Off Days

On November 2, 2018 By Daydreamer LexIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

We all deal with them at times, sometimes they’ll happen even when you’re having a good day. I’m sure we all know what off days are, but for those who may be a little confused to what i’m talking about, off days are just days where you just don’t feel the best, compared to how you’re feeling on other days, if that makes sense……….I had an off day yesterday, I mean I was alright, but I also wasn’t feeling the greatest at the same time, I started going into deep thought mode and when that happens it causes me to overthink on things that I shouldn’t be overthinking.

I always try and keep myself from putting all my energy into the thoughts that run in and out of my mind, but for me it’s sometimes hard, because once i’m in a deep thought kind of mode, it’s hard for me to snap out of it right away and I probably said that in another blog post before, but I don’t remember……….I guess you can say anytime I find myself in deep thought, most of the time those are my off days, however sometimes when I am in deep thought, it’s not always an off day, it’s just me thinking very deeply on something, sometimes I don’t even know what I think about half the time, I just think, if that makes sense and I don’t know why.

Yesterday though, I just wasn’t feeling the best, i’m not sure why, but I just know I wasn’t………..you know, I was trying my best though to keep myself away from my thoughts, but it was hard. I didn’t have a bad day though, it was alright, I just knew that I wasn’t there fully, I was out with my mom and one of my little cousins and you know we had a nice time i’d say, but when we were heading back home after we dropped my cousin off, while in the car, I just couldn’t help, but go into deep thought mode and even when we got back home, I still wasn’t feeling the best.

When I got back, I tried to write something and I just couldn’t figure out what to write. I stared at my computer just trying my hardest to come up with something, you know just anything to kinda get me out of being in my mind and I couldn’t, so instead of trying to put my thoughts to the side…….I tried to sit with them and write them out in the best way that I could and you know i’ve said this so often that I know I probably sound like a broken record at times, but it’s hard for me to explain my thoughts, sometimes I even have trouble really explaining it when writing, although I feel like writing my feelings and my thoughts are a lot easier then expressing them out loud.

I wrote in my journal yesterday, because although I tried, I didn’t write here, but even when I didn’t work on a new blog post, I still felt like writing something. Now I didn’t really finish that journal entry that I wrote, but one of the things that I wrote in it that I sometimes find myself doing is……whenever my mind goes into deep thought, again like I said it overthinks a lot of things and makes me kinda in a way doubt myself in a lot of things as well, causing me to feel bad about myself and I know that isn’t right, i’m trying to work on that, but it’s not always easy though. I’m gonna share part of what I wrote in my journal here, because i’m not exactly sure on how to explain it any other way, if that makes sense.

Here’s part of my journal entry:

“I know that I have the power to switch my mind over to something better, but sometimes it’s hard, especially when what you’re feeling comes out of nowhere……I want to be able to have it not be that way……….but it’s when you don’t know what it is that you’re actually feeling to where it can cause you to think the most on it.”

So that’s just a little part I was writing about the first day of it being November, I wasn’t even sure on what I was gonna write about in my thought journal yesterday……..but I ended up writing a little about my day and how I was feeling and when I wrote the part about not knowing how you’re feeling at times, to where it causes you to think more, I actually stopped and was like woah because that’s something that I do. Anytime I find myself in deep thought, but i’m not exactly sure on how i’m feeling, that’s when I think the most, because i’m trying to figure out what exactly i’m feeling and why it is that i’m feeling that way and a lot of the times I don’t know and i’m sure for some of you out there, it’s like that for you as well.

So yeah……..that’s just a little, well more than a little take on my day yesterday. I don’t really know what else to say here, I just felt I had to write that, I didn’t like not writing yesterday, I wanted to, but you know……..sometimes your mind kinda prevents you from doing so, because it has a lot running in and out of it, with trying to figure things out and trying to constantly fight off and away those negative feelings and thoughts that try and take over.

Although we try and avoid off days, eventually we’re gonna run in to them and we can always do our best to keep going and not get so wrapped up in it, but sometimes you just gotta let yourself have those off days, that way you’re able to deal with them right then and there and not have to worry about dealing with them all the time, because let’s face it no one likes having off days all the time.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Photo by Serkan Turk on Unsplash

Change (Oct 12, 2018)

On October 12, 2018October 12, 2018 By Daydreamer LexIn My Journal Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Journal Entry (Oct 12,2018)

Change is a very big thing, it can also be a very scary thing as well, we all fear a little change sometimes, especially when it’s something new that we’re still getting use to. Some of us embrace change though, while others kinda get a little anxious when it comes to the thought of it, we get so overwhelmed sometimes that we think we should just settle for what we know and for me i’m starting to realize that we shouldn’t do that, we all need a little change, be it in our environment, the way we live and even in the way we think and how we see ourselves. We get so use to being a certain way that because we’ve been that way for so long, we have it in our minds that we don’t need to change.

Sometimes though we do, because in the end we know that it’s gonna make us better people and help us grow as a person, it’s okay to be scared because it means that we care, sure when it comes to change we may not know what exactly it will bring us, but maybe that’s for a reason……maybe we aren’t meant to know, maybe we’re just meant to accept it and embrace it, instead of trying to always fight to stop it from happening. We should all want to change a little, especially when we know deep down we need it, because maybe the old way isn’t working, maybe it’s time for us to kick ourselves in the backside and tell ourselves to shape up and to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and just accept that no matter what we do, something is bound to change and we can either embrace it or let it push us so hard that it makes us breakdown more often then we may like.

We all fear change, but we really shouldn’t, because change is apart of life, it helps us move forward, it helps us see things from a different perspective and it lets us see things we’ve never seen before. Change helps show us what it is we’re capable of, whether we see it in ourselves in the beginning or we have others try and show us, so we can discover it along the way, no matter how we may perceive change, it’s gonna happen and it’s on us to really embrace it and see what that change has in store for us or we can just let it intimidate us and risk missing out on something amazing.

Who knows it might be something we really need, but we wouldn’t know because we’re always running away from it, because we’re scared of what might happen. Instead of us always worrying about the what if’s, why don’t we just try looking more on the side of why not and let’s see what this could be, will we be scared!? yeah we’ll probably be terrified, but that still shouldn’t stop us from seeing what is out there for us, we should always welcome change no matter what it is, eventually no matter what the change is like, it’s always gonna end up having a silver lining somewhere, we just have to learn to always see the best in everything. (End Of Journal Entry)

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Featured Photo By: Sebastian Unrau on Unsplash

Jukebox Typewriter (Oct 8, 2018)

On October 9, 2018 By Daydreamer LexIn My Journal Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

The title of this blog post, is an actual name for one of my Spotify playlists, it’s also become one of my favorites as well, I listen to that playlist more than any of my other playlists that I created and i’ve created a lot of playlists believe me. You may wonder why i’m talking about playlists here and well that’s because that’s the topic of today’s post, i’m not really sure why I wrote a whole journal entry on music playlists, but I did and i’ve just finished it as well, it’s not a long journal entry, but it’s a good amount i’d say and I want to write about it, hope that’s alright.

My reasoning on writing about playlists is because I was trying to figure out what to write and I couldn’t quite come up with anything, but I didn’t want to not write anything because as you may all know, I went a long time not writing on here and i’m trying to do my best to not go that long off writing again, even if what i’m writing about isn’t the greatest and so today the topic that I could think about was music and creating playlists. What kinda gave me the idea for it was, I was listening to a playlist of one of my favorite bands named PVRIS (it’s Paris but they have it where the V has replaced the A) I love that band, their music is something special, the writing style they use and just the songs itself off their albums are super incredible, they’re just AMAZING!!

The playlist I was listening to is called This Is PVRIS, it’s a Spotify created playlist with a few of their songs, if you want to check it out, I will leave it for you guys This Is PVRIS you should really give them a listen, they’re great, but anyway listening to their playlist made me want to write about music playlists in general kinda and so that’s what I did and I want to share my latest journal entry on it with you guys.

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Original Journal Entry Title: Music (Oct 8, 2018)

Music gee where do I start!? Music just has a way of speaking to you doesn’t it!? You can literally find the perfect playlist for any mood you’re in or you can create your very own playlist with all the songs that you feel speak to you and your mood the most, which is my personal favorite. I use to create music playlists a lot, but for some reason never listened to them once they were created, I was just obsessed with creating them, it wasn’t until recently where I started listening to created playlists, including my own.

My favorite part about creating new music playlists, is well creating them, you would think that creating personal music playlists would be super simple, you have a few songs you want to add to a playlist, you add them, type in a quick title for it and that’s it right!? yeah not for me, whenever I create a new playlist, I put a lot of heart in it, that may sound weird to you guys, but creating personal music playlists is like one of my hobbies, I can’t explain it any other way. To me it’s not just about creating a playlist of your favorite songs.

I feel when creating a playlist with songs in it, it’s like telling a little story within those songs you add to your new playlist and with all stories there’s a title to it and i’m learning that titles are preeety much everything, because that’s how people become drawn and want to know more about it. Choosing the right title for something, is very special because your giving it a name, while also being given a chance to be creative and unique, you know bring something different to the table, when you give something a name (in this case a playlist full of songs a name) you give that playlist it’s own identity and when you give it an identity, you also give your emotions a chance to show and be felt, while also giving your playlist a chance to stand out.

Sometimes we’ll create random playlists just because and that’ll be it, i’ve done that a few times, it just a thing we do when listening to music and it’s normal to do, sometimes you just want a quick playlist, but for me most times I like to be a little creative with it and there’s nothing wrong with that.

(End Of Journal Entry)

P.S. There’s a little backstory on the playlist Jukebox Typewriter, but i’ll probably explain that some other time, I don’t want this blog post to be super long, however I just want to say how much I love the title Jukebox Typewriter. Every time I look at it or listen to the songs off the playlist, I just become very excited and very proud of myself for that name, so yeah it’s one of my favorites 😀 I hope you’re all well and that you all have a goodnight.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Featured Photo By: Valentino Funghi on Unsplash

Autumn Leaves (Inspired By An Ed Sheeran Song)

On October 5, 2018 By Daydreamer LexIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Hey everyone I know it’s been a while, I hope you’re all doing well, today’s blog post maybe very short or a little long i’m not sure, i’ll try my best to make sure it isn’t too long, since we’re in the month of October I wanted to talk upon the season of Autumn also known as Fall since we’re now in it, we all know that Autumn is the season of change and just like the seasons change so do us humans, we all grow up to be a certain way, but we all know that we aren’t always gonna be the same as we once were.

No matter how hard we try to, there’s always gonna be some part of us that breaks away from certain things, the same way leaves break and fall off a tree when it’s the ending of Summer and the beginning of Fall, I guess what i’m saying is we’re like a tree kinda, we start off as a seed planted in soil and as we grow we start to gain a little personality, we start to become interested in things and each interest that we take upon, become our leaves, if that makes sense.

Photo by MILKOVÍ on Unsplash

Now the leaves that we start with, aren’t going to be the leaves we always keep with us because as we know leaves don’t stay on a tree for long, eventually they fall off one by one, as those leaves fall off and float down to the ground we can’t really stick them back onto our branches because once they fall off they fall off, with leaves we can have so many, but eventually those leaves will fall off, whether we want them to or not. Sometimes we don’t even realize that some of our leaves have fallen off, it just happens so quickly to where we don’t even have time to react to it.

When we do realize one of our leaves have fallen off though, we take it in, especially if it was something super important to us at the time. Now leaves don’t have to only be about our hobbies or things we’re interested in, sometimes leaves can be friends that we keep or family members even and sometimes we have to realize that those things too can fall off, some mutually, some expectedly, we’ll even have those leaves that just aren’t good for us anymore so we as the tree will shake them off and sometimes they’ll just fall off on their own, because maybe it’s just meant to be that way.

Leaves fall off trees for a reason and they grow new ones every spring for a reason and that’s because they’re meant to fall off, so they can make room for new and improved ones. So when our leaves fall off it’s only because we’re growing and trying to improve ourselves, now with that happening it’s not always gonna be easy, although I just compared us to trees and everything, we’re not trees, we’re humans and us as humans, we’re gonna have a few leaves fall off us and it may hurt when that happens, you may feel bad about it happening, you’ll have times where you won’t even know that it happened, it’ll just dawn on you when you least expect it…….

but when that happens, when you find that a few of your leaves have fallen off, know that it’s okay to reflect on it if you need to, you might not quite understand it, because not everything has a clear understanding, but sometimes it’s not having that clear understanding to where you oddly understand it.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Just because old leaves break off, it doesn’t mean that new leaves won’t grow. Sometimes we sit and wonder why certain things happen, why we fall out with certain people and when those kind of things come into our mind, we really go through them and maybe we shouldn’t do that so much, once in a while yeah sure, maybe you need a clear understanding, but when it comes to other things that we can’t seem to wrap our heads around, maybe that’s because there’s nothing to wrap our heads around.

Sometimes it just happens and we don’t always know why, but we shouldn’t dwell on it, sometimes it’s just best to accept it and move on, it doesn’t mean you can’t feel a certain way about it, but once you accept the fact that, that leaf fell off, just think to yourself that maybe that was for a reason, whatever reason that may be.

It may take time to accept it depending on how much of an impact a situation, a relationship or even just something you once took an interest in was to you, but eventually you’ll come to terms that maybe it was for the best, when that happens don’t you feel bad about it, because you held on to those leaves for as long as you could, but now we have to make room for new and better things for us and we should always want better things for ourselves.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Featured Photo By: Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Monday’s Journal Entry: Just A Walk In The Park (Sept 24,2018)

On September 25, 2018 By Daydreamer LexIn My Journal EntriesLeave a comment

Hey everyone, I hope you’re all enjoying your day, I just wanted to share my latest journal entry that i’ve written in my thought journal yesterday, it’s all about my day yesterday, I hope you don’t mind me sharing it.

Just A Walk In The Park (Monday Sept 24, 2018)

Today I decided to take a little walk in the park, my morning didn’t quite go the best, but I won’t talk about that, let’s just skip to what my walk in the park was like. So I got to the park and sat on one of the benches that was there, I was expecting to write in my thought journal while I was there, but I didn’t really know what to write about so after being there and sitting on the bench for a bit, I decide to get up and wander around, I went and walked to where that river trail is, the one i’m always telling you guys about, I didn’t go down the trail though, I still have to do that, but I did look at the river for a bit, after doing that I then walked along the park trail, I think there were some kids playing by the little playground before I got there because as I was walking down the park trail, I stopped at some really neat chalk art drawings, I even took a photo of them, I thought it was really cute.

They even had a hopscotch game, now I haven’t played hopscotch in forever and so I thought i’d relive a little bit of my childhood and play it again, it was quite nice to go back relive that moment of my childhood. They also drew some chalk bubbles which was nice, there was a dog face as well, a few flowers and some other little drawings too, I took some pictures of them, only of certain ones though. I would’ve taken a picture of all of them individually, but I forgot to put the battery back into my camera, I had it charging the other night and forgot to put it back once it was fully charged, and so I had to use my phone aaaand well, I don’t have a lot of space on my phone so I was only able to take a few pictures, I had to delete some photos off my phone before I took anymore pictures, that’s how much space I have on my phone haha.

I also ran into a baby squirrel, it was the cutest little thing I tell you, never saw a baby squirrel before at least not that I remember, but I saw the baby squirrel on the pathway that I was walking and at first I thought it was hurt, because it wasn’t really moving it was just standing in one spot, but the closer I got to it, I saw that it was fine. I’m not sure why it was in the middle of the pathway, but I stopped in front of it and looked at it, it started moving a little slowly, anytime I tried to get closer to it, it would get a little startled so I left it alone, I ended up seeing it twice, once when I walked past it and when I was coming back into the park. The second time it jumped at me, well not like at me, at me if that makes sense, but a little which startled me a bit and I think me getting startled, may have startled it a bit as well, but the squirrel was okay which was my concern.

It was so cute though, I didn’t take a photo of it which I wish that I had, as you know though I didn’t have my camera well I had my camera, but the battery wasn’t in it and I didn’t have enough space on my phone, plus I wasn’t even thinking about taking a photo I just wanted to make sure it was okay. After coming across the baby squirrel I then walked down towards this waterfall that was nearby and was just admiring it as I walked, I ended up going down the path to where it was, to give it a closer look. I also sat with it for a good while……you know being out in the park, walking with nature and just being with yourself as well is actually quite nice, i’ve found that i’m really enjoying just being with myself lately.

I’ll be honest with you guys, I use to not like going places by myself, because I always thought it was a little weird to just be somewhere with just yourself and I would always think what if I have something I want to talk about, who am I gonna tell!? but I find that sometimes you don’t always need to be with someone, that it’s okay to just take yourself out to enjoy the day even if you’re just heading to the park or going for a walk, yeah sure it may feel completely weird and uncomfortable at first when you try it, but the more you do it, the less weird it’ll become, after that it’ll just become a natural thing. Ever since I first took that walk to the park and continued going after that, i’ve found myself really enjoying my own company, even though I always head to the park to think, but even if I have a lot of stuff on my mind, I still do my best to try and enjoy something. Being there yesterday and looking at the waterfall, taking everything in, while listening to music……..it was very nice and calming, plus I felt happier as well and it’s been a while since i’ve felt that.

So that was my journal entry, well most of it, I did add different stuff to it while writing, but yeah I just wanted to share my day with you guys, I hope you enjoyed it, anyway I hope that you all have a lovely day/night and or evening.