Today has been a day, i’m saying that as if the day just flew by already haha, no it’s only around 3pm at the moment as i’m writing this, if I were to tell you what my days consist of, you’d look at me as if I was nuts, not because I do a lot, or anything, it more because I just pretty much do the same things all the time, not that interesting I know. I’ll be honest I don’t really know what to write about today, I pretty much did most of my writing in my writing journal, I wrote about 12 pages of whatever was on my mind, insane right!? I didn’t quite expect to write as much as I did and even when I was writing there I didn’t know what I was gonna write about, I just started writing and whatever came out, came out………it’s crazy how just writing things out helps you.
I know I have loads of journals, but I gotta say I didn’t think i’d ever write this much in my life compared to how much i’m writing now, hopefully that made sense. I use to just write whenever I was really feeling something and that use to be rare, this year I find myself writing more than I ever would have imagined, everyday I feel something and now whenever I feel something I find myself reaching for my pencil and ready to write. I use to be so cautious though of the things i’d write, I only wanted to write positive stuff as best as I could………that’s what my thought journal was for, now I barely write in that which is weird. I only ever write in my writing journal and that’s where I write my thoughts now and I mean my actual thoughts.
Not my “let me try and write this a certain way to where I only understand”……..I won’t lie to you, I only would write a certain way in my thought journal because well, for one it was the only way I knew how to express myself, without really expressing myself, if that makes sense………another reason was……..I guess……I was scared to really put down how I was feeling, because to me it was just me focusing on the negatives and I didn’t want to do that, that’s why when I started my thought journal I said to myself it would only be used for a positive outlook and then later I started realizing I was writing my actual feelings more and more and I couldn’t write it any other way, so I stopped writing it in.
Then when I heard about morning pages to where you learn that the purpose of it, is for you to get everything that you’re feeling out, not matter what it is, you just write, no cover ups or anything, just full on writing and having that option to where you’re like “So wait I can write anything!? no matter what it is, I don’t have to write it a certain way or anything!?” having that put in front of you, saying no strings attached, all you gotta do is write, it gives you both this sense of “okay I think I can do that” as well as “Wait can I do that!?” I don’t know, it’s helpful and it gives you that feeling of trust in a way if that makes sense, like as if you’re being told “hey you can do it and I believe in you”, I don’t know if that’s a good example, but I hope you know what I mean when I say that.
I guess what i’m trying to say is, i’m glad that writing was always one of my favorite things to do and i’m glad that I learned all about morning pages even though, I tend to write them in the evening a lot of the time………being able to just write without having to think about it too much, really really does help, plus once you’ve written down everything that you wanted or you were feeling, it always makes you feel better and it gives you that sense of focus that you need when everything seems like it doesn’t make sense and when it starts not to make sense, writing let’s you just drift away and escape from it all, well at least for me it does.
All The Love ❤ ❤