Do What You Like, Be Free To Be Whatever!

This is probably one of the most cheesiest titles you’ve read or maybe not….if I’m being honest this title is a combination of two different lyrics from two different songs, both favorites of mine and by two artists that I admire! The first part of the title come from the song Living In Colour by non other than my all time favorite artist Alexz Johnson while the other part, kind of comes from the song No Regrets by an artist named Dappy at least it’s inspired by it anyway….I don’t know how many people know of either artist, but Alexz Johnson has always been one of my favorites since the moment I saw her show Instant Star, it was then I knew I found an artist I was going to listen to forever!

As for Dappy, I was introduced to his music by my partner whose a really big fan of his, the first song he ever had me listen to by Dappy was called Money Can’t Buy, it’s a love song of course, but it’s an amazing song and one of my other favorites!! Now Dappy isn’t just a singer he also raps too and comes from the UK, he also had this group called N-Dubs which had him, his cousin Tulisa and a friend of his I believe named Fazer who happens to rap as well! Now I’m not here to talk about these two artists, although they are great and their music is always a pleasure to listen to, I just wanted to explain the title name…..however I should point out that the actual lyrics to Dappy’s No Regrets is “I’m Free To Be Whatever I….”following a few bar flows after those lyrics!

What I really wanted to talk about is what I mean with the title I have there, well I will do my best to explain it at least! Now to me, both these lyrics have an encouragement feel to them, “Do what you like” by Alexz Johnson meaning “go for it” while the actual lyrics to Dappy’s song No Regrets ” I’m free to be whatever I…” that one goes more on the fact of having that freedom to do, well going back to the first song, pretty much whatever you like, being whoever it is you choose to be and allowing yourself to have the confidence to say “this is my life and I will decide how I want to live it” it’s letting you know to go after anything you believe in and are truly wanting without those regrets in the back of your mind, where you’re asking yourself “what if”

Keeping the what if’s in your head will always make you feel like, you have to just go with what’s there, but life isn’t about being okay with that, you have to be okay with change no matter how scary it is…..you don’t want to sit back and think to yourself “I didn’t, I should’ve, maybe” We always hear how short life is and the thing with it is, we think because we are still here doing the things we’re doing and getting to certain ages that it’s not really short, but it actually is….because you can walk past someone and that day their fine, but when you go to see them again….something is different and then next thing you know….you’re no longer seeing them!!

It’s a frightening scary thing and it’s something I don’t like to think about, but when you really look at it, it really does say a lot….we’re always worrying about everything, but that’s because we’re feeling things that we don’t even understand sometimes…..but it comes with the experience of life, but life is also meant to be experienced, you’re meant to be inspired, to be entertained and say “woah I’ve never seen that before or let alone known that it could exist” You’re meant to explore and feel different things, in different ways then imagined!!

There’s a lot of fear that is hard to shake within us, I have a few fears myself and one of them used to be change, I didn’t like things changing, I liked being safe and comfortable, I always thought that I wanted everything to stay the same, until eventually I witness change happening around me, forcing me to become uncomfortable and really see things differently and before I knew it…..I started to change and I saw how me changing and wanting different started to effect people around me!

I was always a certain way and when I stopped being that certain way and being vocal about it….it wasn’t well received, but I knew that it needed to happen because had it not happened, I would’ve still been in that situation…..the older I get the more I’m realizing how important it is to really go after what it is you want and not be afraid or feel bad for wanting those things, we’re allowed to want things, we’re allowed to say “hey this is what I’m doing, it’s okay that you don’t agree or like it, but I’m doing it anyway” it may be a scary thing to do, but it’s better to be brave and do it while shaking the nerves away, then to not do it and stress yourself out about it and how you should’ve done it….it’s okay to take that breath if needed, but if you find yourself feeling something like this lately then you may just want to consider some of these words

You don’t necessarily have to, but if you know there’s something in your heart that you would like to do and have been thinking about for a while, it really doesn’t hurt to give it a go and try, the only thing that will happen is that you’ll find yourself growing more and possibly enjoying yourself as you experience that new thing that is speaking to you!

That’s all I want to say, hope you all have a good rest of the day, stay safe and take care!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas…However It Sure Doesn’t Feel Like It!

So it seems we’re getting closer to Christmas time along with the new year, we got 4 more days before everyone’s saying Merry Christmas and one more week left before we’re saying farewell to 2021 and how’s it going 2022! I can’t even begin to tell you where this year has gone especially when it comes to the month of December….this month approached us so quickly and just as we were getting comfortable with it, thinking it was going to stay a while like the rest of the other months, it surprised us all with how close it is to finishing, LITERALLY December is over next week and I don’t know how to feel about that exactly!?

You know I was thinking out loud to myself earlier this morning, I had a few thoughts and the best way for me to get my thoughts out is speaking out loud to myself, it helps me to not keep certain emotions in…..I probably could’ve written it down as well, but it wasn’t in my mind to that in the moment so I was just letting it out to the air! I know that probably sounds weird, but I feel it to really help, sometimes I don’t always want to talk about things to people so I say it to myself that way it’s out of my head.

I won’t talk about everything I thought about, but I will talk about a specific thing…which actually came out of nowhere to be fair…..I had a thought where I thought about dealing with things, now this may come out as deep, although it’s not what I’m intending for it to be, but if it does then it does…..anyway when it comes to dealing with things and this could be in a general state…..as humans….we don’t necessarily have to deal with anything really, yes there are things that we have to accept in our lives, but the real question or statement to it shall I say isn’t about dealing with things, but more adapting to it, where it’s a choice!

What I mean by that is, when we’re surrounded with different scenarios, situations, people even, we have the choice of whether we want to allow those things into our lives, as well as choosing whether we want to adapt to those things…..life is always going as we know, we also know that there’s always something new to experience with it and a lot of the time we aren’t aware to what those things are and so we tend to be left with surprises from it!

That being said….just because there’s a lot going on with life it doesn’t mean that we have to always adapt to everything, although we should try our best to accept things as they are, even when it’s something we may not want to accept in the moment, it’s important to know that there’s a difference to accepting something and having the choice to adapt to that same thing…..it’s like flowers…..I know weird example I’m about to give, but it’s the first thing that came to mind so it’s what I’m going to use, flowers are very interesting!

If you’re lucky you may just see one sprout through concrete…..but with most flowers they all have a season, most of them tend to grow during the Springtime, but there are others that grow in the Summer and Fall and there are very rare and unique ones that might just grow during the Winter time, now you might be asking yourself where am I going with this…..to bring it back the best way I know how…..with most flowers they know their season and although there are flowers that will adapt and grow in the other seasons, most of them are Spring time flowers and won’t grow in any other season, but it’s because it’s how their made, they accept it!

What I’m trying to say here is, we’re not always meant to adapt to certain things, we can choose to adapt and put ourselves into something and be around people that are a little different to us, but that we know can help us in some way, however we don’t have to feel like we have to force ourselves to adapt to things that we know within ourselves isn’t who we are! When we find ourselves in those situations, it’s important to hear what our inner voices are saying, so if you’re in a place and you start to feel like you’re not meant to be there….really listen to that feeling!

If you find yourself surrounded by people and you’re feeling more out of place then you are enjoying yourself then really look at that, sometimes you can have moments where it’s more out of shyness then you feeling you’re just there and that’s it, it really depends on the situation there, but if you genuinely feel like you’re always invading people personal space even when they tell you you’re not or you just feel like it’s not your kind of scene then that’s when you want to look into it deeper!

Now I’m not saying don’t go out of your comfort because it’s important to do that every now and again, because it allows you to gain new experiences and see things in a whole new way to what you were use to, as well as getting to meet new people, some of them will have shared interests and will be similar to you and some will be the complete opposite to you, but sometimes that’s the best thing because you don’t want everyone to be like you it’s good to have that one person that’s more realistic and will tell you “hey you might want to re look at this” or tell you if you’re going a little off track, but not in a way of saying their way is right and your way is wrong, but just by letting you know they care and always want to make sure you’re good!

Those are the people you want in your life, you want someone to be your Ying to their Yang, you can’t have one without the other….but to get back on track…..It’s important to know yourself and what feels right to you and what doesn’t…..in terms of people, as much as we may want all that come into our lives to stay…..not all of them are going to….so as we wrap up the year within the next few days…..whoever chooses to adapt and stay in our lives will and those who feel it’s time for them to move on in whatever way or form…..

Well you should always choose to thank them for being with you for the time that they were and accept the situation however it may come, when it comes to all the other things look at what they are and decide if whether you want to adapt to them or not and whatever you choose, always try your best to accept even if it feels hard at first, always accept it!

Take care, stay safe and happy holidays!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Plans & Decisions…

I’ve never been one for planning you know, which you probably do because I’ve mentioned it a few times on here, me and plans….don’t mix, however I’ve come to a point in my life where, I’m finding myself trying to plan for things which is usually not my department, but if the time has come for me to really sit and plan things properly then I’m going to do it! I’m going to put myself in an uncomfortable situation and face it the best way I can, scared and full of nerves combined!

Today has been a bit of a rough day for me, I’ll admit, I woke up with soooo many thoughts in my head and trying to sort them is completely new to me, I don’t normally sort my thoughts out well and so trying to do that today has got my head just full of aches lol…..but it’s okay because I know that there’s something that is very important I want to do and if I end up losing a little bit of sleep from it or feel myself getting slightly anxious on, I’m alright with that! Plans aren’t my normal cup of tea, but I’ve been trying to embrace it a little better instead of getting intimidated by them,

Plans are important they can help layout things so you don’t feel all over the place! Normally I like going with things naturally, but I’ve also been learning that sometimes you need to plan for things in order to work them out, if you just let things always go as they are, whatever is most important to you can get away from you and if that’s something you don’t want then you have to really work at them and take those steps to having them come to fruition and making them happen…..I’m always being told that life is short and you want to make sure you’re always giving attention to the things that matter most even if it seems hard, it can seem like you won’t get there, but if you want it enough and you believe in it enough….you already know that it can get there, you just have to take those steps to get them there!

Now with the things that I’m planning, there’s a few decisions that I’ve come to realize I need to face and deal with, even though some of the stuff may not be my favorite to want to deal with…..it’s up to me to take that breath, put on a brave face and do it anyway…..with planning you also have to make decisions tough or not, because that’s the only way for you to grow better and to experience things without all the limits of it all it all, you have to allow yourself to fly even if you are bat scared shit of it and yes I’m saying it just like that because it’s how I’m feeling it at the moment….if we continue to always keep ourselves on the ground, as safe as it may be sometimes you have to also fly or float otherwise you’ll always be there wishing you could soar that blue sky!

I recently went on a trip as you may know if you read that post and I was really nervous when I was waiting to go on the plane, but once I got on the plane…..I don’t know I was very happy, I smiled to myself knowing I did something that scared me and even when I was on the vacation I was on…..I was ready to go back on the plane……it just felt good and I really enjoyed myself knowing that I was ahead somewhere that I hadn’t been yet and that’s what I want to continue, I want to keep discovering, exploring and going on adventures…..but also I want to share that experience and so if I need to plan in order to do that, like I said…..I will!

The upcoming plan idea is to finally be able to see my love again and figure out how we can be together permanently, we both have wanted that for a good now sooo, I’m just hoping that it all goes well for us this time, which we’ll make sure it does!

Planning By A Non Planner (Personal Thoughts) Ep. 32 Daydreamer's Podcast

Hiya everyone, hope you've been having a good week so far! In today's episode, I talk about some of my own personal thoughts that I've been feeling today and about planning….something I see as intimidating normally, but I've been trying to embrace it a little better this time around and really do my best with it all! 

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Bursting Energy…..

Happy Friday! Hope you’re all doing well this fine afternoon…..I got a bit of too much energy right now as I’m writing this and I’m not quite sure how to handle it, I feel good today, I feel a lot better than these past 2 days, the only thing is, I just don’t know what to do with myself with this amount of energy, I don’t want to use it all in one go, I would like to pace it better, but I’m finding myself slowly draining it by each super thought that fills me with excitement or just by thinking too much about things….not in a bad way, but just by like I said getting myself excited with ideas and looking forward to things, for example I’ve got 2 podcast episodes that I’m eager to do that will be coming in the next week or 2, they’re both childhood related and I’m excited to put my thoughts on them after so long, you’ll know about them in due time don’t worry!

Now as for the other thing that always tends to leave me excited when thinking about it, is something that I find myself going back to, that I want to try, that I have yet to try my hand at, I always think about it, but I’ve not yet decided on fully giving it a go even when I do feel it! Recently I’ve been researching on it more and every time I do, I get both happy and nervous about it, but I don’t know I just feel it to be something that keeps kind of calling to me to check it out, I just get nervous!

Although, I always on occasion and if not that, then here and there looking more and more into it and I feel like it’s a good time to see about it and see if I can find myself getting used to a lot, again I just get nervous thinking about it because I don’t know if I’ll be good at it, but then I think well I won’t know unless I give it a try and it’s not something that I need to be serious about in a sense of I can just be me and do it how I feel it to naturally come out, it’s just a nervous feeling one reason being because it’ll require me to show my face again and not just my voice which is something that I haven’t quite done in the past few months and it’s one of the reasons I haven’t decided on it just yet.

I know I’m still becoming more comfortable with my voice and so combining the two is a bit nerve-racking for me, I just get very uncomfortable in front of a camera, even though I’ve done it plenty before, but regardless to if it’s been so long or not it still takes me time to adjust when in front of a camera, part of me doesn’t mind it, but there’s also a part of me that would rather not, yet I also find myself thinking about doing it again…..I’m a weird one okay, I’ve accepted it!

I’m also very expressive though, when I’m passionate about something I either talk with my hands or I move my whole body and this even happens when I’m writing, I can’t help it lol! I’m considering it very thoroughly though it’s always in the back of my mind, I feel like if it was something that I felt strongly to do where it kept coming to me…..I’d pick a random day that felt good to do it and then tell you about it after I’ve done it and that’s how you know I went for it by being very curious and then saying you know what “let’s try it” Prepare yourself because that just might happen!

P.S.

I uploaded another episode to my Podcast yesterday so I’m just updating this post to share it, it’s a bit of a weird episode somewhat, but I feel there may be charm with it, possibly lol, if you would like to check it out you can find it here: Let’s Talk: Months & Animal Crossing (Friday Mood) You can also listen to it on Spotify as well!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Truthfully Speaking….

Hiya….I don’t know how I should start this…..there’s a lot I want to say to you, but I find it hard to say it, I know we have days that we talk and days that we don’t, I’ve accepted that’s how it is at the moment with us right now….I know we both got our own journey that we’re on, in yours you’ve got it and are very confident, in mine, everything is kind of new still to me, but I’ve been doing my best to go more out of my comfort which is something we got to talk about by the way! I think of you always, you probably know that though by now, I can sense you probably think of me too, I hope at least lol…..I miss you always nothing new, there’s times that I want to call you, just to hear your voice and to also talk to you for a bit, but I don’t because I know how busy you are…..and if I’m being honest I sometimes think you won’t answer if I do anyway!

If I was able to write a song to you on what I’ve been feeling I would, I know that’s random, but it was the next thing that came to my head so I said it, but I’m also not saying I haven’t written lyrics for you…..I’m just saying…..also me writing that helped to get nerves out, don’t ask me why I’m nervous I just am…..I guess in a way this is the first time where I’m trying to be completely open with you to my feelings that I always have trouble expressing to you…..you’ll ask me if I’m okay and I’ll always say yeah, but there will be things that I won’t say as well and I know you’re the same way….. I know that’s why you don’t really say much these days, I always feel you want to, but I also know that you feel you work it out best alone and I never want to push you to saying things you aren’t ready to say…..I’ll always give you the time that you feel you need, even when all I want to do is talk to you, I’ll always have patience for you.

I love hearing from you, you have no idea how much that brightens my day! That aside…..How you been!? I hope you’re doing okay and I hope your family’s doing alright too as well your nan, I hope she’s been okay!? I hope everything’s been going well with what you’re doing and that you’re enjoying yourself with it all! I’ve been watching some of your videos and I always see how happy you are doing it which makes me smile, I love it when you smile and are happy though…..I know this week was hard, did you feel it!? If so I felt it too…..did you know there was a Lunar Eclipse yesterday, I know you don’t like hearing these facts, but you know I always like telling you them anyway,

It’s just me! I don’t know what else to say…..I feel I might’ve said everything I needed, but I also feel I still got more I want to say, maybe I’ll say it when we have a proper talk if you want to do that! I think that’s everything for now, before I finish up this post message for you, I just want you to always know and remember how much I love you, no matter what goes on and how much we talk and how much we don’t…..just know I love you and that I always will that’s never going to change…..hopefully you read this, because it’s kind of why I wrote it lol…..I’d used the sticking out of the tongue icon here, but I’m on my computer writing this…..hold on wait 😛 never mind that works, hopefully you laughed, yes I know I’m weird you don’t have to tell me….okay I’m done….for now!

P.S.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Dappy lately…..especially I.O.U that keeps coming on for some reason and it’s not me choosing to play it, it just comes on by itself, although I have been purposely listening to Beautiful Me and No Regrets mainly Beautiful Me though, I forgot how good both those songs were….Oh and Grease has been coming on a lot as well, can you guess what song!?

All The Love Always ❤ ❤ ❤

Lexa

Hiii…..Happy Late New Yeeear Along With All The Other Holiday’s Prior!!

Alright let’s get this all out of the way without being awkward about it!! I’ve been gone for quiiite a while now as most or some may have noticed, my last post was back in October of last year, but as we all know we’re now in the year of 2021, it’s a bit crazy when you think about it I know!! Now we are in mid January close to moving to a New month, but we’ve still got a couple more days to this month before we transition over to that month so don’t go worrying too much about it!!

You might be wondering why i’ve been away for quite some time and the truth to that is……there was nothing for me to bring here…..I didn’t have much to say…..i’ve been also trying to figure out a lot of things in terms of not just new ideas, but I wanted to bring for myself, now whether that makes sense or not is to tell…..I didn’t feel happy with a lot of things, as much as I tried to share here, nothing ever felt important to share and because of that…..I just felt like I needed to step back from the things that I was doing within that time.

There was a lot of sorting that was needed from me and I felt and knew that, i’d like to say that i’ve sorted it all and i’m all good to go, but the truth is that’s not the case lol, there are still things that i’m working on, but from where I was and where i’m at now i’ve gotten a bit better that i’ve had the most trouble with, that aside I do still feel like I have a bit more to go before i’d say i’m at least 80-95% good!! 100% is a little too high right now for me to rate, but i’m in no rush to get to that percentage if i’m being honest I know i’ll get there eventually!!

In terms to how i’m feeling, obviously you have your days, that’s just part of being human, but for the most part i’d say i’ve been pretty alright, I feel good, but not GOOD with capital letters, it’s a little hard to explain,

I guess it’s kinda like a temperature thermostat, but instead of it telling you where you’re at on a hot/cold scale, it tells you where you’re at on a feeling scale and mine is at pretty alright/good, pretty alright is the middle and good (lower case letters) is just above it!! That’s where i’m at right now overall, which is good for me for now, I still worry about a lot of things that’s never going to change, but i’ve been slowly trying to embrace things more which is still new to me, but i’ve gotten better at it that I can say!!

