Tag: Fireflies

DragonFly Season…. (Part 1)

On By Daydreamer LexIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Hope you guys are having a nice Monday! I’d like to say that I am, but I’m not going to sit here and lie to you, I haven’t really been in the best of moods for the past 2 days now, 3 if you’re counting today…..I’ve been trying to get out of my head, but I’ve been finding myself in this deep thought process this past weekend, although I’m always thinking, but it’s a different kind of thought mode I’m in, I’m just feeling a whole lot of emotions that I’m trying so hard to push down, but it’s been really hard!

One of the reasons that I know why I’m feeling this way is because…..well it’s coming to a year that I’ve lost my dog, which probably doesn’t mean anything to those reading this and that’s okay, I know it’s different for everyone and I don’t expect you to feel this feeling with me, that’s not what I want anyway….it’s going to be a year on Sunday the 27th, I’ve been trying not to get emotional about it, to a lot of people losing a pet probably isn’t a thing to get all upset about, but for me…..it was really hard, my dog wasn’t just a pet, she was more than to me, I’ve had a lot of different pets in my life a few cats, dogs from before, fishes, a turtle for a second ha….but Peanut…the name of my dog

She was something, she loved being around everyone, she was a people kind of dog, if you didn’t like dogs, she was going to be the one to change your mind, that’s how loveable she was! She didn’t like other dogs though, at least if she did, she showed it very oddly, always barking at them she was…..she was sweet, but for some reason she also had this mean side to her, but I loved her anyway…..I kind of remember when we got her, she was still kind of a puppy and she was a little shy when I first saw her!

Fun fact:

I didn’t actually pick her, she was picked for me, but even though I didn’t necessarily choose her, she choose me which lend me to be stuck with her….and from there in a very weird way, we bonded! I say very weird way because she was completely opposite to me, but I sometimes felt deep down we were a little similar….I know it’s weird, I mean she was a dog and I’m human, but I like to think your pet reflects you and for that reason can become pretty similar to you as well! Even though she had a way to get under my skin with the things that she did, like how she’d always growl at me and do things out of spite….I loved her, no matter how crazy she’d drive me, she was my fur best friend….I never allowed her in my room and then after a while I would let her in, sometimes she’d wait for me to invite her in and other times she’d just barge in whenever she was feeling extra bold, she was always a sassy one, but that was my Peanut….I wouldn’t have traded her for the world!

I hated the way I lost her and I don’t really like using that word, because of how strong it is, but it’s how I feel and felt then, I really didn’t like the way she went, I won’t ever talk about it on here because it’s too personal, but with what happened…..I think it’s going to be a thing that bothers me for a long time, I’ve grown to accept what happened even though I wish it didn’t, I’ve accepted it! I always think about her and sometimes I wish she was still here so I could hug her and mess with her and just let her know that I really did love her, I loved her so much,

She was the first dog I ever had that I bonded with, she didn’t always listen to me at times, she didn’t even take me seriously when I would yell at her whenever she did something wrong, she didn’t like when I yelled at her, but I knew that she loved me, she showed it in her own way, but I still knew it! I miss her a lot, always, there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about her, she helped me through a lot even though she never knew it and for that I’ll always be grateful for the time I did get with her, despite what happened, I’ll always be thankful for the moments that I was able to share with her as well as the moments she brought to me and for the special opposite bond we had!

You will forever be my Firefly and Dragonfly at times and I know you’ll always be with me cause you follow me wherever I go, well when you feel like it that is…..I love you Peanut, Thank you for everything! That’s one of the reasons I’ve been a little down these past few days, the closer it gets, the more it starts to get to me, but I’m doing my best to not think on it so much, it’s extremely hard, but I’m trying….as for everything else I’m trying to work through that too, if anyone is reading this, I just want to say thank you for listening to me, it means a lot!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Daytime Firefly

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

So I see you came by for a visit, I knew that was you the other day and to see you again this morning, I knew you showing up by my window wasn’t just me being crazy haha…..where you came from i’ll never know, all I know is that you showed up during the daytime, when fireflies usually come out towards the night……maybe that was your way of letting me know that yes that was you the other day and you were just saying hi this morning!!

