Focus….

Keep your focus, try not to get distracted on things that don’t matter, I get it it’s hard to stay focused when there’s so much going on around you, but you have to keep your mind on the things that matter to you, the more we focus on the things that irritate us, the more things are going to irritate us……..

Yes I know all of that is easier said then done, but you have to try, you don’t want to keep having yourself move backwards, you have to want as well as do your best to move forwards no matter how scary it may seem……

It may leave you unsure moving forwards, but it’ll make you feel so great knowing that you did it and that you are moving somewhere, yeah it can be nerve wrecking and all, but don’t you think it’ll be worth all the nerves!?

I’m sure there’s no better feeling than seeing yourself become something you never imagined and just seeing how far you can really fly!!! You know you want to and you know that you also need to, also try not to look so much into things, you’re only distracting yourself more doing that…….

Even if you feel the tension or you’re feeling stressed out and everything, just keep going and keep focused, believe me you’ll thank yourself for it.

Don’t bother with the words of other people, keep attempting that jump to fly, because trust me you can do it, it’s there, you just need to trust yourself.

Don’t think about it too hard and don’t stress so much about it, just stay focused and keep on going, you’ll get it, you just have to trust and believe.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Train Of Thought…..

I think I can, I think I can……

What if I can’t, what if I mess up…..

I think I can, I think I can…..

Caaaan’t do it, no, no……

I Think I Can, I Think I Can……

Aren’t you listening to me!? I don’t think this is a good idea, we’re not good enough here, it’s not going to work!!!

I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN, I KNOW I CAN……..

WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? GO BACK!!

I CAN DO THIS, I KNOW I CAN, I JUST GOTTA KEEP GOING…….

YOU’RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE!!!

DON’T YOU DARE LISTEN TO THAT VOICE OF YOURS,YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU KNOW YOU CAN, JUST KEEP GOING!!!

DON’T LISTEN TO HER, LISTEN TO ME I KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU, STOP!!!

DON’T GIVE IN TO THAT DOUBT, DON’T GIVE IN TO THE WORDS THAT TELL YOU TO BACK DOWN, YOU CAN DO THIS……TRUST ME YOU GOT THIS, YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!

SHE DOESN’T, SHE DOES, DON’T YOU LISTEN TO HER!! LISTEN TO ME!!

I THINK I CAN….CAN’T……CAAAAAN……..TTTTT………TRUST…….DON’T…..

YOU GOT THIS, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU BELIEVE, YOU GOT THIS, JUST KEEP GOING!!!……DON’T………GO!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Feb 26, 2019

Okay brain listen here, we’re not doing this today, we’re not gonna sit here and dwell or overthink things right now alright!? We gotta stay focus, we neeed to stay focus, we can’t keep thinking or wondering where it is we’re going to be, we need to shape up and just keep going, if we keep thinking this way and worrying we’re just gonna end up standing in the same place.

We know we want to get somewhere right!? We want to be proud of ourselves for not giving up and sticking with what we set our minds to right!? There’s no need to feel sorry for ourselves then, as long as you don’t stop and keep putting the hard work in then we’re going to be fine.

Stop worrying, stop wondering if what you’re doing is good enough, stop looking at everyone else and comparing yourself to them, YOU’RE NOT THEM, YOU’RE YOU and you need to continue to just be you, don’t give up on your ideas and stop being so hard on yourself!!

Look I know that you feel being perfect and doing everything people think you should do is the right thing, but it’s not, you have to do what you feel is right, you have to trust that the decisions that you either make or are going to make, are what’s best for you.

So what if everyone has their own opinion, LET THEM HAVE THEIR OPINION!! IT’S JUST THAT AN OPINION!! STOP TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYONE, just because people have their judgements and everything doesn’t mean that what you’re doing is wrong, if you’re doing it and you feel satisfied and happy doing it, then keep doing it, don’t talk your way out of it, stick with it, put your whole heart and soul into it.

You know that you have it within you, you know that if you don’t like something or aren’t happy with something you have a say, you have the right to an opinion, DON’T LET PEOPLE TELL YOU OTHERWISE, STOP BEING SCARED TO SAY WHAT YOU THINK OR HOW YOU FEEL, IF PEOPLE GET UPSET THEN LET THEM BE UPSET, BUT DON’T YOU EVER AND I MEAN EVER FEEL YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR OPINION, IF EVERYONE ELSE HAS A RIGHT TO SAY WHAT THEY THINK, SO DO YOU!!!

When it comes to the things you want to do though, just do it, I know that that’s can seem hard, believe me, but you just gotta go for the things that bring a smile to your face to where you wake up looking forward to doing it, even if you’re exhausted, don’t be afraid to create and don’t be afraid to say how you truly feel, we all have that will power to either quit or keep going and I know that you don’t want to quit, I know that you have that strength in you that wants to keep going, give in to that strength, give in to those ideas that bring you joy and just let the creativity and heart flow.

Keep going, don’t give up, please don’t give up, you may not think it, but you need to believe that everything is going to work out fine, you just need to stay focus and don’t give in to the fear or doubt or anything negative that is trying to tell you otherwise, just keep going, don’t apologize unless it’s something you feel you need to be apologetic for, but don’t just apologize because you feel you have to or need to.

You are strong and you are wise, sure we made some mistakes, but we’re human it happens, can we change it no, but we pick ourselves up and learn from it, you have to believe that you know what you’re doing, because believe it or not you do, it’s just gonna take time for you to see it, but just know that you’re fine, even when you don’t know exactly what you’re doing, just go with it and pretend like you do.

Be confident in everything you do and make the most of it while you’re doing it, it’s okay to fall, as long as you dust yourself off and get up, don’t give up, you may not be a fan of John Cena, but listen to him when he says “Never Give Up” because he’s right, today we had a moment and that’s okay, it’s all apart of being human, it’s okay to feel, but just remember to keep going and know that everything is going to be alright in the end, okay!!!

Now sign off from this post and get back to finishing what is already a very late review also keep this post close whenever you need a reminder and a pick me up alright, don’t be so hard on yourself, just keep going!!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Feb 11, 2019

Okay so i’m having a bit of trouble keeping focus and i’m really trying to keep focus, I made coffee hoping it’ll sorta keep me on my toes, not sure if it’s working though, I was going to make it in the morning, along with tea, yeah I know that’s weird, but it’s a thing now where I have to have tea next to me even if i’m drinking something else.

It’s only like that in the morning sometimes and if I don’t end up making it in the morning, I end up making it later anyway, so even if I don’t drink tea right away, i’ll always end up making it eventually, but that’s not what we’re talking about here……………..i’m trying to keep focus, but it’s like part of me just wants to relax and close my eyes, yet at the same time, I want to keep myself productive and I want to write and it’s like my brain is like no………nope, let’s just relax today and i’m like no……….I want to write and it doesn’t want to let me and i’m getting frustrated with it!!

So right now i’m having a little back and forth with myself on that, but i’m going to try and continue to write and not let my brain persuade me otherwise, because 1. I need to finish a post that i’ve been writing since last week because it’s a review, a wrestling review and it’s already late, but I already started it and I want to finish it, even though it’s from two weeks ago.

I already didn’t post my Royal Rumble review that I wrote, it was meant to be two parts, but I ended not posting it, because I wasn’t sure on it, but when it comes to my Raw & SDL review from Jan 28 & 29th i’m going to post it, again I know it’s already late, but I still want to post it and with the next review I do, i’m going to do my best to make sure that it’s posted within the same week of both shows, the weekends being the latest I post them.

Right now I know it’s a bit everywhere, believe me, but i’m trying to get used to it and i’m going to continue to try my best to work around it the best way I can……….i’m calm now and I made another cup of tea so hopefully, it’ll be a lot more helpful than the coffee was.

P.S. I also wanted to share that today marks 8…….wait no I did the counting to myself………..7 months!? since I created this blog site, I don’t know why I automatically thought it was 8!? I guess because it feels like i’ve had this for a longer time than I actually have, but 7 months wow!?………..that’s real nice, also we’ve reached 100 people following the blog site, which is great, that is amazing!!!

I just want to say thank you guys for continuing to read my posts and helping me grow my site, i’m really glad that you all are enjoying them, it truly does mean a lot, i’m really grateful and thankful and I seriously do appreciate you all, so again thank you sooo much and I hope you’re all having a lovely day ^_^

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Feb 1, 2019

SO as you all know today is the first day of February, which means we have left January behind, it’s insane how quickly time goes ain’t it!? not really sure what to write and talk about, i’m in a bit of a mood today, i’m trying so really sort myself out, because i’m at the point where if I don’t i’m just going to continue to feel not 100 percent happy and I can’t keep feeling not 100 percent happy, I know i’m lacking in the “be in the moment and enjoy things more” department, I don’t know how to get out of being there.

It’s like although i’m trying so flipping hard to come back to being my old self, I know that i’m still not entirely there and everyone keeps telling me that i’m constantly stress and that i’m not the same, as if I don’t know that!! I know the stress I feel, I have to keep on a lower level compared to how I was initially feeling it and i’ve been working on that, now the whole i’m not 100 percent myself part, that’s a little hard at the moment.

When you’ve been feeling a certain way for a good while, you’re not just going to go back to being 100 percent right away, everyone knows that and it’s like everyone want me to be back already, i’m trying, but right now i’m trying to keep myself focus, i’m trying to figure things out on where i’m supposed to go, my minds is constantly all over the place and i’m trying to keep it in a state that is manageable to where i’m able to control it, all it really is, is me trying to have some kind of balance once again.

I know i’m a certain way and i’m trying to not only work with it, but also change it to a different way to what i’m use to if any of that makes sense!? When it comes to the way I am, I can’t really explain it to you, I just do things and work a different way than most people do and that’s for a reason, but that shouldn’t be an excuse, not that i’m trying to make like it is, i’m just saying that…….because of the way I am, i’m trying to fix the way I process and do things and it’s not easy, but i’m trying………….I know I need to get out more and push myself to doing things that I normally wouldn’t………

It’s a lot of pressure not just from around me, but also from within myself, i’m very hard on myself when it comes to a whole lot of things and one of the main things is coming out of my comfort zone, i’m so use to it, but I know that everyone has that issue so that’s not an excuse…………I know that everyone is worrying about me and I know that they’re not happy, but what am I suppose to do, i’m doing the best that I can and I really am trying……….

I will say though……….I do need to work on enjoying things more, it’s not like i’m not, it’s just taking me a bit longer than I expected to really enjoy it properly, but i’m going to continue to work on that and have a bit more fun more, even though i’m trying to stay focus on where i’m going in my life, I know that’s one of the things i’m lacking and i’ll work on it more.

I do hope that i’m getting somewhere though and that i’m doing alright in my life, that’s one of my main thoughts all the time, that and wanting things to be better, with the little bit of hope i’m trying to keep near me always……………….I hope it does.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Why Do We Doubt Ourselves!? (Evening Pages Nov 14, 2018)

So i’ve been trying to figure out what to write for a bit now, i’ve been writing in my writing journal, earlier I wrote a new evening page, it was on what was in my head this morning, I started to write another journal entry on something and the title I wrote here, is the same title I wrote in my writing journal. The question I ask is why when it comes to self doubt…….why is it that we doubt ourselves so much!? It seems like when we were younger, we had more confidence then we do now in ourselves, which is crazy to look back on, i’m sure a lot of us were super energetic, didn’t have a care in the world on anything, we just all did our own thing without having to worry about it.

It’s like the older you get, the things that you would normally feel confident about as a kid, you don’t feel as much getting older. Now i’m not saying everyone does that, i’m sure there’s a whole lot of people who were the same from a child to now. However most of us, we know what it’s like to change in order to meet peoples standards the older we get. If someone doesn’t like something we do, we change ourselves so that way they do like us better, we try and mold ourselves to everyones perception of us that when it comes to really looking at yourself in the mirror, it’s hard to know who you really truly are……..and when you try to break out of those molds, you find yourself getting backlash for it.

People see that you want to change and you know you want to change, because you feel that there’s just so much more to you then what meets the eye and you want to see what that is, but not everyone will see it the same as you and that’s something that not only they need to come to terms with, but you need to come to terms with yourself. Everyone will have their opinions, judgements and thoughts about it, but you…….you have to know that this change, this thing that you find yourself in the middle of, you have to know that it’s not all bad, sure it may seems like it, but it’s not. Everyone changes and not everyone is gonna be the same for long.

If you’re going through some kind of change, maybe it’s because you need the change because maybe the way you were and the things you did before…….maybe they just aren’t meant to be there forever with you, maybe they were just there for the moments that you needed it………I find myself wondering whether the person I am now this version of me, I wonder whether I went wrong with her or something and the thing is………I actually don’t feel like I did, I know i’m not the same as I was a few months ago, a few months ago I was happy, happier than i’ve ever been, me now……..i’m half kinda happy, but also half not fully completely happy and you’re probably thinking what does this have to do with self doubt!?

Well……..when you know that you’ve changed and that you just aren’t the same person everyone was used to and that you were use to, it makes you look back on a lot of things from the moments that you were, to how you are now and it makes you question, even when you feel like this new you, this new version of you might just do you good…….it will still have you question yourself and it will leave you to doubt yourself and if you’ve always been the kind of person to have issues with self doubt, whether that be in yourself, the decisions that you’ve made, it will still effect you.

Even when it does though, you just keep in mind that everyone changes, you included, you may not understand why and you may not like it at first, but eventually you’ll come to realize that you changing isn’t a bad thing, it’s far from it. The only thing that comes from change is new opportunities and a new kind of growth, so again, no matter how many judgements you get, keep in mind that when you start to doubt yourself when it comes to how you’re doing things and all that, know that you have nothing to worry about, because you’re doing fine, you just gotta keep going and eventually you’ll see that the change you’ve come across will only be for the better even if you think it wont. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Christian Holzinger on Unsplash

Mood: I’m Feeling Both Calm & Happy Today (Nov 12, 2018)

How’s your day going everyone I hope you’re all doing well, right now it’s around 1pm close to 1:30pm where i’m at and I don’t really know why, but today i’m feeling really good, i’m happy which………yeah, I don’t know i’m just very happy right now, which is good. I’ve been smiling to myself for a long while now which doesn’t happen very often but i’m gonna take it and just really enjoy this because……..yeah it’s been a while, I was just posting both blog post from yesterday on my social media and when I went to post my 4 months of me blogging post it was like……….I don’t know I still can’t believe that it’s been 4 months since I started this blog, now I know that doesn’t seem like a very long time, but at the same time it feels like it’s been a very long time.

To me it feels like i’ve been blogging for longer than that, even though I just recently started not too long ago which is weird, but looking back on it………I don’t know it’s crazy like wow…….to think I came here thinking that I was just gonna use this to express my emotions, but then after a while of doing this, I was able to add some fun stuff to it, or at least what I think is pretty fun and interesting, ummm but yeah……..i’m just really happy today I don’t really have much that I want to say, i’m just feeling happy and good.

You know, it’s crazy, because when I was trying to figure out what to write, normally I sit and ponder for a very long time and get a little frustrated because i’m trying to come up with something, however today was different, I mean although I still wasn’t sure what it was that I wanted to write……I didn’t stress out about it, which i’m glad, because I don’t like stressing even though it can happen more often then I’d like, but that’s not gonna happen today, today i’m gonna take in and really enjoy this feeling of feeling good, does that make sense I hope so haha, but yeah, I feel good and that’s all I can really say at the moment.

I hope that you guys are doing well and you’re having a good day, if not I hope that you find something to brighten up your mood to where you feel better, if it’s tough today, just do your best to keep going and know that whatever it is that is bothering you, stressing you out or is just too much, it’ll get better and everything is gonna be alright, no worries.

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

 

Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash