Curiosity & Meaning (Nov 28, 2018)

This post doesn’t have a title yet as i’m writing this, but i’m sure once I finish writing i’ll figure one out. I’m not really sure how i’m gonna write about the topic i’m gonna touch upon, i’m just gonna let it come to me as i’m writing so hopefully this all makes sense somehow………alrighty so I can’t be the only one who does this, but I tend to find myself really looking into things when i’m sure that I don’t need to………? I don’t really know how to explain it, but anytime I feel something or something catches my attention I have to look into it, I don’t know why, but I just do, i’m always super curious on everything, it’s like I can see something or hear something and I feel the need to looking more into it instead of just taking it as I see or hear it the first time. 

For example whenever I see certain birds, bugs and sometimes numbers I always go and look up the meaning to why i’m seeing them if that makes sense. Like today for a example, I took my dog for a walk because she was going nuts so I took her out for a quick walk so she’d calm down and as I was walking I saw a lot of birds flying around, now it might not mean anything to you guys, you’re probably thinking “Okay cool, you saw birds, I see birds all the time too, what’s the big deal!?” I don’t know I can’t explain it, all I can say is, it’s different……..I wouldn’t look too much into it, if it was just me seeing them once and a while or just once you know, but when you start to see certain birds, bugs or even numbers more often then normal, yeah you might start to look into it a bit too, would you not!?

I know it probably sounds weird and you’re probably thinking i’m weird or something and that’s okay, I know that everyone is different……….I always feel that everything has a certain meaning to it though, which is why I tend to look into things way more than I should sometimes, I don’t know, I guess I like to get a better understanding to everything the best way that I can so that’s probably why, even if a lot of the things I look into don’t have much meaning at all. To go back to what I was previously talking about though, when I was coming back home all these different kind of birds just casually flew by me, but there were a few birds with the group of ones that flew past me, that caught my attention and those birds were: a Blue Jay, a Red Cardinal, a Robin and a Gray Mockingbird.

The Robin flew past me, along with the Blue Jay, as for the Gray Mockingbird, it was in a different tree and so was the Cardinal. As I was admiring the other birds, I heard a noise and when I turned around I got surprised when I came across a dog that I hadn’t run into for a while, normally I used to see this dog whenever I took a walk or when I would bring my dog along with me, now this dog is obviously own by other people of course, so I would only see it in the backyard of it’s home.

Every time I would walk by, it would come running towards the fence and bark at me, but after a while I stopped seeing it. I would walk sometimes and go looking to see if it was around and it wasn’t so I wasn’t sure whether the people moved or something so I stopped looking for it…..kinda i’d always take a small peak to the backyard to see if he was there……..he wasn’t……..today though, I didn’t look at the backyard and the one time where I don’t look, here he comes running towards the fence, barking, it caught me off guard because again I hadn’t seen that dog in a long time, so when I did I was happy and said hi and that it’s been a while, I don’t think the dog remembered me though, I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t either, but yeah that was interesting.

As I was walking back towards my house, I wasn’t really paying attention at first, so I don’t remember what happened exactly, all I remember is walking and then turning my gaze toward this bridge close to my house and I stop and looking at me was the Mockingbird. I was so amazed and shocked that I couldn’t take me eyes off it, it was so beautiful seeing it up close, normally if I saw it, it would be like away from me on a fence or in front of my house or something, but this time it was literally in front of me, well as close as i’m ever gonna get to it, it was sitting in between a tree, but we kinda I would say connected somewhat in a way or i’m probably looking way into it……..I know it probably sounds crazy, but I don’t know……..I felt a little sense of a connection with it, again it could just be me.

After seeing it and making eye contact with it, it flew past me onto another tree that was across the street from me. As I continued to walk I couldn’t help, but look back at the Mockingbird…….every step I took, I just looked back at it, I was just so amazed by it, it’s such a pretty bird, of course the other birds like the Blue Jay, Cardinal and Robin are too, but there was just something about the Mockingbird that stayed with me longer then if I were looking at the other birds I mentioned.

I’m sure that all of this won’t make any sense to you and that’s okay, I just wanted to share that with you guys. It’s weird because I find myself really looking more and more into certain things then normal people would, I was thinking to myself about when all of this started and I can’t really pin point when exactly, but I seem to find myself really curious to all these things i’m mentioning and I don’t really know or understand why, but I just do for some weird reason, I don’t know how to explain it. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Tuesday’s Journal Entry: Sit and Enjoy The Day With Me (Sept 18, 2018)

Hiya everyone, I hope that the day is treating you all well, I wanted to share a bit of my day from yesterday with you guys, like how I spent 3 HOURS, yes you read that right 3 hours at the park, that’s the longest i’ve ever spent in the park and I was by myself, normally if I spend longer than an hour at the park or anywhere for that matter, i’m there with someone, but yeah no I literally was in the park for 3 hours and if you’re wondering why I spent that long at the park well in all honesty i’m not sure, it just started out with me going for a walk and normally go to the park for an hour, but when I arrived there I walked around a bit and then went and sat down on one of the benches.

I went to sit on the one that I normally sit on, but it was wet from it raining a bit in the morning or night and so I ended up sitting on the bench across from the one I always sit on and to be honest I think I like that bench a bit more than the other, i’m sure you’re probably thinking what i’m on about and that they’re just benches and i’d say yeah you’re right, but that’s just me……moving on, the weather was something yesterday, it looked like it was gonna rain again, but it didn’t, it was half sunny and half cloudy, but you knew that it was gonna rain at some point, you just didn’t know when. With the way it was the weather, I thought it was gonna rain while I was at the park writing, although I enjoy the rain, I wouldn’t have loved it if it rained while I was writing, however it didn’t rain while I was there so that was quite nice.

I sat on the bench for a good while, I brought my thought journal with me and started writing while also listening to music, I was listening to one of my favorite artist her name’s Alexz Johnson, sometimes you just need a muse or inspiration to write to and she was the first person I thought of listening to, it was a really nice day. This is gonna sound a bit random, but I took a few breaks from writing to take in everything and admire the scenery around me while I was at the park and I would say one of my favorite moments would have to be watching dragonflies fly about, I don’t know, it was just great to watch because they just fly around without a care in the world.

Being there for 3 hours, was actually quite nice, I didn’t expect to be there for as long as I was, I mean I did bring my journal to do a little bit of writing, but I didn’t realize I was writing so much in my thought journal. When I realized it was 12pm, I stopped writing, even though I wasn’t quite finished with what I was writing, I figured though I was there since about 10am so I felt it was time to get back home, another reason was because it was going to rain and I didn’t want to be there when it started, however it didn’t work, because after I left the park I went to Dunkin Donuts to grab a coffee and a donut as well because I wanted it. There wasn’t really anyone in the Dunkin Donuts when I went not until I was leaving anyway.

When I left and started heading back home that’s when it started to rain so even though I left the park early, I still ended up getting caught in the rain which I didn’t really mind anyway because I love the rain, however it was starting to come down pretty hard, not too hard, but enough to get soaked in, so my plan to get home before the rain came down, yeaaah it didn’t really go through……but I enjoyed it. It was getting a little windy though, but it was still pretty okay even though I was soaked. For some reason I get happy when it rains, i’m not quite sure why, but there’s just something about the rain that makes me very happy inside, after having a pretty alright day yesterday, I came back home and just did my best to stay warm considering it was very cold and all.

That was pretty much my day yesterday, I only wanted to share this with you all because I actually enjoyed myself and it was quite nice to just be in the park for that long with just me, I don’t normally do that so it was different, but yeah that was my day yesterday, it wasn’t anything big, I just really enjoyed the day, anyway I hope that you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening.

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

 

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash