You Can’t Hide From Yourself….

Let’s just get it off our chest, we’re uncomfortable…..we don’t like it and we want it to stop, buut it’s not going to is it!? As humans we always think we can escape our own uncomfortability, but the one person that you’re unable to get away from is yourself so what exactly are you doing!? You want to know why I’m uncomfortable!? Well, I’ll try to explain it in a way that, hopefully doesn’t reveal to many personal details, but to keep a long story short….I’m uncomfortable with the fact that, when I’m thinking about something that I know I want to do I will take FOREVER just to decide on it, even when I know I want to do it….

However, one thing about me that I know is my least favorite trait to my personality is…..I’m always siking myself out of things or I overthink it too much to where I already know it frustrates those around me, they don’t have to say it to me because I can feel it and by knowing that, it’ll brings me more stress and frustration because you know the reason you feel like that is due to the fact that you’re afraid to let people down, which wait for it…..adds MORE stress because you’re also fighting with yourself thinking “Why are you worrying about everyone else!?”

Asking yourself that question then just makes you want to scream because although you know why you worry, part of you just wish you didn’t worry or care so much about these things…..and all of that starts mixing together because you could never put you, nor your needs and wants first, leaving you to feel a little upset with yourself, where you’re just like “You always worry about other people and how they’re going to feel” although there’s nothing wrong with caring about others and wanting to make sure they’re going to be okay….

You as person also have to know when it’s time to say “I love you, but no” and be okay with choosing to honor yourself and the things you want to go after! That being said, we also have to live and embrace the uncomfortability of it all!! No matter what we do, we will always be uncomfortable, there’s no way of escaping it, we live to experience, we live to discover and to be amazed along with all the other emotions and feelings we go through within our journey here!

We have to be uncomfortable in order to know what we’re comfortable with, once that’s discovered, we then find and learn what our comfortablities are and how to embrace them along with the uncomfortable! It’s not something we have to necessarily like feeling, but it is something we have to accept whether we want to or not! We have to be okay with the shadow parts of ourselves…..if you really think about it, we’re practically yin and yang inside, we all have the light part of us and the dark part, if we are always leaning towards the light and pushing the dark away, we’re not really giving ourselves the chance to truly experience who we are all the way around…..which isn’t fair!

Just because something is dark doesn’t mean that there isn’t any goodness to it! I may have said this before already, but we all know how diamonds are formed, they go through a lot of pressure before turning into something beautiful!! Amethyst forms from volcantic lava and pearls can be found within oysters, before stones become stones they have to go through some kind of dark experience themselves before we get to see the true beauty of them…..it’s never easy when you feel like every wall is caving in on you or where things are just not going well whatsoever, BUT it’s important to be aware that, all of it is necessary and instead of seeing it as a negative experience automatically, we have to understand that, it happens because we’re evolving and we need it in order for our growth to thrive and for us to continue to be the best versions of ourselves that we already are wheher we see it or not!

We can’t have the good without the bad, even if we prefer it better, the more we try to resist the uncomfortable the more worst and uncomfortable it’s going to get, so allow it, accept it and be okay with it, you don’t have to love it, but honestly who loves being uncomfortable!? Allow the transformation that you’re going to be experiencing to unfold and happen and be amazed at what you see!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

From A Bird In A Window To This…..(May 16, 2019)

I’m going to be completely honest with you here…….I don’t know what this is and I made this haha, I could tell you the backstory to this one, but just to give you a disclaimer, it’s not really a long one, in fact this here pretty much formed on it’s own…….

I had something completely different in mind, but it didn’t come together as I hoped it would, but after a bit of frustration turned calm, some tinkering to it here and there and animal crossing music, this is what flourished…….

It took 2 days for it to come out this way, but i’d say it’s quite something and I mean that in a good way, but yeah……don’t know what i’ll be naming this one, but whatever the name, i’m happy with this!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Elements: Earth (Part 3)

Where we get sunsets, sunrises and all the best of the sky……my favorite is the night sky though, I find it to be the most fascinating!! You got the stars, the moon and just the wonders of the night…..but with the day however, you get to see the greenery of the Earth and the way it goes well the sky……

You get to really take it in you know!? Then we have the rivers which combine themselves with waterfalls that flow so calmly, but roughly too, we get beautiful stones from them, as well as the caves, those are the special ones……there’s forests, unique places, unknown places, you name it!!

Most importantly though, we have the Earth’s grounds……it’s where we explored, wandered and built the things that we have now, there’s a lot of history and a whole lot of story telling with the Earth, there’s a story within every bit of it, a lot of what we know and a lot of what we don’t……..

That’s what makes it lovely and interesting though, not only is the Earth a place, but I gotta say it’s probably one of the best elements that we have, don’t you think!?

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Dream Journal: The Stone And A Singing Bird (Nov 17, 2018)

Hey everyone I hope you’re all doing well, i’m not really sure what to write about today, i’ll be honest i’m not really in a mood for writing, because i’m super tired, but I didn’t want to not write at the same time and so I said to myself if i’m gonna write something I don’t want it to sound like I don’t really care about it, so what i’m saying is I don’t want to just write something for the heck of it you know, I want it to be something i’m happy to write about and not have it to where I just pretty much say here you go and call it a night, you know what I mean!? Who wants to read that!? 

It’s not easy to think of topics when all your brain wants to do is sleep you know!? So I thought about what I could share with you guys that would be interesting to read and I came up the perfect i’d say, topic to share. As you can probably guess from the title, I will be sharing a new dream journal entry with you, hopefully you find it interesting…….I had this dream the other day and was thinking of sharing it when I had the dream, but I wasn’t sure on it and then I had another dream last night and so I thought why not share both dreams and write it in a blog post.

Now these entries aren’t gonna be very long, hopefully they won’t be long, but we’ll see. The dream I had last night is gonna be a short one, but the one I had the other day i’m not quite sure, anyway let’s head on down to my dreamland shall we!?

This dream is the one I had the other day:

Okay so………I was walking down this hallway…….it looked like a school hallway and I was walking with a group of people, however I stopped, while the others went ahead…….I remember walking into a classroom and it was weird because at first I didn’t walk in right away, I said something to everyone that was in the classroom…….now I can’t really remember everything I said, but what I do remember is me, pretty much warning them about something. You’re probably gonna ask me what I warned them about, but I wouldn’t be able to tell you anyway, it was really weird because it did’t feel like anything bad, but it also didn’t feel good either…….All I remember is me saying “Something’s gonna happen, but I don’t know what it is” that’s what I said again I wasn’t sure whether to take it as bad thing or a good thing.

So after saying that, I remember everyone is that classroom getting up to leave and I started to walk a little quickly, not running, but a little speed walk……..I also remember being in a room that was also a classroom with the group of people I was walking with before and I don’t know why, but we were all kinda like what seemed like gathering everything that was in that room, I remember passing a bookcase and then walking to a certain corner of the room……….clearing out what looked to be like a nightstand side table, weird I know………I also remember looking out towards the window, it was one of those big school windows and I remember seeing a whole bunch of people heading towards a bus or some kind of transportation thing and I actually just remembered this now, but I think everyone who was outside, when I looked out the window, I think they were carry colorful flowers, I remember seeing bright colors like Yellow, I think pink and baby blue or something, i’m not sure, I do remember yellow for some reason……

I remember there being a nice kinda sky, you know sunny, kinda clear with a few clouds, it was also weird though, because I remember seeing a building and it being on fire and seeing smoke coming from it, which was weird, in my dream I felt confused in a way……what else!? I remember clearing the rest of the nightstand, so anything that was one it, I was putting in a bag, but it was really weird, because while I was doing that, I had this feeling of “Do I really need to do this, do I really need all of this!?” I remember looking over to a friend of mine who was in my dream, asking him if he thought I needed to take everything pretty much and he looked at me and said no and I thought about it and I looked over to someone else who I would presume was like the guidance/teacher of all of us we’ll say, it was a woman and I asked her and she also said I didn’t need to,

I started putting everything back not where it was originally, but kinda where it was at first, if that makes sense and the last thing I remember is putting stones in this bag, but I remember grabbing one and observing it and then I put it down, what was interesting about the stone though was…….it was one of those flat smooth ones that you’d find at the lake or something, but it had like 2 to 3 round flat pebbles attached to it, which i’ve never seen before so that was something and yeah that’s the end of that dream, it was really odd, yet very interesting. 

The dream I had last night was also weird, all I remember from that one is walking in some kind of backyard, only this backyard was huge, it was like a horse farm or something or some kind of field, i’m not sure……..I remember walking in the backyard and this bird just flying around singing to me and I don’t mean one of those bird songs, no I mean ACTUALLY SINGING TO ME!!! I’m not really sure what kind of bird it was, it was medium size though, it could’ve been an owl or some other bird, but either way this bird had some real talent. The song that was sung to me, you guys might not know it, because it’s kinda like a Disney song, but not a Disney song, it’s called Rush by Aly & AJ and I even remember the line that was sung to me because it’s been in my mind all day, the line that was sung was “Don’t let nobody tell you, your life is over, be every color that you are” that’s all I remember hearing and then I woke up. 

Those are both my dreams, they happened on different days, just in case you were confused, but yeah that’s it really, I hope you found these dream to be interesting, I just wanted to share them, i’m not quite sure what they mean exactly, but yeah………anyway I hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening. 

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~ 

Photo by Sean Stratton on Unsplash