Dreaming Of Recording….. Our Dreams Of Course!!

On December 18, 2019December 19, 2019 By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

You ever wish or wonder about getting to relook at your dreams!? By dreams I mean actual dream like the ones we wake up from, think about it, you’re going to bed, you have a dream and then you awake from that dream and say you aren’t able to remember it or you want to look at something specific that happened in your dream, what would you do!?

Well you’d grab your pillow and plug it up to your computer and see everything you dreamt about the night before, I mean how awesome would that be!? I think it would be pretty cool, it’s something I think about sometimes as well as wish to be able to do, you just fall asleep and all your dreams are recorded in someway through our pillows……..

We wouldn’t have to try and remember them, we’d be able to see them, it’d be nice to be able to select which ones we choose to see, maybe we didn’t have a great night’s sleep and that caused us to toss and turn giving us nightmares in the process, we can decided whether we want to view that dream or discard it, but if we do that we probably wouldn’t really understand why we had that dream to begin with, but some dreams don’t really need to be remembered right!?

Maybe instead of discarding them all together, we could put them in a separate folder or something and view them later to decide whether their worth keeping or not remembering at all, dreams are quite the…..how do you say…..weirdest experiences we can have when asleep, some dreams are there just to be there, some can be very useful when needing to understand why we have them and some don’t make any sense at all……

Those ones i’d though, i’d call hidden gems, some of them anyway, but dreams can tell you a lot without actually always telling you, but most of the time we don’t always get them, they can be quite the puzzle when you’re really trying to figure them out, dreams are so unexplainable that even scientists don’t really know why we have them, we just do and maybe that has to do with that fact that our brains are always active even when we’re not using it, it gives us things we don’t catch on to right away and tells us when we’re less active, but sometimes, somehow we get it and other times,

We’re still left with a big question mark over our heads, but hey I guess that’s the fun of it right!? Unless you’re the type that likes to truly understand everything then we might as well call you Sherlock Holmes.

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Just A Casual Post…..

On December 14, 2019December 15, 2019 By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

It’s almost 11pm where I am and I literally don’t have anything prepared to write today……it’s just been one of those casual days I guess you can say, so I didn’t really think about what I wanted to write today, I knew I wanted to write something, I just don’t know what…..I guess we’ll just have a chatting post today, unless something happens to pop out of nowhere becoming a topic as i’m writing along, in the meantime, let’s just chat!!

What about I have no clue, all I know is it’s around 10:40pm pretty close to midnight, but also not too close, just yet anyway, it’s almost…….I don’t even have a title ready, normally I write that first, but I decided to write what I wanted before titling this post, it’s not like it’s the first time though, it happens from time to time, it’s just been a while since i’ve done that.

So how are you guys!? I don’t think i’ve ever asked you that in a whole post before, I know i’ve said I hope you all are doing well, but never how are you!? It doesn’t seem all that weird though……I hope everything’s going alright and that the week and weekend have been good for you!! If you had a rough day or week, I hope you pulled through it okay, I know some days are harder than most, but I hope you’re all doing alright!!

I really don’t know where i’m going with this post, i’m kinda just talking and I guess trying to start conversation, I know it’s probably not all that interesting, but I mean I hope it’s okay!? Maybe i’ll just stop while i’m ahead, hopefully I have a better post for you guys lined up tomorrow….

Sorry for it being so short, but I hope you enjoyed it somehow, I hope you all have a goodnight and day if it’s daytime, not sure where you guys are exactly, but I hope you’re having a good one wherever you are!!

P.S. It’s now 11pm, well it will be when I post this

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Evening Pages (Nov 21, 2018)

On November 22, 2018 By Daydreamer LexIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Do you ever just observe something just for the heck of it!? I do it all the time, not exactly sure why that is, there’s just something about really looking at something, I know that may sound very weird and all, but for me I find it to be very soothing at times, it can also be very calming and relaxing as well. I like to observe this little bracelet I have, the reason being is because of the way it looks, it’s very simple and unique to me, that being said though, it broke a while ago, but I didn’t want to get rid of it, now I know you’re probably saying why keep a bracelet that’s broken!? Right you are with that question, the reason I haven’t gotten rid of it is because I just like looking at it.

It’s a Lokai bracelet and for some reason whenever i’m overthink about something or just in deep thought, I find myself lately admiring and observing it a lot more these days, sure it’s broken and all and yeah I can’t wear it, but I can still hold it and move it around in my hand, it may seem weird to a lot of you, but I find it to be very calming when I mess with it. I’m sure we all have something we like messing with just for the heck of it or just when we feel we need to calm down a bit, sometimes just observing things can help you think better and keep you from stressing out a whole lot, even if it’s just for a little while, it’s also good for reflecting on things.

I know this one’s a very short post, I didn’t have much to say today, i’ve pretty much been in this mode all day, so much thinking, and less talking ha, I wrote a good amount of words in my writing journal earlier today if that counts, anyway I hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening, also for those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you enjoy the holiday and for those who don’t really celebrate it and it’s just another day, I hope you all enjoy your day, I just want to say that i’m super grateful to each and everyone of you guys, who take the time to read my posts and wanting to continue to follow along with them as well, you don’t know how much that means to me, I really appreciate it, thank you so much.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Photo by Matthijs van Schuppen on Unsplash

Why Do We Doubt Ourselves!? (Evening Pages Nov 14, 2018)

On November 15, 2018 By Daydreamer LexIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

So i’ve been trying to figure out what to write for a bit now, i’ve been writing in my writing journal, earlier I wrote a new evening page, it was on what was in my head this morning, I started to write another journal entry on something and the title I wrote here, is the same title I wrote in my writing journal. The question I ask is why when it comes to self doubt…….why is it that we doubt ourselves so much!? It seems like when we were younger, we had more confidence then we do now in ourselves, which is crazy to look back on, i’m sure a lot of us were super energetic, didn’t have a care in the world on anything, we just all did our own thing without having to worry about it.

It’s like the older you get, the things that you would normally feel confident about as a kid, you don’t feel as much getting older. Now i’m not saying everyone does that, i’m sure there’s a whole lot of people who were the same from a child to now. However most of us, we know what it’s like to change in order to meet peoples standards the older we get. If someone doesn’t like something we do, we change ourselves so that way they do like us better, we try and mold ourselves to everyones perception of us that when it comes to really looking at yourself in the mirror, it’s hard to know who you really truly are……..and when you try to break out of those molds, you find yourself getting backlash for it.

People see that you want to change and you know you want to change, because you feel that there’s just so much more to you then what meets the eye and you want to see what that is, but not everyone will see it the same as you and that’s something that not only they need to come to terms with, but you need to come to terms with yourself. Everyone will have their opinions, judgements and thoughts about it, but you…….you have to know that this change, this thing that you find yourself in the middle of, you have to know that it’s not all bad, sure it may seems like it, but it’s not. Everyone changes and not everyone is gonna be the same for long.

If you’re going through some kind of change, maybe it’s because you need the change because maybe the way you were and the things you did before…….maybe they just aren’t meant to be there forever with you, maybe they were just there for the moments that you needed it………I find myself wondering whether the person I am now this version of me, I wonder whether I went wrong with her or something and the thing is………I actually don’t feel like I did, I know i’m not the same as I was a few months ago, a few months ago I was happy, happier than i’ve ever been, me now……..i’m half kinda happy, but also half not fully completely happy and you’re probably thinking what does this have to do with self doubt!?

Well……..when you know that you’ve changed and that you just aren’t the same person everyone was used to and that you were use to, it makes you look back on a lot of things from the moments that you were, to how you are now and it makes you question, even when you feel like this new you, this new version of you might just do you good…….it will still have you question yourself and it will leave you to doubt yourself and if you’ve always been the kind of person to have issues with self doubt, whether that be in yourself, the decisions that you’ve made, it will still effect you.

