Look At Those Eyes….

Song Of The Day: Look At Those Eyes By Alexz Johnson (this is one of my favorite songs from of course one of my favorite artists Alexz Johnson, love her!! The title of this post as you can see was inspired by it!!)

They say when you look into the eyes of someone, not only do you see the window to their soul, but you also get to really see their true emotions and how their actually feeling. We always try and hide the way we feel and that’s because we try not to let people know that were struggling, it’s odd though, we’re fine with showing off the happy parts of our lives and of ourselves, but when it comes to the parts we think no ones going to want to see, we hide it and try to lock it away so we’re not asked questions.

Once we find ourselves on the low side of town, we automatically feel as though we have to discard it and put up this front and pretend that everything is okay and that we’re fine…..that we don’t have any issues and were happy, but when you really get a good look, you see that’s not the truth, that’s why we tend to avoid people, because not only are we afraid that we’re going to ruin people’s moods with our own,

but we know that if people spend even the smallest amount of time with us and catch even a glimpse into our eyes…..they will know the truth and see all the emotions and struggles we tried so desperately to keep hidden away and having people see that, makes us want to crawl away somewhere and you may ask why, it’s because we’re ashamed and embarrassed to have to let those things show, the thought of a million questions and worrying…..

It’s for that reason we avoid, it’s for that reason, we think staying to ourselves is much better than being around people, at least when we’re alone we don’t have to worry about feeling uncomfortable with ourselves, because we’ve gotten so used to the feeling. If we’re around people when we aren’t feeling our best it’s like we have to pretend again, we have to go on stage and play this part that we really aren’t familiar with, but we make sure to sell the hell out of it as best as we can, sometimes it works…..

Other times not as much, that’s only because when you have people around you that know you, it’s hard to fool them, unless your acting skills are on a high that day….but everything you need or want to know are in the way of a persons eyes, some are lost, sad, angry…..

Then you have some that are full of light and are actually fine, other times though, when you’re looking into someones eyes you’ll find that they just don’t know what to do and are just trying to get things right someway, even though they have no clue what they’re doing.

P.S. This was a journal entry I wrote a few weeks ago, I felt this to be appropriate to share today, if you have any thoughts share it down below!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Reading Between The Lines….(July 27, 2019)

Sometimes the things we say, are misinterpreted or aren’t as direct as we’d like them to be, even when the things we may be saying are literally said to be direct and taken in properly, does that make sense!? I hope so……

In case you’re still confused to what I mean with that well, no worries, i’ll try and explain it in the best way that I can……as the title says reading between the lines…..what does that mean you might wonder or maybe you know exactly what it means……

The way I see it, is when you’re being told something or you say something to someone else or maybe you’re reading something (I know that’s a lot of somethings in one sentence…..sorry….) that has a specific, message, advice or maybe even someth……I mean, maybe there’s a thing that you wouldn’t see as important, but is important for you to know, even though it’s being presented in a subtle kind of way (I think I nailed that okay…..hopefully)

It doesn’t matter how much you may try and get someone to see what you mean or are trying to get them to understand, sometimes, it still gets overlooked and you could even say it directly to how you mean it, yet you’ll probably end up facepalming yourself because the understanding of it, is still unclear to them or you maybe even sometimes, which is frustrating!!

Just when you think you maybe getting through and everything is sorted and properly understood the way you wanted it to be…..it always ends up being just a little bit off the center in some sort……sometimes you may think screaming it out will help the understanding of it better, but that’s not always the case, when that happens you sometimes think, somethings missing and that maybe you didn’t say it clear enough even when you did…..

Am I making sense here, feel free to let me know if i’ve lost you…..

I don’t know how else to explain it or how else to get it to be clearer, i’ve tried all these different ways of expressing it, but I just don’t know if it’s actually being understood, it’s said to be, but it’s really not when, what is being said in regards of the problem within a situation keeps getting overlooked and avoided as not being important enough………

I mean I know there’s other things to it as well and i’m working on it to fix it this time around, because I know it’s becoming a big issue and I really don’t want it to continue being that way because it’s not really fair for it to be that way…….in order for things to move forward, you have to allow yourself to move forward in the way that you’re wanting to, which can be hard, but at the same time beneficial and good too……

Overall, here’s to hoping that the reading between the lines here sits in this time, otherwise we’re going to be reading the same chapter over and over and to tell you the truth, it got old a long while ago, a new and different chapter to read and enjoy would really be nice, hope you got all that……

So what’s some of your takes on reading between the lines, is it similar to my definition or is yours a bit different, feel free to share if you like!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Opening Up…. (July 19, 2019)

Opening up can seem like a real task at times, you wouldn’t think it’d be as hard as it is, but when you’re someone who has a hard time really letting out your feelings and emotions you find that it’s not always easy to do.

It’s quite nerve wrecking actually, trying to get out just an ounce of words to form out of your mouth, sometimes you find yourself just staring out into space because you’re trying to find the right set of words hoping that what you’re going to say is going to make sense or come out right.

It’s why a lot of us, most of the time don’t really say anything if we’re feeling something and sometimes it’s because of the feeling it brings inside, but holding on to the emotions that we feel for too long, can sometimes wear you down, when it’s stuck floating all around in your head……

Opening up can be hard to do, but sometimes expressing our feelings, even though it doesn’t seem like it, can make a bit of a difference while also making you feel a little better in the process.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Expression…..(July 18, 2019)

Some may think that this is the same thing as feeling and emotions, but it’s not it’s just a way of letting out what you’re feeling, it can also just be a regular expression, for example, when you say “i’m so hungry I can eat a whole truck load of tacos” it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to eat a truck load of tacos, you’re just expressing how hungry you are, you might not actually even be that hungry, it just feels like you are.

We express what we feel and what we’re thinking, sometimes we can be a little too blunt with it, but for some it works that way, if we’re feeling something strongly, we’ll say it how we feel it or how we’re thinking it, although sometimes we’re meant to watch how we say things because it can be taken a whole different way to how we’re actually meaning for it to sound…..which can be very hard to do.

Expressing ones feelings, thoughts and or emotions can be very tricky at times, because naturally we want to say things the way we feel it, which is why if you notice, whenever we are feeling a certain way, we go into our natural fight or flight mode……naturally we want to let out everything we’re feeling right then and there, but our conscience tugs us back to help us approach those emotions and feelings in the best way possible.

Sometimes that doesn’t always occur and we end up saying things that are either out of context or the wrong way to how we wanted it to come out and that has to do with the way our thoughts are, we think of all these different scenarios and ways to approach a situations, but when it comes to actually being front and center to it, our minds start to scramble again, putting us back to square one causing us say and mix up everything.

It can be a real pain when that happens because you know what you want to say, yet you find yourself saying something completely different to what you thought about originally and that’s why if you do find yourself wanting to express something, but you feel as though it may come out wrong and not make much sense, you’re meant to pick your words carefully and that is a task on it own, if everyone was able to say what it was they wanted without any consequences, I think it’d make people understand each other and their feelings more, but it would also still hurt people in a way.

Just because I said there would be no consequences doesn’t mean that people’s feelings wouldn’t still be hurt, they’d see things differently and understand what is being said, but again it would still hurt a little and that’s why majority of the time, people don’t say anything because they don’t want to hurt others feelings, but sometimes you have to rip the band-aid off a little even if it comes out in a way you tried many times to avoid……

How we express and the way we express it can sometimes feel like walking on a mine field, because you never know where you’re going to step with it, but holding our breath and being afraid to express our true feelings shouldn’t be something we do either, we all have a voice and a right to say how we’re really feeling and thinking, it’s not always easy…….

It can be one of the hardest things to do, but sometimes we need it, so that way we don’t suppress it, doing that only starts to build anger, resentment, stress and a whole lot of deadly emotions that don’t need to be kept in.

