Hope you guys are having a nice Monday! I’d like to say that I am, but I’m not going to sit here and lie to you, I haven’t really been in the best of moods for the past 2 days now, 3 if you’re counting today…..I’ve been trying to get out of my head, but I’ve been finding myself in this deep thought process this past weekend, although I’m always thinking, but it’s a different kind of thought mode I’m in, I’m just feeling a whole lot of emotions that I’m trying so hard to push down, but it’s been really hard!
One of the reasons that I know why I’m feeling this way is because…..well it’s coming to a year that I’ve lost my dog, which probably doesn’t mean anything to those reading this and that’s okay, I know it’s different for everyone and I don’t expect you to feel this feeling with me, that’s not what I want anyway….it’s going to be a year on Sunday the 27th, I’ve been trying not to get emotional about it, to a lot of people losing a pet probably isn’t a thing to get all upset about, but for me…..it was really hard, my dog wasn’t just a pet, she was more than to me, I’ve had a lot of different pets in my life a few cats, dogs from before, fishes, a turtle for a second ha….but Peanut…the name of my dog
She was something, she loved being around everyone, she was a people kind of dog, if you didn’t like dogs, she was going to be the one to change your mind, that’s how loveable she was! She didn’t like other dogs though, at least if she did, she showed it very oddly, always barking at them she was…..she was sweet, but for some reason she also had this mean side to her, but I loved her anyway…..I kind of remember when we got her, she was still kind of a puppy and she was a little shy when I first saw her!
I didn’t actually pick her, she was picked for me, but even though I didn’t necessarily choose her, she choose me which lend me to be stuck with her….and from there in a very weird way, we bonded! I say very weird way because she was completely opposite to me, but I sometimes felt deep down we were a little similar….I know it’s weird, I mean she was a dog and I’m human, but I like to think your pet reflects you and for that reason can become pretty similar to you as well! Even though she had a way to get under my skin with the things that she did, like how she’d always growl at me and do things out of spite….I loved her, no matter how crazy she’d drive me, she was my fur best friend….I never allowed her in my room and then after a while I would let her in, sometimes she’d wait for me to invite her in and other times she’d just barge in whenever she was feeling extra bold, she was always a sassy one, but that was my Peanut….I wouldn’t have traded her for the world!
I hated the way I lost her and I don’t really like using that word, because of how strong it is, but it’s how I feel and felt then, I really didn’t like the way she went, I won’t ever talk about it on here because it’s too personal, but with what happened…..I think it’s going to be a thing that bothers me for a long time, I’ve grown to accept what happened even though I wish it didn’t, I’ve accepted it! I always think about her and sometimes I wish she was still here so I could hug her and mess with her and just let her know that I really did love her, I loved her so much,
She was the first dog I ever had that I bonded with, she didn’t always listen to me at times, she didn’t even take me seriously when I would yell at her whenever she did something wrong, she didn’t like when I yelled at her, but I knew that she loved me, she showed it in her own way, but I still knew it! I miss her a lot, always, there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about her, she helped me through a lot even though she never knew it and for that I’ll always be grateful for the time I did get with her, despite what happened, I’ll always be thankful for the moments that I was able to share with her as well as the moments she brought to me and for the special opposite bond we had!
You will forever be my Firefly and Dragonfly at times and I know you’ll always be with me cause you follow me wherever I go, well when you feel like it that is…..I love you Peanut, Thank you for everything! That’s one of the reasons I’ve been a little down these past few days, the closer it gets, the more it starts to get to me, but I’m doing my best to not think on it so much, it’s extremely hard, but I’m trying….as for everything else I’m trying to work through that too, if anyone is reading this, I just want to say thank you for listening to me, it means a lot!
All The Love ❤ ❤