Admit it we’ve all come across this emotion a couple times, you know you have to get things going and you try, but just aren’t having any luck. You find yourself thinking too deeply when you know you should just let it be and you go on a scavenger hunt for your glasses only to realize that it was on your head the whole entire time…….okay that last thing was for humor to relieve a little bit of frustration, I don’t know if that made you laugh or anything, but you know exactly what I mean with that one, we’ve all had it happen to us once or twice…..or more for that matter.

I don’t know what it is about frustration, but whenever you find yourself in a not so grand mood everything starts to get to you, i’m in such a frustrated kind of mode that I got irritated because I felt uncomfortable in my cardigan………I know it’s not that big of a deal, but we all know once you’re in that mode, again everything starts to bother you. I’ve been trying to figure out what to write about ALL DAY!! I tried and tried, but all I was getting was a blank mind and blank pages in my writing journal, yeah I couldn’t even write anything properly in there, I literally wrote one page and that was it, for the past few days i’ve been writing 8 to about 12-16 pages.

Today’s just been full of thoughts and having trouble focusing, I just keep finding myself thinking about everything the closer we get to 2019, it’s literally around the corner can you believe that!? It’s really stressing me out which I know is not a good thing, there’s just so much I keep thinking on and sometimes it’s really hard to grab on to one thing when there’s just so many thoughts racing around in your head, you know!? There’s so much happening and i’ve been trying to control it these past few months and it’s like i’m unable to, which of course is another thing that frustrates me. I go back and forth with myself all the time wondering if i’m doing okay, if what I have here is something worth continuing……….I don’t want to have to go back to my old habits where I start something, but then don’t finish it.

I keep wanting this to be different, I want this to be something I enjoy and that I always look forward to, writing has really helped me these past few months and i’m super grateful and thankful that it’s always been something I could lean on and go to if I ever needed it…….I don’t want to give this up, I don’t want to have it where I don’t think about it, because then it would mean that I don’t care and I want to care. Whenever i’m not writing something new on here, it bugs me because I always have that feeling that I should be writing, I know I haven’t posted anything new for 2 days, my mind hasn’t really been where I know it needs to be, but with this I don’t want to just write random things to where it doesn’t mean anything to me, you know what I mean!?

It’s like if you were a musician and you know you haven’t written a song for a long while so you just end up throwing something together that sounds good, but you know that deep down it wasn’t good and so you end up kicking yourself in the backside for even doing that. Everything I try to write here, I always do my best to talk on topics I care and or am passionate about, they maybe random topics and not alway useful, but when I write and share them with you guys, it’s because I believe in them and I care about them…….now i’m aware that there have been a few times where i’ve written something and then later wish that I didn’t, because I didn’t feel enough passion with it like I should’ve……..i’m sure that we’ve all had those kinds of days where we just post for the heck of it and it’s not right because you should always put everything you have into something, even if it may not get seen in the way you want. 

I want this blog site to mean something not just to me, but i’d also like it to mean something to you guys as well. Whether you enjoy reading stuff like this to where it’s more personal or if you like my random posts to where I talk video games and music, you know stuff like that, to where it’s not so serious……….I just hope that i’m doing okay with this as well as other things too. I hope you guys don’t mind that I wrote all of this, I didn’t know what else to write about, so I thought let’s just talk about the topic of what i’m feeling since it’s the only thing that seems to me pushing me around a bit. I know everyone gets a little frustrated here and there, it’s gonna happen and I know that things will be okay even when it doesn’t seem like it, we know it will be. 

The last thing I want to add is, if you guys are dealing with some frustrations as well  and you kinda just want to vent or you just talk feel free to share here, if you want to that is, you don’t have to, but anyway I hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening. 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash