Tag: Nerves

Do What You Like, Be Free To Be Whatever!

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

This is probably one of the most cheesiest titles you’ve read or maybe not….if I’m being honest this title is a combination of two different lyrics from two different songs, both favorites of mine and by two artists that I admire! The first part of the title come from the song Living In Colour by non other than my all time favorite artist Alexz Johnson while the other part, kind of comes from the song No Regrets by an artist named Dappy at least it’s inspired by it anyway….I don’t know how many people know of either artist, but Alexz Johnson has always been one of my favorites since the moment I saw her show Instant Star, it was then I knew I found an artist I was going to listen to forever!

As for Dappy, I was introduced to his music by my partner whose a really big fan of his, the first song he ever had me listen to by Dappy was called Money Can’t Buy, it’s a love song of course, but it’s an amazing song and one of my other favorites!! Now Dappy isn’t just a singer he also raps too and comes from the UK, he also had this group called N-Dubs which had him, his cousin Tulisa and a friend of his I believe named Fazer who happens to rap as well! Now I’m not here to talk about these two artists, although they are great and their music is always a pleasure to listen to, I just wanted to explain the title name…..however I should point out that the actual lyrics to Dappy’s No Regrets is “I’m Free To Be Whatever I….”following a few bar flows after those lyrics!

What I really wanted to talk about is what I mean with the title I have there, well I will do my best to explain it at least! Now to me, both these lyrics have an encouragement feel to them, “Do what you like” by Alexz Johnson meaning “go for it” while the actual lyrics to Dappy’s song No Regrets ” I’m free to be whatever I…” that one goes more on the fact of having that freedom to do, well going back to the first song, pretty much whatever you like, being whoever it is you choose to be and allowing yourself to have the confidence to say “this is my life and I will decide how I want to live it” it’s letting you know to go after anything you believe in and are truly wanting without those regrets in the back of your mind, where you’re asking yourself “what if”

Keeping the what if’s in your head will always make you feel like, you have to just go with what’s there, but life isn’t about being okay with that, you have to be okay with change no matter how scary it is…..you don’t want to sit back and think to yourself “I didn’t, I should’ve, maybe” We always hear how short life is and the thing with it is, we think because we are still here doing the things we’re doing and getting to certain ages that it’s not really short, but it actually is….because you can walk past someone and that day their fine, but when you go to see them again….something is different and then next thing you know….you’re no longer seeing them!!

It’s a frightening scary thing and it’s something I don’t like to think about, but when you really look at it, it really does say a lot….we’re always worrying about everything, but that’s because we’re feeling things that we don’t even understand sometimes…..but it comes with the experience of life, but life is also meant to be experienced, you’re meant to be inspired, to be entertained and say “woah I’ve never seen that before or let alone known that it could exist” You’re meant to explore and feel different things, in different ways then imagined!!

There’s a lot of fear that is hard to shake within us, I have a few fears myself and one of them used to be change, I didn’t like things changing, I liked being safe and comfortable, I always thought that I wanted everything to stay the same, until eventually I witness change happening around me, forcing me to become uncomfortable and really see things differently and before I knew it…..I started to change and I saw how me changing and wanting different started to effect people around me!

I was always a certain way and when I stopped being that certain way and being vocal about it….it wasn’t well received, but I knew that it needed to happen because had it not happened, I would’ve still been in that situation…..the older I get the more I’m realizing how important it is to really go after what it is you want and not be afraid or feel bad for wanting those things, we’re allowed to want things, we’re allowed to say “hey this is what I’m doing, it’s okay that you don’t agree or like it, but I’m doing it anyway” it may be a scary thing to do, but it’s better to be brave and do it while shaking the nerves away, then to not do it and stress yourself out about it and how you should’ve done it….it’s okay to take that breath if needed, but if you find yourself feeling something like this lately then you may just want to consider some of these words

You don’t necessarily have to, but if you know there’s something in your heart that you would like to do and have been thinking about for a while, it really doesn’t hurt to give it a go and try, the only thing that will happen is that you’ll find yourself growing more and possibly enjoying yourself as you experience that new thing that is speaking to you!

That’s all I want to say, hope you all have a good rest of the day, stay safe and take care!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

How To Title A Post That’s Filled With Emotions…

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I have a lot of feelings at the moment that I’m trying to hold in, I wish we didn’t always have to feel as though we need to be strong, It would be nice to just let emotions out without worrying everyone close to you or where you’re being questioned about it! Unfortunately though, that’s not possible…..if I was the kind of person to not be bothered with expressing my emotions, you’d always know what I was feeling, but I’m not that person, I only share my true feelings with those that I’m really close to and even then am I wary of that…..I don’t do well with my emotions, it’s hard for me to really say what I mean without my eyes being overflown with water trying to escape, for someone that’s an Earth sign, I sure got a lot of water in me!

I’m an emotional person and I guess that comes with being an Earth sign and feeling everything deeply, a lot of the time it’s more frustrating then anything, when you’re an emotional person like I am, you feel you always need to hide yourself, because being around others when you know that you may start having a breakdown or just randomly start bursting into tears is anxiety inducing then being someone whose always angry…..I always feel I need to go somewhere that will allow me to just be at my most vulnerable, somewhere that’s quiet and won’t judge me for feeling the way I do and allow me to just let that side of me out!

I guess that’s why I love nature so much because I can be me regardless to what feelings I’m feeling! You don’t ever have to worry about hurting someone or lie to people about being fine when you’re actually not! It’d be good to actually be able to not care, but when you’re someone who cares deeply about everything, you’ll realize that not caring isn’t apart of your nature nor vocabulary…..I can say I don’t care, but inside that’s not how I actually feel, I care even when I try not! It’s the people that care too much that always feels the most and that find themselves getting caught in shit that they weren’t even supposed to be around for…..

You can have the most tough exterior known to man, but if you have just a hint of that nature side to you, just a hint of empathy…..no amount of armor can keep you from hiding away from your emotional side…you can keep it calm yeah, but there’s only so much you can do before you find yourself getting overwhelmed and watching as the tide slowly start coming over you and once that happens…..there’s nothing you can do to stop it because whether you want it to or not, it will hit you and force you to observe that emotion and if you don’t observe it then it’ll keep hitting you until you end up accepting it and allow it to happen or just watch yourself drown from those emotions constantly!

It’s a lose/win/lose battle here, lose because everyone can almost always see it and you can’t really hide, win because you’re letting those feelings out and allowing them to be seen for what they are, which is always important, but it’s a losing battle because it’s something that is unavoidable, something that no matter how hard you try to put in the back of your mind, it will always find a way to make you see it, be it by just nudging you or giving you a whole wave of it just so you can’t ignore what’s really rising under the surface!

I want to be the one to say I’m okay, but I wrote this post for a reason even though it took a lot in me to keep my emotions at bay, but in reality the truth of the matter is I’m sad, but I don’t want anyone to know, yet here I am writing about it and talking about emotions! I’m full of nerves, because I’m feeling emotional and I’m frustrated because I know that although I’m fine at the moment, my emotional side will show it’s face again and because I know myself on that aspect it’s going to be hard to calm it down when it does get too overwhelming for me…..

Just to clarify, this is my way of acknowledging my emotions and being aware to the way I’ve been feeling today, I haven’t cried yet, which is good for me, I’ve come close to it quiet a few times while I was writing all of this, but I’m trying to keep the calm as best as I can, it’s been really hard though and although I’ve just written about being emotional and everything, I’m not going to talk about why, because that’s personal and I’ve not written this for it to make anyone feel a certain way, I just honestly needed to write this out because it was the only way I could get my words/thoughts out without it sounding weird!

I may be able to express on my feelings a lot better vocally, but I always feel when I write it down, it helps me to understand my own thoughts better and keeps me from worrying about whether I’ve said everything all right (Not saying I don’t still worry, it’s a habit that is hard to shake sometimes) but the fact that I was able to write this out, it helps me to feel a little better…..sorta

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Bursting Energy…..

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Happy Friday! Hope you’re all doing well this fine afternoon…..I got a bit of too much energy right now as I’m writing this and I’m not quite sure how to handle it, I feel good today, I feel a lot better than these past 2 days, the only thing is, I just don’t know what to do with myself with this amount of energy, I don’t want to use it all in one go, I would like to pace it better, but I’m finding myself slowly draining it by each super thought that fills me with excitement or just by thinking too much about things….not in a bad way, but just by like I said getting myself excited with ideas and looking forward to things, for example I’ve got 2 podcast episodes that I’m eager to do that will be coming in the next week or 2, they’re both childhood related and I’m excited to put my thoughts on them after so long, you’ll know about them in due time don’t worry!

Now as for the other thing that always tends to leave me excited when thinking about it, is something that I find myself going back to, that I want to try, that I have yet to try my hand at, I always think about it, but I’ve not yet decided on fully giving it a go even when I do feel it! Recently I’ve been researching on it more and every time I do, I get both happy and nervous about it, but I don’t know I just feel it to be something that keeps kind of calling to me to check it out, I just get nervous!

Although, I always on occasion and if not that, then here and there looking more and more into it and I feel like it’s a good time to see about it and see if I can find myself getting used to a lot, again I just get nervous thinking about it because I don’t know if I’ll be good at it, but then I think well I won’t know unless I give it a try and it’s not something that I need to be serious about in a sense of I can just be me and do it how I feel it to naturally come out, it’s just a nervous feeling one reason being because it’ll require me to show my face again and not just my voice which is something that I haven’t quite done in the past few months and it’s one of the reasons I haven’t decided on it just yet.

I know I’m still becoming more comfortable with my voice and so combining the two is a bit nerve-racking for me, I just get very uncomfortable in front of a camera, even though I’ve done it plenty before, but regardless to if it’s been so long or not it still takes me time to adjust when in front of a camera, part of me doesn’t mind it, but there’s also a part of me that would rather not, yet I also find myself thinking about doing it again…..I’m a weird one okay, I’ve accepted it!

I’m also very expressive though, when I’m passionate about something I either talk with my hands or I move my whole body and this even happens when I’m writing, I can’t help it lol! I’m considering it very thoroughly though it’s always in the back of my mind, I feel like if it was something that I felt strongly to do where it kept coming to me…..I’d pick a random day that felt good to do it and then tell you about it after I’ve done it and that’s how you know I went for it by being very curious and then saying you know what “let’s try it” Prepare yourself because that just might happen!

P.S.

I uploaded another episode to my Podcast yesterday so I’m just updating this post to share it, it’s a bit of a weird episode somewhat, but I feel there may be charm with it, possibly lol, if you would like to check it out you can find it here: Let’s Talk: Months & Animal Crossing (Friday Mood) You can also listen to it on Spotify as well!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Ice Breaker….

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Helloooo fellow listeners….my name is Alexa….although I prefer to be called by my nicknames which are either Lex or Lexa, whichever one is fine!! Reasons!? Well I just prefer it to my actual full name….Alexa just seems a bit weird to me so that’s why I like being called by my nicknames…..now I am aware that most likely no ones listening to this at the moment, which is fine, this is pretty much just an intro anyway, so it’s not like I’m expecting anyone to tune in right away, we’re golden don’t worry!!

Since this is considered an Ice breaker, let’s talk about breaking the ice for a moment, shall we!? Why is so hard and nerve-wrecking when it comes to sharing something for the first time, why do we get so tongue tied with these kind of things!? It’s a mystery in itself really, it’s not like we’re doing anything extreme, we’re just chatting and sharing things that we care about right!? So why do we need to get nervous for…..I guess if we’re looking at it in a different perspective, we may try to understand it better, even the smallest things can make us nervous, why you may ask!? Who knows, it’s probably just the process of thing.

You may ask, how do you become a master of ice breaking, what’s the best way of just going for it without thinking about it too much and just going for it!? Beats me….no I’m kidding! I’m sure there’s some way of doing it right, maybe!? The answer yes…..it’s just figuring out what works for you, what you feel to be the best way of going about. Maybe the best way for someone is to just the nerves come out naturally until you feel comfortable enough to go “alright I think I got it!!

Another way could be to just get lost in whatever your talking about and let it all flow that way, that sometimes works for me…..most times….one of the best examples of someone who was able to just go for it without much of a thought, the best improviser I could think of right away is Robin Williams! His improvisation for everything he did really, was just mind blowing….like how could someone so quickly get in the zone without knowing what they were going to say or how they were going to say it, how does one deliver such magic like that!? I guess it just comes from trusting yourself enough to know that whatever your doing, however you feel the need to express is going to work out well

A lot of us don’t trust ourselves enough the way we probably should, but who knows us better than us!? I mean even when we don’t know exactly, in some way or form we tend to always surprise ourselves in what we do…..maybe to be the best ice breaker is to just believe in ourselves more, trust that whatever we’re doing, whatever the path and journey that we’re on is the one we’re meant to follow, even if we tend to wonder and get lost along the way, I think if we just let it flow how it’s meant to, we’re going to be fine, it’s all about sticking with it, even when it feels it’s going a bit everywhere!!

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

P.S.

For those reading this, I thought I’d try doing this post a little differently, although yes, I’ve written the post I’m also going to be recording this in a podcast type way…..like what you’re probably hearing now, but maybe you’re not, because I’m not sure if this part will be added, I’m trying out the whole “make your post into a podcast” with Anchor by Spotify it’s my first one and I thought let’s try something different and see what happens, but first ones Ice breaker once I’ve recorded it and feel I like it enough, I’ll share the episode here with you guys…..let’s see how it goes!!

Update:

Podcast post created, most of what’s said is here, but there’s a little bit of extra stuff added as well, hope you enjoy: https://anchor.fm/lexa-marie3/episodes/Ice-Breaker-Blog-Post-et257u

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Self Promoting……

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Hi again, alright we’re doing this no if’s and’s or what’s about it……self promoting……first I just want to say WHY IS IT SO WEIRD!! I never understand why doing this is super odd, as I stated before in my last post if there’s something that you have that you want to share, why not just share it, why does it have to feel so weird, sharing things we feel good about!?

It’s funny i’m just remembering that I did attempt to write about this topic a long time ago, but you guys never saw it, because I didn’t share it…..ironic yeah!? You’d think that because we all have some sort of social media that it wouldn’t be a huge thing, but for some reason it is to some, including myself, why I have no idea, it should it be a big thing!? No, it is!? Sometimes……I mean at one point, I was always nervous to share on it, but later it just became a natural thing and it wasn’t as “yokes” you know!?

Now I have some sort of social media, I mean again everyone uses some sort of social media platform right!? So why is that we get that feeling of it being so odd and weird to promote things that we feel good about, when we’re all in a way, use to sharing things online!? It’s a mind boggling thing, I tell you, it really is weird!?…. I mean if there’s something you feel strongly about, we shouldn’t feel that, but I think no matter how use to it we are or maybe, there’s always going to be some kind of white line to where promoting something we’ve created because we felt like sharing in the moment, will always be the one thing that trips us up to feeling like that.

Now although, self promoting can feel and become a little intimidating because we’re sharing and expressing things we care about, that shouldn’t keep us from still wanting to share, even if people don’t look at it right away and even if we do still feel and get weird about it, that’s okay, everyone gets nervous and it’s not always easy to put ourselves out there especially when creating, but as long as we don’t allow or let the discouragement get to us, who cares if it feels weird, if we need to get the nerves out, why not!?

Hey if it helps maybe we should laugh at ourselves so it doesn’t seem so bad, I think the main thing is, no matter how weird or odd it can be to share the things we want to share, as long as we continue to share regardless to how it feels, then it’ll be alright and it’s okay if we end up being weirdos about it.

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Soooo I Did Something…..

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After giving it a good amount of thought, I finally decided to go forth with something I had in mind for a while, I decided to start fresh and make a whole new channel, youtube channel, again it took a good amount of thought, I wasn’t completely sure on it when trying to decide, before deciding I thought about adding to the one I already had, but I felt that it would just be everywhere and I just felt the need to start something completely new away from that one, I still have it, I have all the ones i’ve made…..yeah I have 4 now……the last one was suppose to be the last one,

but yeah that changed……I really wanted to have something different with this one, which is why I went on and created a new one, kinda based around the blog actually, well it has the same name as the blog, I wanted to express in another way, so whenever i’m not really writing much, i’m sharing some stuff to be important in the moment and sometimes when you have a lot you feel like saying, it’s kinda hard to write it all, I mean you think a post isn’t all that long, until you find yourself reading it back and realize “oh well that’s quite a lot of words happening there!!”

No, but I thought for days where i’m not in much of a writing mode, I could share all that I want in a short video and get it out a bit more better when i’m not quite sure how in writing and vice versa. Now I only have two videos at the moment, I tried to share it on here, but it wasn’t quite working properly to where you could see them, but I did share the new channel, you’ll find it with the socials, twitter ect….feel free to check it out whenever

I hope you enjoy them in someway, but anyway that is all I wanted to share with you guys, just a quick post, I hope you all had a good day and your weekends been well and all and I hope your nights been well too!!

New Channel: Life As A Daydreamer

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Deep Breath……

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, Uncategorized2 Comments

Okay so this going to sound pretty confusing to guys, at least for a moment, my brain is filled with a bit of pressure and i’m feeling a little nervous….alright a lot nervous, there’s been something that i’ve been at that I just started really trying at, i’ve been back and forth with it in my head at first for a good while and it wasn’t until yesterday where I stopped thinking about it let’s just say…….at this moment though, i’m a bit nervous to the point where i’m kinda sitting with it for a bit, really thinking about it……

It’s only until I feel alright to say “it’s time” I know trying to delay something isn’t probably the best choice to go with, but sometimes you need a moment to really take something in before you go again, you know!?…….I probably should just start going again, instead of trying to purposely stall, stalling doesn’t really work all that well, unless you’re having to stall someone else from entering a room or something, in that case it kinda works,

But if you’re trying to stall yourself…….you’re not really helping yourself all that well are ya!? Guess not……I should probably get moving soon, let me go grab a sweater or jacket in case it’s get a little chilly……what!? I’m not stalling if that’s what you’re wondering, this weather is just unpredictable these days, gotta be prepared, is all……alright, alright i’m going!!……

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Alright Okay, Okay Alright….

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These are the words that i’ve been saying to myself today so i’m going to use it as a title to this post, reason you ask!? Well i’m feeling slightly on edge today, i’m pretty much everywhere let’s just say and i’m rhyming wow can you believe that!? I’m having to keep myself extra focus even though i’m not having really much to focus on and that’s why i’m having a little trouble keeping my thoughts centered……..

I’ve been thinking again about careers not too intensively, but just slightly deep thinking about what i’d really like to do you know!? I’m going to try and keep this from sounding like another frustration kind of post, because I want to be able to think about this and work it out calmly without bringing my stress levels up and feeling anxious.

Which I already started to feel, the anxious feeling, stress not that much, but I know it’s standing in the background somewhere, as for my nerves well they’re mixing all around my stomach at the moment so i’m feeling very breathy today, you know trying to keep myself from going over the meter, not sure if breathy is a word, if not well it is for this post (it actually is a word I looked it up) i’m calm though don’t worry, i’m just in thought is all……I know they say to not think about it too hard, I try not to, but it’s just hard not to want to at least have something in mind, know where you’re possibly going…..I guess it’s just been one of those days, i’m alright now.

I hate the whole feeling on edge kind of days, it leaves you feeling like you need to be doing a million and one things and has your head just running all over the place, it’s just hard not to feel on edge when you’re still wandering and wondering where you’re going to be headed and whether your heading in the right direction at all…..

I know it’s no good worrying so much about it, the best we can do is just to keep moving even when we’re feeling edgy and unsure, but even if we are feeling that kind of way, we have to know and believe that things are going to be alright and that we will get where we’re suppose to go.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Almost A Year (July 1, 2019 Entry)

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So this summer is doing some speed by’s alright, we’ve finished with June and now we’re in the month of July, it’s insane how quick that’s gone, surprising, no, it tends to always happen that way, but it’s not going to stop us from saying ” Woah what the….that was quick” every time….

