How To Title A Post That’s Filled With Emotions…

I have a lot of feelings at the moment that I’m trying to hold in, I wish we didn’t always have to feel as though we need to be strong, It would be nice to just let emotions out without worrying everyone close to you or where you’re being questioned about it! Unfortunately though, that’s not possible…..if I was the kind of person to not be bothered with expressing my emotions, you’d always know what I was feeling, but I’m not that person, I only share my true feelings with those that I’m really close to and even then am I wary of that…..I don’t do well with my emotions, it’s hard for me to really say what I mean without my eyes being overflown with water trying to escape, for someone that’s an Earth sign, I sure got a lot of water in me!

I’m an emotional person and I guess that comes with being an Earth sign and feeling everything deeply, a lot of the time it’s more frustrating then anything, when you’re an emotional person like I am, you feel you always need to hide yourself, because being around others when you know that you may start having a breakdown or just randomly start bursting into tears is anxiety inducing then being someone whose always angry…..I always feel I need to go somewhere that will allow me to just be at my most vulnerable, somewhere that’s quiet and won’t judge me for feeling the way I do and allow me to just let that side of me out!

I guess that’s why I love nature so much because I can be me regardless to what feelings I’m feeling! You don’t ever have to worry about hurting someone or lie to people about being fine when you’re actually not! It’d be good to actually be able to not care, but when you’re someone who cares deeply about everything, you’ll realize that not caring isn’t apart of your nature nor vocabulary…..I can say I don’t care, but inside that’s not how I actually feel, I care even when I try not! It’s the people that care too much that always feels the most and that find themselves getting caught in shit that they weren’t even supposed to be around for…..

You can have the most tough exterior known to man, but if you have just a hint of that nature side to you, just a hint of empathy…..no amount of armor can keep you from hiding away from your emotional side…you can keep it calm yeah, but there’s only so much you can do before you find yourself getting overwhelmed and watching as the tide slowly start coming over you and once that happens…..there’s nothing you can do to stop it because whether you want it to or not, it will hit you and force you to observe that emotion and if you don’t observe it then it’ll keep hitting you until you end up accepting it and allow it to happen or just watch yourself drown from those emotions constantly!

It’s a lose/win/lose battle here, lose because everyone can almost always see it and you can’t really hide, win because you’re letting those feelings out and allowing them to be seen for what they are, which is always important, but it’s a losing battle because it’s something that is unavoidable, something that no matter how hard you try to put in the back of your mind, it will always find a way to make you see it, be it by just nudging you or giving you a whole wave of it just so you can’t ignore what’s really rising under the surface!

I want to be the one to say I’m okay, but I wrote this post for a reason even though it took a lot in me to keep my emotions at bay, but in reality the truth of the matter is I’m sad, but I don’t want anyone to know, yet here I am writing about it and talking about emotions! I’m full of nerves, because I’m feeling emotional and I’m frustrated because I know that although I’m fine at the moment, my emotional side will show it’s face again and because I know myself on that aspect it’s going to be hard to calm it down when it does get too overwhelming for me…..

Just to clarify, this is my way of acknowledging my emotions and being aware to the way I’ve been feeling today, I haven’t cried yet, which is good for me, I’ve come close to it quiet a few times while I was writing all of this, but I’m trying to keep the calm as best as I can, it’s been really hard though and although I’ve just written about being emotional and everything, I’m not going to talk about why, because that’s personal and I’ve not written this for it to make anyone feel a certain way, I just honestly needed to write this out because it was the only way I could get my words/thoughts out without it sounding weird!

I may be able to express on my feelings a lot better vocally, but I always feel when I write it down, it helps me to understand my own thoughts better and keeps me from worrying about whether I’ve said everything all right (Not saying I don’t still worry, it’s a habit that is hard to shake sometimes) but the fact that I was able to write this out, it helps me to feel a little better…..sorta

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

October Stress…

Happy Weekend Everyone! I hope that your day is going okay so far! I must say I’m a bit happy that this week is done and that we’ve entered the weekend….it’s been a long stressful anxious week and it’s not really been the greatest! If I’m being honest I’m still feeling quite anxious and a little overwhelmed, I thought it would go away, but no, it’s still there ha! It’s just been a really shit week and I don’t normally swear, but it’s how I feel, but I’m doing by best to try and make the most out of these days and keep positive in the best way I’m able to….key word trying….!

I normally don’t like talking about the way I’m feeling, but I don’t know how else to handle these emotions that have just come out of nowhere for me, since yesterday all I’ve been wanting to do is cry, my Anxiety has been up the wall and the sucky part is I really don’t know why…..scratch that there’s a few reasons, but I choose not to share upon them, but other than part of the reason, the other parts I really don’t know….all I know is I’ve just been feeling super stressed out this week and I’m trying to keep my emotions under control, but it’s becoming very hard….I don’t know if maybe sharing these feelings this way will help me to calm down a bit, I’m hoping it does, maybe that’s what I need a good expression session!

October has been very odd, it started off okay and not that bad, except for a couple of things and now it just feels like everything is going all over the place, so much is happening and I guess it’s happening super quickly and that’s why I’m feeling overwhelmed by it all, I’m not used to everything going by super quickly, I thought I was handling it pretty well and maybe I was, but all the craziness and just everything has started catching up to me, but I’m trying to stay calm! I’m trying not to lose control of it, because I know that if I do, it’s just going to get worst and I don’t want that to happen!

So I’m trying to keep my feet planted even if I do get pushed back a bit…I know I got to keep them planted and keep going, it’s the only way things will get better….I got a trip coming up in literally a week now and although I feel excited about it, I’m also very nervous and as much as I don’t want to be nervous I am…..I guess part of me is just hoping that it all goes well, it’s a long of way as I’ll be going to visit my partner finally being able to see him after a very long while…..not only that, but I’ll be seeing something completely new…..which is a bit scary, I mean anything new is quite scary really, but I’m excited because at least I’ll be able to see him….it doesn’t mean I’m not still nervous though! There’s just so much going on in my head and they’re all just combining together to the point where it’s just an overwhelming feeling and it’s the only feeling that I can seem focus on at the moment!

I’m just tired, but I’m still going to do my best to push through it as best as I can, I’m just hoping that the upcoming week is better than this past week and that there’s at least a good amount of fresh air to be inhaled, but for the time being I feel I just need to hold my breath or catch my breath even, before heading into the next few days coming…..I really hope that you guys are having a much better day and weekend…..it’s been quite the month and we’re just getting ready to wrap it all up, one thing I will say is…I do feel slightly better, not quite, but a bit, but hey I’ll take it and I’ll keep trying to make the most of these next few days, you guys take care!

By the way my latest podcast episode is up, if you guys want to check it out, you have a good rest of the day!

Animal Crossing Direct Thoughts (Part 1) Ep. 44 Daydreamer's Podcast

Happy Weekend Everyone! I hope that you had a good day! For today's episode, we are discussing a bit about last week's Animal Crossing Direct that happened on the 15th of October! As you can see this is just part 1, last Friday was quite the surprise with Nintendo announcing what we'll be getting on the update next month and I'm just so excited and cannot wait for it all!! 

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Let’s Talk Procrastination (July 10, 2019)

Originally Written July 9th

Procrastination can seem all well and great, but the more you put something off, the more you’ll wish you would’ve done it earlier, take homework for example why were most of us so keen on putting it off so much!? I mean yeah I get it, it wasn’t always fun and it was a bit annoying having to bring home work, I mean we could’ve easily just done it in school.

Maybe that’s why people went to study hall (study period for some) or tried doing their work during lunch hour so they wouldn’t have to worry about doing the work at home, but even if we had to take work back home, what was so wrong with getting it done when we knew we had it!? Why did we always make a big fuss and always see it as some chore all the time!?

Had we just gotten it done when we needed it to be, I don’t think the stress with having to do it would’ve been so bad, but because it’s easier to put things off for later, we don’t think of it as being that big of a deal, because in our minds if we don’t get to it now, we’ll get to it eventually….

Only when it does come around to “eventually” by that time we would’ve already forgotten about it, at least until it starts to kick in that we were meant to do something and later remember what that something was, which then causes us to go into panic mode, to where we then stress even more about it…..yeah okay, we probably would’ve still stressed about it,

However our stress levels would’ve most likely been way lower if we got it all out the way first, instead of dealing with it last……but this isn’t just about homework i’m talking about, that was just an example, procrastinating things in your day to day life also leaves you to stress……

We all know life is already stressful no matter how we may try to look at it, so why add more stress then the stresses life already has to it!? We’ve all procrastinated, i’ll admit i’m probably one of the biggest procrastinators you’ll ever know and or meet, which is why i’m writing about this……

Well that and I heard someone mention homework off a video I watched yesterday and it had me thinking about why it is that we always used to or still try our best to put it off so much…….

We may think it’s not a problem and that it’s fine to procrastinate and sometimes it is when you know you need a little break off something, that being said however, it can get pretty stale after a while if you procrastinate too much (believe me) eventually all that leaving for later will start to weigh on you, causing much more to be done than what you originally started with, leaving you to feel way more overwhelmed, which will have you really wanting to put things off for sure.

Now you’re left mentally and sometimes even emotionally and physically crashing all the time……my point is…..maybe if we procrastinated a little less, we probably would get so much more done, as well as feel so much better for it, knowing we got to it earlier instead of waiting to do it later.

By doing that it gives us more time to relax, getting rid of most of the worries and stresses in our minds……I must say though, some people do thrive more on leaving things for later, but to each their own I guess, as long as it’s in a healthy way, I guess it’s alright…..

P.S. Before you say it, no I was not procrastinating on this post, I was just looking it over…..an extra day…..

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Write Like Yourself…. (July 4, 2019)

They say to write like yourself, but what does that even mean exactly!? How are you supposed to write like yourself!? It should be an easy thing to understand, yet when it comes to doing so, it feels hard, am I the only one that feels that way!?

Do you write about your feelings or your thoughts!? Most people might say experience, but what if you haven’t really experienced much in particular or aren’t sure on how to write about the things you’ve experienced!? What if you’ve always been the kind of person looking from the outside in with everything, not really knowing what to do or how to react, causing you to feel like expressing yourself is something you should keep to yourself…..

I don’t know if any of that makes much sense, but seriously how do you write like yourself, when you aren’t even sure if what you’re going to write about is something that’s going to make sense or will be understood properly!? It’s just a little confusing when you’re told to write like yourself, yet aren’t really sure in what way, it’s mean’t to mean…….

Write what you feel, write what you think, yet you know that when it come to writing as well as any other showcasing of things, we like doing it’s not just for you, we’re not just creating and sharing for ourselves, maybe in the moment we are, but once it’s out there, it becomes more than just our own.

It’s there for everyone to see and take in, which of course is very intimidating, that kind of thing might make you feel as if what you’re doing already isn’t quite working and than you become stressed and overwhelmed because you want to know what else you could do to make what you already have better, yet you aren’t exactly sure how to do so….

“Write like yourself” how do you know you’re doing that right!? How do you know you’re putting the right thoughts into motions without it seeming as if your rambling or not making sense……how do you know if everything is coming across alright!? “Write like yourself” you guys know what that means because if so, you got any tips to help me understand it better!?

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~