Levels Of Growth

Maaan has it been a while since my last post, it’s not yet been a month, but it’s been a while! Honestly I’ve wanting to write something for the longest, yet nothing ever sparked my interest enough to say “yeah this might be a good thing to talk about” We’re already in the middle of April and each day that came by I would just say to myself, I haven’t written not one thing this month and maybe that’s alright, but to me I just felt like What is going on there!? Today however, I feel a little bit inspired to write so I shall take whatever this inspiration is and do my best to just go with it! It feels good to write something that I can share after a long while….

Now before we continue on, I just want to say that I have been writing this month, I just haven’t written anything to share, my writing have been more personal based these days, I guess that’s just where I’m at currently, which I know isn’t a bad thing, but still I have been wanting to share something and I guess that’s where this post comes in! As you can see I’ve titled this post levels of growth, why exactly? That’s a good question, let’s just say it was something that felt right to title here…..growth is a significant thing that we all experience in our lifetime constantly, be it a small growth or a really big way of transforming…sometimes we can see it pretty clear and sometimes we don’t always know when the next transformation will be….we can sense it and feel it coming, but we don’t always know, but that’s the beauty of it yeah!?

Life has many ways of challenging you, as well putting you in a postition of what you feel to be the best way to grow and trive, but it doesn’t mean that it’s entirely easy…..it can be as simple as choosing your favorite game to play or what kind of snack you’re in the mood for, I know pretty weird seeing it that way, but what I mean by that is life is that simple most times, it’s just other things that can make it seem difficult! When you look at the word Growth on it’s own, it makes you feel something doesn’t it? You know it’s got an importantance to it, yet the word looks simple, it doesn’t really look all that intimidating when you’re just reading the word….but the feel and experience that comes with it can be quite frightening when you’re looking at it more deeply.

It’s like when admiring a flower, you wouldn’t think they’re able to harm you, but look at roses, although they’re very beautiful to look at, you got to be careful when picking them, because they hold thorns….if you look at cacti you know not to touch them because you can see all the little needles it’s got, but even with knowing that people like to have them as plants and then there’s the Aloe plant although it’s got healing abilities, it too has it’s own thorns/needles, if you really think about though, the Aloe plant kind of has an accidental proneness connected to it, I say that beacause even when it hurts you, it’s character speaks loud without actually talking and it let’s you know “Oh i’m sorry, didn’t mean to hurt you, here let me help you”

I know this is probably getting off track, I was trying to make a point where I explain how just like some flowers have a bit a gray area, so does growth, I don’t know if I tied it in nicely enough, but hopefully it makes some kind sense! Anyway back to what I was saying….we all experience growth differently and sometimes it can be hard to embrace different levels of it, due to the fact that it can require a lot of braveness, courage and strength to help unlock that next transformation that we’re needing and majority of the time, however you feel yourself growing and changing, it’s not always going to be ideal for others, even those who are close to you….

You see for some, even when you are putting it out there how much you’ve progressed and evolved, sometimes it doesn’t get taken seriously and it can get very frustrating, because although your doing your best to show and let people know who you are and who you kind of always been deep down…..it can feel like they’re not really seeing you the way you’re wanting them to and are still sorta treating you the same, even when you know you’ve grown from that point. There’s going to come a moment where you know that, even though you may not want to, you’re going to have to do something so out of character where they have no choice, but to notice and really get them to see and think to themeselves “this is not the same person that I know”

After the reactions, you will probably most definitely feel a bit of a shift following that experience and to be honest there’s probably going to be some hurt involved and that’s going to probably hurt you, but with growth, you have to be strong and brave, you have to hold that courage inside otherwise what was it for!? If you want people to start seeing YOU and taking you more seriously…..you can’t be afraid to push back! Now even if you happen to leave someone hurt….don’t see it as an automatic negative experience, growth comes in many forms and although we all like life to be smooth sailing…..it’s not always going to be like that, there will be moments where you have to choose the road that involves a bit more…..deep breathing to get through and you will have to make a choice!

We always hear, take the road less traveled and I’m starting to realize and understand that, the road less traveled gives you the most experiences and how you choose to travel through it really comes down to what you feel inside and what your inner compass/heart is leading you toward….so if you feel you want to go a specific way, but you have people telling you to do it a certain way, you have to go with your own feelings, because at the end of the day….it’s your journey, we all share life, but we all have our way of living it, so if you feel strongly about something and you want to do it…..do it…..even if it requires you to go into the unknown of it and it may upset people, we shouldn’t have to feel like we can’t do something because it’ll make someone upset!

Sometimes we can get caught up in what others are saying, that we forget we have our own voice too and we don’t have to always go by what they say, if they can’t support you in the journey you choose for yourself then you have to know that it’s not on you to make them understand, cause they’re either going to understand by you be honest and letting them know right away or by you saying I’m going to do it anyway whether you like it or not and who knows maybe you’ll get the combination which can be more challenging and if you do get them both, it just shows you got more edge to you and your a badass kind of person!

Whatever is in your heart to do, please don’t hold yourself back, growth is scary, yes, but it’s also necessary for you to grow into the person you feel yourself to be….so with all that said, I shall leave you all with a quote, one of my favorites actually ^_^

“Don’t Hold Back, For Anyone…..The Further You Go, The Prouder I’ll Be”

Ming-Turning Red

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

You Can’t Hide From Yourself….

Let’s just get it off our chest, we’re uncomfortable…..we don’t like it and we want it to stop, buut it’s not going to is it!? As humans we always think we can escape our own uncomfortability, but the one person that you’re unable to get away from is yourself so what exactly are you doing!? You want to know why I’m uncomfortable!? Well, I’ll try to explain it in a way that, hopefully doesn’t reveal to many personal details, but to keep a long story short….I’m uncomfortable with the fact that, when I’m thinking about something that I know I want to do I will take FOREVER just to decide on it, even when I know I want to do it….

However, one thing about me that I know is my least favorite trait to my personality is…..I’m always siking myself out of things or I overthink it too much to where I already know it frustrates those around me, they don’t have to say it to me because I can feel it and by knowing that, it’ll brings me more stress and frustration because you know the reason you feel like that is due to the fact that you’re afraid to let people down, which wait for it…..adds MORE stress because you’re also fighting with yourself thinking “Why are you worrying about everyone else!?”

Asking yourself that question then just makes you want to scream because although you know why you worry, part of you just wish you didn’t worry or care so much about these things…..and all of that starts mixing together because you could never put you, nor your needs and wants first, leaving you to feel a little upset with yourself, where you’re just like “You always worry about other people and how they’re going to feel” although there’s nothing wrong with caring about others and wanting to make sure they’re going to be okay….

You as person also have to know when it’s time to say “I love you, but no” and be okay with choosing to honor yourself and the things you want to go after! That being said, we also have to live and embrace the uncomfortability of it all!! No matter what we do, we will always be uncomfortable, there’s no way of escaping it, we live to experience, we live to discover and to be amazed along with all the other emotions and feelings we go through within our journey here!

We have to be uncomfortable in order to know what we’re comfortable with, once that’s discovered, we then find and learn what our comfortablities are and how to embrace them along with the uncomfortable! It’s not something we have to necessarily like feeling, but it is something we have to accept whether we want to or not! We have to be okay with the shadow parts of ourselves…..if you really think about it, we’re practically yin and yang inside, we all have the light part of us and the dark part, if we are always leaning towards the light and pushing the dark away, we’re not really giving ourselves the chance to truly experience who we are all the way around…..which isn’t fair!

Just because something is dark doesn’t mean that there isn’t any goodness to it! I may have said this before already, but we all know how diamonds are formed, they go through a lot of pressure before turning into something beautiful!! Amethyst forms from volcantic lava and pearls can be found within oysters, before stones become stones they have to go through some kind of dark experience themselves before we get to see the true beauty of them…..it’s never easy when you feel like every wall is caving in on you or where things are just not going well whatsoever, BUT it’s important to be aware that, all of it is necessary and instead of seeing it as a negative experience automatically, we have to understand that, it happens because we’re evolving and we need it in order for our growth to thrive and for us to continue to be the best versions of ourselves that we already are wheher we see it or not!

We can’t have the good without the bad, even if we prefer it better, the more we try to resist the uncomfortable the more worst and uncomfortable it’s going to get, so allow it, accept it and be okay with it, you don’t have to love it, but honestly who loves being uncomfortable!? Allow the transformation that you’re going to be experiencing to unfold and happen and be amazed at what you see!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

February Is On It’s Way Out and Soon We’ll be Marching Into Spring!!

Happy Weekend Everyone!! Hope you’re having a very good Friday, I can’t believe that we’re pretty much done with the month of February…..it seems like it only just started and now it’s about to set on it’s journey to wherever all the months that finish up go!! It’s been a while since I’ve really spoken about how each month has been….I like to think that it’s had it’s ups and downs, but I guess that’s just something that always sorta happens, some days are better than most, while others have that inbetween thing going on.

It’s been quite the month February and although it’s not neccsarily done, it also practically is come Monday and then we’re into the month of March….which is nuts to think about, but then again, February isn’t really that long of a month anyway so, this one doesn’t feel like it went by all that quick, because it’s already a quick month anyway, with it only having 28 days to it……that being said it doesn’t mean there weren’t some hard moments with it, there’s still a lot going on and I feel like it’s going to be like that for a bit.

This year two different vibes to it, there’s apart of you that feels like you have to do it now, whatever you feel that to be for you and then there the other part of it where it’s like…..you can’t really put your finger on it, but it’s important to know….like I said this year just has the inbetween feeling and you’re having to make some big decisions and take action on them, because if you don’t your going to miss something and you’re going to wish you had!

I get it, it’s tough because it feels like you got two different parts of you talking and you’re trying to figure out what part to listen to…..even when you may already know…..with Winter on it’s way out the door and Spring around the corner, you just feel like it’s getting to a point where you know you have to make a choice and trust that, whatever choice you make will be good, although they say no choice is ever bad, it just leads you down a different road, but you have to ask if that road is something you’re okay with going down!?

If it’s a road that has been on your mind for quite some time, shouldn’t that say something? It’s not about fear anymore, it’s about taking that chance to see where that road leads you, the only thing you have to do is decide and make that choice already, because the more you think the less you’re going to actually go for it, so what’s it going to be? Will you take that chance or will keep thinking about it, you already know what you want to do so what’s stopping you!?

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Do What You Like, Be Free To Be Whatever!

This is probably one of the most cheesiest titles you’ve read or maybe not….if I’m being honest this title is a combination of two different lyrics from two different songs, both favorites of mine and by two artists that I admire! The first part of the title come from the song Living In Colour by non other than my all time favorite artist Alexz Johnson while the other part, kind of comes from the song No Regrets by an artist named Dappy at least it’s inspired by it anyway….I don’t know how many people know of either artist, but Alexz Johnson has always been one of my favorites since the moment I saw her show Instant Star, it was then I knew I found an artist I was going to listen to forever!

As for Dappy, I was introduced to his music by my partner whose a really big fan of his, the first song he ever had me listen to by Dappy was called Money Can’t Buy, it’s a love song of course, but it’s an amazing song and one of my other favorites!! Now Dappy isn’t just a singer he also raps too and comes from the UK, he also had this group called N-Dubs which had him, his cousin Tulisa and a friend of his I believe named Fazer who happens to rap as well! Now I’m not here to talk about these two artists, although they are great and their music is always a pleasure to listen to, I just wanted to explain the title name…..however I should point out that the actual lyrics to Dappy’s No Regrets is “I’m Free To Be Whatever I….”following a few bar flows after those lyrics!

What I really wanted to talk about is what I mean with the title I have there, well I will do my best to explain it at least! Now to me, both these lyrics have an encouragement feel to them, “Do what you like” by Alexz Johnson meaning “go for it” while the actual lyrics to Dappy’s song No Regrets ” I’m free to be whatever I…” that one goes more on the fact of having that freedom to do, well going back to the first song, pretty much whatever you like, being whoever it is you choose to be and allowing yourself to have the confidence to say “this is my life and I will decide how I want to live it” it’s letting you know to go after anything you believe in and are truly wanting without those regrets in the back of your mind, where you’re asking yourself “what if”

Keeping the what if’s in your head will always make you feel like, you have to just go with what’s there, but life isn’t about being okay with that, you have to be okay with change no matter how scary it is…..you don’t want to sit back and think to yourself “I didn’t, I should’ve, maybe” We always hear how short life is and the thing with it is, we think because we are still here doing the things we’re doing and getting to certain ages that it’s not really short, but it actually is….because you can walk past someone and that day their fine, but when you go to see them again….something is different and then next thing you know….you’re no longer seeing them!!

It’s a frightening scary thing and it’s something I don’t like to think about, but when you really look at it, it really does say a lot….we’re always worrying about everything, but that’s because we’re feeling things that we don’t even understand sometimes…..but it comes with the experience of life, but life is also meant to be experienced, you’re meant to be inspired, to be entertained and say “woah I’ve never seen that before or let alone known that it could exist” You’re meant to explore and feel different things, in different ways then imagined!!

There’s a lot of fear that is hard to shake within us, I have a few fears myself and one of them used to be change, I didn’t like things changing, I liked being safe and comfortable, I always thought that I wanted everything to stay the same, until eventually I witness change happening around me, forcing me to become uncomfortable and really see things differently and before I knew it…..I started to change and I saw how me changing and wanting different started to effect people around me!

I was always a certain way and when I stopped being that certain way and being vocal about it….it wasn’t well received, but I knew that it needed to happen because had it not happened, I would’ve still been in that situation…..the older I get the more I’m realizing how important it is to really go after what it is you want and not be afraid or feel bad for wanting those things, we’re allowed to want things, we’re allowed to say “hey this is what I’m doing, it’s okay that you don’t agree or like it, but I’m doing it anyway” it may be a scary thing to do, but it’s better to be brave and do it while shaking the nerves away, then to not do it and stress yourself out about it and how you should’ve done it….it’s okay to take that breath if needed, but if you find yourself feeling something like this lately then you may just want to consider some of these words

You don’t necessarily have to, but if you know there’s something in your heart that you would like to do and have been thinking about for a while, it really doesn’t hurt to give it a go and try, the only thing that will happen is that you’ll find yourself growing more and possibly enjoying yourself as you experience that new thing that is speaking to you!

That’s all I want to say, hope you all have a good rest of the day, stay safe and take care!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

It’s Feb 22, 2022 (2/22/22)

You might have noticed that today feels a little more significant compared to other days and even if it doesn’t feel different, I’m sure that you had a moment where you might have looked at the calendar today and thought “huh interesting” after realizing todays date! Now I’ve spoken about numbers and numerology before all while explaining how I’m not that the biggest fan of math, but regardless to my feelings with the number subject, numerology is just one of those things that is kind of hard to pin point and what I mean by that is there’s just something about it that always leaves me curious with it to where I feel the need to what to look up certain numbers when their lined up like today’s date is or just when seeing the number 11:11 or 555!

Now I won’t go too into it as I know I already shared my thoughts about it previously before, plus I wouldn’t even know what to say exactly, so who knows how long this post will be, I honestly don’t feel it’ll be too long, but then again I’m not sure if it’ll be true, there’s times where I think a post is just going to be, only but a few lines long and it’s more than what I expect so haha!

Now if you’ve been wondering just what the numbers 2/22/22 means well, I wouldn’t be able to tell you off the top of my head, without looking it up myself, speaking of I actually did look it up because as I stated earlier I was very curious and just wanted to know it’s meaning and in case some of you would like to know or have been curious yourself about it, to try and sum it up really…the number 2/22/22 it’s got a very detailed meaning within it and one of those meanings comes in the form of taking charge of your life and not feeling bad about how you choose to live it, it also talks about balance and instability, but also not allowing yourself to get caught up in the chaos of your surroundings and learning to keep positive even during difficult times!

I know with that last part it’s a lot easier said and then done, believe me I know, for me yesterday was a very rough day, these past few days have been a bit harder to handle, but yesterday I have to say definitely took the cake, but it’s not really about pretending that your emotions don’t exist or that you have no right to feel the way you might be feeling, what it really comes down to is letting yourself feel the things your feeling, but also being aware of how you react to situations!

Look I’ll admit that sometimes it’s harder to push through days when you already can feel it within yourself that it’s not your day or a day in general, I think in order to really embrace what number 2/22/22’s message is trying to share, we need to allow ourselves to feel our emotions, so that we’re not just pushing them down and keeping everything bottled up! I understand that not everyone likes expressing themselves because they either don’t want to be a burden, they don’t want to share what is actually bothering them or they don’t actually know how to express their thoughts well so they just keep it all to themselves….but when you hold your thoughts and feelings in especially for a prolonged period of time, you’re only hurting yourself,

Eventually all the things that you’ve hidden under the surface will start brewing and before you know it, you’ve gone from being an inactive volcano to an active volcano and everything that you’ve tried so hard to keep within starts looking like magma flowing about and you find yourself looking at it wondering how you allowed yourself to let it get that bad! I know I’ve gone all science here, but what I’m trying to get at is, we have to be okay with feeling our feelings, but also not think that because we feel them, we can’t talk about them if we feel we need to, although sometimes we may not want to share them right then and there, which is okay….

It’s alright to want space and time to think about things and really take them in, if you feel that to help you best! Most times it helps to take that moment so you’re able to keep all those thoughts and feelings at a happy medium so they’re not just coming out without much of a thought, it’s better to think and then react then to react first then think! It helps to really bring clarity and a different responds and way of explanation compared to just going off to what the first reaction might’ve been!

It also helps if we didn’t give ourselves a hard time about it as well, most times we forget though….but back to what today brings and what this once in a lifetime line up of aligned numbers is wanting us to take in and keep as a reminder, what is that reminder exactly!? Well today brings the message to keep going and to know that whatever struggles and difficult times that we may find ourselves in that no matter what we can overcome them! We have to keep in our minds the saying of “This Too Shall Pass” and that “all is well and will be well” even when it may seem like it won’t in the moments!

We have the ability to turn any situation into a positive one in someway or form, honestly I feel like with yesterday being the way it was…..it kind of felt like a test with the chaos happening, like it was a challenge to see basically saying “how do you chose to react!?” So it really comes down to knowing when to choose a battle, most of the time, the universe will play out certain scenes/scenarios for you so you can really be aware and understand which approach to take!

That also just goes with when choosing where you want to go, no matter what you do and how you choose to live your life, you will always have to know when to react to things and when not to react, as well as how to react….we always have a choice and it’s important that we pick our next action to those choices wisely so that way we know we’re doing our best to making sure that things go smoothly and that we’re really taking everything in properly!

We’re coming to the last hour of Feb 22, 2022 so whatever you feel it’s meaning to mean to you, keep it in mind and if life is feeling a bit upside down at the moment, know that it doesn’t always mean it’s a bad thing, so just keep pushing, keep doing your best and live your life how you feel you want to live it…..it’s okay to be afraid, change isn’t always an easy thing to embrace, but it is necessary in growth and when you allow yourself to grow, that’s when you start seeing things really kick off…..in a good way and sometimes you have to go through those tough periods in order to see what is really going on and is being brought to you (as hard as it is to see) so even when the nerves start up, keep going and do what you like and what you feel you want to do!

I would definitely say to look up this number you’d be surprise to what you may find, that’s all I have here, I hope that you had a good/decent/okay day and happy synchronistic Tuesday!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

I Don’t Know If You Know This, But Christmas Is Literally Next Week!!?

Happy Holidays!!

It was yesterday that I came to the realization that we’re only 1 week away from Christmas…..1 WEEK!! I don’t know why December feels like it both just started and has more days to it then normal!? At least this year, am I the only one that feels that way? Possibly…..maybe…..I guess part of me isn’t ready to start 2022 yet, although I also am because I’m hoping for this upcoming year that is 2022 to have some kind of big change that ends up good and more than I could ever hope for!

Not saying I can’t make something big happen myself although when it comes to trying to make big things happen it can be kind of intimidating because who knows if it’ll be really big or something that feels big, but is actually just small, you know what I mean!? Not that there’s anything wrong with having something feel big, but is actually small in comparison to what you may have had in mind…..what I’m trying to say is I just would like 2022 to be the year that everything falls in to place, however way it may land or choose to land!

To be able to make up our minds about certain things that we may have wanted to do for a very good while now, but somewhere deep down we’re still afraid to do anything about it, finally choosing a direction to go in and sticking with it because it something we truly believe in and truly see it to be the better thing for us in the end or because we know we’re really interested and happy doing those things we love!

Not wanting to regret a single thing that comes next and just allowing ourselves to just go for those things, not wanting to be afraid and feeling like we soon won’t have a choice because we already made the choice, even if it feels wrong at first, but really just turns out to be something we were actually looking for and wishing to happen or maybe even weren’t looking for…..

Don’t you just want to be able to get up in the morning and always know you have something to look forward to, wake up knowing you’re where you’re truly meant to be!? Where you have always wanted to be despite the fears and doubts that constantly float around in your head? Don’t you want to be happy? Maybe you’ve really been wishing to be near that special someone for quite sometime and at the moment you haven’t really been able to see that person, but you know you’re wanting so bad to have them close by without always having that thought of I wish they were…..

maybe there’s something you’ve had your heart set out to finally pick up a new hobby or creative spark, but have been feeling a little low on energy or not feeling it to be the best time, due to being overly busy or just because you really haven’t had time to get around to it! If there’s anything I would like to come from 2022 that I can honestly say would make it if not the best year, but where I would consider it the best year overall, is to uncover a new found creative spark where I can have endless amount of creativity where I’m left happy everyday and to finally reunite and have my guy by me always….

Those two thing…..would make 2022 an automatic favorite, everything else that follows and comes with the year will be bonuses, but if I had to really say what I would like to come from this upcoming year it would be unlimited amount of creativity and reuniting with my love….if I were to add some other things in there…..I would say…..more adventures, letting go any fears and uncertainties, new transformations…..I guess I would just be open to anything that I have yet to discover! 2021 has been rough…..there’s been some new things, but there’s also been a few postpones, which I know happens sometimes it’s for the best and maybe you find you need a bit more time to sort things out properly!

I think we’re all in need for 2022 to be that sense of fresh air that we haven’t had in a while, be that start of something new and different to what we already know, a new kind of adventure that we know is calling to us, but are having trouble answering and letting in because we don’t know what will come of it…..that’s how I’ve been feeling these days I guess….and it’s the first time in a very long while that I’m sharing my own personal thoughts where I don’t feel like I have to figure my words out….this is just what I feel, what I have been feeling, but didn’t come around to truly knowing how to express these thoughts until now!

I guess winter really is the best time to reflect on all that we’ve kept bottled in…..2021 had it’s best and not so great moments and the realization that it’s practically over is really….something, we only have Christmas and then we’re off to a new year, so if you have any last minute reflection to do…..definitely think about them, ask yourself what it is you want to happen for this upcoming year, leave the fear to the side, the worries and try to just look for the road and if you can’t find it…..let your heart and intuition guide you to what feels right and when you do…..keep following it even if you are scared, you will always get to where you need to, you just have to be willing to take that leap and trust that where you land is going to be safe and lead you to where you’re meant to be!

Safe travels wherever you go, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Happy Holidays, May It Treat You All Kind!

Ahhh the holidays…..some people love it, while others…..loath it! To be fair the holidays are always a bit of an up in the air kind of topic, it’s always getting mixed feelings whenever it rolls around! The way I see it however is, I try and make the most of the holidays, it’s not always been the greatest of times, but even then I know that you can always choose to focus on the best parts of it. I think one of the reasons most people don’t really enjoy the holidays is due to the fact that, the people they celebrated those times with are no longer around, so every time it does come to the jolliest of jolly days…..it’s hard to get into the spirit of it!

Which I understand, it’s never easy to go through life without always having that one person there to help you get through it or just help to be the best part of it….and when that person or number of people are no longer here…..it just always feels like something is missing and no matter how hard you may try to put it in the back in of your mind, you’re always going to find yourself feeling that heaviness of not having that person there.

I was thinking about this to myself not that long ago as I was washing the dishes, it’s been a bit of a morning coming from a very long eventful week, it’s not been super crazy the morning anyway, there was just something that happened yesterday evening that had the morning be a little down-ish, but I like to think that it’s a little bit better now, maybe not in a complete sense of it, but a good sense of it nonetheless!

Anyway, I was thinking to myself on how if it were possible to always have certain people with us in the sense of the people that are no longer here….we wouldn’t have to worry and they would just be with us always, but as we all are aware deep down, that’s not always possible…..and as much as I don’t want to say it, the reality of it is that it wouldn’t be life is we had the choice to have that happen.

Life is a very interesting thing, but one of the things to life is that although we have control of certain ways of life, we don’t have control of everything and that’s something that no matter how much we know it and how much we wish we did….there’s no denying that we don’t and that’s where it will always be hard, especially when it comes to those that are very special in our lives or when trying to do something even! Whether we all feel it or not, we all like a bit of control let’s face it, but it’s when there are things that are out of our control where we stress ourselves out more, knowing deep within us, there’s nothing we can do about it,

Yet we will still try and have it in our minds until we’re blue in the face because it’s just difficult to comprehend, we may accept it after fighting so long to not want to understand, but it doesn’t mean that it’s still easy…..

There’s many reasons to why the holidays are always such a rough time for most people. It could be that something big happened during that time and not in a good way, not talking on the fact of losing people here, but more in a sense of having something deep and personal happen! Maybe for some, you might’ve been battling inner demons for a specific amount of years until eventually getting through it and coming out on the other side safely or just not having the best holiday experiences, due to family not always being the best, not having anyone to celebrate it with and many other reasons.

So whenever it comes around it’s just always this….not wanting to use the word Trauma, but maybe for those out there it could be for that reason, where a big Traumatic event happened during the holidays or it just not always been positive whenever it did come to this time of year….like I said, the holiday times are rough and it’s always when it gets close to the end of the year because that’s when we do most of our reflecting, with all the things we felt, what we went through, trying to release everything in our hearts and mind in hopes that those things don’t follow us into the new year, which sometimes it does, because we don’t allow ourselves to let go of all those things that kept us up all night and feeling so stressed out!

We may feel like we let it all go, but we still carry certain events, thoughts, emotions with us and I’m not saying it’s bad, it’s good to keep things close to our hearts, it’s just the things that we choose to carry are the same things that we can’t control instead of just allowing some of those uncontrolled things to unfold the way they’re meant to all while accepting and letting go of the things that may be unfinished for a reason…..

As for the holidays, yeah it’s hectic and full of mixed emotions, but it’s not always bad, there’s always something to look forward to, we just have to be willing to see it and trust that it will always lead somewhere good, be it big or small….I think we all sometimes forget what the holidays are truly about, which is why the whole magic and feel of it gets a bit lost, but it doesn’t mean that it’s not still there, it’s always there, it can just take a while to really see it, due to the journey being a bit bumpy and going all over the place, but even then we should always try and appreciate it, because without all our journey experiences, we wouldn’t be who we are today!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

The Last Challenger Approaches, Completing A Life Long Journey of an Era (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

Happy Friday Everybody!! We’ve come to the end of the week and beginning of the weekend, who else has let out a breath of relief I know I have, I don’t know about you guys, but it seems like this month is going by both slow, yet also pretty quick….is that weird to say!? I mean we’re still in the beginning process of the month, however we are heading towards the middle of the month as well, we’re literally half way there practically lol!

This week has been…..something, now when I say that it just means you can’t quite put your finger on whatever it is your saying something to, there is that specific thing to it if that makes sense!? Overall it has been quite the week hasn’t it! I’m not going to lie I’ve been feeling a bit nervous this week, I don’t know if it’s because I know I’ll be getting my second vaccine Sunday or because of other things, probably a mixture of it all if I’m being honest, but as Isabelle would say in New Horizons “Give yourself a pat on the back you made it to the end of the week” something like that anyway!

Speaking of games, let’s talk a bit on what you’re probably here for shall we!? First up I just want to say that I already recorded my thoughts on these topics, I’m just adding anything that I managed to miss or just recently found out about so that’s what this post is…..so anything I said within my podcast episode I won’t be saying too much on here, I’ve scheduled the episode to be up a bit later today so once it’s officially up that is when I’ll share it!

Real quick I actually had something else in mind that I wanted to record for you guys, but Anchor is being a bit, troublesome today well my microphone is anyway, although it let me record this episode early this morning that I was actually going to share tomorrow and what I was going to record today was supposed to be up for today instead, but I guess this episode wanted to be up on a Friday instead of Saturday so change of plans…..the episode was going to be music based, I was going to challenge myself to speak about an artist that I listen to often, but is a bit out of comfort to share my thoughts on, but I shall leave it for another day and hopefully by then I’ll get to share this amazing artist with you guys!

Back to video games…..we all know by now I presume that Sora from Kingdom Hearts will be joining the Smash Ultimate roster and how excited everyone is about that really big news, we also know that he was the last challenger to be added to the game which means no more other challengers to unexpectedly show up and join the fight, it’s a bit bittersweet that we’ve come to the end of finishing up Smash, but we all knew that at some point it was going to happen!

Now I just recently found out that Sakurai the director of Super Smash will be taking a break now that the last character has been revealed within the game, I did a little research and I knew Super Smash Bros Ultimate came out a few years ago, but I just didn’t realize how long it actually has been…..2018 is when this game released and it took 3 years…..3 YEARS……to complete Super Smash Ultimate’s roster!! If that’s not both insane and mind blowing I don’t know what is!?

Sakurai has been at this game for so many years not including Ultimate, we’ve had so many Super Smash games come into our lives and to see the transformation of it to what it was and what it is now…..you wouldn’t even believe it, so YES Sakurai definitely deserves a long rested break, I mean he’s work tirelessly without much of a break just to finish this game! Now I understand everyone getting emotional and feeling the way they feel, because it’s been a very long journey in the Super Smash franchise and so it’s an important event in the Nintendo world….

So I shall say a bit of what I said in the episode, but a bit better….Thank you Sakurai for everything that you have given us with this game, thank you for putting your heart into something and sharing it with everyone, I hope that you have the most deserved break and whenever you decide you want to return I just hope that you feel the most refreshed that you’ve felt in a while and if this Smash game is to be the last again thank you for giving us something to be able to enjoy for generations and generations, I don’t know what you are thinking about for your next journey, but whatever it is, I hope that it brings you much joy and happiness, but for now just take care of yourself, see you when you return!

Update:

My latest podcast episode is now up is you want to check it out, take care and have a good weekend!

P.S.

In case this is appearing as Episode 42 instead of Episode 43, I don’t know what’s happening, when I shared it earlier it said Episode 43…..hopefully it updates itself and changes back to the original episode I posted….I’m going to give it a day and wait to share both this post and podcast episode on my Twitter, until this glitch clears out! Here’s the link to the actual episode if you guys want to check it out: Let’s Talk: The Final Ultimate Character Joining The Roster & The Upcoming Animal Crossing Direct Ep. 43

Let's Talk: The Final Ultimate Character Joining The Roster & The Upcoming Animal Crossing Direct Ep. 43 Daydreamer's Podcast

Happy Friday, Hope you're all well! In today's episode we will discuss the final character added to the Super Smash Ultimate roster as well as doing a little prediction (sorta) giving some thoughts on the upcoming Animal Crossing Direct that's due to arrive next week on October 15th and sharing my excitement on what's to come with the latest update! 

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Dear Little Me…..(Updated)

It’s been a while hasn’t it, if only you knew all things we have been through…..I mean seeing that you are apart of me, you probably already know huh!? I’ll be honest I wasn’t really expecting to write to you, it was only after that I read a bit of the first I guess you can call letter post that I wrote to you back in 2018 that I felt like I wanted to update you on a few things that we’ve managed to do…..I’m writing this a bit on the late side on the 15th of September nearly midnight, but not necessarily midnight it’s still around 11:30pm as I’m writing this now, I might just continue this post in the morning so I could really tell you everything that I want you to know….I’ll catch you up on what those things are soon, a part of me might keep the rest as a surprised though, see you in a couple of hours!

Good Morning me, well younger me…..it’s a little early, around 8:40am almost 9am, I don’t know if you remember us always getting up earlier than we needed to back then, there were moments when we got up a bit late as well! Sometimes we’d get up at almost 10am and if we got up at 11am we were upset the whole day…..I’m glad that I changed our sleep schedule all those times ago ha! I don’t know where to start with what’s been going on….We’ve been on quite the journey you and I, a lot of stresses, emotions both good and bad, we had some loses in our lives as well, that meant a lot to us….but on a good note, we did find someone that loves us for our weirdness as well as everything else believe it our not lol…..there’s a lot of things that’s happened since the last time I spoke to you!

We’ve been through some storms, but the one thing though that I feel you’ll really like is that…..we got through them and most of them we’re really hard, because they pushed us to really grow ourselves more and change as well, in the last letter I wrote you…..I felt like I was not doing you proud, that I had failed you as an older version of me and I never knew how to really express that in the best of ways, I only knew how to say sorry and feel bad about everything we were going through at the time…..I wanted you to be happy and I didn’t really give you that chance to be happy then….it took a long while, but I just want you to know that we’re doing good now, where we were then, we aren’t there anymore!

We managed to find our voice, now I won’t say we found it fully fully, there’s still some things that we both are still working out and trying to understand better, which is normal, because not everyone has figured everything out yet, but we have learned a lot and I can honestly say that we are becoming better versions of ourselves more and more each day! Don’t get me wrong we still have our moments where we aren’t always happy and feeling our best, but to how we used to handle those days to how we handle them now…..we’re doing pretty alright for ourselves, our emotions don’t constantly get at us the way they used to, we’ve learned to control them a lot better and not be so hard on ourselves….I mean we’re still hard on ourselves at times, but I think that’s never going to go away really, but that’s okay because it helps us to want to be better!

We’ve grown on a personal level, we’re still the same, but there our some new differences within ourselves that we’ve gained with our personality, for example….we’ve gotten a bit more sarcastic lately, we say what’s on our mind a lot more these days, a bit quickly too, might I add and we’ve gotten better at not taking up things that we know we don’t need in a negative sense….I guess you can say we’ve gotten a bit tougher and stronger since the last time, but I think part of those part of me comes from you if that makes sense, especially all the sassy parts that I wouldn’t have ever thought to come out!! All our fears that we used to worry ourselves about, we have moments where they pop up, but you’ll be happy to know that instead of always wanting to avoid them and run away, we try and face them the best we can…..we come way out of our comfort zone, well we’re nearing the surface at least, we don’t swim the best, but we do our best to get to where we want to be!

Like I said we’re still learning as we go along, but that’s only part of the journey we’re on…..it’s just the beginning and we’re just getting started, but we’re flying little me, just like you always wanted and I promise that I’m going to keep doing my best to make you proud to be me older, because I just want you to be happy and I want you to know that the adventures you go, as new and hard as they may be at times and you may feel like you’re not getting where you need to, but know that you’re always going to get where you need even when you get lost a bit, sometime you have to get a little lost before you’re found! We’re always going to be okay, I know that because I got you and I know that when I’m lost, you’ll found a way to point me to where you feel it’s best to go so I know to keep going, because together is where the magic starts to happen!

All the feelings of being scared, but wanting to still give it a shot anyway, taking those risks, I never thought we’d get to that point, but I got to say that, doing those things, makes me happy, I still get nervous and scared, but I hope that you feel happy that we’re finally doing them…..there’s still some stuff that I know I want to tell you, but I know know how to express them properly just yet, so I will leave them for another time, the moment I find those words and I’m able to piece them all together you’ll know…..I just wanted to tell you that we’re okay and that we’re a little bit more happier than we were before…..I’ll see you soon!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

The Journey Of Learning & Growing….

One of the best things to witness is watching someone grow and evolve, be it a child, someone that you saw go through a very tough point in their life or even just you yourself, there’s no age limit when it comes to learning and growing…..you could be in your 50s and you may already know a whole lot, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still learn something new let alone won’t learn something new, there’s so much to life that will always leave us surprised even when you think you’ve seen it all already!

I’ve witness a few transformations, a lot of them may not be fully, but I’ve seen a few and the ones I have seen, still amaze me and sometimes I find myself thinking about those transformations, I’ve watched my boyfriend come out of something that he struggled with for a while, not necessarily in person, but just the aftermath of what happened in his life in that time, it’s how we met, he was just starting to get back to himself again! I’ve seen my nephew who I consider my nephew, I first met him when he was 3, so I’ve only known him for a year now pretty much and I remember how he’d never wanted to listen to anyone, you know usual kid stuff, his favorite word was always NO and you couldn’t tell him anything, without him crying and throwing tantrums and wanting everything to be his way

and then you have his mom who worked all the time and when it came to trying to stop him from having those tantrums it was hard for her to put her foot down with him, obviously no parent wants to yell at their child, any good parent anyway, it’s hard because you try to be a parent, but you also don’t want to be a parent in a sense of when your child starts throwing those tantrums and they aren’t listening to you, you don’t want to have to punish them for it, because all you want is for them to see you in the best light possible and when you come to those moments to where you know there needs to be rules……it can be hard, but sometimes you know you have to do it!

But back to what I was talking about…..all three people here have gone through big transformations and you wouldn’t believe it if I told you, my boyfriend one of the biggest transformation I’ve ever seen and also haven’t seen, but if you knew him when I met him and you were to see and learn about everything he endured, you’d be extremely surprised, it still surprises me when I think about it sometimes, just to see and learn the difference in the person that he once was to who he is now, like I wouldn’t know where to begin on that story, hopefully I’ll be able to really tell it or have him tell it one day, I mean it is story about his journey anyway and it really is a beautiful and life changing one at that! I’m very proud of how far he’s gotten, I love you Jord, forever and always!

As for my Nephew…..he’s 4 now, but will be turning 5 in November and let me tell you something, he is one hell of a smart kid, seriously and he’s gotten a lot better at really trying to understand everything, he doesn’t give you too much of a issue now when you are telling him not to do something or you’re trying to help him learn certain things, he actually listens expressing something to him which I’m glad to see, it was a mission and a half when I first met him, he talks a whole lot more now, like a lot, he wouldn’t really say much before, he was just always shy and wouldn’t come up to you, he’d just be in his own little world, now forget about it!! He will talk to you for hours if he really wanted to, he’s quite the character, very silly, but he’s the sweetest boy every, he’s very kind, he likes making people laugh and just showing you things all the time, buut don’t let his adorableness fool, he knows what he’s doing!

He’s a little demon and I say it all the time to him, which he knows too because he always laughs about it! He knows how to get what he wants, however he knows who to go for when he wants something, spoiler it’s not me, he knows better than to pull anything with me, like I said he’s a smart one, I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned out to be an evil genius, I’m joking, he’s a good kid when he wants to be, but he’s also grown to know better and I just hope that continues the older he gets!

Lastly, we come to my Nephew’s mom who has also transformed a lot from when I met her, she’s kind of hard to explain with her transformation though, but I’ll do my best, when I first started coming around and hanging out with her, she was always working, but she worked from home, so she always tried her best to balance out work and her son and when I was hanging out with her as she was working, I would notice a lot that she was having to do, when it came to her son like I said earlier it was hard for her to put her foot down with him at first, because she didn’t like having to be that….not strict parent, cause she’s really not that strict, but he’d would get babied a lot before, he still does, but it’s not so much from his mom these days, but the grandparents…..you know how that goes!

It was hard for her to tell him when he was doing something wrong and when it came to punishment so that he learns that he can’t do certain things, with work she was always stressing, she dealt with a lot….I guess the only way I can say it is her transformation comes from how she’s grown as a parent from when I met her and what I know her to be now as well as how certain parts of her personality has changed and grown, she’d always wanted to please everyone even when she didn’t want to do whatever it was that she didn’t want to do, she’s showing more of her voice with people,

Which is good and she would always feel like nothing was going her way, but now everything is now working for her which is great, in terms of her son, she’s learn to put her foot down with him more and not let him try and control her and what I love about that is, I feel since then, both her and her son have gotten more closer and it’s a beautiful things to see, because you can tell she loves her son and only wants the best for him and that’s how parent should be and he loves her which is also wonderful! I’ve witness what she had to go through before and I’m so proud of her for how far she’s come even if she doesn’t know it, she’s an amazing mom and an amazing person, as well as a really good friend and I’m glad that I got to know her and continue to get to know her, fun fact, we’ve crossed paths before me and her a few time even, but we never actually encountered one another face to face just always by a pass by, it wasn’t until she started dating my brother to where we finally met, I guess you can call it a small word!

The three people I just spoke about all mean something to me and I’m glad to know them and have them apart of my life, I’m glad that I’ve been able to experience the transformations they’ve gone through, they all have taught me a lot of things as well as important lessons and are still teaching me a lot even if they don’t know it necessarily, but I wouldn’t trade them and all that they’ve taught me for the world and if ever down the line our journey’s together were to take different paths or transform in some kind of way to where I still have them in my life, I’m always going to take what they’ve given me and do my best to make sure I never forget it!

F.Y.I. I didn’t expect to write all of this, the way I did, I just felt very strongly to write this for some reason so I did, call it a moment of a thought in time!!

P.S.

By the way, I’ve switched up my podcast episode schedule just for this week, so instead of Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I’m doing Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday (I’m going to try for Saturday anyway) again just for this week, I just felt like switching things up a a bit! You can check out yesterday’s episode here:

Take Flight Like A Bird…. Ep. 37 Daydreamer's Podcast

Happy Tuesday everyone, hope your having a good day! In todays episode we talk a bit about birds and the way they fly, not just about that though, it gets a bit deeper than that, we're always afraid to explore the unknown and take those big leaps that we've been wanting to take, but isn't that what life's about!? Facing those unsure feelings and seeing where it takes you, just like that Moana song, one day I'll know how far I'll go!!

All The Love ❤ ❤ ❤

Lexa