Self care…..Part 2 (Oct 10, 2019)

I’ve already written a part one on the talks of self care, hence why you’re reading part 2, part 1 was more of a personal kind of talk, while this one will hopefully be talked about differently, in honor of World Mental Health Day, which is today (now yesterday) in case some of you didn’t know, don’t worry I actually didn’t know myself so if you forget or just genuinely wasn’t aware it’s okay, no worries, now my first write about self care isn’t up just yet, i’m still looking it over and reading it, it should be up before you see this though or you might see this one first and that one second,

I’ll try and keep it in order so it doesn’t get confusing, but I just wanted to let you know about that. I wanted to try and talk a little more about the importance of self care, because I don’t think people take it much into consideration and take it as serious as it should be, i’ve already stated in my first post how I have trouble with this, self caring isn’t really a big strong suit of mine, I find it weird, but i’ve realized how important it is to look after yourself. When it comes to self care, it’s surprisingly really difficult to keep yourself well, it shouldn’t be, but it is…..for some reason when it comes to our own well being, it’s a thought that is far from our minds, why!?

Well that’s a question that probably crosses our mind, yet it’s also a question that we tend to ignore if it does, now i’m not going to pretend that I know exactly what i’m talking about, because I don’t, I don’t really know much when it comes to self care, so I wouldn’t be able to tell you the ins and outs to it all, I’m actually just now learning about it properly myself, while having to adjust to it as well…..the only thing that I can say with it is,

As much as it may not seem like a big thing, it totally and definitely 100% percent is a big thing, most of us however ignore that fact and just continue to go about everything as if we can handle it all when in reality, that’s not always possible, we all have our breaking points and we all need a time and space to be able to just not deal with things for a bit, it’s well needed you know!? but in all seriousness, it is important to make sure you’re good and well, especially when dealing with mental health, I don’t think this can be expressed enough, people don’t think that mental health is a serious issue, but it really is, if you’re not well mentally, you won’t be able to be well in other aspects that are needed, everything starts with your mind.

If your mind is upside down and is just a complete mess, it’ll start to effect everything else around you as well, that’s why it’s important to make sure anything and everything that is within your headspace is filled with things that aren’t going to be harmful to you, easier said then done I know, believe me, I have a hard time keeping this in mind too, I struggle with Anxiety so my head is always being filled with so much it’s ridiculous!!

Some days are better than most, while on other days it tends to heighten and go into overload, it’s like having a whole lot of emails in your inbox and as you go through them all, you find most of what’s in your inbox, is just junk mail and so you go to delete them, but you realize you have a lot of junk mail then you know what to do with and you’re trying to figure out the best way to just get rid of it all, but you don’t know where to start and what’s actually important, so you’re just sitting there going through them all and although your concentrating hard on those emails, inside you’re freaking out and losing your mind just trying to get through it all.

The only thing with this email inbox is, it’s an everyday process and it seems like it keeps piling and piling and you wish you didn’t have to deal with it, but unfortunately it doesn’t go away, however it is maintainable, but it does come with some emotional and physical side effects…..

Sorry I think I went away from the topic for a bit, getting back on track, keeping your headspace clear from all things harmful and negative is a tough tasks to accomplish, it’s not impossible, it’s just hard. Anxiety though isn’t the only mental health issue that people deal with on a daily basis, people also struggle with depression, bi-polar disorders, eating disorders and so many other forms of mental health issues that’s out there……

Anxiety and depression are the most talked about in the mental health world, but those aren’t the only ones that people go through, it’s important to look at other issues just as much as we look at Depression and Anxiety, on the statistic outlook scale (hopefully that made sense) although they have different effects and are formed differently, they still connect in the same way, because they all stem from our emotions and thoughts.

It’s hard to wrap our heads around what causes some of us to have more of an effect then others when it comes to dealing with mental health, we all know it has to do with our brains and having some parts unlatched and disconnected from the rest of whatever is going on inside our brains, but when it comes to the science of it, it’s still a little complicated understanding fully, at least it’s one that i’m unable to explain properly to you guys.

But let’s not complicate things here, as much as I love and enjoyed science back in school, still enjoy it actually, also yes I know mental health is a more psychology related topic, then actual science, however you still use science with psychology i’m pretty sure, so it’s still in the same boat technically, don’t actually quote me on it though, because I know nothing alright.

Back to self care, because that’s what we were talking about here, it’s important to take care of yourself, plain and simple, I know it can be hard to take your focus away from everything and keep yourself from stressing and getting overwhelmed and that, but you have to know when to slow down and take a break at times so your able to function properly through the days, if you stop yourself from taking the time that you need to reboot and recharge you’ll end up crashing and breaking down to the point where you’ll find it extremely difficult to get back to where you left off…..

You don’t ever want to have it get to that point, so you have to try and keep a balance with everything, this coming from a girl where the word balance is nowhere near her daily vocabulary, it’s not even on a list, with that being said, self care is something we all have to try and practice, especially when it’s something that we aren’t really used to, it can be a challenge, but it doesn’t mean that it’s something not worth giving a chance, I mean it shouldn’t even be considered as an option, self care should be taken as an everyday kind of thing, but knowing how most of us operate……

We’re not always going to be able to look after ourselves the way we normally should, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still take care of ourselves. If we can’t commit to self care everyday, we should at least try and pick certain days throughout the week plus the weekend where we look at what we’re lacking or need improving on and do our best to work at that as much as we’re able to, so for example:

If you’re the type who struggles to relax or you don’t know how to, finding ways and practicing relaxation can help you to learn to take it easy a little bit more, plus it’ll keep your stress levels down while giving you the ability to clear away a good amount of headspace so your able to focus better.

This is something that I need to really practice a whole lot, because I don’t do that often, I would rather stress myself out then relax, that’s how much I give myself a break on things I feel I need to do better at, yeah…..but there’s a lot of ways to self care i’m sure and keep the chaos from becoming too chaotic, mental health and self care, should always go hand in hand, there should always be a balance between them, because without one, the other wouldn’t know what to do, so it helps to keep them together so that way you feel at ease, if not entirely, at least you know you’ll feel a little better with it.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

2 Weeks Away, Almost 3….

How’s everyone doing these days, hope well!! Now I know what some of you are probably thinking, “Where have you been!?” and if you aren’t thinking that well then, that’s okay, but I will sorta explain why I haven’t written anything new for the past 2 to almost 3 weeks, I think the longest i’ve went not posting is about a few days maybe a week, this times a new record, we surpassed a week of not posting, can we get an hurrah!?

No i’m kidding, I haven’t posted on here for a reason, you see i’ve been away due to my brain thinking a lot mainly on where i’m going or want to go at least……there’s a lot of things that I haven’t really expressed on here, I might do that one day, not sure when exactly, but one day……

I still haven’t gained that much courage to do so just yet. Now even though I haven’t written and posted anything new on my blog in a good while, I have been still writing, just more handwriting then typing, i’m actually close to filling one of my journals, not quite finished, but it’s getting there i’d say.

So yeah, i’ve been trying to really think on what I want to do (career wise) this isn’t anything new really, it’s something that i’ve been switching back and forth with for a good while now, i’ve just been putting it off for a good amount of time and you know what that’s no one else’s fault but mine, you think you’re fine with something, but then realize you’re not.

So yeah there’s that for one……i’ve also been trying to get better at certain things…..still sorta working on that……i’m kinda feeling a bit of stress and pressure and that’s me doing that to myself because I really want to get somewhere and feel good about it, I mean we all do don’t we!?

There’s a lot let’s just say, but i’m doing my best to work it all out so I could move forward from where i’ve always been stood, if that makes sense!?

I must say this has got to be the most i’ve written in a while on here, which is surprising for some reason, because normally I write a lot, in my journals at least, i’m not sure how often i’ll be posting on here, I kinda purposely stepped away from here just so I can get my head straight and that, plus i’ve been wanting to make this blog better and i’m not sure in what way I want to do that, maybe it’ll be more personal or something, i’m not sure yet.

Hopefully it’ll all just happen naturally, but yeah that’s just a bit of an update I guess you can say, I don’t know what else to say, I hope you’re all doing well and having a good day sorry it’s taken me a few weeks to write, I kinda felt as though I didn’t have much to say so I didn’t, I have missed it though I won’t say I didn’t, i’m always on here believe it or not haha……

That’s all I have for now, but I will post something again soon, maybe not this week or maybe, who know, I might surprise you and post something one of these days or during the weekend, i’ll go based on if I feel I want to say something or how i’m feeling, right now it’s just how things are going,

But you guys enjoy the rest of your day or night depending on what time of day it is where you are and i’ll write to you guys again soon.

P.S. Since we’re coming to the closing days of Summer I thought i’d share something I made a while ago, I was meant to post it, but never did…..

All The Love ❤ < 3

~Lexa~

Lets Talk Mental Health: Eating Disorders And The Return Of Eugenia Cooney (Long Post)

Quick Note: I started this on the 20th of July, but had to do some more looking over and that, some of my original thoughts I kept in and some I added, I also removed some that I felt weren’t needed, I did my best on this topic so I hope it came out okay and I hope you enjoy the read.

Okay so this is a bit of a hard topic to discuss, i’m not sure how this post is going to turn out, but hopefully it comes out okay…….just a bit of a disclaimer warning, the topic that will be discussed in this post has to do with Eating Disorders so if this is a very sensitive topic for some of you out there and a bit triggering, I understand not wanting to read on, but if you’re comfortable and are okay reading upon this topic then by all means do so…..

When it comes to Mental Health a lot of people don’t really take it as seriously as it should or needs to be and it’s sad because, it’s important to treat it seriously, just because it’s not physical doesn’t mean there’s no effect and that it’s not still harmful……

There’s many different mental health disorders out there, although they’re different, they still share the same effect inside, however there are some that are much more dangerous than others, one of them being Eating Disorders…….i’ll be honest here, I don’t really know too much when it comes to eating disorders, but I have learned a bit about it,

By looking into it a little to get a better understanding and even getting some insights on what it’s like dealing with it and from the knowings of it and the effects it can have on you, lets just say it’s a real tough road walking down, especially when it comes to the recovery process of it.

Now i’m not sure how serious people take Eating Disorders, you would think it’d be one of the topics that is talked about a lot, but when you really think about it, we don’t really hear that much on it, which is a bit surprising because it’s something that should be payed more attention to.

Now I want to talk properly about this, because there’s a lot of things to eating disorders that not many are aware of, most people have a stereotype on it, which isn’t really fair because there are things with it that you won’t know unless you personally lived it, which a lot of us haven’t, but there are some that have or are living it right now and we don’t even know…..

What we may see it as, is completely different to what it actually is like, now my reasoning for wanting to talk upon this topic is for a few reasons, but also because of a video that I watched a few days ago, that was sent to me by my boyfriend who……well had a very similar experience with it…..

I won’t express too much on it though as it’s his story to tell, but he did say it was okay to talk about how he’s been though something similar to the story here……the video that i’ll be giving some insight on is about a Youtuber by the name of Eugenia Cooney, not sure how many of you exactly know of her, maybe you know her well or have just heard about her……a few days ago, Shane Dawson (another Youtuber) made a video on Eugenia,

I don’t know how familiar some of you are with Shane or if you even watch any of his videos, but he has a few series that he does, one of them is focused on helping people and sometimes even going back and revisiting pasts things that he hasn’t really been able to face before, it’s pretty good, i’ve watched a hand full of them……this specific video however, discusses Eugenia and her struggles with her Eating Disorder…….

I gotta say, this video has to be one of the most serious videos, Shane’s ever done and he’s made quite a lot…….I don’t know a whole lot about Eugenia Cooney, i’ve heard of her and have seen her before, but i’ve never actually watched any of her videos…..watching this video though, i’ll admit was really hard, it was also very emotional, I held my breath a lot watching it.

It’s kinda tough to describe this video, I feel it’s something you have to watch for yourself in order to really understand the situation and everything with it, but what I will say, is that you learn a lot from this while gaining insights to what it’s like for those who suffer from eating disorders, as well as learn on the different types of eating disorders and what kind of things happen with those types, if that makes sense!?

There’s a lot of mixed emotions in this video, although it’s very serious, there’s also some pretty nice light hearted and good moments within it as well, there was a few moments in the video that were a bit hard to watch, one of the moments was when they would show Eugenia’s videos….

Now I don’t know if it was a streaming kind of video that she did or a live chat event, but there was this girl and i’m not going to say what she said because you’ll see it in the video if you watch it, but…..

She started off with a very sweet and lovely comment to Eugenia letting her know how pretty she is which was really nice…..a few moments later however, she said something that…..probably shouldn’t have been said, it was that uncomfortable of a moment that I had to actually pause the video.

I mean i’m sure the girl didn’t intend for what she said to come out the way it did or anything, I mean you knew she was a fan of Eugenia and that she cared, she sounded like a very lovely girl, but I don’t think she understood by her saying what she did especially LIVE, the way she did……really set with Eugenia, like you could literally see the change of expression on her face and her eyes, it was one of the toughest moments to see in the video…..

Sometimes we don’t realize the things we say, as well as the way we say them, to us it may not be that bad…..however to others it’s a whole different story, especially when you see or know someone is going through something difficult that they may not be able to see or may not even know about……it’s important to really think about that kind of thing.

If you know or see someone isn’t well or they’re just getting well again, take a moment to really think about the things you’re saying before you find the words coming out of your mouth…….but i’m sure the girl didn’t mean harm with it, so no blame game here, sometimes we make mistakes, even if it’s the tiniest of ones, it happens, it’s just live and learn that’s all.

There were other moments that were a bit hard to watch, but a specific moment that I also wanted to talk about was not one that was hard to watch per say, but one that made me a bit nervous and that was when it came to Shane asking Eugenia questions on everything…..in the beginning of the video, there was this lady I can’t remember her name, but she was explaining to Shane the different questions you shouldn’t ask someone dealing with an eating disorder and the things you shouldn’t say to them…..

Watching the whole video, I was just nervous, thinking to myself “I hope the questions he’s asking are alright” luckily it all went well with the questions, even though the topic of it was hard as well.

I liked how comfortable Shane made Eugenia feel when he visited her and talked to her, it was real nice, i’m sure she was very nervous about doing this whole thing and talking about it as well, but it was good to see that there wasn’t any awkward moments with it.

There was a lot of moments that were very interesting to learn about within the video, if you want to check that out for yourself to get a better insight about Eating Disorders I linked it for you guys, it’s worth watching.

Watch the video here: The Return Of Eugenia Cooney

Continuing on the topic of Eating Disorders as a whole…..I can’t really say what exactly it’s like dealing with it, because i’ve never actually experienced it before, for people who have dealt with the disorder or are dealing with it now even, I know it’s not an easy topic to talk about it.

This is a real issue that shouldn’t be overlooked…….there are a lot of people who are secretly suffering with this and aren’t asking for help and that kind of thing is scary, because even though they aren’t directly asking for help, in way they are, only they’re going to say it…….

Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s going on in these kind of situations and unless you’re very close to someone, you won’t really see it, you might get hints here and there, but it’s not going to be something you catch on to right away……learning a bit about it, i’ve learned that people who suffer with eating disorders are really good at hiding it, again you may think you’re able to catch on to it quickly, but that’s not always the case.

Something i’d like to point out is that, when we think of eating disorders, our brains naturally and automatically think females suffer from it and that’s because it always been seen as and I know this is probably the wrong way to quote it and I apologize in advance, but it’s always just been seen as a “Female thing only”

When in fact that is faaar from the truth…..on the stereotype side of town, it’s like that, if you only knew the half of it though….because if you did, you’d find out males suffer from it too, maybe even more, we wouldn’t know about that though because a lot of the males that do suffer with an eating disorder, don’t speak up about it and that’s because there’s already a perspective on it, which isn’t right……

When you think of other disorders such as anxiety, depression, bi-polar disorder all those things, it’s not just seen as a one sided thing, any person, guy or girl can suffer from them, yet when it comes to eating disorders, it’s only looked at on the females perspective and maybe that has to do with the fact that more females speak up on it, however that doesn’t mean that it should be normalized as just females go through it because that’s not true.

Males that suffer with an eating disorder, don’t really get taken that seriously causing most of them to suffer in silence when they shouldn’t have to……I don’t want to say it’s an image thing, however it kinda is in a way, which is sad because it shouldn’t be like that, we shouldn’t have it where if a male is struggling with an eating disorder they shouldn’t come out about it…….not trying to go away from the topic, but I will for a second,

Only because it’s the same as if someone was being abused, majority of the time, people will only see it from a girls perspective when in fact guys also get abused……yet we don’t talk about that and sometimes that can be one of the main factors of an eating disorder starting because of the way they’ve been treated before, but my point to this though is just like girls,

Guys too can be affect by it, just because we don’t hear much about it, doesn’t mean it’s not happening……we aren’t the only ones that go through rough times, although guys are built to be strong and protect and all that, we need to understand that they too have feelings and they also go through these kind of issues. We shouldn’t be shutting them out and making them feel as though if they do suffer from any sort of disorder or other things in general that they shouldn’t be allowed to share it or speak up about it.

It’s important to not only treat these kind of things seriously, but also treat each individual the same way, especially when dealing and suffering with things like eating disorders and that, everyone should have a right to express they’re emotions and feelings as well as things they’re going through.

We should never make someone feel as though their feelings don’t matter or that the issues they’re dealing with aren’t as important as someone else’s……there’s a lot to learn with this topic, things that may be seen as simple, aren’t always and when it comes to things we think we know on this topic or even someone, there’s a high chance that we have no clue, what we say and how we say it does have an affect, even when we see it as harmless.

Final Thoughts: We don’t know what people are going through and with this kind of thing it’s really important that we take it seriously and try to help in the best way possible, even if we aren’t sure how…….

If you know or sense someone close to you or someone you think needs help is suffering help them, try and be there for them, talk to them and if you’re worried or you aren’t sure what to do, there are people that can help and there’s even numbers to call.

If someone out there is reading this and is suffering with an eating disorder or recovering from one (GUY OR GIRL) know that everything is going to be okay and that there are people that can help you get better, I know it won’t seem like it, but you aren’t alone and again if you’re a guy or a girl whose just starting to recover or have successfully recovered,

I’m proud of you and i’m sure those around you, are proud of you as well (although I don’t know many of you) still, I know it’s a hard road you’re walking or have had to walk before and I know that even though there maybe some of you who have fought through this, I know that the journey of it will never be over as it sticks with you for life, but even though that maybe so, you should be very proud of yourself, not only for how far you came from it,

but also because you went through it and are still going through it, but have stayed strong and continued on, I know it’s not the easiest thing and I know that for some of you, there might even be a time where you fall into a relapse with it, but just know if that does occur don’t feel ashamed about it and don’t think that you did wrong, because you didn’t, you’re not weak or anything like that, it’s just a rebuild and process thing, but it’ll all be alright.

If there are people out there who have had someone in their life relapse or know someone whose relapsed, don’t scold them about it…..reassure them and let them know that you’re there for them, support and love them through those times, because believe me they’re already beating themselves up about it, they don’t need scolding or any of that, all they need is love and support.

There’s still a whole lot more to eating disorders than i’m able to explain, this was just my observation and thoughts on it from what I learned, again i’m no expert and have no experienced with it, the only people that can really tell you what it’s like dealing with it and the situation with it as a whole are the ones that have or are going through it……

If you have any thoughts you want to share or add to any knowledge that you think I should know on the topic of eating disorders go ahead, if there’s something I said wrong or messed up on, please do let me know, in the best way possible of course, I really would like to understand this better.

Last thing, if any of you out there, need a place to go to chat or anything like that, you don’t have to, but you’re more than welcome to here, but if you’re wanting or looking for a bit more help, here’s a few links to websites that might just be what you need and for those who want to understand more about this as well, I left some links for you as too.

  1. Better Help
  2. NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association)
  3. Alsana
  4. Understanding Male Eating Disorders
  5. Males And Eating Disorders

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Feelings….. (July 18, 2019)

We all have them, sometimes we wish we didn’t, but then we wouldn’t really be human would we!? Here’s the thing……sometimes we let our own feelings get in the way of how other people feel, we may not try to do it intentionally, but sometimes we end up doing it unconsciously knowing creating a bit of a mess……although we have our own issues and problems to sort through, doesn’t mean we should ignore everyone’s else’s.

It’s okay to take time to work through your own feelings and emotions, but when it’s the only thing we focus on, we tend to fail at acknowledging how someone else maybe feeling, which is important because we don’t know half of the things that people go through or deal with alone.

We say we listen and that we understand but do we really!? Believe it or not besides communication, listening and understanding (as well as other things) are the two main things that are needed in order to build a healthy and better relationship with someone, whether it’s romanic, non romantic, a friendship kind of relationship whatever, it’s important to take others emotions and feelings into account…..

Really thinking about it, it’s no wonder, most people separate from other people or keep things to themselves……we as humans aren’t the best people these days, especially when it comes to communicating, listening and understanding someone, we’re so wrapped up in ourselves and our own life, that we will just brush off anything that doesn’t revolve around our own feelings which can be quite selfish at times.

We shouldn’t be telling people to go away because we have our own things to worry about or we just aren’t feeling what their feeling, sometimes we need people or we just want to talk to someone, whether it’s a serious topic or a random one, telling someone to go away or to stop talking, causes a lot of the issues that we encounter in day to day life…….

When I was younger I used to get told all the time to stop talking so much or that something else was more important than expressing something that I wanted to express, so I know what that feels like…..the feeling of wanting to talk to someone, but being told to go away or being ignored when your saying something, it hurts….

It’s no wonder people keep things to themselves these days, I mean really who can they talk to if people don’t want to listen!? It’s why most of us develop or have some kind of mental illness, we bottle things up because we feel we have to or we think if we talk about what we’re feeling no ones going to really listen or understand anyway so why even bother!?

A lot of the time we don’t even take mental illnesses serious, even though we should because it’s one of the things that can be harmful to someones life, if not taken seriously enough, that kind of thing should never be ignored, but overall dealing with feelings, stress, thoughts anything…..

It’s not just us dealing with it, there’s always someone going through a rougher time, dismissing or skipping over how someone else feels, will only cause them to closed themselves in more and not express how they’re really feeling and if they do try to express their emotions and thoughts, they’re going to think twice about it because they don’t know if it’s okay and that they should or if it’s just going to be a waste of their time.

People can be very stubborn and not realize that, they’re not the only ones that hurt, we don’t take in other peoples feelings the way we should and it’s because of that, people will tend to distance themselves or drift away, it’s not always because they want to, sometimes it’s because they feel they can’t talk to anyone or that no ones going to listen, other times it’s fear of being rejected or that their just bothering people…….

Sometimes the best way to really know how someone is feeling is to ask them directly and not in a forceful way, genuinely ask them, how their doing and if they’re okay and want to talk, if they don’t want to talk right away give them a bit of time and try and ask again later, sometimes you have to go out of your way in order to really understand someone one, even if they don’t want to talk, try to listen and understand how their feeling,

Without criticizing them and trying to add your input in, if their expressing why it is they feel the way they do and are talking to you about it, listen!! If they say “this is how I feel and i’m telling you this is why i’m feeling it” don’t say “okay this is how your feeling, this is what I think” (sorry to say it this way, but it’s the only way it’s going to come out )

DON’T ADD YOUR INPUT……unless they ask for it and if or when they do, try and be understanding with it, help them sort through their feelings and or thoughts and help them come up with a solution to help them get through it. When expressing our thoughts and feelings, all we want and need is someone to just listen and understand…..

Just like when we are needing for someone to listen to us, we should be able to do the same for other people who are needing it, we should never make someone feel like they can’t talk about their own issues or express themselves, especially when their trying to express on something serious.

Whether we like what we’re hearing or not, we shouldn’t go shutting down other people’s emotions, we’re human and one of the things we are born with is compassion and if we can’t bother to really hear someone out when they’re begging for it secretly or desperately wanting someone to talk to, that says a lot about who we are and it’s not good……

We all have feelings and stresses in life, but we can still take time to try and get to know, as well as listen and understand someone.

Instead of judging someone and assuming all kinds of things and that, ASK!! if you really want to know or are curious on how someones doing or what’s going on in their life, just ask them, you might get a lot more out of them than asking someone else about it……

P.S. Sorry if this came out jumping at you haha, didn’t mean for that, I just had a lot to get out and this was the only way I guess I was able to get it out, hope you’re all doing well and having a good day!!

All The Love ❤ < 3

~Lexa~

Let’s Talk Video Games: Missed Messages (July 5, 2019)

The other day I was watching one of my favorite gaming channels Jacksepticeye (well I watch him quite a lot actually) you might remember me talking about him before or you might not, he’s quite the entertainer, his content is very interesting and he has a very unique and great personality!! He not only plays video games, but he also has original content that is a little more intimate, by that I mean not video game type videos,

but more the kind that make you laugh when you’re having a rough day and need something to pick you up. Some people like him and others tend to stay clear of him because of personality and how weird he is, but I don’t think he’s that bad, but everyone has their own view on things and that is perfectly fine, I still enjoy his content, but anyway……

Let’s talk about the game, I don’t really know how to introduce the game to, because it’s on the serious part of town…..the name of the game is called Missed Messages and it’s a pretty deep and interesting kind of game…..

It’s based around self harm and suicide, but has other things to it as well that is a little more lighthearted, although it is pretty sensitive, so if you don’t want to get into those topics that’s okay, the game does warn you with any possible triggers before playing the game, but for some who are interested in seeing what the game is like, I would say check it out,

I don’t really know how to describe the game, so i’m just going to let it speak for itself, so if you do watch it you’ll understand it a lot better, i’ll leave it in case you are curious to seeing how the gameplay is. It’s actually pretty nice from the looks of it, it’s one of those choice based games to see the different outcomes to the story, but with a deeper meaning to it of course…..

It has a pretty cool art style to it as well, when you first look at it, it’s pretty calming and chilled, but the more you get into the story, it does get pretty intense……but the reason I bring up this game, is the message that comes with it.

It shows you just how much you don’t know, when it comes to someone and what they’re thoughts are, they could seem fine, yet you wouldn’t know that deep down, that’s not exactly how their feeling, unless you really get to know them and just talk to them. People are so used to keeping things bottled in and because they’re so used to it, they have trouble asking for help or just opening up alone about things in general….

We’ve all been there, where if there’s something we’re struggling with or dealing with, we keep it to ourselves thinking we can handle it and adding our problems onto someone else, even though it shouldn’t be a worry or they may not have a problem with you coming to them,

You still think of it as being a burden in a way and so we chose to just keep to ourselves to avoid adding to their problems even if we are secretly needing a bit of comfort or reassurance.

It’s easy to have a simple conversation when it comes to things you might have in common with someone or something random and that……but when it has to do with a problem or something that is hard to talk about that’s when it becomes difficult and where people start to shut down and sometimes that’s dangerous if you’re not careful, in many different ways.

However it isn’t always dangerous, some people just prefer to be alone and stay to themselves, which is fine, there’s nothing wrong with that, but sometimes it’s good to see how people are from time to time, because you don’t always know what they’re dealing with and the kind of struggles they’re going through, even if you aren’t sure what to do,

Just showing them that you’re there if they need you and even sitting with them in silence would probably mean so much, sometimes not saying anything is better than trying to say something, most of the time all people really need is comfort and reassurance and just for someone to be there.

Final Thoughts: Just by watching the gameplay, it looks like a pretty great game to play or check out, I don’t really play games as often as I used to and when I did, it was mainly on my Xbox One or my 3Ds, sometimes my tablet too although I rarely play with it now…..but this game is something I think should be given a try and if you don’t want to play it, i’d say it’s worth checking out, there’s so much more to it than just the art style…….

You get a lot of realness and emotion from it as well, believe me it’s worth the time and understanding with the message that it’s trying to share with everyone, even Jack shares his thoughts on it, as well as knowing that kind of struggle that is talked about in the game, so if you’re willing, seriously check it out, I think you’ll find it very interesting and maybe even helpful too.

Here’s the game if you want to check it out: Missed Messages if it’s too much while you’re watching it remember you don’t have to continue, but if you do continue I hope you enjoy the story and gameplay of it!! If there’s anyone who is having a hard time and wants to talk, could be about anything, music, favorite tv shows or you need someone to just vent to a little, you’re more than welcome to here, i’ll be happy to be an ear for you.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Topic Of The Day: Why Is It That Our Voices Sound Weird To Us Then To Others!? (Inspired Blog Post)

Hey there everyone hope you’re all having a lovely day, so today’s blog post is gonna be a little different, normally when I go to write a new blog post I normally don’t know what to write about, today however I do, while I was having my coffee I went and watched some youtube videos just to kinda start off my day a bit and one video caught my attention, it was very interesting and I learned a lot from it, if you are interested in watching the video you can watch it here: Why You Don’t Like The Sound Of Your Own Voice

The speaker touching upon this topic is named Rébecca Kleinberger in the video she talks about the way our voices are and why we don’t like the sound of our own when we hear it back recorded. Did you know that our voices change depending on who we’re speaking to!? Also the way our voices are can determine a whole lot of different things such as depression, certain diseases and just a whole lot of interesting stuff. She also talked about how Alexa the device can tell when you’re pregnant before you even know based off your voice!! that probably sounds weird and you’re probably like “yeah okay” but seriously watch the video she’ll explain it better than I can, when I heard that I was like “WAIT WHAT…….SERIOUSLY!? ” everything she discussed when explaining how our voices are, really had my mind going. Who would’ve thought that just based on our voices so much can be detected and figured out!? That is some mind-blowing stuff there.

The reason I wanted to talk about this was because she also talked about how our voices the way we hear them, is completely different to how everyone else hears them as we all know, but what really had me go “Huh, I didn’t know that” (well there was a lot of different things that made me say that haha) but the main thing that caught my attention was when she talked about how when our voices are being recorded and we hear it back, it sounds weird to us, which is very true. I remember the first time I recorded a video of myself singing and hearing my voice back, was the weirdest thing to me because when you sing whether it’s your profession or just for fun, hearing it out loud whether you have a good singing voice or not is different to when you hear it on video or just when listening to it through audio, it can also be the same when you’re just talking.

