Careers….(Part 1)

You wouldn’t think they’d be hard to decide on, but when you’ve come to a point in your life where you still haven’t decided on where you would like to go on the career topic, you’ll find you start to become much more stressed out about it. I’ve been back and forth trying to decide where I might want to head and i’m still thinking about it, I can never seem to make up my mind when it comes deciding anything really……

You may think you have something in mind, but you realize just how tough it really is trying to figure out just what you might want to get into as a career, it seems simple, but the more you really look into it, your calmness meter starts to decrease and your stress meter starts to increase, followed by your frustration meter and you get the drift of it i’m sure.

It really shouldn’t be all that hard to decide, you pick something you enjoy and go for that right!? Wrong, just so wrong……we enjoy a lot of things and that can make choosing something extremely hard when it comes to a lifetime career, there are things we enjoy most and there are things we enjoy a certain amount.

Trying to choose out of all the things we enjoy, is like being back on a school playground trying to decide who should be “it” in a game of tag or hide and seek. For those who aren’t quite sure what I mean, i’m talking playing eenie, meenie to choose who you want to be “it” before you actually get to the game, it’s pretty much stalling and delaying, I mean let’s face it no one liked being IT in those games and if you did like having to find everyone in hide and seek or you enjoyed chasing after people when playing tag, then I don’t know, maybe you were just a different kind of species, kidding ha!!

Okay, maybe choosing a career isn’t quite like a game of hide and seek or tag, i’m most likely exaggerating that part, but it’s just so stressful!! Going back to the playground days, when your a kid, you have in mind all these things you find cool that you might want to be, it’s kinda where it all starts really, something catches your interest, you become fascinated by it and that’s what you want to be, as a kid you’re fascinated by everything!!

Being asked “what you would like to be when you’re older” makes it feel as though you’re expected to give an answer and that’s where the first pressures tend to arise, although your just a kid, you still have this feeling as though you have to answer that daunting question (hopefully I used daunting in a correct way) so you kinda just go with something that seems interesting in that moment. I mean you’re a kid so you kinda just throw anything out there that is part of an interest of yours, but the older you get,

The more your interests start to change and that can cause a bit of frustration when you thought you had something in mind, but later discover that what you thought you wanted to be was something you weren’t even quite sure about to begin with, you just felt you had to answer.

Once you’ve reached a good age where you should be in a certain position and you see you aren’t there, that’s where the frustration continues to grow because out of all the things you enjoyed, not one of them stood out to where it made you want to continue on with it for a long time and make it into a career and you think to yourself “you waited this long to start thinking about a career” you add to the pressure that you already feel, unsure of a clear direction or career and with that you feel a little defeated.

You know you went so long without deciding what it was you wanted to do and although you know it’s not too late and that you can still figure it out, you still have that frustration inside you, being an adult and not having decided on a career is the most stressful thing to deal with.

And it’s not just the dealing, it’s the emotions that come along with it as well, you want to start something, but not just for the sake of it, you want something to look forward to, something that’s going to have you unable to wait to get started, you want a career that you don’t mind getting stressed about because it means that much to you that you want it to be right…..

P.S. I wrote this post a few days ago, i’m not really sure whether to post this or not, I think I might, but even when I do, i’m still going to feel unsure about it the moment it’s up. When it comes to these kind of writes, I try to avoid sharing them because they tend to come out of a place of stress and frustration, but I guess sometimes it’s okay if they do.

I don’t think i’m finished talking about this topic, so for now i’ve added it as a part 1 post, suggesting there’s going to be another part on it, the second part will come from a different mood stand point, it’s also quite long so i’m going to have to try and shorten it someway, but keep an eye out for it!!

You might see it later today or sometime this upcoming week, not sure on the posting schedule of it quite yet, but you’ll see it, for now I hope you’re all having a good day and you enjoyed your weekend.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Purpose….

They say we all have a purpose, but what if that purpose isn’t anything specific, say that purpose is just more on what we make of something or what we want to do with ourselves. Whenever we’re told “Your here for a purpose” it can make you feel as though your supposed to do something great, something BIG and that kind of thing can feel pretty stressful.

I mean what is this purpose we need to do and are we even doing it right!? These kind of questions can make you feel unsure of a lot of things, with the word purpose, when you look at it and say it, it seems important, it can make you feel as though you have to carry the world on your shoulder and be this unstoppable force to be reckon with, even though those are just sayings and are a metaphor, it still feels like a huge thing to do.

You think to yourself “Why do we see it as this wondrous thing and why do we care and try to live up to it?” When it comes to the word “Purpose” it’s intimidating to have to try and step up to something you have no clue to what it’s about or it’s true concept, the saying “we’re meant to be here”

Is also pretty intimidating, it pretty much goes hand in hand with the word purpose, both have this feeling of importance, like something is expected to where you have to follow some kind of mystery road and or path, yet it’s an unclear clue to what and where it actually is.

That all being said, I know that there are some things that have a specific purpose, some are useful and some useless and when I say useless, I mean it more on the side of not quite what you expected it to be, take some toys for example, some are very educational and quite useful and really fun, but then you have some toys that only do one thing and can end up being a little underwhelming/anticlimactic and not as fun, although you probably know not to get your hopes up with it, you kinda sorta do anyway.

You always kind of feel like it’s going to surprise you and do something extraordinary for some reason and when it doesn’t (as expected) it leaves you feeling pretty bummed out, but you knew it would do that, but it’s that hope that it might do something else, even though you know it’s not going to because it’s meant to be a one thing kind of toy, but you’re left there sighing to yourself, thinking “I guess I knew that’d happen” but on the other hand sometimes you’ll come across a toy, you think is a one purpose thing, but end up learning that sometimes it’ll have other useful uses to it, leaving you both mind blown and full of joy, which you gotta love, who knew right!?

Going back on track though and talking more life base of what we’re supposed to be doing and that, that kind of purpose can throw you for a loop and leave your head going in circles or wandering for days on end, making you think, if there is some kind of purpose and we are meant to be here, why do we have a hard time knowing what it is and what to do?

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

The Talk….

No not that kind of talk if your wondering, it’s more serious, although that kind of talk is serious too….we’re not going to talk about that here though. Hearing the words “we need to talk” or “I need to talk to you” is one of the few words that makes my stomach sink, I mean let’s be real,

No one like those words, it always leads to a conversation you don’t want to hear majority of the time, yet have to face sometimes. It’s just one of those talks you’d rather avoid than talk about, but it’s the only way to talk about things that need talking about, avoiding it only makes the prolong of it worst and more serious and you end up feeling terrible because you knew the conversation needed to be brought up, but refused to approach it,

because of the thought of what that talk might turn into….a lot of the time it might not be all that bad, but it doesn’t mean the thought of it isn’t…..assumptions aren’t the best way to go though, you don’t really know what you’re going to be talking about, until you’re actually talking about it, whether it is “The Talk” or not, you should still talk.

Which talk approach is your worst nightmare!? “We need to talk”, “I need to talk to you” or “can I talk to you!?” share your thoughts below

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

2 Weeks Away, Almost 3….

How’s everyone doing these days, hope well!! Now I know what some of you are probably thinking, “Where have you been!?” and if you aren’t thinking that well then, that’s okay, but I will sorta explain why I haven’t written anything new for the past 2 to almost 3 weeks, I think the longest i’ve went not posting is about a few days maybe a week, this times a new record, we surpassed a week of not posting, can we get an hurrah!?

No i’m kidding, I haven’t posted on here for a reason, you see i’ve been away due to my brain thinking a lot mainly on where i’m going or want to go at least……there’s a lot of things that I haven’t really expressed on here, I might do that one day, not sure when exactly, but one day……

I still haven’t gained that much courage to do so just yet. Now even though I haven’t written and posted anything new on my blog in a good while, I have been still writing, just more handwriting then typing, i’m actually close to filling one of my journals, not quite finished, but it’s getting there i’d say.

So yeah, i’ve been trying to really think on what I want to do (career wise) this isn’t anything new really, it’s something that i’ve been switching back and forth with for a good while now, i’ve just been putting it off for a good amount of time and you know what that’s no one else’s fault but mine, you think you’re fine with something, but then realize you’re not.

So yeah there’s that for one……i’ve also been trying to get better at certain things…..still sorta working on that……i’m kinda feeling a bit of stress and pressure and that’s me doing that to myself because I really want to get somewhere and feel good about it, I mean we all do don’t we!?

There’s a lot let’s just say, but i’m doing my best to work it all out so I could move forward from where i’ve always been stood, if that makes sense!?

I must say this has got to be the most i’ve written in a while on here, which is surprising for some reason, because normally I write a lot, in my journals at least, i’m not sure how often i’ll be posting on here, I kinda purposely stepped away from here just so I can get my head straight and that, plus i’ve been wanting to make this blog better and i’m not sure in what way I want to do that, maybe it’ll be more personal or something, i’m not sure yet.

Hopefully it’ll all just happen naturally, but yeah that’s just a bit of an update I guess you can say, I don’t know what else to say, I hope you’re all doing well and having a good day sorry it’s taken me a few weeks to write, I kinda felt as though I didn’t have much to say so I didn’t, I have missed it though I won’t say I didn’t, i’m always on here believe it or not haha……

That’s all I have for now, but I will post something again soon, maybe not this week or maybe, who know, I might surprise you and post something one of these days or during the weekend, i’ll go based on if I feel I want to say something or how i’m feeling, right now it’s just how things are going,

But you guys enjoy the rest of your day or night depending on what time of day it is where you are and i’ll write to you guys again soon.

P.S. Since we’re coming to the closing days of Summer I thought i’d share something I made a while ago, I was meant to post it, but never did…..

All The Love ❤ < 3

~Lexa~

Don’t Forget To Take A Breath (June 19, 2019)

It’s been a while since i’ve written down my thoughts…..kinda, not my actual thoughts just a simple write down, i’m sure you know what I mean.

*Takes a deep breath and releases* Maaan am I mentally all over the place today, it’s so easy I tell you haha…..all you have to do is let your mind go in a million one places and there you have it, scattered thoughts everywhere!! That’s how you do it, in case you’re wondering how to easily stress yourself out……it’s always like that ain’t it!? So easy to drive yourself mad, yet so difficult to keep yourself sane and calm…….

I made this here creation as I like to call them, a long while ago…….I was meant to use it after I made it, never really quite did though, I guess I felt it wasn’t the right moment or something I don’t know…..funny, I think my reasoning for making this was because I was having a day like today.

As you can probably see in the picture, there’s some words in a spiral, but they aren’t just any words, they’re lyrics to one of my favorite songs by one of my all time favorite bands who I actually wrote a post about the other day. The name of the song is called Take A Breath and it’s by of course…..One Direction…….I mean the Jonas Brothers *nervous laughs*

One Direction had 3 more years left before they went on the X factor, auditioned and would then later be formed into a band…..there goes my brain huh!?

Also you guys probably think I planned that, but trust me, I did not….. I went to say the Jonas Brothers and ended up saying One Direction instead, to myself, out loud, as I was writing it…..not kidding……and if you think it’s a one time thing, no that’s how my brain actually is at times, can’t help it.

Back to what I was talking about though…..this song is off their 2007 self titled album, but on the deluxe version of the album, it’s a really good song, it’s an early 2000’s kind of song of course, a little upbeat, but not too pop sound-ish, it has some edge to it, at least I think it does anyway…..if you’re a Jonas Brothers fan you’ll know what i’m talking about.

It’s one of those tunes that you listen to not only for that nostalgia feeling, but also when you need that reminder to breathe and relax a bit you know!? Try not to worry as much, it helps for a moment, but with the way our brains like to be, it can take a lot of reminding……

For me singing the lines, “Don’t forget to take a breath” plus the rest of the chorus, as well as the whole song……it works for the moment, plus it’s good to sing, I mean we all know there’s nothing like singing our favorite songs to help boost our moods a bit and make us feel a little better.

Here’s the song if you want to give it a listen: Take A Breath remember it’s by the Jonas Brothers NOT One Direction (this is a reminder to myself by the way……I honestly don’t know how I messed that one up, they’re my favorite band…..so is One Direction, but the Jonas Brothers are always first)

P.S. I feel like I might’ve shared this song with you guys before, but I also feel like I didn’t, if I did sorry, hope you don’t mind be sharing it again…..but if I haven’t, I hope you enjoy it or at least find it interesting if you do give it a listen!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

24….

Yesterday was quite a day, i’m no longer 23, but 24 now……if you ask me how it feels I actually wouldn’t know what to say, it doesn’t really feel like anything not extremely anyway……..it feels the same, but also not at the same time, I can’t really explain it……

24……it really doesn’t seem all that scary and it’s not, it’s having it’s fair share of stuff to it, but it’s okay……the aftermath of it has been a little bit everywhere i’ll admit, but i’m hoping that everything that is going on is sorted in a neutral understanding, without there being any more back and fourths or misjudgments on things and I really hope that nothing continues to boil over anymore than it already has……..

I just want everything to be good again and for the water to be cleared that’s all, no more back and fourths, no more misjudgments, just an understanding…..a proper understanding without cutoffs or conclusion jumps and all that jazz, I just want things to be good again, that’s all……

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

No Questions….

I see you, I know you’re asking yourself a million and one questions about what to do, how you should do it, even asking yourself if whether you should do it, no no you, no more questions…….

Sometimes we ask questions because we think each question has an answer, when we know that, that’s not entirely true, some questions are left to be wondered, thought about, that’s what keeps it interesting.

Have you ever noticed that in the word question, there’s another word in it!? Would you like to know what word that is!? I’m sure you do, however I don’t think I really need to tell you what it is, because you already know.

Look closely to the word question, you’ll notice that the word that you find is what the word means when you find it…….sounds confusing I know, but it’s not, it only seems like it because you aren’t looking hard enough at it.

Once you find the word you’ll see it and you’ll know, try not to think too hard on this one, try not to stress yourself out trying to figure it out, the only way you’re going to find it, is by keeping calm and by looking closely until you see something out of the ordinary, i’ll leave the findings to you and I hope you come back with something extraordinary!!

If you need me, i’ll be here, not to answer any questions you already know, but to answer ones that you may need some guidance with, remember it’s okay to wander off and get lost, sometimes you tend to find the most unexpected things that way, but even when it feels like you’re completely lost just know that you aren’t always…..

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~