Tag: Curiosity

Don’t You Ever Grow Up….

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

There comes a day when you start to realize just how quickly everything goes….at first you don’t really think all that much about it, until that wave of realism comes rushing over you. At times it can be extremely overwhelming and hard to grasp, but the more you go about it, the less anxious it gets, sometimes it can make you feel a bit more anxious then what you thought….but it’s important to find some kind of grounding with those kind of moments and try to push through them!

This journey that we’re all on, although very much different, is still quite the same….what I mean by that is for one, we all have some kind of challenges to face, we have to get over bumps to be able to head towards where we’re going and many other things….one thing for sure though…..we’re all just a little or very much scared with each unknown thing that we come across! It’s not until we actually face those uncertain moments that we become less worried about them!

When we’re kids, there’s not really much to worry about is there!? At least for us kids, it’s the parents that do all the worrying, while we’re being quite the curious beings we are, trying to explore all that’s around us…..once we become teenages well that’s where all the challenges come in and where we start to discover who we are just a little bit more….some of us become trouble makers and some may still be trying to find their own voice! I won’t tell you which one I was, although you can probably guess….if you took a guess and said troublemaker well you would be somewhat correct, but more opposite based then what it may seem.

I enjoyed testing people as a kid and if I didn’t like something I would have no problem saying it…..I was a lot tougher and outspoken as a kid more than as a teen……I was what you would call the quiet kid during my teenage years, especially in high school, you would think that, it’d be the other way around, but no…..I didn’t really step out of comfort much during the higher level that life had going for me then…..I became what everyone loves to be (sarcastically speaking) a people pleaser…..to keep the story short…..it took a very long time to get myself out of that!

When I say a long time, let’s just say it wasn’t until recently that, I let that side of me go….well most it at least and when I say recently I mean about…..2 years ago…..it may seem long and yeah it is, but at the same time no it’s not! I’m 27 now and to quote one of my all time favorite artists Alexz Johnson and her song Aftermath “Who I was back then I barely recognize her” which is the truth, right now at this moment….I never thought I would be where I’m currently at now in a more, as a person kind of base, as well as a bit of surroundings!

There are days where I will randomly sit with myself and take everything in and even though I know i’ve gone through it…I still get a bit surprised on how much I’ve transformed as a person and for me it’s a little hard to believe sometimes! There’s still stuff that I know will eventually be improve on, but to collect on everything so far, it’s a little of a wow moment….it may not be a lot to you, but for me it’s a lot….but that’s what growth does to all of us…..we don’t realize certain aspects to ourselves until it sorta hits us in the face and at that point, you have no choice, but to really look at it for a second, to look at yourself and all that you’ve overcomed, each and every challenge that you didn’t think you would possibly get through!

Mind the fears and anxieties of those particular moments and not realize through everything you did eventually get through them, there may have been a lot of ups and downs, hard turns, feeling like you’re going in some kind of loop and let’s not pretend that, there weren’t a couple crashes in those times as well…..we’ve all felt like we hit a dead end and just when that hope and wonder of not knowing whether you’d get out or not, enters your mind…..there would always be that one thing, that made you feel like “I can’t give up…I need to keep going” we might’ve not known where you were going, but you had something in your heart and deep down where you knew….the more you went you would be alright!

We always know the way….even when we think we don’t, it’s always important that we take a moment to listen to our hearts as well as intuition…..it can be hard though because sometimes we do fight with ourselves about what it we actually feel, but even if we aren’t exactly sure in the moment….all we have to do is just go with the next best thing that feels right and makes sense to us…..it may not make sense to everyone else, including those close to you, but honestly the only person it needs to make sense to is you…..no one is really going to truly understand the jouney you go on or that I go on, because it’s not their journey it’s yours, it’s mine, it’s ours as a collective, we’re all experiencing things differently and the older that we get….it can become more difficult to choose the right direction.

Here’s the thing though, there’s really no wrong way of doing things…..if you feel it to be right then it is, who cares if people don’t see it the same way, if it really wasn’t going to be the best for you…..you would know and you’d be told in some way, but you’re not ever going to truly know if you don’t take the chance in finding out! You can be scared and nervous, but don’t ever let it stop you, you got to go for what it is you believe in, because that’s where you will see how much growth you’re going to get from it. You don’t need to feel like you can’t because of whatever or you feel it’s going to upset people….as hard and frightening it is to grow up a bit….it is absolutely necessary especially when you know you want it!

You want to be able to say you tried everything and learned a whole lot from it, all while also saying “I discovered this and I love it” or “Yeah I’ve seen this and even gave it go….it wasn’t my favorite thing, but it was alright” take that in whatever context you want, however I mean it more in a sense of, experiencing all that you have yet to see and would like to see, but not being afraid to step out of comfort, those kind of things! Channel into your kid energy, which by the way is always there, you just have to allow yourself to bring it out at times, but when it comes to curiosity and fearlessness that’s where it can really help guide you!

Just bare in mind that, there will be unexpected and uncomfortable situations that you’ll have to go through and that’s okay! You may not enjoy the things you came across along the way fully, but you’ll still learn something from it and hey even with those not so great moments, there is still something great within them….but a lot of the time, they show themselves when you’re not really paying attention, so if you want to catch them just be aware and stay open to the possibilities!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

It’s FE BREW ARY…

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

So we have officially entered the month of February, the shortest month of the year with only 28 days on the calendar, unless leap year is added of course then we get that extra day where it’s 29 days instead! I always find February to be quite interesting for the simple fact that there are only 28 days to it, while the rest of the months have 30 or 31 days to it….it’s quite fascinating really! That being said I do have to be honest about my feelings for February and those feelings are…..it’s not really my favorite month of the year….I don’t mind it, but I also don’t quite feel much for it….sorry February, nothing against you I promise!

Now that I’ve let my true feelings out with this month, let’s share some good things about the month…..although it’s not my favorite…..I still appreciate it for what it is, I mean without February we wouldn’t have Black History Month to help celebrate all those that really helped change the world to what we know now, it’s important to celebrate each culture and race to help gain knowledge of what’s different and try and embrace that as best as we can, all while never forgetting those who made an impact be it in a huge way or ways that we haven’t even heard of, we don’t always have to do something big to make an impact…..always remember that even the smallest effect can make a big difference in some way!

It’s good that we get this month to celebrate those of color, being mixed myself, it’s good to know that we too are celebrated in some way!

On to some other things about February though….many of you may or may not be aware, but this is the first time since we started 2022 that we will be getting not one, but TWO synchronistic days this month…..those days being tomorrow’s date of 2/2/22 (February 2, 2022) and a little bit toward the end of the month with 2/22/22 (February 22, 2022) now if you’re reading this and don’t really feel anything with it, that’s fine, I know Numerology isn’t for everyone, to be fair….I’m not a big number fan myself (I mean math is my least favorite subject after all which I’ve stated a few times) but if we’re on about synchronicity then that’s a bit of different story….it’s a bit hard to explain really, I guess I just find it cool that we’re in a month where the Two’s are really standing out this year!

It’s like with 11:11, quite the number I know, however if you were to ask someone what is it about the number 11:11 they might not be able to give an answer, other then having the urge to make a wish every time they see it! Now I’m not saying that this goes for everyone, I know there are quite a collective of people that do understand these aligned numbers as well as numerology as a whole, but if this kind of thing isn’t of interest to you and you just see them as regular old numbers then there’s no need to worry about it, but if you do feel something when seeing these kind of numbers or you have seen numbers like 11:11, 222 or 333 ect a little often then you like to admit…..you might want to check them out and see if there’s any messages with them!

Sometimes it’s just good to look something up just for the fun of it and nothing else, it doesn’t have to be about anything, but curiosity if you find it in your mind a lot! Numbers do have meanings to them, but it all comes down to whether it’s of interest to you as a person and what you believe in, if these numbers mean nothing to you…..that’s quite alright! I know people see things differently and as humans (good humans) we have to respect that, this is just something that I find intriguing and wanted to share, call me a weirdo if you like….I call myself that most times, but it’s something I embrace so I don’t really mind lol!

I just wanted to wish everyone a good February…..I probably could’ve just said it and left everything else out, but….I clearly I had other things to say and one of the reasons I wrote this post was because of the whole number thing being quite interesting to me where I just felt the need to share all about it, what can I say it’s cool to see numbers line up sometimes, anyway hope you all are having or have had a good start to the new month, take care of yourself, stay safe, be kind and I’ll see you in the next upcoming post!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

11:11….This Is Where You Make A Wish

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Good Afternoon…..Happy Thursday or as Isabelle from Animal Crossing would say Friday’s Eve which is a bit true if you really think about it…..I mean every time Thursday rolls around you know it’s time to celebrate because that’s when you know you’re close to the weekend time! I hope that everyone’s week has been going alright….I must say this week has gone by pretty quickly don’t you think, I mean the fact that we’ve already arrived at Thursday and we’re almost at Saturday is a bit mad, but it’s also good too so I won’t complain about it!

Now I know what you’re probably thinking….what is this title of a post!? Well if you don’t already know today is November 11th, that might not seem like a very important thing and for some it might not be, as far as you’re concerned it’s just a month and a day, but the fact that we’ve come to the 11th month on the 11th day, is very big actually, it’s a bit hard to explain it, but if you know anything about it then you’ll understand what I mean here. If you don’t quite get what the importance is with 11:11 then I’m probably going to sound crazy…..but to put it in few words in the best way that I can explain it….11:11 is the number of being aligned, so if ever you are to see this number it means that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be in this moment, at least that’s part of it anyway, this number can mean a lot of different things!

Believe it or not it’s not only 11:11 that is important, although it’s what most people know of to be of importance the most, but every number is important! If you’re constantly seeing the same number all of the time however, be it a favorite number, your birthday or just a random number that you find follows you everywhere you go, you might want to look into that number, there could be a message in them for that you need to know! Every number has it’s own special thing to it, but it’s when a single number is tripled or you see it as a 4 digit, maybe 5 digit number to where it can become even more powerful!

So for example say you see the number 555 or 444 and it’s not just once that you see it, maybe you notice you’re seeing it twice in one day or every time you are out for a walk….if you’re constantly seeing these triple digit numbers, take a really good look at them….especially if ever you find yourself wondering about them and why you’re always seeing them so much! You might at times come across numbers like 2222, 3333 and are wondering what exactly they mean….just know you might want to add it to your “definitely need to look into that” list, when you start seeing 4 digits instead of 3 it means you’re meant to pay close attention!

When these numbers appear constantly they’re inviting you to research the message they have for you, so that you can understand what it is they want you to know! It probably doesn’t make much sense I know, it’s okay if this sound like a weird language, but there is something to them, if you choose to look into them! So if you ever feel yourself becoming just a little curious to why you’re always seeing the same number over and over again, it’s probably because there’s a message for you that is important for you to know! Numbers are a bit weird and they can seem quite complicated, but they can be pretty helpful in knowing things that may be going on in your life that you may not be aware of!

It’s kind of like getting a message in a bottle every day or anytime you need to know something that you may have missed, it keeps you in the know and allows you to stop and really think about certain things! It can also be a good way to know if you’re on the right track! What I mean by that is say you have an idea, but you aren’t really sure if you should go forth with it or you just need a bit of encouragement…..it could also just be maybe you’re wanting a confirmation on something that may come out to be exactly what you had in mind originally, things like that it’s the best way I can explain it at least….

There’s many ways though to find out if you’re on the right track of something, but numbers are one of the best ways of knowing more, without knowing more if that makes sense!? That way you get to understand better and really know what something is, be it a thought, emotion, a random idea, whatever it is you’re needing or may need help with!

Back to 11:11 though…..there’s more to this number then what I’ve explained, but if you want to keep it simple and you believe in what most people call superstitions, if you haven’t already…..make a wish later on tonight at 11:11pm and when you do take a deep breath with your eyes close and think of something that you would like to happen or would want and wish for it! Let the universe know what it is you have in your heart that you would like to share and if you don’t have anything specific in mind you can always just choose to have something continue that is very important to you and show that you appreciate and are grateful for those things!

You don’t have to feel like you need to say a lot, you could just say thank you to what you already have and just for the moment that you’re in and if you want you could even use that wish for someone else to have, it’s whatever you feel and how you choose to use that wish, I hope that you all choose well, take care, stay safe and have a good rest of the day!

Update

Here’s my latest podcast episode, I actually recorded it a little bit earlier during the late evening, I’m not going to lie it’s a bit of a weird one, also it’s got a bit of this post in it, but it’s not all the same, if you’re interested check it out! There’s a glitch again…so if you see episode 45 instead of 46 you know why…..I’ll give it a day to fix itself until then…..you can listen to the episode here: It’s November 11th….and I’ve Got A Few Things To Say With It Ep. 46

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Let’s Talk: Monster House (Thoughts)

On By Daydreamer LexIn Let's Talk, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Good Afternoon! I hope you guys are having a good start to your week, it’s another Manic Monday as The Bangles would say, if you know that song then you’re a cool person and you were either born in the era that it came out or you’re just someone that has good taste in music, I wasn’t born in the era that this song released, I just listen to a lot of old music and music in general, but it’s good a song if you haven’t heard it!

So let’s get to talking about some movies, shall we!? As you all probably know Halloween is this upcoming weekend like we’re literally at the end of the month, can someone say “what the heck!?” because I want to….in all fairness this month has felt like a whole chore to get through, I don’t know if that’s just how I feel it to be, but it’s been on hell of a month and the fact that it’s just coming to an end is saying so much…..then again it might’ve been a different experience for anyone reading this right now so It’s probably just me at this point that has felt that! Also I might’ve said this a few times before, but I have been trying to keep with a theme for this month which is having anything I write be Halloween based, not including personal thoughts I want of share of course, but in a sense of movies, music, you know things like that!

However not everything I choose to talk about will be definite Halloween, but certain things that remind me of it, if that makes sense!? Today’s movie choice that I would like to give my thoughts on is the 2006 movie that really should have been released during this time or at least around the fall season, I mean it literally screams I WAS INTENDED TO BE A HALLOWEEN MOVIE, BUT I’M TECHNICALLY NOT A HALLOWEEN MOVIE! Something along those lines, if you couldn’t already tell from the title, we’re going to be talking about Monster House…..now to be fair, I have not watched this movie in quite some time, last time I revisited this one was about…maybe 3 years ago!? After that I haven’t really seen the movie….but it’s one of the movies that whenever this season rolls around I think about it!

Don’t ask me why, but it comes to my mind…..how many people remember this movie, I’m curious to know because I don’t feel like a lot of people talk about this one enough, nor do they even consider it as a Halloween movie at that, I mean if you really look at it, this movie did came out in the Summer….not kidding, July 21st to be exact, why!? I wish I knew, I mean it would have made a good start of the fall season movie, even if it wasn’t necessarily for October, September would have been fine for this movie to come out, but no they said July is a good month for this Halloween movie to release!

I will never understand how there’s some movies that literally tell you it’s for a specific theme, but come out on very odd months!? I thought I’d set the record straight and put this one where it’s meant to be and that’s with all the other Halloween non Halloween movie section! Let’s get into Monster House though, because it at least deserves that much…..again I’ve not watched this movie for a few years now, but I do remember always enjoy it when I would watch it! The art style of it is a bit weird yes, but that’s the whole aesthetic of it, it’s supposed to me weird! The movie from what I can remember was pretty darn creepy, not going to lie! Seriously imagine being eaten by your own house….

Scratch that your creepy neighbors house at that! Like your just minding your own business taking a walk and next thing you know you’ve been swallowed by your neighbors house, that happens to be haunted by his late wife who wasn’t really treated nicely when she was living! The only person to really care about her was her husband and when she passed….her spirit took over the house and she’d go after anyone that tried going near it! Hence why Mr. Nebbercracker (I think that was his name anyway) always screamed at kids and anyone not to go near his lawn, everyone thought he was a mean old grumpy face of an old man, but really was just trying to keep everyone from getting eaten by his house of a wife!

Plus he never really had anyone going out there way to really get to know him, but then again he never let anyone in anyway, because he was afraid and due to everyone constantly torturing him and his home so there’s that! It took 3 kids to be curious to why Nebbercracker doesn’t let anyone near his house to become curious and explore it anyway after being told not to go near it…..but you know kids, they do it anyway! You know what they say curiosity killed that cat, I’m not really sure why people say that, I mean that doesn’t always happen!? Who came up with that anyway?

Anyway….I can’t really go into full detail of the movie, although I do feel like I can remember the movie a good amount, but Monster House was quite the spooky movie, but I feel it’s both underrated and a really good movie as well, if these 3 kids didn’t allow their curiosity to wander, they would’ve never learned about Nebbercracker’s backstory and helped him get out of his own home that he felt trapped in and released all that fear he was holding himself in, I feel like this movie had a very interesting story to it and that the message that they tried to have come across was good as well!

It’s just a shame that not many people talk about it anymore or at least as much because I feel it to be a hidden gem of a movie, had it been released during the fall or around the Halloween season, I think it would’ve gotten more recognition, but I’m sure there’s some people out there that remember it and either really like it, didn’t like it or maybe they just thought it was okay! Everyone’s got different views which is fine, I personally really enjoy this movie, even though I haven’t watched it in quite some time, but that being said it’s always one that crosses my mind during this season because I just don’t understand why it wouldn’t, I guess everyone’s different!

P.S. This was written yesterday, but I ended up finishing today!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Bursting Energy…..

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Happy Friday! Hope you’re all doing well this fine afternoon…..I got a bit of too much energy right now as I’m writing this and I’m not quite sure how to handle it, I feel good today, I feel a lot better than these past 2 days, the only thing is, I just don’t know what to do with myself with this amount of energy, I don’t want to use it all in one go, I would like to pace it better, but I’m finding myself slowly draining it by each super thought that fills me with excitement or just by thinking too much about things….not in a bad way, but just by like I said getting myself excited with ideas and looking forward to things, for example I’ve got 2 podcast episodes that I’m eager to do that will be coming in the next week or 2, they’re both childhood related and I’m excited to put my thoughts on them after so long, you’ll know about them in due time don’t worry!

Now as for the other thing that always tends to leave me excited when thinking about it, is something that I find myself going back to, that I want to try, that I have yet to try my hand at, I always think about it, but I’ve not yet decided on fully giving it a go even when I do feel it! Recently I’ve been researching on it more and every time I do, I get both happy and nervous about it, but I don’t know I just feel it to be something that keeps kind of calling to me to check it out, I just get nervous!

Although, I always on occasion and if not that, then here and there looking more and more into it and I feel like it’s a good time to see about it and see if I can find myself getting used to a lot, again I just get nervous thinking about it because I don’t know if I’ll be good at it, but then I think well I won’t know unless I give it a try and it’s not something that I need to be serious about in a sense of I can just be me and do it how I feel it to naturally come out, it’s just a nervous feeling one reason being because it’ll require me to show my face again and not just my voice which is something that I haven’t quite done in the past few months and it’s one of the reasons I haven’t decided on it just yet.

I know I’m still becoming more comfortable with my voice and so combining the two is a bit nerve-racking for me, I just get very uncomfortable in front of a camera, even though I’ve done it plenty before, but regardless to if it’s been so long or not it still takes me time to adjust when in front of a camera, part of me doesn’t mind it, but there’s also a part of me that would rather not, yet I also find myself thinking about doing it again…..I’m a weird one okay, I’ve accepted it!

I’m also very expressive though, when I’m passionate about something I either talk with my hands or I move my whole body and this even happens when I’m writing, I can’t help it lol! I’m considering it very thoroughly though it’s always in the back of my mind, I feel like if it was something that I felt strongly to do where it kept coming to me…..I’d pick a random day that felt good to do it and then tell you about it after I’ve done it and that’s how you know I went for it by being very curious and then saying you know what “let’s try it” Prepare yourself because that just might happen!

P.S.

I uploaded another episode to my Podcast yesterday so I’m just updating this post to share it, it’s a bit of a weird episode somewhat, but I feel there may be charm with it, possibly lol, if you would like to check it out you can find it here: Let’s Talk: Months & Animal Crossing (Friday Mood) You can also listen to it on Spotify as well!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Writing Prompt Friday: Message In A Bottle (June 21, 2019)

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If someone told you to write a message and put it in a bottle to send out to sea, what would you write!? Maybe you don’t want to send it out to sea, but instead just wanted to write something and send it out a different way out of curiosity to who would find it and read it.

Would you even write anything and if you did would you send it out or keep it to yourself to read or leave alone!? We all have something we want to say, sometimes it’s hard to say it however, because it’s either, we’re not really open to express what it is that we feel, sometimes we think, if we say what’s in our heads it’ll be too much or it won’t be understood……

We may feel when saying something it won’t make sense and maybe we’re just rambling on about things that not even we understand once it leaves our mouths…….so with that a lot of the time we freak out and just don’t say anything because it feels easier, yet…..at the same time, it’s harder because you know you want to say something and you know it’s there, but for some reason it doesn’t come out and if it does, it doesn’t come out right…….

Which will then a lot of the time cause us to freak out more and from there we end up beating ourselves up for it and think “that was stupid” adding more and more pressure causing our thoughts to only expand in the worst things possible, asking yourself a million one questions, over analyzing and just getting so stuck in your head that you wonder, if you’ll ever get out!?

You might also wonder and ask yourself if whether you’re doing things right or just a whole lot of different questions that float around, causing your brain to just lose it’s own thoughts………tell me though, the picture above, what do you see when you look at it!? Probably nothing too special i’m sure, it might just be a random throw together creation and you might be right, but maybe some of you do see something to it, who knows.

When I look at it, I see waves just casually flowing by, but also something else I can’t, quite put my finger on at the moment……what kind of feeling do you feel when you look at it!? Maybe some of you don’t feel anything looking at it and maybe there’s a few that do feel something with it, maybe it’s the way you’re looking at it, everyone does sees things differently.

So what did you write!? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, it’s called a message in a bottle for a reason right!? Maybe it’s personal, embarrassing, or makes no sense just like this probably…….

If you do want to share however, i’ll listen.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

March 18, 2019

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

In my head I think………..and what is it I think you ask or wonder!? I think of where it is that i’m heading, what I should be doing and you know what!? I’ve been thinking this for a few years now……..i’m 24 in 2 months, pretty insane to think about when you still find yourself thinking on so much…….

They say you shape your own reality and the way i’ve been shaping mine, I know that it’s in need for a change, you know what they say when you feel or question whether you’re doing things right, it’s probably because you aren’t doing things right………right!? If you’re doing your best then you have nothing to worry about they say, am I doing my best, why do I have to always ask myself that question!?

Is it because we’re curious or do we actually feel that we aren’t!? Listening to everyone, seeing everyone and wondering what are their lives like, how do they do it, how did they do it!? Why should we even care, why do we even care, it’s us we should be focusing on, it us we should be asking ourselves how did we do that………but when you can’t ask yourself that, it can make you feel like your failing or you’re just not getting it……….

Mindset, it’s all in the mindset they tell you……….sometimes the mindset isn’t the greatest, but you have to dig deep and keep trying to find a way to get through to it, because deep down it knows, just like deep down you know………..it’s okay to ask yourself if you’re doing your best, it’s alright to wonder, but when you do just try and stay calm, because you know just as well as I do, stressing and thinking, never go well together…………

Just listen, try not to think so much, write things out if you have to!! When things are on paper you find that it can be easier to take in, but when it’s in your head it’s a little harder because everything just starts being scattered around everywhere, take a breath (like that Jonas Brothers song……if you don’t know it, just take a breath anyway)

If you find yourself freaking out more just relax…………keep your mind as calm as you can………there’s no need to go looking for what to do, you know what it is you want to do, it’s on your mind everyday without you even realizing it, all you need to do is believe that you can do it, believe that it will go well if you just give it a chance………..

I know it may be scary to see yourself as this person your afraid you won’t be able to live up to, but it’s time you come face to face and meet that person, believe me you have no idea how bad this person wants to meet you too!! You’re not this shy emotional person that you think you are……..

You have that light in you and that light has brought some great people in your life as well as other things………..it’s just really dim right now, but it doesn’t mean you can’t un dim it, you don’t need to be afraid of sharing that light you know, we all need a little light and you my friend, you’re one of the lights that we need, because whether you see it or not, you are needed……..you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t………….

You are more then what you see and you are more than what you feel and think………..you just have to feel and believe it for yourself, don’t let that wonder in you go positive wise, when it comes to the negatives though, you have to put it to the side……..it’s the only way that confidence in you will return and the only way you’ll get to meet and be that person you know deep down you are……………

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Curiosity & Meaning (Nov 28, 2018)

On By Daydreamer LexIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

This post doesn’t have a title yet as i’m writing this, but i’m sure once I finish writing i’ll figure one out. I’m not really sure how i’m gonna write about the topic i’m gonna touch upon, i’m just gonna let it come to me as i’m writing so hopefully this all makes sense somehow………alrighty so I can’t be the only one who does this, but I tend to find myself really looking into things when i’m sure that I don’t need to………? I don’t really know how to explain it, but anytime I feel something or something catches my attention I have to look into it, I don’t know why, but I just do, i’m always super curious on everything, it’s like I can see something or hear something and I feel the need to looking more into it instead of just taking it as I see or hear it the first time. 

For example whenever I see certain birds, bugs and sometimes numbers I always go and look up the meaning to why i’m seeing them if that makes sense. Like today for a example, I took my dog for a walk because she was going nuts so I took her out for a quick walk so she’d calm down and as I was walking I saw a lot of birds flying around, now it might not mean anything to you guys, you’re probably thinking “Okay cool, you saw birds, I see birds all the time too, what’s the big deal!?” I don’t know I can’t explain it, all I can say is, it’s different……..I wouldn’t look too much into it, if it was just me seeing them once and a while or just once you know, but when you start to see certain birds, bugs or even numbers more often then normal, yeah you might start to look into it a bit too, would you not!?

I know it probably sounds weird and you’re probably thinking i’m weird or something and that’s okay, I know that everyone is different……….I always feel that everything has a certain meaning to it though, which is why I tend to look into things way more than I should sometimes, I don’t know, I guess I like to get a better understanding to everything the best way that I can so that’s probably why, even if a lot of the things I look into don’t have much meaning at all. To go back to what I was previously talking about though, when I was coming back home all these different kind of birds just casually flew by me, but there were a few birds with the group of ones that flew past me, that caught my attention and those birds were: a Blue Jay, a Red Cardinal, a Robin and a Gray Mockingbird.

The Robin flew past me, along with the Blue Jay, as for the Gray Mockingbird, it was in a different tree and so was the Cardinal. As I was admiring the other birds, I heard a noise and when I turned around I got surprised when I came across a dog that I hadn’t run into for a while, normally I used to see this dog whenever I took a walk or when I would bring my dog along with me, now this dog is obviously own by other people of course, so I would only see it in the backyard of it’s home.

Every time I would walk by, it would come running towards the fence and bark at me, but after a while I stopped seeing it. I would walk sometimes and go looking to see if it was around and it wasn’t so I wasn’t sure whether the people moved or something so I stopped looking for it…..kinda i’d always take a small peak to the backyard to see if he was there……..he wasn’t……..today though, I didn’t look at the backyard and the one time where I don’t look, here he comes running towards the fence, barking, it caught me off guard because again I hadn’t seen that dog in a long time, so when I did I was happy and said hi and that it’s been a while, I don’t think the dog remembered me though, I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t either, but yeah that was interesting.

As I was walking back towards my house, I wasn’t really paying attention at first, so I don’t remember what happened exactly, all I remember is walking and then turning my gaze toward this bridge close to my house and I stop and looking at me was the Mockingbird. I was so amazed and shocked that I couldn’t take me eyes off it, it was so beautiful seeing it up close, normally if I saw it, it would be like away from me on a fence or in front of my house or something, but this time it was literally in front of me, well as close as i’m ever gonna get to it, it was sitting in between a tree, but we kinda I would say connected somewhat in a way or i’m probably looking way into it……..I know it probably sounds crazy, but I don’t know……..I felt a little sense of a connection with it, again it could just be me.

After seeing it and making eye contact with it, it flew past me onto another tree that was across the street from me. As I continued to walk I couldn’t help, but look back at the Mockingbird…….every step I took, I just looked back at it, I was just so amazed by it, it’s such a pretty bird, of course the other birds like the Blue Jay, Cardinal and Robin are too, but there was just something about the Mockingbird that stayed with me longer then if I were looking at the other birds I mentioned.

I’m sure that all of this won’t make any sense to you and that’s okay, I just wanted to share that with you guys. It’s weird because I find myself really looking more and more into certain things then normal people would, I was thinking to myself about when all of this started and I can’t really pin point when exactly, but I seem to find myself really curious to all these things i’m mentioning and I don’t really know or understand why, but I just do for some weird reason, I don’t know how to explain it. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~