Anxiety…..

What are you doing here!? I didn’t ask for your company……I’m trying to stay calm, yet you keep wanting me to worry!?

Although you maybe trying to take over completely, I will not let you in, I will continue to stay calm and keep you from getting to me.

I maybe stressed and unable to focus, but that doesn’t mean, you have the right to try and push your way in, so go away because you’re not welcome.

You can try and scare me off, but it’s not going to work, i’m in charge, you’re just an emotion, a fear that I refuse to let win.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Impatient…..

Impatient I am, Impatient i’ll be, impatient because of me……i’m calm, but i’m not, i’m trying, yet I still feel I need to try harder.

Can’t think straight and my mind is tired, but I know that I can’t stop……..holding on to my emotions, while trying to keep these thoughts from scattering.

Breathe I know, relax I know, i’m trying can’t you see!!? My frustration grows and emotions flow, but i’m trying to somehow keep it together……

Impatient I am, but patient is what I have to be, because even though my impatience is me……at least i’m trying…….

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Lost In Thought…..

My mind thinks, as i’m lost in thought. Every little thought calmly floating around in my head, thinking deeply as I add a little emotion to the mix.

These thoughts, I ponder and these emotions they linger, wanting me to hear them, forcing me to feel them, can’t hide it or ignore it if I tried…….

Lost in thought again, thinking deeper now, sitting still as i’m trying to keep my mind and emotions under control.

I’m no longer lost in thought, now i’m just thinking……

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Don’t Think…..

Don’t think, it’s only going to cause you stress, don’t think it’ll only leave you anxious, don’t think you might just talk yourself out of things.

Don’t think or else you’ll be there all day, don’t think I can see the pressure building, quick think of something else!!

Anything except for what i’m telling not to think about………are you calm now!? Have you stopped thinking!?………..You haven’t stopped have you!?

Don’t think too much, just relax and breathe, everything’s going to be fine, if you have to think, think calmly, but don’t let the thinking get to you.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Distraction…..

Oh what’s that feeling that i’m feeling, please make it stop, these thoughts and these feelings are just driving me up the wall.

Need to find something that’ll keep me me from giving in, oh a distraction that’ll help me, but what kind of distraction should I go for!?

Video’s maybe!? I don’t know, I think the thoughts would find their way around it somehow……..music might do the trick!!

Then again, i’ll just probably end up feeding them, which might make me sad. How about writing or talking to a friend, that could work!!

Hmmmm maybe……….it could help simmer them down, alright then we’ll try that, wait……..what were we trying to distract from again!?

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Pondering….

I sit and ponder, thinking about everything, not knowing exactly what i’m thinking, I sit and ponder some more……

Writing with some background noise, thinking as i’m messing with my mechanical pencil trying to write, I ponder some more……

Pondering and pondering, is all that i’m doing, wondering and wondering as if it’s my hobby, we ponder to think and we think to ponder…..

As I wrote that last line, I think “does that make sense!?” hmmmm maybe i’ll just ponder on it some more or just leave it.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Jan 7, 2019

So today’s been a little stressful and that’s because i’ve been thinking about a whole lot of things today and i’ve been worrying about some stuff as well, that I won’t talk too much about because I don’t want to make this a sad post, with that being said i’m doing and trying my best to stay calm and not get wrapped up in the emotions and stressfulness of everything happening, is it hard yes, but when things are a little hard and stressful, you have to remind yourself that it’s probably not as bad as what other people might be going through, so for me I just gotta deal with it.

To actually quote one of my favorite songs at the moment, it’s a Paramore song and it’s called Idle Worship, it’s from their latest album After Laughter and the line goes: We all got problems, don’t we? We all need heroes, don’t we? I actually really love this song, it’s a realization kind of song in my opinion, if that makes sense at all, hopefully it does, I actually talked about this song in a post when I was reviewing their album, which i’ll be honest didn’t do well………….i’ll have to look back at it and read it again, but it’s a great album though I would suggest checking it out, different kind of Paramore, but also a really good kind of Paramore as well.

Let’s switch to a different kind of light here shall we!? So as I said a little earlier I was doing a lot of thinking and a doing a small amount of reflecting as well, I ended up looking back at some of my old journals that I filled completely and those journals I actually use to write wrestling reviews in when I watched wrestling. I don’t know why, I think it’s because i’m missing it a whole lot, I probably told you guys this before on how much I enjoyed wrestling, but I don’t think I ever told you how much I enjoyed it.

I won’t explain it any other way, i’m just gonna say it, I was obsessed with wrestling, like it was my life in a way pretty much and that probably sounds crazy and all, but it’s true!! I would watch it every week it came on and while it was on i’d review it every week by writing it in my journal and then most times reviewing it on my Youtube Channel, if I decided to make a video on it which was pretty much the whole purpose of reviewing it.

I’d watch it every Monday & Tuesday mainly, Monday’s was Raw and Tuesdays Smackdown Live, I use to watch 205 Live as well which came on after Smackdown, but I stopped watching it after a good while, also PPV’s were on Sundays each month, but the days they’d land on were always different, and if you think i’m pulling your leg on how much I love wrestling, although I don’t think you would think that, but i’ll just say this, when my brother was in the Marines, he told me to keep him updated on everything that was happening in wrestling and weeeell I definitely kept him updated that’s for sure.

There was about a few pages, i’d say probably 2-3 pages, maybe 4 i’m not sure, but yeah that’s how much I loved it. I haven’t watched wrestling for a long while now which I probably stated in other posts, it’s always on my mind though for some reason. Today I ended up looking to see if there were any wrestling bloggers and I found a few, but the main one I came across went by the name of hairywrestlingfan, his whole blog site is dedicated to wrestling and he even writes poems on specific wrestlers, to you it probably seems weird, but they’re really good, the way he writes the poems, they’re definitely worth reading, i’ll tell you that.

I only read one of the poems and the poem was dedicated to a wrestler by the name of Daniel Bryan, some of you might’ve heard of him and a lot of you probably haven’t, but for those who are wrestling fans and for those who are fans of Daniel Bryan, I would suggest checking it out, because it’s a really amazing poem and it’s also a really great dedication to Daniel and his wrestling career as a whole as well so check it out, you can find it here if you’re interested in reading it: https://hairywrestlingfan.com/2018/04/04/the-american-phoenix-an-original-poem/

Besides the poem though, I also ready his Top 10 things that happened in pro wrestling in 2018 which even though i’ve been missing a whole lot of wrestling, I still enjoyed the post, I sorta caught up on what happened, but I still got a lot to catch up on, but it was good to read a lot of what happened already, surprising stuff in it, check it out, it’s a good list, also be sure to check out hairywrestlingfan’s site as well, it’s there for you guys just in case and show them some love and support, i’m sure they’d appreciate it.

If you guys have anything you want to share or any thoughts, feel free to comment them down below, i’d love to hear about them!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~