Whenever I would record a video for my channel with just me speaking, it still sounded weird to me and I always thought…..”Is that what I sound like, why is my voice so deep!?” (my voice being so deep was the main thing though) it always just sounded like a completely different person to me. I remember I would ask my friends how my voice sounds when i’m talking to them and they never could give me an answer, it would always just be one of those what do you mean kind of questions and i’d explain to them how deep my voice was to me when I would speak to them on the phone in person. To them though my voice sounded fine, so i’d always say that maybe it was just me.

I would always still wonder why it was, my voice sounded so weird when being recorded to when i’m just speaking and from listening and taking in what Rébecca (the speaker) was explaining, I found out why that is, the way she explain it was we have, 3 different kinds of voices, outward voice, inward voice and inner voice. I hope i’m not confusing you, i’m trying my best to explain what she was saying in my own words, so I hope i’m coming across okay.

She also talked about how, the way we hear our own voice, she described it as having a mask on and trying to see that mask (more like hear since we’re talking about voices) but not having much luck seeing it, due to the fact that when we try to see the front of the mask, we just end up seeing the inside of it. She then explained how our inner voice is pretty much the puppeteer behind our outward and inward voice and how our brains don’t really pay any mind to our voice, if that make sense, for example think of it like this: You’re talking to someone, be it friend or someone you just met and you’re having this conversation right, yet you feel like you’re just talking to yourself and when you ask that person if they’re listening to you they go “yeah I hear you” and then you go, “yeah i know, but are you listening though!?” that’s what our brain does it hears the voice we speak, but doesn’t actually listen to it, it’s quite funny to think about because you would think your brain would be listening to you, only to find out it’s not, I hope i’m explaining everything okay, i’m trying really hard to make sense here, but i’m not sure if I am haha.

What I was trying to get at was how amazing it is knowing that a lot can be picked up just based off the sound of our voices and how different it is to us when we hear it being recorded compared to just talking normally, as well as to how other people hear it. There was another thing that she said and what she said was because our voice is something we hear the most, we actually hear it less, which can be very confusing to a lot of people, but it has to do with the way we hear it within ourselves compared to when it’s being projected out in the air, I can’t really explain it well so i’ll let her explain that part. It’s amazing though, it really is!! You don’t really think about stuff like that because it’s just  something you do casually, so you don’t really pay that much attention to it, but when you really look at it from that side of town you find that there’s always so much more to something and that right there is incredible.

There was a whole lot that she spoke on, but the last thing I want to talk about that I learned was how when it comes to our inner voice, we all know that sometimes it’s impossible to turn it off at times, but for some it’s much more difficult to stop which is why people with schizophrenia deal with all the emotions that they do, because they aren’t able to make out the difference voices coming from inside and outside their heads and with that kind of information you kinda are given a glimpse to the way their minds work knowing they aren’t able to tell the difference between their inner and outward voices and with that it can also give you a different perspective on the mental illness they go through on a daily basis.

I really enjoyed that video, it was actually quite interesting to learn because again you wouldn’t normally think about why our voices sound different to us compared to when others are hearing it, along with how our voices can pretty much tell you a lot about yourself…….it’s weird and fascinating at the same time, but yeah I enjoyed that a lot, anyway that’s my blog post for today just something different, fun, interesting at least I hope it was ha.

Tell me what you’re thoughts are on this topic!? Did you find it interesting, Did you not, did you already know some of this, feel free to share your thoughts. I just wanted to touch up on this topic because it was very interesting to me and I wanted to share this with you guys and just talk about it, but yeah I hope you enjoyed it, anyway I hope you all are having a good day and I hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening.

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

 

Dear Little Me……

Dear Little Me,

I hope your doing okay, it’s been a while since you and I enjoyed times together you know……i’m not really sure what it is I want to say to you, but i’ve been thinking about you lately, I think about you all the time actually…….I always wonder if the things i’m doing are the right things for you……i’m gonna be honest with you because you deserve that, I feel I haven’t been doing us proud when it comes to helping you achieve more in life, I want to say i’m doing so much to make sure you’re happy and are enjoying yourself but I don’t think I am……and……I want to apologize to you for that, because you deserve to have good things, you deserve to be happy and to really see everything. I sit to myself a lot and go back and forth wondering if i’m making you proud to be me older…….I wish I was able to know what you think of me now…….

We’ve been through so much in our lives, we had to literally fight to be here and a lot of people don’t know that, some do, but others don’t……….a lot of people didn’t think we’d make it, but we did and that’s all because of the fight you put up for us to be here, i’ll tell you one thing you are a whole lot stronger and tougher than me for sure ha………the crazy part is i’m you older and I can’t even say that for myself now and i’m sorry for that, i’m sorry for putting so much stress on you, i’m sorry for not letting you reach your full potential when I know that you could be great, but most importantly i’m so sorry for neglecting you when I knew that you needed me………I didn’t mean to do that to you, you didn’t deserve that, especially when all you ever did was fight for us to be here………you were always a very happy person no matter what was happening and you were always the type of person who wanted to do her own thing even when people didn’t understand it……..I may not have told you this, but I always admired that about you.

You’ve helped me discover a lot of different things about us, like for one, did you know that we have a knack for editing!? We didn’t even learn from watching someone else, we just kinda picked it up ourselves after having to do a portfolio on our projects in school, it was a simple thing, but we made it more than simple and we we’re proud of it, although you did have me try and find a song for it first and you know what i’m glad you did because even our teacher thought it was good even though it was simple. She even admitted to being hard on us because she saw potential in our abilities which was surprising to hear, but it was also pretty nice to hear as well. Did you know that you became obsessed with journals…….yeah you have a few actually (17 to be exact) and they are all for different things, we really love writing, speaking of writing we started a blog last month and it’s actually growing too, I guess all the topics we love to talk about are really helping people and it’s helping us as well I think……..we haven’t written anything new though it’s been a few days, that would be my fault though, I kinda took us away from it, as I tend to always do with everything that we start………..

You always guide us to do things and you have us get to a good point and then I go and ruin any chance we had at making it really bloom and grow……..I don’t know what my problem is and why I keep doing that to you……..all you ever wanted was to be able to express yourself, while trying to have fun and while we’re enjoying ourselves, if we were lucky we’d help and make someone else’s day because we were just being us. I always wonder where you’ve gone because I know you’re still around, but you also hide away and I don’t know why!? Is it because of me, are you unhappy because i’m making you unhappy by the way i’m doing things!? if that’s what it is……..i’m really sorry……..I never meant to turn you this way and make you unhappy, all I ever did was try and make you very happy and I feel like I failed you in a way and I never intended to do that………I really miss you, you know!?…….I miss how you gave me confidence and how you didn’t care what anyone thought of you, because you always stood true to what you were, you didn’t care how weird you were or how much you spoke, you just enjoyed the moments.

You always laughed at everything and sure you were a little too sensitive for a lot of things, but that’s because you stayed firm to what you believed in, plus you had a different sense of humor to those who thought certain things were funny, your sense of humor was laughing at everything that didn’t make any sense to laugh at, expect certain things which I never understood and still don’t, but the thought of you just being happy and laughing at things that to most wasn’t funny, made me the happiest……..I always think back on when we were younger and how we’d play by ourselves with our dolls and make up stories for them, in all honesty we’d find anything that entertained us to play with, we were very weird, still are actually, but that’s because we we were always just happy and so full of life……….you always tried to be friends with everyone and always wanted to be around people even when they didn’t always liked being around you, even when that happened though you still made the most of each day……

After a while though we kinda started to become very quiet and to ourselves because of the fact we got so use to being alone and so when it came to being around people you didn’t mind it, you enjoyed hanging out with people, but as we got older we started spending our time with certain people, is that a bad thing, no I don’t think it is, it’s just the way we are and some people may not like it, but it’s not about them, it’s about you and me. There’s a lot of things I could go over here about you, but all I really……I guess want to say is 1. i’m really sorry for abandoning you and not taking care of you as I should have, we we’re literally inseparable and you always made me stay true to who we were for so long and I kinda forgot about that and i’m really sorry 2. I miss you and how happy and excited you got every time something brought you joy, knowing we were happy made everyday a little better even when we didn’t have the best of days, we always tried to make the most of it…….There’s a lot of things though that we’ve adapted into our lives that we once didn’t have, the main thing being Anxiety we found out that we had it at a late age (late teens) and we battle through it everyday, i’m not gonna lie to you little me, although we don’t get it everyday when it does hit us, it hits us pretty hard, but we need to keep in mind that, it doesn’t define us okay, we are who we choose to be……..

Sure we may live with being anxious a lot more often then we’d like, but we have the power to let it consume us or fight against it and i’ll always do my best to make sure we fight against it more than i’ve been doing lately……there’s a lot more I can tell you, but this would be a very long blog post, I mean it’s already 1,368 words in and still counting. The main thing I want to say to you though was how sorry I am for how I treated you, I shouldn’t have done that to you and i’m gonna do my very best to make sure that from here on forth I make you proud to be me older in the best way that I can, because I don’t ever want to let you down again if I did, I hope that you can forgive me and that you come around a little more and help us achieve what it is we want to achieve without hesitation and with a bit more confidence because I want to make sure I do you well this time and know that you’re happy again……..I will do my best to only focus on all things positive and all things good, so that you can feel okay and feel safe, we can do it and we will, we just need to believe more in ourselves and build our confidence again……..

That’s everything I want to say to you I guess, hope you’re doing alright and I want you to always keep this in mind, you are worth every struggle we had to go through and all the things you blamed yourself for isn’t your fault, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, we got this far together who says we can’t continue on, we will get where we want to be…….we just have to work hard towards it and it maybe a bit scary, but we can do it…….I know we can, together we can do anything that we put our minds to, we just have to keep remembering why it is we started in the first place and then keep going every time.

 

 

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

A.K.A. Your Older Self

 

(Originally Written Aug 17th)