Focus….

Keep your focus, try not to get distracted on things that don’t matter, I get it it’s hard to stay focused when there’s so much going on around you, but you have to keep your mind on the things that matter to you, the more we focus on the things that irritate us, the more things are going to irritate us……..

Yes I know all of that is easier said then done, but you have to try, you don’t want to keep having yourself move backwards, you have to want as well as do your best to move forwards no matter how scary it may seem……

It may leave you unsure moving forwards, but it’ll make you feel so great knowing that you did it and that you are moving somewhere, yeah it can be nerve wrecking and all, but don’t you think it’ll be worth all the nerves!?

I’m sure there’s no better feeling than seeing yourself become something you never imagined and just seeing how far you can really fly!!! You know you want to and you know that you also need to, also try not to look so much into things, you’re only distracting yourself more doing that…….

Even if you feel the tension or you’re feeling stressed out and everything, just keep going and keep focused, believe me you’ll thank yourself for it.

Don’t bother with the words of other people, keep attempting that jump to fly, because trust me you can do it, it’s there, you just need to trust yourself.

Don’t think about it too hard and don’t stress so much about it, just stay focused and keep on going, you’ll get it, you just have to trust and believe.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Having The Pace Of A Turtle, But Wanting Things To Go Quickly Like The Hare

Question of the day: If you had to compare the way you do things to any animal you could think of, what animal would you be and why are you that animal!?

If I had to compare myself to an animal, I think I would be a turtle and i’ll do my best to explain why that is. You see i’ll admit i’m not the fastest person when it comes to doing things, I like to take my time with everything, make sure everything’s good, maybe that’s a bad trait and all, I don’t know……..The reason i’m talking about this topic is because I discussed this earlier in a new evening page I wrote, along with some other topics, i’m sure this will get somewhere, however i’m not sure if it’s gonna make sense, but i’ll do my best. 

In my evening page I talk how I see myself as a turtle when it come to the pace in which I do most things and to a lot of people it’s probably annoying, to them it might seem a little lazy I guess, but i’ve never really been a quick person, I like to take my time with things and let things happen naturally, however that being said, i’m also the kind of person who, at the same time likes certain things to happen right away and believe me I know it’s confusing and a little odd, I didn’t really think about it until I started writing this. I have this thing where I don’t really do things fast enough to everyones liking, i’m a laid back kind of person mixed with being sometimes energetic when either really excited or for no reason at all.

That energetic version of me as wondered off somewhere though and I don’t know when it is she’ll be back, but I do hope she returns soon. Until then, i’ve been accompanied by this calm, yet overly anxious kind of version of myself, if that makes sense……..I stay to myself a lot of the time and I don’t really go out much, lately I just sit in my room and write all the time and I do some videos and edit them here and there. A lot of people sure have taken notice though when it comes to me staying to myself a lot of the time, to them it seems like i’m doing nothing and all I do is stay in my room and okay the room thing is true, i’m not gonna lie with that, but when it comes to the nothing part, well that’s not entirely true, I may not do a whole lot like everyone else, but it doesn’t mean that i’m not doing my best and being productive or anything. 

In my evening page, I talked about how there’s a difference between me and a turtle and that difference is a turtle has a whole lot more determination then I do. I mean in the story the turtle and the hare, we all know that the hare thought it was gonna easily win the race just because it was faster and quicker then it’s competitor, he took so many breaks, while the turtle just continued on pushing and kept on going, not once did it give up, even when the hare was in the lead a lot of the time…….in the end though, we find out that the winner of the race was the turtle, because of his/her persistence and willing to keep going no matter what anyone else thought.

I could definitely learn a lot from the turtle when it comes to persistence and determination, I know nothing’s a race, but sometimes it’s hard not see everything as one when everything around you seems to be moving at full speed and you have people who are doing so much and then you look at yourself wondering what it is you’re doing wrong and yeah, maybe that’s not the best way to look at things. I should be happy and proud of where i’m at in my life or with what i’m doing, even if other people tell me i’m not where I should be. No one should be able to tell you that you’re not where you should be though, only you should have that judgement, if you like where you are then you’re doing fine in life, but if you feel that you should be working just a little bit harder, than work a little bit harder, but do it because you want to, because it fills you with joy and because you want to be better, don’t do because everyone tells you, you’re not where you should be. 

I’m gonna do my best to keep this in mind as well whenever I become sad or unhappy with where i’m at in my life or questioning whether i’m doing everything alright, I realize I have a hard time taking my own advice when it comes to stuff like this and I know I need to do better at that, comparing myself to everyone else isn’t gonna do me any good. I need to keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong with doing things at a slower pace compared to how everyone else does it, yeah I’m a mixture of both the hare and the turtle, I feel i’ll always have that hare persona when it comes to wanting things to go super quickly, but I need to accept that my pace in doing things is a turtle way of doing things and learn to also appreciate the journey of it. 

Just because I do things a lot slower than most people, doesn’t mean I have to see it as a bad thing, I should be happy that i’m a turtle, because me having a bit of that persona means that if I just stay determine and keep going without worrying about everyone else’s input or just in general, I will eventually get to a place to where i’m happy with it fully and to where I can say i’m really proud of myself for not giving up.

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Kris Mikael Krister on Unsplash

Listen To Yourself When It Tells You Not To Listen To YourSelf

I know the title’s probably confusing you guys, so i’m gonna explain it in the best way that I can on what I mean. The reasoning for this title is, because we all have a habit of going so deep within ourselves, well more like our minds like to make us go deep with ourselves and pick every flaw we have, as well as choosing memories that we try to avoid, all because it just likes putting all these negative emotions and feelings in front of us, so that way we go off track and wander off into that neck of the woods, even when we tell ourselves to avoid that part of the woods, sometimes we listen and sometimes we go and wonder off anyway. 

We all have moments where the negativity in our heads become so strong that it kinda makes it hard to ignore them and although we try and try to push them aside when they start to creep up, they never like to stay put. Negativity loves to get in our faces and make us believe that everything that we’re feeling, every little thought and worry that we have is worth stressing over and it’s not, it’s really not, yet, no matter how many times we tell ourselves to stop stressing and not think so much on it, we all know that sometimes it’s just easier said then done.

We can have days to where we listen to ourselves about it, but most of the time, although we try, we let our minds win and that’s not good because if we keep letting our minds win when it comes to negativity, we’re always gonna embrace the negatives and you never want that. Unraveling and drowning ourselves in our own negative thoughts………..we’re stronger than that and we don’t need it…….we don’t need it at all and that’s why I say listen to yourself, when it tells you not to listen to yourself. By telling yourself not to listen to your own thoughts anymore, when it comes to the negatives, you give yourself the chance to put your focus onto things, worth focusing on while giving yourself a better outlook and mindset as well.

I know that sometimes it can be super, heck extremely hard to try and keep yourself from going down that neck of the woods, believe me I know, but every time you find yourself or feel yourself wandering off, stop and really think, “Is this thing that i’m stressing on and overthinking really that important and is it doing me any good, am I benefitting from it!? If you find yourself unable to come up with anything useful, then wander off somewhere else because it’s not worth it.  Also remember sometimes we are our own worst enemy and although we should always trust ourselves, sometimes we have to keep ourselves from invading our own personal space at times. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Jon Eric Marababol on Unsplash

Why Do We Doubt Ourselves!? (Evening Pages Nov 14, 2018)

So i’ve been trying to figure out what to write for a bit now, i’ve been writing in my writing journal, earlier I wrote a new evening page, it was on what was in my head this morning, I started to write another journal entry on something and the title I wrote here, is the same title I wrote in my writing journal. The question I ask is why when it comes to self doubt…….why is it that we doubt ourselves so much!? It seems like when we were younger, we had more confidence then we do now in ourselves, which is crazy to look back on, i’m sure a lot of us were super energetic, didn’t have a care in the world on anything, we just all did our own thing without having to worry about it.

It’s like the older you get, the things that you would normally feel confident about as a kid, you don’t feel as much getting older. Now i’m not saying everyone does that, i’m sure there’s a whole lot of people who were the same from a child to now. However most of us, we know what it’s like to change in order to meet peoples standards the older we get. If someone doesn’t like something we do, we change ourselves so that way they do like us better, we try and mold ourselves to everyones perception of us that when it comes to really looking at yourself in the mirror, it’s hard to know who you really truly are……..and when you try to break out of those molds, you find yourself getting backlash for it.

People see that you want to change and you know you want to change, because you feel that there’s just so much more to you then what meets the eye and you want to see what that is, but not everyone will see it the same as you and that’s something that not only they need to come to terms with, but you need to come to terms with yourself. Everyone will have their opinions, judgements and thoughts about it, but you…….you have to know that this change, this thing that you find yourself in the middle of, you have to know that it’s not all bad, sure it may seems like it, but it’s not. Everyone changes and not everyone is gonna be the same for long.

If you’re going through some kind of change, maybe it’s because you need the change because maybe the way you were and the things you did before…….maybe they just aren’t meant to be there forever with you, maybe they were just there for the moments that you needed it………I find myself wondering whether the person I am now this version of me, I wonder whether I went wrong with her or something and the thing is………I actually don’t feel like I did, I know i’m not the same as I was a few months ago, a few months ago I was happy, happier than i’ve ever been, me now……..i’m half kinda happy, but also half not fully completely happy and you’re probably thinking what does this have to do with self doubt!?

Well……..when you know that you’ve changed and that you just aren’t the same person everyone was used to and that you were use to, it makes you look back on a lot of things from the moments that you were, to how you are now and it makes you question, even when you feel like this new you, this new version of you might just do you good…….it will still have you question yourself and it will leave you to doubt yourself and if you’ve always been the kind of person to have issues with self doubt, whether that be in yourself, the decisions that you’ve made, it will still effect you.

Even when it does though, you just keep in mind that everyone changes, you included, you may not understand why and you may not like it at first, but eventually you’ll come to realize that you changing isn’t a bad thing, it’s far from it. The only thing that comes from change is new opportunities and a new kind of growth, so again, no matter how many judgements you get, keep in mind that when you start to doubt yourself when it comes to how you’re doing things and all that, know that you have nothing to worry about, because you’re doing fine, you just gotta keep going and eventually you’ll see that the change you’ve come across will only be for the better even if you think it wont. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Christian Holzinger on Unsplash

Feeling Like You’re Not Making Progress (Inspired Blog Post)

So I was watching one of my favorite Youtuber’s earlier and the video that I watched was titled “When You’re Not Making Progress” the topic was discussed by a British Youtuber named Lucy Moon, she talks about a lot of different things on her channel, surrounded by life, she has podcast and this really cool monthly series called The Sunday Social (I don’t always watch them on Sundays I pick and choose when I want to watch it haha……ehm…..anyway) her channel is pretty much on the lifestyle sort of town at least I would say, she runs her channel a specific way that I enjoy, but anyway back to the topic of this blog post…….So I was watching her video and she was talking about how when it comes to making progress in our life be it within ourselves, relationships, the things we do and just life in general, no matter how hard we work sometimes for some people we don’t always end up where we think we should be.

She also talked about how it can be very frustrating to know that you’re putting in the hard work with everything that you’re doing and you still end up not really moving in the direction that you want to move in and having that feeling of “well i’m doing everything here and yet I still feel like i’m getting nowhere” that kind of feeling can really put a damper on you and make you unmotivated to want to do anything. She also talked about what she learned saying, even when it gets to that point, you should still keep pushing and work hard because even though you may not be at that point in your life that you want to be, you should still keep going because eventually all that hard work will pay off in the end, so that’s what I want to talk about.

I want to put my thoughts in to what she was saying in her video because when I watched it, everything she was saying, I too had those feelings before and i’m still going through those feeling in a way sometimes, but i’m also learning that if you want to get somewhere, hard work, determination and consistency (is the key word for me) is what you have to keep your focus on if you want to move forward, as well as small steps too. She then compared her life and work schedule with all of her friends, saying how they’re doing so much more than what she’s doing and said how everyone knows that comparing yourself to others isn’t the best thing to do, we all do it and it’s just one of those habits that we find hard to get rid of, because most times we’re surrounded by people who have already achieved so much and here we are just kinda on the same boat, floating by wishing we were in their shoes and that kind of thing can lead to discouragement for some people.

We start to think to ourselves “oh well, since i’m not where everyone else is in my life, is it even worth continuing doing what i’m doing!?” and the answer to that is yes, do continue, because yeah sure it’s hard and it’s super super frustrating to put so much hard work, heart and soul into something and yet still feel like no matter how much hard work you put in to everything, it’s like you still don’t move and you know you’re working really hard, but sometimes things just don’t happen to us as quickly as others or as we would like it too, but even when that happens that still shouldn’t discourage you from continuing building what it is you have already built for yourself.

We get so caught up in other people lives that, we start to have this mindset because someone else did it, we did it……..but they’re moving forward and we’re in the same position and with still being where we are, we tend to kick ourselves down and wonder why we can’t have that kind of life and the thing is, we can…….we’re just too afraid to and so instead of working toward giving ourselves the kind of life we want to have, we just kinda start to envy other people for having the exact life we dream of having and that’s not good, because we shouldn’t ever compare our lives to someone else’s. Everyone has a story to them that we don’t know and everyone has a battle they go through that we don’t see or even acknowledge. My point though is I went off topic…….I meant to talk about making progress no matter how slow you go, but it just ended up turning into when you’re not making progress so we’re just gonna roll with it okay, yeah, cool….awesome!!

So let’s talk feeling like you’re not making progress especially when everyone around you is in a world where everything they do gets them to a place so much faster compared to where it gets us……..we all know that progress is all about doing things in the pace you’re able to handle, hence why it’s called progress, it’s all about how much and how well you’re doing that will determine how everything else is gonna go in your life, so if you do things slowly it might go a little bit slow, but if you’re the kind of person to get things done when they need to be done then, you’re not really gonna have a problem with getting to the places that you want to get to. Some of us are turtles (me) and others are bunnies (my boyfriend) just giving you some examples on what i’m talking about.

Anyway you shouldn’t think of progress as a race is what i’m getting at, everyone has their own pace that they go at, some are slower while others are a bit faster and that’s okay, you don’t need to try and out run everyone, you just do things your way and at your own pace. Progress is all about building, it takes time to progress in something, first comes an idea of some sort, then there’s a goal you’re trying to reach and then from there you keep working toward building to get to that goal and the more you keep on going the quicker you get there, it may not be right away, but you’ll always come close to reaching it.

Progress like I said takes time, sure we may all want things to happen to us right away, but if we’re being real we know that it’s not, it doesn’t mean we won’t ever get there it just means that we’ll have to go through the dirt a bit to get there. I’m not saying you have to throw yourself through the dirt fully (okay maybe sometimes) but you’ll have to get a little messy and you’ll find that getting a little messy is sometimes worth it………..unless you just bought yourself some new clothes and you’re having the best day ever and then out of nowhere something happens to where you get your clothes dirty and your now standing there shocked, angry and ready to scream your heart out because you just got your new clothes dirty…….but besides that getting messy is worth it sometimes.

It’s okay if you start things off a bit late or slower than others when trying to make progress in reaching your goals, keep in mind that in order for others to have reached their goals it too took them some time, but they still got there and you will too. Don’t sweat on how long it’s taking you to reach your goal, it may not happen for you right then and there, but know that you’ll get there soon enough, just keep on going and keep on working hard and know that eventually your time will come, the more progress you make from constantly going, the closer and sooner you’ll get to where you want to be. Keep your head up, mind focused and keep on filling that progress bar of yours, you’ll be happy that you did and remember don’t worry about what everyone else is doing because it only matters what you’re doing and how proud you’ll make yourself in the end.

That is all from me for now, I hope this helps some of you and you’re able to take something from this, if you’re interested in wanting to watch the video I was talking about you can watch it here: When You’re Not Making Progress (Lucy Moon) It’s a really good video and me watching it helped me feel better about myself and it helped me just kinda accept that it doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you just keep going and i’m doing my best to remind myself everyday of that. Maybe you’ll also learn something from this video like I did and who knows you might actually find yourself someone new to watch, I would recommend watching her other videos too because I think she’s great, I love watching her videos because 1. Their cozy, 2. You can sometimes learn from her videos and 3. She’s just great, I know I said that already, but it’s true……but yeah I hope that you enjoy the video. If you don’t that’s fine, it doesn’t have to be for everyone, but I just wanted to share this with you guys just in case you want to check it out, if you do like Lucy Moon and content videos show her some love and support, i’m sure she’ll appreciate it, but anyway I hope you’re all having a lovely day and if not well I hope you find something to make your day better 🙂 (Originally Written Aug 13th) 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Being Inspired By Others And Finding Inspiration In Everything……

When it comes to inspirations we all have our fair share of people who inspire us, whether it be the way they do things, how their character is or just their personality, we all have someone we look up to or want to be more like, although we shouldn’t try to be exactly like someone but ourselves, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to aspire to be like someone a bit, maybe they have some kind of trait to them that you may be looking for in yourself as well or maybe there’s something that they do that makes you want to give a try too, it doesn’t have to be anything like making something, i’m talking more on the way they do something (if that makes sense) I find myself always observing those who I either look up to or those who inspire me and just think to myself “how it is they do what they do so naturally and are able to go about doing those things!?” So in order to figure that out, i’ll start taking in and observing their characteristics and just everything about them just to kinda get a clue, so like taking notes in a way.

Everyone has something special within themselves, but everyone also does things differently, so what others do isn’t always going to be in the same way we do things, we’re all different for a reason, but we’re always gonna have certain people we look to, that either match our personality and is someone we can relate to or there maybe someone that is different from us to where how they are, starts to interest us and we may want to see what it is that is making us get drawn to them and once we figure it out we sometimes end up picking up their habits or ways of doing things without even knowing we’re doing it. It’s just one of those things where the more you interact with those who inspire you or just those you like being around, the more you’ll be inspired by them to try to either do what they do if what they do is also something you like or just do your own thing, but do it in a way that you think they would do it, that could also benefit you and possibly help you as well.

The fact that our inspirations are people we feel a strong connection to says a lot about our personalities and us as a person as well, we attract like minded people like ourselves, people we’re able to bounce off ideas with or who share the same views and perspective as us, sometimes we’ll also come across those who are total opposites from us, but for some reason they have this way of balancing us out and helping us see things in a different perspective then to how we see it, which tends to actually make things a lot better for us in the long run. Anyone can be an inspiration to you, it could be someone in your family, a friend, a partner, even those who see you as inspiration even though you don’t see that in yourself, it doesn’t have to be just celebrities or an artist you like listening to, you can even be an inspiration to yourself and not realize it, you just gotta believe that you are.

Inspiration comes from all sorts of places, nature, music, art, anywhere really, there’s always going to be something that inspires you and that makes you want to be better and that keeps you going, whenever you’re feeling down or worn away. Inspiration doesn’t have to come from a specific place or person, because there will always be something that sparks a light in our brain that makes us want to change something and make that difference that we’re needing or that others may need. You could go through the worst of times and someone will still see you as an inspiration, you could be at your lowest and have the worst mind ever and still have someone rooting for you to keep going and tell you that they believe in you and you are the reason they are who the are and you may not believe it, but to them whether you think you did or not, you somehow changed their life and impacted them in the best way and you don’t even have to do anything big, it could be the tiniest of gestures to you, but it maybe a big thing to them and whoever sees you in a good light.

To inspire you have to be inspired so if you want to change something and you want to make an impact of some sort, find something or someone that inspires you and when you get that spark of light or lighting in your mind keep it, hold on it and let that be your fuel to keep going and find happiness from within if you need it and if you’re unable to find the inspiration that you’re looking for from someone or something, try looking at the things that make you happy and use that as inspiration. Think of this, say there was a day you were down and while walking you found the most prettiest of leaves or flower on the ground and when you saw that flower or leaf, you began to smile and admire it for a while and after you finished admiring it, you went on about the rest of your day feeling better, telling people about it and to them it’s not the biggest thing, but to you it mean’t something and made you feel happy, so whenever you’re feeling un-inspired and down about things, just remember that flower or leaf you once came across that brought happiness to you again and use that as inspiration and fuel to keep on going.

Sometimes it the smallest of things that can bring more light, spark creativity and inspire you in a way that no one or nothing else can. When feeling inspired by others though, make sure you let them know how much you appreciate them and how much they mean to you if you can and whatever they do be sure to support them and if their looking for inspiration, try and give them that if you’re able to, i’m sure they’ll really appreciate it.

Annnd with all that, that is the blog for today……I just want to say sorry for not posting that much lately, i’ve been going through some stuff within myself and i’ve just been trying to sort it, but I haven’t quite got it yet, but i’m working on it. I always try and bring you guys positive blog posts, but sometimes it’s hard when you yourself aren’t always positive, you know!? When it comes to writing I know that your writing is a reflection of you and when you write, you’re pretty much letting others in with your emotions and your thoughts and it wouldn’t be right to write something for the heck of it knowing that you’re not really all there and your mind isn’t there either, I always want to write positive blog posts and have it be helpful to you guys if you’re ever going through something similar or just want to read something to make you feel better if you’re feeling a bit down, but anyway I hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Finding My Niche (My Confidence Struggle Story)

Confidence is something we all struggle with at some point in our lives, for some confidence comes pretty easy at least it seems like it, for those who have a lot of confidence i’m sure they at one point in their life didn’t have it and had to build up theirs until they had enough to feel good about themselves, sure there are a lot of other people who’s confidence is off the roof and it makes you wonder whether if they are just full of themselves, if that’s just their way of trying to get people’s attention or if it actually took them so long to gain the confidence and because they now have it, they’re happy and are just showing a different side to themselves that they never knew they had. Having so much confidence isn’t always a bad thing it just shows that you’re proud of who you are and who you’ve become if you struggled with confidence for a while, however sometimes for some people having so much confidence can get to you and it can turn you into a completely different person that isn’t good for you and that’s just gonna leave you in the middle of the road in the pouring rain by yourself, with that said though people who struggle with confidence there’s always a reason for it, maybe they had something really big happen in their lives to where confidence was hard to gain or every time they were confident about something they had people around them kinda push them down a notch or they just have trouble really seeing themselves the way others see them, there’s a lot of different reasons.

Some may think that having confidence is bad but it’s not, it’s just all on how you use your confidence, but if you’re the kind of person who struggles with being confident don’t you worry you’re not alone here, I too struggle with confidence, it was always one of those things I never really embraced, It’s weird though because I am happy with myself and I love who I am as a person, sure I have my flaws, but doesn’t everyone!? When it comes to confidence within myself and my personality that i’m good with, so if someone calls me weird and tells me I talk a lot, it doesn’t bother me because i’m happy with who I am personality wise, but when it comes to having confidence in my abilities and the things I do, that’s a different story……….you see I always had this thing where I would start something and i’d make progress with it, but then after a while i’d stop doing it and would never finish it, for example: Youtube, a lot of you won’t know this, but I did Youtube and I still have it, but I don’t upload on it much. I started Youtube a few times my first channel was back in i’d say 2011!? ( I checked it was in 2011) anyway so yeah I did Youtube a few times I have 3, but I only use 2, my first one I haven’t used in years though.

Long story short with me doing Youtube I never use to be super consistent with it, when I did start it I would post not everyday, but more than I did after I had it for a while if that makes sense and i’d enjoy it and have fun with it, but I wouldn’t really put my all into it, I had all these ideas and i’d write them down, but I wouldn’t go forth with most of them because I wasn’t feeling confident enough with it, there were times I had something going and then i’d give up on it after a while because I didn’t feel it anymore, well more like I wasn’t sure how it would be perceived so I stopped it before it could get somewhere……..I guess you can say I was scared in a way, you see yourself doing well and you’re happy, but then that doubt in you comes to play and tries to throw you off course and makes you second guess yourself, telling you that your ideas aren’t gonna work and no ones gonna like it, so everything where i’d put a lot of my heart into and would give a try, i’d step back and just pretty much abandon it, giving up on my ideas and the hard work that I’d put into it……..and I would try so hard not to do that, i’d step away from my channels thinking that I would come back a different person, but it was always the same person coming back, i’d stay for a bit, then disappear for a few months then come back once more and you get it.

So that’s where my confidence lacks, I would give up on myself and my ideas before I even got started and by me doing that to myself where i’d start something and not finish it, that caused me to sorta have an identity breakdown in a way, everything I tried to stick with I never stuck with and it just got the point where I just didn’t care anymore and I just kinda gave up in a way, I use to constantly wonder what I was gonna do with myself and with that it caused me to become unhappy with myself and I didn’t like that. I’d always express the way I felt to my friends and my boyfriend and goodness i’m surprised they’re still around because most people would just get tired of the same thing and you constantly telling them how you just don’t know what to do with yourself, but they always were patient with me and always gave me advice, the main things they’d say was to just stay consistent, focused and have fun with it and even though I would constantly beat myself up on it, they were always so supportive and believed that I would find something, always saw and still see the best in me when I didn’t see it myself, it’s just great to have people like that who even when you kick yourself down or you think that what you’re doing isn’t good, they’ll always tell you that you’re doing great, how proud they are of you, how they will always support you no matter what and that they’d always be there if anything.

When it came to finding my niche though, It wasn’t until I asked my friend Ray about her blog  and I was always curious on what it was like to have a blog, it was always one of my interests, but I never was sure whether to start one or not because I didn’t know if I was going be good at it but I realized when I was going through a self discovery thing and trying to find what was for me, I noticed how much I started writing more and I always questioned why it was I had so many journals and why I was so obsessed with them, but I also never questioned it at the same time, because I was happy. People would always ask why do you need/have so many journals!? and i’d always respond with “well because I like them” but I never actually questioned it unless someone would point it out and then i’d think “yeah why do I have so many Journals!?” but back to my friend Ray, so I asked her about blogging and she told me all that she knew and gave me advice and I told her I was thinking of starting one and she told me I should because in her words when she did it, she remembered how cozy it made her feel being able to write whatever she wanted and it’s thanks to her I now write everyday. She actually got me started on it and yeah I was nervous on starting it because I didn’t want to mess it up and have it be another thing that I give up on, I wanted this time to be different and I wanted to really have something that I could be proud of and say hey I do this everyday and i’m happy about it.

Well now I can finally say i’m happy and I mean happy then I ever was when I was doing Youtube not saying I didn’t like it I did, it helped me show my personality and I got to have fun with it, but what i’m saying is I love writing just a little bit more and it’s now been 2 weeks since I started blogging (2 weeks yesterday) and I keep saying to the people that know I blog and support me on it, that I feel like I finally found my thing and i’m proud of not only the blog, but also myself because i’m pushing myself everyday and really putting my heart and soul into it without feeling like I have to, it’s always because I want to and with writing I said this to my boyfriend yesterday, I always feel like it’s the one thing that I don’t ever have to question or doubt myself in because I love it so much and being able to express myself in a way that I may not be able to out loud, but I can with writing, makes me feel really good and also pretty confident in a way because I know that with this I don’t have to think twice, I can just write.

Confidence isn’t a feeling, I mean it is, but confidence comes from within you and all the different things that you do, so if you see that you’re doing something, you’re enjoying it and you see that you’re progressing in it, keep going and if you have ideas or you are feeling really good about something to where it’s making you happy, then try them out and don’t be discouraged on seeing where it can go and where it can take you, if you go into something with confidence and a positive mindset, you’re already there because you’re confident in your ideas, you’re believing in your abilities and just yourself in general. As for finding your niche (your thing) that will come to you naturally, you just got to let it and if you aren’t sure what your thing is try looking at the things you do the most and where you’re always being drawn to, maybe that’ll give you an idea on what is made for you. I hope you’re able to find your niche in life and when you do stick with it, believe in it and most importantly believe in yourself. If you’re having self doubt about whether something will work or not just replace those thoughts with it will work if I make it work. If you believe in something then go with it and just see what happens when you bring your ideas to life, it may surprise you and in the process you’ll become more confident and proud of yourself knowing you went for it.

Aaaaand that’s my blog post for today (tonight) I didn’t expect to write this much and for it to be this long, but sometimes you just gotta let your heart and soul do the speaking for you, I was having a conversation with my boyfriend on this topic yesterday and I guess it stuck with me and I needed to get my realizations out about myself, I hope you guys are able to take something from this blog post even though I pretty much told a story here………maybe there’s something in here that you can take from it who knows, anyways I hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening.

Originally written On July 26

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~