Feelings….. (July 18, 2019)

We all have them, sometimes we wish we didn’t, but then we wouldn’t really be human would we!? Here’s the thing……sometimes we let our own feelings get in the way of how other people feel, we may not try to do it intentionally, but sometimes we end up doing it unconsciously knowing creating a bit of a mess……although we have our own issues and problems to sort through, doesn’t mean we should ignore everyone’s else’s.

It’s okay to take time to work through your own feelings and emotions, but when it’s the only thing we focus on, we tend to fail at acknowledging how someone else maybe feeling, which is important because we don’t know half of the things that people go through or deal with alone.

We say we listen and that we understand but do we really!? Believe it or not besides communication, listening and understanding (as well as other things) are the two main things that are needed in order to build a healthy and better relationship with someone, whether it’s romanic, non romantic, a friendship kind of relationship whatever, it’s important to take others emotions and feelings into account…..

Really thinking about it, it’s no wonder, most people separate from other people or keep things to themselves……we as humans aren’t the best people these days, especially when it comes to communicating, listening and understanding someone, we’re so wrapped up in ourselves and our own life, that we will just brush off anything that doesn’t revolve around our own feelings which can be quite selfish at times.

We shouldn’t be telling people to go away because we have our own things to worry about or we just aren’t feeling what their feeling, sometimes we need people or we just want to talk to someone, whether it’s a serious topic or a random one, telling someone to go away or to stop talking, causes a lot of the issues that we encounter in day to day life…….

When I was younger I used to get told all the time to stop talking so much or that something else was more important than expressing something that I wanted to express, so I know what that feels like…..the feeling of wanting to talk to someone, but being told to go away or being ignored when your saying something, it hurts….

It’s no wonder people keep things to themselves these days, I mean really who can they talk to if people don’t want to listen!? It’s why most of us develop or have some kind of mental illness, we bottle things up because we feel we have to or we think if we talk about what we’re feeling no ones going to really listen or understand anyway so why even bother!?

A lot of the time we don’t even take mental illnesses serious, even though we should because it’s one of the things that can be harmful to someones life, if not taken seriously enough, that kind of thing should never be ignored, but overall dealing with feelings, stress, thoughts anything…..

It’s not just us dealing with it, there’s always someone going through a rougher time, dismissing or skipping over how someone else feels, will only cause them to closed themselves in more and not express how they’re really feeling and if they do try to express their emotions and thoughts, they’re going to think twice about it because they don’t know if it’s okay and that they should or if it’s just going to be a waste of their time.

People can be very stubborn and not realize that, they’re not the only ones that hurt, we don’t take in other peoples feelings the way we should and it’s because of that, people will tend to distance themselves or drift away, it’s not always because they want to, sometimes it’s because they feel they can’t talk to anyone or that no ones going to listen, other times it’s fear of being rejected or that their just bothering people…….

Sometimes the best way to really know how someone is feeling is to ask them directly and not in a forceful way, genuinely ask them, how their doing and if they’re okay and want to talk, if they don’t want to talk right away give them a bit of time and try and ask again later, sometimes you have to go out of your way in order to really understand someone one, even if they don’t want to talk, try to listen and understand how their feeling,

Without criticizing them and trying to add your input in, if their expressing why it is they feel the way they do and are talking to you about it, listen!! If they say “this is how I feel and i’m telling you this is why i’m feeling it” don’t say “okay this is how your feeling, this is what I think” (sorry to say it this way, but it’s the only way it’s going to come out )

DON’T ADD YOUR INPUT……unless they ask for it and if or when they do, try and be understanding with it, help them sort through their feelings and or thoughts and help them come up with a solution to help them get through it. When expressing our thoughts and feelings, all we want and need is someone to just listen and understand…..

Just like when we are needing for someone to listen to us, we should be able to do the same for other people who are needing it, we should never make someone feel like they can’t talk about their own issues or express themselves, especially when their trying to express on something serious.

Whether we like what we’re hearing or not, we shouldn’t go shutting down other people’s emotions, we’re human and one of the things we are born with is compassion and if we can’t bother to really hear someone out when they’re begging for it secretly or desperately wanting someone to talk to, that says a lot about who we are and it’s not good……

We all have feelings and stresses in life, but we can still take time to try and get to know, as well as listen and understand someone.

Instead of judging someone and assuming all kinds of things and that, ASK!! if you really want to know or are curious on how someones doing or what’s going on in their life, just ask them, you might get a lot more out of them than asking someone else about it……

P.S. Sorry if this came out jumping at you haha, didn’t mean for that, I just had a lot to get out and this was the only way I guess I was able to get it out, hope you’re all doing well and having a good day!!

All The Love ❤ < 3

~Lexa~

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