These are the words that i’ve been saying to myself today so i’m going to use it as a title to this post, reason you ask!? Well i’m feeling slightly on edge today, i’m pretty much everywhere let’s just say and i’m rhyming wow can you believe that!? I’m having to keep myself extra focus even though i’m not having really much to focus on and that’s why i’m having a little trouble keeping my thoughts centered……..
I’ve been thinking again about careers not too intensively, but just slightly deep thinking about what i’d really like to do you know!? I’m going to try and keep this from sounding like another frustration kind of post, because I want to be able to think about this and work it out calmly without bringing my stress levels up and feeling anxious.
Which I already started to feel, the anxious feeling, stress not that much, but I know it’s standing in the background somewhere, as for my nerves well they’re mixing all around my stomach at the moment so i’m feeling very breathy today, you know trying to keep myself from going over the meter, not sure if breathy is a word, if not well it is for this post (it actually is a word I looked it up) i’m calm though don’t worry, i’m just in thought is all……I know they say to not think about it too hard, I try not to, but it’s just hard not to want to at least have something in mind, know where you’re possibly going…..I guess it’s just been one of those days, i’m alright now.
I hate the whole feeling on edge kind of days, it leaves you feeling like you need to be doing a million and one things and has your head just running all over the place, it’s just hard not to feel on edge when you’re still wandering and wondering where you’re going to be headed and whether your heading in the right direction at all…..
I know it’s no good worrying so much about it, the best we can do is just to keep moving even when we’re feeling edgy and unsure, but even if we are feeling that kind of way, we have to know and believe that things are going to be alright and that we will get where we’re suppose to go.
All The Love ❤ ❤
Yes, we’re back on the topic of careers again…..the good news to this is haven’t stressed myself out thinking too much on about this in a while, I have still thought about it however and when I do, I still get frustrated trying to figure it out, but i’ve been calmer about it as much as possible lately, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that i’m still wanting to figure it out.
Some say you have to stay focus and really look for it, while others may say not to worry so much and let it come to you, which advice do you follow I don’t know, all I know is when i’m focusing so much on it, I get super stressed and frustrated and when I focus less on it, I still get frustrated and stress about it because then I feel like i’m just not doing anything, it’s like there can never be a balance, unless you’re counting always getting frustrated and stressed, then yeah there’s a nice balance there.
Seriously though, it really does mess with you when you know you want to get somewhere and are really wanting to do something with yourself, but without a clear direction it’s hard to know where exactly you’re supposed to be heading, sometimes you feel you’re just wandering about aimlessly because you’re still unsure of what you would like to do…….the amount of times i’ve talked about not being the planning type is probably a lot.
Don’t worry i’m not going on that walk, it’s just a small amount of frustration and wonder, I really don’t know where i’m going and in what direction i’m heading towards and so it’s a little stressful because I do want to know, i’d like to see where i’m going a bit, normally I would just enjoy the scenery and not worry about it so much, but this time around, although the patience is still there, so is the impatience of it and it’s kinda in the lead over the patience right now and it just drives me a little mad, because I don’t know where i’m heading and I don’t know where to go…….
Right now i’m just doing this, whatever this is, at least I have you guys and this blog to keep me at bay until I run into something, some people are able to just go and never stop, because they already have an idea or are already doing what they set out to do and then you have people like me who can’t help, but continuously wander, because they either just don’t know or they’re actually enjoying themselves, I can’t speak for all wanderers,
but for this wanderer she’s just really hoping that she gets somewhere so she can stop worrying so much about it, will she!? Probably not, but she’s not going to stop wandering now, we’ve wandered this far and it got us here to where we’re now blogging about it, which is good so we can’t be that far to figuring out just where we’re actually heading, in the meantime, I guess we gotta keep looking towards the scenery, *big sigh* alrighty then.
I gotta say, i’m feeling a little anxious now, but that’s probably just my nerves and me worrying a little, I know i’ll get to where i’m suppose to soon enough and that things will be alright, it’s just the whole “when” but worrying too much on that will cause stress and i’ve been trying to keep from doing that lately, when your busy and on roll, it doesn’t bother you, it’s only when you’ve sat down and are thinking too much to where it’ll start to become a nuisance is all, but patience and not giving up can help.
P.s. I wrote this post I believe yesterday, but I didn’t get a chance to post it until now, these are just some thought of mine is all…..
All The Love ❤ ❤
Part 2 of Careers is right ahead, as promised from the first part to this when I said I don’t think i’m finished talking about this topic, I wasn’t kidding I still have a lot to say, this might be long as well, i’m just gonna say it now, because I know the way I write……I really do try not to write so much, it’s not easy though…..it’s a good thing I wrote everything in advance here.
Sometimes I want to blame my high school teacher for convincing me to get a computer, well more like suggesting i’d get one, it took me a while to actually give in to getting one, luckily we had someone in our school to lend us computers for the time being until we graduated, if it wasn’t for Mrs. Schaefer (My HS English Teacher) I would still be writing down notes in my notebook and being the only one to do so in my class as well.
(I won’t ever forget the conversation when she suggested for me to get one, I always find myself thinking back to that moment in time, well it’s more on random days then always.)
Now I know what you’re thinking,”what does this have to do with careers?” it doesn’t, it has nothing at all to do with careers, it was just a thought, that I wanted to write down, because it was one of the first things that came to mind when I wrote this out, but let’s discuss what’s meant to be discussed.
I’ll be honest with you, for as long as I can remember I never really thought about what I wanted as a career before, hence why i’m stressing about it now……I mean when I was younger I had this grand idea on what I had in mind and that idea involved singing!! I wanted to be a singer, i’ve mentioned this before i’m sure, I mean what kid didn’t right!? I wanted to sing because I liked singing and music a lot, still enjoy singing to myself and I still listen to music, not as much as I used to, but on occasions and whenever i’m walking somewhere or when i’m in the mood for it.
That all being said, the older I got, the more I started to see just how serious I was about it…..I wasn’t, the thought of singing was cool, I mean let’s face it we all had moments when we sang in front of a mirror or in some part of our house with either a hairbrush, remote control or the broom even, whatever we could find really and just went for it, those were the best days of all our childhoods i’d say!! The few times that I attempted to get going, I think I just found it to be too much now that i’m thinking about it.
I’ve been on stage a few times growing up mostly with other people and a few times alone and in those times being by myself on stage or just in front of people in general I would always feel super uncomfortable, I would just rather kinda be away from the stage and having people stare at you. I didn’t even like doing presentations, even though you would just be talking to a classroom, I couldn’t even speak in front of a group of people without losing my words and being all nervous, flashcards couldn’t even help me and they were numbered flashcards and I still would freak out.
But with singing and music I think the main thing with it was I couldn’t commit to it fully, I wasn’t really serious about it, it was always just fun to me, when I started realizing just how much had to be put into it, yeah I slowly backed away from it until you could no longer see me there.
Sometimes I think about it and wonder with it, but I don’t think I would be able to take it seriously, in terms of having it be a career for me, although I still love to sing, I don’t feel it would be my thing to do for a living, there’s a lot with it I probably wouldn’t be able to handle and the realistic ness of it just wouldn’t be a sure thing if you want something that’s going to get you going if you get what I mean, I mean it can be a sure thing if that’s what you truly want and your serious about it, but with me I don’t think it’d work.
The thing i’d say that came with the joy to sing all my favorite songs was being able to write, now I can’t really recall how I got into writing, I kinda just started doing it a lot, I didn’t really know what I was writing, I mean I knew what I was writing, but I didn’t if that makes sense!? I just liked writing pretty much, lyrics mainly, but nonetheless I was writing a whole lot. Other than wanting to be a singer as a youngster, I didn’t really have any alternative careers I wanted to do.
You always hear people say how it’s important to have a backup career in case your original idea falls through and to give you a bit of insight to how I felt hearing that, well I didn’t like hearing that, i’m pretty sure no one did, but when you think about it, we all knew it made sense deep down, I mean who wants to be left disappointed right!?
Careers are seriously hard to decide on, it’s all about what you would like to be doing for the rest of your life!! You can think of a million and above things to do for a living, but here’s where the heart of the true question lies, will all of those possible career ideas make you happy? Can you see yourself feeling truly good about it for years time? Will it be something you get out of bed for and look forward to everyday!?
All the dilemmas when deciding on a career eh? Some people decide on becoming a teacher for a good amount of time, but then later realize that it may not be the thing for them once they realize just how much patience it takes to handle it or maybe they have asked themselves if they want to be in a classroom for years to come and realize they don’t and so they’ll try and think of something else, but that’s just an example.
There’s a lot of different decisions and questions that’ll go through your head when trying to choose the best career. Becoming a teacher is a more realistic career choice to chose from considering how big of a profession it is, I feel you get more out of it then you would with most career options, plus it’s a bit more rewarding to have as a career, I mean your not only in a teaching role, but your helping people of all ages from kids, to teenagers ect…learn and develop while becoming a lot more knowledgeable as well as other things and doing something like that can make you feel really good.
You know you’re bringing something extraordinary to a lot of people and changing their lives in a way that is inexplainable. Now i’m not saying that any other career wouldn’t also be rewarding and that, it just depends on the kind that you choose, but when your trying to decide on a career, whatever that career may be, it all comes down to how bad you want it as well as where you see your personality fitting better with.
You don’t want to just jump into a random profession, you want to make sure you have some kind of interest and connection to it, that way when you are pursuing a career of your choosing, you know you’re going to enjoy it and keep on enjoying it, sure you might like something and find your good with it, but even if you find your are good with it, it doesn’t necessarily mean your going to love it for the rest of your life,
You might if you give it a try and see, but when going for a career you want to make sure it’s something that’s going to not only bring you some kind of happiness with it, but also bring you a good amount of secureness as well, you want something that’ll go hand in hand and work for you. No one wants to get up and do something they know they’re going to dread each morning they wake up, you want to always look forward to what you’re doing not, hate it as your doing it and I get it not being easy to figure out.
With careers there’s just so many to choose from that it’s hard to choose, sometimes you have to go based on what your strengths are and what your weakness is, so you can get some kind of idea of what could work when deciding on what you are going to be doing for a living. Sometimes I think it would be easier to randomly land on a career choice as if it was a mini game and have it be sorted that way, but that’s probably not the best idea, because you might end up with something you really do hate if you aren’t careful, but it would make things interesting for one which is sorta good.
There you have it part 2 of Careers, a lot of what’s written here most of it was already pre written, but there were some stuff that I changed as I went along…..now i’m not 100 percent sure, but there’s a chance there could be a third parter here, it’s not a definite yes, but there is a sorta big maybe to it.
This might just stay as a two parter, but this is a just in case you do see a part 3, you won’t be too alarmed by it, but with all that, I hope you all are having a good day and that you’re all doing well.
All The Love ❤ ❤
You wouldn’t think they’d be hard to decide on, but when you’ve come to a point in your life where you still haven’t decided on where you would like to go on the career topic, you’ll find you start to become much more stressed out about it. I’ve been back and forth trying to decide where I might want to head and i’m still thinking about it, I can never seem to make up my mind when it comes deciding anything really……
You may think you have something in mind, but you realize just how tough it really is trying to figure out just what you might want to get into as a career, it seems simple, but the more you really look into it, your calmness meter starts to decrease and your stress meter starts to increase, followed by your frustration meter and you get the drift of it i’m sure.
It really shouldn’t be all that hard to decide, you pick something you enjoy and go for that right!? Wrong, just so wrong……we enjoy a lot of things and that can make choosing something extremely hard when it comes to a lifetime career, there are things we enjoy most and there are things we enjoy a certain amount.
Trying to choose out of all the things we enjoy, is like being back on a school playground trying to decide who should be “it” in a game of tag or hide and seek. For those who aren’t quite sure what I mean, i’m talking playing eenie, meenie to choose who you want to be “it” before you actually get to the game, it’s pretty much stalling and delaying, I mean let’s face it no one liked being IT in those games and if you did like having to find everyone in hide and seek or you enjoyed chasing after people when playing tag, then I don’t know, maybe you were just a different kind of species, kidding ha!!
Okay, maybe choosing a career isn’t quite like a game of hide and seek or tag, i’m most likely exaggerating that part, but it’s just so stressful!! Going back to the playground days, when your a kid, you have in mind all these things you find cool that you might want to be, it’s kinda where it all starts really, something catches your interest, you become fascinated by it and that’s what you want to be, as a kid you’re fascinated by everything!!
Being asked “what you would like to be when you’re older” makes it feel as though you’re expected to give an answer and that’s where the first pressures tend to arise, although your just a kid, you still have this feeling as though you have to answer that daunting question (hopefully I used daunting in a correct way) so you kinda just go with something that seems interesting in that moment. I mean you’re a kid so you kinda just throw anything out there that is part of an interest of yours, but the older you get,
The more your interests start to change and that can cause a bit of frustration when you thought you had something in mind, but later discover that what you thought you wanted to be was something you weren’t even quite sure about to begin with, you just felt you had to answer.
Once you’ve reached a good age where you should be in a certain position and you see you aren’t there, that’s where the frustration continues to grow because out of all the things you enjoyed, not one of them stood out to where it made you want to continue on with it for a long time and make it into a career and you think to yourself “you waited this long to start thinking about a career” you add to the pressure that you already feel, unsure of a clear direction or career and with that you feel a little defeated.
You know you went so long without deciding what it was you wanted to do and although you know it’s not too late and that you can still figure it out, you still have that frustration inside you, being an adult and not having decided on a career is the most stressful thing to deal with.
And it’s not just the dealing, it’s the emotions that come along with it as well, you want to start something, but not just for the sake of it, you want something to look forward to, something that’s going to have you unable to wait to get started, you want a career that you don’t mind getting stressed about because it means that much to you that you want it to be right…..
P.S. I wrote this post a few days ago, i’m not really sure whether to post this or not, I think I might, but even when I do, i’m still going to feel unsure about it the moment it’s up. When it comes to these kind of writes, I try to avoid sharing them because they tend to come out of a place of stress and frustration, but I guess sometimes it’s okay if they do.
I don’t think i’m finished talking about this topic, so for now i’ve added it as a part 1 post, suggesting there’s going to be another part on it, the second part will come from a different mood stand point, it’s also quite long so i’m going to have to try and shorten it someway, but keep an eye out for it!!
You might see it later today or sometime this upcoming week, not sure on the posting schedule of it quite yet, but you’ll see it, for now I hope you’re all having a good day and you enjoyed your weekend.
All The Love ❤ ❤
How’s everyone doing these days, hope well!! Now I know what some of you are probably thinking, “Where have you been!?” and if you aren’t thinking that well then, that’s okay, but I will sorta explain why I haven’t written anything new for the past 2 to almost 3 weeks, I think the longest i’ve went not posting is about a few days maybe a week, this times a new record, we surpassed a week of not posting, can we get an hurrah!?
No i’m kidding, I haven’t posted on here for a reason, you see i’ve been away due to my brain thinking a lot mainly on where i’m going or want to go at least……there’s a lot of things that I haven’t really expressed on here, I might do that one day, not sure when exactly, but one day……
I still haven’t gained that much courage to do so just yet. Now even though I haven’t written and posted anything new on my blog in a good while, I have been still writing, just more handwriting then typing, i’m actually close to filling one of my journals, not quite finished, but it’s getting there i’d say.
So yeah, i’ve been trying to really think on what I want to do (career wise) this isn’t anything new really, it’s something that i’ve been switching back and forth with for a good while now, i’ve just been putting it off for a good amount of time and you know what that’s no one else’s fault but mine, you think you’re fine with something, but then realize you’re not.
So yeah there’s that for one……i’ve also been trying to get better at certain things…..still sorta working on that……i’m kinda feeling a bit of stress and pressure and that’s me doing that to myself because I really want to get somewhere and feel good about it, I mean we all do don’t we!?
There’s a lot let’s just say, but i’m doing my best to work it all out so I could move forward from where i’ve always been stood, if that makes sense!?
I must say this has got to be the most i’ve written in a while on here, which is surprising for some reason, because normally I write a lot, in my journals at least, i’m not sure how often i’ll be posting on here, I kinda purposely stepped away from here just so I can get my head straight and that, plus i’ve been wanting to make this blog better and i’m not sure in what way I want to do that, maybe it’ll be more personal or something, i’m not sure yet.
Hopefully it’ll all just happen naturally, but yeah that’s just a bit of an update I guess you can say, I don’t know what else to say, I hope you’re all doing well and having a good day sorry it’s taken me a few weeks to write, I kinda felt as though I didn’t have much to say so I didn’t, I have missed it though I won’t say I didn’t, i’m always on here believe it or not haha……
That’s all I have for now, but I will post something again soon, maybe not this week or maybe, who know, I might surprise you and post something one of these days or during the weekend, i’ll go based on if I feel I want to say something or how i’m feeling, right now it’s just how things are going,
But you guys enjoy the rest of your day or night depending on what time of day it is where you are and i’ll write to you guys again soon.
P.S. Since we’re coming to the closing days of Summer I thought i’d share something I made a while ago, I was meant to post it, but never did…..
All The Love ❤ < 3