I’m Just Thinking Out Loud….

Good afternoon! Hope your Tuesday is treating you all well, Summer is literally close by anyone else feeling this heatwave of sorts, I’m telling you Summer….not my thing! Besides that, let’s have a chat in writing shall we!? It’s been a bit, well more like 5 days, but whose keeping count right!? You know one thing I can appreciate with writing is that when you need to find words…..you’re able to take your time with it, there isn’t as much pressure with it compared to if you were podcasting an episode or making videos…..not saying I don’t like doing those things, I do it helps me to express differently and forces me to put myself out there in different ways, which is something I am both used to and not used to, however when I really need to think on things and I know I need the pressure lowered it really helps to just sit back and take my time to write about it!

I struggle with words most times, although I love to talk, seriously I enjoy talking especially when the topic is something that means a lot to me, BUT…..that being said…..really talking about things….I always have a hard time no matter how much I try and prepare for it! In order for me to really find my words…..I need to think deeply on it and having this blog and being able to say the things that can be hard to say talking wise really means a lot, if this was a live writing and talking….there would be a lot of ums and long pauses, which I try my hardest to not do…but it’s just something that is apart of me, it’s how I express and I’m trying to get used to that when expressing verbally, along with trying to keep those ums and long pauses short…still got a long way to go on that, but I’m sure I’ll get there!

I don’t think on it often, but in this moment, right here, right now…..I am very and extremely grateful to have this blog to be my voice on days when I am not sure what to say or when I feel I need a moment to gather my thoughts, I am a very expressive person, that has a hard time expressing, which is the weirdest thing lol! If you were to just see me at a natural state and just allowed me to chat about whatever comes to mind…..you’d see how expressive I actually am,

That being said, I’m still getting used to being my naturally expressive self that’s why I have so many different things that I do, from this blog to my still figuring out Podcast and soon probably something a lot different than what I’m used to, but that I feel would help to really be comfortable with myself, sometimes I wonder if I’m too weird for for people and if I should tone it down and that’s me being completely and from the heart honest, you can’t see me, but I’m trying my best to keep from getting emotional here, but it’s the truth!

It’s the truth that I’ve never really been open with, I always express how you should just be yourself, but honestly….I have a hard time fully being myself and I’m trying to become comfortable with being who I am and who I’m still discovering I am, even at the age of 26 lol, but I’m hoping I will eventually get it *literally scratched it* I have faith that eventually I’ll learn to be okay with it!

Now when it comes to how I choose to showcase my voice…..I choose to show it and embrace it in many different ways, be it blogging on it, stepping out of comfort expressing it on my Podcast and even in front of a camera as camera shy as I maybe at time, somedays I don’t mind it, but somedays I do, Just like Scott James once sang in his song Speck In The Spectrum “Part of me, likes this…..and part of me doesn’t mind it! All the rest is a Speck in the Spectrum, of a world that makes no sense to me”

Not sure what made me quote that song, I can’t share it anyway as he’s put is old songs private on his Youtube, but it was the first thing that came to mind, one of my favorites by him! Those are my thoughts though, don’t know where they came from, I just started writing and it just naturally came out, I didn’t even know I was writing it until I wrote it!

If you would like to get to know me better or my ways of expressing better I recently recorded an episode on my Podcast similar to this topic, you can listen to it here: Finding Ones Voice (Just Chatting) You can check it out on Anchor or Spotify whatever suits you!

Thank you for reading this post and just for being here in general, very much appreciated!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

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