Hiii…..Happy Late New Yeeear Along With All The Other Holiday’s Prior!!

Alright let’s get this all out of the way without being awkward about it!! I’ve been gone for quiiite a while now as most or some may have noticed, my last post was back in October of last year, but as we all know we’re now in the year of 2021, it’s a bit crazy when you think about it I know!! Now we are in mid January close to moving to a New month, but we’ve still got a couple more days to this month before we transition over to that month so don’t go worrying too much about it!!

You might be wondering why i’ve been away for quite some time and the truth to that is……there was nothing for me to bring here…..I didn’t have much to say…..i’ve been also trying to figure out a lot of things in terms of not just new ideas, but I wanted to bring for myself, now whether that makes sense or not is to tell…..I didn’t feel happy with a lot of things, as much as I tried to share here, nothing ever felt important to share and because of that…..I just felt like I needed to step back from the things that I was doing within that time.

There was a lot of sorting that was needed from me and I felt and knew that, i’d like to say that i’ve sorted it all and i’m all good to go, but the truth is that’s not the case lol, there are still things that i’m working on, but from where I was and where i’m at now i’ve gotten a bit better that i’ve had the most trouble with, that aside I do still feel like I have a bit more to go before i’d say i’m at least 80-95% good!! 100% is a little too high right now for me to rate, but i’m in no rush to get to that percentage if i’m being honest I know i’ll get there eventually!!

In terms to how i’m feeling, obviously you have your days, that’s just part of being human, but for the most part i’d say i’ve been pretty alright, I feel good, but not GOOD with capital letters, it’s a little hard to explain,

I guess it’s kinda like a temperature thermostat, but instead of it telling you where you’re at on a hot/cold scale, it tells you where you’re at on a feeling scale and mine is at pretty alright/good, pretty alright is the middle and good (lower case letters) is just above it!! That’s where i’m at right now overall, which is good for me for now, I still worry about a lot of things that’s never going to change, but i’ve been slowly trying to embrace things more which is still new to me, but i’ve gotten better at it that I can say!!

I like to say that i’m still a work in progress, but slowly, yet surely I feel myself getting there little by little and i’m happy with myself about that, I still feel scared a lot of time with not really knowing where i’m going next, but that’s a fear within me that i’m doing my best to get over, I have been thinking of ideas where I have in mind of heading next, it’s something I have yet to try, but it’s something that has caught my interest and once I sort that all out i’ll speak of it more later down the line of course….

I do have another idea in mind that i’m probably going to try to mix in with my other idea, however this idea is one i’ve already had in my head for a while now…..again still have to sort it out first, obviously i’ll be doing it one by one because that’s the only way i’ll be able to fully give attention to it, but that’s just the half of it kinda….i’ve already written down slight notes to what I have in mind so i’d have an idea of how to do it, but because it’s something new and something that i’ve yet to try, I get nervous about it not knowing how it’s going to be, but if i’ve learned anything lately it’s to just let things happen when they happen and try not to think about it too much….which is something i’m still getting used as you can tell ha……

I’m sure once I get there, everything will just come through right then there, I just have to not think too much on it and let myself explore and figure it out on the way as scary as it may be and all, I just have to keep my focus on one thing at a time and know that everything else will follow along in the time that it’s supposed to. Excited, yet terrified in a good way of course!! I hope you all have been well and that this year has been treating you well, if you too are still on the journey of discovery of ones self,

know that no matter how worried you may be or how scared you may be…….it’s okay to feel that way….just take it one by one and whatever moment you’re in right now, embrace it and let it lead you somewhere you’d never think of going, in someway it’s bound to surprise you with where it takes you and wherever that may be….I wish you all the best on your adventures ^_^ Happy New Year and here’s to unexpected journey’s!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Let’s Talk: Yoga

Good morning everyone, hope all your weeks are starting out alright and that you had a nice weekend!! Okay so some of you might be a little confused about the title, why are we talking about Yoga!? Well I attempted it yesterday and kinda wanted to share on it, from trying it yesterday though i’m feeling some soreness this morning, are you meant to feel sore after doing yoga!? It’s been a while that’s why i’m asking……

Now originally I was going to write about it, but as I was writing the post, it kept getting longer and longer and so I ended up doing a video on it instead and after editing that video well…..it was still quite long, I had a lot to express on it I guess, originally it was 30 mins and that was because it was the untouched version, by editing it though, it came out to 24 mins and 33 secs. Now that’s still pretty long compared to what I would’ve wanted it to come out to, but I think it came out alright and I was pretty happy with it!!

I do try to keep my videos and posts from exceeding a certain amount of talkage time (I don’t think talkage is a word, but just go with it okay) but yeah I try to keep at a certain length when writing and recording, but I can’t seem to help myself when expressing and so that’s why it always ends up being quite longer than I anticipated……

Here’s a quick run down of the video, i’ll share what I had originally wrote down, but it’s probably going to be worded differently:

So after waking up pretty early yesterday, I did a 7 min mediation and than I decided to do a little yoga as well, now I probably should’ve started a little easy to warm myself up and get use to the stretches and all that, but I instead went for a 40 min yoga video focusing on bringing creativity out of you, now I know what you’re saying “40 mins isn’t that bad” very true, yes…..except

That 40 min video took me about 2 HOURS!! Yes 2 hours to get through, luckily it was still morning time and that I got up a little early today as well, i’m finding the earlier you get up the more the morning feels like it’s there for a while as well as the day, if that makes sense!?

So yeah that’s just a little peak on my Yoga attempt after not doing it for a while, there’s also some fun moments in there as well as other things expressed!! Now you know why it’s so long, had I written it instead, you’d be reading for hours, but if you want to take a look at my latest video, you can watch it here: Let’s Talk: Yoga (Patience, Breath Work ect….)

Also if you want to try out the yoga video I did, you can find it here: Awaken The Artist Within|Yoga With Adriene it’s a great workout, but you just gotta have patience with it as well as yourself, just do your best!!

Hope everyone’s doing alright!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Tackling The Important Stuff……

Although things seems to be a little on pause with everything going on, it doesn’t mean that we should take away our focus on what is needing our focus…..there’s a lot of reasons to why everything is happening, mainly because the Earth is needing a little bit of healing, so that’s what it’s doing and that’s why we’re experiencing, what we’re experiencing!!

That being said, I do hope that those who are either effected or being effected heal and get better, we all know that this will all pass in time and that we just have to wait it out and I know for many it’s a little hard, but all we can do is try our best to keep focus and actually try and use this time wisely to work on the things that need to be worked on or tackle the sort of things that need tackling and all that jazz…….

It’s during moments like this where we’re having to really reflect and think about a lot of things…..what kind of things you might ask!? Well that depends really, sometimes only you know, what kind of things have a lot of you been finding yourself reflecting on lately!? If you’re answering or thinking to yourself about it, then it’s those things, now I don’t have a clue what those things are, but it’s that……if you’ve been ignoring certain stuff,

You’ll find that with this moment where we’re being forced…..okay let’s not use the word force, instead let’s use the word…..ADVISED!! We’re being advised to stay in until everything clears up……now you’ll notice that a lot of the things that we may have been ignoring let’s say, have found it’s way back on our attention radar, you may wonder why and it’s because we haven’t quite dealt with it, obviously, be it on purpose, not having the time,

or just not really knowing how to respond to it and so on…….with everything now going on though, those things are making themselves known and we’re being again, advised to try and deal with them….how, we may still ask or wonder!? By acknowledging it, instead of trying to avoid it!!

By avoiding it, we’re only delaying the issue or the things that clearly need working on, the more we avoid it, the worst it gets, you never want things to get too bad to the point where everything starts falling apart, so if we can we should really take a look and start acknowledging the things that need acknowledging because it’s so easy to put things off, the real challenge is realizing something needs working on and trying our best to look at those things, see what needs our attention and working on fixing it if we can.

I feel like I have more to say with this topic, but I think I might end up doing a video on it and talking a little bit more about it, this is just the main stuff!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Meditation…..

Happy Friday Everyone!! Hope you all are doing well and have had a good week and day, my day was okay, not too bad, since we’re at the end of the week I thought let’s talk upon the topic of meditation.

Disclaimer: This was the post I was talking about guys, here’s the heads up!!

Back to the post, meditation what is it!? Well if you ask me, I would have to look up the actually definition of it to have a better understanding of, but for the most part it’s pretty much just a way of relaxing, clearing the mind, body all that jazz!! It’s a good way to destress, so they say and by they I mean people who actually meditate, now I said in my last post that i’d tell you about the times I tried meditation, which I will, right now so you guys don’t have to wait too long, the first time I tried mediating……

I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right and I found it a little weird while I was doing it, a lot of things are pretty weird to me these days to be honest, the first time I tried it, I watched a 5 minute meditation video and it was one of those guided meditation videos, you know where they talk you through it telling you to breathe in and out and to focus on your breathing and so on.

Again it was only 5 mins, but for a 5 min video it did take a bit of time to get through, the reason I feel I didn’t do it right is because, I know with meditation you’re supposed to relax, but I am terrible at relaxing which i’m sure you all know by now, I was trying to follow along and really listen to the voice and what they were saying, meditation isn’t hard, but it also is…..

When meditating you have to learn to clear your mind and relax both the mind and body so that way it works, but with me, well I don’t meditate often for one, this was kinda my first time really trying it out, i’ve never really done a guided meditation before that’s why it felt so weird also when it comes to clearing of the mind…….i’m not the greatest with it at all,

I’ll still have thoughts just swarming around my head, so trying the guided meditation where they talk you through it, yeah it didn’t really help all that much, I wasn’t chilled out or relaxed after listening to it, however listening to mediation music without the talking, has helped to keep me calm…..for the most part anyway, I still have moments where even when i’m listening to some kind of meditation music or atmospherical music that is calming, I still go in and out of intense emotions, stress anxiety things like that.

I just don’t really know how to stop thinking that’s my only problem, I think too much and I don’t allow myself to relax mentally and just in general, but after a while I slowly turn my focus on the music and what i’m doing, be it reading, doodling and sometimes writing, when it comes to writing I mainly do it in silence because it’s the only way I know how to focus on it and when it comes to everything else, I try and zone out for the time being so I don’t go and drive myself mad with all the thinking and everything in between.

Point of story, meditation is good, you just gotta allow yourself to relax and just not worry about everything else for a bit, it’s not easy to do and if your a thinker like I am, it’ll take some time getting use to, but i’d say if you’re having a hard time relaxing, just take your time with it,

Slowly find your way through, for some people it takes longer to relax, but you have to allow yourself to relax, otherwise you won’t, believe me!! If you work better having someone talk to you, try a guided meditation if you relax better when there’s little noise meditation music should help, I recommend the atmospheric kind, but you can just chose what you like, which ever works best for you, however way you’re able to relax go for it.

I’m still getting the hang out what meditation is and finding the best way to relax, i’ve listened to a few good meditation songs already and just calming music in general as background noise, ones without words and are hours long and when I say hours I mean 3-11, well the one I was listening to yesterday is about 11 hours, almost 12 (11 hours, 55 mins and 01 second)

Although that’s very long, it’s a nice one!! Now i’m going to be honest here, you need a lot of patience meditating, if you aren’t the patient kind, I don’t know if quiet meditation will be the thing for you, you might find other things that help you relax and that’s fine, everyone has their way of relaxing, but I still think having calm music in the background for a bit

Can really help to put you in a relaxing mode, even if it’s just playing while you’re doing something else, but again however way you relax is fine!!

I think that’s all I have for you guys on this post, i’m going to be honest, I don’t even know how I wrote all this, my brain right now is pretty much done for the day, it’s so done that my words aren’t matching up properly when I speak, which i’m doing as i’m writing this, the only thing that my brain is able to do is make me sing a song that I heard earlier today and is now stuck in my head, it’s a good song so i’m not too bothered about it!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

P.S. I want to share a doodle, before I post this, but I don’t have one now, well I do, but I kinda want to create a new one, so what I will do is, i’m going to post this and doodle away and then tomorrow I will update this post and share it with you guys once it’s done, either that or i’ll choose a random one I already have, but until then I shall leave this…..

Insert Doodle Here: Update I have now shared the doodle that I wanted, I had to outline it before I posted, still have decided on any colors yet, hopefully something pops up, if you guys have any suggestions go on and share them if you like, i’ll write a post on a few of my doodles so far once i’ve brighten them up with colors, hope you all are having a good day!! ^_^

Uploaded Dec 8, 2019

Meditation Music…..

So recently i’ve been listening to some meditation music, you know the kind that’s meant to help you relax and zone out for a while, for the most part it does calm things down, I mainly listen to it when i’m doodling or reading or when I want to drown any other noise out around me, some are good and even have a few favorites, others I can only listen to them for a short period of time and slightly over, meditation music is pretty,

Although I enjoy the atmospheric ones the most, but regular meditation music is good too, you’d be surprised on how many there actually are!! You go and look up a specific kind based on mood and that and i’m telling you you’ll find and have a whole list and more to choose from, it’s insane!! There’s literally a category for everything, you’ll never run out of options.

I listened to one today, I was thinking a lot and had things in my mind, I did get them out by writing a bit, it wasn’t anything feeling wise, well not particularly that anyway, it was more me thinking of someone, so I wrote something, but I haven’t posted it, it’s kinda just written down thoughts that was in my mind, but I looked up some meditation music to help calm down,

There was a lot of options again, I ended up going back and forth on a few, until I settled for a specific one, the one I chose was supposed to help clear the mind and keep you from overthinking as well as help reduce anxiety, it was working, the only thing I would recommend when listening to it is,

Just listen to it, grab a book, sketchbook, coloring book anything that is keeping you distracted or at least occupied for the time being and put it on in the background and zone out, make sure you don’t go doing something else while it’s playing that might heighten stress levels and that, because then it won’t work, with meditation music you have to be relaxed in order for it to do it’s job correctly, so that’s the only recommendation I have.

Other than that you should be fine, choose one that works best for you or best with your mood, however you want and just enjoy!! That’s all I have for now, this isn’t the post that I was talking about yesterday that i’d post, but it does have to do with meditation, it’s pretty much the same, but i’m talking about meditation music and not meditation itself, that post will be tomorrow, i’ll make sure to talk about it fully from when I tried it.

What’s your favorite kind of meditation music, do you prefer regular kind, nature sounds or the atmospheric “spacey” kind!?

Here’s another doodle I did today, I haven’t added any colors yet as you can see, any suggestions are welcome though!!

P.s. Here’s the song if you want to hear it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLffJhxlXKE&t=2561s

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

November…..

Well it’s November already, October sure came and went didn’t it!? We’re getting closer to Christmas, but before we try and zoom by into the winter of wonderlands, we should really let this month sail nice and smoothly downwards before getting out the Christmas tree and letting deck the halls and let it snow play all over the place……

(not saying I don’t enjoy Christmas tunes, i’m just saying we really should let the months have their time in the spotlight and November is the month where we for some reason always feel the need to skip over, which I get it, November has Thanksgiving which isn’t all that big of a holiday, but still let’s give it the moment it needs, we’ll get to Christmas in time, it’s only another month away, i’m sure we can deal…….who am I kidding, November will always be that month that, people will continuously, yet quietly tell to move along…….)

Moving away from November being the “skip over” month, hope you all are doing well, long time no write I know, it’s been a pretty long while, 3 weeks i’d say……3 weeks today anyway, you might be wondering why I haven’t written in a while, well i’ll tell you, I kinda went and took a break from writing, there was a lot of stuff going on in my personal life,

plus I was feeling pretty stressed out and I just wasn’t doing well and needed to take a bit of time away, I ended up doing it naturally, it wasn’t until I was maybe close to 2 weeks in to where I actually went and wrote a post that I never posted expressing how I was going to take a break because there was just so much happening and going that I couldn’t even focus,

I wasn’t trying to keep from writing, I just didn’t feel the need to write, I didn’t have the mindset to write is what i’m trying to say, my head wasn’t in it and so that’s why I haven’t posted in a while. I was also going through my own thing that I needed to sort through, still trying to sort it all, it’s one of those things that’s going to take a bit of time, but compared to how I was feeling before to how i’m feeling right now……i’m okay, as okay as I can be anyway.

There’s still a lot that I feel needs work personally, a lot of work if i’m being honest…..but overall i’m okay, everything is pretty much in the okay bracket right now to be fair, this year has been quite the year I gotta say, I won’t say too much on it right now, but i’ll do my best to write a summary on it when I get the chance, sometime next month hopefully, I might have to pre write it so that way i’ll be able to have everything laid out even if what I have written down isn’t exactly what I have written down if that makes sense!?

For now, i’ll just share a little update as well as say i’m back from being away for a while, sorry for disappearing like that, I think that was the longest i’ve gone without writing……not good, but I hope you all have been doing well and you guys had a good October month as well as a fun and interesting Halloween, I didn’t really do much for Halloween,

It’s not really my favorite month, although I did watch a few Halloween classics (movies), well kinda, I watched maybe half of certain movies…..I think the only thing I enjoy about Halloween is the movies, the holiday isn’t bad though, I just don’t really celebrate it much, but it’s a pretty alright holiday, as for this month, we’re 2 weeks away from Thanksgiving, well from most it is, I know not everyone celebrates it, but it’s close by, which is pretty insane because soon December will be here, which means we’re coming extremely close to the end of the year that is 2019 and…..yeah…..

I’m just going to try and keep my head in the remaining days and months of this year and worry about everything else when it comes, not saying i’m not already thinking about the future, I am, believe me, but sometimes you gotta set a reminder for yourself that there has to be some kind of balance with it otherwise, you’re just going to end up losing your mind.

That’s the update, I should be good on getting back to posting now, but I just have to figure how much I want to be posting, it’ll come to me!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Rain With A Little Self Care…..(Oct 16, 2019)

I think i’m just going to free write today if that’s okay, what I mean by free write is i’m just going to allow myself to write whatever ends up wanting to be written and not over think it. Let’s start with the day, it was a pretty cloudy and gloomy day today, right now as i’m writing this it’s pretty much pouring outside as we speak, well as I write and you read more like.

Today started out a bit spacey in terms of me feeling spacey, i’m sure you got that though, I wasn’t feeling super spaced out, i’ve just been in this zone, it’s hard to describe……it was a mixture of alright and not alright, I just keep having this feeling of wonder where it’s slightly stressing, but i’m trying to not over stress about it, i’ve been trying to write a post all day, but it’s taken me until i’ve gotten home to actually properly sit and write without being distracted, I find I write better when it’s quiet, plus the quiet, helps me stay focus, I was listening to music earlier and although I was writing something

It was taking me quite some time and I still haven’t finished it, this is actually a new post i’m writing, so it’s completely different to what I started writing earlier on to the self care part of the day, so I went for my very first facial today, i’ll admit I was feeling a bit weird and maybe a tiny bit nervous, I know there’s no need to be nervous when your getting a facial,

I was okay when I was having to go in for the session, although I was still feeling weird about it, i’ve never gotten a facial before so I didn’t know what to expect from it, plus i’ve stated before how great I am with self care and when I say great I mean, it’s a new world for me, because I don’t do it often so there’s that, but once I got in and the facial was happening,

I actually found it quite nice and I felt it to be pretty easy relaxing, which is another thing that i’m really great at, hoping you’re picking up on the sarcasm that i’m throwing down there, no but seriously, it was pretty nice, the lady doing my facial was pretty nice too, not sure if you’re meant to talk when you’re getting a facial, but I did, luckily the lady was fine with it and we had a nice chat during the whole thing, I learned some stuff and got to know her just a little, it was good, it made the facial experience worth it i’d say, it was only a 60 min facial, you know you’d think that’d be pretty long,

60 mins, but man did it go by quickly I didn’t even realize she was finished, I didn’t really want to leave afterwards, but I guess with the conversation and the relaxing atmosphere along with the facial session as a whole, I guess the time would by smoothly when you think about it, but yeah it was pretty good, I got some stuff for my face to be able to maintain and keep my skin clean and fresh. I had to get the lady (Leah was her name, in case you’re wondering hopefully i’m okay to say that, it should be fine though)

To write down small steps to follow with the products so I would be able to follow along okay, since it was my first time being given a proper skin care kit that works best with my skin, she explained everything well with what order to use them in and how to properly apply them, but because I know the way I am, when it comes to how to do things when it’s something new to me, I asked her to write it down so I wouldn’t somehow mess it up or something and she did which was helpful so i’ve got that info down,

but yeah first time facial was pretty alright, I was feeling a certain way earlier and after getting that done, my mood shifted into a better one I guess you can say, not that I was having a horrible day, but I felt a lot different afterwards which was good, although the weather wasn’t the greatest to probably get a facial, i’m glad I still went and got one.

So that was my day, well now yesterday it’s midnight now as i’m finishing up this post, I know I probably should’ve gotten it done earlier, but anyway i’m going to head on to sleep now, pretty tired, I hope you all had a good day yesterday and I hope you have another good one today.

I hope you’re all doing well too, alright you all have a goodnight and I shall see you all in my next post, before I go though real quick…..

Have any of you ever gotten a facial before and if so…….what was your experience with it like!?

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Self care…..Part 2 (Oct 10, 2019)

I’ve already written a part one on the talks of self care, hence why you’re reading part 2, part 1 was more of a personal kind of talk, while this one will hopefully be talked about differently, in honor of World Mental Health Day, which is today (now yesterday) in case some of you didn’t know, don’t worry I actually didn’t know myself so if you forget or just genuinely wasn’t aware it’s okay, no worries, now my first write about self care isn’t up just yet, i’m still looking it over and reading it, it should be up before you see this though or you might see this one first and that one second,

I’ll try and keep it in order so it doesn’t get confusing, but I just wanted to let you know about that. I wanted to try and talk a little more about the importance of self care, because I don’t think people take it much into consideration and take it as serious as it should be, i’ve already stated in my first post how I have trouble with this, self caring isn’t really a big strong suit of mine, I find it weird, but i’ve realized how important it is to look after yourself. When it comes to self care, it’s surprisingly really difficult to keep yourself well, it shouldn’t be, but it is…..for some reason when it comes to our own well being, it’s a thought that is far from our minds, why!?

Well that’s a question that probably crosses our mind, yet it’s also a question that we tend to ignore if it does, now i’m not going to pretend that I know exactly what i’m talking about, because I don’t, I don’t really know much when it comes to self care, so I wouldn’t be able to tell you the ins and outs to it all, I’m actually just now learning about it properly myself, while having to adjust to it as well…..the only thing that I can say with it is,

As much as it may not seem like a big thing, it totally and definitely 100% percent is a big thing, most of us however ignore that fact and just continue to go about everything as if we can handle it all when in reality, that’s not always possible, we all have our breaking points and we all need a time and space to be able to just not deal with things for a bit, it’s well needed you know!? but in all seriousness, it is important to make sure you’re good and well, especially when dealing with mental health, I don’t think this can be expressed enough, people don’t think that mental health is a serious issue, but it really is, if you’re not well mentally, you won’t be able to be well in other aspects that are needed, everything starts with your mind.

If your mind is upside down and is just a complete mess, it’ll start to effect everything else around you as well, that’s why it’s important to make sure anything and everything that is within your headspace is filled with things that aren’t going to be harmful to you, easier said then done I know, believe me, I have a hard time keeping this in mind too, I struggle with Anxiety so my head is always being filled with so much it’s ridiculous!!

Some days are better than most, while on other days it tends to heighten and go into overload, it’s like having a whole lot of emails in your inbox and as you go through them all, you find most of what’s in your inbox, is just junk mail and so you go to delete them, but you realize you have a lot of junk mail then you know what to do with and you’re trying to figure out the best way to just get rid of it all, but you don’t know where to start and what’s actually important, so you’re just sitting there going through them all and although your concentrating hard on those emails, inside you’re freaking out and losing your mind just trying to get through it all.

The only thing with this email inbox is, it’s an everyday process and it seems like it keeps piling and piling and you wish you didn’t have to deal with it, but unfortunately it doesn’t go away, however it is maintainable, but it does come with some emotional and physical side effects…..

Sorry I think I went away from the topic for a bit, getting back on track, keeping your headspace clear from all things harmful and negative is a tough tasks to accomplish, it’s not impossible, it’s just hard. Anxiety though isn’t the only mental health issue that people deal with on a daily basis, people also struggle with depression, bi-polar disorders, eating disorders and so many other forms of mental health issues that’s out there……

Anxiety and depression are the most talked about in the mental health world, but those aren’t the only ones that people go through, it’s important to look at other issues just as much as we look at Depression and Anxiety, on the statistic outlook scale (hopefully that made sense) although they have different effects and are formed differently, they still connect in the same way, because they all stem from our emotions and thoughts.

It’s hard to wrap our heads around what causes some of us to have more of an effect then others when it comes to dealing with mental health, we all know it has to do with our brains and having some parts unlatched and disconnected from the rest of whatever is going on inside our brains, but when it comes to the science of it, it’s still a little complicated understanding fully, at least it’s one that i’m unable to explain properly to you guys.

But let’s not complicate things here, as much as I love and enjoyed science back in school, still enjoy it actually, also yes I know mental health is a more psychology related topic, then actual science, however you still use science with psychology i’m pretty sure, so it’s still in the same boat technically, don’t actually quote me on it though, because I know nothing alright.

Back to self care, because that’s what we were talking about here, it’s important to take care of yourself, plain and simple, I know it can be hard to take your focus away from everything and keep yourself from stressing and getting overwhelmed and that, but you have to know when to slow down and take a break at times so your able to function properly through the days, if you stop yourself from taking the time that you need to reboot and recharge you’ll end up crashing and breaking down to the point where you’ll find it extremely difficult to get back to where you left off…..

You don’t ever want to have it get to that point, so you have to try and keep a balance with everything, this coming from a girl where the word balance is nowhere near her daily vocabulary, it’s not even on a list, with that being said, self care is something we all have to try and practice, especially when it’s something that we aren’t really used to, it can be a challenge, but it doesn’t mean that it’s something not worth giving a chance, I mean it shouldn’t even be considered as an option, self care should be taken as an everyday kind of thing, but knowing how most of us operate……

We’re not always going to be able to look after ourselves the way we normally should, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still take care of ourselves. If we can’t commit to self care everyday, we should at least try and pick certain days throughout the week plus the weekend where we look at what we’re lacking or need improving on and do our best to work at that as much as we’re able to, so for example:

If you’re the type who struggles to relax or you don’t know how to, finding ways and practicing relaxation can help you to learn to take it easy a little bit more, plus it’ll keep your stress levels down while giving you the ability to clear away a good amount of headspace so your able to focus better.

This is something that I need to really practice a whole lot, because I don’t do that often, I would rather stress myself out then relax, that’s how much I give myself a break on things I feel I need to do better at, yeah…..but there’s a lot of ways to self care i’m sure and keep the chaos from becoming too chaotic, mental health and self care, should always go hand in hand, there should always be a balance between them, because without one, the other wouldn’t know what to do, so it helps to keep them together so that way you feel at ease, if not entirely, at least you know you’ll feel a little better with it.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Self care and Well other things…..(Oct 9, 2019)

Tell me, how does one actually self care!? This is a question that i’m sure most people wouldn’t ask right!? Yeah well this is me, asking genuinely, you see i’m not the greatest at self caring, relaxing isn’t really my strong suit and I just find it to be really weird focusing on just myself, i’m just not use to tending to my own needs and that, I tend to worry about everyone else’s before my own, it’s just how i’ve always been.

I know they say it’s important to take care of yourself, I mean how are you suppose to take care of others if you don’t look after yourself right!? It’s the same for when they say how are you suppose to love someone else, if you can’t love yourself!? The needs of others are important, but so are our own, and I think that we forget that sometimes, we get so focused on wanting to look after others, we forget to look after ourselves in the process.

You wouldn’t think self care to be so hard to do, but it’s actually pretty difficult to keep an eye on, especially when your the type who rarely focuses on themselves…..i’m the type who will put her focus into everyone else’s feelings, making sure they’re doing alright and never ever really take a step back and look at how i’m doing……sometimes you think you’re able to just run at full speed and not be bothered, but you shouldn’t and can’t spread yourself too thin, it’s not healthy and although most of us know that, we still end up doing it anyway and that’s because we don’t really know how to do anything else, that’s what happens when you care too much.

You give all this love and caring away, without leaving any for yourself and then you find yourself wondering why everything happened and why you aren’t happy and you don’t ever want to feel like that, you have to know when to think of yourself and say, i’m worn out, tired and I need to pick myself up and take a break to recharge myself.

It can hurt doing that, but sometimes you need to do that, you need to set a bit of boundary for people and let them know, i’m only human, I can only handle, but so much and I need you not to cross this line right here, it’s important to make sure people know that as well as being able to say no when you feel you aren’t up for something or just when you know you should, all of what i’m writing right now is something that I lack to do,

I’ll admit that, I think a good amount of us have trouble with this, it’s hard to think of yourself when you have all these responsibilities and people that you care about and all you want is to see them well and happy and you shouldn’t think of that as a bad thing, there’s nothing wrong with caring and wanting others to be happy, but it’s okay to also care about yourself as well and wanting your own happiness, if your not happy then you can’t share happiness with others and that’s important…

Something i’ve been learning is you can’t give out positivity if you yourself aren’t feeling positive, I used to be the most positive person around, always tried looking at the glass half full, always tried to help people and everything, but along the way, I guess I just stopped feeling that and now i’m having to really look at everything differently and it’s so hard. When it comes to what i’m doing in life, I don’t like to give myself a break, I stress so much and that’s me doing that to myself, I worry so much about everything and if I do something that I know is a step in the right direction, to me just because it isn’t a big big thing I won’t see as progress, even though it is,

It’s kinda like when you’re a kid and it’s Christmas day and you’re expecting this huge Christmas gift, but the gift that you receive is not what you expected so you’re kinda like “oh, well that’s cool” you’re happy, but you’re not happy you know what I mean!? I think we just expect everything to be this big thing and when it’s not quite like that, we’re left feeling a little down, disappointed or as if we’ve failed when in reality, we shouldn’t.

I know I probably went off track a little, i’m hoping everything makes sense, but what i’m trying to get at is just because things aren’t always instant doesn’t mean there isn’t anything great leading to it……and when it comes to self care one of the things that is important to remember is, not too be so hard on ourselves and to know that it’s okay to take our time with things if we know we need it, it’s okay not to be positive all the time, it’s okay to tell people hey, I need me time for a while so please just give me that and it’s especially okay to put yourself first at times, we shouldn’t feel selfish or bad in doing that, it’s important to balance it out I know, but if you feel you need to really get back to your good ole self, know you’re able to, without reason.

I don’t know much about self care, it’s a weird thing for me, but I am learning that it’s important in order to live happily and healthy, i’m finding it really difficult to really allow myself to worry about just myself and make sure that i’m okay before anything else, it’s going to take me a while to do that, but I am doing my best to work on that, I don’t ever say I need it, other people have to tell me I need to do that, which is sad, because you should already know what your needs are, but again it’s a difficult task at hand to get that in our heads on just how important it actually is, i’m still getting it through mine, because I worry too much on everything else going on.

I’m sure it’ll stick, it’s just going to take some time, but if someone ever tells you they need space to take care of themselves first, as much as you may care, you have to let them do that and while they’re doing that, you have to make sure you’re doing good as well, even if it’s hard, even if it’s weird, i’m pretty sure it’s worth it in the end.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Self Destruction (Dec 12, 2018)

Originally Written Dec 10, 2018

Why do we do it!? Why do we insist on watching ourselves suffer when we know that it’s not right!? Why is it so easy to tear ourselves down then it is to build ourselves up!? We sit and watch ourselves drown in our own sorrows and continue to rip ourselves in half when we feel we aren’t getting things right………we break and we break until we don’t have many pieces left to break. We expect everyone else to fix us and make us feel better, but we always know that deep down, it doesn’t matter how many people help and try and lift us up………..we’ll still feel broken inside and that’s because we’ve broken down ourselves so much that, although we want and try and let people in, we always end up pushing them away or trying to push them away when they try to help us, because we feel what’s the point!?

We can’t even fix ourselves so, how are we meant to let others help us if we can’t even help ourselves!? I mean we’re the one who chose to stay this way right!? We could fix ourselves and be better, yet we prefer to keep ourselves the way we are, on the ground or by locking ourselves away and choosing to stay isolated……..we chose to not try, we’d rather just dwell and keep ourselves just sitting in the dirt not wanting to change, why!? Why do we do that, why can’t we just fight ourselves, breakaway and set ourselves free!? We have the potential don’t we!? We have the creative mind and heart to go for it right!?…….Right!?

Maybe we don’t, maybe things are great where we are, it’s familiar and safe, I mean sure we fight against ourselves and, and we long for more than what we know and we try to make the most of where we are, even though we know we aren’t happy where we are. We continue to say, “let’s give it another try”, “i’m kinda happy, sorta, i’m trying” or “I don’t know how to move on, so I choose to stay here, because this is all I know………broken is all I know”………….I’m learning that if you try to convince yourself that you’re happy with what you’re doing and where you are, you’re just gonna continue to feel more and more unhappy and when that happens, that’s when you start to overthink and then your emotions start to take over, which then causes you to self destruct. 

There’s a lot of different ways you can self destruct: There’s trying your best to always be perfect, wanting to always make everyone else happy, keeping yourself isolated from everything, not being honest with yourself about your true feelings, keeping yourself in the same situation over and over……….I could sit here and list so many different things. We all self destruct at some point, some of us are good at hiding it and others it’s not always so easy………..the fact that we would rather hurt ourselves though and let ourselves get to the point of self destruction, is selfish and upsetting because it means you don’t care about yourself and when you don’t care about yourself, it’s hard to care about everything else………..you should care, you should be wanting to feel happy.

If you continue to let yourself have breakdowns after breakdowns or constantly make yourself feel like you’re not enough or you aren’t capable of anything, it’s only gonna leave you in a pile of your own destruction, do you really want that!? You have to be your own friend, if you start sabotaging yourself the only person to blame for all that is you, because you have the choice to finally stop yourself from completely destroying and I hope that you do finally stop tearing yourself away, because even though that mind of yours tells you that you aren’t good enough, you know that deep in your heart and soul, you are.

The mind can easily play tricks on you, but it’s you who has the choice to believe what the mind is telling you or fight back and save yourself from having a complete meltdown and if you’ve had meltdowns already, know that it’s okay, we all do, but  don’t think that it’s too late to change the way you are, because it’s not. Sometimes we have to have meltdowns after meltdowns in order to finally realize that what we do to ourselves affect us in a big way whether we think so or not, so please really look to yourself and ask yourself if what you’re doing is worth it and is what your doing making you happy!? If it’s not, then you know what it is you have to do, change it or keep self destructing, the choice is yours……..and I hope that you choose wisely. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~ 

Photo by Volkan Olmez on Unsplash