I like to say that i’m still a work in progress, but slowly, yet surely I feel myself getting there little by little and i’m happy with myself about that, I still feel scared a lot of time with not really knowing where i’m going next, but that’s a fear within me that i’m doing my best to get over, I have been thinking of ideas where I have in mind of heading next, it’s something I have yet to try, but it’s something that has caught my interest and once I sort that all out i’ll speak of it more later down the line of course….

I do have another idea in mind that i’m probably going to try to mix in with my other idea, however this idea is one i’ve already had in my head for a while now…..again still have to sort it out first, obviously i’ll be doing it one by one because that’s the only way i’ll be able to fully give attention to it, but that’s just the half of it kinda….i’ve already written down slight notes to what I have in mind so i’d have an idea of how to do it, but because it’s something new and something that i’ve yet to try, I get nervous about it not knowing how it’s going to be, but if i’ve learned anything lately it’s to just let things happen when they happen and try not to think about it too much….which is something i’m still getting used as you can tell ha……

I’m sure once I get there, everything will just come through right then there, I just have to not think too much on it and let myself explore and figure it out on the way as scary as it may be and all, I just have to keep my focus on one thing at a time and know that everything else will follow along in the time that it’s supposed to. Excited, yet terrified in a good way of course!! I hope you all have been well and that this year has been treating you well, if you too are still on the journey of discovery of ones self,

know that no matter how worried you may be or how scared you may be…….it’s okay to feel that way….just take it one by one and whatever moment you’re in right now, embrace it and let it lead you somewhere you’d never think of going, in someway it’s bound to surprise you with where it takes you and wherever that may be….I wish you all the best on your adventures ^_^ Happy New Year and here’s to unexpected journey’s!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Reading Between The Lines….(July 27, 2019)

Sometimes the things we say, are misinterpreted or aren’t as direct as we’d like them to be, even when the things we may be saying are literally said to be direct and taken in properly, does that make sense!? I hope so……

In case you’re still confused to what I mean with that well, no worries, i’ll try and explain it in the best way that I can……as the title says reading between the lines…..what does that mean you might wonder or maybe you know exactly what it means……

The way I see it, is when you’re being told something or you say something to someone else or maybe you’re reading something (I know that’s a lot of somethings in one sentence…..sorry….) that has a specific, message, advice or maybe even someth……I mean, maybe there’s a thing that you wouldn’t see as important, but is important for you to know, even though it’s being presented in a subtle kind of way (I think I nailed that okay…..hopefully)

It doesn’t matter how much you may try and get someone to see what you mean or are trying to get them to understand, sometimes, it still gets overlooked and you could even say it directly to how you mean it, yet you’ll probably end up facepalming yourself because the understanding of it, is still unclear to them or you maybe even sometimes, which is frustrating!!

Just when you think you maybe getting through and everything is sorted and properly understood the way you wanted it to be…..it always ends up being just a little bit off the center in some sort……sometimes you may think screaming it out will help the understanding of it better, but that’s not always the case, when that happens you sometimes think, somethings missing and that maybe you didn’t say it clear enough even when you did…..

Am I making sense here, feel free to let me know if i’ve lost you…..

I don’t know how else to explain it or how else to get it to be clearer, i’ve tried all these different ways of expressing it, but I just don’t know if it’s actually being understood, it’s said to be, but it’s really not when, what is being said in regards of the problem within a situation keeps getting overlooked and avoided as not being important enough………

I mean I know there’s other things to it as well and i’m working on it to fix it this time around, because I know it’s becoming a big issue and I really don’t want it to continue being that way because it’s not really fair for it to be that way…….in order for things to move forward, you have to allow yourself to move forward in the way that you’re wanting to, which can be hard, but at the same time beneficial and good too……

Overall, here’s to hoping that the reading between the lines here sits in this time, otherwise we’re going to be reading the same chapter over and over and to tell you the truth, it got old a long while ago, a new and different chapter to read and enjoy would really be nice, hope you got all that……

So what’s some of your takes on reading between the lines, is it similar to my definition or is yours a bit different, feel free to share if you like!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~