Look At Those Eyes….

Song Of The Day: Look At Those Eyes By Alexz Johnson (this is one of my favorite songs from of course one of my favorite artists Alexz Johnson, love her!! The title of this post as you can see was inspired by it!!)

They say when you look into the eyes of someone, not only do you see the window to their soul, but you also get to really see their true emotions and how their actually feeling. We always try and hide the way we feel and that’s because we try not to let people know that were struggling, it’s odd though, we’re fine with showing off the happy parts of our lives and of ourselves, but when it comes to the parts we think no ones going to want to see, we hide it and try to lock it away so we’re not asked questions.

Once we find ourselves on the low side of town, we automatically feel as though we have to discard it and put up this front and pretend that everything is okay and that we’re fine…..that we don’t have any issues and were happy, but when you really get a good look, you see that’s not the truth, that’s why we tend to avoid people, because not only are we afraid that we’re going to ruin people’s moods with our own,

but we know that if people spend even the smallest amount of time with us and catch even a glimpse into our eyes…..they will know the truth and see all the emotions and struggles we tried so desperately to keep hidden away and having people see that, makes us want to crawl away somewhere and you may ask why, it’s because we’re ashamed and embarrassed to have to let those things show, the thought of a million questions and worrying…..

It’s for that reason we avoid, it’s for that reason, we think staying to ourselves is much better than being around people, at least when we’re alone we don’t have to worry about feeling uncomfortable with ourselves, because we’ve gotten so used to the feeling. If we’re around people when we aren’t feeling our best it’s like we have to pretend again, we have to go on stage and play this part that we really aren’t familiar with, but we make sure to sell the hell out of it as best as we can, sometimes it works…..

Other times not as much, that’s only because when you have people around you that know you, it’s hard to fool them, unless your acting skills are on a high that day….but everything you need or want to know are in the way of a persons eyes, some are lost, sad, angry…..

Then you have some that are full of light and are actually fine, other times though, when you’re looking into someones eyes you’ll find that they just don’t know what to do and are just trying to get things right someway, even though they have no clue what they’re doing.

P.S. This was a journal entry I wrote a few weeks ago, I felt this to be appropriate to share today, if you have any thoughts share it down below!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Having The Pace Of A Turtle, But Wanting Things To Go Quickly Like The Hare

Question of the day: If you had to compare the way you do things to any animal you could think of, what animal would you be and why are you that animal!?

If I had to compare myself to an animal, I think I would be a turtle and i’ll do my best to explain why that is. You see i’ll admit i’m not the fastest person when it comes to doing things, I like to take my time with everything, make sure everything’s good, maybe that’s a bad trait and all, I don’t know……..The reason i’m talking about this topic is because I discussed this earlier in a new evening page I wrote, along with some other topics, i’m sure this will get somewhere, however i’m not sure if it’s gonna make sense, but i’ll do my best. 

In my evening page I talk how I see myself as a turtle when it come to the pace in which I do most things and to a lot of people it’s probably annoying, to them it might seem a little lazy I guess, but i’ve never really been a quick person, I like to take my time with things and let things happen naturally, however that being said, i’m also the kind of person who, at the same time likes certain things to happen right away and believe me I know it’s confusing and a little odd, I didn’t really think about it until I started writing this. I have this thing where I don’t really do things fast enough to everyones liking, i’m a laid back kind of person mixed with being sometimes energetic when either really excited or for no reason at all.

That energetic version of me as wondered off somewhere though and I don’t know when it is she’ll be back, but I do hope she returns soon. Until then, i’ve been accompanied by this calm, yet overly anxious kind of version of myself, if that makes sense……..I stay to myself a lot of the time and I don’t really go out much, lately I just sit in my room and write all the time and I do some videos and edit them here and there. A lot of people sure have taken notice though when it comes to me staying to myself a lot of the time, to them it seems like i’m doing nothing and all I do is stay in my room and okay the room thing is true, i’m not gonna lie with that, but when it comes to the nothing part, well that’s not entirely true, I may not do a whole lot like everyone else, but it doesn’t mean that i’m not doing my best and being productive or anything. 

In my evening page, I talked about how there’s a difference between me and a turtle and that difference is a turtle has a whole lot more determination then I do. I mean in the story the turtle and the hare, we all know that the hare thought it was gonna easily win the race just because it was faster and quicker then it’s competitor, he took so many breaks, while the turtle just continued on pushing and kept on going, not once did it give up, even when the hare was in the lead a lot of the time…….in the end though, we find out that the winner of the race was the turtle, because of his/her persistence and willing to keep going no matter what anyone else thought.

I could definitely learn a lot from the turtle when it comes to persistence and determination, I know nothing’s a race, but sometimes it’s hard not see everything as one when everything around you seems to be moving at full speed and you have people who are doing so much and then you look at yourself wondering what it is you’re doing wrong and yeah, maybe that’s not the best way to look at things. I should be happy and proud of where i’m at in my life or with what i’m doing, even if other people tell me i’m not where I should be. No one should be able to tell you that you’re not where you should be though, only you should have that judgement, if you like where you are then you’re doing fine in life, but if you feel that you should be working just a little bit harder, than work a little bit harder, but do it because you want to, because it fills you with joy and because you want to be better, don’t do because everyone tells you, you’re not where you should be. 

I’m gonna do my best to keep this in mind as well whenever I become sad or unhappy with where i’m at in my life or questioning whether i’m doing everything alright, I realize I have a hard time taking my own advice when it comes to stuff like this and I know I need to do better at that, comparing myself to everyone else isn’t gonna do me any good. I need to keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong with doing things at a slower pace compared to how everyone else does it, yeah I’m a mixture of both the hare and the turtle, I feel i’ll always have that hare persona when it comes to wanting things to go super quickly, but I need to accept that my pace in doing things is a turtle way of doing things and learn to also appreciate the journey of it. 

Just because I do things a lot slower than most people, doesn’t mean I have to see it as a bad thing, I should be happy that i’m a turtle, because me having a bit of that persona means that if I just stay determine and keep going without worrying about everyone else’s input or just in general, I will eventually get to a place to where i’m happy with it fully and to where I can say i’m really proud of myself for not giving up.

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Kris Mikael Krister on Unsplash

Answering My Own Questions To My Last Post (Asked By JanBeek)

So I wrote a blog post the other day asking some random questions just to kinda get to know you guys a bit, see what kind of stuff you guys wanted to share. Now i’ll be honest didn’t quite get a lot of sharing happening, which I kinda expected to happen, but that’s okay. I did get one comment however, which was very nice, I was super happy that someone took the time to share their thoughts and answer the questions I left.

The comment that I got was from a very nice lady by the name of Jan Beek, she’s also a writer, I learned some pretty nice stuff from reading her comment, I learned that she use to be a clarinetist and about her love for classical music which was very nice to learn, because I too enjoy classical music from time to time. I also learned of a new artist name Jimmy Dorsey, I wasn’t sure whether i’ve heard of him or not so I went and looked him up and found out he was an American clarinetist back in the 1950’s, pretty cool right!? I thought it was cool.

There was a lot of other stuff I learned, like how she writes better by listening to the sound of her cuckoo clock, she explained how the rhythm of the clock helps her more with her writing which was very different, but also very interesting. I learned about her ideal workspace, what her muse is, uhhh, she talked about how she always wanted to have her own all-girl group back in the day, because with the band that she liked listening to, it was an all male group, there was a lot, it was very fascinating and I really enjoyed learning about her.

After she gave her answers, she then asked me what my answers were to my own questions, so I thought i’d share my answers as a post and give credit to her for the idea while also sharing a bit of her story with you guys. She’s a very lovely lady, but anyway let’s move on to my answers…….i’m not sure how this is gonna go, but we’ll soon see.

Okay here we go (I copied my questions here so I could answer them properly):

Question #1: For those who write, do you listen to music while your writing!? If so what’s your go to playlist or artist that you enjoy listening to, if you don’t listen to music are there any other things you like to have as background noise or do you just enjoy no background noise at all when you write!?

I do listen to music when I write, not always though, i’d say most times maybe…….sometimes though I won’t even have music playing in the background, i’ll just write in complete silence, while listening to my own voice as i’m typing what I want to say. I feel it helps when i’m saying what i’m writing out loud, because then i’m able to get everything out to where it makes sense you know!?

My go to playlist for when I write, is actually a playlist I mention before called Jukebox Typewriter…….I haven’t listened to it in a while though, lately i’ve been listening to one of my favorite bands that I also mentioned PVRIS, ummm i’ve written to their songs before, I just listen to anything that gets me into the mood of writing really.

Question #2: If you were in a band, what would you name your band, what would the genre of your music be and if you had to pick anyone (favorite artist, friends ect…) to be in it, who would you chose and what instruments would you have them play!?

Okay I might’ve reached the hardest question that I asked you guys……*takes a deep breath and then releases* Alright here we go……if I had a band what would I name it!? It’s funny I use to always think about this when I was younger, uhhh…….gee I don’t know……..I think if I were to have a band, i’d probably name it something random, you know to kinda go with my personality (hmmm actually that’s not a bad name) if I ever go making a band though, i’ll let you guys know what i’ve named it haha.

What would the genre be!? I feel with me as a person, i’d probably would go with like a mixture of pop, but with the feel of country music added to it or some kind of sound that fits more with me. I love and enjoy music so much, I always do my best to give everything a chance, but i’ve always been drawn to meaningful kind of music, I love songs with meaning and to where I can relate to the lyrics, however if I like the feel to a song and I feel it’s the right kind of catchy to me, I can jam with it too.

When it comes to the people I would have in my band and the instruments they’d play!?i’m not sure, whoever wanted to join in and be apart of it would be great and whatever instrument they choose to play would be up to them, however I wouldn’t mind having a piano player and a person who plays the guitar (preferably acoustic) because those are my two favorite kind of instruments to listen to, there’s just something about them.

Question #3: If you had to create the perfect (in your book) workspace whether you’re a writer, artist (musician, drawer, painter ect…) maybe you want a space just for reading, how would you create that space!?

