Look At Those Eyes….

Song Of The Day: Look At Those Eyes By Alexz Johnson (this is one of my favorite songs from of course one of my favorite artists Alexz Johnson, love her!! The title of this post as you can see was inspired by it!!)

They say when you look into the eyes of someone, not only do you see the window to their soul, but you also get to really see their true emotions and how their actually feeling. We always try and hide the way we feel and that’s because we try not to let people know that were struggling, it’s odd though, we’re fine with showing off the happy parts of our lives and of ourselves, but when it comes to the parts we think no ones going to want to see, we hide it and try to lock it away so we’re not asked questions.

Once we find ourselves on the low side of town, we automatically feel as though we have to discard it and put up this front and pretend that everything is okay and that we’re fine…..that we don’t have any issues and were happy, but when you really get a good look, you see that’s not the truth, that’s why we tend to avoid people, because not only are we afraid that we’re going to ruin people’s moods with our own,

but we know that if people spend even the smallest amount of time with us and catch even a glimpse into our eyes…..they will know the truth and see all the emotions and struggles we tried so desperately to keep hidden away and having people see that, makes us want to crawl away somewhere and you may ask why, it’s because we’re ashamed and embarrassed to have to let those things show, the thought of a million questions and worrying…..

It’s for that reason we avoid, it’s for that reason, we think staying to ourselves is much better than being around people, at least when we’re alone we don’t have to worry about feeling uncomfortable with ourselves, because we’ve gotten so used to the feeling. If we’re around people when we aren’t feeling our best it’s like we have to pretend again, we have to go on stage and play this part that we really aren’t familiar with, but we make sure to sell the hell out of it as best as we can, sometimes it works…..

Other times not as much, that’s only because when you have people around you that know you, it’s hard to fool them, unless your acting skills are on a high that day….but everything you need or want to know are in the way of a persons eyes, some are lost, sad, angry…..

Then you have some that are full of light and are actually fine, other times though, when you’re looking into someones eyes you’ll find that they just don’t know what to do and are just trying to get things right someway, even though they have no clue what they’re doing.

P.S. This was a journal entry I wrote a few weeks ago, I felt this to be appropriate to share today, if you have any thoughts share it down below!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

The Talk….

No not that kind of talk if your wondering, it’s more serious, although that kind of talk is serious too….we’re not going to talk about that here though. Hearing the words “we need to talk” or “I need to talk to you” is one of the few words that makes my stomach sink, I mean let’s be real,

No one like those words, it always leads to a conversation you don’t want to hear majority of the time, yet have to face sometimes. It’s just one of those talks you’d rather avoid than talk about, but it’s the only way to talk about things that need talking about, avoiding it only makes the prolong of it worst and more serious and you end up feeling terrible because you knew the conversation needed to be brought up, but refused to approach it,

because of the thought of what that talk might turn into….a lot of the time it might not be all that bad, but it doesn’t mean the thought of it isn’t…..assumptions aren’t the best way to go though, you don’t really know what you’re going to be talking about, until you’re actually talking about it, whether it is “The Talk” or not, you should still talk.

Which talk approach is your worst nightmare!? “We need to talk”, “I need to talk to you” or “can I talk to you!?” share your thoughts below

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Writing Prompt: Write About Yourself

Objective: Describe yourself, surroundings, frame of mind and emotional state, but try and write it in a third person point of you (he/she not I or me)

She wakes up to a repeated routine, washing dishes, making coffee with toast and then sits on her bed in the center of the room. She grabs a few journals from her bookcase, adds a little background noise and tries her best to look busy when deciding on what she can write about in a journal.

Her mind soon starts wandering, thinking on how she should be more productive then this. Feelings of guilt and stress come over her, making the situation look like a good place to sulk and and sit in self-pity, she tries to come up with solutions that could help her to move forward, but she lets herself think of outcomes to trying, letting in the Anxiety and giving her an excuse to not go fourth with it, knowing full well it wasn’t a good one.

She asks herself questions, that she already has the answers to, asking people for advice and tips, hoping that this time she’ll finally put them into actions herself, without the need of guidance. She locks herself away and forces herself to stay where she is, even though she knows it’s not where she wants to be, she glances outside her window, watching everyone’s life inattentive of her own, as she sees it as better. Deep in thought,

She wonders how it got so bad, but only she would know the true answer to that, it was her that held back, allowing herself to fall behind when all she had to do was try harder, she allowed her head to get the best of her in moving forward, underestimating herself and believing she wasn’t good enough. If only she would allow herself to be confident and trust in the abilities that she possesses, instead of questioning and second guessing herself, things would change and be a little better, she just can’t bring herself to believe she has it in her to do so, why you might ask!?

Fear, it’s fear that keeps her hidden, it’s the thought of being judged and feeling as if she won’t fit in wherever she goes, that she’ll feel too out of place. It’s the worry that whatever she does, won’t be good enough, those fears have always been there, but it’s not until now that they’ve started slowly coming to the surface, not fitting in never really bothered her before, but now it ends up in the back of her mind at times, those fears need to go if she wants to get anywhere and even she herself knows it’s time to move.

P.S. I hope I did this whole writing prompt right, I found this creative writing prompt website last night, okay I searched for it more like, I was curious and wanted to see what kind of prompts there were so I could try my hand at it, there were quite a few, I might try out another one, this one was fun, it actually made writing a little less intimidating….

If you would like to give it a try as well, the link is here: Creative Writing Prompts there’s other prompts on there as well if you prefer to do a different one, it’s good writing practice, at least that’s what I think prompts are for, I don’t really do them all that often ha. Hope you enjoy!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Reading Between The Lines….(July 27, 2019)

Sometimes the things we say, are misinterpreted or aren’t as direct as we’d like them to be, even when the things we may be saying are literally said to be direct and taken in properly, does that make sense!? I hope so……

In case you’re still confused to what I mean with that well, no worries, i’ll try and explain it in the best way that I can……as the title says reading between the lines…..what does that mean you might wonder or maybe you know exactly what it means……

The way I see it, is when you’re being told something or you say something to someone else or maybe you’re reading something (I know that’s a lot of somethings in one sentence…..sorry….) that has a specific, message, advice or maybe even someth……I mean, maybe there’s a thing that you wouldn’t see as important, but is important for you to know, even though it’s being presented in a subtle kind of way (I think I nailed that okay…..hopefully)

It doesn’t matter how much you may try and get someone to see what you mean or are trying to get them to understand, sometimes, it still gets overlooked and you could even say it directly to how you mean it, yet you’ll probably end up facepalming yourself because the understanding of it, is still unclear to them or you maybe even sometimes, which is frustrating!!

Just when you think you maybe getting through and everything is sorted and properly understood the way you wanted it to be…..it always ends up being just a little bit off the center in some sort……sometimes you may think screaming it out will help the understanding of it better, but that’s not always the case, when that happens you sometimes think, somethings missing and that maybe you didn’t say it clear enough even when you did…..

Am I making sense here, feel free to let me know if i’ve lost you…..

I don’t know how else to explain it or how else to get it to be clearer, i’ve tried all these different ways of expressing it, but I just don’t know if it’s actually being understood, it’s said to be, but it’s really not when, what is being said in regards of the problem within a situation keeps getting overlooked and avoided as not being important enough………

I mean I know there’s other things to it as well and i’m working on it to fix it this time around, because I know it’s becoming a big issue and I really don’t want it to continue being that way because it’s not really fair for it to be that way…….in order for things to move forward, you have to allow yourself to move forward in the way that you’re wanting to, which can be hard, but at the same time beneficial and good too……

Overall, here’s to hoping that the reading between the lines here sits in this time, otherwise we’re going to be reading the same chapter over and over and to tell you the truth, it got old a long while ago, a new and different chapter to read and enjoy would really be nice, hope you got all that……

So what’s some of your takes on reading between the lines, is it similar to my definition or is yours a bit different, feel free to share if you like!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

The Cycle Continues….(July 10, 2019)

“It’s a circle, I mean cycle” may not seem like the grandest lyrics, but it sure is one of the best lyrics written by the band Paramore, from their song Ignorance, it’s quite simple, yet still affective and one of my picks for the song of the day (if you haven’t heard the song, i’d say give it a listen, if you like that kind of music anyway)

Now i’m not sure if any of what i’m going to write is going to make sense, but let’s see how it all turns out, it might just do……I don’t really understand why some of us do this, why do most of us feel the need to put energy into something that isn’t going to benefit us in the long run!?

Seriously….I mean I get that there are just some things that are hard to ignore, but why bother going out of your way to let certain situations, things and even people affect you!? I could understand if the feeling of the affect is mutual, especially if the affect is coming from certain people, but if you find yourself being the only person getting fired up and agitated all the time, wouldn’t you just leave it alone after awhile!?

Why feed the beast, if you know the beast isn’t going to budge when you’re feeding it!?……I know this is probably a random example, but it came to mind so i’m going to use it, you know in the movie Napoleon Dynamite where he’s trying to feed Tina the Lama or Alpaca dinner (not really sure which one it was, might’ve been a Lama if correct, but I could be wrong)

In the movie he’s trying to feed her, but she’s not eating the food that he’s giving her and you can see, if you’ve watched the movie, how the more he tries to feed her and he sees she’s not eating, the more he ends up frustrated about it…….now i’ve watched that movie a couple times……it’s quite a classic actually, maybe not for everyone and that’s okay.

Thinking back at that scene though, if he noticed she wasn’t eating it right away, had he just maybe given her the food and left it for her to eat when she was actually hungry, it probably would’ve kept his frustration levels low…….what i’m trying to get at is, instead of getting angry or annoyed and letting your emotions run wild as well as continuing to have your stress levels on the roof all the time,

Try just leaving it……actually scratch that, leave it alone, keep it from affecting you so much to the point where it starts affecting everyone else around you, because you may think that your the only one that feels the way you’re feeling, but deep down whether we want to see it that way or not, deep down we know that our moods and the energy that we tend to bring out, affects everyone that is near……

However when it comes to people and certain situations that’s giving you more of a cloud over your head, it doesn’t necessarily mean that person or situation is going to put the same cloud over everyone else’s head, the only thing that will affect everyone is the kind of energy that is being put out…..so if your energy isn’t the greatest and sucks (sorry, yet not sorry) as well as your attitude, It’s going to scatter out on everyone else……

The same way rain falls from the sky and unless you enjoy gloomy days (I do at times, not always, I enjoy rain though) I would avoid or at least minimize and not bother as much on the things, situations or people that really doesn’t keep you on at least a good neutral scale.

If it’s affecting you more than it should and it’s taking you away from having some kind of peace of mind, stop going out of your way to feed it, stop worrying about it, just take the Beatles advice and “Let It Be”

It’s not worth your energy, time or sanity……if we can be good at avoiding calls and messages to some people, than we can manage to not put ourselves in harms way with things that drives us up the wall. We have the ability to tune people out, which by the way isn’t always ideal, because it’s important to listen to people when something is being said, even if we don’t want to hear it and we’ve all been there and done that many times…..

Overall, don’t worry about things that aren’t your things to worry about, especially when it involves only you with a sword, just focus and worry about you, as well as the things and people that keep you grounded.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Acceptance Of The Old Or Of The New!? (July 6, 2019)

I’ll be honest, this title is stumping me a little on how i’m going to write about this, even though I titled it this way, there’s always something that is going to be a little of your comfort level, but sometimes you have to try even if you aren’t sure on how it’ll go or sound in this case.

Sometime we accept certain things that we shouldn’t and push away things that can be too much to take in because it evolves changing the things we are already used to, even if those things may be good for us in the long run.

In this case we talk on the topic of change and new beginnings for something better and different…….the word different is something a lot of us don’t like really like to embrace, because it secretly has the word change, hidden within it which makes us want to run and hide from it.

Not everyone likes change as we all know, even if it’s the good kind, we prefer comfort and not having to change anything around us, we see it as why change something when there’s nothing wrong with it!? However even though it may not look like it from the surface, doesn’t mean that there’s nothing wrong hidden deep down inside…….

The insane part about it is that most of the time we know that we’ve grown or are growing out of the comfort of what we know, yet we choose to stay and continue living in the mentally discomfort of our own ways and or bad habits and lifestyle we try to keep around, knowing that it’s harmful to the growth of ourselves and personality, but we accept it thinking that we need to, when in reality it’s not an obligation to do so……we forget that as human beings we’re meant to evolve and change every now and again.

Even if we have things to us that stay the same, it doesn’t mean we fully are the same person, we change a little everyday and our perspectives on things change as well just like everything else to us…..

We may not like it, but it’s something that we have to let happen otherwise, we’re just going to be miserable and that is nothing, but the truth, the more we hold back on something that is natural to our human nature, the more we’ll continue to regret and become unhappy and we all know that regret is the one thing that we don’t want eating us alive mentally, because even when you think you’ve gotten over something, you’ll find that you really haven’t, it’s always there hidden in your mind even if it doesn’t seem like it.

Accepting something because we think we have to or because we’re used to it, will only make us angry deep under the surface and the more we continue adding fuel to it, the more we’ll start to resent and break and when we start to break everything around us starts collapsing……

Worrying about how people will feel, the way everything will go or even about other peoples lives, only adds stress to the person worrying no one else, it might worry others (people you’re close to) but it won’t do as much damage to them then it will to you and that’s because you’re the one feeling it the most which is why you stress out more, when in reality the only thing that is needed for you to focus on, is yourself in regards to the kind of change you want for you and what you’re willing to accept in your life.

If you accept what is already given, not just with other people, but with yourself and the way things are going in your life depending on whether you’re okay with it or not will depend on the way it makes you feel, if you feel good about it than, there’s no need to worry, but if deep down you’re not willing to accept it than, that should say something clearly……

Although we surround ourselves with different people and different things, we are the ones that have to be satisfied with what we bring and allow in our lives otherwise who’s the happy one!? If it’s not us we’ve done things wrong, we shouldn’t allow nor accept something just because we’re used to it or we feel we have to, not from other people, not even from our scared self, acceptance of the old shouldn’t go clashing with things that are new…..

If anything the old and new should come together in some way, because they’re just as tied together as anything else, we don’t have to get rid of what we already have, but we don’t have to just accept it either, keep what you have, but try to embrace what you can have to,

Even if you are unsure of it, you don’t want to be stuck with a routine that is draining and unfulfilling, accepting where you are and what is expected will only drive you up the walls, instead of being afraid and anxious of a new and most likely better change, try being anxious, but excited for it!!

I mean let’s face it no one is ever calm with new things and if you are, well than I don’t know how that’s possible, but I guess it can happen…….but new things should always bring you a little excitement even when it’s terrifying, I mean if you’re not scared a little, do you even really care!? Be anxious and scared, but be excited a little too, because acceptance of the old should never keep you from accepting what is new…..

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Action……

So I tried to write a poem on the word action and I couldn’t really think of anything so I ended up writing a different one. Action……….I don’t know what exactly it is about the word, but for some reason I can’t help, but feel a little nervous with it and I know that sounds silly, because who would be nervous just seeing the word action, it’s just a word right!?

Yes and no, it’s a bit of both really, most people wouldn’t mind the word overall, it’s a form of productivity, you know getting things done and everything, so why can it make us feel nervous or scared!? Why does it tend to make us freeze or frantic about sometimes!? If I had the answer i’d tell you, believe me I would, but i’m not really sure about it myself……….

I guess when it comes to it the whole phrase “Actions speaks louder than words” it can leave you feeling this pressure which can cause you to want to either go into frantic mode or panic mode. This may sound very silly, but as i’m writing this i’m actually feeling a little anxious, makes no sense I know, but that’s an example of when I say it can it can leave you feeling pressured.

It doesn’t matter whether we’re up and moving with it or not, we’ll always have some kind of pressure added with it and that’s because we naturally put pressure on ourselves. Some of us put too much pressure and some of us find a way to add the right amount of pressure that’s needed, how I have no idea, I guess it’s just because some of us are better at handling pressure.

I’m not really the best under pressure though, I always tend to beat myself up when it comes to things in general, so when i’m already doing that and there’s more pressure added to that, it just makes things worst and believe me sometimes I wish I wasn’t so bad under pressure, but because I know that I am, i’m trying to keep myself calm and not get so worked up easily.

I also know that when it comes to action, I panic before the whole action part and I don’t understand why that always happens with me, but it does, I have ideas and sometimes it’ll take a while for me to actually go through with them………..it’s just a lot of things I guess I don’t know………….i’m not really sure where it started, where I started being afraid of taking action!?

It’s weird because, i’ve been going back into my mind, thinking about the times where action wasn’t a problem, i’m trying to figure out when exactly it happened to where I started going more and more into myself, wanting to understand why I have so much trouble with going fourth with certain things and why i’m always thinking about things too much!?

Why is action always a brick wall in my mind!? I don’t really know why and I don’t think I should ask why, the action part of me I know has to come out eventually and the part that likes to sit and do a deep analyze on whether I should or not, needs to come up with something, patience with a little assertiveness added, might just be the trick to keep the pressure balanced.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~