Tag: Reflection

Don’t You Ever Grow Up….

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

There comes a day when you start to realize just how quickly everything goes….at first you don’t really think all that much about it, until that wave of realism comes rushing over you. At times it can be extremely overwhelming and hard to grasp, but the more you go about it, the less anxious it gets, sometimes it can make you feel a bit more anxious then what you thought….but it’s important to find some kind of grounding with those kind of moments and try to push through them!

This journey that we’re all on, although very much different, is still quite the same….what I mean by that is for one, we all have some kind of challenges to face, we have to get over bumps to be able to head towards where we’re going and many other things….one thing for sure though…..we’re all just a little or very much scared with each unknown thing that we come across! It’s not until we actually face those uncertain moments that we become less worried about them!

When we’re kids, there’s not really much to worry about is there!? At least for us kids, it’s the parents that do all the worrying, while we’re being quite the curious beings we are, trying to explore all that’s around us…..once we become teenages well that’s where all the challenges come in and where we start to discover who we are just a little bit more….some of us become trouble makers and some may still be trying to find their own voice! I won’t tell you which one I was, although you can probably guess….if you took a guess and said troublemaker well you would be somewhat correct, but more opposite based then what it may seem.

I enjoyed testing people as a kid and if I didn’t like something I would have no problem saying it…..I was a lot tougher and outspoken as a kid more than as a teen……I was what you would call the quiet kid during my teenage years, especially in high school, you would think that, it’d be the other way around, but no…..I didn’t really step out of comfort much during the higher level that life had going for me then…..I became what everyone loves to be (sarcastically speaking) a people pleaser…..to keep the story short…..it took a very long time to get myself out of that!

When I say a long time, let’s just say it wasn’t until recently that, I let that side of me go….well most it at least and when I say recently I mean about…..2 years ago…..it may seem long and yeah it is, but at the same time no it’s not! I’m 27 now and to quote one of my all time favorite artists Alexz Johnson and her song Aftermath “Who I was back then I barely recognize her” which is the truth, right now at this moment….I never thought I would be where I’m currently at now in a more, as a person kind of base, as well as a bit of surroundings!

There are days where I will randomly sit with myself and take everything in and even though I know i’ve gone through it…I still get a bit surprised on how much I’ve transformed as a person and for me it’s a little hard to believe sometimes! There’s still stuff that I know will eventually be improve on, but to collect on everything so far, it’s a little of a wow moment….it may not be a lot to you, but for me it’s a lot….but that’s what growth does to all of us…..we don’t realize certain aspects to ourselves until it sorta hits us in the face and at that point, you have no choice, but to really look at it for a second, to look at yourself and all that you’ve overcomed, each and every challenge that you didn’t think you would possibly get through!

Mind the fears and anxieties of those particular moments and not realize through everything you did eventually get through them, there may have been a lot of ups and downs, hard turns, feeling like you’re going in some kind of loop and let’s not pretend that, there weren’t a couple crashes in those times as well…..we’ve all felt like we hit a dead end and just when that hope and wonder of not knowing whether you’d get out or not, enters your mind…..there would always be that one thing, that made you feel like “I can’t give up…I need to keep going” we might’ve not known where you were going, but you had something in your heart and deep down where you knew….the more you went you would be alright!

We always know the way….even when we think we don’t, it’s always important that we take a moment to listen to our hearts as well as intuition…..it can be hard though because sometimes we do fight with ourselves about what it we actually feel, but even if we aren’t exactly sure in the moment….all we have to do is just go with the next best thing that feels right and makes sense to us…..it may not make sense to everyone else, including those close to you, but honestly the only person it needs to make sense to is you…..no one is really going to truly understand the jouney you go on or that I go on, because it’s not their journey it’s yours, it’s mine, it’s ours as a collective, we’re all experiencing things differently and the older that we get….it can become more difficult to choose the right direction.

Here’s the thing though, there’s really no wrong way of doing things…..if you feel it to be right then it is, who cares if people don’t see it the same way, if it really wasn’t going to be the best for you…..you would know and you’d be told in some way, but you’re not ever going to truly know if you don’t take the chance in finding out! You can be scared and nervous, but don’t ever let it stop you, you got to go for what it is you believe in, because that’s where you will see how much growth you’re going to get from it. You don’t need to feel like you can’t because of whatever or you feel it’s going to upset people….as hard and frightening it is to grow up a bit….it is absolutely necessary especially when you know you want it!

You want to be able to say you tried everything and learned a whole lot from it, all while also saying “I discovered this and I love it” or “Yeah I’ve seen this and even gave it go….it wasn’t my favorite thing, but it was alright” take that in whatever context you want, however I mean it more in a sense of, experiencing all that you have yet to see and would like to see, but not being afraid to step out of comfort, those kind of things! Channel into your kid energy, which by the way is always there, you just have to allow yourself to bring it out at times, but when it comes to curiosity and fearlessness that’s where it can really help guide you!

Just bare in mind that, there will be unexpected and uncomfortable situations that you’ll have to go through and that’s okay! You may not enjoy the things you came across along the way fully, but you’ll still learn something from it and hey even with those not so great moments, there is still something great within them….but a lot of the time, they show themselves when you’re not really paying attention, so if you want to catch them just be aware and stay open to the possibilities!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Changes and Transformations….

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Good Morning, hope that you all have been well these days! We’re now a week into the month of March for many out there, a lot has probably happened already be it big or something small that you’ve been also looking forward too and for others March might still feel like you’re just getting started and that’s perfectly okay! We all have a specific pace that we start with, things could be going really fast and quick for a lot of you, while for some March could be catching you by surprise where things start feeling a bit unexpected, in a sense where, you may find yourself more busy then usual or in other ways where you may not normally be used to if that makes sense!?

Yesterday I found myself deep in thought about a lot of things, I was out for most of the day so it was a bit productive, however I wasn’t really in a talkive mood, I mean don’t get me wrong I did speak a bit, but I wasn’t in my usual talkive state that I normally am….a lot of the time when that happens, it’s because I just have a lot on my mind and it gets to the point where I don’t really want to talk…..in those moments talking for me becomes a bit of chore to deal with so I like to say as little as I can if I’m able to! I started to become a bit more chatty during the evening though, but it still took me a while!

I guess it’s just my way of processing my own thoughts and dealing with them in some way, I normally try and distract myself when I start getting really into my own mind, but I also know when I need to allow my thoughts to be what it is they are and not push them aside, by doing that it’s only going to come at you harder so you want to make sure that your being considerate with yourself in those times of deep thinking…..yesterday I had a thought to myself regarding my surroundings, but involving how everything’s changed!

All the places that I once knew and saw growing up, most of them are all different now, building that, were once there are no longer around and if they are, they’ve changed so much to where you don’t really recongize them, it’s kind of like seeing a time lapse of what you used to know recontructed right before your eyes, but you’re seeing the transformation of what it was then, to what it is now and seeing that, seeing all the places that you’ve grown up with change and look completely new to what you used to see, it really hits you just how much things really transform an old shop that you may have gone to a lot when you were a kid, is either no longer there or isn’t quite the same as you once remembered it!

It’s a mind blowing experience because even though you know it’s different, there something in you that feels like you still need a bit of time to process it fully, yet you never really get the chance to, due to the fact that it’s already changed and transformed so much that you don’t get much room to feel it entirely the way you want. It’s the same with people, although they have certain things with them that stayed the same, you already know that they too have transformed and are a lot different to what you remember them to be, but be it so,

There’s always that part of you that hopes that the relationship that you had with them and the bond that you once shared didn’t change and a lot of the time you find it did, but you do get those one of kind moments where even though you and that person have grown and seen things in a more….I guess you can say mature perspective to how you used to see things….even though all that’s happened, you find that it’s easy for you to just come back together as if nothings changed at all and just pick up where you left off….with those moments though it can feel a bit nervewracking and scary, it’s like meeting someone that you already know for the first time all over again….and it’s not something you would normally think to get nervous about, but you do because you know it’s different!!

You start feeling like you have to prepare yourself again and get ready for it, it’s like a new journey and adventure that you know, but don’t know at the same time so you’re kind of just hoping for the best and for things to turn out okay, it’ll sometimes even leave you wondering if they still feel the same about you even if you know they do, you still can’t help, but have those thoughts in mind that, now that doesn’t neccasarily mean it’s a bad thing, it’s just curious wonders! That being said, you won’t really know unless you put yourself out there to feel those things and be okay with feeling them, I like to think they’re normal, it just simply shows how much you really truly and deeply care as well as how much that person still means to you!!

Fear or no fear, changes and transforamtions will always happen, even if you don’t really get the chance to take it in the way you want or you find you aren’t able to really prepare, it’s okay….I guess the best way to look at it is to just give it a go anyway when it involves a new experience, but if it involves a change that you have no control of, like seeing a place you once knew when you were younger in a whole new way, you kind of just have to adapt the best way you can with it, keep those memories close to you always and whatever connection you made with it…..just know that it will always be with you, never be afraid of changes and don’t be afraid of transforming the way you feel you are wanting to, it’s all part of living life so try not to hold yourself back from experiencing all that you want to experience at the end of the day you gotta do what makes you happy!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Now Playing: 7 Years By Lucas Graham

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This song might be one of the hardest songs to at least try and come up with an opening for! Hope you all are having a nice Wednesday….my Wednesday is a bit all over the place, I had a bit of a sleepless night yesterday so I’m not entirely well rested, but I got a bit of sleep….and I say that because I’m writing this post at the current moment so my mind focus is half way there today which I can deal with!

I’m not really sure how many of you remember this beautiful tune let alone have even heard of it, if you haven’t listen to 7 years By Lucas Graham, I would definitely recommend it, the storytelling within this song will have you in tears and leave you with chills and if it doesn’t I still think that you will feel something with it, I mean I’ve just recently came back to this tune, like I have always know it to be around and there with all the other songs I half and half listen to on my Spotify, but before I could never listen to it often because of how moving and deep it was!

Anytime it would come on, I would skip it, not because I didn’t like it! I love 7 years like I said it’s one of Lucas Grahams best songs that he released, although I don’t listen to a lot of his stuff, I still truly appreciate it for what it is and how deep he was willing to go with the lyrics, but I always had to skip this one and the reason is because I honestly didn’t want to cry every time I heard it! I listened to this song TWICE yesterday and both times I had tears coming down my face as nerdy as that sounds, but I’ll admit it, I can’t help myself when I hear good music and to me 7 years is good music!

It’s like that with a few songs truthfully, but we’ll just keep on the topic here, I don’t know what it is about this song, it really gives you mixed emotions in a sense of you hear it and you can’t help, but to hear it more than once to really take in the lyrics, however you also don’t want to listen to it, because of how well it pulls at your emotions and gets you to really think and understand the perspective he was singing from.

It leaves you feeling as though with each lyric…..it’s not just a personal thing for him, but it feels like a personal thing to you as well, there’s a lot that is relatable about the song which is why you would feel it deep within the soul and core of yourself! It’s funny because, it was this year that this song sorta came back to me, it was when I went to PR for the first time and I heard it on the radio and as much as I wanted to skip it, I could not so I had to listen to it, after that trip though, I hadn’t heard it for a few months, until around maybe mid November I want to say to….I stop listening to music for a bit on Spotify and literally yesterday I heard it again…..

It’s actually pretty fitting for the season seeing that it was released during the month of December and if you really take it in and feel it, you’ll notice how it’s about reflection and what season do we do the most reflecting!? Winter, why!? Well the reason to that is due to the fact that it gets closer to the end of the year and so we tend to recollect every thought, every moment and just everything in general because that’s our way of getting ready for the new year to come and it’s for that reason alone that when you hear this song, you feel the winter atmosphere within it!

It’s cold and not in a heartless way, but in a way of just allowing our minds to wander and ponder about all these unknowing feelings that we kept in for so long, as well as some feelings we didn’t even know we had lingering inside of us until they decided to surface…..and it’s songs like 7 years that really gets you to do some of your own self reflection and understand certain situations better, understand your own or other people’s emotions and all that jazz! It can also help to force out anything that you felt yourself bottle up for a while,

Afraid of sharing what it is what you may have been truly feeling…7 years to me is literally what a sleepless night feels like…..not being able to rest, because you’ve got a million and 5 thoughts coming at you all at once where you feel you won’t be able to sleep until your brain is done getting rid of all those backed up junk mail that we just keep storing away up until it’s time to sort through them always on the days that you may not really want to if I’m being honest….I still feel I have more to say with this song, I don’t know how much more really, but all I know is…..I feel there’s more I would like to add giving my thoughts on the song, I’ll stop here and if I have any other feeling on it, I’ll write it down and share them, maybe as an upcoming episode or video…..if not then I’ll just part 2 it as a blog post….we’ll see how it goes!