If I was writing and I had to make up my ideal workspace I would like it to have a cozy feel to it, you know a place where I could not only write, but also escape to if I needed to de stress or relax a bit. Maybe also have a nice view to something, like a wide backyard or just something that when I look at it, I feel calm. I’d also go with a space where I could hang some paintings or posters, as well as have spaces for books while listening to my favorite kind of music and have it be a place where I could get lost in for a while.

Question #4: If you had a muse to write about (it doesn’t have to be writing, it can be anything) What would it be and how would you describe it!? 

Okay remember when I said the band one was hard, yeeeeeah I think this one might top it………if I had a muse to write about, it would be between maybe music and the feeling of it or maybe about love. I’ve had a few muses before, to where I was inspired to write about them, but if I had to pick a muse…….hmmmm…….I feel it would all be based on how i’m feeling in the moment, It could be about love, music, a favorite artist of mine, anything that resonates with me in the moment, so a bit of everything i’d say, I hope that makes sense.

Question #5: If someone came to you and said “Hey I need some advice” what kind of advice do you think they’d ask for knowing your own personality and how would you give them that advice!?

Last question okay here we go……..

I give a lot of advice, so if someone were to say “hey could you give me some advice” knowing how I am, I probably would give them advice on topics like……..Progress and growing, learning to believe in yourself as well as taking care of yourself when you need to, just you know, life stuff I guess. I’m not the best advice giver, but I always try my best to give the best advice that I can.

Which is weird because i’m still learning things as i’m going along and sometimes with advice you can give it to someone, but not really take it in yourself. There’s a saying that goes “You should take your own advice” when it comes to taking in your own advice, that can be hard, because it’s like some of us are able to give advice easily to people, but when it comes to taking it in yourself it’s different for some reason.

I guess when you give the advice, it may reach the person you’re telling, but that advice might come back to you a little later for you to take in. it’s hard to wrap your head around, but it’s how it is sometimes. Going back to the part though where I ask how would I give that advice, I’d just do my best to help whoever i’m giving advice to on whatever the topic happens to be about. I think it’ll always just be about doing your best and doing all you can to make sure you’re happy and going with what fits you, i’m still learning to take my own advice and everything, i’m not perfect, no ones perfect really, but I do try and that’s all I can really do.

I hope all of this was okay JanBeek and to everyone else reading this, if anyone else want to answer the questions I have, it’s there, but a big thank you to Jan for sharing her answers with me and being the inspiration or muse to today’s blog post, it really means a lot so thank you again. She has a blog site if you want to check her out, you should, she’s lovely, you can find her site here: Show Jan Some Love and Support!!

Anyway, I hope you all have a great night/morning and or evening ^_^

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

 

Featured Photo By: Suhyeon Choi on Unsplash

Let’s Ask Some Questions Shall We: I’ll Be The Interviewer

Now you’re probably wondering where i’m going with this, hear me out!! So i’ve been watching some moments and interviews of one of my favorite bands i’ve talked about them on here before, you may remember them as the band PVRIS, I talked about how I became a fan of theirs and also about their album White Noise, if you want to read that post you can find it here: Artist Of The Month: PVRIS (Take One White Noise Album And How I Became A Fan On The Band….Sorry If That’s Cheesy)

So I was watching some of their stuff this morning and I guess it kinda gave me an idea, I actually thought about this a while ago, when I was trying to figure out what to write about and this came to mind, so I thought i’d try it out and see how it could go. I’m hoping it goes well and I’m able to learn a little bit about you guys and you could learn a bit about me if you want and just kinda make this fun, get to know each other a bit, try something new you know, it doesn’t hurt to try right!?

So i’m gonna think of 5 different questions, random question and for those reading this if you want to answer them, great, if not that’s fine as well, it’s totally up to you, I just wanted to try something different and bring something fun to you all that I really hope that you enjoy.

Here are my 5 questions for you: 

Question #1: For those who write, do you listen to music while your writing!? If so what’s your go to playlist or artist that you enjoy listening to, if you don’t listen to music are there any other things you like to have as background noise or do you just enjoy no background noise at all when you write!?

Question #2: If you were in a band, what would you name your band, what would the genre of your music be and if you had to pick anyone (favorite artist, friends ect…) to be in it, who would you chose and what instruments would you have them play!?

Question #3: If you had to create the perfect (in your book) workspace whether you’re a writer, artist (musician, drawer, painter ect…) maybe you want a space just for reading, how would you create that space!?

Question #4: If you had a muse to write about (it doesn’t have to be writing, it can be anything) What would it be and how would you describe it!?

And Lastly:

Question #5: If someone came to you and said “Hey I need some advice” what kind of advice do you think they’d ask for knowing your own personality and how would you give them that advice!?

Those are all my questions, that I have for you guys, hopefully their decent questions, if any of you do look at this and consider answering them, I look forward to reading them and seeing what kind of stuff you come up with, their not really anything super special, but I thought this would be a good way to interact with some of you.

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

 

Featured Photo By: Dariusz Sankowski on Unsplash