Pep Talks With Coffee And Me……Plus Learning To Spend A Little Time With Yourself…….

Have you ever given yourself a pep talk before you did anything first!? If so let me know how that goes for you and if it makes you feel any better, does it give you more of a confidence boost just share your thoughts, I would really like to know. The reason why i’m asking is because today I had to give myself a pep talk for the very first time in a long time, now a lot of you who read my blog posts probably know that I don’t leave my house much due to the way I am, but lately i’ve been slowly progressing and getting out more, mainly with just going and sitting in my backyard. I’ve actually been sitting in my backyard a lot more recently, I use to go like once or twice, but lately i’ve been going in my backyard a lot more than I normally would, i’m finding myself to really come to enjoy sitting in the back and just kinda taking everything in and sitting with my thoughts.

Anyway back to pep talking, so like I just expressed normally I just sit in my backyard but today was different, why was it different you may or may not ask and wonder!? Well today was different because for the first time in a very long time, I decided to take myself out for coffee, because I really wanted it, now i’m sure all of you are thinking “Why would you take yourself out for coffee, don’t you have a coffee maker at home!? (maybe you’re not thinking this I don’t know) but to answer your question if you have thought it…….yes I do have a coffee maker at home, but I was really feeling for french vanilla coffee today and we don’t have french vanilla, plus I kinda wanted to walk at the same time so I thought “You know what!? i’m gonna go walk down to Dunkin’ Donuts and get me a french vanilla coffee” if some of you are wonder why french vanilla, well that’s because french vanilla is my all time favorite coffee, I love it!! I have other favorites, but yeah I won’t bore you with that lol……..anyway……..So yeah I got dressed and took my dog for a walk first before I went to get coffee (btw I got my coffee a little late it was like 11am when I went so yeah, i’m sure it doesn’t make a difference though)

After I walked my dog, I gave her some water and some food and this is where the adventure starts for me……..okay so before I left the house again, I had to make sure I had everything that I needed, I always do that before I go anywhere or leave somewhere just to make sure you know!?…………So once I checked my bag to see if I had everything, I then headed on down to my destination and it was alright not too bad, every step I took, I gave myself a little boost of confidence saying “See this ain’t so bad” and also “you’re doing great” a little way of walking I then thought to myself, do I have my headphones!? cause I kinda wanted to listen to some music and so I stopped to check my bag to see and what a surprise………I didn’t have them…….thought to myself “YEP forgot my headphones”

Now what i’m about to say is a thing that actually came out of my mouth, I then said this “looks like it’s just me and thoughts then….great” not kidding that’s actually what I said and you can’t see me right now, but i’m laughing to myself because I just remembered I said that…….moving on………so i’m walking to get my coffee, observing everything, taking in the scenery. Half way of walking I start to contemplate in my mind, don’t worry I was just contemplating what it was I wanted to order, I knew I wanted coffee, but as you know, there’s a lot of coffee to chose from, but I was just thinking if I wanted a hot coffee or a cold one, reason being was because it was sorta hot out today and I wasn’t sure if I wanted a hot beverage on a hot day, I mean who wants that right!? (if you’re the type of person who does get hot beverages on a hot day, then power to you no judgement here)

So long story short I get to my destination I even said it as if I was a GPS when I walked close to it……..i’m not kidding (I know i’m a nerd, but I embrace it) anyway so I get to Dunkin’ Donuts and when I was walking in I saw this girl with a dog outside, I said hi when I walked in, the dog was cute it was a pug just in case you were wondering, so I go inside and there were a few people in front of me and while they were ordering, I of course start scanning the menu and then I realized while in line…….I forgot my glasses………i’m not really the best at seeing from afar…….soooo I had to just squint my eyes to see what I wanted, now my eye sight isn’t that bad or anything, I just can’t see that well from afar mainly with words……anyway I ordered my stuff and then went back home, after a little while of eating my stuff, I went to the backyard again and sat there for a good while and was just you know taking stuff in and everything.

Now what I realized today was, it’s been a good while since I hung out with myself, I mean normally i’m with myself in room all the time and you would think that it wouldn’t be weird because i’m always to myself, but when you take yourself out be it going to get coffee or just even going for a small walk by yourself, it’s a different feeling compared to just being with yourself in your home you know!? Going to get coffee by myself…….I mean it wasn’t weird, but it also was at the same time, I don’t know if that makes sense, but yeah it was a bit odd, because I don’t normally take myself out. Now this may sound like i’m going off topic but hear me out, some of you know that I loved where I use to live, it was one of my favorite places ever and there was a time where I did go on walks by myself, whether it was to meet up with my friend or getting something from the store and it was like I enjoyed it there more then I did going to get coffee today.

Now i’m not saying that it was terrible going for a walk and treating myself to some coffee outside my home, i’m just saying it was a bit weird for me because i’m not use to taking myself out and just treating myself to things, sometimes that even happens when i’m with people and they tell me to get something that’s on the expensive side of town because they know I don’t treat myself but 1. I’m not really into getting myself super expensive things especially if I know i’m not really gonna use it or if i’m just not feeling it, in order for me to get something that’s a bit more expensive compared to what I’d normally spend money on, I would have to really like it or really want it and 2. The things i’d normally get for myself don’t really cost that much and that’s because again i’m not into super expensive things, I prefer to just get stuff that i’m gonna use and that I know will bring me more joy for example: journals, band/graphic tees, books, I love Funko pops as well certain ones, stuff like that, you know things that I feel would mean more to me.

Now there are a few things that i’ve bought myself before that was on the expensive side of town and some I use and others I don’t use that much which is why I don’t buy things nowadays, but my point is I don’t really treat myself to stuff that often only when I really want it or if i’m interested it in and it’s not just things i’m talking about here, I don’t treat myself to much in general. It’s pretty rare for me to just take myself out, enjoy the day and spend time with myself outside of home, in all honestly I actually prefer to be home instead of going out, if I go out I like to be with someone I just feel it’s more fun that way, but i’m also realizing that it’s okay to treat yourself once in a while and just be with yourself even if you’re just going for a walk. Sometimes you need that alone time to gather your thoughts, really get to know yourself as a person more and just see how you feel sitting or spending time with yourself, sure if you’re not use to getting yourself out and treating yourself to not just things, but also a good time, it’s gonna feel weird and you’ll most likely feel very uncomfortable in your own skin, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least give it a try, do go for that walk alone and do sit with yourself.

Pushing yourself to kinda get out a bit more or treating yourself to things, can help you really get to know yourself on a deeper level to what you’re use to. You might find a lot of new things out about yourself that not even you knew and you may think “we’ll i’m with myself 24/7 what wouldn’t I know everything about myself!?” There might be a lot of things that you don’t realize about yourself actually…….I found out today after a very long time, that when I push myself and help myself do things that i’m not use to, I actually feel a little better, I won’t lie to you……I was actually super nervous leaving the house, I mean I walked my dog first and that’s not something to be nervous about of course, but it was knowing once I finished walking my dog, I would be walking alone to get coffee and it may sound dumb and not that big of a deal, but when you’re use to something and then you find yourself pushing past the things you’re use to……it can be kinda scary and it’ll make you anxious, but once you set your mind to it, you don’t try and second guess yourself and you just kinda go for it, you realize it’s not so bad.

It’ll be weird yeah, but if you just kinda give yourself that pep talk to boost your confidence a bit so you don’t try and psych yourself out, then you’ll find yourself just going with it pretty much. So if you think about maybe going on that walk alone, maybe treating yourself to some lunch or something, give it a try, see if it’s something that you might enjoy and if you do, see if you want to do it again. Don’t let your mind keep you from wanting to do certain things and don’t be afraid to spend a little time with yourself. You don’t even have to do anything big, just sitting alone in the backyard with you and your thoughts will do, once you find yourself doing that and you start to feel comfortable enough in your own skin and mind, try going for a good walk by yourself and just keep working towards certain things until you feel really confident within yourself to want to do a bit more and all that.

Work at your own pace and don’t worry about everyone else, just do things when you feel you’re ready for them. You’ll know you’re ready when something inside you kinda gives you that push and you find yourself just kinda doing things that you normally wouldn’t do, everything will just come to you and you won’t know why, but you’ll find yourself just going with it and when that happens, you’ll see that you’ve reached a certain level on your confidence bar which is good and it’s also something to be proud of yourself for, because it means you’re growing and coming into your own little by little.

Annnnd that is all from me for today, I don’t really have much to say, buuut I hope you were able to take something from this and that it helped some of you in some way, anyway I hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening 🙂

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

A Few Topics In One Blog Post That Are Important To Take In and Keep In Mind….

You ever find yourself stuck in the middle of something to where no matter how hard you might want to ignore it or try to ignore it, it’s quite impossible!? Yeahhh I know that feeling all to well too, you think to yourself is there anyway to ignore it!? and the truth is……not really you have to sometimes face it and deal with it in the best way that you can, even when you don’t really want to. So what do you do when all you want is to focus on yourself, but there’s always something there to kinda take you off balance!? Just go with it, but also remember not to let yourself be consumed by the chaos of it all, if you find yourself getting too overwhelmed with a situation happening know that it’s okay to remove yourself from that said situations if you really need to.

If you still feel like you’re stuck in the middle of it and something in you is telling you to let it be, you can either politely remove yourself from it or speak about how you feel on the situation, either one of those will not only keep you from feeling uncomfortable, but you would have also let your feelings known and may have even defuse the situation a bit while you’re at it. We all know that with certain situations there are things we can add our input to, but there will also be situations where sometimes it’s better not to say anything, we all know that saying that goes “somethings are better left unsaid” which is true, i’m learning that not everything needs a responds, but i’m also learning that you shouldn’t stay quiet for everything either, if you know that something is messing with you or there’s a situation to where you can’t just ignore it then definitely speak up on it.

I always feel that if you’re going to speak up about what you feel you need to speak up on, you should always handle it maturely……..sometimes though even when you do handle it maturely the other person or whoever you’re talking to, may not handle the situation in the same way and that’s something that can really get to you and can make you have a very sour taste in not only your mouth, but in your mind as well and when that happens……weeeell, let’s just say it’s not good……..especially when there are two people with similar mindsets and personalities in a way. It can be very tough getting to someone who’s mindset is a mindset that you know deep down is hard to change, not saying you should ever change anyone and what they think because it’s not gonna happen especially when they have always used that way to help them in life.

What I am say though is when dealing with people who are hard to reach and you see that the conversation isn’t really getting anywhere, it’s best to just stop talking and move on from the situation because 1. It’ll keep you from getting annoyed fully while having a headache at the same time and 2. There’s no point in talking to someone who you know isn’t going to listen when it comes to what you’re wanting to say, however if you get the opportunity where the moment has presented itself to express your thoughts and emotions on something that still isn’t quite fixed, then give it another try and if it’s still the same then just leave it because you’re not gonna get anywhere, all you’re gonna do is  continue to tire yourself out or get very fired up trying to get to someone who isn’t really gonna hear you anyway.

People who like to throw you into the mix of things without any warning because they need a second opinion on something or they like to target you on things, those are the kind of people you need to keep your eyes peeled for and kinda step away from a bit and just stay to yourself, but if you know that it’s impossible to keep away from people like that, just continue to stay to yourself, aquatint them, but make sure that you keep the things that are closest to you near you at all times, there’s a saying that goes “not everyone needs to know everything about you” they may know some things, but only share what is close to you with those who are sincerely important to you and who only bring joy, happiness and positivity into your life, because those are the ones who are gonna continue to be there for you when it matters most.

There’s nothing wrong with setting a few boundaries with people, especially if you know that they aren’t going to bring what it is that you need into your life, don’t let those kind of people who only tend to bring more negativity into your atmosphere tell you that you shouldn’t place boundaries with them. If you feel within yourself that the people you’re normally around or that you encounter aren’t the best people to keep in your circle and that they aren’t helping you in a positive way, know that it’s okay if you find yourself distancing away from them. It doesn’t mean you don’t care or love them in anyway, it just means that they aren’t the best people to have around when you are trying to move forward in your life, they may see and take what your doing as cruel and offensive, but don’t let that discourage you and make you feel a certain way, if it’s not good for you then it’s okay to let it go or at least distance yourself from it.

You may feel a little bad about it and think to yourself did I do the right thing!? but I want you to know that sure you may question yourself and think that what you did was horrible, but sometimes in order to live the life you want and in order to grow while going for your goals in life, you have to do that because that’s how you become a little more happier and that’s when you find yourself developing more confidence in yourself. Think of it as your some kind of animal so for example: A hermit crab or a snake just any animal that either outgrows it shell or sheds it’s skin, think of yourself as that animal and know that eventually there’s gonna be times where we outgrow certain things and sometimes people are one of them, think about it.

We’ve all have or had friends that we’ve hung out with since we were either kids or that we’ve met a little later in life, but we also know that we’ve had friends that we kinda drifted away from and haven’t spoken to in years not because we wanted to, but because either they weren’t healthy for us or because we outgrew them with the changes due to our personalities, mindset, different perspective on things, stuff like that and that isn’t a bad thing or anything it just happens, it doesn’t mean you planned on not speaking or hanging out again, it’s just something that happens to us in our lives, we’re always gonna outgrow something eventually that’s just apart of life. You can try and stay where you are, but you know that deep down, it isn’t gonna make you very happy, so when it comes to outgrowing something just embrace it and go with it, sure it may seem weird and uncomfortable at first, but once you let it sink in a bit, you’ll find that it’s not so bad.

Annnnnd that is all from me today, I hope you were able to take something from this and I hope I was able to be of some help if anyone out there is going through something like this, i’m learning a lot still and i’m just trying to embrace it a bit everyday, you don’t have to embrace it fully all at once, you can just do what i’m doing and let it come to you little by little, anyway I hope you all have a lovely night/morning and or evening 🙂

 

 

All The Love

~Lexa~

Feeling Like You’re Not Making Progress (Inspired Blog Post)

So I was watching one of my favorite Youtuber’s earlier and the video that I watched was titled “When You’re Not Making Progress” the topic was discussed by a British Youtuber named Lucy Moon, she talks about a lot of different things on her channel, surrounded by life, she has podcast and this really cool monthly series called The Sunday Social (I don’t always watch them on Sundays I pick and choose when I want to watch it haha……ehm…..anyway) her channel is pretty much on the lifestyle sort of town at least I would say, she runs her channel a specific way that I enjoy, but anyway back to the topic of this blog post…….So I was watching her video and she was talking about how when it comes to making progress in our life be it within ourselves, relationships, the things we do and just life in general, no matter how hard we work sometimes for some people we don’t always end up where we think we should be.

She also talked about how it can be very frustrating to know that you’re putting in the hard work with everything that you’re doing and you still end up not really moving in the direction that you want to move in and having that feeling of “well i’m doing everything here and yet I still feel like i’m getting nowhere” that kind of feeling can really put a damper on you and make you unmotivated to want to do anything. She also talked about what she learned saying, even when it gets to that point, you should still keep pushing and work hard because even though you may not be at that point in your life that you want to be, you should still keep going because eventually all that hard work will pay off in the end, so that’s what I want to talk about.

I want to put my thoughts in to what she was saying in her video because when I watched it, everything she was saying, I too had those feelings before and i’m still going through those feeling in a way sometimes, but i’m also learning that if you want to get somewhere, hard work, determination and consistency (is the key word for me) is what you have to keep your focus on if you want to move forward, as well as small steps too. She then compared her life and work schedule with all of her friends, saying how they’re doing so much more than what she’s doing and said how everyone knows that comparing yourself to others isn’t the best thing to do, we all do it and it’s just one of those habits that we find hard to get rid of, because most times we’re surrounded by people who have already achieved so much and here we are just kinda on the same boat, floating by wishing we were in their shoes and that kind of thing can lead to discouragement for some people.

We start to think to ourselves “oh well, since i’m not where everyone else is in my life, is it even worth continuing doing what i’m doing!?” and the answer to that is yes, do continue, because yeah sure it’s hard and it’s super super frustrating to put so much hard work, heart and soul into something and yet still feel like no matter how much hard work you put in to everything, it’s like you still don’t move and you know you’re working really hard, but sometimes things just don’t happen to us as quickly as others or as we would like it too, but even when that happens that still shouldn’t discourage you from continuing building what it is you have already built for yourself.

We get so caught up in other people lives that, we start to have this mindset because someone else did it, we did it……..but they’re moving forward and we’re in the same position and with still being where we are, we tend to kick ourselves down and wonder why we can’t have that kind of life and the thing is, we can…….we’re just too afraid to and so instead of working toward giving ourselves the kind of life we want to have, we just kinda start to envy other people for having the exact life we dream of having and that’s not good, because we shouldn’t ever compare our lives to someone else’s. Everyone has a story to them that we don’t know and everyone has a battle they go through that we don’t see or even acknowledge. My point though is I went off topic…….I meant to talk about making progress no matter how slow you go, but it just ended up turning into when you’re not making progress so we’re just gonna roll with it okay, yeah, cool….awesome!!

So let’s talk feeling like you’re not making progress especially when everyone around you is in a world where everything they do gets them to a place so much faster compared to where it gets us……..we all know that progress is all about doing things in the pace you’re able to handle, hence why it’s called progress, it’s all about how much and how well you’re doing that will determine how everything else is gonna go in your life, so if you do things slowly it might go a little bit slow, but if you’re the kind of person to get things done when they need to be done then, you’re not really gonna have a problem with getting to the places that you want to get to. Some of us are turtles (me) and others are bunnies (my boyfriend) just giving you some examples on what i’m talking about.

Anyway you shouldn’t think of progress as a race is what i’m getting at, everyone has their own pace that they go at, some are slower while others are a bit faster and that’s okay, you don’t need to try and out run everyone, you just do things your way and at your own pace. Progress is all about building, it takes time to progress in something, first comes an idea of some sort, then there’s a goal you’re trying to reach and then from there you keep working toward building to get to that goal and the more you keep on going the quicker you get there, it may not be right away, but you’ll always come close to reaching it.

Progress like I said takes time, sure we may all want things to happen to us right away, but if we’re being real we know that it’s not, it doesn’t mean we won’t ever get there it just means that we’ll have to go through the dirt a bit to get there. I’m not saying you have to throw yourself through the dirt fully (okay maybe sometimes) but you’ll have to get a little messy and you’ll find that getting a little messy is sometimes worth it………..unless you just bought yourself some new clothes and you’re having the best day ever and then out of nowhere something happens to where you get your clothes dirty and your now standing there shocked, angry and ready to scream your heart out because you just got your new clothes dirty…….but besides that getting messy is worth it sometimes.

It’s okay if you start things off a bit late or slower than others when trying to make progress in reaching your goals, keep in mind that in order for others to have reached their goals it too took them some time, but they still got there and you will too. Don’t sweat on how long it’s taking you to reach your goal, it may not happen for you right then and there, but know that you’ll get there soon enough, just keep on going and keep on working hard and know that eventually your time will come, the more progress you make from constantly going, the closer and sooner you’ll get to where you want to be. Keep your head up, mind focused and keep on filling that progress bar of yours, you’ll be happy that you did and remember don’t worry about what everyone else is doing because it only matters what you’re doing and how proud you’ll make yourself in the end.

That is all from me for now, I hope this helps some of you and you’re able to take something from this, if you’re interested in wanting to watch the video I was talking about you can watch it here: When You’re Not Making Progress (Lucy Moon) It’s a really good video and me watching it helped me feel better about myself and it helped me just kinda accept that it doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you just keep going and i’m doing my best to remind myself everyday of that. Maybe you’ll also learn something from this video like I did and who knows you might actually find yourself someone new to watch, I would recommend watching her other videos too because I think she’s great, I love watching her videos because 1. Their cozy, 2. You can sometimes learn from her videos and 3. She’s just great, I know I said that already, but it’s true……but yeah I hope that you enjoy the video. If you don’t that’s fine, it doesn’t have to be for everyone, but I just wanted to share this with you guys just in case you want to check it out, if you do like Lucy Moon and content videos show her some love and support, i’m sure she’ll appreciate it, but anyway I hope you’re all having a lovely day and if not well I hope you find something to make your day better 🙂 (Originally Written Aug 13th) 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Who Am I!? Well I Ain’t Perfect I’ll Tell You That One……..(Inspired Blog Post By The Art Of Blogging)

Who am I!?………that is the question that I tend to ask myself most days along with being asked that in a blog post I read today. We all go through that stage where we think we have everything figured out whether that has to do within ourselves or just in general, but the truth is there are somethings we don’t have figured out and knowing that can be a bit scary and it’ll sometimes make you go down a road of whether you think what you’re doing is even worth it or make you go into a really deep hole of thoughts and what not, but i’m starting to learn that you don’t really have to know everything, we always pretend that we do, but in reality we know that…..we don’t and that’s not to say it’s a bad thing it’s just how it is, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn along the way, but I wanted to answer certain questions from the blog I read today because it really had me thinking, so with the questions i’m gonna be honest even if I don’t have the answer i’ll still try.

One of the questions that was asked was who are you really!? This is gonna be something, but I did say i’d be honest and i’m sticking to that…..okay let’s answer.

Who am I really!? that’s actually a tough question when you’re really thinking about it……..I’m not quite sure actually sometimes I think I know, but then I still find myself trying to figure it out at the same time. Somethings about me though: I am a very random person, I’m very talkative when I want to be, but also if i’m really excited about something, when i’m into something and when i’m really happy…..uhhh I am a person who loves to write, i’m a collector of certain things like journals, pebbles/stones, CD’s (if I like them) and fun collectables. I’m a wanderer at heart, daydreamer (hence the blog name ha) you know this gets harder when you really have to think about it………i’m a girl that deals with anxiety as some of you may know, sometimes I feel a little misunderstood, but I deal with it, because it’s hard to have to explain what it is your feeling all the time without you constantly being questioned. I can be easily distracted at times, i’m stubborn at times as well, but one of the main things about me is I lack self confidence when it comes to the things I do, I try my best to really believe in myself and get myself moving, but I don’t really do that great of a job at it………people say that i’m stronger than I think, but I don’t know if that’s true because lately I find myself really needing people……..you see this girl tries to help everyone else, but honestly this person……me…….she can’t even help herself…….and the reason for that is she doesn’t know how to help herself move on to the things she feels and knows she deserve at least that’s what her mind keeps telling her……..I don’t know how to just stop making excuses on why it’s hard for me to just do what I say i’m gonna do……….I try so hard to stay as positive as I can, but yet inside i’m really struggling and i’m afraid of what I don’t know. I’m the type of person who constantly isolates herself from certain people, i’m the kind of person who feels she needs someone there in order to move forward and that is really sad……..I shouldn’t have to depend on people to help me, I should be able to do it myself at least a little bit and yet I tell myself I can’t and I keep myself from reaching my full potential that I know deep down I have and if I just put my mind to it I know I can do it……..i’m a procrastinator, i’m an optimist who really should be a realist at times and know that I can’t keep thinking that everything’s gonna work out just like that, I have to keep in mind that you have to work hard for stuff and really push yourself if you want to get where you want to be. I’m sure there’s more to me than I know, but if continue to list we’ll be here forever, let’s just say I have my good traits and I have my bad traits as well.

The next question that was asked was: What is it that you want more than anything else!? that’s a good question isn’t it!?

What is it that I want more than anything else? You know this may sound cliche and what not but all I want more than anything else is to be happy and live a simple life, I know that sounds crazy right!? no but seriously, I just want to be be happy doing what it is I want to do while also living a simple life with the one I love, sure that might sound cliche and boring, but that’s want I want more than anything else. I would also like to be able to make some kind of difference and inspire people as well in the best way that I can and I also want to improve myself more and really work on the things I know I need to work on.

The third question we have here is, What do you hate the most about yourself!? Now this wasn’t the actual third question, but i’m only writing about the ones that I feel i’d be able to answer properly so yeah.

What do you hate most about yourself!? This is gonna get real deep i’m sure……one of the things I hate about myself would have to be the way I let my mind take over causing my emotions to go into hyperdrive, now me doing that also causes my mind to take control over everything and it causes me to get very anxious and I start to freak out over the smallest things, sometimes they’re important, other times they’re not. Whenever my anxiety hits, it really hits, they say you have the power to control your emotions and the way you think which sure that maybe true, but it’s not always that easy, another thing that I hate about myself is how I don’t let myself reach my full potential as I stated earlier, I can give myself the push for a bit and then I stop myself from ever achieving what I possibly could have achieved if I just kept going and didn’t give up so quickly. My lack of self confidence is another thing I hate about myself, I know I already spoke on this, but that is another thing I don’t like and the thing is I know I have it in me, I just don’t give myself permission to really embrace it like I should…….I hate how sometimes I don’t stand up for myself when I know I should and I hate that I have the power to change the things that i’m talking about here and yet the only thing i’m good for is putting myself down and giving myself the pity treatment and that’s not right, I shouldn’t do that, I should be lifting myself up and trying to be a better version of myself everyday……..I know I have my best moments sometimes, but I should be doing my best to make sure I give myself all the best moments I can, even when i’m not 100 percent, I should still try and give things my all.

There’s a few things I learned about myself and that i’m still learning, for one I have to learn to be a little more brave and less afraid, I have to learn that hard work isn’t something I should continue to be afraid of, if anything I should be happy to want to better myself instead of keeping myself in the same hole, that i’ve been in for a good amount of time, I need to stop being this timid person who feels like she isn’t capable of making progress in her life and getting herself to a place of success and happiness, i’ve gotta really change the way I live and let myself strive for the things I know I deserve and let myself feel what it’s like to be confident because I know I am, I just gotta keep reminding myself that i’m confident, strong and capable of great things and if I just give myself that push i’ll see that and i’ll know that the person I once was before she’s still in there and no matter what she thinks of herself, she’s still a great person inside and out.

The last question I wanted to answer was the question: If you had just enough time on this planet for one last blog post, what would you write about? 

If I had just enough time on this planet to write one last blog post, I would write about having more confidence in yourself and not letting life past you by, i’m really starting to learn that life is really short and it takes something small to happen to really get you to see the bigger picture of what’s important……….what’s not important is being afraid to succeed and just seeing how far you’re able to go in this life you have, you shouldn’t give up on yourself, you should always do your best no matter if it’s perfect or if it’s just decent, as long as you did your best, that’s all that really matters. We can only do, but so much and it’s up to us to really figure out what it is we want to do. It doesn’t have to be complicated, it can be really simple just make sure once you have an idea of what you want you go after it and do the best that you can to get where it is you want to go, don’t be like me and think that waiting around for it is gonna work because it’s not, you have to really put yourself out there and take that chance whatever that might be, it may be uncomfortable at first, but once you keep easing your way in, it’ll start to get easier. You just gotta give yourself that push and keep going otherwise you might regret it if you don’t. Don’t regret it, Embrace it.

For those wondering what blog post i’ve been talking about this whole time, the blog post that inspired me to want to answer these questions came from a blog called Anyone can blog, you can find it here: ANYONE Can Blog this blog post was so good that I had to reblog it, it really gets you thinking about everything, it was posted by a blogger name Christian Mihai he has this blog called The Art Of Blogging, one of my favorite blogs so far, I think there’s other people who are apart of that blog as well, but yeah go and show them some support and read the blog as well because it really does get you thinking, it’s mainly about blogging but you can learn a lot from their blog, but anyway that is all from me for now I don’t think I have anymore else to say here, I pretty much wrote you all the things you didn’t know about me, uhhh I hope you are able to take something from this and maybe learn a thing or two as well, I hope that you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening 🙂

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

 

P.S. I just wanted to share that today marks a month of me blogging on here so I just want to say a quick thank you to those who support my blog and actually take the time to read my blog posts and enjoy it as well, it really means a lot so thank you so much ^_^ (Originally written Aug 10th, Finished Aug 11th at 5:22pm)

Go With The Flow But Also Know That Having A Plan Is Important Too…..

Going with the flow of things is good, because it lets you explore a lot of different things around you and helps you discover a little bit more about yourself, without really having to feel like you need to already know who you are, you can just discover it along the way, however once you do find out certain things about yourself and everything around you, eventually you’re gonna have to also come up with some sorta plan on what is you want out of life based off the things you’ve discovered, now don’t go freaking out about not having a plan for everything, you don’t really need a plan for everything, just certain things you want to accomplish in your life. You see when you have a plan, you also give yourself a chance to create a new goal in your day to day life and once you achieve that goal, you then feel good and want to see what other goals you can achieve, it’s kinda like having a new years resolution only you know with this one, you’ll actually go through with it, we all know that new years resolutions don’t really do us any good because it’s just something we tell ourselves we’re gonna do and then once the new year arrives we forget it and just continue to go about our day and everyday we get once it’s a new year.

When you have a plan on something it helps you stay productive and helps you build towards the goals your trying to get to, it’s okay if your goals aren’t super big, goals don’t have to be really big, sometimes starting off small works in wonders and once you complete that small goal, you’ll then want to strive for something bigger than that first  goal you made for yourself, for example: Say your goal is to buy a new guitar and piano, but you know that you only have enough to get one or the other, but you really want to buy them in a set, in order to get both you’ll need the right amount to get both the guitar and piano, so what do you do!? do you go and buy the guitar first and come back for the piano when you have enough money or do you just not bother because you can’t get them both at the same time!? I would hope that 1. what I just said made sense and 2. that you just ended up getting either the guitar or piano instead of getting upset that you weren’t able to get them both at the same time.

Sometimes the goals we have aren’t always reachable at first and we have to work hard to get to those goals that we are trying to reach for, so even if you weren’t able to get both the guitar and or piano, at least you were able to get 1 of them so you should be happy that one of your goals was met, say you bought the piano first, now you can add next goal: buy a guitar and work towards getting that wonderful guitar you have your eyes on. In the mean time while you’re working towards getting that new guitar, you can practice the piano and once you feel like you have it down alright, soon you’ll realize that all your hard work payed off and now you have another goal to strive for and that’s master the guitar next. You see what i’m talking about!? Once you finish a goal, you’ll keep wanting to add more and then once that goal is completed, you’ll want to add another and another and so on………putting down a goal and then completing it after a while, really helps you achieve things on your day to day life and it’ll make you want to take on other goals you have in mind.

Think of a goal as present……..that your unable to open until you finish that said goal that you put down. We all know you want that present and you’re now wondering, but wait what’s in that said present!? I don’t know………or maybe I do and i’m not gonna tell you because then it’ll ruin the surprise that your goal wants you to have. Now you’re gonna turn your focus on that said goal just so you’re able to find out what’s in store for you once you reach and complete your goal and that was the plan, to makes sure that if you want to know what’s inside of that said present, you gotta first complete a goal you have going, that is when you will receive the surprise waiting for you to open. Having plans and creating goals for that plan shouldn’t be something to be discouraged from if it feels like it’s unreachable, sure you may not be able to get there right away, but you know that if you were to work hard and keep trying to reach all the goals that you created in order to get there, eventually you will.

Now be aware that you’re not always going to be able to reach every goal you have written down on a list, some will work and some won’t, but it’s okay if not all of your goals are met, they’re not mean’t to all be met, some are just there for ideas or just to kinda fill your goal list, so it’s not just one thing on that said list. Goals are there to help you have a visual on the things that you are wanting or needing in order to get closer to where you’re headed, that way you’ll be able to look back at that blueprint you made and set out on your work table figuratively or if you actually have one and analyze how far you got and where you are within the blueprint, so every time you complete a goal, you can always review your blueprint and check how much you’re progressing and how close you are to completing the goal.

If you want to achieve something that you feel is a little intimidating to where it’s making you feel discourage, just write down some goals to help you get where you have your mind and heart set on and once you complete that first goal all the other ones will just flow right through you and you will feel less intimidated and more courages and before you know it, you would have either gotten close to your goal or you would have completed it fully and not have even realized it until you went and checked your blueprint, remember your goal is a present waiting to be opened and if you want to see what surprises it has for you, then you better get going and work towards finishing that first goal of yours.

Anyway that’s all from me, I hope you were able to take something from todays blog post and I also hope it made sense, I don’t really have much to say here so I hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening. 🙂

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Just Reflecting……..

You know I was sitting outside in my backyard today, i’ve been doing that a lot lately I get up, do whatever I do in the morning and then go in the backyard (I take my dog out if it didn’t rain, but if it did or does I keep her inside although I didn’t know the grass was wet today and I took her out because it was sunny and well she had fun rolling around in the grass) anyway back to reflecting, so I went into the backyard today and I just walked around a bit in the grass while my dog was doing her thing and running around in the back and i’ve just been thinking and reflecting on a lot, I sat on the back steps and in the grass and was just taking in everything, listening to the birds and the natural noises of nature it was really nice……..you know we don’t really realize how much just listening to the pretty noises of the earth can help you really reflect on everything.

Lately for me i’ve just been reflecting on my life and where I want to go with it, if i’m being honest I don’t really get out the house much except for if i’m going in the backyard or if I go places with friends or family and I don’t really have a lot of friends, just a small amount that i’m close with and they don’t really live near me so I don’t go anywhere and I know that’s not good and I should go out more, but in all reality I don’t really like going out much for one, because I was never really a big fan for going out, I always preferred to stay in and if I do go out (which I don’t much) I like going with someone, because it’s just a lot more fun that way and you have good company in the process, but i’ve come to really take in everything and I realize that being and staying in one place isn’t healthy for yourself and if you want to experience more you’ll have to put yourself out there first and that’s what i’ve been trying to work on for a long time now.

I started to push myself where I use to live and I really enjoyed it because I liked where I was and the area, it was one of my favorite places and still is, but when we moved I kinda went back and just stood to myself and didn’t go anywhere because I didn’t like the area, not saying it’s bad, i’m just saying that it didn’t feel the same compared to where I use to live, I mean it’s alright, but I wasn’t really thrilled with moving here in the first place, plus I was away from my friends and I didn’t like that very much. I just missed everything about where I use to be. I missed being able to walk to my friends house who was a few blocks away from me, if my friends wanted to come over they could’ve easily and just the area it’s self, I still miss it and that’s not gonna change, but I also know that I can’t keep myself in the same spot all the time, I do need to get out more and just try at least, even if I don’t like where i’m at, I should at least try……building up the courage and confidence for it though is a bit hard, but i’m working on it……..sometimes we all need to reflect on things and just really look at ourselves in order to change things in our lives.

We all have something that we reflect on be it our lives, things around us just everything, sometimes we’ll even reflect on music or a book we read, just because maybe it really spoke to us in someway or because we’re trying to decipher the message it’s trying to tell us. We don’t have to just reflect on one thing, it can be a lot of different things, if it sticks in our minds or we feel it then we’re gonna reflect on it, sitting with yourself and being able to reflect on everything going on, helps you really look at things in a different perspective then what you normally see it as and it’ll help to open your eyes better and see things clearer to where it make sense. Take time to reflect on things if you really need to because it’s always good to sit with yourself and ponder a bit just to kinda gather everything and get a better insight on everything in the process.

That’s all I have to say, I know this isn’t a really long blog post compared to my other ones, but this is just something that I wanted to share because I felt like I needed to, i’ve been constantly really looking at myself lately and just thinking a lot more on everything. I hope that you’re able to take something from this and it gets you thinking as well, I also hope that everything I said here made sense, I started writing this earlier today, but I went away from it a bit and then I came back because…….I don’t know I felt I needed to, but anyway I hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening.

(Originally Written July 30th)

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Finding My Niche (My Confidence Struggle Story)

Confidence is something we all struggle with at some point in our lives, for some confidence comes pretty easy at least it seems like it, for those who have a lot of confidence i’m sure they at one point in their life didn’t have it and had to build up theirs until they had enough to feel good about themselves, sure there are a lot of other people who’s confidence is off the roof and it makes you wonder whether if they are just full of themselves, if that’s just their way of trying to get people’s attention or if it actually took them so long to gain the confidence and because they now have it, they’re happy and are just showing a different side to themselves that they never knew they had. Having so much confidence isn’t always a bad thing it just shows that you’re proud of who you are and who you’ve become if you struggled with confidence for a while, however sometimes for some people having so much confidence can get to you and it can turn you into a completely different person that isn’t good for you and that’s just gonna leave you in the middle of the road in the pouring rain by yourself, with that said though people who struggle with confidence there’s always a reason for it, maybe they had something really big happen in their lives to where confidence was hard to gain or every time they were confident about something they had people around them kinda push them down a notch or they just have trouble really seeing themselves the way others see them, there’s a lot of different reasons.

Some may think that having confidence is bad but it’s not, it’s just all on how you use your confidence, but if you’re the kind of person who struggles with being confident don’t you worry you’re not alone here, I too struggle with confidence, it was always one of those things I never really embraced, It’s weird though because I am happy with myself and I love who I am as a person, sure I have my flaws, but doesn’t everyone!? When it comes to confidence within myself and my personality that i’m good with, so if someone calls me weird and tells me I talk a lot, it doesn’t bother me because i’m happy with who I am personality wise, but when it comes to having confidence in my abilities and the things I do, that’s a different story……….you see I always had this thing where I would start something and i’d make progress with it, but then after a while i’d stop doing it and would never finish it, for example: Youtube, a lot of you won’t know this, but I did Youtube and I still have it, but I don’t upload on it much. I started Youtube a few times my first channel was back in i’d say 2011!? ( I checked it was in 2011) anyway so yeah I did Youtube a few times I have 3, but I only use 2, my first one I haven’t used in years though.

Long story short with me doing Youtube I never use to be super consistent with it, when I did start it I would post not everyday, but more than I did after I had it for a while if that makes sense and i’d enjoy it and have fun with it, but I wouldn’t really put my all into it, I had all these ideas and i’d write them down, but I wouldn’t go forth with most of them because I wasn’t feeling confident enough with it, there were times I had something going and then i’d give up on it after a while because I didn’t feel it anymore, well more like I wasn’t sure how it would be perceived so I stopped it before it could get somewhere……..I guess you can say I was scared in a way, you see yourself doing well and you’re happy, but then that doubt in you comes to play and tries to throw you off course and makes you second guess yourself, telling you that your ideas aren’t gonna work and no ones gonna like it, so everything where i’d put a lot of my heart into and would give a try, i’d step back and just pretty much abandon it, giving up on my ideas and the hard work that I’d put into it……..and I would try so hard not to do that, i’d step away from my channels thinking that I would come back a different person, but it was always the same person coming back, i’d stay for a bit, then disappear for a few months then come back once more and you get it.

So that’s where my confidence lacks, I would give up on myself and my ideas before I even got started and by me doing that to myself where i’d start something and not finish it, that caused me to sorta have an identity breakdown in a way, everything I tried to stick with I never stuck with and it just got the point where I just didn’t care anymore and I just kinda gave up in a way, I use to constantly wonder what I was gonna do with myself and with that it caused me to become unhappy with myself and I didn’t like that. I’d always express the way I felt to my friends and my boyfriend and goodness i’m surprised they’re still around because most people would just get tired of the same thing and you constantly telling them how you just don’t know what to do with yourself, but they always were patient with me and always gave me advice, the main things they’d say was to just stay consistent, focused and have fun with it and even though I would constantly beat myself up on it, they were always so supportive and believed that I would find something, always saw and still see the best in me when I didn’t see it myself, it’s just great to have people like that who even when you kick yourself down or you think that what you’re doing isn’t good, they’ll always tell you that you’re doing great, how proud they are of you, how they will always support you no matter what and that they’d always be there if anything.

When it came to finding my niche though, It wasn’t until I asked my friend Ray about her blog  and I was always curious on what it was like to have a blog, it was always one of my interests, but I never was sure whether to start one or not because I didn’t know if I was going be good at it but I realized when I was going through a self discovery thing and trying to find what was for me, I noticed how much I started writing more and I always questioned why it was I had so many journals and why I was so obsessed with them, but I also never questioned it at the same time, because I was happy. People would always ask why do you need/have so many journals!? and i’d always respond with “well because I like them” but I never actually questioned it unless someone would point it out and then i’d think “yeah why do I have so many Journals!?” but back to my friend Ray, so I asked her about blogging and she told me all that she knew and gave me advice and I told her I was thinking of starting one and she told me I should because in her words when she did it, she remembered how cozy it made her feel being able to write whatever she wanted and it’s thanks to her I now write everyday. She actually got me started on it and yeah I was nervous on starting it because I didn’t want to mess it up and have it be another thing that I give up on, I wanted this time to be different and I wanted to really have something that I could be proud of and say hey I do this everyday and i’m happy about it.

Well now I can finally say i’m happy and I mean happy then I ever was when I was doing Youtube not saying I didn’t like it I did, it helped me show my personality and I got to have fun with it, but what i’m saying is I love writing just a little bit more and it’s now been 2 weeks since I started blogging (2 weeks yesterday) and I keep saying to the people that know I blog and support me on it, that I feel like I finally found my thing and i’m proud of not only the blog, but also myself because i’m pushing myself everyday and really putting my heart and soul into it without feeling like I have to, it’s always because I want to and with writing I said this to my boyfriend yesterday, I always feel like it’s the one thing that I don’t ever have to question or doubt myself in because I love it so much and being able to express myself in a way that I may not be able to out loud, but I can with writing, makes me feel really good and also pretty confident in a way because I know that with this I don’t have to think twice, I can just write.

Confidence isn’t a feeling, I mean it is, but confidence comes from within you and all the different things that you do, so if you see that you’re doing something, you’re enjoying it and you see that you’re progressing in it, keep going and if you have ideas or you are feeling really good about something to where it’s making you happy, then try them out and don’t be discouraged on seeing where it can go and where it can take you, if you go into something with confidence and a positive mindset, you’re already there because you’re confident in your ideas, you’re believing in your abilities and just yourself in general. As for finding your niche (your thing) that will come to you naturally, you just got to let it and if you aren’t sure what your thing is try looking at the things you do the most and where you’re always being drawn to, maybe that’ll give you an idea on what is made for you. I hope you’re able to find your niche in life and when you do stick with it, believe in it and most importantly believe in yourself. If you’re having self doubt about whether something will work or not just replace those thoughts with it will work if I make it work. If you believe in something then go with it and just see what happens when you bring your ideas to life, it may surprise you and in the process you’ll become more confident and proud of yourself knowing you went for it.

Aaaaand that’s my blog post for today (tonight) I didn’t expect to write this much and for it to be this long, but sometimes you just gotta let your heart and soul do the speaking for you, I was having a conversation with my boyfriend on this topic yesterday and I guess it stuck with me and I needed to get my realizations out about myself, I hope you guys are able to take something from this blog post even though I pretty much told a story here………maybe there’s something in here that you can take from it who knows, anyways I hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening.

Originally written On July 26

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~