Even when it does though, you just keep in mind that everyone changes, you included, you may not understand why and you may not like it at first, but eventually you’ll come to realize that you changing isn’t a bad thing, it’s far from it. The only thing that comes from change is new opportunities and a new kind of growth, so again, no matter how many judgements you get, keep in mind that when you start to doubt yourself when it comes to how you’re doing things and all that, know that you have nothing to worry about, because you’re doing fine, you just gotta keep going and eventually you’ll see that the change you’ve come across will only be for the better even if you think it wont.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Photo by Christian Holzinger on Unsplash

Today Marks 4 Months Of Me Blogging (Nov 11th, 2018)

On November 12, 2018November 12, 2018 By Daydreamer LexIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Hey everyone I hope you’re all doing well, i’m not quite sure how long this blog post is gonna be, I just wanted to share that today marks 4 months since I first started this blog!! I don’t really have a whole lot I want to say, I don’t think……..I started this back around the summer time (July 11th) when I wasn’t feeling the greatest and was a little lost on what it was that I wanted to do………when I was going through a lot, I turned to writing and I noticed that I was writing a lot more during my low times and I don’t know, I just had this thing come to me to where I thought to myself, “You know i’ve been writing a lot lately, maybe I should start a blog or something” and after that thought, the next day I did.

I remember being excited and nervous at the same time, because I wasn’t sure whether or not, I was gonna do well with it. I had a friend of mine help me get started and once I started and just wrote I found myself enjoying it and I also found myself becoming a little happier when I was writing. Now for me blogging, I thought it was just gonna be an outlet for me to just kinda help me get my emotions out and all that. I had moments where I questioned myself a lot on whether I was doing things right…….I also had moments where I didn’t write posts for a while and that was because I was still struggling on some stuff, I was having days where I didn’t have the inspiration or motivation and because of that I wouldn’t write and i’d wonder whether I should continue with this or not, but I remember also starting this to have things be different.

I didn’t want to continue to stick to my old habits where, I would start something for a good while and then lose interest for it later, so just to sum everything up that i’m trying to say……..even when I have days where, I don’t have the inspiration or when i’m having days where I question myself, where I lack motivation to even want to write posts, I still do my best to push myself to do it, because I don’t want to give up on this, I want to continue to grow this blog as much as I can, even on days where i’m not feeling that confident in myself or when I question whether or not i’m doing things right.

I know everyone has a different writing style and everyones different and as long as you believe in your own stuff and you continue to do your best, there isn’t really anything wrong you can do, you just gotta keep going and just continue to work hard and do your best, because that’s all you can really do. I still have my days where I think to myself “am I doing alright!?” that’s always on my mind, I actually wrote a post earlier on that, i’m sure you guys have days where that’s on your mind as well, but I think as long as we remind ourselves and reassure ourselves to just continue to do our best and keep going, then we’ll be fine, as long as we don’t throw in the towel when things seem to be a little rocky then we’ll be fine……..I’m happy that I started this and i’m glad that I started this.

By the time you guys read this, it’ll be the next day, I believe it’s already considered the next day, i’m finishing this post up close to midnight, it’s around 11:50pm and i’m tired, i’m in a calm state of mind though. I’m not quite sure how any of this is coming out, I hope it’s making sense…………I don’t really know what else to say, I can’t believe that i’ve been doing this for 4 months now, it’s mad, but again i’m happy and glad that I did and that I still am. That’s a big thing for me, because I thought the minute I found myself not posting as much before on here when it came to the times where I just didn’t have the motivation for it, I thought this would be something I gave up on after a while too.

I’m just glad to know that, I didn’t, I don’t know what it was that made me still want to go fourth with this and continue, but whatever it was i’m glad I didn’t stop. For those who read my posts and enjoy it enough to where they want to continue to follow along with me in my world of blogging and subscribe to my blog site…….thank you, it means a whole lot to me, it really does!! To those who I have shared a conversation with on here, I really enjoyed connecting with you in those times and I hope to connect with more of you along the way. I don’t really have anything else I want to say expect thank you and that i’m glad to have this blog, i’m gonna continue to do my best to grow it and just make sure I don’t give up on it even when i’m having one of those days to where i’m not sure.

Last thing I want to write before I call it a night, is that if you guys are interested in checking it out, I uploaded another chatting session of my new thing I have with All Things Random, you know where I talk random topics, if you’re interested in checking that out it’s on my blog site already, I shared it on here, when I uploaded it, I just forgot to share it with you guys, if you don’t want to scroll so much on my site, you can watch it here if you like: All Things Random: Writing/Blogging, PVRIS & Rock Sound Podcast (Nov 3, 2018)

Coming up with this idea of creating something where I could just sit and talk about pretty much anything that I wanted, I don’t know I just really like that idea. Although I didn’t have much confidence at first with going through with it, to have things that inspired me to want to give it a shot and just see where it could go, it means a lot. Sometimes a little inspiration can help give you that boost and also that confidence in yourself to try it out even if you’re the only one enjoying.

Okay I don’t have anything else to talk about so, thank you once more and I hope that you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Just Chatting Away

On November 11, 2018 By Daydreamer LexIn Fun & Random Posts, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Hey everyone I hope you’re all doing alright, okay so just to give you a heads up, i’m very tired, but I will give you guys a post before going to sleep, don’t you worry. Right now it’s around 11:30pm so close to midnight as i’m writing this, I don’t know why I tend to wait this late to write at times, but it’s happening, this isn’t gonna be a very long post I don’t think…….i’m gonna do my best to make sure it’s not. Now i’m not really sure what to write about here for you guys, I could write about my day, but there wasn’t really all that much to it, I just pretty much did the things I always do.

My day was a bit weird earlier though, I don’t know why, but I became very anxious for some reason out of nowhere, I didn’t wake up feeling that way, it sorta just hit me randomly, I calmed myself down though, but it did appear a few times throughout my day, i’m okay now though, I was just having a weird day is all, but i’m fine now.

What else can I tell you!? Oh I might have something worth sharing, so I was watching this video earlier and it was on one of my favorite bands, you know the one, yes PVRIS. I was watching one of their live shows and Lynn Gunn was singing one of her songs off their album All We Know Of Heaven, All We Need Of Hell, the song that she performed is called What’s Wrong but she did a stripped down version of it, so instead of singing it the original way, she sang it with just the Piano and her voice. Long story short, she was towards the ending of the song and in the song she sings the line “No I never sold my soul”

Now when she sings that line, she repeats it a couple times in the song, so she sings the lines a couple times and after she sang it, she asked the audience to sing along, and get this………….okay so you know how we all have things that bother us, it can be the smallest of things, but we’ll make it a little bit bigger than what it is, because there’s just something about it that just drives you a little mad and this, this is just one of those things that drove me mad………..So she tells them to sing along to the song…………and guess what they did, yeah that’s right…….NOTHING, NOT ONE SINGLE LINE WAS SUNG WITH LYNN!!!………I know you’re probably like “okay why is that a big deal!?” You want to know why, i’ll tell you why, how can you go to a concert or festival and not sing along to the song!?

I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT!? I mean okay I get it if you’re new to the band and don’t really know them all that well or any of their songs, BUT IF YOU’RE THERE AS A FAN OF THE BAND OR ARTIST YOU WENT TO SEE AND YOU DON’T SING ALONG TO THE SONGS THEIR PLAYING FOR YOU, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEIR ASKING YOU TO JOIN IN AND SING ALONG……….WHY ARE YOU THERE FOR!? Like you know what I mean!? I just don’t get it, like okay maybe I am over reacting a bit and who knows, maybe some of them we’re still learning the song, but still.

I enjoy going to concerts or being at events where the crowd is apart of the show. Like I can’t believe i’m bringing this up……….but I was at Disney on Ice, with my mom and little cousin, last week I believe and obviously there were kids there and one of the parts to the show was Frozen………now i’m not a HUGE fan of Frozen, it’s okay, but when the song Let It Go came on………….you should’ve heard the crowd it…..was…..beautiful hearing all the kids in the arena and maybe even parents I don’t know, it was wonderful just hearing them sing along to the song and the feeling it brought, that was the best and when that happens at concerts or events in general where the crowd gets involved………it’s just the greatest feeling ever!!

So watching Lynn sing one of her songs in a stripped down version and her wanting the crowd to join in at a certain part of the song AND THEY DIDN’T, yeah that bothers me, I was like “someone tell me why no one is singing with Lynn!?” I also said if that was me and I was at that concert and Lynn told me to singing along………i’d sing at the top of my lungs if I had to, just because Lynn wanted me to sing with her, seriously. I guess I can’t get super upset though, I mean let’s face it we all had moments where we’ve been to a concert or an event where, we really didn’t know the song or where you see or hear everyone else cheering for something and you feel left out because you don’t actually know what it is they’re cheering for……….it happens, but I still wish some people sang along to the song though, it just makes me happy inside when everyone just joins in.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Photo by Oscar Keys on Unsplash

I Don’t Even Know, What To Title This

On November 10, 2018November 10, 2018 By Daydreamer LexIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Hey everyone, i’m back with another blog post, i’m gonna try and make this one not so long, so that way I can get some sleep, you’re probably thinking “well gee why don’t you just sleep if you’re so tired!?” I could do that yeah, buuuut I told myself i’d write two blog posts today, since I not only didn’t record a new video, but I also haven’t uploaded my other video from last Saturday, which is kinda stressing me out a bit, but that would be my fault because, I could’ve did it earlier, but I didn’t so I have to deal with it of course.

I will upload it in the morning though, although it should’ve been uploaded already, talk about making things harder on yourself right!? It’s just too much at times, especially when most of your days are up and down, there isn’t really ever a middle ground most times, but I guess it could be if you just make the most of it right!? As well as making things a little bit easier for yourself and not stressing yourself out every minute of the day with trying to do everything all at once or thinking you have to do loads, because you really don’t have to, you just have to find some kind of balance to where everything seems manageable. Maybe by doing that, it will become less overwhelming and you’ll tend to feel a little bit at ease doing things that way……….am I making sense!? I hope so, right now I don’t have any idea whether or not what i’m writing is coming out right, that’s how tired I am at this very moment, but i’m trusting myself and hoping it is coming out okay.

Do you guys just have days like that where, sometimes you just write, but you’re not quite sure if what you’re writing about is coming out alright or if it’s making any sense or is that just me!? I can’t be the only one, I hope i’m not the only one……I think we all tend to have days like that, I feel with days like that, it might actually be good, because then whatever has been hiding away from you, could come out without a care and then maybe you’ll feel better because of it.

I mean who says we can’t have days where we just write whatever is in our minds or just random posts to where it doesn’t have to make sense for once it can just be freely writing, if that makes any sense, I don’t know if it does, but I hope you all know what it is that I mean………I feel i’m gonna look back on this post and just go “WHAT DID I JUST WRITE” I might regret it, I might not, hey I might just even look back and laugh at it or even be surprised I don’t know, I guess i’ll see tomorrow morning.

I’m gonna head to sleep now, okay i’m gonna get a snack first and then head to sleep, I hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening, it’s gonna be something looking back at this post tomorrow.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Photo by Ben Bowens on Unsplash

Now Playing Ashley Tisdale, Song Of The Day/Night: Voices In My Head

On November 9, 2018March 30, 2019 By Daydreamer LexIn Now Playing...., Uncategorized1 Comment

Now before you ask, I just want to let you know that i’m actually having a pretty good night, although i’m super tired, but I needed to write a blog post because I didn’t yesterday, so if I have to stay up until midnight or even later I will, if it means posting something new, it’s only 11pm at the moment, but it is close to midnight and I normally try and fall asleep around that time so i’m hoping I don’t make this blog post a long one.

The reason for this title here, is because I just listened to Ashley Tisdale’s new single Voices In My Head and I loved it!! Now a lot of you might know of her and a lot of you might not, but that’s okay no worries, i’ll tell you a bit on her, like for one, she’s mainly known as an actress, you might’ve heard of the movie called High School Musical……yeah Ashley plays the character Sharpay Evans, she also starred in Suite Life Of Zack And Cody, she had her own spin off after High School Musical called Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure, so she’s pretty much apart of the Disney Channel circle, well she was.

She’s been in a whole lot of other movies, she also I believe directed and guested starred on a show called Young & Hungry, which i’ve watched, but haven’t finished watching so I have to catch up, even though I think the show finished already so I think I just have to watch it, but yeah Ashley’s known, but I don’t think she’s super big, but she’s known.

Anyway back to the song, which again is great, really great……..well to me anyway, I don’t know if you guys are gonna like it, but if you want to hear it, i’ve added it for you if you’re interested, I loved it though, had a big smile on my face while listening to it. I only heard it once, buuut once is enough to get me to like it and it’s Ashley of course i’m gonna love it!!! I’ve been waiting for new music from her for soooo long and finally she’s released a new single, how amazing is that!!? Okay caaaalm…….caaalm…….alrighty, okay.

Like I was saying, Ashley’s great and her voice is great as well, now her voice isn’t like everyone else’s, but I still find it to be very unique, it’s not like super powerful, but I find her voice is still very lovely. Now although a lot of people know her as more of an actress and of course a lot of people know that she has a voice on her because of High School Musical, what a lot of people don’t know is Ashley did and does music as well, besides her singing and starring in High School Music (1, 2 & 3) She actually had two pretty good albums (in my opinion).

Her first album being Headstrong, which is a classic and one of my favorite albums to go back and listen to, whenever I want to relive part of my young years (i’m not that old don’t worry, still young) I still have that album til this day actually (there’s a story on the first time I owned it, but I won’t bore you guys with that one…….I hope i’m not boring you guys now) Headstrong released back in 2007 and her other album Guilty Pleasure released back in 2009, was also pretty good. That album, i’d say was a little bit more on the mature side, more than headstrong was, but I liked that it didn’t go too overboard, however I still would say that it was mature for it’s time, just when it comes to certain songs, but it wasn’t like super bad on the mature scale, which is good.

Both albums we’re great, I loved them, like I said not only do I have Headstrong, but I also own Guilty Pleasure too, I was a pretty big fan of Ashley, not like super, but a big fan, you know sometimes you have those artists that you love and then you have your all times favorites. Ashley Tisdale is on my favorite artist lists, so there’s all time favorites, favorites, artists you like and then you have the “ahhh their alright” kinda artist. You know what i’m talking about…….and if you don’t, well then don’t mind me, i’m just in a really good mood and have this crazy amount of energy for some reason and decided to write my blog post for tonight all about Ashley Tisdale and you know what I don’t regret it, because this is actually the first blog post where I knew everything I was gonna write.

Probably my quickest one too, I started this close to 11:30pm and it’s around 12:30am midnight at the moment and that may seem like a long time to you guys to write on a post, buuut for me, it’s not, I normally take longer and that includes on shorter posts then this. I don’t really have much else to say, although it’s practically 1am……update it’s now around 1:30am as i’m finishing this so i’m just gonna leave this post here and get some sleep now………I hope you all have a great night/morning and or evening.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

A Little Bit Of Reflecting (Oct 21,2018)

On October 22, 2018 By Daydreamer LexIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Today was a very something kind of day, I was having one of my deep thought kind of days and every time that happens, I become a mess, I start overthinking, stressing out, which then causes me to become very frustrated and when i’m frustrated I can get pretty emotional…….which isn’t my favorite thing, because then it causes me to lose focus on the things that I try my hardest to not lose focus on especially when i’m dealing with days like this. The only reason i’m expressing all of this is because there was a lot that i’ve realized about myself, i’ve spoken before on how I don’t give myself the chance to really let something grow once i’ve gotten it up and running, which I don’t like that I do that.

Lately, i’ve been getting very frustrated, i’m not even going to try and pretend that everything’s been all that great, everything’s okay i’ll say that, but i’m still having some trouble really enjoying my days and i’m gonna explain why that is and the reason I keep going into deep thought mode, a lot of the times. I’m not quite sure how to write this part, but i’m just gonna write it however it comes out.

I enjoy writing, being able to write helps me get my mind in order a bit……..now for the past few days i’ve been writing in my thought journal, and I found myself writing something new every day or every other day, sometimes I write a lot, other times I don’t, sometimes my entries don’t even get finished properly. When I bought that journal a few years back, I said to myself that I wasn’t ever gonna write my own thoughts, that I was gonna use it to only write positive journal entries……….now I haven’t done that in a while, but what I have done was do exactly what I told myself I wouldn’t do.

You’re probably thinking what do you mean, it’s a journal you’re meant to write down your thoughts and feelings!? Yeah I know that, but when I would write in my thought journal, i’d only write the title of what I was feeling……but whenever i’d go to write whatever I wanted to express based off the title, it wouldn’t feel like they were my words if that makes sense!? It would always feel as though someone else wrote it, yet I wrote it, you know what I mean!? It’s like if you were playing a character in a movie or something, but you’re writing instead…….and you know, you say and write all these things and when you go back to read it, it’s as if it’s not even the same person and you’ve just found this journal lying around filled with thoughts and advice on the things your dealing with.

I’ve said before how sometimes i’ll read one of my journal entries and while i’m reading it i’d be surprised, because it wouldn’t even seem like I wrote it……like if you were to say “Hey look I found this journal filled with all these different advices” changed the cover of it and then handed it to me to read……..I probably would think it belonged to someone else at first and then maybe after reading a bit of it, i’d recognize it and say “Wait this seems familiar……oh wait this is my journal!?” So it’s kinda like the way I started writing in it when I first got it, I was writing it as if someone would find it and maybe be curious to read it, but in an advice guide kinda way, I don’t really know how to properly explain it, but I hope you understand what i’m trying to say here.

Although I enjoying writing………i’m constantly trying to figure out what else I could do to keep my spirts up, stay motivated and all that. Writing is great, don’t me wrong……..I love being able to express myself in a way I didn’t think I knew how, being able to bring in some of my ideas to here, like you know talking about bands or video games that I enjoy, asking random questions, you know stuff like that……..but I feel as though I need to showcase my personality a bit more if that makes any sense, it’s like when I write about something that i’m super excited about, I really get excited, but you wouldn’t quite know that exactly, just by me writing my words.

What i’m trying to say here is, i’ve kinda I won’t say lost, but I will say i’ve just……..I just feel as if some other stuff is missing, like some excitement I don’t know………i’ve realized tonight that i’m not very nice to myself, I know i’m hard on myself, but i’m not that nice. I don’t let myself be great, anytime I have new ideas on something I stop them from taking flight before they even get on board and I can’t keep doing that if I want to see myself succeed and do well.

I’m always complicating things when I know that I don’t need to and I cause myself to constantly overthink on things which I know isn’t good……….if I were to just to stop and breathe for a second, anytime I started to worry about something and just say to myself: “Hey, what are you doing!? All these things that you’re thinking about and stressing yourself out about, aren’t that big of a deal as you’re making it………You can do these things if you just stopped worrying on how it will turn out or whether or not their good enough……they are good enough, you just have to help them come to life and show everyone how passionate you are about them, even if they don’t get it.”

Everything I just said there in that little small dialogue I created, is my problem I overthink, because I worry about whether my ideas are good enough and when I do that this thing in my mind tells me that it won’t work and I shouldn’t continue on with it, but I know by doing that, I don’t win, because I let myself talk me out of ideas that once brought me joy or that I wanted to try, all because I was scared and didn’t think people were interested………..but I know that’s not a good way to think, if I always based everything I do on whether people would like it or not, then it only hurts me, because i’m not giving myself a chance nor am I giving my ideas a chance and whether people like something or not, it shouldn’t stop you from still seeing if you could do well with it.

There’s a lot of others things to it, but lately the way i’ve been feeling is more with me and whether or not i’m getting things right and I always just hope that I am and I think for me I just have to stop worrying and that’s something that has always been hard for me, because i’ve done it so much throughout my life it’s gonna be a little hard to get rid of it right away………but I want to be able to try a little bit more, I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and say “I’m proud of you and you’re doing very well.” while also being able to look back and be proud of something that I built myself like this blog for example.

I don’t want to be in this constant funk that i’m in, all because i’m constantly in my mind trying to figure things out when it comes to helping myself enjoy things more. I’m gonna do my best to stop worrying so much as best as I can and just try and do a little bit of everything if I feel that I should or need to, because the only person who can get me out of these deep thought sessions with myself……..is myself, I need to stop letting myself get so consumed in my own emotions and thoughts when it comes to things that I could just easily snap out of and i’m gonna do my best everyday to get better and do better, so I don’t feel the way I have again or at least as much as I have.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Featured Photo By: Jan Phoenix on Unsplash

Change (Oct 12, 2018)

On October 12, 2018October 12, 2018 By Daydreamer LexIn My Journal Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Journal Entry (Oct 12,2018)

Change is a very big thing, it can also be a very scary thing as well, we all fear a little change sometimes, especially when it’s something new that we’re still getting use to. Some of us embrace change though, while others kinda get a little anxious when it comes to the thought of it, we get so overwhelmed sometimes that we think we should just settle for what we know and for me i’m starting to realize that we shouldn’t do that, we all need a little change, be it in our environment, the way we live and even in the way we think and how we see ourselves. We get so use to being a certain way that because we’ve been that way for so long, we have it in our minds that we don’t need to change.

Sometimes though we do, because in the end we know that it’s gonna make us better people and help us grow as a person, it’s okay to be scared because it means that we care, sure when it comes to change we may not know what exactly it will bring us, but maybe that’s for a reason……maybe we aren’t meant to know, maybe we’re just meant to accept it and embrace it, instead of trying to always fight to stop it from happening. We should all want to change a little, especially when we know deep down we need it, because maybe the old way isn’t working, maybe it’s time for us to kick ourselves in the backside and tell ourselves to shape up and to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and just accept that no matter what we do, something is bound to change and we can either embrace it or let it push us so hard that it makes us breakdown more often then we may like.

We all fear change, but we really shouldn’t, because change is apart of life, it helps us move forward, it helps us see things from a different perspective and it lets us see things we’ve never seen before. Change helps show us what it is we’re capable of, whether we see it in ourselves in the beginning or we have others try and show us, so we can discover it along the way, no matter how we may perceive change, it’s gonna happen and it’s on us to really embrace it and see what that change has in store for us or we can just let it intimidate us and risk missing out on something amazing.

Who knows it might be something we really need, but we wouldn’t know because we’re always running away from it, because we’re scared of what might happen. Instead of us always worrying about the what if’s, why don’t we just try looking more on the side of why not and let’s see what this could be, will we be scared!? yeah we’ll probably be terrified, but that still shouldn’t stop us from seeing what is out there for us, we should always welcome change no matter what it is, eventually no matter what the change is like, it’s always gonna end up having a silver lining somewhere, we just have to learn to always see the best in everything. (End Of Journal Entry)