Has Communication Really Become So Hard These Days!?

I tell you some people sure know how to communicate……I say that sarcastically by that way, in case that was missed!! Now i’m going to try and keep things on a positive outlook to this topic, because it just seems really easy to go on a negative rant here and i’m not going to lie to you guys, buuut, it’s kinda what i’m feeling here, however i’m going to do my best to keep it the rant from overpowering here…..Let’s just talk calmly about this!!

Before anything though……..i’m going to take a small break so I can eat, i’m kinda hungry so…..be right back (Lunch Break……) Back….sorry that took a while, you know I forgot just how good goldfish snacks are, if you’re not careful you’ll end up eating the whole bag, I had to put it away from me that’s how addictive they are, still good though!!

Anyway on to the topic of communications……now we all know that communications is a way of expression, when we communicate we tell about the things that we feel as well as what we care about, but it seems these days communication is a little hard to reach at time, scratch that it’s not the communication that’s hard, but the listening that seems to be the issue at times, why is that!? When did listening become so hard to do!?

Now let’s get this straight alright, sometimes we aren’t all great listeners and when we know we should be, we still sometimes have a hard time taking things in the way we should……it’s a weird thing, but even when listening and communicating is a hard thing, sometimes we need to know when to really listen, if there’s something that needs expressing we have to learn how to shut our mouths and open our ears, that’s how we show our support and love to people and if happens that someone we may just be encountering for the first time needs to express something,

That’s how we show care and compassion as human beings, sometimes we all have a little too much we’re trying to handle, some of those things being mentally or emotionally and so forth and because we do, we just need a little support, we may not ask about it, but sometimes you can just feel it or see even, we don’t always have to show support in a huge way, sometimes a simple ear to lend can be that big support that someone needs,

Having a chat can even be a big thing for some, I don’t think we look at listening and communicating as an important thing these days, some people would rather sit silently, not saying that’s a bad thing, because it’s not, it’s just sometimes silence can seem like an enemy and can be a little loud for our psyche to deal with especially when thoughts start being added the mix.

So just because silents can be a good thing for us, doesn’t mean we always want to sit with it for a long period of time…..sometimes we need distracts that help get us out of our heads and a good distraction is communicating in what ways!? Well that depends on what’s needed,

Sometimes it’s talking about what we’re feeling, other ways it’s talking randomly and seeing how weird the conversation can get, but the take away to those conversations is also listening, opening our ears and turning up the volume a little so we’re hearing everyone word possible,

That’s how we understand each other better and sometimes by doing that we help someone feel a little better and vice versa!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Feelings….. (July 18, 2019)

We all have them, sometimes we wish we didn’t, but then we wouldn’t really be human would we!? Here’s the thing……sometimes we let our own feelings get in the way of how other people feel, we may not try to do it intentionally, but sometimes we end up doing it unconsciously knowing creating a bit of a mess……although we have our own issues and problems to sort through, doesn’t mean we should ignore everyone’s else’s.

It’s okay to take time to work through your own feelings and emotions, but when it’s the only thing we focus on, we tend to fail at acknowledging how someone else maybe feeling, which is important because we don’t know half of the things that people go through or deal with alone.

We say we listen and that we understand but do we really!? Believe it or not besides communication, listening and understanding (as well as other things) are the two main things that are needed in order to build a healthy and better relationship with someone, whether it’s romanic, non romantic, a friendship kind of relationship whatever, it’s important to take others emotions and feelings into account…..

Really thinking about it, it’s no wonder, most people separate from other people or keep things to themselves……we as humans aren’t the best people these days, especially when it comes to communicating, listening and understanding someone, we’re so wrapped up in ourselves and our own life, that we will just brush off anything that doesn’t revolve around our own feelings which can be quite selfish at times.

We shouldn’t be telling people to go away because we have our own things to worry about or we just aren’t feeling what their feeling, sometimes we need people or we just want to talk to someone, whether it’s a serious topic or a random one, telling someone to go away or to stop talking, causes a lot of the issues that we encounter in day to day life…….

When I was younger I used to get told all the time to stop talking so much or that something else was more important than expressing something that I wanted to express, so I know what that feels like…..the feeling of wanting to talk to someone, but being told to go away or being ignored when your saying something, it hurts….

It’s no wonder people keep things to themselves these days, I mean really who can they talk to if people don’t want to listen!? It’s why most of us develop or have some kind of mental illness, we bottle things up because we feel we have to or we think if we talk about what we’re feeling no ones going to really listen or understand anyway so why even bother!?

A lot of the time we don’t even take mental illnesses serious, even though we should because it’s one of the things that can be harmful to someones life, if not taken seriously enough, that kind of thing should never be ignored, but overall dealing with feelings, stress, thoughts anything…..

It’s not just us dealing with it, there’s always someone going through a rougher time, dismissing or skipping over how someone else feels, will only cause them to closed themselves in more and not express how they’re really feeling and if they do try to express their emotions and thoughts, they’re going to think twice about it because they don’t know if it’s okay and that they should or if it’s just going to be a waste of their time.

People can be very stubborn and not realize that, they’re not the only ones that hurt, we don’t take in other peoples feelings the way we should and it’s because of that, people will tend to distance themselves or drift away, it’s not always because they want to, sometimes it’s because they feel they can’t talk to anyone or that no ones going to listen, other times it’s fear of being rejected or that their just bothering people…….

Sometimes the best way to really know how someone is feeling is to ask them directly and not in a forceful way, genuinely ask them, how their doing and if they’re okay and want to talk, if they don’t want to talk right away give them a bit of time and try and ask again later, sometimes you have to go out of your way in order to really understand someone one, even if they don’t want to talk, try to listen and understand how their feeling,

Without criticizing them and trying to add your input in, if their expressing why it is they feel the way they do and are talking to you about it, listen!! If they say “this is how I feel and i’m telling you this is why i’m feeling it” don’t say “okay this is how your feeling, this is what I think” (sorry to say it this way, but it’s the only way it’s going to come out )

DON’T ADD YOUR INPUT……unless they ask for it and if or when they do, try and be understanding with it, help them sort through their feelings and or thoughts and help them come up with a solution to help them get through it. When expressing our thoughts and feelings, all we want and need is someone to just listen and understand…..

Just like when we are needing for someone to listen to us, we should be able to do the same for other people who are needing it, we should never make someone feel like they can’t talk about their own issues or express themselves, especially when their trying to express on something serious.

Whether we like what we’re hearing or not, we shouldn’t go shutting down other people’s emotions, we’re human and one of the things we are born with is compassion and if we can’t bother to really hear someone out when they’re begging for it secretly or desperately wanting someone to talk to, that says a lot about who we are and it’s not good……

We all have feelings and stresses in life, but we can still take time to try and get to know, as well as listen and understand someone.

Instead of judging someone and assuming all kinds of things and that, ASK!! if you really want to know or are curious on how someones doing or what’s going on in their life, just ask them, you might get a lot more out of them than asking someone else about it……

P.S. Sorry if this came out jumping at you haha, didn’t mean for that, I just had a lot to get out and this was the only way I guess I was able to get it out, hope you’re all doing well and having a good day!!

All The Love ❤ < 3

~Lexa~

The Cycle Continues….(July 10, 2019)

“It’s a circle, I mean cycle” may not seem like the grandest lyrics, but it sure is one of the best lyrics written by the band Paramore, from their song Ignorance, it’s quite simple, yet still affective and one of my picks for the song of the day (if you haven’t heard the song, i’d say give it a listen, if you like that kind of music anyway)

Now i’m not sure if any of what i’m going to write is going to make sense, but let’s see how it all turns out, it might just do……I don’t really understand why some of us do this, why do most of us feel the need to put energy into something that isn’t going to benefit us in the long run!?

Seriously….I mean I get that there are just some things that are hard to ignore, but why bother going out of your way to let certain situations, things and even people affect you!? I could understand if the feeling of the affect is mutual, especially if the affect is coming from certain people, but if you find yourself being the only person getting fired up and agitated all the time, wouldn’t you just leave it alone after awhile!?

Why feed the beast, if you know the beast isn’t going to budge when you’re feeding it!?……I know this is probably a random example, but it came to mind so i’m going to use it, you know in the movie Napoleon Dynamite where he’s trying to feed Tina the Lama or Alpaca dinner (not really sure which one it was, might’ve been a Lama if correct, but I could be wrong)

In the movie he’s trying to feed her, but she’s not eating the food that he’s giving her and you can see, if you’ve watched the movie, how the more he tries to feed her and he sees she’s not eating, the more he ends up frustrated about it…….now i’ve watched that movie a couple times……it’s quite a classic actually, maybe not for everyone and that’s okay.

Thinking back at that scene though, if he noticed she wasn’t eating it right away, had he just maybe given her the food and left it for her to eat when she was actually hungry, it probably would’ve kept his frustration levels low…….what i’m trying to get at is, instead of getting angry or annoyed and letting your emotions run wild as well as continuing to have your stress levels on the roof all the time,

Try just leaving it……actually scratch that, leave it alone, keep it from affecting you so much to the point where it starts affecting everyone else around you, because you may think that your the only one that feels the way you’re feeling, but deep down whether we want to see it that way or not, deep down we know that our moods and the energy that we tend to bring out, affects everyone that is near……

However when it comes to people and certain situations that’s giving you more of a cloud over your head, it doesn’t necessarily mean that person or situation is going to put the same cloud over everyone else’s head, the only thing that will affect everyone is the kind of energy that is being put out…..so if your energy isn’t the greatest and sucks (sorry, yet not sorry) as well as your attitude, It’s going to scatter out on everyone else……

The same way rain falls from the sky and unless you enjoy gloomy days (I do at times, not always, I enjoy rain though) I would avoid or at least minimize and not bother as much on the things, situations or people that really doesn’t keep you on at least a good neutral scale.

If it’s affecting you more than it should and it’s taking you away from having some kind of peace of mind, stop going out of your way to feed it, stop worrying about it, just take the Beatles advice and “Let It Be”

It’s not worth your energy, time or sanity……if we can be good at avoiding calls and messages to some people, than we can manage to not put ourselves in harms way with things that drives us up the wall. We have the ability to tune people out, which by the way isn’t always ideal, because it’s important to listen to people when something is being said, even if we don’t want to hear it and we’ve all been there and done that many times…..

Overall, don’t worry about things that aren’t your things to worry about, especially when it involves only you with a sword, just focus and worry about you, as well as the things and people that keep you grounded.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~