In a few more days it’ll be a year since creating this blog, how crazy is that huh!? If you were to ask me how I feel about it, well for one I wouldn’t be able to tell you exactly, let’s just say it’s not been easy!! I mean it hasn’t been extremely hard, but it hasn’t been a walk in the park either that’s just my experience with it anyway, i’m sure it’s not always like that for everyone.

I’m not going to really go into my blogging experience just yet, i’d like to wait until we get to a year of it first at least, this is just a small lead up to it. I know, I know, the anticipation right haha (no i’m kidding)

I’ve gotta admit though, i’m feeling a little nervous and anxious, not for the 1 year of blogging coming up or anything, for other reasons that I can’t really wrap my head around at the moment, when it comes to how i’m going to feel with it getting close to a year of blogging however,

I’m curious to know how exactly i’m going to feel that day, will I be anxious, excited or will I not have a specific reaction at all!? That is something we’ll have to wait and find out about won’t we!?

Now i’ve been thinking (it’s actually my specialty) seriously though, i’ve been thinking about ways to where I could make this blog better, not that i’m unhappy with it, I just always feel it could use something else to it, what exactly……that’s a good question actually!! I was thinking maybe a bit more personal or something, you know really let some emotions out, but then I think is that too much, should I not!?

I could also add more interest of things that i’d want to share on here, but I don’t quite know, it’s something i’ll have to really sit and think on, not overly, because I tend to have a habit of getting my brain all worked up because i’m stressing on things way more than I need to…….AS ALWAYS!!

It’s pretty much the story of my life if i’m being honest……anyone else out there feel that way!? Probably…..but anyway, with that I hope you guys are having a good Summer and your enjoying yourselves as well as your day and I hope you’re all doing well too!!

Before I sign off, I wanted to leave you all with a song of the day, I came up with something and was thinking whenever I write entries like this, i’ll add a song at the end so it doesn’t seem so bare, you know!?

Song Of The Day: Rescue By Hunter Hayes

This song is one of my favorites, it’s also one that i’ve been singing to myself again recently, so I thought hey why not share it, it’s a really good song, it’s a country song if you’re alright with that, not only are the lyrics great, but so is the music video for it, it’s quite artsy and inspiring depending on how you look at it……probably could’ve did a summer song to welcome July,

However I chose this song for a reason, it’s the type of song where if you’re feeling a bit low or are going through something, it let’s you know “hey it’s okay, i’m here for you and I understand the way you feel, cause I feel it too sometimes” so if you want to let some emotions out or you’re looking for a bit of comfort or just looking for a new song, it’s there for you!!

Also if you’re wanting to chat about anything, doesn’t have to be anything serious, could be random, feel free to share here, i’ll be more than happy to listen, signing off now, Happy July 1st everyone!! ^_^ (now the 2nd)

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

So Many Things…..

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Alright so, i’ve sorta maybe, okay definitely caught interest in something that I feel is good, there’s so many different things to it, but because there’s so many different things to it, I am on the fence on whether I should give it a go……I mean have you guys ever found yourself so intrigued and drawn to something, but at the same time you aren’t sure whether to continue to let yourself be drawn to that thing…….does that makes sense!?

It’s like you feel it’s something good and you feel like you should try it or embrace it, but then you have that something in you that’s like mmm should I, should I not!? I don’t know……

Anyone else get that feeling with certain things!? It’s like you feel it, but then you have all these nerves coming through and you’re like ahhhh I don’t know, but you also have that thing inside you that’s like “I mean you’re here and you have looked at it quite enough so why not!?”

It’s like a kid walking into a class for the first time, but being so scared and nervous because they aren’t sure how it’s going to go, so they kinda just stay to themselves until they feel comfortable enough you know!?

So many things…..I just don’t know…..Maybe!?…..I’ll figure it out…..

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~