Pondering Of Emotions….

You ever feel a certain emotion, but you’re just too afraid to talk about that emotion!? Something in you wants to express truthfully to the feelings you feel, but you don’t instead you just ponder about whether or not to be expressive about it! That’s what I’m feeling right now, I know I’m having all these different emotions swimming around in my mind, but I can’t quite bring myself to talk about them and part of that reason is well I don’t like talking about how I actually feel, yet at the same time, I don’t ever know to express about, like I never know where to start, so I always find myself thinking on my emotions trying to gather some kind of words to start off….

For the past 2 days, I’ve been feeling very anxious, I could feel my anxiety jump a few levels too high to where I want them to be and whenever I get anxious I start overthinking and when I over think I go into a panic mode and then become very frustrated with how I’m feeling causing myself to later become emotional right after and I always do it and I always get mad myself for it, I know it’s something I shouldn’t be upset with myself for, but I still do!

I try not to think about it and by trying not think on it, I end up thinking on it more and then I become more frustrated on it, I got a lot of worries in me that I find hard to get rid of and I don’t know why exactly….but I know it doesn’t help to ignore the emotions or have them put away for another time, by not addressing the feelings that we find crowding us a little too much, we create more frustration within ourselves, we never really sit down and ask ourselves why we are feeling the way we are, when we feel them, we look away from them and try and distract ourselves with something else and when we feel them becoming more of a “too close step back a bit” feeling we start getting agitated by it.

We never feel like we’re allowed to feel the things we do, but the best way to handle those unpleasant emotions is to let them be, in a sense of when you feel them, let yourself feel them, don’t fight with them or push them to the side because then that creates more resistance when turning them away…..we have to tell ourselves that it’s okay to be uncomfortable with our not so great emotions, by accepting them, it makes it easier to let them go naturally without all the push backs and anger that we bring to ourselves because of them!

It’s okay to ask and question those emotions because it may help to get to the root of what is actually going on under the surface of it! If we can accept those good feeling moments where we are at our best, why can’t we do the same when we’re feeling at our worst!? There’s no good without the bad and no bad without the good, it’s all in the balance of it all, we need to feel like shit sometimes, we can’t always expect to feel like a bunch of happy dogs running around full of energy, sometimes we need to sit in a corner and just feel whatever it is we are feeling because that’s how we get over them, it’s how we start to feel better!

So if you were to ask me how I’ve been feeling…..I’m just a little Under Pressure at the moment, but I know eventually I’ll be alright! Hope all your days are going well!

P.S.

I only expressed on these emotions after watching a video last night, if you would like to watch that video, you can find it here: How To Control Your Anxiety (as an Empath)

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

25-26

Quite the title I know, I’m just kidding haha! Don’t really know why I chose that as the title, it just randomly came to me and I thought it was a neat one, plus it’s pretty themed too, I’m just going to say that….I’ve got a couple thoughts that I wanted to get out, I’m doing a bit of self reflecting, been kind of doing it for about a few days now, maybe a couple of weeks….I tend to self reflect on random occasions to be fair! I already sorta let most of my thoughts out yesterday as a Podcast episode, although I haven’t actually quite posted it just yet, I’ve been thinking about it though, I don’t normally like to talk upon my own thoughts and feelings as I’ve stated a few times before on here…..I don’t like talking about what I’m thinking, It feels weird to me, I don’t really like having that kind of low energy type thing….

I prefer to talk about things that I enjoy and mean a lot to me instead of my actual feelings, because no one really likes to share that kind of thing especially when you know you’re in this deep thought mode, you try and brush it off and put it away, but you tend to notice that it’s never quite far from you and with the way I always find myself thinking….no one wants to hear that all the time and that’s just how I genuinely feel, it’s why I rarely share on what I’m feeling, like I know it’s alright to share your emotions at times, but I just always find it hard for me to do, because I never can find the words to make it sound less…..complaint like, I don’t know why I always feel it to be such a bothersome thing, I just always do! I know there’s nothing wrong with it…..I just have a hard time expressing my true emotions to people,

I rather try and work through my current thoughts in the moment when I’m feeling it and not have to talk about it to people…..but I guess when you need to let it out, you need to let it out….keeping it to yourself isn’t always the best thing, although if it’s not your thing then you shouldn’t force yourself, because eventually when you feel like you’re ready to express yourself, I always feel you will in some way or form….we all have moments and sometimes we all just need to allow ourselves to have those moments, be it in private, sharing to someone else or just when you feel you may need a bit before actually being vocal about your thoughts and emotions, it all comes down to preference!

When it comes to sharing on things that can be hard to share, it’s okay if you’re the type that only shares every now and again and if you’re someone that finds it works better when you share you’re thoughts not daily, but every other day that fine too, but if you’re someone that rarely shares because you find it a bit hard or because it’s not your thing that’s alright too, whatever works best, we just got to accept the type of person we are when it comes to that, I’m in between every now and again and rarely, sharing upon my thoughts is something I don’t really like doing, but if I feel that I need to, in order to give myself a bit of a clear and refresh mind then I will even when it’s a bit hard,

For the most part though a lot of my thoughts lately are out of my worries and fears and me overthinking everything, not that I do it on purpose, I really do try not to think the way I do, but sometimes my mind can just get to me a bit, I guess you just have to allow it to be sometimes as well as do your best to not let it get to you too much! How have you all been feeling lately!?

Update A.K.A Promo Time!!

I ended up re recording that podcast episode I was talking about earlier in the post, I wanted to do it differently, so if you would like to check it out you can find it here: Just Chatting it’ll be up on Anchor as well as Spotify just a heads up (on Anchor it’ll say May 7th and on Spotify it’ll say May 8th, I think the times a bit different on Spotify I’m not really sure) but it’s just a chill chatting session on a few thoughts I had similar to this post, just with a bit more added so if you get curious check it out!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Processing….

You ever have a moment happen whether it was unexpected or not so unexpected and you happen to just go within that moment for a second not really knowing what to expect, but once you find yourself in it it’s not until after to where you really realize what just happened and so you find yourself just still trying to process what actually happened!?

Sometimes you have to take a moment and take things in a lot of the time it won’t really make sense and sometimes you’ll find yourself asking a lot of questions, but even when we aren’t quite sure on what exactly is going on taking the time to process things can really help you to think clearly about everything. We don’t always know what is the best way to process things at times, I don’t think there’s really a right way to process…….

I think you’re just meant to process it how you’re feeling it in the moment, depending on what you’re feeling, it might leave you filled with emotions or other feeling and sometimes you won’t always be able to control them, but as long as we do our best to keep things calm especially when not really all that prepared, then the process won’t really seem all that much, it’s also important to make sure that when we find ourselves thinking of things that need a little bit of a moment to process, we don’t go overthinking about it for too long, when we allow our brains to overthink, we give it too much power and we end up having a hard time trying to quiet it down.

So whenever it comes to processing, we just have to try and keep calm and keep our brains from over flowing with thoughts and know that if we need to feel what we’re trying to process, it’s okay to feel them feel them, when we allow ourselves to feel while processing everything, we let any pent up emotions we’ve been burying surface and allow them to release from our system, allowing us to feel a little lighter, letting the rest of our thoughts come to us a little more clearer…….fully processing things even when we don’t quite get it in the moment, can really help make things a bit easier.

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Listen To Yourself When It Tells You Not To Listen To YourSelf

I know the title’s probably confusing you guys, so i’m gonna explain it in the best way that I can on what I mean. The reasoning for this title is, because we all have a habit of going so deep within ourselves, well more like our minds like to make us go deep with ourselves and pick every flaw we have, as well as choosing memories that we try to avoid, all because it just likes putting all these negative emotions and feelings in front of us, so that way we go off track and wander off into that neck of the woods, even when we tell ourselves to avoid that part of the woods, sometimes we listen and sometimes we go and wonder off anyway. 

We all have moments where the negativity in our heads become so strong that it kinda makes it hard to ignore them and although we try and try to push them aside when they start to creep up, they never like to stay put. Negativity loves to get in our faces and make us believe that everything that we’re feeling, every little thought and worry that we have is worth stressing over and it’s not, it’s really not, yet, no matter how many times we tell ourselves to stop stressing and not think so much on it, we all know that sometimes it’s just easier said then done.

We can have days to where we listen to ourselves about it, but most of the time, although we try, we let our minds win and that’s not good because if we keep letting our minds win when it comes to negativity, we’re always gonna embrace the negatives and you never want that. Unraveling and drowning ourselves in our own negative thoughts………..we’re stronger than that and we don’t need it…….we don’t need it at all and that’s why I say listen to yourself, when it tells you not to listen to yourself. By telling yourself not to listen to your own thoughts anymore, when it comes to the negatives, you give yourself the chance to put your focus onto things, worth focusing on while giving yourself a better outlook and mindset as well.

I know that sometimes it can be super, heck extremely hard to try and keep yourself from going down that neck of the woods, believe me I know, but every time you find yourself or feel yourself wandering off, stop and really think, “Is this thing that i’m stressing on and overthinking really that important and is it doing me any good, am I benefitting from it!? If you find yourself unable to come up with anything useful, then wander off somewhere else because it’s not worth it.  Also remember sometimes we are our own worst enemy and although we should always trust ourselves, sometimes we have to keep ourselves from invading our own personal space at times. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Jon Eric Marababol on Unsplash

Morning Pages/Evening Pages

Have you guys ever written morning pages before, have you even heard of it!? I’m not quite sure whether I heard of it or not, but i’ve never written anything on it before, now what I mean on that is when it comes to morning pages, I never thought about participating in it, today was kinda the first time I slightly participated in it, I say slightly, because I didn’t finish what I was writing and I seem to be doing that a lot actually, lately if I write in my thought journal, I don’t really finish writing out what at the time I wanted to write out, which i’m not exactly sure why I do that.

For those who aren’t familiar with morning pages, what they basically are is……..weeeell to me and maybe to a lot of others who’ve heard of them, they’re pretty much morning journal entries. I actually feel there’s a difference between regular journal entries and morning pages, journal entries you write whatever you want to write, it could be about what you’re feeling, what you’re happy about stuff like that, but with morning pages you pretty much just write everything that’s in your head when you wake up in the morning, so if you’re feeling crappy, you write it out, no filters or anything, just everything that’s going on in your head on a piece of paper. I tried doing that this morning…..okay it wasn’t in the morning it was more around 11am which to me is close to the afternoon, so I guess they were more afternoon pages than morning pages.

If you’re wondering why I decided to talk upon morning pages, i’ll try and it explain as best as I can…….sooo yesterday I kinda didn’t have the greatest night, like I was alright, it wasn’t a bad day, but I had a moment during the night where I started overthinking something and when I overthink, I don’t quite know how to stop myself from overthinking, which tends to put me in certain moods that I don’t like, I get very frustrated with myself and upset as well because of the fact that I constantly overthink things and although I really try not to, I still end up doing it and I don’t really understand why that is.

Back to why i’m talking about morning pages, while I was overthinking, this might sound weird but……….sometimes when I am feeling something, I like to google it, which I know isn’t probably the best thing in the world, because then you have different things telling you stuff that will cause you to overthink more and yeaaah, you guys know what I mean. Anyway so I looked up why I was overthinking so much and I found different articles on ways to stop overthinking and one of the tips was to start morning pages. Everything that is in your head during the morning just write it out, they even said it didn’t have to makes any sense, because we’d be the only ones reading it, they also said there’s no wrong way to write morning pages……..yet I felt this morning I wasn’t quite doing it right which is weird.

I was writing my thoughts, but I found myself trying to think about how to word everything and call me crazy or tell me i’m wrong, but I don’t think you’re meant to wonder on how to write morning pages, I think you’re just meant to just write and not think about how to write it, that’s why I felt I was doing it wrong………I mean like how do you mess up morning pages when all you have to do is write about everything that’s in your head, I just don’t understand it!?………and I have a thought journal where I write down my thoughts, but that journal I also tend to think about how to say things because i’m not good with words all that much. Is it just me or do any of you feel like that as well!? I hope i’m not the only one and if I am, well then I sure need to not try so hard if i’m gonna start writing morning pages don’t I!?

Hopefully all of this made sense somehow, have you guys ever tried morning pages or even heard of it, if so do you feel that it helps you get on with your day better or do you still find yourself overthinking certain things either way!?

 

 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

 

Update: I actually finished writing my morning pages from earlier in my journal, so now it’s more of an evening pages, if that made sense……I wrote about 3-4 and a half pages of thoughts, so yeah, hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening.

 

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash