Self care…..Part 2 (Oct 10, 2019)

I’ve already written a part one on the talks of self care, hence why you’re reading part 2, part 1 was more of a personal kind of talk, while this one will hopefully be talked about differently, in honor of World Mental Health Day, which is today (now yesterday) in case some of you didn’t know, don’t worry I actually didn’t know myself so if you forget or just genuinely wasn’t aware it’s okay, no worries, now my first write about self care isn’t up just yet, i’m still looking it over and reading it, it should be up before you see this though or you might see this one first and that one second,

I’ll try and keep it in order so it doesn’t get confusing, but I just wanted to let you know about that. I wanted to try and talk a little more about the importance of self care, because I don’t think people take it much into consideration and take it as serious as it should be, i’ve already stated in my first post how I have trouble with this, self caring isn’t really a big strong suit of mine, I find it weird, but i’ve realized how important it is to look after yourself. When it comes to self care, it’s surprisingly really difficult to keep yourself well, it shouldn’t be, but it is…..for some reason when it comes to our own well being, it’s a thought that is far from our minds, why!?

Well that’s a question that probably crosses our mind, yet it’s also a question that we tend to ignore if it does, now i’m not going to pretend that I know exactly what i’m talking about, because I don’t, I don’t really know much when it comes to self care, so I wouldn’t be able to tell you the ins and outs to it all, I’m actually just now learning about it properly myself, while having to adjust to it as well…..the only thing that I can say with it is,

As much as it may not seem like a big thing, it totally and definitely 100% percent is a big thing, most of us however ignore that fact and just continue to go about everything as if we can handle it all when in reality, that’s not always possible, we all have our breaking points and we all need a time and space to be able to just not deal with things for a bit, it’s well needed you know!? but in all seriousness, it is important to make sure you’re good and well, especially when dealing with mental health, I don’t think this can be expressed enough, people don’t think that mental health is a serious issue, but it really is, if you’re not well mentally, you won’t be able to be well in other aspects that are needed, everything starts with your mind.

If your mind is upside down and is just a complete mess, it’ll start to effect everything else around you as well, that’s why it’s important to make sure anything and everything that is within your headspace is filled with things that aren’t going to be harmful to you, easier said then done I know, believe me, I have a hard time keeping this in mind too, I struggle with Anxiety so my head is always being filled with so much it’s ridiculous!!

Some days are better than most, while on other days it tends to heighten and go into overload, it’s like having a whole lot of emails in your inbox and as you go through them all, you find most of what’s in your inbox, is just junk mail and so you go to delete them, but you realize you have a lot of junk mail then you know what to do with and you’re trying to figure out the best way to just get rid of it all, but you don’t know where to start and what’s actually important, so you’re just sitting there going through them all and although your concentrating hard on those emails, inside you’re freaking out and losing your mind just trying to get through it all.

The only thing with this email inbox is, it’s an everyday process and it seems like it keeps piling and piling and you wish you didn’t have to deal with it, but unfortunately it doesn’t go away, however it is maintainable, but it does come with some emotional and physical side effects…..

Sorry I think I went away from the topic for a bit, getting back on track, keeping your headspace clear from all things harmful and negative is a tough tasks to accomplish, it’s not impossible, it’s just hard. Anxiety though isn’t the only mental health issue that people deal with on a daily basis, people also struggle with depression, bi-polar disorders, eating disorders and so many other forms of mental health issues that’s out there……

Anxiety and depression are the most talked about in the mental health world, but those aren’t the only ones that people go through, it’s important to look at other issues just as much as we look at Depression and Anxiety, on the statistic outlook scale (hopefully that made sense) although they have different effects and are formed differently, they still connect in the same way, because they all stem from our emotions and thoughts.

It’s hard to wrap our heads around what causes some of us to have more of an effect then others when it comes to dealing with mental health, we all know it has to do with our brains and having some parts unlatched and disconnected from the rest of whatever is going on inside our brains, but when it comes to the science of it, it’s still a little complicated understanding fully, at least it’s one that i’m unable to explain properly to you guys.

But let’s not complicate things here, as much as I love and enjoyed science back in school, still enjoy it actually, also yes I know mental health is a more psychology related topic, then actual science, however you still use science with psychology i’m pretty sure, so it’s still in the same boat technically, don’t actually quote me on it though, because I know nothing alright.

Back to self care, because that’s what we were talking about here, it’s important to take care of yourself, plain and simple, I know it can be hard to take your focus away from everything and keep yourself from stressing and getting overwhelmed and that, but you have to know when to slow down and take a break at times so your able to function properly through the days, if you stop yourself from taking the time that you need to reboot and recharge you’ll end up crashing and breaking down to the point where you’ll find it extremely difficult to get back to where you left off…..

You don’t ever want to have it get to that point, so you have to try and keep a balance with everything, this coming from a girl where the word balance is nowhere near her daily vocabulary, it’s not even on a list, with that being said, self care is something we all have to try and practice, especially when it’s something that we aren’t really used to, it can be a challenge, but it doesn’t mean that it’s something not worth giving a chance, I mean it shouldn’t even be considered as an option, self care should be taken as an everyday kind of thing, but knowing how most of us operate……

We’re not always going to be able to look after ourselves the way we normally should, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still take care of ourselves. If we can’t commit to self care everyday, we should at least try and pick certain days throughout the week plus the weekend where we look at what we’re lacking or need improving on and do our best to work at that as much as we’re able to, so for example:

If you’re the type who struggles to relax or you don’t know how to, finding ways and practicing relaxation can help you to learn to take it easy a little bit more, plus it’ll keep your stress levels down while giving you the ability to clear away a good amount of headspace so your able to focus better.

This is something that I need to really practice a whole lot, because I don’t do that often, I would rather stress myself out then relax, that’s how much I give myself a break on things I feel I need to do better at, yeah…..but there’s a lot of ways to self care i’m sure and keep the chaos from becoming too chaotic, mental health and self care, should always go hand in hand, there should always be a balance between them, because without one, the other wouldn’t know what to do, so it helps to keep them together so that way you feel at ease, if not entirely, at least you know you’ll feel a little better with it.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Is It Alright To Not Have A Direction And Know Where You’re Going!?……

Yes, we’re back on the topic of careers again…..the good news to this is haven’t stressed myself out thinking too much on about this in a while, I have still thought about it however and when I do, I still get frustrated trying to figure it out, but i’ve been calmer about it as much as possible lately, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that i’m still wanting to figure it out.

Some say you have to stay focus and really look for it, while others may say not to worry so much and let it come to you, which advice do you follow I don’t know, all I know is when i’m focusing so much on it, I get super stressed and frustrated and when I focus less on it, I still get frustrated and stress about it because then I feel like i’m just not doing anything, it’s like there can never be a balance, unless you’re counting always getting frustrated and stressed, then yeah there’s a nice balance there.

Seriously though, it really does mess with you when you know you want to get somewhere and are really wanting to do something with yourself, but without a clear direction it’s hard to know where exactly you’re supposed to be heading, sometimes you feel you’re just wandering about aimlessly because you’re still unsure of what you would like to do…….the amount of times i’ve talked about not being the planning type is probably a lot.

Don’t worry i’m not going on that walk, it’s just a small amount of frustration and wonder, I really don’t know where i’m going and in what direction i’m heading towards and so it’s a little stressful because I do want to know, i’d like to see where i’m going a bit, normally I would just enjoy the scenery and not worry about it so much, but this time around, although the patience is still there, so is the impatience of it and it’s kinda in the lead over the patience right now and it just drives me a little mad, because I don’t know where i’m heading and I don’t know where to go…….

Right now i’m just doing this, whatever this is, at least I have you guys and this blog to keep me at bay until I run into something, some people are able to just go and never stop, because they already have an idea or are already doing what they set out to do and then you have people like me who can’t help, but continuously wander, because they either just don’t know or they’re actually enjoying themselves, I can’t speak for all wanderers,

but for this wanderer she’s just really hoping that she gets somewhere so she can stop worrying so much about it, will she!? Probably not, but she’s not going to stop wandering now, we’ve wandered this far and it got us here to where we’re now blogging about it, which is good so we can’t be that far to figuring out just where we’re actually heading, in the meantime, I guess we gotta keep looking towards the scenery, *big sigh* alrighty then.

I gotta say, i’m feeling a little anxious now, but that’s probably just my nerves and me worrying a little, I know i’ll get to where i’m suppose to soon enough and that things will be alright, it’s just the whole “when” but worrying too much on that will cause stress and i’ve been trying to keep from doing that lately, when your busy and on roll, it doesn’t bother you, it’s only when you’ve sat down and are thinking too much to where it’ll start to become a nuisance is all, but patience and not giving up can help.

P.s. I wrote this post I believe yesterday, but I didn’t get a chance to post it until now, these are just some thought of mine is all…..

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Self care and Well other things…..(Oct 9, 2019)

Tell me, how does one actually self care!? This is a question that i’m sure most people wouldn’t ask right!? Yeah well this is me, asking genuinely, you see i’m not the greatest at self caring, relaxing isn’t really my strong suit and I just find it to be really weird focusing on just myself, i’m just not use to tending to my own needs and that, I tend to worry about everyone else’s before my own, it’s just how i’ve always been.

I know they say it’s important to take care of yourself, I mean how are you suppose to take care of others if you don’t look after yourself right!? It’s the same for when they say how are you suppose to love someone else, if you can’t love yourself!? The needs of others are important, but so are our own, and I think that we forget that sometimes, we get so focused on wanting to look after others, we forget to look after ourselves in the process.

You wouldn’t think self care to be so hard to do, but it’s actually pretty difficult to keep an eye on, especially when your the type who rarely focuses on themselves…..i’m the type who will put her focus into everyone else’s feelings, making sure they’re doing alright and never ever really take a step back and look at how i’m doing……sometimes you think you’re able to just run at full speed and not be bothered, but you shouldn’t and can’t spread yourself too thin, it’s not healthy and although most of us know that, we still end up doing it anyway and that’s because we don’t really know how to do anything else, that’s what happens when you care too much.

You give all this love and caring away, without leaving any for yourself and then you find yourself wondering why everything happened and why you aren’t happy and you don’t ever want to feel like that, you have to know when to think of yourself and say, i’m worn out, tired and I need to pick myself up and take a break to recharge myself.

It can hurt doing that, but sometimes you need to do that, you need to set a bit of boundary for people and let them know, i’m only human, I can only handle, but so much and I need you not to cross this line right here, it’s important to make sure people know that as well as being able to say no when you feel you aren’t up for something or just when you know you should, all of what i’m writing right now is something that I lack to do,

I’ll admit that, I think a good amount of us have trouble with this, it’s hard to think of yourself when you have all these responsibilities and people that you care about and all you want is to see them well and happy and you shouldn’t think of that as a bad thing, there’s nothing wrong with caring and wanting others to be happy, but it’s okay to also care about yourself as well and wanting your own happiness, if your not happy then you can’t share happiness with others and that’s important…

Something i’ve been learning is you can’t give out positivity if you yourself aren’t feeling positive, I used to be the most positive person around, always tried looking at the glass half full, always tried to help people and everything, but along the way, I guess I just stopped feeling that and now i’m having to really look at everything differently and it’s so hard. When it comes to what i’m doing in life, I don’t like to give myself a break, I stress so much and that’s me doing that to myself, I worry so much about everything and if I do something that I know is a step in the right direction, to me just because it isn’t a big big thing I won’t see as progress, even though it is,

It’s kinda like when you’re a kid and it’s Christmas day and you’re expecting this huge Christmas gift, but the gift that you receive is not what you expected so you’re kinda like “oh, well that’s cool” you’re happy, but you’re not happy you know what I mean!? I think we just expect everything to be this big thing and when it’s not quite like that, we’re left feeling a little down, disappointed or as if we’ve failed when in reality, we shouldn’t.

I know I probably went off track a little, i’m hoping everything makes sense, but what i’m trying to get at is just because things aren’t always instant doesn’t mean there isn’t anything great leading to it……and when it comes to self care one of the things that is important to remember is, not too be so hard on ourselves and to know that it’s okay to take our time with things if we know we need it, it’s okay not to be positive all the time, it’s okay to tell people hey, I need me time for a while so please just give me that and it’s especially okay to put yourself first at times, we shouldn’t feel selfish or bad in doing that, it’s important to balance it out I know, but if you feel you need to really get back to your good ole self, know you’re able to, without reason.

I don’t know much about self care, it’s a weird thing for me, but I am learning that it’s important in order to live happily and healthy, i’m finding it really difficult to really allow myself to worry about just myself and make sure that i’m okay before anything else, it’s going to take me a while to do that, but I am doing my best to work on that, I don’t ever say I need it, other people have to tell me I need to do that, which is sad, because you should already know what your needs are, but again it’s a difficult task at hand to get that in our heads on just how important it actually is, i’m still getting it through mine, because I worry too much on everything else going on.

I’m sure it’ll stick, it’s just going to take some time, but if someone ever tells you they need space to take care of themselves first, as much as you may care, you have to let them do that and while they’re doing that, you have to make sure you’re doing good as well, even if it’s hard, even if it’s weird, i’m pretty sure it’s worth it in the end.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Careers….(Part 2)

Part 2 of Careers is right ahead, as promised from the first part to this when I said I don’t think i’m finished talking about this topic, I wasn’t kidding I still have a lot to say, this might be long as well, i’m just gonna say it now, because I know the way I write……I really do try not to write so much, it’s not easy though…..it’s a good thing I wrote everything in advance here.

Sometimes I want to blame my high school teacher for convincing me to get a computer, well more like suggesting i’d get one, it took me a while to actually give in to getting one, luckily we had someone in our school to lend us computers for the time being until we graduated, if it wasn’t for Mrs. Schaefer (My HS English Teacher) I would still be writing down notes in my notebook and being the only one to do so in my class as well.

(I won’t ever forget the conversation when she suggested for me to get one, I always find myself thinking back to that moment in time, well it’s more on random days then always.)

Now I know what you’re thinking,”what does this have to do with careers?” it doesn’t, it has nothing at all to do with careers, it was just a thought, that I wanted to write down, because it was one of the first things that came to mind when I wrote this out, but let’s discuss what’s meant to be discussed.

I’ll be honest with you, for as long as I can remember I never really thought about what I wanted as a career before, hence why i’m stressing about it now……I mean when I was younger I had this grand idea on what I had in mind and that idea involved singing!! I wanted to be a singer, i’ve mentioned this before i’m sure, I mean what kid didn’t right!? I wanted to sing because I liked singing and music a lot, still enjoy singing to myself and I still listen to music, not as much as I used to, but on occasions and whenever i’m walking somewhere or when i’m in the mood for it.

That all being said, the older I got, the more I started to see just how serious I was about it…..I wasn’t, the thought of singing was cool, I mean let’s face it we all had moments when we sang in front of a mirror or in some part of our house with either a hairbrush, remote control or the broom even, whatever we could find really and just went for it, those were the best days of all our childhoods i’d say!! The few times that I attempted to get going, I think I just found it to be too much now that i’m thinking about it.

I’ve been on stage a few times growing up mostly with other people and a few times alone and in those times being by myself on stage or just in front of people in general I would always feel super uncomfortable, I would just rather kinda be away from the stage and having people stare at you. I didn’t even like doing presentations, even though you would just be talking to a classroom, I couldn’t even speak in front of a group of people without losing my words and being all nervous, flashcards couldn’t even help me and they were numbered flashcards and I still would freak out.

But with singing and music I think the main thing with it was I couldn’t commit to it fully, I wasn’t really serious about it, it was always just fun to me, when I started realizing just how much had to be put into it, yeah I slowly backed away from it until you could no longer see me there.

Sometimes I think about it and wonder with it, but I don’t think I would be able to take it seriously, in terms of having it be a career for me, although I still love to sing, I don’t feel it would be my thing to do for a living, there’s a lot with it I probably wouldn’t be able to handle and the realistic ness of it just wouldn’t be a sure thing if you want something that’s going to get you going if you get what I mean, I mean it can be a sure thing if that’s what you truly want and your serious about it, but with me I don’t think it’d work.

The thing i’d say that came with the joy to sing all my favorite songs was being able to write, now I can’t really recall how I got into writing, I kinda just started doing it a lot, I didn’t really know what I was writing, I mean I knew what I was writing, but I didn’t if that makes sense!? I just liked writing pretty much, lyrics mainly, but nonetheless I was writing a whole lot. Other than wanting to be a singer as a youngster, I didn’t really have any alternative careers I wanted to do.

You always hear people say how it’s important to have a backup career in case your original idea falls through and to give you a bit of insight to how I felt hearing that, well I didn’t like hearing that, i’m pretty sure no one did, but when you think about it, we all knew it made sense deep down, I mean who wants to be left disappointed right!?

Careers are seriously hard to decide on, it’s all about what you would like to be doing for the rest of your life!! You can think of a million and above things to do for a living, but here’s where the heart of the true question lies, will all of those possible career ideas make you happy? Can you see yourself feeling truly good about it for years time? Will it be something you get out of bed for and look forward to everyday!?

All the dilemmas when deciding on a career eh? Some people decide on becoming a teacher for a good amount of time, but then later realize that it may not be the thing for them once they realize just how much patience it takes to handle it or maybe they have asked themselves if they want to be in a classroom for years to come and realize they don’t and so they’ll try and think of something else, but that’s just an example.

There’s a lot of different decisions and questions that’ll go through your head when trying to choose the best career. Becoming a teacher is a more realistic career choice to chose from considering how big of a profession it is, I feel you get more out of it then you would with most career options, plus it’s a bit more rewarding to have as a career, I mean your not only in a teaching role, but your helping people of all ages from kids, to teenagers ect…learn and develop while becoming a lot more knowledgeable as well as other things and doing something like that can make you feel really good.

You know you’re bringing something extraordinary to a lot of people and changing their lives in a way that is inexplainable. Now i’m not saying that any other career wouldn’t also be rewarding and that, it just depends on the kind that you choose, but when your trying to decide on a career, whatever that career may be, it all comes down to how bad you want it as well as where you see your personality fitting better with.

You don’t want to just jump into a random profession, you want to make sure you have some kind of interest and connection to it, that way when you are pursuing a career of your choosing, you know you’re going to enjoy it and keep on enjoying it, sure you might like something and find your good with it, but even if you find your are good with it, it doesn’t necessarily mean your going to love it for the rest of your life,

You might if you give it a try and see, but when going for a career you want to make sure it’s something that’s going to not only bring you some kind of happiness with it, but also bring you a good amount of secureness as well, you want something that’ll go hand in hand and work for you. No one wants to get up and do something they know they’re going to dread each morning they wake up, you want to always look forward to what you’re doing not, hate it as your doing it and I get it not being easy to figure out.

With careers there’s just so many to choose from that it’s hard to choose, sometimes you have to go based on what your strengths are and what your weakness is, so you can get some kind of idea of what could work when deciding on what you are going to be doing for a living. Sometimes I think it would be easier to randomly land on a career choice as if it was a mini game and have it be sorted that way, but that’s probably not the best idea, because you might end up with something you really do hate if you aren’t careful, but it would make things interesting for one which is sorta good.

There you have it part 2 of Careers, a lot of what’s written here most of it was already pre written, but there were some stuff that I changed as I went along…..now i’m not 100 percent sure, but there’s a chance there could be a third parter here, it’s not a definite yes, but there is a sorta big maybe to it.

This might just stay as a two parter, but this is a just in case you do see a part 3, you won’t be too alarmed by it, but with all that, I hope you all are having a good day and that you’re all doing well.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

1pm Conversation….

Written Sept 22, 2019

In the distance there you are, I try to get near, but your still so far, I call your name, but there’s no answer, sometimes I wish there was an answer. I sit alone, in hopes you’ll arrive, but deep down I know, i’m still just alone…..I pretend not hearing from you doesn’t bother me, but it always does when I think on the fact that I won’t ever hear from you.

I’ll admit i’m not good with coping with these kind of things, I try to forget it to keep the hurt from coming back up, but it only works for so long. I’m a little lost on a lot of things if you can tell, i’m trying so hard to sort through it all, i’m just not sure if i’m doing okay with it though, trying to keep these emotions intact is the hardest thing to do.

Everything is just everywhere and all i’ve been trying to do is fix it somehow, but I feel i’m bad when it comes to fixing things….I blame myself for a lot of things, that I know I probably shouldn’t, but it’s just how I feel, every time I look back on what went wrong and why everything is the way it is now, I can’t help, but blame myself for it turning out that way.

I think we all find it easiest to blame ourselves even when we know it isn’t always necessarily our fault. Everything’s just a mess now and I don’t know in what way to clean it up, i’m trying to get myself out of being where I am, it’s fine looking to people to help you get through, but we all know that there’s nothing anyone can physically do to help, the rest comes from you, yourself and I know that….there’s no excuses about it that i’m trying to make here, I don’t want excuses, I just want to finally move forward without feeling all this stress all the time.

I wish I was able to talk to you, nothing seemed this bad when I did have you to talk to, I don’t though and i’m having to deal with that, it’s hard…..but I do my best. I’m not trying to ask for answers, i’m just needing a better push and some strength mentally and emotionally, I want my voice and words to come through clearly and be listened to and not continue to fall short. I want to mean what I say in terms of taking action, I don’t want to keep missing out, I also would like to follow my own voice for once without having everyone else’s voice come through.

No more influences trying to make me think a certain way because that’s what they think, I keep everyone’s thoughts in my head and I just want my own thoughts without the complicated, just simple. It’s hard to know what’s being heard and what’s not, but I just needed someone to talk to, you mainly, if you listened thanks and if not that’s okay, I managed to get it out in someway, even if it was just writing it out, at least it’s out of my head. Didn’t even know it was there to be honest…..

In the distance there you are, I managed to get near, but you were still so far, although I sit alone with the knowing you might not arrive, I still hold on to the hope that you’ll soon answer……

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Careers….(Part 1)

You wouldn’t think they’d be hard to decide on, but when you’ve come to a point in your life where you still haven’t decided on where you would like to go on the career topic, you’ll find you start to become much more stressed out about it. I’ve been back and forth trying to decide where I might want to head and i’m still thinking about it, I can never seem to make up my mind when it comes deciding anything really……

You may think you have something in mind, but you realize just how tough it really is trying to figure out just what you might want to get into as a career, it seems simple, but the more you really look into it, your calmness meter starts to decrease and your stress meter starts to increase, followed by your frustration meter and you get the drift of it i’m sure.

It really shouldn’t be all that hard to decide, you pick something you enjoy and go for that right!? Wrong, just so wrong……we enjoy a lot of things and that can make choosing something extremely hard when it comes to a lifetime career, there are things we enjoy most and there are things we enjoy a certain amount.

Trying to choose out of all the things we enjoy, is like being back on a school playground trying to decide who should be “it” in a game of tag or hide and seek. For those who aren’t quite sure what I mean, i’m talking playing eenie, meenie to choose who you want to be “it” before you actually get to the game, it’s pretty much stalling and delaying, I mean let’s face it no one liked being IT in those games and if you did like having to find everyone in hide and seek or you enjoyed chasing after people when playing tag, then I don’t know, maybe you were just a different kind of species, kidding ha!!

Okay, maybe choosing a career isn’t quite like a game of hide and seek or tag, i’m most likely exaggerating that part, but it’s just so stressful!! Going back to the playground days, when your a kid, you have in mind all these things you find cool that you might want to be, it’s kinda where it all starts really, something catches your interest, you become fascinated by it and that’s what you want to be, as a kid you’re fascinated by everything!!

Being asked “what you would like to be when you’re older” makes it feel as though you’re expected to give an answer and that’s where the first pressures tend to arise, although your just a kid, you still have this feeling as though you have to answer that daunting question (hopefully I used daunting in a correct way) so you kinda just go with something that seems interesting in that moment. I mean you’re a kid so you kinda just throw anything out there that is part of an interest of yours, but the older you get,

The more your interests start to change and that can cause a bit of frustration when you thought you had something in mind, but later discover that what you thought you wanted to be was something you weren’t even quite sure about to begin with, you just felt you had to answer.

Once you’ve reached a good age where you should be in a certain position and you see you aren’t there, that’s where the frustration continues to grow because out of all the things you enjoyed, not one of them stood out to where it made you want to continue on with it for a long time and make it into a career and you think to yourself “you waited this long to start thinking about a career” you add to the pressure that you already feel, unsure of a clear direction or career and with that you feel a little defeated.

You know you went so long without deciding what it was you wanted to do and although you know it’s not too late and that you can still figure it out, you still have that frustration inside you, being an adult and not having decided on a career is the most stressful thing to deal with.

And it’s not just the dealing, it’s the emotions that come along with it as well, you want to start something, but not just for the sake of it, you want something to look forward to, something that’s going to have you unable to wait to get started, you want a career that you don’t mind getting stressed about because it means that much to you that you want it to be right…..

P.S. I wrote this post a few days ago, i’m not really sure whether to post this or not, I think I might, but even when I do, i’m still going to feel unsure about it the moment it’s up. When it comes to these kind of writes, I try to avoid sharing them because they tend to come out of a place of stress and frustration, but I guess sometimes it’s okay if they do.

I don’t think i’m finished talking about this topic, so for now i’ve added it as a part 1 post, suggesting there’s going to be another part on it, the second part will come from a different mood stand point, it’s also quite long so i’m going to have to try and shorten it someway, but keep an eye out for it!!

You might see it later today or sometime this upcoming week, not sure on the posting schedule of it quite yet, but you’ll see it, for now I hope you’re all having a good day and you enjoyed your weekend.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Writing Prompt: Write About Yourself

Objective: Describe yourself, surroundings, frame of mind and emotional state, but try and write it in a third person point of you (he/she not I or me)

She wakes up to a repeated routine, washing dishes, making coffee with toast and then sits on her bed in the center of the room. She grabs a few journals from her bookcase, adds a little background noise and tries her best to look busy when deciding on what she can write about in a journal.

Her mind soon starts wandering, thinking on how she should be more productive then this. Feelings of guilt and stress come over her, making the situation look like a good place to sulk and and sit in self-pity, she tries to come up with solutions that could help her to move forward, but she lets herself think of outcomes to trying, letting in the Anxiety and giving her an excuse to not go fourth with it, knowing full well it wasn’t a good one.

She asks herself questions, that she already has the answers to, asking people for advice and tips, hoping that this time she’ll finally put them into actions herself, without the need of guidance. She locks herself away and forces herself to stay where she is, even though she knows it’s not where she wants to be, she glances outside her window, watching everyone’s life inattentive of her own, as she sees it as better. Deep in thought,

She wonders how it got so bad, but only she would know the true answer to that, it was her that held back, allowing herself to fall behind when all she had to do was try harder, she allowed her head to get the best of her in moving forward, underestimating herself and believing she wasn’t good enough. If only she would allow herself to be confident and trust in the abilities that she possesses, instead of questioning and second guessing herself, things would change and be a little better, she just can’t bring herself to believe she has it in her to do so, why you might ask!?

Fear, it’s fear that keeps her hidden, it’s the thought of being judged and feeling as if she won’t fit in wherever she goes, that she’ll feel too out of place. It’s the worry that whatever she does, won’t be good enough, those fears have always been there, but it’s not until now that they’ve started slowly coming to the surface, not fitting in never really bothered her before, but now it ends up in the back of her mind at times, those fears need to go if she wants to get anywhere and even she herself knows it’s time to move.

P.S. I hope I did this whole writing prompt right, I found this creative writing prompt website last night, okay I searched for it more like, I was curious and wanted to see what kind of prompts there were so I could try my hand at it, there were quite a few, I might try out another one, this one was fun, it actually made writing a little less intimidating….

If you would like to give it a try as well, the link is here: Creative Writing Prompts there’s other prompts on there as well if you prefer to do a different one, it’s good writing practice, at least that’s what I think prompts are for, I don’t really do them all that often ha. Hope you enjoy!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~