DragonFly Season…. (Part 1)

Hope you guys are having a nice Monday! I’d like to say that I am, but I’m not going to sit here and lie to you, I haven’t really been in the best of moods for the past 2 days now, 3 if you’re counting today…..I’ve been trying to get out of my head, but I’ve been finding myself in this deep thought process this past weekend, although I’m always thinking, but it’s a different kind of thought mode I’m in, I’m just feeling a whole lot of emotions that I’m trying so hard to push down, but it’s been really hard!

One of the reasons that I know why I’m feeling this way is because…..well it’s coming to a year that I’ve lost my dog, which probably doesn’t mean anything to those reading this and that’s okay, I know it’s different for everyone and I don’t expect you to feel this feeling with me, that’s not what I want anyway….it’s going to be a year on Sunday the 27th, I’ve been trying not to get emotional about it, to a lot of people losing a pet probably isn’t a thing to get all upset about, but for me…..it was really hard, my dog wasn’t just a pet, she was more than to me, I’ve had a lot of different pets in my life a few cats, dogs from before, fishes, a turtle for a second ha….but Peanut…the name of my dog

She was something, she loved being around everyone, she was a people kind of dog, if you didn’t like dogs, she was going to be the one to change your mind, that’s how loveable she was! She didn’t like other dogs though, at least if she did, she showed it very oddly, always barking at them she was…..she was sweet, but for some reason she also had this mean side to her, but I loved her anyway…..I kind of remember when we got her, she was still kind of a puppy and she was a little shy when I first saw her!

Fun fact:

I didn’t actually pick her, she was picked for me, but even though I didn’t necessarily choose her, she choose me which lend me to be stuck with her….and from there in a very weird way, we bonded! I say very weird way because she was completely opposite to me, but I sometimes felt deep down we were a little similar….I know it’s weird, I mean she was a dog and I’m human, but I like to think your pet reflects you and for that reason can become pretty similar to you as well! Even though she had a way to get under my skin with the things that she did, like how she’d always growl at me and do things out of spite….I loved her, no matter how crazy she’d drive me, she was my fur best friend….I never allowed her in my room and then after a while I would let her in, sometimes she’d wait for me to invite her in and other times she’d just barge in whenever she was feeling extra bold, she was always a sassy one, but that was my Peanut….I wouldn’t have traded her for the world!

I hated the way I lost her and I don’t really like using that word, because of how strong it is, but it’s how I feel and felt then, I really didn’t like the way she went, I won’t ever talk about it on here because it’s too personal, but with what happened…..I think it’s going to be a thing that bothers me for a long time, I’ve grown to accept what happened even though I wish it didn’t, I’ve accepted it! I always think about her and sometimes I wish she was still here so I could hug her and mess with her and just let her know that I really did love her, I loved her so much,

She was the first dog I ever had that I bonded with, she didn’t always listen to me at times, she didn’t even take me seriously when I would yell at her whenever she did something wrong, she didn’t like when I yelled at her, but I knew that she loved me, she showed it in her own way, but I still knew it! I miss her a lot, always, there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about her, she helped me through a lot even though she never knew it and for that I’ll always be grateful for the time I did get with her, despite what happened, I’ll always be thankful for the moments that I was able to share with her as well as the moments she brought to me and for the special opposite bond we had!

You will forever be my Firefly and Dragonfly at times and I know you’ll always be with me cause you follow me wherever I go, well when you feel like it that is…..I love you Peanut, Thank you for everything! That’s one of the reasons I’ve been a little down these past few days, the closer it gets, the more it starts to get to me, but I’m doing my best to not think on it so much, it’s extremely hard, but I’m trying….as for everything else I’m trying to work through that too, if anyone is reading this, I just want to say thank you for listening to me, it means a lot!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

There’ll Always Be A Rainbow Hanging Over Your Head

Not the exact lyrics of the song Rainbow by Kacey Musgrave, but it’s close enough, yesterday I sat outside I ended up having a bit on my mind and I didn’t know why or where it came from, it just kind of showed up out of nowhere so after I had dinner I just sat outside for a couple of hours, plus it was pretty nice out so I thought why not, little did I know we were getting a bit of a thunder storm towards the late evening, that didn’t stop me from continuing to hang out outside though, I love the rain, so I didn’t mind sitting outside with it, plus I was under something to keep me dry so it was all good!

I purposely went towards the rain though, because like I said I love the rain and I love the feel of it and also I like to get my hair wet whenever it rains, it’s one of my favorite reasons to why I like the rain, call me weird if you want I already know it! I tell you something sitting outside while it’s raining is pretty peaceful and very very nice, the thunder and lighting flashing in the sky can be pretty freighting, but the rain itself is very calming, I can sit and watch it for hours if you let me, I’ve done it a few times already!

I don’t know what it is about the rain I just always liked and appreciated it…..but that aside….yesterday I didn’t really know why I was randomly feeling things after a while I just started singing to myself, I sang a song by one of my all time favorite artist, you might have already heard me talking about her a few times, Alexz Johnson is her name, but I ended up singing a song from her latest album Still Alive, which is also the name of the song I sang to myself, I love that song, it’s so good! Not too long after singing the song to myself…..I’m not really sure what made me look at the sky, well I always look up at the sky, but when I was sitting there in my own mind, I glanced up and I saw something, that something was a rainbow…..

I had to double check because it was a little hard to tell at first when looking at it, it appeared slightly faint, but visible enough to notice it, like it wasn’t the brightest, but you still saw it and when I confirmed the rainbow indeed in the sky, it made me happy and smile a bit, I when to grab my camera so I can take a photo of it, but I then came to the realization that the battery had died, I couldn’t even turn the camera on I forgot to charge it and of course the one time I would’ve liked to have captured that, I couldn’t, but I was okay with it, I took it as maybe I was just meant to see it and not photograph it, I also wanted to take a picture of the sky because it was a very pretty color as the sun was setting and all, but again I couldn’t lol, but regardless, it was a good moment, it made me feel a little better seeing it,

Next time I’ll make sure that my camera’s charged, but this time round, it was just good to see it…..It’s one I won’t forget, well I’m going to try at least, but I’m sure I’ll always remember it, I just wanted to share that it was kind of on my mind a bit!

Hope you’re all doing well!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

I’ve Got The Month Of May

I was going to go with N’SYNC, but I chose to do it old school and go with The Temptations, plus I thought it was best suited seeing that I literally do have the month of May so it works out! I seriously cannot believe that we have just arrived at the end of April, I do got have to say though, I do appreciate how the months are taking their time to arrive, at least that’s how I personally feel, can’t really speak for everyone else, but I like to think that each month so far has stayed a while, in a sense of they haven’t over stayed, but have just been enjoying themselves for the time they were here for, it’s nice, but that’s just how I have been looking at it, might be weird to say, who knows!

Now although May is set to arrive in a couple of hours, we still have to spend one more day with April and really let her know that she did alright, sure we probably had our up’s and downs, but I got to say that I have a soft spot for April, I mean she gave us a beautiful Super Moon the other night, so gorgeous it was, I didn’t get a photo on the day of it, but I did get one where it was big and bright before the actual Pink Super Moon, I did see it glow though! April for me, has it’s mixed feelings, I do like it, but it also makes me go “oh gosh” that’s only because it’s quite a special and important month to me in many different ways, but yeah April and I see eye to eye and at times don’t, but I still like to acknowledge it as well!

When it came to the month of April, I won’t say it was bad, but it definitely had it’s frustrating and non favorite moments we’ll say, but all that aside, it wasn’t a terrible month, I’m going to choose to take the positives of this soon ending month that is April and I’m going to hope and count on this month that will soon be called May and just trust that all is well with it, because to be honest…..I’m slight wary on it, you might be thinking why!? I have my reasons, but I have a lot of hope that it will be fine, because I’m going to do my damn best to make sure that it is! Just like April, May and I have our moments, but it’s still the month that I have a soft spot for, can’t really tell you how it’s going to be this month, to be fair we all won’t really know how it will be…..guess we’ll find out once we’ve entered it and sat with it for a while, but until then, we’ll wish April a safe and well trip and welcome May once she’s all set!

Here’s a few photo’s I’ve taken throughout the month of April and just some personal favorites of mine ^_^ a bit crazy knowing this is the last blog post of the ending month, hope you like the photos I’ve shared, I’ve been kind into taking pictures of things that inspire me lately, not as much, but somewhat!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

January, January….

With this month pretty much over now, you’re probably asking yourself “hey how do you think it went!? Don’t ask me i’m still wondering that myself, you got your good days and your not so great day, but overall i’m still not completely sure how this month went, after being away for 3 months on here and just recently returning, you’d think i’d have a lot to say, well to tell you the truth, I really don’t!! Not as often as i’d like at least! However, I still try to bring something and i’m realizing that it’s probably going to be in the spare of the moment for a bit longer, unless I have something I really want to talk about, not thoughts related, but more on things that bring joy and happiness to me in the moments that they do.

My thoughts lately have been a bit everywhere these days with reasonings to it, but also just because they’re everywhere, whether that makes sense or not, hopefully you still get what i’m trying to say….i’m trying to find different things that I can share that will have me coming back here just wanting to share and maybe it’s going to take just a little bit longer and that’s something I have to be okay with….not just with being on here,

but in general, there are things in mind that I have been jotting down and although the thought and idea of it makes me excited….it’s still something that I get nervous about because it’s a whole new thing that i’ve yet to try and take a chance on…i’ve been trying to map it out, in a way I feel might work for me, in a sense where it doesn’t appear as too intimidating, as well as just trying to get myself warmed up for it!!

I may have it written down in a journal yes….but I know there’s a difference between it being an idea and thought compared to actually giving it ago and that’s what i’m trying to get myself warmed up for, being ready for this step of trying something new and just seeing what happens and it’s something I also find myself worrying about, but at the same time i’ve been trying not to bring it as a worry, but see it as something that i’m just preparing for and wanting to have it work out alright before fully getting into it, it’s just a double checking of everything making sure i’m okay with what I have set to go forth with if that makes sense!?

If I had to say how I think this month went, I guess that would be it, just having the thought of wanting to be better prepared for what i’m actually trying to do or better yet, having the idea of what i’m wanting to do….a lot of stuff has been coming out of nowhere and not saying that it’s a bad thing because most times things that come out of nowhere tends to be good and work out well, but sometime you just want to take a moment to really say to yourself “okay let me think about this for a second” with life a lot of things get rushed passed you and it can get very overwhelming and so having that little bit of spared time to really sit and reflect can save a lot of stressful days and help to clear the mind a little so you can feel a little better with where you feel you’re going with whatever journey you find yourself walking….that’s my view of this month!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

May To Go With June To Arrive…..

So it’s the end of a month that month being May and tomorrow we’ll be closer to Summer and into a new month called June…..I wish I could tell you how exactly I feel knowing we’ve reached Summer territory or just about going into a new month all together, but I really don’t know,

It’s weird because toward the beginning of this year everything felt like it was going slow….mainly around March time, that was a very long month for some reason and then everything started happening and we had to go into lockdown and practice social distancing, still do to be fair……this year just really turned everything upside down and threw us in all sorts of directions.

Now I won’t go fully into it, because I don’t really like going into things that are very personal…..but yesterday was a very odd day, well actually the odd day started Friday into yesterday…..but it was just a very busy day, but not in the way you would think…..it was also pretty overwhelming at least for me, there was just so much happening some things out of enjoyment and some not expected, but expected at the same time if that makes sense!?

It’s hard to really explain without going into full details about it, it’s like have you ever looked around and seen so much going on, yet at the same time, you find that you don’t really know how to feel!? Not only that, but you then notice how what you’re feeling is completely different to everyone’s feelings……again it’s hard to explain…..point is……

Yesterday was a lot and it took way too much energy than expected out of me……it was sorta like, the energy was borrowed in a way and once I had used it all, I had to find some more energy to keep going I didn’t really get time to find a little peace and quiet and when I did it was when a lot of things weren’t really happening…..it was just a lot to take in within the moment and just a day as a whole………it wasn’t a favorable kind of day,

but it was okay I guess……I can’t really explain yesterday…..let’s just say it was filled with a lot of emotions and some unexpected things.

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Tackling The Important Stuff……

Although things seems to be a little on pause with everything going on, it doesn’t mean that we should take away our focus on what is needing our focus…..there’s a lot of reasons to why everything is happening, mainly because the Earth is needing a little bit of healing, so that’s what it’s doing and that’s why we’re experiencing, what we’re experiencing!!

That being said, I do hope that those who are either effected or being effected heal and get better, we all know that this will all pass in time and that we just have to wait it out and I know for many it’s a little hard, but all we can do is try our best to keep focus and actually try and use this time wisely to work on the things that need to be worked on or tackle the sort of things that need tackling and all that jazz…….

It’s during moments like this where we’re having to really reflect and think about a lot of things…..what kind of things you might ask!? Well that depends really, sometimes only you know, what kind of things have a lot of you been finding yourself reflecting on lately!? If you’re answering or thinking to yourself about it, then it’s those things, now I don’t have a clue what those things are, but it’s that……if you’ve been ignoring certain stuff,

You’ll find that with this moment where we’re being forced…..okay let’s not use the word force, instead let’s use the word…..ADVISED!! We’re being advised to stay in until everything clears up……now you’ll notice that a lot of the things that we may have been ignoring let’s say, have found it’s way back on our attention radar, you may wonder why and it’s because we haven’t quite dealt with it, obviously, be it on purpose, not having the time,

or just not really knowing how to respond to it and so on…….with everything now going on though, those things are making themselves known and we’re being again, advised to try and deal with them….how, we may still ask or wonder!? By acknowledging it, instead of trying to avoid it!!

By avoiding it, we’re only delaying the issue or the things that clearly need working on, the more we avoid it, the worst it gets, you never want things to get too bad to the point where everything starts falling apart, so if we can we should really take a look and start acknowledging the things that need acknowledging because it’s so easy to put things off, the real challenge is realizing something needs working on and trying our best to look at those things, see what needs our attention and working on fixing it if we can.

I feel like I have more to say with this topic, but I think I might end up doing a video on it and talking a little bit more about it, this is just the main stuff!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

A Slight Reflection, But Not One Completely…..

Hiya, so how has everyone’s day been!? I hope good…..today’s been a bit on the rainy side over here, but it hasn’t been all that bad so that’s something right!? I actually didn’t realize I hadn’t written anything for about 3 days, I thought it was only 2, but I guess I skipped the 27th, I remember that because I had a really bad headache that day, as for the weekend…..

I didn’t have much to write about so I didn’t write anything, I hope all of your weekends were alright though, can’t believe tomorrow is the last day of December and of 2019…….*deep breath* and *exhale* I……I don’t even know what to say really, just wow……that is all I want to say on that!!

To be honest, there’s a lot that i’ve been reflecting on with 2019 and just thinking of as whole, but I really don’t want to express on it, at least not right now anyway, sometimes it’s best to just think silently on everything at least until you’re able to really gather everything together,

It’s like if you’re searching for wood or any kind of scraps you can find to add to a campfire, you look for the best kind of wood or ones that you’re sure will burn the longest, but also have the fire last the longest so you don’t have to go and search for some for a while, you know what I mean!?

Once you actually find the wood you’re looking for, you know you’ll soon be closer to being able to enjoy the campfire and all it’s warmth and all that jazz!! What’s funny though is, i’ve never actually made a campfire before so I have no idea why I even just made that comparison, but hey, I did so…..hopefully it worked and made sense, if not just go with it okay!!

All I can tell you is i’ll be searching for some bark for a good while, before I actually enjoy the campfire and it’ll be interesting considering i’ve never made one before so, who knows how it’ll go, hopefully it’ll all work out okay though and hopefully it’ll be in the way that i’m hoping for it……the only thing that is needed is patience, faith and trust that it will work out fine!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Almost A Year (July 1, 2019 Entry)

So this summer is doing some speed by’s alright, we’ve finished with June and now we’re in the month of July, it’s insane how quick that’s gone, surprising, no, it tends to always happen that way, but it’s not going to stop us from saying ” Woah what the….that was quick” every time….

In a few more days it’ll be a year since creating this blog, how crazy is that huh!? If you were to ask me how I feel about it, well for one I wouldn’t be able to tell you exactly, let’s just say it’s not been easy!! I mean it hasn’t been extremely hard, but it hasn’t been a walk in the park either that’s just my experience with it anyway, i’m sure it’s not always like that for everyone.

I’m not going to really go into my blogging experience just yet, i’d like to wait until we get to a year of it first at least, this is just a small lead up to it. I know, I know, the anticipation right haha (no i’m kidding)

I’ve gotta admit though, i’m feeling a little nervous and anxious, not for the 1 year of blogging coming up or anything, for other reasons that I can’t really wrap my head around at the moment, when it comes to how i’m going to feel with it getting close to a year of blogging however,

I’m curious to know how exactly i’m going to feel that day, will I be anxious, excited or will I not have a specific reaction at all!? That is something we’ll have to wait and find out about won’t we!?

Now i’ve been thinking (it’s actually my specialty) seriously though, i’ve been thinking about ways to where I could make this blog better, not that i’m unhappy with it, I just always feel it could use something else to it, what exactly……that’s a good question actually!! I was thinking maybe a bit more personal or something, you know really let some emotions out, but then I think is that too much, should I not!?

I could also add more interest of things that i’d want to share on here, but I don’t quite know, it’s something i’ll have to really sit and think on, not overly, because I tend to have a habit of getting my brain all worked up because i’m stressing on things way more than I need to…….AS ALWAYS!!

It’s pretty much the story of my life if i’m being honest……anyone else out there feel that way!? Probably…..but anyway, with that I hope you guys are having a good Summer and your enjoying yourselves as well as your day and I hope you’re all doing well too!!

Before I sign off, I wanted to leave you all with a song of the day, I came up with something and was thinking whenever I write entries like this, i’ll add a song at the end so it doesn’t seem so bare, you know!?

Song Of The Day: Rescue By Hunter Hayes

This song is one of my favorites, it’s also one that i’ve been singing to myself again recently, so I thought hey why not share it, it’s a really good song, it’s a country song if you’re alright with that, not only are the lyrics great, but so is the music video for it, it’s quite artsy and inspiring depending on how you look at it……probably could’ve did a summer song to welcome July,

However I chose this song for a reason, it’s the type of song where if you’re feeling a bit low or are going through something, it let’s you know “hey it’s okay, i’m here for you and I understand the way you feel, cause I feel it too sometimes” so if you want to let some emotions out or you’re looking for a bit of comfort or just looking for a new song, it’s there for you!!

Also if you’re wanting to chat about anything, doesn’t have to be anything serious, could be random, feel free to share here, i’ll be more than happy to listen, signing off now, Happy July 1st everyone!! ^_^ (now the 2nd)

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

The Road To Responsibility….

When you’re a kid you don’t really have that many responsibilities, but each time we get older we tend to learn a new one and then it just starts to form as something we don’t need to memorize because we’ve done it so much and once we become a full on adult, that’s when the responsibility really come around, we tend to handle more and more, our stress levels fly through the roof majority of the time and then we learn struggle………

You wonder if you’re able to handle it all, because when we’re younger we think that everything is easy, we don’t really have much care about anything, but then you come to that road where everything that you once knew or thought was simple and easy, ends up not being so simple and easy………you find that decisions become harder to make and that things become a whole lot much more tougher to get through.

We don’t see those kind of things when we’re younger, we don’t see the stress, struggle or all the other things people had to get through just to get to where they wanted to be……..to us as kids, we just see the results of it, not the hardships of it all. There’s so much more to it, there’s always a story behind it, everything has a story behind it, even if we’re not always exactly sure what that story is, there’s always one……..

When you come to a crossroad of responsibility and thinking things are always so simple and easy, which one would you go on choosing!? I’m going to guess the simple and easy road right!? That’s what we all want to say, but in a realistic world, it’s not always like that, we can try to avoid all the responsibility in the world, but we all know at some point, we’re going to have to take them on one way or another and it’s better to take them on once it’s in front of you then to keep leaving it for another time.

Leaving it for another time only delays it, it doesn’t make it go away, the more next times we give it, the more we’ll have to do and believe me when I say, you never want things to pile up, because you’ll just end up stressing more about it and you don’t want that.

Now I know why people plan things out sometimes, it’s because it helps them get things done better and helps them sort all they need to out, i’m not much of planner…….however, I do have a planner side to me though, we all have some kind of a planner side, even if we don’t use it much, when it comes to responsibility though, sometimes you need to use your planning side, otherwise how would we know where to start!?

There comes a moment where you have to step up to the responsibility of your life, even if you’re not sure how, you don’t have to do it alone, hopefully there’s some support there for you, but eventually we will have to walk down that path sooner or later, better sooner than later though……

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Last Day Of December And 2018……LONG REFLECTION!!!

So it’s the last day of December and there’s only a few more hours left until we enter 2019………..maybe for some it’s already 2019 i’m not sure, I know some people are closer to it being 2019 then we are though. It’s been quite a year 2018 has, a lot happened, I met my boyfriend in person in the beginning of January of 2018, he came back again in March and pretty much lived over here for 3 months, we got to spend our 1 year anniversary together and he even spent my birthday with me………that was the happiest i’ve ever been having him with me and being together for that long, it’ll always be one of my favorite moments of the year.

He got to meet one of my internet friends who became one of my best friends and who actually was the one that helped me create this blog of mine, so that was another moment that i’m thankful for with this year. He got to meet one of my best friends I went to high school with which was nice as well, it was just real nice having him with me and getting to know everyone and everything in general…………so many different moments that I could put here that was just very memorable in 2018 and I want to keep those in mind and put them in my memory box as I hold on to them real tightly and that’s what i’m gonna do my best to do, because those are the things I should be remembering and focusing on.

I know I talked about this year being both the best and not the best at the same time, but i’ve found myself only focusing on what wasn’t good about this year and i’m real sorry about that……….I put all my energy and focus on what happened that wasn’t good and wondering why it happened that I didn’t appreciate the good parts about this year……….I put myself in this state of mind that I hated, kicked myself down a whole lot, blamed myself for everything and that’s not something that should’ve happened, although yeah there was a lot of hard times especially around the summer, I still shouldn’t have looked at the negatives with this year……….this year would’ve turned out a whole lot differently, had I looked at it differently.

Did I make a lot of mistakes!? yes, am I proud of them!? no I am not, but that doesn’t mean that I should only look at the things I did wrong, i’m not perfect, I always tried to be and the truth of the matter is i’m not and i’m not going to ever be…………..and that’s something that was always hard for me to come to terms with, because i’ve always had this perfectionist in me that felt that everything I did had to be perfect, that’s why for so many years, i’ve always did what everyone wanted me to do, because I thought that’s what I needed to do, I always wanted everyone to be happy…………but constantly wanting everyone to be happy, you find that you become unhappy in the process of that and that’s when you start breaking down.

This year……….I guess I finally broke down and I didn’t know what to do, so I ended up doing what came naturally to me and that was to shut down……..and that took me away from everything, some would say otherwise, but it was me who broke down, it was me who made myself the way I was…………and the weird part is…………I never once stopped to think that, I never once asked myself why I was the way I was, but you realize that sitting with yourself and being in your head 24/7 there’s a lot of things that you uncover about yourself and there was a lot of things that I uncovered about myself and I began to like myself less and less because of that, which made me become very hard on myself and i’ve always been hard on myself, but it was never to the point of where I was this year.

There’s a lot of different things I learned this year, I learned that blaming yourself for things all the time isn’t good, I learned that although you may want to change things and you wish that certain things would go back to how they use to be, they won’t and you can’t……….and yeah it’s real frustrating, but you can’t change the past, you can only work on trying to makes sure the next thing that you do doesn’t turn out the way it did before.

I learned that you can’t keep dwelling on what happened in the past, you’ll only keep yourself there by doing that and that’s not something you want. I learned that we’re not the only ones that have a hard time, there are worst things that happen and when we feel as though, we’re going through so much, we complain about it, it’s just a human thing, it’s okay to complain once in a while, but you also have to make sure that you know that, there are people who go through things a whole lot more than what we are going through, in the moments when we’re feeling at our lowest of lows, but know it’s also alright to have a few bad days yourself, just make sure you’re not having them all the time.

Those are a lot of lessons that I had and still need to keep in mind, but the main and big thing that I learned this year is, in order to move forward you have to let yourself move forward and not let fear keep you from putting in hard work to things, as much as we may want it to, life doesn’t come easy, but that still shouldn’t stop you from living life. It’s easy to get caught up in wanting to know how everything is going to play out and how it’s going to be, whether you’ll do well and everything……….but when you find yourself doing that, you end up putting so much more stress and pressure on yourself for it, that it makes your brain think that it’s scary and that you’re unable to do it, which will make you freeze up and it’ll make you think that you’re not going to be good enough for it and you don’t want to ever do that.

You don’t want to let fear keep you from being happy and enjoying things, because you’re afraid that it’s not going to go well or that you’re going to mess everything up, you have to do your best to keep your mind away from those sorts of thoughts, because if you let it take over, you’ll never want to move and believe me that’s something you want to avoid doing. If there’s anything you should avoid, avoid holding yourself back and keeping yourself from where I kept myself all these years, i’ve been afraid my whole life and because I was afraid and scared I ended up not really trying as hard as I should’ve, keeping myself within four walls everywhere I went and trust me that’s not how you want to live, it gets boring after a while of it.

This coming from me and from someone who has kept herself to herself for a very long time, if you ever find yourself wanting to hold yourself back from something that you feel deeply for or just anything, DON’T unless you feel it to be super important, don’t hold yourself back, be happy and give things a try even if you end up not liking it, try, you’ll thank yourself so much for it and you’ll be able to look back and be proud of yourself for it too.

This year has been full of lessons, emotions and a whooole lot of thinking, i’m a little nervous for this year i’ll be honest, although it’s just another year, it’s a year that I really need to make count and not be afraid of and that’s scary, but I know that by changing things around, i’ll feel better for it.

So……..what’s your reflection on 2018!?

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~