s all the colorful leaves that lay on the ground or it could be the way the trees go from being brightly orange with a mix of red and yellow leaves attached………to nothing at all. It’s also the feel of it too.

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Jonah Pettrich on Unsplash

Mood: I’m Feeling Both Calm & Happy Today (Nov 12, 2018)

How’s your day going everyone I hope you’re all doing well, right now it’s around 1pm close to 1:30pm where i’m at and I don’t really know why, but today i’m feeling really good, i’m happy which………yeah, I don’t know i’m just very happy right now, which is good. I’ve been smiling to myself for a long while now which doesn’t happen very often but i’m gonna take it and just really enjoy this because……..yeah it’s been a while, I was just posting both blog post from yesterday on my social media and when I went to post my 4 months of me blogging post it was like……….I don’t know I still can’t believe that it’s been 4 months since I started this blog, now I know that doesn’t seem like a very long time, but at the same time it feels like it’s been a very long time.

To me it feels like i’ve been blogging for longer than that, even though I just recently started not too long ago which is weird, but looking back on it………I don’t know it’s crazy like wow…….to think I came here thinking that I was just gonna use this to express my emotions, but then after a while of doing this, I was able to add some fun stuff to it, or at least what I think is pretty fun and interesting, ummm but yeah……..i’m just really happy today I don’t really have much that I want to say, i’m just feeling happy and good.

You know, it’s crazy, because when I was trying to figure out what to write, normally I sit and ponder for a very long time and get a little frustrated because i’m trying to come up with something, however today was different, I mean although I still wasn’t sure what it was that I wanted to write……I didn’t stress out about it, which i’m glad, because I don’t like stressing even though it can happen more often then I’d like, but that’s not gonna happen today, today i’m gonna take in and really enjoy this feeling of feeling good, does that make sense I hope so haha, but yeah, I feel good and that’s all I can really say at the moment.

I hope that you guys are doing well and you’re having a good day, if not I hope that you find something to brighten up your mood to where you feel better, if it’s tough today, just do your best to keep going and know that whatever it is that is bothering you, stressing you out or is just too much, it’ll get better and everything is gonna be alright, no worries.

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

 

Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

Autumn Leaves (Inspired By An Ed Sheeran Song)

Hey everyone I know it’s been a while, I hope you’re all doing well, today’s blog post maybe very short or a little long i’m not sure, i’ll try my best to make sure it isn’t too long, since we’re in the month of October I wanted to talk upon the season of Autumn also known as Fall since we’re now in it, we all know that Autumn is the season of change and just like the seasons change so do us humans, we all grow up to be a certain way, but we all know that we aren’t always gonna be the same as we once were.

No matter how hard we try to, there’s always gonna be some part of us that breaks away from certain things, the same way leaves break and fall off a tree when it’s the ending of Summer and the beginning of Fall, I guess what i’m saying is we’re like a tree kinda, we start off as a seed planted in soil and as we grow we start to gain a little personality, we start to become interested in things and each interest that we take upon, become our leaves, if that makes sense.

milkovi-475023-unsplashPhoto by MILKOVÍ on Unsplash

Now the leaves that we start with, aren’t going to be the leaves we always keep with us because as we know leaves don’t stay on a tree for long, eventually they fall off one by one, as those leaves fall off and float down to the ground we can’t really stick them back onto our branches because once they fall off they fall off, with leaves we can have so many, but eventually those leaves will fall off, whether we want them to or not. Sometimes we don’t even realize that some of our leaves have fallen off, it just happens so quickly to where we don’t even have time to react to it.

When we do realize one of our leaves have fallen off though, we take it in, especially if it was something super important to us at the time. Now leaves don’t have to only be about our hobbies or things we’re interested in, sometimes leaves can be friends that we keep or family members even and sometimes we have to realize that those things too can fall off, some mutually, some expectedly, we’ll even have those leaves that just aren’t good for us anymore so we as the tree will shake them off and sometimes they’ll just fall off on their own, because maybe it’s just meant to be that way.

Leaves fall off trees for a reason and they grow new ones every spring for a reason and that’s because they’re meant to fall off, so they can make room for new and improved ones. So when our leaves fall off it’s only because we’re growing and trying to improve ourselves, now with that happening it’s not always gonna be easy, although I just compared us to trees and everything, we’re not trees, we’re humans and us as humans, we’re gonna have a few leaves fall off us and it may hurt when that happens, you may feel bad about it happening, you’ll have times where you won’t even know that it happened, it’ll just dawn on you when you least expect it…….

but when that happens, when you find that a few of your leaves have fallen off, know that it’s okay to reflect on it if you need to, you might not quite understand it, because not everything has a clear understanding, but sometimes it’s not having that clear understanding to where you oddly understand it.

annie-spratt-419267-unsplashPhoto by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Just because old leaves break off, it doesn’t mean that new leaves won’t grow. Sometimes we sit and wonder why certain things happen, why we fall out with certain people and when those kind of things come into our mind, we really go through them and maybe we shouldn’t do that so much, once in a while yeah sure, maybe you need a clear understanding, but when it comes to other things that we can’t seem to wrap our heads around, maybe that’s because there’s nothing to wrap our heads around.

Sometimes it just happens and we don’t always know why, but we shouldn’t dwell on it, sometimes it’s just best to accept it and move on, it doesn’t mean you can’t feel a certain way about it, but once you accept the fact that, that leaf fell off, just think to yourself that maybe that was for a reason, whatever reason that may be.

It may take time to accept it depending on how much of an impact a situation, a relationship or even just something you once took an interest in was to you, but eventually you’ll come to terms that maybe it was for the best, when that happens don’t you feel bad about it, because you held on to those leaves for as long as you could, but now we have to make room for new and better things for us and we should always want better things for ourselves.

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

 

Featured Photo By: Annie Spratt on Unsplash