If you’re interested in checking out the song, I’ll share the link to it for you guys! That’s everything for now, I hope you all have a good rest of the day, take care, stay safe and I’ll see you soon!

7 Years By Lucas Graham

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Happy Holidays, May It Treat You All Kind!

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Ahhh the holidays…..some people love it, while others…..loath it! To be fair the holidays are always a bit of an up in the air kind of topic, it’s always getting mixed feelings whenever it rolls around! The way I see it however is, I try and make the most of the holidays, it’s not always been the greatest of times, but even then I know that you can always choose to focus on the best parts of it. I think one of the reasons most people don’t really enjoy the holidays is due to the fact that, the people they celebrated those times with are no longer around, so every time it does come to the jolliest of jolly days…..it’s hard to get into the spirit of it!

Which I understand, it’s never easy to go through life without always having that one person there to help you get through it or just help to be the best part of it….and when that person or number of people are no longer here…..it just always feels like something is missing and no matter how hard you may try to put it in the back in of your mind, you’re always going to find yourself feeling that heaviness of not having that person there.

I was thinking about this to myself not that long ago as I was washing the dishes, it’s been a bit of a morning coming from a very long eventful week, it’s not been super crazy the morning anyway, there was just something that happened yesterday evening that had the morning be a little down-ish, but I like to think that it’s a little bit better now, maybe not in a complete sense of it, but a good sense of it nonetheless!

Anyway, I was thinking to myself on how if it were possible to always have certain people with us in the sense of the people that are no longer here….we wouldn’t have to worry and they would just be with us always, but as we all are aware deep down, that’s not always possible…..and as much as I don’t want to say it, the reality of it is that it wouldn’t be life is we had the choice to have that happen.

Life is a very interesting thing, but one of the things to life is that although we have control of certain ways of life, we don’t have control of everything and that’s something that no matter how much we know it and how much we wish we did….there’s no denying that we don’t and that’s where it will always be hard, especially when it comes to those that are very special in our lives or when trying to do something even! Whether we all feel it or not, we all like a bit of control let’s face it, but it’s when there are things that are out of our control where we stress ourselves out more, knowing deep within us, there’s nothing we can do about it,

Yet we will still try and have it in our minds until we’re blue in the face because it’s just difficult to comprehend, we may accept it after fighting so long to not want to understand, but it doesn’t mean that it’s still easy…..

There’s many reasons to why the holidays are always such a rough time for most people. It could be that something big happened during that time and not in a good way, not talking on the fact of losing people here, but more in a sense of having something deep and personal happen! Maybe for some, you might’ve been battling inner demons for a specific amount of years until eventually getting through it and coming out on the other side safely or just not having the best holiday experiences, due to family not always being the best, not having anyone to celebrate it with and many other reasons.

So whenever it comes around it’s just always this….not wanting to use the word Trauma, but maybe for those out there it could be for that reason, where a big Traumatic event happened during the holidays or it just not always been positive whenever it did come to this time of year….like I said, the holiday times are rough and it’s always when it gets close to the end of the year because that’s when we do most of our reflecting, with all the things we felt, what we went through, trying to release everything in our hearts and mind in hopes that those things don’t follow us into the new year, which sometimes it does, because we don’t allow ourselves to let go of all those things that kept us up all night and feeling so stressed out!

We may feel like we let it all go, but we still carry certain events, thoughts, emotions with us and I’m not saying it’s bad, it’s good to keep things close to our hearts, it’s just the things that we choose to carry are the same things that we can’t control instead of just allowing some of those uncontrolled things to unfold the way they’re meant to all while accepting and letting go of the things that may be unfinished for a reason…..

As for the holidays, yeah it’s hectic and full of mixed emotions, but it’s not always bad, there’s always something to look forward to, we just have to be willing to see it and trust that it will always lead somewhere good, be it big or small….I think we all sometimes forget what the holidays are truly about, which is why the whole magic and feel of it gets a bit lost, but it doesn’t mean that it’s not still there, it’s always there, it can just take a while to really see it, due to the journey being a bit bumpy and going all over the place, but even then we should always try and appreciate it, because without all our journey experiences, we wouldn’t be who we are today!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

The 1st Of November….(Short Post)

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Good Evening! Hope everyone has been doing alright, hard to believe that we’re already in the month of November, I hope those who celebrated Halloween enjoyed themselves yesterday and got a good amount of candy at that! I’m not really sure how to describe the start of the month, I guess you can say it’s been….all over the place, it’s hasn’t quite gotten it’s feet on the ground entirely just yet, but you can tell it’s trying despite the stress and non stress…it’s just been pretty weird is what I mean, however it did just start sooo….it’s a little too soon to talk fully about it!

It might be a lot different for you guys though, maybe some of you are trying to sort out things and get yourself going in a way, some might be doing a bit of self reflection, maybe November has got you in all sort of ways, it’s got me feeling different things that’s for sure….that being said, again November just started, we still got time to turn it around somehow! I thought I at least had an idea to what November was going to be like, but now I’m having to sit and think of what I want it to be like, although that was probably going to be something I thought about anyway regardless, with every new month, you tend to think about what could come from it!

November is no exception to that, I have to think up some new ideas that I would like to bring for this month, with October I tried to stick with the themes I had for it, but I will admit that I didn’t really do everything I had in mind for it, so with November I’m hoping that I can come up with new things and see what they turn into, all while trying to keep my cool in all of it as well! I guess I just need to feel out this month and see what works with it….try and find a good footing to it!

Yeah, I don’t really know what else to say….so I guess this post is meant to be a short one for now, I hope that you all have had a good start to November and that it continues to be all that you hoped for and some that is still yet to be unknown and unexpected, but good as well!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Up And Early….With Some Thoughts!

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Good Morning! Happy Saturday hope you’re all having a very nice and relaxing weekend or just a nice weekend, if you’re up and running around today! I got up a bit early today for no reason, but then went back to sleep for a while, originally when I got up it was about 7:48am I believe, I had a feeling it was early the first time I got up, I just didn’t know it was that early and when I went back to sleep and got up again, it was about 8:26am! I tend to get up around 8am anyway so that’s my usual time of getting myself up, if my body wakes me up early….I’ll get up about 7am and will stay up during that time if I feel I can’t get back to sleep or I’m just feeling like an early bird!

but if I’m just getting up early for nothing, I’ll randomly find myself up between the times of 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am & 6am, lately though the earliest of early of me getting up will be about like maybe 5am or 6am tops the other times are only when I have too much in my head and I have trouble sleeping…..the latest that I tend to get up or prefer to get up is 9am…..sometimes on rare occasions 10am, but that’s only when I’m really really tired and haven’t slept in a while, it’s not my preferred time to get up, but when it happens I know it’s because I barely slept so I try not to beat myself up when I do get up at that time!

I don’t really know why I’m writing about this so if you’re confused well so am I, sometimes I just write whatever feels like coming out and I try not to question it, but I don’t have a clue on why I just explained all of that to you guys…..don’t mind me! Hopefully everyone’s morning has gone well, I know for some of you out there, it’s probably the afternoon or getting close to the evening time, It’s 10am now as I’m continuing writing this post….when I got up this early morning I sat outside for a bit and was taking a lot of things in, for one….you know we’ve arrived in September cause it’s getting more chilly out, although it tends to be pretty cold in the early mornings anyway, but even when it’d not super early and the suns out beaming all over you, you tend to notice how different the air is and how cooler it’s gotten compared to the other days!

You know it’s September when you start to see more Crows flying by, before you’d only see them here and there, but the amount of crows I’ve been seeing since September started just by sitting outside is a good amount to count, it’s quite mad! I know I recently talked about doing a lot of thinking about things, which I am, I’ve not stopped thinking recently, there’s a lot going on personally, some a little too personal to share on here, although sometimes I want to, but I don’t for the simple fact of, it’s not everyone’s business, there are things you keep to yourself and there are things you only share with close people…..

Sometimes though, you don’t even want to share it with the people around you either, because you feel like it will only burden them and it’s best to not say anything and deal with it yourself! However it can get a lot to handle and sometimes you don’t know what to do, but you keep trying anyway, even when you know you should probably stop…..and you want to stop, but then just when you think that everything is good…..it comes right back and you’re there having to deal with it again! You keep strong though and you push through!

but life will keep pushing you until you do something and that could either be approaching the situation and facing the music or you leave it alone and sometimes life pushes you, for you to leave it alone or for you to finally say “THAT’S IT, NO MORE” I guess it all comes back to choosing your battles knowing when to fight or to just surrender, lay down the sword and walk away…..sometimes that’s hard because it could mean leaving something that was once important to you behind…..but at some point you have to realize that you can’t fight every battle and you can’t be the one to fix everything! You can be there for people and you help them in the best way possible, but if they refuse to listen and just continuously bring nothing, but drama after drama, you have to think about what’s best for you and your health!

Ask yourself if you want to keep fighting this fight!? Don’t get me wrong some things are definitely worth fight for, like love, happiness and whatever else you feel is worth it! That being said…..there are things that don’t need to always be fought over and if you find yourself stuck in the same old storm and fighting the same battle constantly, eventually you’re not going to have enough energy left to fight or just use for yourself and that’s where you’ll need to worry because without energy, you’ve already lost the battle….so save your energy and use it wisely on what to use it on!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

DragonFly Season…. (Part 1)

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Hope you guys are having a nice Monday! I’d like to say that I am, but I’m not going to sit here and lie to you, I haven’t really been in the best of moods for the past 2 days now, 3 if you’re counting today…..I’ve been trying to get out of my head, but I’ve been finding myself in this deep thought process this past weekend, although I’m always thinking, but it’s a different kind of thought mode I’m in, I’m just feeling a whole lot of emotions that I’m trying so hard to push down, but it’s been really hard!

One of the reasons that I know why I’m feeling this way is because…..well it’s coming to a year that I’ve lost my dog, which probably doesn’t mean anything to those reading this and that’s okay, I know it’s different for everyone and I don’t expect you to feel this feeling with me, that’s not what I want anyway….it’s going to be a year on Sunday the 27th, I’ve been trying not to get emotional about it, to a lot of people losing a pet probably isn’t a thing to get all upset about, but for me…..it was really hard, my dog wasn’t just a pet, she was more than to me, I’ve had a lot of different pets in my life a few cats, dogs from before, fishes, a turtle for a second ha….but Peanut…the name of my dog

She was something, she loved being around everyone, she was a people kind of dog, if you didn’t like dogs, she was going to be the one to change your mind, that’s how loveable she was! She didn’t like other dogs though, at least if she did, she showed it very oddly, always barking at them she was…..she was sweet, but for some reason she also had this mean side to her, but I loved her anyway…..I kind of remember when we got her, she was still kind of a puppy and she was a little shy when I first saw her!

Fun fact:

I didn’t actually pick her, she was picked for me, but even though I didn’t necessarily choose her, she choose me which lend me to be stuck with her….and from there in a very weird way, we bonded! I say very weird way because she was completely opposite to me, but I sometimes felt deep down we were a little similar….I know it’s weird, I mean she was a dog and I’m human, but I like to think your pet reflects you and for that reason can become pretty similar to you as well! Even though she had a way to get under my skin with the things that she did, like how she’d always growl at me and do things out of spite….I loved her, no matter how crazy she’d drive me, she was my fur best friend….I never allowed her in my room and then after a while I would let her in, sometimes she’d wait for me to invite her in and other times she’d just barge in whenever she was feeling extra bold, she was always a sassy one, but that was my Peanut….I wouldn’t have traded her for the world!

I hated the way I lost her and I don’t really like using that word, because of how strong it is, but it’s how I feel and felt then, I really didn’t like the way she went, I won’t ever talk about it on here because it’s too personal, but with what happened…..I think it’s going to be a thing that bothers me for a long time, I’ve grown to accept what happened even though I wish it didn’t, I’ve accepted it! I always think about her and sometimes I wish she was still here so I could hug her and mess with her and just let her know that I really did love her, I loved her so much,

She was the first dog I ever had that I bonded with, she didn’t always listen to me at times, she didn’t even take me seriously when I would yell at her whenever she did something wrong, she didn’t like when I yelled at her, but I knew that she loved me, she showed it in her own way, but I still knew it! I miss her a lot, always, there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about her, she helped me through a lot even though she never knew it and for that I’ll always be grateful for the time I did get with her, despite what happened, I’ll always be thankful for the moments that I was able to share with her as well as the moments she brought to me and for the special opposite bond we had!

You will forever be my Firefly and Dragonfly at times and I know you’ll always be with me cause you follow me wherever I go, well when you feel like it that is…..I love you Peanut, Thank you for everything! That’s one of the reasons I’ve been a little down these past few days, the closer it gets, the more it starts to get to me, but I’m doing my best to not think on it so much, it’s extremely hard, but I’m trying….as for everything else I’m trying to work through that too, if anyone is reading this, I just want to say thank you for listening to me, it means a lot!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

There’ll Always Be A Rainbow Hanging Over Your Head

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Not the exact lyrics of the song Rainbow by Kacey Musgrave, but it’s close enough, yesterday I sat outside I ended up having a bit on my mind and I didn’t know why or where it came from, it just kind of showed up out of nowhere so after I had dinner I just sat outside for a couple of hours, plus it was pretty nice out so I thought why not, little did I know we were getting a bit of a thunder storm towards the late evening, that didn’t stop me from continuing to hang out outside though, I love the rain, so I didn’t mind sitting outside with it, plus I was under something to keep me dry so it was all good!

I purposely went towards the rain though, because like I said I love the rain and I love the feel of it and also I like to get my hair wet whenever it rains, it’s one of my favorite reasons to why I like the rain, call me weird if you want I already know it! I tell you something sitting outside while it’s raining is pretty peaceful and very very nice, the thunder and lighting flashing in the sky can be pretty freighting, but the rain itself is very calming, I can sit and watch it for hours if you let me, I’ve done it a few times already!

I don’t know what it is about the rain I just always liked and appreciated it…..but that aside….yesterday I didn’t really know why I was randomly feeling things after a while I just started singing to myself, I sang a song by one of my all time favorite artist, you might have already heard me talking about her a few times, Alexz Johnson is her name, but I ended up singing a song from her latest album Still Alive, which is also the name of the song I sang to myself, I love that song, it’s so good! Not too long after singing the song to myself…..I’m not really sure what made me look at the sky, well I always look up at the sky, but when I was sitting there in my own mind, I glanced up and I saw something, that something was a rainbow…..

I had to double check because it was a little hard to tell at first when looking at it, it appeared slightly faint, but visible enough to notice it, like it wasn’t the brightest, but you still saw it and when I confirmed the rainbow indeed in the sky, it made me happy and smile a bit, I when to grab my camera so I can take a photo of it, but I then came to the realization that the battery had died, I couldn’t even turn the camera on I forgot to charge it and of course the one time I would’ve liked to have captured that, I couldn’t, but I was okay with it, I took it as maybe I was just meant to see it and not photograph it, I also wanted to take a picture of the sky because it was a very pretty color as the sun was setting and all, but again I couldn’t lol, but regardless, it was a good moment, it made me feel a little better seeing it,

Next time I’ll make sure that my camera’s charged, but this time round, it was just good to see it…..It’s one I won’t forget, well I’m going to try at least, but I’m sure I’ll always remember it, I just wanted to share that it was kind of on my mind a bit!

Hope you’re all doing well!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

I’ve Got The Month Of May

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I was going to go with N’SYNC, but I chose to do it old school and go with The Temptations, plus I thought it was best suited seeing that I literally do have the month of May so it works out! I seriously cannot believe that we have just arrived at the end of April, I do got have to say though, I do appreciate how the months are taking their time to arrive, at least that’s how I personally feel, can’t really speak for everyone else, but I like to think that each month so far has stayed a while, in a sense of they haven’t over stayed, but have just been enjoying themselves for the time they were here for, it’s nice, but that’s just how I have been looking at it, might be weird to say, who knows!

Now although May is set to arrive in a couple of hours, we still have to spend one more day with April and really let her know that she did alright, sure we probably had our up’s and downs, but I got to say that I have a soft spot for April, I mean she gave us a beautiful Super Moon the other night, so gorgeous it was, I didn’t get a photo on the day of it, but I did get one where it was big and bright before the actual Pink Super Moon, I did see it glow though! April for me, has it’s mixed feelings, I do like it, but it also makes me go “oh gosh” that’s only because it’s quite a special and important month to me in many different ways, but yeah April and I see eye to eye and at times don’t, but I still like to acknowledge it as well!

When it came to the month of April, I won’t say it was bad, but it definitely had it’s frustrating and non favorite moments we’ll say, but all that aside, it wasn’t a terrible month, I’m going to choose to take the positives of this soon ending month that is April and I’m going to hope and count on this month that will soon be called May and just trust that all is well with it, because to be honest…..I’m slight wary on it, you might be thinking why!? I have my reasons, but I have a lot of hope that it will be fine, because I’m going to do my damn best to make sure that it is! Just like April, May and I have our moments, but it’s still the month that I have a soft spot for, can’t really tell you how it’s going to be this month, to be fair we all won’t really know how it will be…..guess we’ll find out once we’ve entered it and sat with it for a while, but until then, we’ll wish April a safe and well trip and welcome May once she’s all set!

Here’s a few photo’s I’ve taken throughout the month of April and just some personal favorites of mine ^_^ a bit crazy knowing this is the last blog post of the ending month, hope you like the photos I’ve shared, I’ve been kind into taking pictures of things that inspire me lately, not as much, but somewhat!

  • Reflective House (March Capture)
  • I Call This One Daydream Blue Jay (April Capture)
  • Beauty Is The Cherry Blossom (April Capture)
  • Some Favorites In One Picture (April Capture)

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

January, January….

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

With this month pretty much over now, you’re probably asking yourself “hey how do you think it went!? Don’t ask me i’m still wondering that myself, you got your good days and your not so great day, but overall i’m still not completely sure how this month went, after being away for 3 months on here and just recently returning, you’d think i’d have a lot to say, well to tell you the truth, I really don’t!! Not as often as i’d like at least! However, I still try to bring something and i’m realizing that it’s probably going to be in the spare of the moment for a bit longer, unless I have something I really want to talk about, not thoughts related, but more on things that bring joy and happiness to me in the moments that they do.

My thoughts lately have been a bit everywhere these days with reasonings to it, but also just because they’re everywhere, whether that makes sense or not, hopefully you still get what i’m trying to say….i’m trying to find different things that I can share that will have me coming back here just wanting to share and maybe it’s going to take just a little bit longer and that’s something I have to be okay with….not just with being on here,

but in general, there are things in mind that I have been jotting down and although the thought and idea of it makes me excited….it’s still something that I get nervous about because it’s a whole new thing that i’ve yet to try and take a chance on…i’ve been trying to map it out, in a way I feel might work for me, in a sense where it doesn’t appear as too intimidating, as well as just trying to get myself warmed up for it!!

I may have it written down in a journal yes….but I know there’s a difference between it being an idea and thought compared to actually giving it ago and that’s what i’m trying to get myself warmed up for, being ready for this step of trying something new and just seeing what happens and it’s something I also find myself worrying about, but at the same time i’ve been trying not to bring it as a worry, but see it as something that i’m just preparing for and wanting to have it work out alright before fully getting into it, it’s just a double checking of everything making sure i’m okay with what I have set to go forth with if that makes sense!?

If I had to say how I think this month went, I guess that would be it, just having the thought of wanting to be better prepared for what i’m actually trying to do or better yet, having the idea of what i’m wanting to do….a lot of stuff has been coming out of nowhere and not saying that it’s a bad thing because most times things that come out of nowhere tends to be good and work out well, but sometime you just want to take a moment to really say to yourself “okay let me think about this for a second” with life a lot of things get rushed passed you and it can get very overwhelming and so having that little bit of spared time to really sit and reflect can save a lot of stressful days and help to clear the mind a little so you can feel a little better with where you feel you’re going with whatever journey you find yourself walking….that’s my view of this month!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa