Evening Blog Pages (Nov 11, 2018)

They say the best way to get what you’re feeling out is to write it down, which I did, I wrote a new evening page in my writing journal a little bit ago on what was in my head. When it comes to me it never seems to be just one thing though, it’s always a bunch of different things, you know trying to figure out everything, wondering whether or not i’m doing okay…….you know just mainly stuff like that, which I know I shouldn’t stress myself over on, it’s just hard sometimes, because it’s like, I know me stressing isn’t really gonna do anything, it’s just gonna make me more and more stress and do I want that, of course not I don’t want to constantly worry all the time and constantly have in my mind “am I doing okay!?” “is everything gonna turn out alright!?” I just want to know and trust that it will be if I just let things happen gradually, without any worries.

I just always tend to have this thing where I constantly worry and wonder about what the future is gonna hold for me and how it’s gonna be, I mean heck i’m sure we all do. We all worry about how everything is gonna turn out for us, it’s just that feeling of wanting to know, but knowing you don’t know, that stresses you out, because you just want some clarification that everything is gonna be okay, you’re gonna be okay and that  everything you’re hoping will turn out well, does………I don’t know………They say anxiousness comes from overthinking everything, If I wasn’t so good at overthinking, I know I wouldn’t worry so much, i’m sure everything will be okay and that everything else will be okay.

I just have to keep my brain and thoughts in order and do my best to only focus on being in the moment and not worrying so much, as well as just staying confident on everything that i’m doing and believing that everything will turn out okay in the process and just keep going and continue doing my best and working as hard as I can, because those are the thoughts that I should be holding on too and keeping my focus on.

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

 

Photo by Calum MacAulay on Unsplash

Care To Sit And Chat!? (Nov 9, 2018)

Disclaimer: This was written earlier around 4pm my time, it’s close to around 10:30pm now just to give you guys a heads up, it was my earlier thoughts and I just kinda wanted to share a bit.  

Okay so i’ve been sitting at my computer for a good few minutes now, trying to figure out what it was I wanted to write about. I was considering writing a little love letter, like an ode to my boyfriend, but I didn’t think you’d want to read that so I changed my mind and kinda instead felt maybe I should hand write one, I honestly feel that would mean a lot more then writing it on my blog. I’ll be honest with you though, I don’t really have a topic to write about at the moment, so i’m pretty much just writing as I go, just to see what comes out and maybe they’ll be something there as i’m writing you know!?

I guess I could try and tell you guys what’s in my head or how my day was and what I did, it might be boring though, but maybe you’ll enjoy a bit of it……..I don’t know. I’ll start by telling you the reasoning for me wanting to write something sweet for my guy at first, don’t worry it won’t be super sappy promise, well i’ll do my best to make sure it’s not. The reason I first thought about writing a sweet little letter to my boyfriend as a blog post is because today is his birthday………unfortunately I was unable to spend it with him, due to him living not near me, he’s from the UK, so you can probably guess what kind of relationship we’re in………..

It’s hard, because I wanted to be able to spend his birthday with him, the same way he spent mine with me and knowing I couldn’t be there on his birthday, it sucks you know…….but to look on the bright side of it, at least i’ll get to spend part of it with him when we speak soon, so that’s good, I get to see his face and that smile that I love so much………yeah sorry it’s kinda headed in the sappy lane, i’ll switch over to something else in a second don’t worry.

I don’t normally write stuff like this because I don’t know……..I just feel like I shouldn’t write it, but when your mind is constantly just thinking of that person, it hard not to want to get it out a bit, he’s my world and the light of my life and I guess all of this is because i’m missing him and I just always want him near me you know!? I know that we’ll get there soon though, just gotta keep going and work hard so we’re able to get that even when somedays are harder than most. I just wanted to get that out a bit, also Happy Birthday my love if you’re reading this, I miss and love you loads.

Switching over to something less sappy though don’t worry I won’t go on and on about it even though I could and would but, I won’t put you guys through that. Let’s talk on what else happened today, like for one I was super tired this morning, still am, I didn’t sleep til about close to 2am last night because I was writing a blog post, which is kinda my fault, I could’ve wrote it earlier, buuut I didn’t so, you know you get what you give, is that the saying!? I’m not really sure, it might be.

Anyway my day didn’t quite start til about 11am. I didn’t wake up at a 11am, I woke up early, I just didn’t have the energy to start anything til around that time, okay close to 12pm more like. I was gonna do a new video of my what I like to call chatting session All Things Random and I set everything up to do it, but it was almost 3pm when I was thinking of recording and I like to record early so I don’t have to record while people are around, plus I didn’t want to record the video and me be super tired while recording, so I decided to do that tomorrow instead.

After deciding that I was like okay so i’m not doing that today, so i’m gonna try and write 2 blog posts today so that way I feel a little productive and I don’t feel like I didn’t do anything. So because now I said that, I have to go through with it and I don’t have any idea of what my next post is gonna be about a little later tonight, right now it’s around 5pm close to 5:30pm and it looks and feels like it’s 8pm, but it’s not, so that’s fun. That’s pretty much all that happened throughout my day, oh also to update you from my last blog post Ashley Tisdale is making a music video for her new single Voices In My Head and i’m super excited about it, it’s been too long and I can’t wait to see how it comes out, I feel it’s gonna be really good knowing Ashley, I like all her music videos to be honest.

So yeah that’s all I have for you guys, my day’s been pretty alright in case you guys think that I didn’t have a good one, I did, just had a few moments is all. I hope you don’t mind these kind of posts, I guess you can call them evening blog pages, now that i’m really thinking about it, I might just write this one in one of my journals as well and I might do more of these every now and again, not all the time just certain days, anyway I hope you all are enjoying the night, i’ll see you again before going to sleep with something new.

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

 

Photo by Alex on Unsplash