Take it from someone who’s emotions and feelings are way beneath the surface that even when it tries to come out, it ends up just going back and hiding away again, sometimes it needs a bit of work and sometimes it just ends up coming out naturally…..it’s a win lose situation with expression, but if done in the best way possible or decently or I guess in the only way you’re able to, it’s not always all that bad.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Feelings….. (July 18, 2019)

We all have them, sometimes we wish we didn’t, but then we wouldn’t really be human would we!? Here’s the thing……sometimes we let our own feelings get in the way of how other people feel, we may not try to do it intentionally, but sometimes we end up doing it unconsciously knowing creating a bit of a mess……although we have our own issues and problems to sort through, doesn’t mean we should ignore everyone’s else’s.

It’s okay to take time to work through your own feelings and emotions, but when it’s the only thing we focus on, we tend to fail at acknowledging how someone else maybe feeling, which is important because we don’t know half of the things that people go through or deal with alone.

We say we listen and that we understand but do we really!? Believe it or not besides communication, listening and understanding (as well as other things) are the two main things that are needed in order to build a healthy and better relationship with someone, whether it’s romanic, non romantic, a friendship kind of relationship whatever, it’s important to take others emotions and feelings into account…..

Really thinking about it, it’s no wonder, most people separate from other people or keep things to themselves……we as humans aren’t the best people these days, especially when it comes to communicating, listening and understanding someone, we’re so wrapped up in ourselves and our own life, that we will just brush off anything that doesn’t revolve around our own feelings which can be quite selfish at times.

We shouldn’t be telling people to go away because we have our own things to worry about or we just aren’t feeling what their feeling, sometimes we need people or we just want to talk to someone, whether it’s a serious topic or a random one, telling someone to go away or to stop talking, causes a lot of the issues that we encounter in day to day life…….

When I was younger I used to get told all the time to stop talking so much or that something else was more important than expressing something that I wanted to express, so I know what that feels like…..the feeling of wanting to talk to someone, but being told to go away or being ignored when your saying something, it hurts….

It’s no wonder people keep things to themselves these days, I mean really who can they talk to if people don’t want to listen!? It’s why most of us develop or have some kind of mental illness, we bottle things up because we feel we have to or we think if we talk about what we’re feeling no ones going to really listen or understand anyway so why even bother!?

A lot of the time we don’t even take mental illnesses serious, even though we should because it’s one of the things that can be harmful to someones life, if not taken seriously enough, that kind of thing should never be ignored, but overall dealing with feelings, stress, thoughts anything…..

It’s not just us dealing with it, there’s always someone going through a rougher time, dismissing or skipping over how someone else feels, will only cause them to closed themselves in more and not express how they’re really feeling and if they do try to express their emotions and thoughts, they’re going to think twice about it because they don’t know if it’s okay and that they should or if it’s just going to be a waste of their time.

People can be very stubborn and not realize that, they’re not the only ones that hurt, we don’t take in other peoples feelings the way we should and it’s because of that, people will tend to distance themselves or drift away, it’s not always because they want to, sometimes it’s because they feel they can’t talk to anyone or that no ones going to listen, other times it’s fear of being rejected or that their just bothering people…….

Sometimes the best way to really know how someone is feeling is to ask them directly and not in a forceful way, genuinely ask them, how their doing and if they’re okay and want to talk, if they don’t want to talk right away give them a bit of time and try and ask again later, sometimes you have to go out of your way in order to really understand someone one, even if they don’t want to talk, try to listen and understand how their feeling,

Without criticizing them and trying to add your input in, if their expressing why it is they feel the way they do and are talking to you about it, listen!! If they say “this is how I feel and i’m telling you this is why i’m feeling it” don’t say “okay this is how your feeling, this is what I think” (sorry to say it this way, but it’s the only way it’s going to come out )

DON’T ADD YOUR INPUT……unless they ask for it and if or when they do, try and be understanding with it, help them sort through their feelings and or thoughts and help them come up with a solution to help them get through it. When expressing our thoughts and feelings, all we want and need is someone to just listen and understand…..

Just like when we are needing for someone to listen to us, we should be able to do the same for other people who are needing it, we should never make someone feel like they can’t talk about their own issues or express themselves, especially when their trying to express on something serious.

Whether we like what we’re hearing or not, we shouldn’t go shutting down other people’s emotions, we’re human and one of the things we are born with is compassion and if we can’t bother to really hear someone out when they’re begging for it secretly or desperately wanting someone to talk to, that says a lot about who we are and it’s not good……

We all have feelings and stresses in life, but we can still take time to try and get to know, as well as listen and understand someone.

Instead of judging someone and assuming all kinds of things and that, ASK!! if you really want to know or are curious on how someones doing or what’s going on in their life, just ask them, you might get a lot more out of them than asking someone else about it……

P.S. Sorry if this came out jumping at you haha, didn’t mean for that, I just had a lot to get out and this was the only way I guess I was able to get it out, hope you’re all doing well and having a good day!!

All The Love ❤ < 3

~Lexa~

1 Year Of Blogging With AJ Gifs Feat Paige (A Little Late I Know, July 11, 2019)

So we’ve made it, it’s now been officially a year since I first created this blog!! Yaaay i’d say a little celebration’s in order, wouldn’t you say!?

It’s not really a big one, it’s just me sharing one of my favorite gifs and the closes reaction to a yaaay that I could find and when I say find, I mean I personally searched for this, not this gif in particular though, more like (AJ Lee excited gifs) I wanted something that fit, but also something that said “I know i’m late with this post, but yaaay we made a year on this blog”

I’d say this one wins!! As I was saying though, yes i’m aware that it’s the 13th and not the 11th, originally I wanted to write something the day of it being a year, but I ended up having a bit of a busy day Thursday last week, so I didn’t really get the chance to really write anything (I went to the same place 3 times at different hours in one day)

Even though I didn’t write the day of it being a year, doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about writing anything for it. I mean I was thinking about how exactly I was going to start off the post as I was coming back from picking up milk from the store a few days ago, yeah I know weird…..

I even kinda wrote a draft posts in one of my journals just to kinda have an idea on what I was going for, but we all know our thoughts change and we never really go based off our first reaction or idea…….unless it’s one that sticks with you for a while then you might go with the reaction.

So 1 year of blogging, what’s it been like you might ask!? That’s a question, no i’m kidding…..see I would say it’s been great, easy and that I rarely had an issue writing, but that wouldn’t be quite accurate would it now!?

Everyone has a different kind of blogging experience and for me, my blogging experience it’d say……has it’s days……sometimes I feel great and happy with the posts I publish and share and other times I tend to struggle on what to write about (happens quite a lot actually)

Most of the time I never really know how my posts are going to come across if that makes any sense!? Blogging and to be honest i’m sure we’ve all been down this road at some point, we all know that blogging is tough and it can be very discouraging at times as well……

I can’t tell you how many times i’ve questioned my own content as well as myself, sometimes i’ll write something and worry about whether I should’ve posted it or not or if I should delete it when no reads it (I never do) but I also had to let myself know that not everything you post is going to be read and if it is, not everyone is going to react to it…….

I still have those moments at times, but I think we all do, I don’t think that it goes away, but I try to look at it as,”okay so this one didn’t do that well, we’ll just try again in our next post” I think looking at it in that way helps you to not give in to the negative feelings you feel when that happens.

Now I don’t normally express this much, but there have been a lot of moments where I wondered whether or not I should even continue blogging and whether or not my writing is even good enough…..

It’s not the first time i’ve felt like that though, it happens with pretty much everything that I start, I could be doing well with it, but then feel as though, it’s not good enough and so i’d stop……..I never really understood why that was, but it was just a recurring thing all the time, i’d start something, do well with it, feel it wasn’t good enough then stop…..*Repeat process *

I’ve backed out of a lot of things because of that pretty much and that’s due to not really having a lot of believance in myself (i’m sure believance isn’t a word, but I wanted to use it) I still struggle with that actually, but I try to pull through that as best as I can and not have it be something else I stop before it can really get anywhere, that’s why I try to mix things up on here when it comes to my writing……originally when I started my blog,

it was meant to be a place where I could express myself and get my thoughts out of my head, I was feeling a lot of things and wanted to kinda let some of those emotions out, thinking back on it however, i’m not really sure if I ever actually express the emotions I was feeling then……!?

I’m not really the best when it comes to talking about my actual feelings, i’m sure most of you already know that though……I can talk about anything else (depending on the topic that is) but try and ask me how i’m feeling and believe me you’ll be here for a while…..it actually frustrates people whenever they ask me what i’m feeling and i’m unable to answer quick enough, it’s why I don’t really bother on really expressing much.

Along the way of using this as a place to leave my thoughts we’ll say….I wanted to add a bit more to it, so I ended up adding a few of my interests as topics to write about, things that I knew or felt I could write about, favorite games, music, things like that…..i’m not really good at sticking to one topic if i’m being honest and that’s not only with my writing, but also with my personality……kinda, i’m constantly thinking of things,

So adding a bit more variety i’d say has helped me really stick with this whole blogging thing. Before I continue on, I wouldn’t actually have this blog if it wasn’t for a good friend of mine, her name is Ray and I always mention this because it was her that shared WordPress with me and helped me set it up so I always have to thank her for that one and I always will…..

Thanks Ray!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Back to the rest of this post though, I gotta say with blogging, sometimes I don’t always know what i’m doing, it can seem really complicated at times because it always seems like there’s a certain way you need to write when it comes to blogging, which can be a little frustrating, if you feel your writing isn’t the best…….not to compare here or anything, but whenever I read other blogs, I always admire the different writing styles each person has…..

Makes you sometimes wish you could write the way half of the other blogs do, most of those writers know the kind of content they want and how exactly to write on it, they just know how to really express…..but thinking that way in terms of comparing your writing style to others I guess isn’t the best way, because again everyone’s writing style is different, if everyone wrote the same it wouldn’t really be interesting would it!?

I’d be stupid to think each writer had it all figured out, when it came to what they wanted their blogs to represent or just how they wanted it to reflect them if that makes sense!?

With me and my blogging experience I still wonder on how I want my blog site to reflect me…..so far it’s uncategorized, even though there’s some categories to choose from…..it’s still pretty randomized and kinda everywhere, which I guess in a way is me in real life (just got a tad anxious writing that haha, but i’m alright)

I don’t know…..maybe I don’t need to really know exactly what i’m doing when blogging, I mean each of us started our blogs for different reasons, be it to use it as a personal outlet for our thoughts, to share certain interests, moments or maybe even to share photos and that, we don’t always need a specific theme to focus on I guess, sometimes variety is good, it can bring in different people and keep things interesting as well!!

What may not be good enough to us, might not be the same way for others, maybe my uncategorized content is my thing, maybe it brings out and suits my writing style the best who knows…..so far it’s been alright, i’ll have my best days, but I know i’ll also have my not so best days and that’s okay.

Blogging shouldn’t be all about comparing or feeling like you have to be the best in the way you’re writing, in all reality, we’re all really just writers, but in different ways, some of us are and have a bit more expertise than others, but it doesn’t mean the rest of us aren’t good….We all just have a different way of sharing, some of us like to be informative, some creative, personal, you name it……so some of us are unlisted or uncategorized,

It’s not a bad thing, it just means we can rotate through any topic we’re feeling, maybe my writing style isn’t like everyone else’s, but it’s how I write and even if I have days where I question it or myself, I should be proud and happy about it…..there’s no limit to a topic with it, so i’ll keep picking ones that I feel good about and hopefully it’s does it’s best to connect alright.

For those who have enjoyed and come back to my a bit everywhere content, I just want to say a HUGE thank you for it, knowing that some of you really do like what I write, means the absolute world to me!! This blog has grown a little bit more each time since I created it and for that I thank you as well.

Whether you’ve connected with me personally, not like personal, personal, but you know what I mean, whether you’ve liked my posts or have just taken the time to read them and enjoyed my site in general, I just want to let you know that I really do appreciate it and that i’m thankful and grateful not just for you guys, but also for giving me a chance and letting me express myself in the way I know how…..even on the days I struggle, it means a lot.

I don’t know if any of this is going to make much sense, I honestly didn’t expect this to take as long as it did to write, i’ve written and looked this over so many different times, changed a couple of things, added a bit more to it….

I really tried to lay out everything in the best way possible so, hopefully it came across alright……anyway that is all I have for you, thanks once again for all the support and for reading my content, I hope you’re all doing well and having a good day, afternoon and or night!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

P.S. I wrote this originally on the 13th, but took a bit more time with it then I expected, which is why you’re reading it now…….also if you’re wondering why I added AJ Lee gifs for this post, I don’t know I just did……

She’s just a favorite of mine so I figured why not, it was only meant to be one, but I ended up adding a few more.

Let’s Talk Procrastination (July 10, 2019)

Originally Written July 9th

Procrastination can seem all well and great, but the more you put something off, the more you’ll wish you would’ve done it earlier, take homework for example why were most of us so keen on putting it off so much!? I mean yeah I get it, it wasn’t always fun and it was a bit annoying having to bring home work, I mean we could’ve easily just done it in school.

Maybe that’s why people went to study hall (study period for some) or tried doing their work during lunch hour so they wouldn’t have to worry about doing the work at home, but even if we had to take work back home, what was so wrong with getting it done when we knew we had it!? Why did we always make a big fuss and always see it as some chore all the time!?

Had we just gotten it done when we needed it to be, I don’t think the stress with having to do it would’ve been so bad, but because it’s easier to put things off for later, we don’t think of it as being that big of a deal, because in our minds if we don’t get to it now, we’ll get to it eventually….

Only when it does come around to “eventually” by that time we would’ve already forgotten about it, at least until it starts to kick in that we were meant to do something and later remember what that something was, which then causes us to go into panic mode, to where we then stress even more about it…..yeah okay, we probably would’ve still stressed about it,

However our stress levels would’ve most likely been way lower if we got it all out the way first, instead of dealing with it last……but this isn’t just about homework i’m talking about, that was just an example, procrastinating things in your day to day life also leaves you to stress……

We all know life is already stressful no matter how we may try to look at it, so why add more stress then the stresses life already has to it!? We’ve all procrastinated, i’ll admit i’m probably one of the biggest procrastinators you’ll ever know and or meet, which is why i’m writing about this……

Well that and I heard someone mention homework off a video I watched yesterday and it had me thinking about why it is that we always used to or still try our best to put it off so much…….

We may think it’s not a problem and that it’s fine to procrastinate and sometimes it is when you know you need a little break off something, that being said however, it can get pretty stale after a while if you procrastinate too much (believe me) eventually all that leaving for later will start to weigh on you, causing much more to be done than what you originally started with, leaving you to feel way more overwhelmed, which will have you really wanting to put things off for sure.

Now you’re left mentally and sometimes even emotionally and physically crashing all the time……my point is…..maybe if we procrastinated a little less, we probably would get so much more done, as well as feel so much better for it, knowing we got to it earlier instead of waiting to do it later.

By doing that it gives us more time to relax, getting rid of most of the worries and stresses in our minds……I must say though, some people do thrive more on leaving things for later, but to each their own I guess, as long as it’s in a healthy way, I guess it’s alright…..

P.S. Before you say it, no I was not procrastinating on this post, I was just looking it over…..an extra day…..

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~