Happy Friday! I hope everyone has been well and that you’ve been enjoying the new month! I’m a little surprised knowing that we’re in June now, normally when a new month rolls around I just accept that it’s here and leave it be, but we’re really in the month of June…..and we’re at the second week of it at that…..It’s a little weird because it sorta feels like mid June then beginning of it, which technically we are nearing the middle of June so i’m not too far off with how this month is feeling.
We’ve come to another end of the week, part of it went pretty quickly, honestly I think the only day that felt very long was Tuesday other than that, this week pretty much flew by, maybe it’s just me, I don’t know the second week of June has felt somewhat weird, not in a bad way, but it did feel weird. You know i’m just going to be honest here, I’m not really sure what exactly I’m trying to write here in this post…..I felt the need to write something, however I don’t necessarily know what I was feeling to write, so there’s a good chance that this post won’t really be that long, sorry about that….I’m not going to count this one as my monthly chat where I express how the month as been and how it’s going, if I am to be honest….I sorta woke up feeling….how to express it!?
Maybe a little unmotivated as well as not even sure what I’m feeling to be fair, sometimes I’ll just have random moments where I don’t feel like I’m there, like I know what I’m doing and I can see myself doing certain things, but I’m just not 100 percent there and when I run into those kind of days, I try to figure out what it is that I’m feeling and sometimes I can pin point it a little, but there’s other days where I find myself having somewhat of a hard time figuring it out! I’m not exactly sad and I’m not angry, but I’m also not quite up there energy wise…..
If I had to give it a percetage, I would say….45/50 ish percent on the mood scale, I feel fine, but not fine! I don’t usually express on my moods honestly like that, but I’m hoping that it’s okay to feel that way and be open about it….I’d say that it’s okay that I am feeling that way, because as human beings we don’t always allow ourselves to feel the things that we’re feeling in the moment, especially when we know we aren’t feeling the greatest or we’re not exactly feeling like ourselves and maybe that’s why we give ourselves a hard time, we’re always trying to push those unwanted feeling away and just pretend that we’re okay when we know that we’re not really doing okay and it’s completely alright to not feel 100 percent all the time!
At the end of the day, we’re all human, we all feel and sometimes our moods are just not there and that’s okay, we need those not so great days in order to continue to be our best selves, it’s not always the good moments that allows us to be who we are, it’s important that we have crappy/shitty days, we need to feel those things in order to grow, without those not so great days we wouldn’t be 100 percent us, we’d only be half of that, it takes a lot of strength to be honest about how you’re really feeling even if you aren’t feeling great, now you don’t need to say it out loud, but it is important that you at least acknowledge your emotions, especially when you don’t want to, because when you find yourself not wanting to be bothered with your own thoughts and feelings that’s when you should check in the most!
Again you don’t have to express it out loud if you don’t feel like you want to, but just identify it, see it, feel it and allow them to be! If you want to express those feelings you can, only you will know whether you feel like letting it out or not, but if you don’t know that it’s okay too, when you’re ready you will, but don’t push them away from yourself if you need a moment, be sure to take that moment and remember that this too shall past and eventually you’ll start feeling okay!
I honestly didn’t expect to write this much, I really believed it was going to be a short one, but apparently I needed to say this….so if by any chance someone right now happens to come across this post and you find any of this helpful, I’m glad to hear it! I hope that you’re doing alright and enjoying this Friday and if you’re not I hope that you have a well deserved relaxed weekend and I really hope this upcoming week is a little better for you! Take care ^_^
Happy Sunday! As you may all already know, we’ve come to the last 2 days of the month of May and boy have a lot of things been happening this month, I’d like to say that, it’s been more eventful during the months of May then the other months that have gone by, but then again, every month has it’s moments, don’t you think!? I’m now 27 thanks to May and no my birthday is not today, it was earlier into the month, I don’t normally speak on when my birthday arrives, because I just don’t like to, let’s just say I’m not one to like too much spotlight on me!
I’d like to think my birthday was somewhat decent this year, I didn’t really do too much, but I did sorta enjoy myself leading up to my birthday…..I was kind of nervous and then it came and yeah I didn’t know what to feel, if i’m being honest I still don’t know what to feel…..it’s a little hard to believe that I’m already 27, but we all know that eventually we’ll just keep getting older even when we don’t actually feel it! If anyone is even curious at all to what I think, I feel that this month has taught me a lot, to explain it would be very difficult on my part, but if I had to try and put it into words the best way that I can…..one of the things May has had me really look at is, how ready you actually are, plus really seeing the kind of growth and transformation one has made…..
Does any of that makes sense!? I’m not sure, but I did say I would try and explain it the best way I could didn’t I, well that’s my way of explaining it, I felt a lot of emotions this month and excuse me for a moment because I’m going to do something I never actually do too often and that’s being honest with you all…..I like to keep my emotions and thoughts to myself usually because to express them out loud, is not only very and extremely difficult for me, but you might as well knowing everything about me! You see if I were to just say everything that’s in my heart and in my head….I think I would be in a lot of trouble because I know that there would be a hand full of people that would not be happy with me…
So as much as I struggle to keep everything under control and away from the mic when asked what it is you feel….I do my best to swallow all those things and keep them from escaping my mouth because I don’t know how else to do it, but I’d like to think I’ve improved at making people believe that it’s all good under the surface, but I’m also a little aware that people aren’t stupid and if my hunch is right then their able to sense something within me that I’m not saying, but are kind enough to not ask me unless I feel the need to want to talk about these things….little do they know, I’ll never be the one to go up to them and just say what it is i’m feeling.
It’s not something most people would admit, but it’s the truth…..the only way you’re going to get me to say what I’m thinking is knowing me extremely well, but take what I just said there with a pinch of salt because even though there are very few and I mean it very few that I can sit and genuinely speak to about my feelings without judgement or worry, I still won’t express myself to just anyone, not my family and sometimes not even my best friend and she’s my best friend….but I don’t like to talk about my feelings so I keep them to myself…..there’s only 1 person whose able to get me to say what I need to say without fail and that’s only because eventually I just tell on myself and let it out, but if I can help it….I won’t say a word!
I always feel whenever I do express myself, I wish I hadn’t, my emotions get too much for me and so when I am being honest about my feelings, it makes me feel as though it’s too much for other people and then I get upset with myself where I’m always thinking “I always say too much or write too much” and then I wish I could just take everything back into a vaccuum (or hoover is some places) it’s already hard for me to want to be open with some people and so when I do I always want to feel that it means something and is being understood properly and that I’m not just talking a load of rubbish shit and things like that…..but another thing that I’ve really tried soaking in this month is that, there are things that you have to be brave enough to say by yourself even if you find it hard to say out loud, you still should say it in the ways you do feel comfortable!
I know I’ve not written a lot these days and that’s because I was trying to challenge myself a bit, see if I could be open about specifics with just saying it, not by writing, but by actually saying it….spoiler…..it’s not really been vocalized too much and whenever I felt I failed to speak it out loud, I would get frustrated with myself because I would find myself going for it, but would hold back so I didn’t….however with every non vocal words….i’d force myself to write about it even when I didn’t want to….I felt like if I didn’t I was going to become angry with myself, due to the fact that I was holding it in.
It took a minute before I realized that, just because I can’t say it out loud just yet, doesn’t mean that I need to get upset with myself, I had to give permission and be okay with the fact that I use writing as a way of expressing what I have hard time saying out loud, not that I didn’t already know that, I mean it’s the reason I started this blog in the first place I needed something so I didn’t feel like I was holding everything in, so if writing is my way, then I have to accept that and remember it helps me to get my real feelings out, at the end of the day, I still try and so the more I try, the better I know I’ll become!
This month has also given me insight of what happens when you continue to hold yourself and take it from me if you can help it….do NOT wait too long….if you have something in your heart and on your mind constantly, don’t about too much, just go for it…..the longer you wait the more likely you are to lose it….I might’ve risked something extremely important to me and the fact that I always take forever on everything is one of my traits that I absolutely, I won’t say hate because that’s a strong word, even though I just kind of said it, but it’s one I really don’t like….although I understand…..it really does bother me….but the way I need to look at it is,
That part of it is done and has been like it for a while, but just because 1 road closes, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t other back ways to take….so I need to be brave enough to go a different route, I’m not going to give up and although I know I haven’t been given up on…..I still feel like it’s my job to really do something this time around and not wait anymore, so however it’s going to play out….I need to allow it, because if I want to get there, no amount of words is going to get you there…..you have to be willing to really go for it, even if it does leave people upset with you, life doesn’t wait, so you have to not be scared to do what it is you want, you have to show yourself that you can do it and that you will, otherwise you’re going to be there waiting forever!
So I just hope that I didn’t lose that chance to proving myself and going after something that’s important to me, other then that, that’s everything I needed to say for this month….hopefully you all had a good month to May!
Well it’s about 4am at the current moment, yeah I’m not really sure why i’m up so early either…..I’ve tried going back to sleep, but I haven’t had much luck so here I am writing a post this early in the morning! Hope everyone’s morning is going well so far, I know it’s been a bit of a while since I went ahead and wrote anything….I’ll be honest I haven’t really felt the need to write, lately I’ve only been writing every now and again. I guess that’s just where I’m at currently just writing every now and again, when I started this blog, it was because I felt I didn’t really have much of a voice, I was having a very hard time expressing myself out loud vocally
It was thanks to a very good friend of mine where I found out about WordPress, she helped me set it up and everything and from there I now had a place to express myself freely in anyway I liked and saw fit, plus I always used to write anyway just in a journal, I never really thought to express my feelings using a blog site before, but after learning about it, I started writing to help me get my feelings out that were hard for me to express naturally! It’s coming to 4 years of creating this blog and although I don’t write as much to when I first started, I still hold a very big fondness of the site I created….I know it probably sounds weird that I’m speaking about this especically so early in the morning, let alone randomly, but I’m hoping that you understand regardless!!
I’m always writing, even when I’m not writing if that makes sense!? No matter where I am or where I go I tend to have some kind of journal on me, I may not write in it all the time, but I know that if I were to need it, all I have to do is go into my back and jot down a few things and then some….but I should try and be honest and say that I do sometimes get tired of writing and when I say it like that I don’t mean it in a bad way, I’m not saying I don’t ever want to write again….I just for one know myself very well and I know that me not writing just won’t happen, but sometimes I write a lot, like more than I expect sometimes and although I’m always amazed by how much I get out that way…..
I just would like to be able to show myself more and be okay with expressing it vocally without feeling like I’m going to say the wrong thing or just not have that same confidence that I do when I am writing, I really don’t like having to be afraid of saying what it is that is on my mind and hoping that when I’m expressing it, I’m not sitting there wondering to myself “is it going to be understood, will I say it the same way I’m thinking it!?” because I always know that it’s not going to come out the same, it always comes out a totally different way and having to explain what I actually mean to certain people, just….raises my Anxiety and stress levels up, I try not to be that way at times, but sometimes it’s a little impossible especially when you’re someone with a lot of patience who does their best to make sure they’re really understanding people and what their feelings!
That all being said however, as much as I may not want it to be sometimes, writing is my way of expressing myself clearly without much worry, even when I’m afraid to say things….it always shows patience with me as weird as it is to say, but it’s the truth! If were to tell you the many times I was terrified of writing things down, always getting myself anxious and stressed out because I didn’t know where to start, but eventually something would come out and I would just follow it from there, I know I’ve improved in being more open when I speak,
but I also know that I still struggle to get my true feeling inside out, especially when I need it to count most and that’s what where I need to build my courage towards standing up for the things I feel strongly about regardless to how it gets interpreted and if I have to write it down just to get it out there, then I need to not be afraid of using what works to my adventage when I feel myself struggling the most to get it out vocally…..it will always leave me emotional, for different reasons 1. because of how easily frustrated I get with myself and 2. because I know that once I do get out what it is I need to get out, that I am going to feel loads better about it and say “see it wasn’t so bad….sorta” right after i’ve given myself so much headaches about it!
It can be a lot to deal with sometimes, but I know that the only way things move forward is by trying even when it seems hard, I always feel the need to say something, but never do because I hold myself back a lot, I know I’ve evolved a lot from before, it’s just putting those things into orbit that I have trouble with, oh and in case it wasn’t clear….this is me also apologizing for not writing in a while, even though I did say that my writing was slowing down and that I wouldn’t be writing as much, but still I always feel I should at least write sometimes….but I’m giving myself permission to be okay with writing when I feel it to be necessary,
We’re all human and we shouldn’t put ourselves in a tight hold so much, but anyway it’s almost 5:30am as I wrap up this post, I’m going to try and get a bit more rest, I’ve only slept 4 hours, I’ll be missing the sunrise, but that’s okay I’ve seen half of it, hope you guys have a good rest of the day, take care and stay safe!
Let’s just get it off our chest, we’re uncomfortable…..we don’t like it and we want it to stop, buut it’s not going to is it!? As humans we always think we can escape our own uncomfortability, but the one person that you’re unable to get away from is yourself so what exactly are you doing!? You want to know why I’m uncomfortable!? Well, I’ll try to explain it in a way that, hopefully doesn’t reveal to many personal details, but to keep a long story short….I’m uncomfortable with the fact that, when I’m thinking about something that I know I want to do I will take FOREVER just to decide on it, even when I know I want to do it….
However, one thing about me that I know is my least favorite trait to my personality is…..I’m always siking myself out of things or I overthink it too much to where I already know it frustrates those around me, they don’t have to say it to me because I can feel it and by knowing that, it’ll brings me more stress and frustration because you know the reason you feel like that is due to the fact that you’re afraid to let people down, which wait for it…..adds MORE stress because you’re also fighting with yourself thinking “Why are you worrying about everyone else!?”
Asking yourself that question then just makes you want to scream because although you know why you worry, part of you just wish you didn’t worry or care so much about these things…..and all of that starts mixing together because you could never put you, nor your needs and wants first, leaving you to feel a little upset with yourself, where you’re just like “You always worry about other people and how they’re going to feel” although there’s nothing wrong with caring about others and wanting to make sure they’re going to be okay….
You as person also have to know when it’s time to say “I love you, but no” and be okay with choosing to honor yourself and the things you want to go after! That being said, we also have to live and embrace the uncomfortability of it all!! No matter what we do, we will always be uncomfortable, there’s no way of escaping it, we live to experience, we live to discover and to be amazed along with all the other emotions and feelings we go through within our journey here!
We have to be uncomfortable in order to know what we’re comfortable with, once that’s discovered, we then find and learn what our comfortablities are and how to embrace them along with the uncomfortable! It’s not something we have to necessarily like feeling, but it is something we have to accept whether we want to or not! We have to be okay with the shadow parts of ourselves…..if you really think about it, we’re practically yin and yang inside, we all have the light part of us and the dark part, if we are always leaning towards the light and pushing the dark away, we’re not really giving ourselves the chance to truly experience who we are all the way around…..which isn’t fair!
Just because something is dark doesn’t mean that there isn’t any goodness to it! I may have said this before already, but we all know how diamonds are formed, they go through a lot of pressure before turning into something beautiful!! Amethyst forms from volcantic lava and pearls can be found within oysters, before stones become stones they have to go through some kind of dark experience themselves before we get to see the true beauty of them…..it’s never easy when you feel like every wall is caving in on you or where things are just not going well whatsoever, BUT it’s important to be aware that, all of it is necessary and instead of seeing it as a negative experience automatically, we have to understand that, it happens because we’re evolving and we need it in order for our growth to thrive and for us to continue to be the best versions of ourselves that we already are wheher we see it or not!
We can’t have the good without the bad, even if we prefer it better, the more we try to resist the uncomfortable the more worst and uncomfortable it’s going to get, so allow it, accept it and be okay with it, you don’t have to love it, but honestly who loves being uncomfortable!? Allow the transformation that you’re going to be experiencing to unfold and happen and be amazed at what you see!!
Good Afternoon, now before we get into the post, I just want to say that I’ve broken my own streak of only sharing post on Tuesdays this month, which actually happened unexpectedly, don’t ask why I’ve only been posting on Tuesdays, because honestly, I didn’t even notice myself until I shared last weeks post and saw the calender to all my postings this month, I guess Tuesdays were the days for March! The only reason I’m choosing to break my own streak is for two reasons….
1. To welcome the new season that we all know as Spring, my birth season as well and also to wish one of my all time favorite games a big happy birthday, for those that may not be aware, today marks 2 years that Animal Crossing: New Horizons made it’s debut after so many years of not having a main console game since New Leaf, I will always remember the unexpected announcement that we got when the trailer of New Horizons was revealed, oh was it an exciting feeling, just knowing that we were going to be getting a new game, although we had to wait another year for it when originally told it we would be getting it in 2019….it was defintiely worth the wait when the trailer showed March 20th 2020 and honestly it couldn’t have come at a better time as well!!
As we’re all very much aware 2020 was quite the year and not in the best of ways clearly with the whole start of the pandemic and having to go into lockdown, we don’t need to talk to much about it, but just the fact that, while all that was happening, New Horizons was the game that pretty much saved and helped a lot of people’s mental state and anxieties during those hard stressful times…..2020 was and let’s be honest, it was a quite shit year and for someone who doesn’t really swear much unless I feels the need to let emotions out strongly, although I always say the same 2-3 swear words all the time, me saying it that way really says it all when it comes to 2020….
it really wasn’t a great year, but despite that being said, there were some things within that year to help us cope and take our minds off things for a while and one of the big things to do that was the release of this game! Most of you who come across my posts already know how much Animal Crossing means to me, no matter how many times I try to explain my love for the series, I don’t think I’ll ever really be able to express it the exact way I feel it! On surface it doesn’t really look like the most appealing game, but there’s more to this game then I’m able to truly explain, but for those that do play it and see it the way I see it….
You guys are the ones that know exactly what I mean, Animal Crossing has always been the kind of game that is hard to explain and when trying to explain it, it always sorta feels weird, but one thing I’ve realized is that when you love something so much that you can’t even begin to explain, but you express so much passion for it and you know it shows, you find you don’t even need to try to explain it because it just naturally flows out of you so by sharing the things you love and that are of interest to you, you’re bound to get others to be interested and inspired to look into it and try it for themeselves even and that could be with anything really….
For me though it always starts with Animal Crossing, because I just love that game so much and I’m not just talking about New Horizons, but just the series in general! That being said the fact that New Horizons is 2 years old today and that it literally was released the same day that we enter the season of Spring….well that for one says a WHOLE lot on it’s own, not only did it arrive within a new season, but it also came into light when everyone needed it the most, call it “Perfect timing” if you like or “Coincidence” if you want, although I like to believe that there are no such thing as coincidences, that’s just me though!
To wrap it all up….like I said this game could not have arrived at a better time, it really gave people something to not only enjoy, but to help give light and hope during times of uncertainty and it’s for that reason, apart from loving the game as a whole why I want to wish Animal Crossing: New Horizons both a Happy Birthday and 2 year anniversary thank you for bringing hope to everyone that needed it at the time and continuing to be a game that people enjoy today!! I know this ones a short one, but in all honestly, I wasn’t expecting to write today, I thought about it, but I didn’t quite have anything in mind to write about, but I knew today was the 2 year anniversary of New Horizons so I thought why not!?
Hope you all have been enjoying your weekend, take care, stay safe and have a good rest of the day!
I’ve been having a lot of weird dreams lately these past few days, some of them feel a bit like nightmares with the nightmare feeling, some leave me so confused that I don’t even know how to word them when I try to look into them and the rest is just very hard to think about. I know people don’t really talk too much about dreams because maybe it’s a weird topic or you just can’t remember and if you do remember them, most people don’t really care to look into them, you’ll just say “well that was weird!?” and just go about the rest of your day!
I’m the kind of person where if I have a dream and I remember it vidly enough….I will look into it and even if I can’t quite remember it, but I feel like I did have a dream….I will sit there and try my best to remember it so I can try and figure out it’s meaning…..I know a lot of the time, my dreams do tell me things, it’s just trying to decipher what exactly those things are…..now some dreams have a way of projecting fear, even when you think you’ve put it in the back of your mind….just because you put it there, does not mean that it won’t show up in other ways and what I mean by that is a lot of what we feel and think stores itself within our subconcious minds when certain things haven’t quite been resolved!
Sometimes it’ll just be there when we’re wanting to remember a specific thing, other times it’ll just show us all the things we have yet to look at, people are always wondering why exactly we dream and it’s such an unclear question that not even scientists are able to give an actual fact to the reason of it, they can come up with different theories about it, but it’ll always be a question that’s up in the air!
I like to think that the reason for our dreams is it tells us what we need to know, but also what we may already know, it sounds a bit weird I know, but it does make sense, plus I feel you get more out of dreams then you may just trying to process thoughts and feelings in your waking state, we may try and decompress and relax, but whatever we have yet to get out of heads will always stay in our subconcious minds and a 9/10 of the time, those things will make their way into our dreams in many different shapes, forms, scenary….any way it sees fit that will allow us to really understand what it’s trying to tell us.
Even the people that show up in our dreams, sometimes they will just be there to act as filler, but most times they may even act as dream guides/regular guides to help us navigate easier when getting back into our waking lives, sometimes they may show up as a mentor or just a messager of some sort for you whenever you find yourself faced with a challenge or when you’re needing a little bit of help with a problem you’ve been having lately! We dream when we’ve not looked at something clearly, dreams form when there’s something we need to pay attention to, I’m sure there’s a lot of you out there wondering why you’ve been having the same dream non stop, if that is the case and you have been finding yourself dreaming of the same things for the past 3 days,
That’s a clear sign that there’s something in your waking life that needs your attention, it’s like going on an adventure or playing some kind of puzzle related game where you’re having to really think of what the next move is, where should the next piece of the puzzle go or observing around until you eventually find the hidden object that you’re having to look for! Sometimes it can be very confusing and overwhelming because when you think you’ve figured it out, there’s a whole new area that gets unlocked and now you’re having to figure that out…..I’ve had dreams tell me something ahead of time and then later have those things happen…..it’s not a constant thing, but it does happen sometimes and after I’ve seen them,
I think to myself “That’s what the dream was telling me” at the time I’d be very confused about why I had those dreams, whenever I do come across dreams like that though, I always wonder to myself if whether I should speak on them or just let them play out, a lot of the time I let them play out, but I also think “had I said something before on the message about this dream/situation, would it have changed the way everything is now!?”
Sometimes I feel like maybe yes, while other times I feel like it would’ve turned out the same either way, so I leave it alone…..dreams can tell you a lot of what may be going on all while giving you a few solutions to it, but only if you’re really paying attention, if you’re not there’s a chance you’ll miss a lot of things, sometimes it’s the small things within a dream that helps to unlock the bigger things that you may have an a problem with at first, but then just like magic it’s resolved!!
I know this is a bit of a weird post, but I just kind of felt I should write it, hope you all have a good rest of the day!
Good Morning, hope that you all have been well these days! We’re now a week into the month of March for many out there, a lot has probably happened already be it big or something small that you’ve been also looking forward too and for others March might still feel like you’re just getting started and that’s perfectly okay! We all have a specific pace that we start with, things could be going really fast and quick for a lot of you, while for some March could be catching you by surprise where things start feeling a bit unexpected, in a sense where, you may find yourself more busy then usual or in other ways where you may not normally be used to if that makes sense!?
Yesterday I found myself deep in thought about a lot of things, I was out for most of the day so it was a bit productive, however I wasn’t really in a talkive mood, I mean don’t get me wrong I did speak a bit, but I wasn’t in my usual talkive state that I normally am….a lot of the time when that happens, it’s because I just have a lot on my mind and it gets to the point where I don’t really want to talk…..in those moments talking for me becomes a bit of chore to deal with so I like to say as little as I can if I’m able to! I started to become a bit more chatty during the evening though, but it still took me a while!
I guess it’s just my way of processing my own thoughts and dealing with them in some way, I normally try and distract myself when I start getting really into my own mind, but I also know when I need to allow my thoughts to be what it is they are and not push them aside, by doing that it’s only going to come at you harder so you want to make sure that your being considerate with yourself in those times of deep thinking…..yesterday I had a thought to myself regarding my surroundings, but involving how everything’s changed!
All the places that I once knew and saw growing up, most of them are all different now, building that, were once there are no longer around and if they are, they’ve changed so much to where you don’t really recongize them, it’s kind of like seeing a time lapse of what you used to know recontructed right before your eyes, but you’re seeing the transformation of what it was then, to what it is now and seeing that, seeing all the places that you’ve grown up with change and look completely new to what you used to see, it really hits you just how much things really transform an old shop that you may have gone to a lot when you were a kid, is either no longer there or isn’t quite the same as you once remembered it!
It’s a mind blowing experience because even though you know it’s different, there something in you that feels like you still need a bit of time to process it fully, yet you never really get the chance to, due to the fact that it’s already changed and transformed so much that you don’t get much room to feel it entirely the way you want. It’s the same with people, although they have certain things with them that stayed the same, you already know that they too have transformed and are a lot different to what you remember them to be, but be it so,
There’s always that part of you that hopes that the relationship that you had with them and the bond that you once shared didn’t change and a lot of the time you find it did, but you do get those one of kind moments where even though you and that person have grown and seen things in a more….I guess you can say mature perspective to how you used to see things….even though all that’s happened, you find that it’s easy for you to just come back together as if nothings changed at all and just pick up where you left off….with those moments though it can feel a bit nervewracking and scary, it’s like meeting someone that you already know for the first time all over again….and it’s not something you would normally think to get nervous about, but you do because you know it’s different!!
You start feeling like you have to prepare yourself again and get ready for it, it’s like a new journey and adventure that you know, but don’t know at the same time so you’re kind of just hoping for the best and for things to turn out okay, it’ll sometimes even leave you wondering if they still feel the same about you even if you know they do, you still can’t help, but have those thoughts in mind that, now that doesn’t neccasarily mean it’s a bad thing, it’s just curious wonders! That being said, you won’t really know unless you put yourself out there to feel those things and be okay with feeling them, I like to think they’re normal, it just simply shows how much you really truly and deeply care as well as how much that person still means to you!!
Fear or no fear, changes and transforamtions will always happen, even if you don’t really get the chance to take it in the way you want or you find you aren’t able to really prepare, it’s okay….I guess the best way to look at it is to just give it a go anyway when it involves a new experience, but if it involves a change that you have no control of, like seeing a place you once knew when you were younger in a whole new way, you kind of just have to adapt the best way you can with it, keep those memories close to you always and whatever connection you made with it…..just know that it will always be with you, never be afraid of changes and don’t be afraid of transforming the way you feel you are wanting to, it’s all part of living life so try not to hold yourself back from experiencing all that you want to experience at the end of the day you gotta do what makes you happy!!
Welp, we’ve arrived at a new month, Happy 1st of March everyone!! Hope you guys are feeling alright and that you’re doing okay….March already is starting to feel like it’s going to take a bit before people start getting comfortable with it, but it’s important that we do our best to try to get through it even if it feels a little hard to do at the moment…..anyway Happy Tuesday, can you believe Spring is almost here, because I can’t, I’ve got two more months left until my birthday (also the word birthday didn’t look like it was even a word for some reason) and I don’t even know how to feel about it…..but that’s not for another two months so I don’t have to really worry about it just yet so it’s all alright!
If I were to be honest to how I’m feeling today….I’d tell you that I don’t know because I honestly don’t know, I’m aware I’ve got a few things in my mind at the moment, but the start of March has kind of put me in a interesting we’ll say headspace, I feel okay, but I also feel a bit overwhelmed, but I’m going to try and take it down a bit and focus my thoughts onto something else and do my best to keep my nerves together somehow someway…..funny it’s about 12:30pm in the time of writing this and you’d think that it’d not be so bad, but today is surely taking it’s sweet time to the point where you feel it….it’s like you want it to hurry up, but you’re also saying to yourself “It just started why am I trying to already rush it!?” I guess it’s just one of those days….
Moving on to the topic of this post, because we’re in the month of March and we’re coming to the anniversary of it in a few weeks, I thought we’d talk some Animal Crossing, because well…..I already had it in mind to talk about so…..I feel why not!? The fact that we’re nearing Spring and we’re coming into two years that this game made it’s debut is insane…..everyone in the Animal Crossing world didn’t even think we’d get a new Animal Crossing series game until Nintendo decided to announce it unexpectedly blowing everyone’s minds when the trailer of New Horizons dropped!
I’ve been a fan of this series, for as long as I could remember and so just the realization that we’ll be coming to two years of Animal Crossing: New Horizons…..is just amazing!! Now I may not have started my island the day the game released, like how most people did, but you don’t have to start a game the moment it comes out to enjoy it, as long as you’re enjoying it, when you actually start it doesn’t really matter, you play when you feel it to be right! Now that that’s been said, we’re not actually here to talk about New Horizons exactly, but the second installment of Happy Home Designer that was only playable on the 3DS, Happy Home Paradise!!
I’ve actually been meaning to discuss, HHP for quite a while now, but I just didn’t feel it to be the right moment then, I’m not even sure if now is the right moment, but I wanted to talk about it so, I’m going to take it as it being an okay time to do so! Now I’ve actually played the first installment to HHP, Happy Home Designer and to give some thoughts about, I also felt Happy Home Designer to be okay, it wasn’t something that I neccasarily was in love with, but it wasn’t something I didn’t not like at the same time, if that makes sense!?
It was an okay game to keep it simple, I used to only play it every so often and then after a while, I just never picked it up from there, plus I wasn’t really into the whole Designing homes…..until I started playing New Horizons where it was more encouraged to do so, with decorating being more apart of the new series fully, so when the last big update happened back in November and we were told all the things we’d be getting…..Happy Home Paradise was not something I personally expected to be apart of that big update, until it was shown in the Animal Crossing Direct!
A lot of what we got in that Direct was not to be expected, there was so much that, you found yourself having to really take it in, I wasn’t actually sure if I even wanted to get Happy Home Paradise at first, with the knowledge of how much I barely even played the first game HHD, so I waited a while before actually deciding I wanted to give it a try and honestly I preferred Happy Home Paradise over Happy Home Designer, I guess it was because there was more to it and it allowed you to be more creative and step out of your comfort, especially if you’re someone that isn’t all for designing, it allowed you expand on something you already had knowledge of and just see what you can do with it!!
Me telling myself and thinking you know what “I want to see what this game has to offer and what’s different about it, so let me download it, it doesn’t hurt to give it a try” by taking that chance and seeing where it went and what the creators did with it….it gave me an experience that I didn’t even expect and honestly it was very exciting and nerve wracking….I say nerve wracking for the simple fact of….I wasn’t confident in my decorating abilities, I barely know what to do with my own home in my Animal Crossing game so, I honestly wasn’t sure how I was going to do designing a villgers home……
and before it’s even said, yes I am aware that it’s just a game so I shouldn’t really being feeling anxious of making a home look nice in it, but Animal Crossing is my life, I love this game with every part of soul and body and luckily you can’t actually see me, because if you did you would see how hard I’m trying to hold back my emotions, yes I know weirdo here, but honestly that’s how much this game means to me…..also you don’t know it, but you will now…..I’m getting annoyed with myself because of how emotional talking about it is making me, it is what it is and I shouldn’t be ashamed of it, not that I am!
Anyway you’ve heard me speak about this game loads of times so those who look forward to reading my posts will know how much I love this game!! I never knew you could feel so much for something that isn’t even real first off haha, but you still are constantly drawn to it……Animal Crossing has always been a game that I could turn to whenever I felt I couldn’t be who I felt inside to be, it’s hard to explain, but…..it’s my home away from home….no matter what is going on….even if I did take time away from it, I knew that it was always going to be there to welcome be back……as most of you know…..I don’t do words right most times…..so it really does take a lot in me to finally get what I want to say out, even in real life!
It’s something I actually worry about a lot, whether what I’m saying is coming across well or if it’s even being undersood and even though I’ve improved a lot better in communciating my feelings and that….it’s still hard for me, so I always do my best to take my time when I need to express something, for most people a post like this might only take them an hour or maybe less, but for me….it’ll probably take 3 hours or so, I can write less, but when I feel I need to really say things that’s when it’s more!
To get back on track though….this game has helped me through so much to where I can’t even explain it to you, so that’s why I will always talk about it, because it was the first game that I got into that allowed me to be myself and not have to worry, it gave me something to experience, it is a weird game, but it’s a weird game that I love and I will continue to speak about until I can’t speak about it anymore….but back to Happy Home Paradise…I love it, do I play it all the time, no, not really, but when I do push myself to head on over to the Happy Home Paradise island, I always enjoy myself and leaves me inspired without knowing I was inspired!!
I’ve made some interesting homes, some were great in my eyes and some I know still needs work, like I actually need to speak to some of the villgers whos homes I’ve decorated to change it, but I only play it when I’m either really wanting to because it’s been a while or when I’m feeling inspired, I barely go on that island, but that’s also because I’m too worried about my own island and what I want to do with it, right now inspiration is not quite up there, but whatever burst of inspiration I have, I go with it when I’m feeling it in the moment and it’s kind of been like that in real life too if I’m being honest, it’s not something I like to admit, but it’s the truth which is why I don’t post much everyday…..
This series Animal Crossing, anything I was afraid of…..it helped me to not be afraid of it, but it also help give me a voice, it was my company when I didn’t have much company and I like to see it as my good luck charm, it’s the one thing I’m always talking about and you know what it’s okay because it means that I’m really passionate about it! It was the one game that I never thought I’d ever understand even though it honestly is quite simple, yet at the same time it was something I always felt I needed to play, like it was a calling of some sort!!
I just love this game as well as Happy Home Paradise, the series as a whole, brings me so much joy even when I can’t see it sometimes, because real life is kicking in, but I always feel grounded with it and that’s what I appreciate about it!!
Happy Weekend Everyone!! Hope you’re having a very good Friday, I can’t believe that we’re pretty much done with the month of February…..it seems like it only just started and now it’s about to set on it’s journey to wherever all the months that finish up go!! It’s been a while since I’ve really spoken about how each month has been….I like to think that it’s had it’s ups and downs, but I guess that’s just something that always sorta happens, some days are better than most, while others have that inbetween thing going on.
It’s been quite the month February and although it’s not neccsarily done, it also practically is come Monday and then we’re into the month of March….which is nuts to think about, but then again, February isn’t really that long of a month anyway so, this one doesn’t feel like it went by all that quick, because it’s already a quick month anyway, with it only having 28 days to it……that being said it doesn’t mean there weren’t some hard moments with it, there’s still a lot going on and I feel like it’s going to be like that for a bit.
This year two different vibes to it, there’s apart of you that feels like you have to do it now, whatever you feel that to be for you and then there the other part of it where it’s like…..you can’t really put your finger on it, but it’s important to know….like I said this year just has the inbetween feeling and you’re having to make some big decisions and take action on them, because if you don’t your going to miss something and you’re going to wish you had!
I get it, it’s tough because it feels like you got two different parts of you talking and you’re trying to figure out what part to listen to…..even when you may already know…..with Winter on it’s way out the door and Spring around the corner, you just feel like it’s getting to a point where you know you have to make a choice and trust that, whatever choice you make will be good, although they say no choice is ever bad, it just leads you down a different road, but you have to ask if that road is something you’re okay with going down!?
If it’s a road that has been on your mind for quite some time, shouldn’t that say something? It’s not about fear anymore, it’s about taking that chance to see where that road leads you, the only thing you have to do is decide and make that choice already, because the more you think the less you’re going to actually go for it, so what’s it going to be? Will you take that chance or will keep thinking about it, you already know what you want to do so what’s stopping you!?
This is probably one of the most cheesiest titles you’ve read or maybe not….if I’m being honest this title is a combination of two different lyrics from two different songs, both favorites of mine and by two artists that I admire! The first part of the title come from the song Living In Colour by non other than my all time favorite artist Alexz Johnson while the other part, kind of comes from the song No Regrets by an artist named Dappy at least it’s inspired by it anyway….I don’t know how many people know of either artist, but Alexz Johnson has always been one of my favorites since the moment I saw her show Instant Star, it was then I knew I found an artist I was going to listen to forever!
As for Dappy, I was introduced to his music by my partner whose a really big fan of his, the first song he ever had me listen to by Dappy was called Money Can’t Buy, it’s a love song of course, but it’s an amazing song and one of my other favorites!! Now Dappy isn’t just a singer he also raps too and comes from the UK, he also had this group called N-Dubs which had him, his cousin Tulisa and a friend of his I believe named Fazer who happens to rap as well! Now I’m not here to talk about these two artists, although they are great and their music is always a pleasure to listen to, I just wanted to explain the title name…..however I should point out that the actual lyrics to Dappy’s No Regrets is “I’m Free To Be Whatever I….”following a few bar flows after those lyrics!
What I really wanted to talk about is what I mean with the title I have there, well I will do my best to explain it at least! Now to me, both these lyrics have an encouragement feel to them, “Do what you like” by Alexz Johnson meaning “go for it” while the actual lyrics to Dappy’s song No Regrets ” I’m free to be whatever I…” that one goes more on the fact of having that freedom to do, well going back to the first song, pretty much whatever you like, being whoever it is you choose to be and allowing yourself to have the confidence to say “this is my life and I will decide how I want to live it” it’s letting you know to go after anything you believe in and are truly wanting without those regrets in the back of your mind, where you’re asking yourself “what if”
Keeping the what if’s in your head will always make you feel like, you have to just go with what’s there, but life isn’t about being okay with that, you have to be okay with change no matter how scary it is…..you don’t want to sit back and think to yourself “I didn’t, I should’ve, maybe” We always hear how short life is and the thing with it is, we think because we are still here doing the things we’re doing and getting to certain ages that it’s not really short, but it actually is….because you can walk past someone and that day their fine, but when you go to see them again….something is different and then next thing you know….you’re no longer seeing them!!
It’s a frightening scary thing and it’s something I don’t like to think about, but when you really look at it, it really does say a lot….we’re always worrying about everything, but that’s because we’re feeling things that we don’t even understand sometimes…..but it comes with the experience of life, but life is also meant to be experienced, you’re meant to be inspired, to be entertained and say “woah I’ve never seen that before or let alone known that it could exist” You’re meant to explore and feel different things, in different ways then imagined!!
There’s a lot of fear that is hard to shake within us, I have a few fears myself and one of them used to be change, I didn’t like things changing, I liked being safe and comfortable, I always thought that I wanted everything to stay the same, until eventually I witness change happening around me, forcing me to become uncomfortable and really see things differently and before I knew it…..I started to change and I saw how me changing and wanting different started to effect people around me!
I was always a certain way and when I stopped being that certain way and being vocal about it….it wasn’t well received, but I knew that it needed to happen because had it not happened, I would’ve still been in that situation…..the older I get the more I’m realizing how important it is to really go after what it is you want and not be afraid or feel bad for wanting those things, we’re allowed to want things, we’re allowed to say “hey this is what I’m doing, it’s okay that you don’t agree or like it, but I’m doing it anyway” it may be a scary thing to do, but it’s better to be brave and do it while shaking the nerves away, then to not do it and stress yourself out about it and how you should’ve done it….it’s okay to take that breath if needed, but if you find yourself feeling something like this lately then you may just want to consider some of these words
You don’t necessarily have to, but if you know there’s something in your heart that you would like to do and have been thinking about for a while, it really doesn’t hurt to give it a go and try, the only thing that will happen is that you’ll find yourself growing more and possibly enjoying yourself as you experience that new thing that is speaking to you!
That’s all I want to say, hope you all have a good rest of the day, stay safe and take care!