Off Days

We all deal with them at times, sometimes they’ll happen even when you’re having a good day. I’m sure we all know what off days are, but for those who may be a little confused to what i’m talking about, off days are just days where you just don’t feel the best, compared to how you’re feeling on other days, if that makes sense……….I had an off day yesterday, I mean I was alright, but I also wasn’t feeling the greatest at the same time, I started going into deep thought mode and when that happens it causes me to overthink on things that I shouldn’t be overthinking.

I always try and keep myself from putting all my energy into the thoughts that run in and out of my mind, but for me it’s sometimes hard, because once i’m in a deep thought kind of mode, it’s hard for me to snap out of it right away and I probably said that in another blog post before, but I don’t remember……….I guess you can say anytime I find myself in deep thought, most of the time those are my off days, however sometimes when I am in deep thought, it’s not always an off day, it’s just me thinking very deeply on something, sometimes I don’t even know what I think about half the time, I just think, if that makes sense and I don’t know why.

Yesterday though, I just wasn’t feeling the best, i’m not sure why, but I just know I wasn’t………..you know, I was trying my best though to keep myself away from my thoughts, but it was hard. I didn’t have a bad day though, it was alright, I just knew that I wasn’t there fully, I was out with my mom and one of my little cousins and you know we had a nice time i’d say, but when we were heading back home after we dropped my cousin off, while in the car, I just couldn’t help, but go into deep thought mode and even when we got back home, I still wasn’t feeling the best.

When I got back, I tried to write something and I just couldn’t figure out what to write. I stared at my computer just trying my hardest to come up with something, you know just anything to kinda get me out of being in my mind and I couldn’t, so instead of trying to put my thoughts to the side…….I tried to sit with them and write them out in the best way that I could and you know i’ve said this so often that I know I probably sound like a broken record at times, but it’s hard for me to explain my thoughts, sometimes I even have trouble really explaining it when writing, although I feel like writing my feelings and my thoughts are a lot easier then expressing them out loud.

I wrote in my journal yesterday, because although I tried, I didn’t write here, but even when I didn’t work on a new blog post, I still felt like writing something. Now I didn’t really finish that journal entry that I wrote, but one of the things that I wrote in it that I sometimes find myself doing is……whenever my mind goes into deep thought, again like I said it overthinks a lot of things and makes me kinda in a way doubt myself in a lot of things as well, causing me to feel bad about myself and I know that isn’t right, i’m trying to work on that, but it’s not always easy though. I’m gonna share part of what I wrote in my journal here, because i’m not exactly sure on how to explain it any other way, if that makes sense.

Here’s part of my journal entry:

“I know that I have the power to switch my mind over to something better, but sometimes it’s hard, especially when what you’re feeling comes out of nowhere……I want to be able to have it not be that way……….but it’s when you don’t know what it is that you’re actually feeling to where it can cause you to think the most on it.”Β 

So that’s just a little part I was writing about the first day of it being November, I wasn’t even sure on what I was gonna write about in my thought journal yesterday……..but I ended up writing a little about my day and how I was feeling and when I wrote the part about not knowing how you’re feeling at times, to where it causes you to think more, I actually stopped and was like woah because that’s something that I do. Anytime I find myself in deep thought, but i’m not exactly sure on how i’m feeling, that’s when I think the most, because i’m trying to figure out what exactly i’m feeling and why it is that i’m feeling that way and a lot of the times I don’t know and i’m sure for some of you out there, it’s like that for you as well.

So yeah……..that’s just a little, well more than a little take on my day yesterday. I don’t really know what else to say here, I just felt I had to write that, I didn’t like not writing yesterday, I wanted to, but you know……..sometimes your mind kinda prevents you from doing so, because it has a lot running in and out of it, with trying to figure things out and trying to constantly fight off and away those negative feelings and thoughts that try and take over.

Although we try and avoid off days, eventually we’re gonna run in to them and we can always do our best to keep going and not get so wrapped up in it, but sometimes you just gotta let yourself have those off days, that way you’re able to deal with them right then and there and not have to worry about dealing with them all the time, because let’s face it no one likes having off days all the time.

 

All The Love ❀ ❀

~Lexa~

 

Photo byΒ Serkan TurkΒ onΒ Unsplash

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