Levels Of Growth

Maaan has it been a while since my last post, it’s not yet been a month, but it’s been a while! Honestly I’ve wanting to write something for the longest, yet nothing ever sparked my interest enough to say “yeah this might be a good thing to talk about” We’re already in the middle of April and each day that came by I would just say to myself, I haven’t written not one thing this month and maybe that’s alright, but to me I just felt like What is going on there!? Today however, I feel a little bit inspired to write so I shall take whatever this inspiration is and do my best to just go with it! It feels good to write something that I can share after a long while….

Now before we continue on, I just want to say that I have been writing this month, I just haven’t written anything to share, my writing have been more personal based these days, I guess that’s just where I’m at currently, which I know isn’t a bad thing, but still I have been wanting to share something and I guess that’s where this post comes in! As you can see I’ve titled this post levels of growth, why exactly? That’s a good question, let’s just say it was something that felt right to title here…..growth is a significant thing that we all experience in our lifetime constantly, be it a small growth or a really big way of transforming…sometimes we can see it pretty clear and sometimes we don’t always know when the next transformation will be….we can sense it and feel it coming, but we don’t always know, but that’s the beauty of it yeah!?

Life has many ways of challenging you, as well putting you in a postition of what you feel to be the best way to grow and trive, but it doesn’t mean that it’s entirely easy…..it can be as simple as choosing your favorite game to play or what kind of snack you’re in the mood for, I know pretty weird seeing it that way, but what I mean by that is life is that simple most times, it’s just other things that can make it seem difficult! When you look at the word Growth on it’s own, it makes you feel something doesn’t it? You know it’s got an importantance to it, yet the word looks simple, it doesn’t really look all that intimidating when you’re just reading the word….but the feel and experience that comes with it can be quite frightening when you’re looking at it more deeply.

It’s like when admiring a flower, you wouldn’t think they’re able to harm you, but look at roses, although they’re very beautiful to look at, you got to be careful when picking them, because they hold thorns….if you look at cacti you know not to touch them because you can see all the little needles it’s got, but even with knowing that people like to have them as plants and then there’s the Aloe plant although it’s got healing abilities, it too has it’s own thorns/needles, if you really think about though, the Aloe plant kind of has an accidental proneness connected to it, I say that beacause even when it hurts you, it’s character speaks loud without actually talking and it let’s you know “Oh i’m sorry, didn’t mean to hurt you, here let me help you”

I know this is probably getting off track, I was trying to make a point where I explain how just like some flowers have a bit a gray area, so does growth, I don’t know if I tied it in nicely enough, but hopefully it makes some kind sense! Anyway back to what I was saying….we all experience growth differently and sometimes it can be hard to embrace different levels of it, due to the fact that it can require a lot of braveness, courage and strength to help unlock that next transformation that we’re needing and majority of the time, however you feel yourself growing and changing, it’s not always going to be ideal for others, even those who are close to you….

You see for some, even when you are putting it out there how much you’ve progressed and evolved, sometimes it doesn’t get taken seriously and it can get very frustrating, because although your doing your best to show and let people know who you are and who you kind of always been deep down…..it can feel like they’re not really seeing you the way you’re wanting them to and are still sorta treating you the same, even when you know you’ve grown from that point. There’s going to come a moment where you know that, even though you may not want to, you’re going to have to do something so out of character where they have no choice, but to notice and really get them to see and think to themeselves “this is not the same person that I know”

After the reactions, you will probably most definitely feel a bit of a shift following that experience and to be honest there’s probably going to be some hurt involved and that’s going to probably hurt you, but with growth, you have to be strong and brave, you have to hold that courage inside otherwise what was it for!? If you want people to start seeing YOU and taking you more seriously…..you can’t be afraid to push back! Now even if you happen to leave someone hurt….don’t see it as an automatic negative experience, growth comes in many forms and although we all like life to be smooth sailing…..it’s not always going to be like that, there will be moments where you have to choose the road that involves a bit more…..deep breathing to get through and you will have to make a choice!

We always hear, take the road less traveled and I’m starting to realize and understand that, the road less traveled gives you the most experiences and how you choose to travel through it really comes down to what you feel inside and what your inner compass/heart is leading you toward….so if you feel you want to go a specific way, but you have people telling you to do it a certain way, you have to go with your own feelings, because at the end of the day….it’s your journey, we all share life, but we all have our way of living it, so if you feel strongly about something and you want to do it…..do it…..even if it requires you to go into the unknown of it and it may upset people, we shouldn’t have to feel like we can’t do something because it’ll make someone upset!

Sometimes we can get caught up in what others are saying, that we forget we have our own voice too and we don’t have to always go by what they say, if they can’t support you in the journey you choose for yourself then you have to know that it’s not on you to make them understand, cause they’re either going to understand by you be honest and letting them know right away or by you saying I’m going to do it anyway whether you like it or not and who knows maybe you’ll get the combination which can be more challenging and if you do get them both, it just shows you got more edge to you and your a badass kind of person!

Whatever is in your heart to do, please don’t hold yourself back, growth is scary, yes, but it’s also necessary for you to grow into the person you feel yourself to be….so with all that said, I shall leave you all with a quote, one of my favorites actually ^_^

“Don’t Hold Back, For Anyone…..The Further You Go, The Prouder I’ll Be”

Ming-Turning Red

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

M O N D A Y S!

Mondays are the days that begin again, it brings connection which allows the rest of the days to follow soon after! We often see Mondays in a Garfield the cat sort of way, it’s not everyone’s favorite day, but the way I like to see it, with Mondays you get more of a clean slate with it. Monday’s aren’t really a favorite of mine either, but I have grown to appreciate it a little more, it’s not a bad day specifically it all just comes down to what actually transpires within the day that can leave it feeling like the best day ever or the most crappiest day ever, but it also comes to how well you handle and get through the day in the start of the week!

Mondays can always feel like a chore to get through, but the reason for that isn’t the day itself, but the energy we put out with it, we look at Monday’s and think “Ugh” not realizing that those thoughts have the ability to lead out the rest of our days for that week. It’s true…..the energy that you put out will always be the energy that is given back to you, it’s a reflection and if you keep the reflection the same, you leave no room for it to be different….unless you switch up the energy!

You can still feel those emotions, you just got to be mindful of them…..which can be a bit hard, to be quite honest, I struggle with this sort of problem, now I don’t mean in a sense of not liking Mondays, like I said I’ve grown to respect Mondays, I see it in a different way and feel it to have a specific theme! To explain it, would be hard, so it may not make much sense! The way I look at it, is…..we all feel the days differently in a more deeper way that can be hard to pin point, yet it still feels to be of some kind of importance, now what kind of importance it is, comes down to what it feels like to you!

I’ll try and give an example the best way I’m able to, so it can kind of make sense…to me, Mondays have this sort of putting pen to paper kind of thing to it, so brainstorming in a way, preparing for whatever it is that needs preparing and working towards how you want the rest of the week to play out, not in a busy way, but in a more efficient way that’s not going to leave you feeling like there’s still loads to do at the end of it! I also feel music to be involved in some way, but that’s because I love music, but for some reason for me I think of Mondays and music comes to mind first, but it also has that feeling of coming across something new, new music, new video games, potential ideas of some sort those kind of things, just full of new discoveries!

Mondays have a practice vibe to it, it’s not about getting everything done all at once, but just trying to figure out efficient ways of doing things, learning to include the practice of managing things better and seeing how well you’re able to prepare yourself in a more still kind of way if that makes better sense….if it doesn’t that’s okay, but that how I always feel Mondays to be like at least to me when thinking about it!

Now I may have wrote all of this, but it doesn’t mean I’ve mastered any of it….it’s actually one of the things I struggle with, knowing how to prepare things out properly, now planning may not be a strong suit of mine, I’m more with the go with the flow kind of girl, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying to figure it out, eventually it will click and I’ll know that I will better understand it in a way that it becomes second nature in way, it just comes with practice same with everything else!

