Changes and Transformations….

Good Morning, hope that you all have been well these days! We’re now a week into the month of March for many out there, a lot has probably happened already be it big or something small that you’ve been also looking forward too and for others March might still feel like you’re just getting started and that’s perfectly okay! We all have a specific pace that we start with, things could be going really fast and quick for a lot of you, while for some March could be catching you by surprise where things start feeling a bit unexpected, in a sense where, you may find yourself more busy then usual or in other ways where you may not normally be used to if that makes sense!?

Yesterday I found myself deep in thought about a lot of things, I was out for most of the day so it was a bit productive, however I wasn’t really in a talkive mood, I mean don’t get me wrong I did speak a bit, but I wasn’t in my usual talkive state that I normally am….a lot of the time when that happens, it’s because I just have a lot on my mind and it gets to the point where I don’t really want to talk… those moments talking for me becomes a bit of chore to deal with so I like to say as little as I can if I’m able to! I started to become a bit more chatty during the evening though, but it still took me a while!

I guess it’s just my way of processing my own thoughts and dealing with them in some way, I normally try and distract myself when I start getting really into my own mind, but I also know when I need to allow my thoughts to be what it is they are and not push them aside, by doing that it’s only going to come at you harder so you want to make sure that your being considerate with yourself in those times of deep thinking…..yesterday I had a thought to myself regarding my surroundings, but involving how everything’s changed!

All the places that I once knew and saw growing up, most of them are all different now, building that, were once there are no longer around and if they are, they’ve changed so much to where you don’t really recongize them, it’s kind of like seeing a time lapse of what you used to know recontructed right before your eyes, but you’re seeing the transformation of what it was then, to what it is now and seeing that, seeing all the places that you’ve grown up with change and look completely new to what you used to see, it really hits you just how much things really transform an old shop that you may have gone to a lot when you were a kid, is either no longer there or isn’t quite the same as you once remembered it!

It’s a mind blowing experience because even though you know it’s different, there something in you that feels like you still need a bit of time to process it fully, yet you never really get the chance to, due to the fact that it’s already changed and transformed so much that you don’t get much room to feel it entirely the way you want. It’s the same with people, although they have certain things with them that stayed the same, you already know that they too have transformed and are a lot different to what you remember them to be, but be it so,

There’s always that part of you that hopes that the relationship that you had with them and the bond that you once shared didn’t change and a lot of the time you find it did, but you do get those one of kind moments where even though you and that person have grown and seen things in a more….I guess you can say mature perspective to how you used to see things….even though all that’s happened, you find that it’s easy for you to just come back together as if nothings changed at all and just pick up where you left off….with those moments though it can feel a bit nervewracking and scary, it’s like meeting someone that you already know for the first time all over again….and it’s not something you would normally think to get nervous about, but you do because you know it’s different!!

You start feeling like you have to prepare yourself again and get ready for it, it’s like a new journey and adventure that you know, but don’t know at the same time so you’re kind of just hoping for the best and for things to turn out okay, it’ll sometimes even leave you wondering if they still feel the same about you even if you know they do, you still can’t help, but have those thoughts in mind that, now that doesn’t neccasarily mean it’s a bad thing, it’s just curious wonders! That being said, you won’t really know unless you put yourself out there to feel those things and be okay with feeling them, I like to think they’re normal, it just simply shows how much you really truly and deeply care as well as how much that person still means to you!!

Fear or no fear, changes and transforamtions will always happen, even if you don’t really get the chance to take it in the way you want or you find you aren’t able to really prepare, it’s okay….I guess the best way to look at it is to just give it a go anyway when it involves a new experience, but if it involves a change that you have no control of, like seeing a place you once knew when you were younger in a whole new way, you kind of just have to adapt the best way you can with it, keep those memories close to you always and whatever connection you made with it…..just know that it will always be with you, never be afraid of changes and don’t be afraid of transforming the way you feel you are wanting to, it’s all part of living life so try not to hold yourself back from experiencing all that you want to experience at the end of the day you gotta do what makes you happy!!

All The Love ❤ ❤


Memory Nostalgia: A Fond Moment In Science

We all have special moments in our lives that we randomly think about out of the blue, sometimes it’s stuff that happened yesterday, a couple weeks ago or even when we were kids depending on your age now, if you’re still a kid you’ll have those moments come to you later, but if you’ve been around a good while than you probably already have a few, one of my favorite and fond moments that I had as a kid happened back in middle school (about 8th grade i’d say…yeah it was 8th grade) I was in science class and in this class we had to make a clay model of all the layers of the Earth’s core, now don’t ask me if I remember all the layers, I only remember the mantel and core that’s it, trust me I tried to remember each part without looking it up just to see if I could remember it, but i’m probably going to to have to surrender and look it up, maybe after this post or before whichever comes first!!

Back to Science class…we had a project where we had to make a clay version of the Earth and in then cut it in half to then label each layer of the Earth, it was a pretty simple, but also really cool project, I loved it, then again I just loved Science as a whole, it was one of my favorites subjects, probably already mentioned it before, but it really was, don’t know why, but I just really liked it!! I think if I remember the project was actually a test not a regular project, but it’s been a long while so I can’t actually remember which one it was all I remember was we had to make the Earth out of clay and then label the layers on the inside, I remember the colors we used to, well somewhat, there was blue, green, yellow, purple and red I believe, I think we were able to pick our colors,

but I could also be wrong on that….the way we labeled each layer was, we had to write them down on a piece of paper in strips and then tape those paper strips onto some toothpicks and then jab them into the clay, but we had to put the names of the layers in the correct place, now that i’m thinking about it, it might’ve been a test because we got graded on it…..but again I don’t know, it was really fun, I remember being really excited about doing that project, rolling the clay and turning it into a ball and having it cut to see all the different colors that were inside, I can’t speak for everyone in my class on whether they found it exciting as well, but young me was loving it!! I can picture it now doing that project, moments of it anyway, I remember the classroom too a bit and how the weather was, by that I mean I remember it being sunny, I don’t know if it was cold or hot, just that the sun was out.

It was good bring back moment, it’s one of my top fondest memories that happened to pop up out of nowhere, but every time it comes up, it brings a smile on my face and makes me happy, I guess it just one of those things that’ll stick with me for as long as it chooses to and i’m perfectly fine with it!!

P.S. I just looked up each layer…… and I gotta say, a little disappointed that I didn’t remember each part because it was quite simple, literally you got the outer core, inner core, mantle and the core of the Earth…how could someone forget that… least i’ll remember it now so I guess it’s okay ha

All The Love ❤ ❤


Christmas Memories…..

How’s everyone’s holiday going!? I hope you’re all enjoying yourself and have had a good day, today just feels like a regular old Tuesday to me even though it is Christmas Eve, but I hope you guys have enjoyed the holidays so far, we still got Christmas Day to get through, so although Christmas Eve is almost heading off into hibernation soon, we still have tomorrow to enjoy and make the most of so in case some of you are sad it’s almost over…….

Just know it isn’t quite over yet!! So question since we’re on the topic of it, how did you guys spend today!? Also when it comes to Christmas Eve do you guys open presents the day of Christmas eve or do you do it traditionally and wait until midnight when it gets close to Christmas Day!?

When I was younger, I used to wait up until midnight to open presents, everyone else would open them right away, but I followed tradition, now well I probably would just open it, however I still try and stay with tradition and wait until at least Christmas Eve, but I won’t wait until midnight,

I will wait until it gets a little dark though so around night time, I haven’t done it traditionally in a very long time, it was always fun giving yourself the anticipation with having to wait until a certain time to open any gifts you got, at least for me it was anyway, everyone else couldn’t wait, but for a while I made it my duty to wait until midnight to allow myself to open gifts, my own family would get impatient telling me to open it, but I would not,

I took it very seriously, I don’t know why I would make myself wait until midnight when I was allowed to open it the moment I got it, what a weird kid right!? Let’s be honest here, no kid would wait that long to open a gift!!

The one thing about doing that though is whenever I bought someone a gift I would make them wait until midnight rolled around to open it, i’d tell them I got them a gift, but that they would have to wait to get it, which of course they did not like very much, but that was the rules and I made sure to let them know……good times those moments were, good times.

I still think I was weird kid though…..for actually waiting is what I mean, I was an overall weird kid, but more because I actually didn’t mind waiting to open gifts, I know I probably didn’t have to explain it, but I did it anyway…..

What are some of your fond holiday memories!?

All The Love ❤ ❤


Careers….(Part 2)

Part 2 of Careers is right ahead, as promised from the first part to this when I said I don’t think i’m finished talking about this topic, I wasn’t kidding I still have a lot to say, this might be long as well, i’m just gonna say it now, because I know the way I write……I really do try not to write so much, it’s not easy though…’s a good thing I wrote everything in advance here.

Sometimes I want to blame my high school teacher for convincing me to get a computer, well more like suggesting i’d get one, it took me a while to actually give in to getting one, luckily we had someone in our school to lend us computers for the time being until we graduated, if it wasn’t for Mrs. Schaefer (My HS English Teacher) I would still be writing down notes in my notebook and being the only one to do so in my class as well.

(I won’t ever forget the conversation when she suggested for me to get one, I always find myself thinking back to that moment in time, well it’s more on random days then always.)

Now I know what you’re thinking,”what does this have to do with careers?” it doesn’t, it has nothing at all to do with careers, it was just a thought, that I wanted to write down, because it was one of the first things that came to mind when I wrote this out, but let’s discuss what’s meant to be discussed.

I’ll be honest with you, for as long as I can remember I never really thought about what I wanted as a career before, hence why i’m stressing about it now……I mean when I was younger I had this grand idea on what I had in mind and that idea involved singing!! I wanted to be a singer, i’ve mentioned this before i’m sure, I mean what kid didn’t right!? I wanted to sing because I liked singing and music a lot, still enjoy singing to myself and I still listen to music, not as much as I used to, but on occasions and whenever i’m walking somewhere or when i’m in the mood for it.

That all being said, the older I got, the more I started to see just how serious I was about it…..I wasn’t, the thought of singing was cool, I mean let’s face it we all had moments when we sang in front of a mirror or in some part of our house with either a hairbrush, remote control or the broom even, whatever we could find really and just went for it, those were the best days of all our childhoods i’d say!! The few times that I attempted to get going, I think I just found it to be too much now that i’m thinking about it.

I’ve been on stage a few times growing up mostly with other people and a few times alone and in those times being by myself on stage or just in front of people in general I would always feel super uncomfortable, I would just rather kinda be away from the stage and having people stare at you. I didn’t even like doing presentations, even though you would just be talking to a classroom, I couldn’t even speak in front of a group of people without losing my words and being all nervous, flashcards couldn’t even help me and they were numbered flashcards and I still would freak out.

But with singing and music I think the main thing with it was I couldn’t commit to it fully, I wasn’t really serious about it, it was always just fun to me, when I started realizing just how much had to be put into it, yeah I slowly backed away from it until you could no longer see me there.

Sometimes I think about it and wonder with it, but I don’t think I would be able to take it seriously, in terms of having it be a career for me, although I still love to sing, I don’t feel it would be my thing to do for a living, there’s a lot with it I probably wouldn’t be able to handle and the realistic ness of it just wouldn’t be a sure thing if you want something that’s going to get you going if you get what I mean, I mean it can be a sure thing if that’s what you truly want and your serious about it, but with me I don’t think it’d work.

The thing i’d say that came with the joy to sing all my favorite songs was being able to write, now I can’t really recall how I got into writing, I kinda just started doing it a lot, I didn’t really know what I was writing, I mean I knew what I was writing, but I didn’t if that makes sense!? I just liked writing pretty much, lyrics mainly, but nonetheless I was writing a whole lot. Other than wanting to be a singer as a youngster, I didn’t really have any alternative careers I wanted to do.

You always hear people say how it’s important to have a backup career in case your original idea falls through and to give you a bit of insight to how I felt hearing that, well I didn’t like hearing that, i’m pretty sure no one did, but when you think about it, we all knew it made sense deep down, I mean who wants to be left disappointed right!?

Careers are seriously hard to decide on, it’s all about what you would like to be doing for the rest of your life!! You can think of a million and above things to do for a living, but here’s where the heart of the true question lies, will all of those possible career ideas make you happy? Can you see yourself feeling truly good about it for years time? Will it be something you get out of bed for and look forward to everyday!?

All the dilemmas when deciding on a career eh? Some people decide on becoming a teacher for a good amount of time, but then later realize that it may not be the thing for them once they realize just how much patience it takes to handle it or maybe they have asked themselves if they want to be in a classroom for years to come and realize they don’t and so they’ll try and think of something else, but that’s just an example.

There’s a lot of different decisions and questions that’ll go through your head when trying to choose the best career. Becoming a teacher is a more realistic career choice to chose from considering how big of a profession it is, I feel you get more out of it then you would with most career options, plus it’s a bit more rewarding to have as a career, I mean your not only in a teaching role, but your helping people of all ages from kids, to teenagers ect…learn and develop while becoming a lot more knowledgeable as well as other things and doing something like that can make you feel really good.

You know you’re bringing something extraordinary to a lot of people and changing their lives in a way that is inexplainable. Now i’m not saying that any other career wouldn’t also be rewarding and that, it just depends on the kind that you choose, but when your trying to decide on a career, whatever that career may be, it all comes down to how bad you want it as well as where you see your personality fitting better with.

You don’t want to just jump into a random profession, you want to make sure you have some kind of interest and connection to it, that way when you are pursuing a career of your choosing, you know you’re going to enjoy it and keep on enjoying it, sure you might like something and find your good with it, but even if you find your are good with it, it doesn’t necessarily mean your going to love it for the rest of your life,

You might if you give it a try and see, but when going for a career you want to make sure it’s something that’s going to not only bring you some kind of happiness with it, but also bring you a good amount of secureness as well, you want something that’ll go hand in hand and work for you. No one wants to get up and do something they know they’re going to dread each morning they wake up, you want to always look forward to what you’re doing not, hate it as your doing it and I get it not being easy to figure out.

With careers there’s just so many to choose from that it’s hard to choose, sometimes you have to go based on what your strengths are and what your weakness is, so you can get some kind of idea of what could work when deciding on what you are going to be doing for a living. Sometimes I think it would be easier to randomly land on a career choice as if it was a mini game and have it be sorted that way, but that’s probably not the best idea, because you might end up with something you really do hate if you aren’t careful, but it would make things interesting for one which is sorta good.

There you have it part 2 of Careers, a lot of what’s written here most of it was already pre written, but there were some stuff that I changed as I went along… i’m not 100 percent sure, but there’s a chance there could be a third parter here, it’s not a definite yes, but there is a sorta big maybe to it.

This might just stay as a two parter, but this is a just in case you do see a part 3, you won’t be too alarmed by it, but with all that, I hope you all are having a good day and that you’re all doing well.

All The Love ❤ ❤


April Times….

April skies, April times, oh so many good memories….

If you ask me to close my eyes and tell you what I see

I’d tell you the 40th Anniversary of Grease, as we’re singing the songs and reciting the words to the movie at the Cinema……just having a good old time.

I see us having dinner for the first time and us laughing because you startled yourself with the mirror behind you, that was a good one!!

I see us sitting on the bench outside of the mall (shopping center) listening to our favorite song in the backseat of the car (you know which one)

Another memory coming through……it’s the one where we were running on the pitch, well you were running around with the football (soccer)

I was recording you as you were working out your shots to see if you still had it……you did of course.

I see……..okay well I didn’t really see the ball heading my way as it caught me in the stomach, but I was okay as I just laugh at it afterward even though you were bare worried…..I love that memory though.

Speaking of football…..I also see us going to a football game, my first ever football game and your first MLS game, it was really enjoyable

Although, I didn’t really know what was going on, but seeing you enjoy it, made me enjoy it.

I see you making me a surprise breakfast the day of our 1 year anniversary, waffles with baked beans on top (I know people it sounds weird, but believe me it was pretty good and i’m not just saying that, I promise lol)

There’s so many memories, I could talk about, but the love you give and show me is my favorite one and although we’re unable to spend this year together, I just want you to know how much you mean to me.

I love you with every beat of my heart my love and I look forward to creating more memories with you and spending our days and life together.

Happy 2 Year Anniversary my love, here’s to many more and to our future together, I love you millions and more than words can describe!!

All The Love ❤ ❤


Feb 13, 2019

Hey hey everyone hope you’re all doing well, I know that is is probably a random question and all, but have you guys ever had a moment where you randomly thought about something and gave yourself a facepalm, because it was one of those cringy moments or memories!?

I had that kind of moment today, don’t really know why, but yeah, it just randomly popped into my brain, I ended up laughing at myself and doing that weird “why did I do that or i’m so stupid” kind of face, you know the good ole’ cringy face thing, don’t you just hate when that happens……….

You’re just minding your mind and then your brain just randomly goes “Hey remember when you did this, remember when this happened…….that was so bad or weird” you then say to your brain “why did you remind me of that, was that really necessary!?”

Then you end up really thinking about that moment or memory for a good amount of time or sometimes even the whole rest of the day…………….it’s as if our brains like torturing us, you know!?………what can we do though right!? I mean we can try and ignore it, but we all know there’s always going to be days where we remember something we don’t expect to remember and sometimes it’s the memories we could’ve done without…………but hey!!

I mean if you really think about it though, I guess it’s those weird and cringy moments that kinda make the days not so bad if that makes sense!?I’d say 9 out of 10, those are the moments that make use laugh and smile the most………..even if in the moments of those memories, we’re shaking our heads and laughing to ourselves about it, while also facepalming our foreheads because of them.

Although sometimes, I think “why you do this brain!?” I gotta say I do also appreciate it, so thank you brain, you make me laugh, even if the memories you’re wanting me to remember are ones I didn’t need, but again I do really appreciate it…………the only thing I ask though is, could you………just try and keep the negative thoughts away, I don’t really like those too much, the cringy thoughts and moments are alright though, I can deal with those.

All The Love ❤ ❤


Feb 2, 2019

Hey everyone I hope you’re all doing well and had a good Saturday, today’s been some kind of day I tell you, i’ve been up since about 7-7:30am, I tried to go back to sleep for a bit this morning, but I didn’t really sleep, just rested my eyes…………I haven’t really done all that much today, I just mainly cleaned up my room and that’s about it really, just one of those days, I hope you guys got into something much more productive ha.

I had a lot of random thoughts pop into my head as I was straightening up my room, normally when I clean up I like to listen to some music, you know make the cleaning process a bit fun kinda, however today, I wasn’t in much of a music mood and chose to watch an already recorded stream instead.

I think I actually spoke about this Youtuber before she goes by the name of SimplyPressStart (well that’s her channel name, her names actually Crystal) and she pretty much does let’s plays, but anyway I was watching her Animal Crossing stream while I was cleaning, it was relaxing, anytime I watch her videos, it always feels like your talking to a friend, only this friend isn’t with you and they’re streaming a game and chatting to a lot of other people watching them play the game, does that make sense!?

I hope so, I really enjoy her videos, they’re very calming, I’ll have to one day catch one of her live streams on Animal Crossing, right now i’m catching up.

A moment that happened while I was watching and cleaning, I was folding some clothes that I had washed a while ago and long story short, I randomly had this thought of when I use to watch these original shows off the WWE network, I don’t really know why, but it just popped up into my head, it was the weirdest thing, I remembered when I watched this one series on Seth Rollins, I believe around this time I started to become a little obsessed, that sounds quite bad actually writing that out haha…………

We’ll just say I was really into him for a good while, but anyway they had this documentary on the Network and it was about him recovering from a really bad knee injury, which caused him to miss out on WrestleMania 32, it was a really great doc, not only did you feel for Rollins having to miss out on one of the biggest PPV’s in WWE, but you also got to see how much he endured just to get back into the ring, there’s a whole lot more to it, but if you’re a wrestling fan and haven’t watch that, I would recommend checking it out, I believe the documentary is called WWE 24 Seth Rollins: Redesign, Rebuild, Reclaim, it’s really good at least I think it is.  

There were a few other series on Seth, all really great by the way………..I was also pretty into this other show on the Network called Breaking Ground, where I think they were introducing the new talents being brought in, talking about their story and the training they had to do, just everything, which I really enjoyed, that was something different.

Seeing a wrestlers journey and seeing how they managed to become apart of wrestling is really something special, you really only see them when they’re wrestling and the only thing you know about them is their character, so watching stuff like that where, you get to see them in a different light, with them being themselves and not playing a character, it’s pretty cool, you know, you’re getting to see a different side to them while also getting a look into their lives in way, which is pretty awesome!!

They have a lot of cool and interesting original series/shows on the WWE Network, I didn’t watch all of them, but the ones that did interest me, I really did enjoy them, some are hilarious and others are weird, but also pretty funny as well.

A few of my favorites are:

WWE Ride Along- This is probably one of my all time favorites, it’s where they take a few WWE superstars/wrestlers as well as a few crew members and have them travel to the next wrestling event together in a car and they just pretty much go to town having hilarious conversations.

They also sometimes tell a few on the road stories before they signed to the WWE as well as during and after, it’s really hilarious!! One of my all time favorite episodes is with Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns, me and my friend Ray would watch that ALL THE TIIIIME, it’s just gold that one, I have a few other ones I like, but that one will always be at the top of my list.

I can’t remember the name of this one, but it was just like they told stories about something specific that happened in wrestling and everything, I think it’s called WWE Story Time……..something like that, I enjoyed that one.

The last one that I remember watching on the Network was this series called WWE Photo Shoot, it was a new original series when I watched it and in that show, they would bring in a wrestler and have them look at some old photo’s of themselves and see if they could remember the backstory behind those photos, it was quite nice, you’d be surprised on some of the backstories they told, but yeah I really enjoyed that too.

There were a few other shows I watched and enjoyed, those were just a few though, but yeah I just wanted to share that with you guys, i’m not really sure why I was thinking about that earlier, but it was a good memory to come across today, didn’t expect it, but it was nice.

Have you guys ever had a random memory pop into your head before out of nowhere, if so what was it about!?

All The Love ❤ ❤


Jan 19, 2019

I’m just gonna start this entry by saying i’m pretty tried today, i’ve been having a bit of of a day, I haven’t really been able to think straight properly, I actually tried to write a poem on that, but I couldn’t really think of anything else, there’s only 4 lines in it, I might come back to it in time though who knows………I did write two other poems though, one i’m sharing with you guys and the other one, i’m gonna keep in my journal only.

I have no idea what to write about here and I don’t want to write about how my day’s been because you guys shouldn’t have to read that, I want to talk about something that’s better than that, not exactly sure what I want to write about, but I want it to be something you guys can enjoy in the moment even though i’m not sure how i’ll turn out, but we’ll see.

It took me a bit, I actually started drifting off as I was trying to figure out what to write about, I think I want to share a memory with you guys, this might not be a very long post, but hopefully you guys still enjoy it. This memory comes from a moment that I had a long time ago and it was when my friend Angel was still around, he had stayed over my house and this was in the morning, we were watching this cartoon by the name of Teen Titans Go.

Now this show isn’t my favorite show, it’s okay, it has some good episodes to it, but there was this specific episode, I think it’s called 40% 40% 20% anyway, we’re watching this show and there’s this song that played, also this episode, a lot of people enjoyed, myself included because it was the closes thing we got to it being like the original Teen Titans………but back to the story, so there’s a song called Night Begins To Shine in the episode and long story short, the minute my friend Angel heard it he immediately loved it and went to download it.

I didn’t think they’d actually have the song to where he’d be able to download it right away, but they had it and well he continuously played it non stop while he was at my house and mind you although it wasn’t a bad song I wasn’t at the time super into it, but I didn’t mind it either, however he played it so much because he knew that I was going to get annoyed with it and what happened, I got annoyed with it.

He kept saying to me how great of a song it was and tried singing along to it, he didn’t really know the words, but that wasn’t going to stop him from singing to it and because he played it so much, I ended up getting the song stuck in my head and you can probably guess the look I gave him because of that, I was so mad……….we all know how hard it is to get a song out of your head especially when it’s a really catchy one and he knew that too and thought it was hilarious.

It’s not a surprise though, he always played weird songs that ended up getting stuck in your head later or made you give him a weird look, he didn’t care though, he’d still play them half of the time we just laugh at him and shake our heads, he was a character, but we loved him anyway.

Now that i’m looking back at it though, I guess it was kinda funny, still annoying, but also pretty funny too, at least I can say I have very interesting friends as well as great ones, btw thinking about that memory made the song get stuck in my head a bit which is great, i’m not singing it now though so that’s good, but if it comes back, i’m gonna be annoyed, but also laugh about it.

If you guys have a memory you want to share that you always look back and laugh at, feel free to comment it down below, i’d love to hear about it.

All The Love ❤ ❤


Jan 15, 2019 (A Bit Of A Long Entry Of Memory)

So today marks a year since my boyfriend first came to visit me, this time last year I was counting down the hours for him to arrive all excited while also super nervous at the same time. I remember it like it was yesterday, I literally couldn’t focus on anything else except him arriving, I kept looking at the time wanting the day to go by quicker that’s how excited I was, I remember before we went to pick him up I was talking to my friend Ray on the phone and telling her about him coming to visit and everything, when it came to finally going to meet him I was so nervous, like I don’t think I ever felt that nervous in my life.

When we finally arrived at the airport to pick him up, I couldn’t stay still in my seat, I kept looking back in the car waiting for him to show his face, it took a while so while we waited, my mom and brother were there with me and my mom went inside the airport to get him while I was in the car with my brother listening to music or something. I think he was showing me a video when Jordan (that’s his name) finally got to the car, I didn’t realize he was there until I heard my mom start opening the door and when I realized he was there, I hopped out the car and hugged him right away.

If you ask him how the first meeting went, he’ll tell you that I speared him when I saw him haha, but I don’t remember it that way, I was just really excited to finally get to meet him in person and have him there, my mom actually has the meeting on video, after what probably felt like the longest hug a persons ever had, it was the longest one I ever had, I didn’t want to let let him go, but it was cold for one and we decided in the car that we were going to get some food afterwards. We ended up going to Panera’s for dinner. We sat and chatted, asked him about his flight and everything, him and my brother got along right away which I was happy about, he was very nervous but also calm, I was nervous and still very excited about everything, if you ask him he’ll tell you how nervous he actually was.

It was a good time, his flight was about 6-7 hours so as you can probably guess he was very very tired, plus the whole time zone thing was new to him so he had to kinda get use to that, it took a few days but he adapted to it i’d say nicely. After we had dinner we went back to my house and just enjoyed the rest of the night talking and learning more about each other and the different ways we do everything, he and my brother talked as well as my mom and him, I think we ended up watching some stuff for a bit, it was getting late, I don’t think it was super late, but it was late and yeah that was pretty much the meeting.

There was other stuff that happened of course, but those were the main things I remember……….after a while of being up we started heading to sleep and that was pretty much the rest of the night. I just really love that memory, it’s one of my favorites, having him with me was the greatest thing, I didn’t want him to ever leave…………..P.S. If you’re wondering how long he stayed for he’s was here for 2 weeks the first time he visited.

It’s crazy though because even though we had just met and everything (in person is what I mean) it’s crazy because it always felt like we knew each other even though we had just met and I know that probably sounds cheesy and i’m not trying to be sappy with all of this, it’s just, it’s insane how you can come across someone for the first time, but feel like you’ve known them for longer than you have and i’m not just talking about me and him, that also happened with me and my friend Ray, when I first met her in person too, we clicked automatically and it felt like I had known her for years and that’s how it was with my boyfriend, it felt like we’ve been together for years, yet we had just met…………..that’s wild and man, very.

Me and him are complete opposites though, but we also have this thing where it’s like, although we like different things and we’re from two different worlds, we still fit well with each other, he gets me and I get him and although we’re different we’re also the same in some senses as well, it’s hard to explain, but overall, he’s one of my best friends and although sometimes we see things a lot differently to each other, I wouldn’t and couldn’t ask for anyone better.

I could sit here and talk about him the whole day, but i’m sure you guys would find it to be very boring so I won’t, but I just wanted to share that little memory here with you guys since it’s something that means a lot to me.

Disclaimer it’s going to get a little sappy so if you don’t want to read this part I get it XD, anyway:

If you’re reading this my love, I just want to say how much I love you and how grateful and thankful I am to have you, you really do make me the happiest girl in the world and I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else. Thank you for everything that you do for me and for always being there when I need you the most, I appreciate and adore you like crazy and I really am truly lucky to have you in my life, you’re my absolute world and I miss you everyday like mad. I’m also very proud of everything you do, always remember that. I love you loads and with all of my heart, always will.

Okay sappy part is done now, you can read on if you haven’t already left haha, there’s not really much else to read though so yeah……..

All The Love ❤ ❤


First Journal…..

Update: Hey everyone, hope you’re all well and enjoying the day just giving you a heads up, I wrote this post a few days ago, can’t remember when exactly, I think I wrote this Thursday or Wednesday, one of those days. In this post i’ll be sharing a small story on my very first journal and speaking about journals in general.

I don’t know exactly when I first started writing, I think I just randomly picked it up somehow, i’m not sure………I think the first thing I ever wrote was a random story I made up while playing with some dolls I had when I was younger, yeah I know. I would always make stuff up when playing with them, but there was this one day where something in me was like, “maybe you should write this down”, I think I had them pretend they were in a school play and I guess I wanted it to be real and so I remember writing the lines, well words that I was saying out loud in this notebook that I had.

I actually had to re-write the story in a really huge notebook because in the notebook I originally wrote it in, it started coming apart and the pencil was fading from it as well, so I had to switch it over. Now the story was the first thing I wrote, but not in a journal, the first journal that was given to me was from my mom, I guess she noticed I was starting to write a lot and so she bought a journal for me, it’s a red one and I actually still have it, when she gave it to me, she wrote a long note in it, which was nice.

I still have that note as well, however the page she wrote it on ripped from the journal, but I still kept it though as a nice memory. I got it when I was around 13, I think I was still in middle school when she gave it to me, I never had an actual personal journal before so I was a little excited when I got it, I ended up writing my songs in there.

I started writing songs around age 13 as well, I believe the first song I ever wrote was a song called Don’t Let Me Go, I don’t remember the lyrics to it, but I still have the song so I can just look back at it……..I use to write a whole lot of songs, at the time of course you think they make sense and then you look back at them when you’re older and you realize they didn’t or you feel they weren’t as good as you thought they were when you wrote it originally.

Anytime I find myself down memory land, looking back at all those songs, some of them are surprising to me and some of them are like “What was I thinking when I wrote this” not all of them are like that though, there’s a good amount of them that I actually still like lyric wise, but if there’s certain lyrics I don’t like or i’m not sure about, then I think to myself “I might change that later” but some are okay, the other ones I keep away if I don’t like them completely.

Ever since I got my first actual journal, I just started becoming obsessed with journals all together, I think it’s because in my opinion, journals are like this precious thing to you once you are either given one or you get one and because you know it’s yours, it becomes very personal to you to where you never want it out of your sight, plus there’s just something about owning a journal. You can write about anything you want when having a journal, you don’t have to give it a specific personality, you could just go to town with it, it gives you this sense of comfort, stability, connection and it lets you choose what it is you want it to be.

You know what I love!? I love when you see a journal or when you’re holding a journal and right away you know exactly what you’re going to put in it, that feeling and sense of knowing is one of my favorite things. You do however, have some journals where you don’t know what to fill in it, some are easy to decide and others are a little harder, I have a lot of journals and a lot of them i’ve already figured out what their gonna be and then I have some where I still think what I want them to say, my point is I just love journals!!

They let you express yourself in ways that are endless and you have the choice and power to give them a voice of love and light or maybe you want them to say words that you feel you can’t or don’t want to say out loud. It’s crazy because we all know that ever since technology came into our lives, we only ever use that, when we’re feeling something or we need to write something down we don’t think of grabbing a journal or a piece of paper, we just add it to our notes in our phones or deal with it, which is fine, but I always feel having a little journal or a notebook of some sort, can come in handy for when you’re unable to use your phone or computer.

This probably went off track a whole lot, but thinking about how I even got into writing (even though i’m not sure what made me want to start writing) and also where I started with my very first journal, I think that’s why I love and appreciate them so much, it gave me this voice that I didn’t really know I had and it let me also express myself in a whole lot of different ways, not just with my thoughts, it let me express myself with lyrics, ideas, stories, dreams, even reviews for a good while.

I owe a lot to writing and journals, they really became a huge part of my life, which you wouldn’t think that something so……..simple we’ll say, would really be that big to you, but it is, well for some it is, which is a little crazy to think, but also not as well you know!? I know writing and journals aren’t for everyone and that’s alright, but I still think they’re great. Last thing, you know what I realize!? when you’re saying things out loud not a lot of people listen or take notice as much, unless you’re one of those people who, when you walk into a room everyone has their attention on you, like you make them listen, you know what I mean!?

For those who keep to themselves though and don’t have that confidence to approach people or things that way, to have something like journals or anything creative where everything they want to say out loud, but just aren’t able to, they can just put it into something else like their art or writing and you don’t know it because they do it in a way that, if you want to figure out what they’re trying to say, you have to either read it, listen to it or look at it very closely, for you to be able to speak their language and understand their mind and feelings, which I think is very fascinating.

Do you or have you ever owned a journal and if so, what was your first ever journal and what kind of stuff did you write in it!?

All The Love ❤ ❤