Dear Little Me…..(Updated)

It’s been a while hasn’t it, if only you knew all things we have been through…..I mean seeing that you are apart of me, you probably already know huh!? I’ll be honest I wasn’t really expecting to write to you, it was only after that I read a bit of the first I guess you can call letter post that I wrote to you back in 2018 that I felt like I wanted to update you on a few things that we’ve managed to do…..I’m writing this a bit on the late side on the 15th of September nearly midnight, but not necessarily midnight it’s still around 11:30pm as I’m writing this now, I might just continue this post in the morning so I could really tell you everything that I want you to know….I’ll catch you up on what those things are soon, a part of me might keep the rest as a surprised though, see you in a couple of hours!

Good Morning me, well younger me…..it’s a little early, around 8:40am almost 9am, I don’t know if you remember us always getting up earlier than we needed to back then, there were moments when we got up a bit late as well! Sometimes we’d get up at almost 10am and if we got up at 11am we were upset the whole day…..I’m glad that I changed our sleep schedule all those times ago ha! I don’t know where to start with what’s been going on….We’ve been on quite the journey you and I, a lot of stresses, emotions both good and bad, we had some loses in our lives as well, that meant a lot to us….but on a good note, we did find someone that loves us for our weirdness as well as everything else believe it our not lol…..there’s a lot of things that’s happened since the last time I spoke to you!

We’ve been through some storms, but the one thing though that I feel you’ll really like is that…..we got through them and most of them we’re really hard, because they pushed us to really grow ourselves more and change as well, in the last letter I wrote you…..I felt like I was not doing you proud, that I had failed you as an older version of me and I never knew how to really express that in the best of ways, I only knew how to say sorry and feel bad about everything we were going through at the time…..I wanted you to be happy and I didn’t really give you that chance to be happy then….it took a long while, but I just want you to know that we’re doing good now, where we were then, we aren’t there anymore!

We managed to find our voice, now I won’t say we found it fully fully, there’s still some things that we both are still working out and trying to understand better, which is normal, because not everyone has figured everything out yet, but we have learned a lot and I can honestly say that we are becoming better versions of ourselves more and more each day! Don’t get me wrong we still have our moments where we aren’t always happy and feeling our best, but to how we used to handle those days to how we handle them now…..we’re doing pretty alright for ourselves, our emotions don’t constantly get at us the way they used to, we’ve learned to control them a lot better and not be so hard on ourselves….I mean we’re still hard on ourselves at times, but I think that’s never going to go away really, but that’s okay because it helps us to want to be better!

We’ve grown on a personal level, we’re still the same, but there our some new differences within ourselves that we’ve gained with our personality, for example….we’ve gotten a bit more sarcastic lately, we say what’s on our mind a lot more these days, a bit quickly too, might I add and we’ve gotten better at not taking up things that we know we don’t need in a negative sense….I guess you can say we’ve gotten a bit tougher and stronger since the last time, but I think part of those part of me comes from you if that makes sense, especially all the sassy parts that I wouldn’t have ever thought to come out!! All our fears that we used to worry ourselves about, we have moments where they pop up, but you’ll be happy to know that instead of always wanting to avoid them and run away, we try and face them the best we can…..we come way out of our comfort zone, well we’re nearing the surface at least, we don’t swim the best, but we do our best to get to where we want to be!

Like I said we’re still learning as we go along, but that’s only part of the journey we’re on…..it’s just the beginning and we’re just getting started, but we’re flying little me, just like you always wanted and I promise that I’m going to keep doing my best to make you proud to be me older, because I just want you to be happy and I want you to know that the adventures you go, as new and hard as they may be at times and you may feel like you’re not getting where you need to, but know that you’re always going to get where you need even when you get lost a bit, sometime you have to get a little lost before you’re found! We’re always going to be okay, I know that because I got you and I know that when I’m lost, you’ll found a way to point me to where you feel it’s best to go so I know to keep going, because together is where the magic starts to happen!

All the feelings of being scared, but wanting to still give it a shot anyway, taking those risks, I never thought we’d get to that point, but I got to say that, doing those things, makes me happy, I still get nervous and scared, but I hope that you feel happy that we’re finally doing them…..there’s still some stuff that I know I want to tell you, but I know know how to express them properly just yet, so I will leave them for another time, the moment I find those words and I’m able to piece them all together you’ll know…..I just wanted to tell you that we’re okay and that we’re a little bit more happier than we were before…..I’ll see you soon!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Last Month Of Summer….

Good Afternoon Everyone, Happy August….that is if this month started off well for you! If it didn’t I hope it goes better from here on out, I mean we’re only on the second day so don’t worry on it too much, sometimes we have slow startups, but that doesn’t mean we won’t get going eventually! Farewell July and welcome August, the last month of the Summer….how mad is it that Summer is practically over and we’re getting closer to the Autumn season!? I’d say pretty mad, although I always feel summer flies by normally, however Summer this year, has stayed for quite a while so the fact that we’re just now reaching the end of Summer, that’s the mad part to me at least!

The start of August started a little rocky, by rocky I mean more on a personal manner, it kind of followed in toward the end of the July month and started on a less of a high note with the start of this month, but the rest of the day yesterday wasn’t all bad, there weren’t great moments, but it wasn’t too bad! I want to say that I know what this month will have in store, but I’m going to hold off on saying that, do I have an inkling on what I feel this month will be like!? Not really….but I have a lot of hope that whatever it turns out to be that it’ll be good!

July was a bit of an up and down month, well to me anyway, It might’ve been different for you guys and if so I’m glad that you had a good month last month, when it comes to August who knows what it’ll be like, just because it may have started off a little rough, doesn’t mean that it won’t turn around! August may start off delayed for a lot of people and if that is happening try not to get too worked up about it, it being a bit delayed may just mean that something needs a little more time to make progress or need times to be able to really get the ball rolling on whatever important decisions you find yourself unable to really make a definite choice on, which is alright!

We may just need that extra moment of thought or whatever it is we feel is needed even if we may not know or really see it if that makes sense!? Everything is going to turn out alright, some of us just maybe need to wait it out a bit or let it take natural form in a way that we have yet to witness, who knows maybe it’s already happened for a lot of you already, it may have started that way at the end of last month and there’s a possibility that it’s continuing to make that progress that you will eventually see unfold one by one, it’s just a matter of time!!

Again, if it isn’t happening like that right away, don’t freight, it will, it just might need a little more time to get started! Like I said I have a lot of hope that August will be a promising month full of surprises and new beginnings, be it planned or unplanned, I guess we’ll have to wait to find out!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Acceptance Of The Old Or Of The New!? (July 6, 2019)

I’ll be honest, this title is stumping me a little on how i’m going to write about this, even though I titled it this way, there’s always something that is going to be a little of your comfort level, but sometimes you have to try even if you aren’t sure on how it’ll go or sound in this case.

Sometime we accept certain things that we shouldn’t and push away things that can be too much to take in because it evolves changing the things we are already used to, even if those things may be good for us in the long run.

In this case we talk on the topic of change and new beginnings for something better and different…….the word different is something a lot of us don’t like really like to embrace, because it secretly has the word change, hidden within it which makes us want to run and hide from it.

Not everyone likes change as we all know, even if it’s the good kind, we prefer comfort and not having to change anything around us, we see it as why change something when there’s nothing wrong with it!? However even though it may not look like it from the surface, doesn’t mean that there’s nothing wrong hidden deep down inside…….

The insane part about it is that most of the time we know that we’ve grown or are growing out of the comfort of what we know, yet we choose to stay and continue living in the mentally discomfort of our own ways and or bad habits and lifestyle we try to keep around, knowing that it’s harmful to the growth of ourselves and personality, but we accept it thinking that we need to, when in reality it’s not an obligation to do so……we forget that as human beings we’re meant to evolve and change every now and again.

Even if we have things to us that stay the same, it doesn’t mean we fully are the same person, we change a little everyday and our perspectives on things change as well just like everything else to us…..

We may not like it, but it’s something that we have to let happen otherwise, we’re just going to be miserable and that is nothing, but the truth, the more we hold back on something that is natural to our human nature, the more we’ll continue to regret and become unhappy and we all know that regret is the one thing that we don’t want eating us alive mentally, because even when you think you’ve gotten over something, you’ll find that you really haven’t, it’s always there hidden in your mind even if it doesn’t seem like it.

Accepting something because we think we have to or because we’re used to it, will only make us angry deep under the surface and the more we continue adding fuel to it, the more we’ll start to resent and break and when we start to break everything around us starts collapsing……

Worrying about how people will feel, the way everything will go or even about other peoples lives, only adds stress to the person worrying no one else, it might worry others (people you’re close to) but it won’t do as much damage to them then it will to you and that’s because you’re the one feeling it the most which is why you stress out more, when in reality the only thing that is needed for you to focus on, is yourself in regards to the kind of change you want for you and what you’re willing to accept in your life.

If you accept what is already given, not just with other people, but with yourself and the way things are going in your life depending on whether you’re okay with it or not will depend on the way it makes you feel, if you feel good about it than, there’s no need to worry, but if deep down you’re not willing to accept it than, that should say something clearly……

Although we surround ourselves with different people and different things, we are the ones that have to be satisfied with what we bring and allow in our lives otherwise who’s the happy one!? If it’s not us we’ve done things wrong, we shouldn’t allow nor accept something just because we’re used to it or we feel we have to, not from other people, not even from our scared self, acceptance of the old shouldn’t go clashing with things that are new…..

If anything the old and new should come together in some way, because they’re just as tied together as anything else, we don’t have to get rid of what we already have, but we don’t have to just accept it either, keep what you have, but try to embrace what you can have to,

Even if you are unsure of it, you don’t want to be stuck with a routine that is draining and unfulfilling, accepting where you are and what is expected will only drive you up the walls, instead of being afraid and anxious of a new and most likely better change, try being anxious, but excited for it!!

I mean let’s face it no one is ever calm with new things and if you are, well than I don’t know how that’s possible, but I guess it can happen…….but new things should always bring you a little excitement even when it’s terrifying, I mean if you’re not scared a little, do you even really care!? Be anxious and scared, but be excited a little too, because acceptance of the old should never keep you from accepting what is new…..

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~