Back to the whole energy of Monday’s though, hopefully I didn’t get too off track there and that this all still makes sense, my deliveries aren’t always the greatest I know, but to wrap everything up in a somewhat slightly nice slanted bow…..Monday’s don’t have to always seem so draggy and chore daunting, it can be fun and full of excitement, you just have to give it the energy you want out of it and shield off any negative projectiles coming at you the best way you can….really it just comes down to making the best out of a situation and being mindful of what thoughts and emotions you’re giving off for the day!

If you start the week off in a panic….the rest of day is going to be filled with chaos most likely (not always) but it will feel like it! If you wake up thinking to yourself “I just want it to be Friday already” knowing the week just started then don’t be surprise when you feel it to be Wednesday, but it’s actually Tuesday! We have to try and give each day the best energy we can, we don’t have to be feeling 100%, however if the day is feeling super crappy, find something that will help change up that crappy energy or if you find it’s going slow….and you’ve done everything you needed to do that day….don’t be afraid to use that extra time on yourself if it’s needed!

Maybe there’s something you meant to do, but never got around for, you can always use that extra time for that thing you’ve been wanting to do….if you have that extra time, try and see in what ways you can use it! Maybe you don’t have that extra time and the day has flown away from you, if that’s the case try not to get too upset on not getting all that you wanted done that day, like I said not everything needs to be done all at once…..allow yourself to leave room for what hasn’t been done then for another time, because 9/10 it’s meant for another time, allow yourself to finish up what it is your doing in the moment and leave what you weren’t able to do for later.

Mondays are at the beginning of the week for a reason…..we need Monday in order for the other days to flow properly without, it would always feel like something is missing…..Mondays are what a blank canvas is before the creativity start flowing, it’s about preparation in getting things ready before you’re really ready to go, that’s what Monday’s mean to me, maybe it means something different to you! Feel free to share what you feel when you think of Mondays!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Last Month Of Summer….

Good Afternoon Everyone, Happy August….that is if this month started off well for you! If it didn’t I hope it goes better from here on out, I mean we’re only on the second day so don’t worry on it too much, sometimes we have slow startups, but that doesn’t mean we won’t get going eventually! Farewell July and welcome August, the last month of the Summer….how mad is it that Summer is practically over and we’re getting closer to the Autumn season!? I’d say pretty mad, although I always feel summer flies by normally, however Summer this year, has stayed for quite a while so the fact that we’re just now reaching the end of Summer, that’s the mad part to me at least!

The start of August started a little rocky, by rocky I mean more on a personal manner, it kind of followed in toward the end of the July month and started on a less of a high note with the start of this month, but the rest of the day yesterday wasn’t all bad, there weren’t great moments, but it wasn’t too bad! I want to say that I know what this month will have in store, but I’m going to hold off on saying that, do I have an inkling on what I feel this month will be like!? Not really….but I have a lot of hope that whatever it turns out to be that it’ll be good!

July was a bit of an up and down month, well to me anyway, It might’ve been different for you guys and if so I’m glad that you had a good month last month, when it comes to August who knows what it’ll be like, just because it may have started off a little rough, doesn’t mean that it won’t turn around! August may start off delayed for a lot of people and if that is happening try not to get too worked up about it, it being a bit delayed may just mean that something needs a little more time to make progress or need times to be able to really get the ball rolling on whatever important decisions you find yourself unable to really make a definite choice on, which is alright!

We may just need that extra moment of thought or whatever it is we feel is needed even if we may not know or really see it if that makes sense!? Everything is going to turn out alright, some of us just maybe need to wait it out a bit or let it take natural form in a way that we have yet to witness, who knows maybe it’s already happened for a lot of you already, it may have started that way at the end of last month and there’s a possibility that it’s continuing to make that progress that you will eventually see unfold one by one, it’s just a matter of time!!

Again, if it isn’t happening like that right away, don’t freight, it will, it just might need a little more time to get started! Like I said I have a lot of hope that August will be a promising month full of surprises and new beginnings, be it planned or unplanned, I guess we’ll have to wait to find out!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Hiii…..Happy Late New Yeeear Along With All The Other Holiday’s Prior!!

Alright let’s get this all out of the way without being awkward about it!! I’ve been gone for quiiite a while now as most or some may have noticed, my last post was back in October of last year, but as we all know we’re now in the year of 2021, it’s a bit crazy when you think about it I know!! Now we are in mid January close to moving to a New month, but we’ve still got a couple more days to this month before we transition over to that month so don’t go worrying too much about it!!

You might be wondering why i’ve been away for quite some time and the truth to that is……there was nothing for me to bring here…..I didn’t have much to say…..i’ve been also trying to figure out a lot of things in terms of not just new ideas, but I wanted to bring for myself, now whether that makes sense or not is to tell…..I didn’t feel happy with a lot of things, as much as I tried to share here, nothing ever felt important to share and because of that…..I just felt like I needed to step back from the things that I was doing within that time.

There was a lot of sorting that was needed from me and I felt and knew that, i’d like to say that i’ve sorted it all and i’m all good to go, but the truth is that’s not the case lol, there are still things that i’m working on, but from where I was and where i’m at now i’ve gotten a bit better that i’ve had the most trouble with, that aside I do still feel like I have a bit more to go before i’d say i’m at least 80-95% good!! 100% is a little too high right now for me to rate, but i’m in no rush to get to that percentage if i’m being honest I know i’ll get there eventually!!

In terms to how i’m feeling, obviously you have your days, that’s just part of being human, but for the most part i’d say i’ve been pretty alright, I feel good, but not GOOD with capital letters, it’s a little hard to explain,

I guess it’s kinda like a temperature thermostat, but instead of it telling you where you’re at on a hot/cold scale, it tells you where you’re at on a feeling scale and mine is at pretty alright/good, pretty alright is the middle and good (lower case letters) is just above it!! That’s where i’m at right now overall, which is good for me for now, I still worry about a lot of things that’s never going to change, but i’ve been slowly trying to embrace things more which is still new to me, but i’ve gotten better at it that I can say!!

I like to say that i’m still a work in progress, but slowly, yet surely I feel myself getting there little by little and i’m happy with myself about that, I still feel scared a lot of time with not really knowing where i’m going next, but that’s a fear within me that i’m doing my best to get over, I have been thinking of ideas where I have in mind of heading next, it’s something I have yet to try, but it’s something that has caught my interest and once I sort that all out i’ll speak of it more later down the line of course….

I do have another idea in mind that i’m probably going to try to mix in with my other idea, however this idea is one i’ve already had in my head for a while now…..again still have to sort it out first, obviously i’ll be doing it one by one because that’s the only way i’ll be able to fully give attention to it, but that’s just the half of it kinda….i’ve already written down slight notes to what I have in mind so i’d have an idea of how to do it, but because it’s something new and something that i’ve yet to try, I get nervous about it not knowing how it’s going to be, but if i’ve learned anything lately it’s to just let things happen when they happen and try not to think about it too much….which is something i’m still getting used as you can tell ha……

I’m sure once I get there, everything will just come through right then there, I just have to not think too much on it and let myself explore and figure it out on the way as scary as it may be and all, I just have to keep my focus on one thing at a time and know that everything else will follow along in the time that it’s supposed to. Excited, yet terrified in a good way of course!! I hope you all have been well and that this year has been treating you well, if you too are still on the journey of discovery of ones self,

know that no matter how worried you may be or how scared you may be…….it’s okay to feel that way….just take it one by one and whatever moment you’re in right now, embrace it and let it lead you somewhere you’d never think of going, in someway it’s bound to surprise you with where it takes you and wherever that may be….I wish you all the best on your adventures ^_^ Happy New Year and here’s to unexpected journey’s!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Now Playing: Keep Your Head Up By Andy Grammer

I’ve been coming across this song a bit more these days, I rarely listen to it unless i’m listening to the songs off my phone and even then I don’t hear it very often, I think it only tends to come on when i’m in a low mood and that’s probably the reason it finds it’s way through my shuffle whenever i’m listening to the music on my phone and not on Spotify or Youtube…….

Even though I rarely hear it, I would still consider it a favorite of mine, all time favorite……maybe i’m not sure, but it is a song that I really like and also one that I find myself singing along to whenever I hear it, now I know Andy Grammer has a lot of songs, but I only know I believe two songs from him, this one and Honey I’m Good, for all I know though, I might’ve heard his other ones too, but haven’t realized it, but I really do like this song

It’s one of those songs where if you’re ever feeling a little doubtful with what you’re doing or with things in general, listening to this song can really help as a mood booster and give you that bit of confidence and some reassurance that regardless to how we may feel and how we think most of the time, we shouldn’t let the negatives get to us so much…….

With this song you really can appreciate the lyrics to what Andy has written here, it’s a reminder that no matter how rough things can get and no matter what we may say to ourselves and think, we should always keep our heads up and find a way to look towards the positives and just do our best to keep going, as well as trust that it’ll all be alright and will all work out in the end.

Now that all being said it’s not always easy to do those things, but as long as we try and are mindful with how we think and feel, we’ll find that it’s not always so hard, it’s just the knowing and awareness of it, as well as allowing ourselves to be okay and accept that everything is process and whatever progress we make big or small, everything will turn out alright, we just have to do our best to keep going and keep our heads from looking towards the ground too much, it may take some reminding, but know that’s okay!!

Here’s the song if you guys want to listen to it: Keep Your Head Up By Andy Grammer it’s an old song, but it’s still pretty darn good if you ask me……I hope all of you all are having a good weekend and are all well!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Processing….

You ever have a moment happen whether it was unexpected or not so unexpected and you happen to just go within that moment for a second not really knowing what to expect, but once you find yourself in it it’s not until after to where you really realize what just happened and so you find yourself just still trying to process what actually happened!?

Sometimes you have to take a moment and take things in a lot of the time it won’t really make sense and sometimes you’ll find yourself asking a lot of questions, but even when we aren’t quite sure on what exactly is going on taking the time to process things can really help you to think clearly about everything. We don’t always know what is the best way to process things at times, I don’t think there’s really a right way to process…….

I think you’re just meant to process it how you’re feeling it in the moment, depending on what you’re feeling, it might leave you filled with emotions or other feeling and sometimes you won’t always be able to control them, but as long as we do our best to keep things calm especially when not really all that prepared, then the process won’t really seem all that much, it’s also important to make sure that when we find ourselves thinking of things that need a little bit of a moment to process, we don’t go overthinking about it for too long, when we allow our brains to overthink, we give it too much power and we end up having a hard time trying to quiet it down.

So whenever it comes to processing, we just have to try and keep calm and keep our brains from over flowing with thoughts and know that if we need to feel what we’re trying to process, it’s okay to feel them feel them, when we allow ourselves to feel while processing everything, we let any pent up emotions we’ve been burying surface and allow them to release from our system, allowing us to feel a little lighter, letting the rest of our thoughts come to us a little more clearer…….fully processing things even when we don’t quite get it in the moment, can really help make things a bit easier.

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

For The Moment….

For the moment, you have to let it go, I know it’s hard and you may not want to, but for the moment you have to, it’ll come back around, you just have to give it time to do so, everything takes time, no matter how fast we may want it to go or how bad we want it to happen, it’s still going to take time, if we tried to rush everything we had going on, we wouldn’t be able to see all the progress we’ve made along the way, when we try and rush things we don’t give it the time it needs to fully unfold, sure it can turn into a stressful matter because we don’t know how everything will play out….

Not knowing can get pretty frustrating, but trying to rush things to happen is much more frustrating, because you’re expecting there to be quick results, you’re wanting everything to happen right away, you gotta give it the time it needs to come together, what is yours, will always be there for you, it’s not going anywhere, just because it may go for a while doesn’t mean that it’s going to go forever, it’s still there, but sometimes it has to go away in order for it to come back to you better.

It’s not always clear why and at times it’s not going to be and that’s okay, but you need to know there’s nothing to worry about, things just need time, you gotta give it time, trust that everything is working in the order it needs to, for the moment let the worries, stress and everything else go, put it to the side and let the control of wanting everything to play out a certain way go.

Everything will soon fall into place, but for the moment let it go, anytime you’re feeling this way, look back at this post or find a way to sit with this feeling and accept it, don’t fight it so much, instead try and look at it with different eyes, try to understand it and even if you don’t truly get it, know that that’s okay, but don’t feel you need to give up, you don’t have to give up,

Just GIVE IT TIME, LOOSEN UP and relax, stop stressing, it’s going to work out and it will come together, so take a breather, recollect and trust, keep that hope close to you and keep it in a place of safe keeping until then.

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

A Process Not Too Far From Progress…..

If you were given the chance to wake up in a different world, would you!? I would just to see what it’s like for a moment…..everything is so out of wack these days, you think on whether everything will get better or if it’s just going to keep going the way it is!? Surely there has to be some kind of change, a more positive one at that right!? Sometimes you don’t know where you stand at times, whether you’re going in the right direction or if you’re just being a big ole” bobble head of a person on a certain day.

Yeah okay that last sentence was probably a weird one, but seriously it’s so hard to know how everything goes, where everything is supposed to go and if you’re able to handle it all…..most things just continue to come out of nowhere to the point where, you’re thinking whether or not you should keep a look out for something just in case something else pops up, but I guess it wouldn’t be life if those things didn’t happen right!?

It’s tough, you want to be able to keep your head up when things get a little too chaotic, but sometimes it always feels as though gravity just wants your head to be down all the time, that’s how strong negative energy is, no matter how strong you try your hardest to be, there’s always going to be a moment where you can’t help, but want to break down and just not be bothered and most people will tell you that it’s going to be okay and that things will get better, which isn’t wrong to say because it’s true,

However, sometimes it’s okay if things aren’t okay, it’s harder to try and feel positive when you’re feeling really down and out, then it is to actually let yourself feel the things your feeling. We all try and put brave faces on and seem as though we are bullet proof and that we can withstand anything, although that is true, we wouldn’t be able to do all of that, without feeling the unwanted and negative feelings that we feel. Without harsh wind storms, we wouldn’t have nice breezy days, without hurricanes, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy the calmness that the water brings, that might’ve rhymed, I don’t know, but what i’m trying to get at is, with bad comes good and with good comes bad, there’s a balance to it and with that balance,

We just need to know how to get it right or find a way to make it better somehow, sometimes it takes time and sometimes we’re able to pick it up pretty darn well, but if somethings is not okay, that’s okay and if something is okay, that’s okay!! We shouldn’t always have to feel as though we need to keep positive and not worry, it’s important to not do that of course especially if it’s excessive (is that the word!? Probably)

If you’re worrying and stressing it’s alright, it means you really care about something, if you didn’t care you wouldn’t feel those things, but just keep tabs on how much you let the meter go over…..I know it’s not always easy to keep things leveled, be it with emotions, hard days, thoughts, you name it!!

Sometimes those things do have a way at getting the better of us, but if we can handle it, we will and if not it doesn’t mean we won’t and can’t, life is hard and oh so very stressful most of the time, but life can also be pretty easy if we let it, will we!? Most likely not, but really it’s the way we choose to look at everything that will determine how well we get it right.

Just so everyone’s clear here, don’t worry i’m still learning this myself, it’s a process for everyone, but it’s a process that isn’t too far from progress…..

All The Love <3<3

~Lexa