Happy Weekend Everyone! I hope that your day is going okay so far! I must say I’m a bit happy that this week is done and that we’ve entered the weekend….it’s been a long stressful anxious week and it’s not really been the greatest! If I’m being honest I’m still feeling quite anxious and a little overwhelmed, I thought it would go away, but no, it’s still there ha! It’s just been a really shit week and I don’t normally swear, but it’s how I feel, but I’m doing by best to try and make the most out of these days and keep positive in the best way I’m able to….key word trying….!
I normally don’t like talking about the way I’m feeling, but I don’t know how else to handle these emotions that have just come out of nowhere for me, since yesterday all I’ve been wanting to do is cry, my Anxiety has been up the wall and the sucky part is I really don’t know why…..scratch that there’s a few reasons, but I choose not to share upon them, but other than part of the reason, the other parts I really don’t know….all I know is I’ve just been feeling super stressed out this week and I’m trying to keep my emotions under control, but it’s becoming very hard….I don’t know if maybe sharing these feelings this way will help me to calm down a bit, I’m hoping it does, maybe that’s what I need a good expression session!
October has been very odd, it started off okay and not that bad, except for a couple of things and now it just feels like everything is going all over the place, so much is happening and I guess it’s happening super quickly and that’s why I’m feeling overwhelmed by it all, I’m not used to everything going by super quickly, I thought I was handling it pretty well and maybe I was, but all the craziness and just everything has started catching up to me, but I’m trying to stay calm! I’m trying not to lose control of it, because I know that if I do, it’s just going to get worst and I don’t want that to happen!
So I’m trying to keep my feet planted even if I do get pushed back a bit…I know I got to keep them planted and keep going, it’s the only way things will get better….I got a trip coming up in literally a week now and although I feel excited about it, I’m also very nervous and as much as I don’t want to be nervous I am…..I guess part of me is just hoping that it all goes well, it’s a long of way as I’ll be going to visit my partner finally being able to see him after a very long while…..not only that, but I’ll be seeing something completely new…..which is a bit scary, I mean anything new is quite scary really, but I’m excited because at least I’ll be able to see him….it doesn’t mean I’m not still nervous though! There’s just so much going on in my head and they’re all just combining together to the point where it’s just an overwhelming feeling and it’s the only feeling that I can seem focus on at the moment!
I’m just tired, but I’m still going to do my best to push through it as best as I can, I’m just hoping that the upcoming week is better than this past week and that there’s at least a good amount of fresh air to be inhaled, but for the time being I feel I just need to hold my breath or catch my breath even, before heading into the next few days coming…..I really hope that you guys are having a much better day and weekend…..it’s been quite the month and we’re just getting ready to wrap it all up, one thing I will say is…I do feel slightly better, not quite, but a bit, but hey I’ll take it and I’ll keep trying to make the most of these next few days, you guys take care!
By the way my latest podcast episode is up, if you guys want to check it out, you have a good rest of the day!
You ever feel a certain emotion, but you’re just too afraid to talk about that emotion!? Something in you wants to express truthfully to the feelings you feel, but you don’t instead you just ponder about whether or not to be expressive about it! That’s what I’m feeling right now, I know I’m having all these different emotions swimming around in my mind, but I can’t quite bring myself to talk about them and part of that reason is well I don’t like talking about how I actually feel, yet at the same time, I don’t ever know to express about, like I never know where to start, so I always find myself thinking on my emotions trying to gather some kind of words to start off….
For the past 2 days, I’ve been feeling very anxious, I could feel my anxiety jump a few levels too high to where I want them to be and whenever I get anxious I start overthinking and when I over think I go into a panic mode and then become very frustrated with how I’m feeling causing myself to later become emotional right after and I always do it and I always get mad myself for it, I know it’s something I shouldn’t be upset with myself for, but I still do!
I try not to think about it and by trying not think on it, I end up thinking on it more and then I become more frustrated on it, I got a lot of worries in me that I find hard to get rid of and I don’t know why exactly….but I know it doesn’t help to ignore the emotions or have them put away for another time, by not addressing the feelings that we find crowding us a little too much, we create more frustration within ourselves, we never really sit down and ask ourselves why we are feeling the way we are, when we feel them, we look away from them and try and distract ourselves with something else and when we feel them becoming more of a “too close step back a bit” feeling we start getting agitated by it.
We never feel like we’re allowed to feel the things we do, but the best way to handle those unpleasant emotions is to let them be, in a sense of when you feel them, let yourself feel them, don’t fight with them or push them to the side because then that creates more resistance when turning them away…..we have to tell ourselves that it’s okay to be uncomfortable with our not so great emotions, by accepting them, it makes it easier to let them go naturally without all the push backs and anger that we bring to ourselves because of them!
It’s okay to ask and question those emotions because it may help to get to the root of what is actually going on under the surface of it! If we can accept those good feeling moments where we are at our best, why can’t we do the same when we’re feeling at our worst!? There’s no good without the bad and no bad without the good, it’s all in the balance of it all, we need to feel like shit sometimes, we can’t always expect to feel like a bunch of happy dogs running around full of energy, sometimes we need to sit in a corner and just feel whatever it is we are feeling because that’s how we get over them, it’s how we start to feel better!
So if you were to ask me how I’ve been feeling…..I’m just a little Under Pressure at the moment, but I know eventually I’ll be alright! Hope all your days are going well!
P.S.
I only expressed on these emotions after watching a video last night, if you would like to watch that video, you can find it here: How To Control Your Anxiety (as an Empath)
Before we get to this review I just wanted to quickly brief some things the reason I didn’t post this right after I finished my review is because I felt it was a little long with both updates I have going on right now,
I wrote the intro two days ago, but I didn’t hear the album until yesterday, the intro explains why, my mood has kinda been a weird one lately, but I did go and re listen to Symptoms and wrote all my thoughts about it after the second listen of it, I just wanted to shorten the length of this post and not have two things going on, hopefully it’s still not too long with this little update disclaimer, before we move on I just want to say that not a lots changed with my thoughts about it, only one thing, but it’s good so don’t worry…..not that you are i’m sure…..anyway let’s get to it shall we!?
May 12 2020 around 4pm in the afternoon
Okay so i’m about to re listen to Symptoms and re share my thoughts about it since my first listen of it, which was only a week ago actually, which is odd because it feels a lot longer than a week, I don’t know why!? Now i’ll be a little honest…….i’ve kinda sorta, have been putting it off, not because I don’t like it, but because I just haven’t been in the mode to sit and re hear it!!
The days I planned on re looking at it, I just wasn’t feeling it, so I would keep adding it towards a later date pushing it further and further back, but today we’re just going to do it, normally when listening to an album that i’ve gotten into or ones that I have on my listen to list that I feel I want to share and talk about, I like to record my reaction to it first and then give it at least a day to sink in before I write my thoughts on it as a post, it’s WAAAAY past a day as you already know……sorry about that…..but we are going to listen to it though and see if any of my thoughts went and changed within a week of the first listen of it, i’m excited to re hear it and get a refresher on it
Hopefully I still like the whole album, i’m sure I will, but opinions change so we’ll see!!
First song on the list…..which is the title of this album Symptoms:
Alright so here’s what I got on this song…..I felt it had a very nice chillness to it, I was feeling some emotions while listening a little, but that could’ve been some random ones trying to come up for all I know, but yeah,
There’s not too much to say on this one, the lyrics are good and so is the song….also remember when I said something changed a little from my first review of this album!? Yeah well this is what changed, when I first heard this song, I wasn’t sure how to feel about it, I knew I liked the song, but I didn’t know what to think of it at first, now i’m here to say that, it kinda feels like it could be a favorite…….probably need to hear it a third time,
before adding it to the definite list, that being said, i’ve also kinda set it out to be a favorite soooo……let’s just say……it is….but not definitely, definitely just yet, yeah!? okay glad we’ve discussed it!!
Next we have the runner up track of the album……Looking Glass
Have I set that up alright, did it make sense!? Hopefully it didn’t sound too cheesy, I know it might be a hit or miss there……i’ll take my chances….moving on though, okay so this song……..I love the grooviness of it and the lyrics are probably one of my favorites on this album, you just, you feel it……if I could describe it, i’d say it’s like a dance track, but it’s a very interesting song as well…..actually now that i’m thinking about it,
It sorta reminds me of another Ashley Tisdale song from her album Headstrong called Not Like That (which is one of my favorites off that album) because of the lyrics mainly, not comparing or anything, both songs are different of course, if you heard not like that and this song than you might hear it, but you might not as well, either way I really like this song,
my only thing with is…….I would’ve liked the beat to play by itself without some of the lyrics from the chorus finishing it off, only because I really like hearing the best, but that’s just a minor thing, when I heard it again, it really wasn’t that bad, so either way of it ending is fine, overall though the song is great, is it a favorite!? Kinda…..it’s the same as the first song, where it’s a favorite, but it’s not exactly on the favorite list, but also is…..
Let’s just say both Looking Glass and Symptoms are on the list…..they’re just written in pencil, but will soon be inked in the more I listen to them!!
In third place….no i’m kidding, the third track on this album is……Love Me and Let Me Go
Okay so this is probably one of what I would consider to be an interesting song to talk about, looking at the title you might think of it to be a specific thing, however when you hear it, you might find that it’s completely different to what you might’ve thought it to be……when I first heard this song, I felt it was a song written for herself as past tense or more like a letter to herself, but not at the same time, it’s hard to explain, but if you hear it, it might make sense, the second time hearing it though……
There was a song that actually came to mind when she was singing the lines “i’ve been chained up to my mind” and “tryna to leave it all behind” both from the first verse, however they have different lines to them, now at first I couldn’t quite put my finger on the song that it reminded me of, but after giving it a quick listen to it again…..I now know what it is…..it was a Matt Cardle song called When We Collide if you don’t know him he’s a great artist, he was actually on the X Factor (UK Version) great voice this one, but yeah this songs great, it’s actually one of my favorites,
but yes, Love Me and Let Me Go reminded me of that song, just with the way it was sung, he kinda does the same thing in the first verse of this song too and I just found it interesting that it reminded me of that, but back to the song we’re discussing off the Symptoms album it’s a great song, chorus is nice, the meaning with it is also pretty great, speaking of, I didn’t know what this song was actually about, I felt it was sung more towards herself, but when looking up the lyrics to get the lines to what I was talking about, I learned that,
I was correct in a way, it’s not a song towards herself per say, but to her Anxiety, which makes a whole lot of sense looking at it now and I gotta say I might just love it more, but even if I didn’t just find that out, I would’ve still said it was great and that I love it!!
On to one of my definite favorites on this album: Insomnia
Now I must note that when I realized this song was next when re listening to Symptoms, a smile came across my face, I LOVE THIS SONG!!!……LIKE LOVE IT!! it’s just soooo good this one, I mean if I had to describe it which I did when jotting down notes while listening to it……it’s quite subtle for one, definitely intimate, but not in the way where it’s too much, it’s the right kind okay!! There’s some temptation to it, but it’s not a bad temptation,
What I mean by that is, both the beat (music) and lyrics of the song just combined so well together, the beat does a great job at pulling you in and the lyrics just complement it sooo nicely, you know you’re getting a really nice meal with it, it’s great, I could try and explain it more, but i’m just going to tell you to listen to it, because it’s really great, after re hearing it,
I played it back about three times maybe before moving on the the next song that’s how much of a favorite of mine it is……..just…..beautiful!!
Moving on…..to track 5……Vibrations!!
Okay now just because the into of it is shorter than the others doesn’t mean that I didn’t like the song…….the same way I felt about it the first time, is the same way I feel about it now……it’s a pretty alright song, not a lot to say with it…..it’s one of those chill tracks, laying low and just enjoying the company of someone or maybe just your own company, which ever you prefer, but you can’t go wrong with a fun time and that’s what this song brings, I feel this might be a kind of soft spot kind of song, where it’s not a favorite per say, but I still can appreciate it for what it is and enjoy it at the same time!!
Track 6…….Under Pressure
Which happens to have some shorter thoughts to the one prior, which is just I love it!!…….seriously that’s all, it’s one of those relatable songs, that you feel once you hear the lyrics, the title really does say it all, but it’s a great song, but I really love about it though is, although the lyrics express on feeling under pressure, no pun intended……it also turns it around and makes it into a positive which is good……..so yeah, it’s good song!!
We’ve now reached track 7 or as I like to call it number SEVEEEEEEEN!! (if you watched my Jonas Brothers album review, you’ll get it!!) track 7…..True Romance
There’s a reason I say it like that, lately and don’t know why, but number 7 seems to be the number that just gets my emotions running because in my Jonas Brothers album review of Happiness Begins, number 7 was a favorite and had my emotions going a little and in this album review of Symptoms, number 7 happened to also get my emotions running and so i’m just accepting that it’s going to be like that with these kind of songs,
I’m not even going to express my thoughts on this one because it’s the same reaction I had when I first reviewed it, I still love it, the lyrics still get me and it’s still a favorite of mine and that’s a definite on that one!!!
Track 8……Voices In My Head
Now i’m sure most or if not some of you will remember that I gave my thoughts one this song around the time it was out for, if you haven’t you can find it here: Voices In My Head (Thoughts) because I heard this song, I wasn’t going in not knowing what to expect from it, like the other songs off the album when I first heard them, so re hearing it my reaction for it never changed, I actually love this song, it’s one of my favorite, I still listen to it from time to time and if I don’t……i’m most likely singing it to myself because it decided to get stuck in my head randomly on a certain day so yeah, but it’s great song, also very relatable and super catchy might I add!!
We’ve come to the last track of the album, track 9…..Feeling So Good!!
I actually don’t have that much to say about it…..when I first heard it I believe I had the same reaction, it a nice fun song, about feeling good and just enjoying yourself really……I did say that this could’ve been on the Happiness Begins album, because I could definitely see Joe, Nick and Kevin singing this song as well, maybe with Ashley, have them featured on it, you know…..just saying…….no, but seriously (hint, hint. wink. wink.)
Good song this one is, I feel like I heard some people in the background at the end of the song…..specifically Vanessa!? HSM cast cameo within the song!? others possibly, most likely…..who knows right!? Okay i’ll stop now, sometimes I just can’t help myself……
Final Thoughts:
Everything I said in my first reaction of it, I also said that I wish this album had more songs, because 9 wasn’t enough….still slightly feel that way with it, because I want to hear more Ashley Tisdale songs, but now i’m okay with what we got with the Symptoms album, there wasn’t one song that I didn’t like, which is good because that’s what I wanted originally and i’m glad that didn’t change in this second review of it!!
I really did enjoy re listening to it, Symptoms is a really great album, I love it and i’m looking forward to hearing more of Ashley Tisdale when we do, she really is a favorite of mine to both watch and listen to!!
That’s all for this album review, thank you for taking the time to read it if you did and I hope you truly enjoyed it, if you want to see my first reaction of when I first listened to it, you can find it here: Now Playing: Symptoms By Ashley Tisdale (Album Review) – First Reaction Review hope you all are doing well, staying safe and your days are going okay!!
I’m going to be real here, i’ve been slightly stressing out on what to write about today, I don’t have anything interesting to talk about so i’ve been trying to do other things for the time being so that way in case something did pop up to me, i’d be able to write about it, but all that came up was me getting anxious for what, I have no idea, I just was and still am a little!!
I think maybe today I just need to calm, no need to get stressed because you don’t have something to write about right!? If I happened to have something come up before I head on to bed, then i’ll try and write it before then, but if not, I hope this post is okay for now……..
Happy Friday Everyone!! Hope you all are doing well and have had a good week and day, my day was okay, not too bad, since we’re at the end of the week I thought let’s talk upon the topic of meditation.
Disclaimer:This was the post I was talking about guys, here’s the heads up!!
Back to the post, meditation what is it!? Well if you ask me, I would have to look up the actually definition of it to have a better understanding of, but for the most part it’s pretty much just a way of relaxing, clearing the mind, body all that jazz!! It’s a good way to destress, so they say and by they I mean people who actually meditate, now I said in my last post that i’d tell you about the times I tried meditation, which I will, right now so you guys don’t have to wait too long, the first time I tried mediating……
I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right and I found it a little weird while I was doing it, a lot of things are pretty weird to me these days to be honest, the first time I tried it, I watched a 5 minute meditation video and it was one of those guided meditation videos, you know where they talk you through it telling you to breathe in and out and to focus on your breathing and so on.
Again it was only 5 mins, but for a 5 min video it did take a bit of time to get through, the reason I feel I didn’t do it right is because, I know with meditation you’re supposed to relax, but I am terrible at relaxing which i’m sure you all know by now, I was trying to follow along and really listen to the voice and what they were saying, meditation isn’t hard, but it also is…..
When meditating you have to learn to clear your mind and relax both the mind and body so that way it works, but with me, well I don’t meditate often for one, this was kinda my first time really trying it out, i’ve never really done a guided meditation before that’s why it felt so weird also when it comes to clearing of the mind…….i’m not the greatest with it at all,
I’ll still have thoughts just swarming around my head, so trying the guided meditation where they talk you through it, yeah it didn’t really help all that much, I wasn’t chilled out or relaxed after listening to it, however listening to mediation music without the talking, has helped to keep me calm…..for the most part anyway, I still have moments where even when i’m listening to some kind of meditation music or atmospherical music that is calming, I still go in and out of intense emotions, stress anxiety things like that.
I just don’t really know how to stop thinking that’s my only problem, I think too much and I don’t allow myself to relax mentally and just in general, but after a while I slowly turn my focus on the music and what i’m doing, be it reading, doodling and sometimes writing, when it comes to writing I mainly do it in silence because it’s the only way I know how to focus on it and when it comes to everything else, I try and zone out for the time being so I don’t go and drive myself mad with all the thinking and everything in between.
Point of story, meditation is good, you just gotta allow yourself to relax and just not worry about everything else for a bit, it’s not easy to do and if your a thinker like I am, it’ll take some time getting use to, but i’d say if you’re having a hard time relaxing, just take your time with it,
Slowly find your way through, for some people it takes longer to relax, but you have to allow yourself to relax, otherwise you won’t, believe me!! If you work better having someone talk to you, try a guided meditation if you relax better when there’s little noise meditation music should help, I recommend the atmospheric kind, but you can just chose what you like, which ever works best for you, however way you’re able to relax go for it.
I’m still getting the hang out what meditation is and finding the best way to relax, i’ve listened to a few good meditation songs already and just calming music in general as background noise, ones without words and are hours long and when I say hours I mean 3-11, well the one I was listening to yesterday is about 11 hours, almost 12 (11 hours, 55 mins and 01 second)
Although that’s very long, it’s a nice one!! Now i’m going to be honest here, you need a lot of patience meditating, if you aren’t the patient kind, I don’t know if quiet meditation will be the thing for you, you might find other things that help you relax and that’s fine, everyone has their way of relaxing, but I still think having calm music in the background for a bit
Can really help to put you in a relaxing mode, even if it’s just playing while you’re doing something else, but again however way you relax is fine!!
I think that’s all I have for you guys on this post, i’m going to be honest, I don’t even know how I wrote all this, my brain right now is pretty much done for the day, it’s so done that my words aren’t matching up properly when I speak, which i’m doing as i’m writing this, the only thing that my brain is able to do is make me sing a song that I heard earlier today and is now stuck in my head, it’s a good song so i’m not too bothered about it!!
All The Love ❤ ❤
Lexa
P.S.I want to share a doodle, before I post this, but I don’t have one now, well I do, but I kinda want to create a new one, so what I will do is, i’m going to post this and doodle away and then tomorrow I will update this post and share it with you guys once it’s done, either that or i’ll choose a random one I already have, but until then I shall leave this…..
Insert Doodle Here: Update I have now shared the doodle that I wanted, I had to outline it before I posted, still have decided on any colors yet, hopefully something pops up, if you guys have any suggestions go on and share them if you like, i’ll write a post on a few of my doodles so far once i’ve brighten them up with colors, hope you all are having a good day!! ^_^
So recently i’ve been listening to some meditation music, you know the kind that’s meant to help you relax and zone out for a while, for the most part it does calm things down, I mainly listen to it when i’m doodling or reading or when I want to drown any other noise out around me, some are good and even have a few favorites, others I can only listen to them for a short period of time and slightly over, meditation music is pretty,
Although I enjoy the atmospheric ones the most, but regular meditation music is good too, you’d be surprised on how many there actually are!! You go and look up a specific kind based on mood and that and i’m telling you you’ll find and have a whole list and more to choose from, it’s insane!! There’s literally a category for everything, you’ll never run out of options.
I listened to one today, I was thinking a lot and had things in my mind, I did get them out by writing a bit, it wasn’t anything feeling wise, well not particularly that anyway, it was more me thinking of someone, so I wrote something, but I haven’t posted it, it’s kinda just written down thoughts that was in my mind, but I looked up some meditation music to help calm down,
There was a lot of options again, I ended up going back and forth on a few, until I settled for a specific one, the one I chose was supposed to help clear the mind and keep you from overthinking as well as help reduce anxiety, it was working, the only thing I would recommend when listening to it is,
Just listen to it, grab a book, sketchbook, coloring book anything that is keeping you distracted or at least occupied for the time being and put it on in the background and zone out, make sure you don’t go doing something else while it’s playing that might heighten stress levels and that, because then it won’t work, with meditation music you have to be relaxed in order for it to do it’s job correctly, so that’s the only recommendation I have.
Other than that you should be fine, choose one that works best for you or best with your mood, however you want and just enjoy!! That’s all I have for now, this isn’t the post that I was talking about yesterday that i’d post, but it does have to do with meditation, it’s pretty much the same, but i’m talking about meditation music and not meditation itself, that post will be tomorrow, i’ll make sure to talk about it fully from when I tried it.
What’s your favorite kind of meditation music, do you prefer regular kind, nature sounds or the atmospheric “spacey” kind!?
Here’s another doodle I did today, I haven’t added any colors yet as you can see, any suggestions are welcome though!!
Close your eyes and breathe, while you’re breathing tell me what it is you see!? What do you feel, are you happy, sad, tired, what emotions are flowing over you right now!? These are the questions I decided to ask randomly…..
I actually wrote that starter intro a couple days ago with some other stuff, but ended up coming back and changing some things here and there, I know it’s been a while, a week or two more like since posting, it’s not that I haven’t been wanting to post, I just feel very selective on what I want to post, if I do write it tends to be more on the serious side to what i’m feeling.
Lately however my lack of writing has been due to me not having much to say other than what i’m feeling and the things that I felt we’re more anxious and stressed based then if I was just going to write a normal random post.
It’s for that reason as well as other stuff, to why I haven’t really been that active on my blog. I still would write, I just wouldn’t post all that I had written out already, plus with certain posts I just didn’t feel they needed to be posted, while i’ve been away though, i’ve been doing a whole lot of doodling, sorta drawing I guess you can say as well.
Sometimes you find that when words are unable to be written, there’s other ways to let your mind run wild and for me, doodling has been the stable for my thoughts to safely run about without going too crazy, the only thing is I tend to doodle when stressed or anxious, the most at least, I sometime doodle when i’m confused or just need to get my mind sorted a bit,
but my doodling comes mostly from my over anxiousness and the fact that I stress myself out too much and the fact that I overthink a lot too…..so the best way I find that works best to keep distracted is to grab my sketchbook and pencil and just let my mind do the talking.
Now i’m not the most extravagant drawer, well doodler in this case, I would say I have a more abstract way of drawing, unless i’m trying to really focus on making something, most of the time however it’s just spirals, lines, curves, swoops all the weird shapes you can probably think of maybe……
Sometimes it takes a bit of time for me to calm down while i’m doodling and scribbling about, because well i’m not really kind to myself the way I should be, still working on it…..but once I have calmed down, that’s when I fully go ahead and look at what i’ve put my pencil to paper on and really start to admire what my pencil had me create, it helps for the most part i’d say!!
I’ve created quite a few doodles already some are complete and already outlined, some are still pencil drawn and 2 out of 3 are outlined and colored in, the 3rd is still being colored, i’m not really sure with the colors i’ve chose, but i’m doing my best to work around it, i’ll get it i’m sure!!
Here’s two different showcases of what i’m talking about:
This was the first doodle/drawing that I attempted at, originally I tried to draw out this mat that we have outside my house, because I liked the way it looked, but it wasn’t going the way I wanted it, so I ended up improvising instead and it turned out like this:
Sun Doormat Attempt (Improvisation)
The sun in the middle is what my doormat had in the middle of it, so I kept that, it might look a little off or weird, but i’d say it has some character to it, looking at it though, it could be mistaken for some kind of flower, maybe!? Who knows, the colors I chose, well i’m not really sure what made me chose them, I just looked at it and felt those colors should go with it.
Also green, purple and blue are my three favorite colors, so they were the main colors I highlighted!!
Now as for the second one, i’m about to show you, you’ll see it right away i’m sure, I made this one later to the first one I made it’s a few pages after, but because it’s already finished I thought i’d share it with you guys:
Now I can’t remember the reasoning behind this one, it was just something within the moment I think I created with the help of whatever emotions I was feeling when I made this at the time…..the only thing I know for sure about this one is that I already knew what kind of feeling I wanted it to be, I wanted to use calming colors and so that’s what I did!!
Disclaimer:
There’s a drawing for this post and by that I mean this post came with a drawing, but I haven’t gotten to outlining and coloring it yet, so that’s why it’s not showcased, I do have it, it’s just still in pencil form, i’d share it, i’m just not sure if you’ll be able to see it because I pencil very lightly, but once I get to it, i’ll be sure to write a different post showing you the outline and color version of it.
Although it can be good to express using words, sometimes you have those moments where you come across a different outlet for you to use as an alternative when your main voice of expression simmers down a bit giving you a different kind of art platform to express on…….
One thing I admire about art, no matter the art form, but specifically on the topic of drawing, is you still get to say what you want, only you’re not having to say any words with it…..you can see it and interpret it however you feel, kinda like with music only slightly, but also a bit more different.
Do you guys ever doodle (scribble) when under pressure, relaxed or even just for fun!?
I’ve already written a part one on the talks of self care, hence why you’re reading part 2, part 1 was more of a personal kind of talk, while this one will hopefully be talked about differently, in honor of World Mental Health Day, which is today (now yesterday) in case some of you didn’t know, don’t worry I actually didn’t know myself so if you forget or just genuinely wasn’t aware it’s okay, no worries, now my first write about self care isn’t up just yet, i’m still looking it over and reading it, it should be up before you see this though or you might see this one first and that one second,
I’ll try and keep it in order so it doesn’t get confusing, but I just wanted to let you know about that. I wanted to try and talk a little more about the importance of self care, because I don’t think people take it much into consideration and take it as serious as it should be, i’ve already stated in my first post how I have trouble with this, self caring isn’t really a big strong suit of mine, I find it weird, but i’ve realized how important it is to look after yourself. When it comes to self care, it’s surprisingly really difficult to keep yourself well, it shouldn’t be, but it is…..for some reason when it comes to our own well being, it’s a thought that is far from our minds, why!?
Well that’s a question that probably crosses our mind, yet it’s also a question that we tend to ignore if it does, now i’m not going to pretend that I know exactly what i’m talking about, because I don’t, I don’t really know much when it comes to self care, so I wouldn’t be able to tell you the ins and outs to it all, I’m actually just now learning about it properly myself, while having to adjust to it as well…..the only thing that I can say with it is,
As much as it may not seem like a big thing, it totally and definitely 100% percent is a big thing, most of us however ignore that fact and just continue to go about everything as if we can handle it all when in reality, that’s not always possible, we all have our breaking points and we all need a time and space to be able to just not deal with things for a bit, it’s well needed you know!? but in all seriousness, it is important to make sure you’re good and well, especially when dealing with mental health, I don’t think this can be expressed enough, people don’t think that mental health is a serious issue, but it really is, if you’re not well mentally, you won’t be able to be well in other aspects that are needed, everything starts with your mind.
If your mind is upside down and is just a complete mess, it’ll start to effect everything else around you as well, that’s why it’s important to make sure anything and everything that is within your headspace is filled with things that aren’t going to be harmful to you, easier said then done I know, believe me, I have a hard time keeping this in mind too, I struggle with Anxiety so my head is always being filled with so much it’s ridiculous!!
Some days are better than most, while on other days it tends to heighten and go into overload, it’s like having a whole lot of emails in your inbox and as you go through them all, you find most of what’s in your inbox, is just junk mail and so you go to delete them, but you realize you have a lot of junk mail then you know what to do with and you’re trying to figure out the best way to just get rid of it all, but you don’t know where to start and what’s actually important, so you’re just sitting there going through them all and although your concentrating hard on those emails, inside you’re freaking out and losing your mind just trying to get through it all.
The only thing with this email inbox is, it’s an everyday process and it seems like it keeps piling and piling and you wish you didn’t have to deal with it, but unfortunately it doesn’t go away, however it is maintainable, but it does come with some emotional and physical side effects…..
Sorry I think I went away from the topic for a bit, getting back on track, keeping your headspace clear from all things harmful and negative is a tough tasks to accomplish, it’s not impossible, it’s just hard. Anxiety though isn’t the only mental health issue that people deal with on a daily basis, people also struggle with depression, bi-polar disorders, eating disorders and so many other forms of mental health issues that’s out there……
Anxiety and depression are the most talked about in the mental health world, but those aren’t the only ones that people go through, it’s important to look at other issues just as much as we look at Depression and Anxiety, on the statistic outlook scale (hopefully that made sense) although they have different effects and are formed differently, they still connect in the same way, because they all stem from our emotions and thoughts.
It’s hard to wrap our heads around what causes some of us to have more of an effect then others when it comes to dealing with mental health, we all know it has to do with our brains and having some parts unlatched and disconnected from the rest of whatever is going on inside our brains, but when it comes to the science of it, it’s still a little complicated understanding fully, at least it’s one that i’m unable to explain properly to you guys.
But let’s not complicate things here, as much as I love and enjoyed science back in school, still enjoy it actually, also yes I know mental health is a more psychology related topic, then actual science, however you still use science with psychology i’m pretty sure, so it’s still in the same boat technically, don’t actually quote me on it though, because I know nothing alright.
Back to self care, because that’s what we were talking about here, it’s important to take care of yourself, plain and simple, I know it can be hard to take your focus away from everything and keep yourself from stressing and getting overwhelmed and that, but you have to know when to slow down and take a break at times so your able to function properly through the days, if you stop yourself from taking the time that you need to reboot and recharge you’ll end up crashing and breaking down to the point where you’ll find it extremely difficult to get back to where you left off…..
You don’t ever want to have it get to that point, so you have to try and keep a balance with everything, this coming from a girl where the word balance is nowhere near her daily vocabulary, it’s not even on a list, with that being said, self care is something we all have to try and practice, especially when it’s something that we aren’t really used to, it can be a challenge, but it doesn’t mean that it’s something not worth giving a chance, I mean it shouldn’t even be considered as an option, self care should be taken as an everyday kind of thing, but knowing how most of us operate……
We’re not always going to be able to look after ourselves the way we normally should, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still take care of ourselves. If we can’t commit to self care everyday, we should at least try and pick certain days throughout the week plus the weekend where we look at what we’re lacking or need improving on and do our best to work at that as much as we’re able to, so for example:
If you’re the type who struggles to relax or you don’t know how to, finding ways and practicing relaxation can help you to learn to take it easy a little bit more, plus it’ll keep your stress levels down while giving you the ability to clear away a good amount of headspace so your able to focus better.
This is something that I need to really practice a whole lot, because I don’t do that often, I would rather stress myself out then relax, that’s how much I give myself a break on things I feel I need to do better at, yeah…..but there’s a lot of ways to self care i’m sure and keep the chaos from becoming too chaotic, mental health and self care, should always go hand in hand, there should always be a balance between them, because without one, the other wouldn’t know what to do, so it helps to keep them together so that way you feel at ease, if not entirely, at least you know you’ll feel a little better with it.
Objective:Describe yourself, surroundings, frame of mind and emotional state, but try and write it in a third person point of you (he/she not I or me)
She wakes up to a repeated routine, washing dishes, making coffee with toast and then sits on her bed in the center of the room. She grabs a few journals from her bookcase, adds a little background noise and tries her best to look busy when deciding on what she can write about in a journal.
Her mind soon starts wandering, thinking on how she should be more productive then this. Feelings of guilt and stress come over her, making the situation look like a good place to sulk and and sit in self-pity, she tries to come up with solutions that could help her to move forward, but she lets herself think of outcomes to trying, letting in the Anxiety and giving her an excuse to not go fourth with it, knowing full well it wasn’t a good one.
She asks herself questions, that she already has the answers to, asking people for advice and tips, hoping that this time she’ll finally put them into actions herself, without the need of guidance. She locks herself away and forces herself to stay where she is, even though she knows it’s not where she wants to be, she glances outside her window, watching everyone’s life inattentive of her own, as she sees it as better. Deep in thought,
She wonders how it got so bad, but only she would know the true answer to that, it was her that held back, allowing herself to fall behind when all she had to do was try harder, she allowed her head to get the best of her in moving forward, underestimating herself and believing she wasn’t good enough. If only she would allow herself to be confident and trust in the abilities that she possesses, instead of questioning and second guessing herself, things would change and be a little better, she just can’t bring herself to believe she has it in her to do so, why you might ask!?
Fear, it’s fear that keeps her hidden, it’s the thought of being judged and feeling as if she won’t fit in wherever she goes, that she’ll feel too out of place. It’s the worry that whatever she does, won’t be good enough, those fears have always been there, but it’s not until now that they’ve started slowly coming to the surface, not fitting in never really bothered her before, but now it ends up in the back of her mind at times, those fears need to go if she wants to get anywhere and even she herself knows it’s time to move.
P.S.I hope I did this whole writing prompt right, I found this creative writing prompt website last night, okay I searched for it more like, I was curious and wanted to see what kind of prompts there were so I could try my hand at it, there were quite a few, I might try out another one, this one was fun, it actually made writing a little less intimidating….
If you would like to give it a try as well, the link is here: Creative Writing Prompts there’s other prompts on there as well if you prefer to do a different one, it’s good writing practice, at least that’s what I think prompts are for, I don’t really do them all that often ha. Hope you enjoy!!
How’s everyone doing these days, hope well!! Now I know what some of you are probably thinking, “Where have you been!?” and if you aren’t thinking that well then, that’s okay, but I will sorta explain why I haven’t written anything new for the past 2 to almost 3 weeks, I think the longest i’ve went not posting is about a few days maybe a week, this times a new record, we surpassed a week of not posting, can we get an hurrah!?
No i’m kidding, I haven’t posted on here for a reason, you see i’ve been away due to my brain thinking a lot mainly on where i’m going or want to go at least……there’s a lot of things that I haven’t really expressed on here, I might do that one day, not sure when exactly, but one day……
I still haven’t gained that much courage to do so just yet. Now even though I haven’t written and posted anything new on my blog in a good while, I have been still writing, just more handwriting then typing, i’m actually close to filling one of my journals, not quite finished, but it’s getting there i’d say.
So yeah, i’ve been trying to really think on what I want to do (career wise) this isn’t anything new really, it’s something that i’ve been switching back and forth with for a good while now, i’ve just been putting it off for a good amount of time and you know what that’s no one else’s fault but mine, you think you’re fine with something, but then realize you’re not.
So yeah there’s that for one……i’ve also been trying to get better at certain things…..still sorta working on that……i’m kinda feeling a bit of stress and pressure and that’s me doing that to myself because I really want to get somewhere and feel good about it, I mean we all do don’t we!?
There’s a lot let’s just say, but i’m doing my best to work it all out so I could move forward from where i’ve always been stood, if that makes sense!?
I must say this has got to be the most i’ve written in a while on here, which is surprising for some reason, because normally I write a lot, in my journals at least, i’m not sure how often i’ll be posting on here, I kinda purposely stepped away from here just so I can get my head straight and that, plus i’ve been wanting to make this blog better and i’m not sure in what way I want to do that, maybe it’ll be more personal or something, i’m not sure yet.
Hopefully it’ll all just happen naturally, but yeah that’s just a bit of an update I guess you can say, I don’t know what else to say, I hope you’re all doing well and having a good day sorry it’s taken me a few weeks to write, I kinda felt as though I didn’t have much to say so I didn’t, I have missed it though I won’t say I didn’t, i’m always on here believe it or not haha……
That’s all I have for now, but I will post something again soon, maybe not this week or maybe, who know, I might surprise you and post something one of these days or during the weekend, i’ll go based on if I feel I want to say something or how i’m feeling, right now it’s just how things are going,
But you guys enjoy the rest of your day or night depending on what time of day it is where you are and i’ll write to you guys again soon.
P.S.Since we’re coming to the closing days of Summer I thought i’d share something I made a while ago, I was meant to post it, but never did…..
The Wandering Daydreamer 