I thought I heard you yesterday a few times, at first I thought it could’ve just been me hearing things, but than again I don’t think it was, I know how you sound and whether it was just me or my thoughts about you being around was right and you were following me making sure I was okay and that, you always did follow me around and sometimes it drove me nuts, you didn’t know how to stay still, but I could never blame you for it, it was just you!!

I mean it was in your nature…….although it’s only been a few days, I miss you everyday my crazy girl……the way you’d spin around every time you thought we were going outside, how you’d get so excited about EVERYTHING!! So hyper you were, the word calm never appealed to you, you just did your own thing, we couldn’t tell you anything……..

It’s really hard not seeing you, right now you’d be sitting by my door or near it in someway or sitting by the front door, you always liked doing that for some reason, i’ll never understand that……and even though it’d do my head in, i’m going to miss how you’d let me know someone was at the door even when I was already heading towards it lol, again you were crazy,

but I loved you for it anyway……I know i’m going to have to keep strong and get through this somehow……and I know I will get through it, but that doesn’t mean i’m not going to wish you were here…..now even though your not with me, with me……I do know you’re around in your own way, i’m sure you haven’t quite left my side, again you were always near me,

but it’s just different and i’m having to find ways of dealing with it right now I don’t know if you’ll understand that…….it’s weird because I didn’t think it’d be this tough, yet it is…….and maybe that’s because we’ve had you for so long……but I know that eventually it won’t be so hard, yeah i’ll still miss you, but it’ll become a little easier……I just need to give it a bit…….

but i’m gonna try and be strong and keep looking up and around for you, you’ll probably show up unexpectedly, but I know you’ll make sure I know you’re with me someway, like today….you don’t know that fireflies don’t show up during the day much, but again you always did do what you wanted and you showed up anyway, just like the little rascal you are!!

Thank you for that, I know you felt me missing you and you made sure to let me know you were okay and it made me happy knowing that, I even saw you Ang flying around to give me reassurance that all is well and fine, thank you as well for that……I miss and love you so much my now little firefly……You behave yourself and please listen to Angel don’t cause him too much trouble alright…..knowing you though you still might, because of how sassy you are, but I just wanted to let you know I saw you and heard you and that i’m always going to look for your face!! I love you peanut!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Fireflies…..

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

When I was younger, I use to hate bugs, now i’m older and I still hate bugs, nothing’s changed there haha……although I didn’t like them, fireflies I have to admit are pretty nice bugs, I know they’re harmless, still though…….you know I haven’t actually seen fireflies in a long while……

I always wondered why they’re called fireflies, I mean what gave someone the thought to call them fireflies in the first place!? Was there meant to be some kind of story to them from long ago!?

We also call them lightning bugs, that’s more of a suited name for them i’d say, we all know they light up the night around the Summertime, they’re like little flying lightbulbs when you look at them.

It’s actually quite fascinating when you see their tails go on and off, if it is their tails that light up that is (it could be there……never mind) fireflies for most people are one of the symbols that associate childhood memories….

You’d go out back in the night and run around, having fun and then you see from the corner of your eyes or in front of you even, a little light, not knowing what it is, you become curious and start to slowly follow it around and do your best to catch it in your hands……if you’re trying that is, I know some also tried catching them in a jar, that must’ve been really tricky…….

If you were lucky though, you did catch one (or a few even) and you’d watched as it would light up in your hand and walk around a bit too or you saw them in the jar still as a stick, but also moving a little as the light would turn on and off and you either had the choice to keep it in the jar for a while or you could set it free after you admired it long enough…….

I wonder what people did the most, did they keep it in the jar or did they set it free after catching it!? Did they even try and catch it in a jar or did they just do the old grab it with your hands method!? I’ve always tried to catch it with my hands or had someone try and give it to me to let me know that it wasn’t harmful, I still hesitated, however I still held it a few times before……

Fireflies a.k.a lightning bugs, they’re okay, they’re not that bad, will I go out of my way to try and capture one though!?……..I don’t know, maybe, I won’t keep them in a jar though and if one ever lands on me, i’ll try and keep calm and do my best to admire it for a bit, until I go “okay i’m good now”

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~