Thoughts and Doodles…. (Nov 15, 2019) Updated

Close your eyes and breathe, while you’re breathing tell me what it is you see!? What do you feel, are you happy, sad, tired, what emotions are flowing over you right now!? These are the questions I decided to ask randomly…..

I actually wrote that starter intro a couple days ago with some other stuff, but ended up coming back and changing some things here and there, I know it’s been a while, a week or two more like since posting, it’s not that I haven’t been wanting to post, I just feel very selective on what I want to post, if I do write it tends to be more on the serious side to what i’m feeling.

Lately however my lack of writing has been due to me not having much to say other than what i’m feeling and the things that I felt we’re more anxious and stressed based then if I was just going to write a normal random post.

It’s for that reason as well as other stuff, to why I haven’t really been that active on my blog. I still would write, I just wouldn’t post all that I had written out already, plus with certain posts I just didn’t feel they needed to be posted, while i’ve been away though, i’ve been doing a whole lot of doodling, sorta drawing I guess you can say as well.

Sometimes you find that when words are unable to be written, there’s other ways to let your mind run wild and for me, doodling has been the stable for my thoughts to safely run about without going too crazy, the only thing is I tend to doodle when stressed or anxious, the most at least, I sometime doodle when i’m confused or just need to get my mind sorted a bit,

but my doodling comes mostly from my over anxiousness and the fact that I stress myself out too much and the fact that I overthink a lot too…..so the best way I find that works best to keep distracted is to grab my sketchbook and pencil and just let my mind do the talking.

Now i’m not the most extravagant drawer, well doodler in this case, I would say I have a more abstract way of drawing, unless i’m trying to really focus on making something, most of the time however it’s just spirals, lines, curves, swoops all the weird shapes you can probably think of maybe……

Sometimes it takes a bit of time for me to calm down while i’m doodling and scribbling about, because well i’m not really kind to myself the way I should be, still working on it…..but once I have calmed down, that’s when I fully go ahead and look at what i’ve put my pencil to paper on and really start to admire what my pencil had me create, it helps for the most part i’d say!!

I’ve created quite a few doodles already some are complete and already outlined, some are still pencil drawn and 2 out of 3 are outlined and colored in, the 3rd is still being colored, i’m not really sure with the colors i’ve chose, but i’m doing my best to work around it, i’ll get it i’m sure!!

Here’s two different showcases of what i’m talking about:

This was the first doodle/drawing that I attempted at, originally I tried to draw out this mat that we have outside my house, because I liked the way it looked, but it wasn’t going the way I wanted it, so I ended up improvising instead and it turned out like this:

Sun Doormat Attempt (Improvisation)

The sun in the middle is what my doormat had in the middle of it, so I kept that, it might look a little off or weird, but i’d say it has some character to it, looking at it though, it could be mistaken for some kind of flower, maybe!? Who knows, the colors I chose, well i’m not really sure what made me chose them, I just looked at it and felt those colors should go with it.

Also green, purple and blue are my three favorite colors, so they were the main colors I highlighted!!

Now as for the second one, i’m about to show you, you’ll see it right away i’m sure, I made this one later to the first one I made it’s a few pages after, but because it’s already finished I thought i’d share it with you guys:

Now I can’t remember the reasoning behind this one, it was just something within the moment I think I created with the help of whatever emotions I was feeling when I made this at the time…..the only thing I know for sure about this one is that I already knew what kind of feeling I wanted it to be, I wanted to use calming colors and so that’s what I did!!

Disclaimer:

There’s a drawing for this post and by that I mean this post came with a drawing, but I haven’t gotten to outlining and coloring it yet, so that’s why it’s not showcased, I do have it, it’s just still in pencil form, i’d share it, i’m just not sure if you’ll be able to see it because I pencil very lightly, but once I get to it, i’ll be sure to write a different post showing you the outline and color version of it.

Although it can be good to express using words, sometimes you have those moments where you come across a different outlet for you to use as an alternative when your main voice of expression simmers down a bit giving you a different kind of art platform to express on…….

One thing I admire about art, no matter the art form, but specifically on the topic of drawing, is you still get to say what you want, only you’re not having to say any words with it…..you can see it and interpret it however you feel, kinda like with music only slightly, but also a bit more different.

Do you guys ever doodle (scribble) when under pressure, relaxed or even just for fun!?

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Last Minute, Check In….

I thought about you today, as I know that today, well yesterday now was your birthday…..i’ll admit in my head I was slightly debating whether or not I should wish you a happy birthday or not, I kinda wanted to, but I didn’t, I didn’t forget about it though, how could I!? I hope you had a good time today and that you enjoyed yourself whatever you did, not sure if you did what you planned on doing originally or if you decided to save it for another day and just relax and enjoy your time with the day…….whatever you did or ended up doing, I really do hope you enjoyed yourself.

I hope you’re doing alright too, the last time we spoke you said you were happy and in a better place……I hope you’re still feeling like that, I always hope and want you to be good and i’ll always want you to be careful and safe as well, I know I didn’t have to write this, but I wanted to, it was in my mind to do so for some reason, I know your birthday’s over now where you are and it’s pretty late over there, but it’s still your birthday here and I just wanted to wish you a happy one and say I hope all is still well which i’m sure it is and that I hope you got to do something nice for it!!

I don’t think I have anything else I want to say, I just hope everything continues to go well for you and I hope you’re doing okay, there’s never a time I don’t wonder how you’re doing……but anyway, you keep safe and be careful and do always take care of yourself, happy birthday!!

All The Love ❤ ❤ ❤

~Lexa

November…..

Well it’s November already, October sure came and went didn’t it!? We’re getting closer to Christmas, but before we try and zoom by into the winter of wonderlands, we should really let this month sail nice and smoothly downwards before getting out the Christmas tree and letting deck the halls and let it snow play all over the place……

(not saying I don’t enjoy Christmas tunes, i’m just saying we really should let the months have their time in the spotlight and November is the month where we for some reason always feel the need to skip over, which I get it, November has Thanksgiving which isn’t all that big of a holiday, but still let’s give it the moment it needs, we’ll get to Christmas in time, it’s only another month away, i’m sure we can deal…….who am I kidding, November will always be that month that, people will continuously, yet quietly tell to move along…….)

Moving away from November being the “skip over” month, hope you all are doing well, long time no write I know, it’s been a pretty long while, 3 weeks i’d say……3 weeks today anyway, you might be wondering why I haven’t written in a while, well i’ll tell you, I kinda went and took a break from writing, there was a lot of stuff going on in my personal life,

plus I was feeling pretty stressed out and I just wasn’t doing well and needed to take a bit of time away, I ended up doing it naturally, it wasn’t until I was maybe close to 2 weeks in to where I actually went and wrote a post that I never posted expressing how I was going to take a break because there was just so much happening and going that I couldn’t even focus,

I wasn’t trying to keep from writing, I just didn’t feel the need to write, I didn’t have the mindset to write is what i’m trying to say, my head wasn’t in it and so that’s why I haven’t posted in a while. I was also going through my own thing that I needed to sort through, still trying to sort it all, it’s one of those things that’s going to take a bit of time, but compared to how I was feeling before to how i’m feeling right now……i’m okay, as okay as I can be anyway.

There’s still a lot that I feel needs work personally, a lot of work if i’m being honest…..but overall i’m okay, everything is pretty much in the okay bracket right now to be fair, this year has been quite the year I gotta say, I won’t say too much on it right now, but i’ll do my best to write a summary on it when I get the chance, sometime next month hopefully, I might have to pre write it so that way i’ll be able to have everything laid out even if what I have written down isn’t exactly what I have written down if that makes sense!?

For now, i’ll just share a little update as well as say i’m back from being away for a while, sorry for disappearing like that, I think that was the longest i’ve gone without writing……not good, but I hope you all have been doing well and you guys had a good October month as well as a fun and interesting Halloween, I didn’t really do much for Halloween,

It’s not really my favorite month, although I did watch a few Halloween classics (movies), well kinda, I watched maybe half of certain movies…..I think the only thing I enjoy about Halloween is the movies, the holiday isn’t bad though, I just don’t really celebrate it much, but it’s a pretty alright holiday, as for this month, we’re 2 weeks away from Thanksgiving, well from most it is, I know not everyone celebrates it, but it’s close by, which is pretty insane because soon December will be here, which means we’re coming extremely close to the end of the year that is 2019 and…..yeah…..

I’m just going to try and keep my head in the remaining days and months of this year and worry about everything else when it comes, not saying i’m not already thinking about the future, I am, believe me, but sometimes you gotta set a reminder for yourself that there has to be some kind of balance with it otherwise, you’re just going to end up losing your mind.

That’s the update, I should be good on getting back to posting now, but I just have to figure how much I want to be posting, it’ll come to me!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

A Process Not Too Far From Progress…..

If you were given the chance to wake up in a different world, would you!? I would just to see what it’s like for a moment…..everything is so out of wack these days, you think on whether everything will get better or if it’s just going to keep going the way it is!? Surely there has to be some kind of change, a more positive one at that right!? Sometimes you don’t know where you stand at times, whether you’re going in the right direction or if you’re just being a big ole” bobble head of a person on a certain day.

Yeah okay that last sentence was probably a weird one, but seriously it’s so hard to know how everything goes, where everything is supposed to go and if you’re able to handle it all…..most things just continue to come out of nowhere to the point where, you’re thinking whether or not you should keep a look out for something just in case something else pops up, but I guess it wouldn’t be life if those things didn’t happen right!?

It’s tough, you want to be able to keep your head up when things get a little too chaotic, but sometimes it always feels as though gravity just wants your head to be down all the time, that’s how strong negative energy is, no matter how strong you try your hardest to be, there’s always going to be a moment where you can’t help, but want to break down and just not be bothered and most people will tell you that it’s going to be okay and that things will get better, which isn’t wrong to say because it’s true,

However, sometimes it’s okay if things aren’t okay, it’s harder to try and feel positive when you’re feeling really down and out, then it is to actually let yourself feel the things your feeling. We all try and put brave faces on and seem as though we are bullet proof and that we can withstand anything, although that is true, we wouldn’t be able to do all of that, without feeling the unwanted and negative feelings that we feel. Without harsh wind storms, we wouldn’t have nice breezy days, without hurricanes, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy the calmness that the water brings, that might’ve rhymed, I don’t know, but what i’m trying to get at is, with bad comes good and with good comes bad, there’s a balance to it and with that balance,

We just need to know how to get it right or find a way to make it better somehow, sometimes it takes time and sometimes we’re able to pick it up pretty darn well, but if somethings is not okay, that’s okay and if something is okay, that’s okay!! We shouldn’t always have to feel as though we need to keep positive and not worry, it’s important to not do that of course especially if it’s excessive (is that the word!? Probably)

If you’re worrying and stressing it’s alright, it means you really care about something, if you didn’t care you wouldn’t feel those things, but just keep tabs on how much you let the meter go over…..I know it’s not always easy to keep things leveled, be it with emotions, hard days, thoughts, you name it!!

Sometimes those things do have a way at getting the better of us, but if we can handle it, we will and if not it doesn’t mean we won’t and can’t, life is hard and oh so very stressful most of the time, but life can also be pretty easy if we let it, will we!? Most likely not, but really it’s the way we choose to look at everything that will determine how well we get it right.

Just so everyone’s clear here, don’t worry i’m still learning this myself, it’s a process for everyone, but it’s a process that isn’t too far from progress…..

All The Love <3<3

~Lexa

A Message Yet To Be Sent……

Hey…..okay so I wasn’t expecting to be writing this, but here I am doing it, I knew I shouldn’t have checked, but I did, so now i’m writing this as an alternative to actually messaging you, in case you don’t answer, because who knows if you will answer, I mean who knows if you’ll even want to read this…….the first thing that I want to say, is how are you, I hope you’re doing well and that things have been going well for you, I haven’t forgotten about you nor have I stopped thinking of you either, I never stop thinking about you, i’ll be honest I don’t even know what exactly to say here, never has it been this way where we couldn’t just speak to each other………..

I just messaged you, I haven’t actually sent it yet though, I don’t know whether to do so or not, I might, might not, apart of me wants to, but don’t want there not to be an answer if she does, if you get it, then you’ll know I sent it, if not, it’s because i’m still thinking about it. I’m not going to make a big deal though, I just wanted you to know that. I don’t really know what else to say here, I guess it’s become easier not hearing from you, not that I don’t always hope to hear from you, I know we did talk a few days ago which was surprising, but also it was good hearing from you,

I was hoping I would, I don’t know if we’re still up for talking properly, I would like to, but it’s up to you if you still want to……either way I just hope you’re well and are okay……well anyway, i’ll stop writing now, you stay safe and be careful always and just know that I love you, always will!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

How To Get Organized: Seriously, How Do You Do That!?…….

When it comes to organizing, we all know that it feels good to see and know that everything is in place instead of all over the place, there’s 3 types of people, there’s those who are organized to the Z (now before you say it, I know it’s suppose to be “to the T” but there’s no T in organize so I went for Zed instead, it was either that or g and I didn’t think that fit well sooo, Z it was) but anyway back to what I was talking about, 3 types of people,

Those who are organize to the Z, leaving nothing out of place and keeping things in order where it needs to be, then you have those who are so disorganized that……I actually don’t have anything to go with this one, they’re just very disorganized what else can you really say!? Probably a good amount i’m sure, I have nothing though so, on to the 3rd type…..

Which are those who want to be organized, but aren’t sure how to be, so they kinda just freestyle with it and organize in their own kind of way to what they consider to be organized, but isn’t really, so it ends up being a combination of both where it’s slightly neat, but also pretty messy, however, in a way…..it works, for them of course!!

If you were to ask me what kind of of organize I was, I probably would pick the 3rd choice, why!? Because for one, I have a certain place for everything, which means I know where I want everything to go, as well as where i’ve put everything, that being said, i’m also pretty messy, everything is pretty much everywhere and when I do think about organizing everything properly…….I never know where to start with it.

So I kinda just put all my things in certain places, never asking if the places that i’ve put them in were good places, but hey at least I know where i’ve put them right!? I do try to keep organize, which makes everything seem cluttered which it isn’t really, it just seems like it, a lot of my stuff is on the floor and no not clothes……okay at the moment there might be that as well,

but I can pick those up i’m not that messy, I was just going through clothes to see what to wear, even though I picked something out before going to be last night, I then wasn’t sure if what I chose was good, but in the end I ended up wearing it anyway, but later discovered I wasn’t going anywhere….i’m still in my clothes, I haven’t changed out of it yet

What we’re we talking about again!? Ahhh right!! I was talking about having things on the floor, making everything seem cluttered, but really it’s just because I don’t know where to put everything, with organizing it’s not difficult, but at the same time it also is, especially when organizing isn’t really your biggest strong suit, anyone can get organized though, it’s the question on how to do it properly i’m sure, i’m not an expert, if I was I wouldn’t be writing this right now, i’d just be organized,

I can work my way around other things and keeping those things whatever they are, from taking up too much space or at least from having them be everywhere, keeping them nice and neat and that, which most people can do as well, but when it comes to my own stuff or anything around me, it’s all just scattered around and is a lot, which isn’t good I know, believe me i’ve been trying to get organized for a very long time, but it’s not that easy as you think it might be, unless you’re a pro at it then that’s a different story, but if you aren’t that much of a pro, it’s quite the challenge…..

At the moment, I have a half neat, half disorganized radar which i’m trying to upgrade, because to be honest, it’s needed desperately and I don’t say nor write that word often, because it’s not a word you want to have to use a lot……so if you don’t mind I have questions, but before we get to those questions, I just wanted to say, I actually have a book, not a personal book,

I have a book that i’ve read a bit is what I mean on how to tidy and keep organized, i’ve only read a few pages, haven’t actually finished it, I mean if you buy a book on how to be more organized, i’m pretty sure you’re suppose to apply most of those things to your lifestyle in order for it work, otherwise you’re just reading a book on how to get organized, without actually being organized, it’s meant to be a helpful guide pretty much.

Now i’m sure it’s not a hard book to follow, it’s just the whole where to start thing that gets me, I always have that problem, i’m just trying to finally sort it out…..so with that, on to the questions, okay maybe not questions, but more suggested tips, not from me to you, but you to me, just so that’s clear.

What do you, how do you……okay I don’t even know how to actually ask this……okay when you guys are needing or having to get organized, what do you actually start with!? How do you choose what to do first!? and i’m not only talking about a space, I know a clean and tidy space is a good place to start, but what about when it comes to just life in general, how do you manage to get things back into order, even when it’s a big mess!?

It’s one thing I know to have the space you’re in clear of clutter and kept in a well rounded calm and relaxing atmosphere, plus a bunch of other things, but how do you manage to keep everything else in tact, minus the stress, I mean I know stress is unavoidable, when there’s a lot happening, so to rephrase that, how do you keep it at a minimum level, when trying to get organized!? I don’t know a whole lot about staying organized to the Z,

I would like to learn more on how to do it though, so if any of you have tips that you find works or have worked for you that you wouldn’t mind sharing, that could be helpful for me to maybe try and use as well, as a guide or just something to keep in mind, it would really mean a lot!!

Learning to be a bit more organized is something that I feel is needed in my life and if there’s any tips that could help me to be a little better at it while keeping me calm at the same time, I would love you guys forever…..I know that probably sounded weird, sorry, it would just really help is all, but anyway that is all I have for this post, I hope you all had a good day and are doing well and I hope you’re having a goodnight as well!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Rain With A Little Self Care…..(Oct 16, 2019)

I think i’m just going to free write today if that’s okay, what I mean by free write is i’m just going to allow myself to write whatever ends up wanting to be written and not over think it. Let’s start with the day, it was a pretty cloudy and gloomy day today, right now as i’m writing this it’s pretty much pouring outside as we speak, well as I write and you read more like.

Today started out a bit spacey in terms of me feeling spacey, i’m sure you got that though, I wasn’t feeling super spaced out, i’ve just been in this zone, it’s hard to describe……it was a mixture of alright and not alright, I just keep having this feeling of wonder where it’s slightly stressing, but i’m trying to not over stress about it, i’ve been trying to write a post all day, but it’s taken me until i’ve gotten home to actually properly sit and write without being distracted, I find I write better when it’s quiet, plus the quiet, helps me stay focus, I was listening to music earlier and although I was writing something

It was taking me quite some time and I still haven’t finished it, this is actually a new post i’m writing, so it’s completely different to what I started writing earlier on to the self care part of the day, so I went for my very first facial today, i’ll admit I was feeling a bit weird and maybe a tiny bit nervous, I know there’s no need to be nervous when your getting a facial,

I was okay when I was having to go in for the session, although I was still feeling weird about it, i’ve never gotten a facial before so I didn’t know what to expect from it, plus i’ve stated before how great I am with self care and when I say great I mean, it’s a new world for me, because I don’t do it often so there’s that, but once I got in and the facial was happening,

I actually found it quite nice and I felt it to be pretty easy relaxing, which is another thing that i’m really great at, hoping you’re picking up on the sarcasm that i’m throwing down there, no but seriously, it was pretty nice, the lady doing my facial was pretty nice too, not sure if you’re meant to talk when you’re getting a facial, but I did, luckily the lady was fine with it and we had a nice chat during the whole thing, I learned some stuff and got to know her just a little, it was good, it made the facial experience worth it i’d say, it was only a 60 min facial, you know you’d think that’d be pretty long,

60 mins, but man did it go by quickly I didn’t even realize she was finished, I didn’t really want to leave afterwards, but I guess with the conversation and the relaxing atmosphere along with the facial session as a whole, I guess the time would by smoothly when you think about it, but yeah it was pretty good, I got some stuff for my face to be able to maintain and keep my skin clean and fresh. I had to get the lady (Leah was her name, in case you’re wondering hopefully i’m okay to say that, it should be fine though)

To write down small steps to follow with the products so I would be able to follow along okay, since it was my first time being given a proper skin care kit that works best with my skin, she explained everything well with what order to use them in and how to properly apply them, but because I know the way I am, when it comes to how to do things when it’s something new to me, I asked her to write it down so I wouldn’t somehow mess it up or something and she did which was helpful so i’ve got that info down,

but yeah first time facial was pretty alright, I was feeling a certain way earlier and after getting that done, my mood shifted into a better one I guess you can say, not that I was having a horrible day, but I felt a lot different afterwards which was good, although the weather wasn’t the greatest to probably get a facial, i’m glad I still went and got one.

So that was my day, well now yesterday it’s midnight now as i’m finishing up this post, I know I probably should’ve gotten it done earlier, but anyway i’m going to head on to sleep now, pretty tired, I hope you all had a good day yesterday and I hope you have another good one today.

I hope you’re all doing well too, alright you all have a goodnight and I shall see you all in my next post, before I go though real quick…..

Have any of you ever gotten a facial before and if so…….what was your experience with it like!?

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa