Who am I!?………that is the question that I tend to ask myself most days along with being asked that in a blog post I read today. We all go through that stage where we think we have everything figured out whether that has to do within ourselves or just in general, but the truth is there are somethings we don’t have figured out and knowing that can be a bit scary and it’ll sometimes make you go down a road of whether you think what you’re doing is even worth it or make you go into a really deep hole of thoughts and what not, but i’m starting to learn that you don’t really have to know everything, we always pretend that we do, but in reality we know that…..we don’t and that’s not to say it’s a bad thing it’s just how it is, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn along the way, but I wanted to answer certain questions from the blog I read today because it really had me thinking, so with the questions i’m gonna be honest even if I don’t have the answer i’ll still try.

One of the questions that was asked was who are you really!? This is gonna be something, but I did say i’d be honest and i’m sticking to that…..okay let’s answer.

Who am I really!? that’s actually a tough question when you’re really thinking about it……..I’m not quite sure actually sometimes I think I know, but then I still find myself trying to figure it out at the same time. Somethings about me though: I am a very random person, I’m very talkative when I want to be, but also if i’m really excited about something, when i’m into something and when i’m really happy…..uhhh I am a person who loves to write, i’m a collector of certain things like journals, pebbles/stones, CD’s (if I like them) and fun collectables. I’m a wanderer at heart, daydreamer (hence the blog name ha) you know this gets harder when you really have to think about it………i’m a girl that deals with anxiety as some of you may know, sometimes I feel a little misunderstood, but I deal with it, because it’s hard to have to explain what it is your feeling all the time without you constantly being questioned. I can be easily distracted at times, i’m stubborn at times as well, but one of the main things about me is I lack self confidence when it comes to the things I do, I try my best to really believe in myself and get myself moving, but I don’t really do that great of a job at it………people say that i’m stronger than I think, but I don’t know if that’s true because lately I find myself really needing people……..you see this girl tries to help everyone else, but honestly this person……me…….she can’t even help herself…….and the reason for that is she doesn’t know how to help herself move on to the things she feels and knows she deserve at least that’s what her mind keeps telling her……..I don’t know how to just stop making excuses on why it’s hard for me to just do what I say i’m gonna do……….I try so hard to stay as positive as I can, but yet inside i’m really struggling and i’m afraid of what I don’t know. I’m the type of person who constantly isolates herself from certain people, i’m the kind of person who feels she needs someone there in order to move forward and that is really sad……..I shouldn’t have to depend on people to help me, I should be able to do it myself at least a little bit and yet I tell myself I can’t and I keep myself from reaching my full potential that I know deep down I have and if I just put my mind to it I know I can do it……..i’m a procrastinator, i’m an optimist who really should be a realist at times and know that I can’t keep thinking that everything’s gonna work out just like that, I have to keep in mind that you have to work hard for stuff and really push yourself if you want to get where you want to be. I’m sure there’s more to me than I know, but if continue to list we’ll be here forever, let’s just say I have my good traits and I have my bad traits as well.

The next question that was asked was: What is it that you want more than anything else!? that’s a good question isn’t it!?

What is it that I want more than anything else? You know this may sound cliche and what not but all I want more than anything else is to be happy and live a simple life, I know that sounds crazy right!? no but seriously, I just want to be be happy doing what it is I want to do while also living a simple life with the one I love, sure that might sound cliche and boring, but that’s want I want more than anything else. I would also like to be able to make some kind of difference and inspire people as well in the best way that I can and I also want to improve myself more and really work on the things I know I need to work on.

The third question we have here is, What do you hate the most about yourself!? Now this wasn’t the actual third question, but i’m only writing about the ones that I feel i’d be able to answer properly so yeah.

What do you hate most about yourself!? This is gonna get real deep i’m sure……one of the things I hate about myself would have to be the way I let my mind take over causing my emotions to go into hyperdrive, now me doing that also causes my mind to take control over everything and it causes me to get very anxious and I start to freak out over the smallest things, sometimes they’re important, other times they’re not. Whenever my anxiety hits, it really hits, they say you have the power to control your emotions and the way you think which sure that maybe true, but it’s not always that easy, another thing that I hate about myself is how I don’t let myself reach my full potential as I stated earlier, I can give myself the push for a bit and then I stop myself from ever achieving what I possibly could have achieved if I just kept going and didn’t give up so quickly. My lack of self confidence is another thing I hate about myself, I know I already spoke on this, but that is another thing I don’t like and the thing is I know I have it in me, I just don’t give myself permission to really embrace it like I should…….I hate how sometimes I don’t stand up for myself when I know I should and I hate that I have the power to change the things that i’m talking about here and yet the only thing i’m good for is putting myself down and giving myself the pity treatment and that’s not right, I shouldn’t do that, I should be lifting myself up and trying to be a better version of myself everyday……..I know I have my best moments sometimes, but I should be doing my best to make sure I give myself all the best moments I can, even when i’m not 100 percent, I should still try and give things my all.

There’s a few things I learned about myself and that i’m still learning, for one I have to learn to be a little more brave and less afraid, I have to learn that hard work isn’t something I should continue to be afraid of, if anything I should be happy to want to better myself instead of keeping myself in the same hole, that i’ve been in for a good amount of time, I need to stop being this timid person who feels like she isn’t capable of making progress in her life and getting herself to a place of success and happiness, i’ve gotta really change the way I live and let myself strive for the things I know I deserve and let myself feel what it’s like to be confident because I know I am, I just gotta keep reminding myself that i’m confident, strong and capable of great things and if I just give myself that push i’ll see that and i’ll know that the person I once was before she’s still in there and no matter what she thinks of herself, she’s still a great person inside and out.

The last question I wanted to answer was the question: If you had just enough time on this planet for one last blog post, what would you write about? 

If I had just enough time on this planet to write one last blog post, I would write about having more confidence in yourself and not letting life past you by, i’m really starting to learn that life is really short and it takes something small to happen to really get you to see the bigger picture of what’s important……….what’s not important is being afraid to succeed and just seeing how far you’re able to go in this life you have, you shouldn’t give up on yourself, you should always do your best no matter if it’s perfect or if it’s just decent, as long as you did your best, that’s all that really matters. We can only do, but so much and it’s up to us to really figure out what it is we want to do. It doesn’t have to be complicated, it can be really simple just make sure once you have an idea of what you want you go after it and do the best that you can to get where it is you want to go, don’t be like me and think that waiting around for it is gonna work because it’s not, you have to really put yourself out there and take that chance whatever that might be, it may be uncomfortable at first, but once you keep easing your way in, it’ll start to get easier. You just gotta give yourself that push and keep going otherwise you might regret it if you don’t. Don’t regret it, Embrace it.

For those wondering what blog post i’ve been talking about this whole time, the blog post that inspired me to want to answer these questions came from a blog called Anyone can blog, you can find it here: ANYONE Can Blog this blog post was so good that I had to reblog it, it really gets you thinking about everything, it was posted by a blogger name Christian Mihai he has this blog called The Art Of Blogging, one of my favorite blogs so far, I think there’s other people who are apart of that blog as well, but yeah go and show them some support and read the blog as well because it really does get you thinking, it’s mainly about blogging but you can learn a lot from their blog, but anyway that is all from me for now I don’t think I have anymore else to say here, I pretty much wrote you all the things you didn’t know about me, uhhh I hope you are able to take something from this and maybe learn a thing or two as well, I hope that you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening 🙂

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

P.S. I just wanted to share that today marks a month of me blogging on here so I just want to say a quick thank you to those who support my blog and actually take the time to read my blog posts and enjoy it as well, it really means a lot so thank you so much ^_^ (Originally written Aug 10th, Finished Aug 11th at 5:22pm)