Purpose….

They say we all have a purpose, but what if that purpose isn’t anything specific, say that purpose is just more on what we make of something or what we want to do with ourselves. Whenever we’re told “Your here for a purpose” it can make you feel as though your supposed to do something great, something BIG and that kind of thing can feel pretty stressful.

I mean what is this purpose we need to do and are we even doing it right!? These kind of questions can make you feel unsure of a lot of things, with the word purpose, when you look at it and say it, it seems important, it can make you feel as though you have to carry the world on your shoulder and be this unstoppable force to be reckon with, even though those are just sayings and are a metaphor, it still feels like a huge thing to do.

You think to yourself “Why do we see it as this wondrous thing and why do we care and try to live up to it?” When it comes to the word “Purpose” it’s intimidating to have to try and step up to something you have no clue to what it’s about or it’s true concept, the saying “we’re meant to be here”

Is also pretty intimidating, it pretty much goes hand in hand with the word purpose, both have this feeling of importance, like something is expected to where you have to follow some kind of mystery road and or path, yet it’s an unclear clue to what and where it actually is.

That all being said, I know that there are some things that have a specific purpose, some are useful and some useless and when I say useless, I mean it more on the side of not quite what you expected it to be, take some toys for example, some are very educational and quite useful and really fun, but then you have some toys that only do one thing and can end up being a little underwhelming/anticlimactic and not as fun, although you probably know not to get your hopes up with it, you kinda sorta do anyway.

You always kind of feel like it’s going to surprise you and do something extraordinary for some reason and when it doesn’t (as expected) it leaves you feeling pretty bummed out, but you knew it would do that, but it’s that hope that it might do something else, even though you know it’s not going to because it’s meant to be a one thing kind of toy, but you’re left there sighing to yourself, thinking “I guess I knew that’d happen” but on the other hand sometimes you’ll come across a toy, you think is a one purpose thing, but end up learning that sometimes it’ll have other useful uses to it, leaving you both mind blown and full of joy, which you gotta love, who knew right!?

Going back on track though and talking more life base of what we’re supposed to be doing and that, that kind of purpose can throw you for a loop and leave your head going in circles or wandering for days on end, making you think, if there is some kind of purpose and we are meant to be here, why do we have a hard time knowing what it is and what to do?

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa

Look At Those Eyes….

Song Of The Day: Look At Those Eyes By Alexz Johnson (this is one of my favorite songs from of course one of my favorite artists Alexz Johnson, love her!! The title of this post as you can see was inspired by it!!)

They say when you look into the eyes of someone, not only do you see the window to their soul, but you also get to really see their true emotions and how their actually feeling. We always try and hide the way we feel and that’s because we try not to let people know that were struggling, it’s odd though, we’re fine with showing off the happy parts of our lives and of ourselves, but when it comes to the parts we think no ones going to want to see, we hide it and try to lock it away so we’re not asked questions.

Once we find ourselves on the low side of town, we automatically feel as though we have to discard it and put up this front and pretend that everything is okay and that we’re fine…..that we don’t have any issues and were happy, but when you really get a good look, you see that’s not the truth, that’s why we tend to avoid people, because not only are we afraid that we’re going to ruin people’s moods with our own,

but we know that if people spend even the smallest amount of time with us and catch even a glimpse into our eyes…..they will know the truth and see all the emotions and struggles we tried so desperately to keep hidden away and having people see that, makes us want to crawl away somewhere and you may ask why, it’s because we’re ashamed and embarrassed to have to let those things show, the thought of a million questions and worrying…..

It’s for that reason we avoid, it’s for that reason, we think staying to ourselves is much better than being around people, at least when we’re alone we don’t have to worry about feeling uncomfortable with ourselves, because we’ve gotten so used to the feeling. If we’re around people when we aren’t feeling our best it’s like we have to pretend again, we have to go on stage and play this part that we really aren’t familiar with, but we make sure to sell the hell out of it as best as we can, sometimes it works…..

Other times not as much, that’s only because when you have people around you that know you, it’s hard to fool them, unless your acting skills are on a high that day….but everything you need or want to know are in the way of a persons eyes, some are lost, sad, angry…..

Then you have some that are full of light and are actually fine, other times though, when you’re looking into someones eyes you’ll find that they just don’t know what to do and are just trying to get things right someway, even though they have no clue what they’re doing.

P.S. This was a journal entry I wrote a few weeks ago, I felt this to be appropriate to share today, if you have any thoughts share it down below!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

The Talk….

No not that kind of talk if your wondering, it’s more serious, although that kind of talk is serious too….we’re not going to talk about that here though. Hearing the words “we need to talk” or “I need to talk to you” is one of the few words that makes my stomach sink, I mean let’s be real,

No one like those words, it always leads to a conversation you don’t want to hear majority of the time, yet have to face sometimes. It’s just one of those talks you’d rather avoid than talk about, but it’s the only way to talk about things that need talking about, avoiding it only makes the prolong of it worst and more serious and you end up feeling terrible because you knew the conversation needed to be brought up, but refused to approach it,

because of the thought of what that talk might turn into….a lot of the time it might not be all that bad, but it doesn’t mean the thought of it isn’t…..assumptions aren’t the best way to go though, you don’t really know what you’re going to be talking about, until you’re actually talking about it, whether it is “The Talk” or not, you should still talk.

Which talk approach is your worst nightmare!? “We need to talk”, “I need to talk to you” or “can I talk to you!?” share your thoughts below

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Writing Prompt: Write About Yourself

Objective: Describe yourself, surroundings, frame of mind and emotional state, but try and write it in a third person point of you (he/she not I or me)

She wakes up to a repeated routine, washing dishes, making coffee with toast and then sits on her bed in the center of the room. She grabs a few journals from her bookcase, adds a little background noise and tries her best to look busy when deciding on what she can write about in a journal.

Her mind soon starts wandering, thinking on how she should be more productive then this. Feelings of guilt and stress come over her, making the situation look like a good place to sulk and and sit in self-pity, she tries to come up with solutions that could help her to move forward, but she lets herself think of outcomes to trying, letting in the Anxiety and giving her an excuse to not go fourth with it, knowing full well it wasn’t a good one.

She asks herself questions, that she already has the answers to, asking people for advice and tips, hoping that this time she’ll finally put them into actions herself, without the need of guidance. She locks herself away and forces herself to stay where she is, even though she knows it’s not where she wants to be, she glances outside her window, watching everyone’s life inattentive of her own, as she sees it as better. Deep in thought,

She wonders how it got so bad, but only she would know the true answer to that, it was her that held back, allowing herself to fall behind when all she had to do was try harder, she allowed her head to get the best of her in moving forward, underestimating herself and believing she wasn’t good enough. If only she would allow herself to be confident and trust in the abilities that she possesses, instead of questioning and second guessing herself, things would change and be a little better, she just can’t bring herself to believe she has it in her to do so, why you might ask!?

Fear, it’s fear that keeps her hidden, it’s the thought of being judged and feeling as if she won’t fit in wherever she goes, that she’ll feel too out of place. It’s the worry that whatever she does, won’t be good enough, those fears have always been there, but it’s not until now that they’ve started slowly coming to the surface, not fitting in never really bothered her before, but now it ends up in the back of her mind at times, those fears need to go if she wants to get anywhere and even she herself knows it’s time to move.

P.S. I hope I did this whole writing prompt right, I found this creative writing prompt website last night, okay I searched for it more like, I was curious and wanted to see what kind of prompts there were so I could try my hand at it, there were quite a few, I might try out another one, this one was fun, it actually made writing a little less intimidating….

If you would like to give it a try as well, the link is here: Creative Writing Prompts there’s other prompts on there as well if you prefer to do a different one, it’s good writing practice, at least that’s what I think prompts are for, I don’t really do them all that often ha. Hope you enjoy!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

2 Weeks Away, Almost 3….

How’s everyone doing these days, hope well!! Now I know what some of you are probably thinking, “Where have you been!?” and if you aren’t thinking that well then, that’s okay, but I will sorta explain why I haven’t written anything new for the past 2 to almost 3 weeks, I think the longest i’ve went not posting is about a few days maybe a week, this times a new record, we surpassed a week of not posting, can we get an hurrah!?

No i’m kidding, I haven’t posted on here for a reason, you see i’ve been away due to my brain thinking a lot mainly on where i’m going or want to go at least……there’s a lot of things that I haven’t really expressed on here, I might do that one day, not sure when exactly, but one day……

I still haven’t gained that much courage to do so just yet. Now even though I haven’t written and posted anything new on my blog in a good while, I have been still writing, just more handwriting then typing, i’m actually close to filling one of my journals, not quite finished, but it’s getting there i’d say.

So yeah, i’ve been trying to really think on what I want to do (career wise) this isn’t anything new really, it’s something that i’ve been switching back and forth with for a good while now, i’ve just been putting it off for a good amount of time and you know what that’s no one else’s fault but mine, you think you’re fine with something, but then realize you’re not.

So yeah there’s that for one……i’ve also been trying to get better at certain things…..still sorta working on that……i’m kinda feeling a bit of stress and pressure and that’s me doing that to myself because I really want to get somewhere and feel good about it, I mean we all do don’t we!?

There’s a lot let’s just say, but i’m doing my best to work it all out so I could move forward from where i’ve always been stood, if that makes sense!?

I must say this has got to be the most i’ve written in a while on here, which is surprising for some reason, because normally I write a lot, in my journals at least, i’m not sure how often i’ll be posting on here, I kinda purposely stepped away from here just so I can get my head straight and that, plus i’ve been wanting to make this blog better and i’m not sure in what way I want to do that, maybe it’ll be more personal or something, i’m not sure yet.

Hopefully it’ll all just happen naturally, but yeah that’s just a bit of an update I guess you can say, I don’t know what else to say, I hope you’re all doing well and having a good day sorry it’s taken me a few weeks to write, I kinda felt as though I didn’t have much to say so I didn’t, I have missed it though I won’t say I didn’t, i’m always on here believe it or not haha……

That’s all I have for now, but I will post something again soon, maybe not this week or maybe, who know, I might surprise you and post something one of these days or during the weekend, i’ll go based on if I feel I want to say something or how i’m feeling, right now it’s just how things are going,

But you guys enjoy the rest of your day or night depending on what time of day it is where you are and i’ll write to you guys again soon.

P.S. Since we’re coming to the closing days of Summer I thought i’d share something I made a while ago, I was meant to post it, but never did…..

All The Love ❤ < 3

~Lexa~

Now Playing: Death Of Me By PVRIS (Aug 7, 2019)

I guess we’re having a PVRIS theme today, because I can not get their songs out of my head, this morning when making toast and coffee I was singing they’re song Holy to myself and now i’m finding myself humming to their song What’s Wrong…..so with that, looks like i’ll be writing about them today, lucky they recently came out with a new single, so I think i’ll take upon this opportunity to give my thoughts on it and talk about them a bit.

Now just to give you guys a heads up, I kinda already went and listened to the song this past Sunday night and wrote down my thoughts to it in one of my journals as I was listening to it, so this is going to be one of those song review kind of posts, everything that I wrote down in my journal,

Majority of those notes and thoughts will be in this post, I might change some stuff as i’m going along that I hadn’t written down already, adding stuff to it and maybe changing certain things as well, I don’t know, but as i’m writing, it should come together, but yeah just a heads up on that!!

I won’t stall anymore, kidding that was just an introduction, but on to my thoughts and reaction to the song, in written form…..hope this works…..

Quick Note: It took me 3 weeks, after the release of the song just to listen to it, again 3 weeks!! I waited to hear this, yeah……alright….

Review starting in 3…2…1….LET’S GO!!

Song starts: We’re in the beginning of the song and I didn’t expect it to start off as a dance song…..a bit confusing, knowing how a PVRIS song is, I wouldn’t have expected it to have this kind of groove to it…….i’m intrigued with it though so far…..(reaction 21 seconds into the song)

Went back to the beginning to re listen properly, because the start of the song reminded me of their other song Holy from their album White Noise, listen to the start of it carefully, it’s in the kick of the drum to where it sorta sounds like it, but after a while you start to hear it come into it’s own sound, it’s pretty cool, it’s like a good memory……(reaction 1 second into the song, going back to the beginning)

Quick Journal Note: I think at this point I paused it, because in my journal I wrote nervous yet excited as I was listening to the song and I was……then I talked about how I haven’t heard any of the Jonas Brothers new songs yet,

Mind you they’re one of my favorite bands that I grew up on and their songs have been out for a good few months now, so you’d think that’d be the first band i’d listen to……nope I went and checked out PVRIS new song instead of theirs, that came out 3 weeks ago……priorities!!

Don’t worry I already decided that i’m going to be listening to them finally sometimes this week, maybe Friday so everyone calm down, relax it’s cool!!

Back to the song……I had to re look at my notes to figure out if I was in the beginning or middle of the song, it’s still the beginning because I went back before…..(reaction 26 seconds into the song) liking the lyrics so far, normally I tend to focus on the lyrics to a song, because it’s the part that I feel draws you in, but with this song, my focus is on the rhythm and beat of it, which is new……it’s good though…..we’re at the chorus now and THERE GOES PVRIS!!

I knew the PVRIS usual style would kick in at some point, it only took close to a minute in…..which is fine i’m not saying that’s wrong. (reaction 56 seconds into the song) I like the second verse line of the chorus “One man’s hell is another’s god, it’s all about perspective or parallax.”

Their writing style continues to get me, like seriously how do they do it!? I don’t know (reaction 1.27 seconds into the song) like the bridge part, real groovy, I really like the build up towards the next lines involving the chorus it just comes in nicely, love it!!

From this point I didn’t really write anything else about the song, because it had finished, I did write my overall thoughts to the song though, which I will share in a moment, right abooout……..NOW!!

OKAY, my overall and final thoughts of the song…..I didn’t like it…..no i’m kidding, my whole written reaction would literally counter me saying that…

Final Thoughts: I liked it!! I mean it, I have no bad words to say on it, was it different to what i’m used to or was expecting from PVRIS!?

Hell yeah, but it’s still good!! Now that being said I know a lot of people may not feel the same way and not like it as much or maybe they will who knows, my thoughts on the song however is that I genuinely enjoyed it very much, again it wasn’t what I was expecting, but it still worked for me,

I liked that they went more dance with this, but still gave us the usual PVRIS style edge that they have to them. Every time I hear a PVRIS song it always amazes me, because they’re just great, the way they put things together when it comes to their music is fascinating, I can’t explain it…..I just love them!! I thought the lyrics were great, Lynn’s voice is always great!!

It was actually very interesting the way she decided to go about singing this song, a lot of people, including myself, expected to hear that intensity power that she normally, not always, but most times has to her voice, you know that aggressiveness that you would normally hear from her, however we didn’t hear that style to her voice in this, which again was very interesting….

Her soft voice though too is lovely, I wasn’t expecting her to keep her voice in the middle though and when I say middle, I mean as leveled as she had it, but it was nice, I really enjoyed it!!

To me I still think she does give us that soft and intense voice in the song, it’s just not as fully turned up to how she normally would have it which is nice, I like that she did it differently this time around, it doesn’t always have to be fully on, it can be evened out at times and even if this song was full on, it would still be great, because PVRIS is great!!

However way Lynn decides to sing her songs, doesn’t really matter to me because i’m going to enjoy it either way……you know, I don’t think i’ve heard a PVRIS song I didn’t like……hopefully it stays that way, but if it ever came down to the point where I came across a bad PVRIS song…..i’d express it, but so far they’re songs have been pretty good and i’ve enjoyed each one, but yeah those are my thoughts for PVRIS’s new single Death Of Me!!

Now I did write something on their music video as well, after I listened to the song, but I don’t think it’s really that interesting so I think i’m going to leave it out of this post, I might post my actual notes from my journal about the song and music video later, probably on my social media…..maybe, we’ll see, but that’s all my thoughts on the song.

Definitely go and have a listen to their new single, it is pretty catchy, the groove to it is really great as well and I think some of you might enjoy it, maybe not all, but some of you might who knows……i’ll leave it just in case you’re curious and want to it hear it: Death Of Me (Lyric Video)

Be sure to go and watch the music video for it as well, PVRIS tend to have a way with their music videos, there’s always some kind of special meaning behind it, to where, I wouldn’t even begin to be able to tell you it…..it’s something you’ll have to see yourself to figure out and come up with your own interpretations for, I couldn’t come up with anything, but it was very interesting i’ll tell you that, but I liked it!! Death Of Me (Music Video)

If you’re wondering the best way to listen to the song, I would suggest, watching the lyric video for it first so you can follow the lyrics and then go and watch the music video after, so you can see how it works with the song and maybe try to interpret the meaning behind it, that’s how I did it, but you could listen to it any way you want really, it’s just a suggestion.

I hope you’re all having a good day and doing alright and I hope you guys enjoy the song and music video, thanks for reading!! ^_^

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Pre Prepping For Post Writing Or Anything Really…. (Aug 6, 2019)

Pre writing and prepping before the initial due date or when you plan to have something done, may actually help get something done on the time, you hope to get it done…….thinking about what to write about, I started trying to plan a writing schedule for my posts, this is something i’ve been thinking about for a while now, but I could never come up with one that quite fit so I never bothered sticking to one……

However I think I figured it out this time, there are certain topics that I have wanted to have a specific “post day” for, posts in the Now Playing….category where I talk about certain artists and discuss their new music and my thought on it, even going and talking about the artists themselves, sometimes it won’t even be about an artist and their new music, but just sharing some of my favorite songs and everything,

While hopefully maybe giving you guys some recommendations for new music to listen to in the process….i’m sure you get what I mean though….

It’s those kind of posts that I keep wanting to set specific days for, i’m not really sure why, I have this thing where when I think of music, I think of the weekend (no not the singer) the actual weekend, although you can listen to it on any day of the week really, you don’t have to specify it,

but when I think of music and the feeling of it, it gives off a relaxing chill down time kind of mode or mood (whichever you prefer) it’s exciting and inviting and it lets you just wind down and enjoy yourself for the moment.

Just like when you get that weekend feeling, you know!? I’ve been trying to set it up that way for a while, but with the way I write it never works out quite that way……but I think I have it lined up this time, I think pre writing it and scheduling it to when I want it to be posted might just help with that…

It’ll also keep the stress of thinking I have to hurry and get this done down, when it gets close to the day, by that time, it’ll already be up which means I won’t have to worry…..when it comes to my other posts those should come naturally, but let’s see how prepping and pre writing a post works out……

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~