Tag: Experiences

Don’t You Ever Grow Up….

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

There comes a day when you start to realize just how quickly everything goes….at first you don’t really think all that much about it, until that wave of realism comes rushing over you. At times it can be extremely overwhelming and hard to grasp, but the more you go about it, the less anxious it gets, sometimes it can make you feel a bit more anxious then what you thought….but it’s important to find some kind of grounding with those kind of moments and try to push through them!

This journey that we’re all on, although very much different, is still quite the same….what I mean by that is for one, we all have some kind of challenges to face, we have to get over bumps to be able to head towards where we’re going and many other things….one thing for sure though…..we’re all just a little or very much scared with each unknown thing that we come across! It’s not until we actually face those uncertain moments that we become less worried about them!

When we’re kids, there’s not really much to worry about is there!? At least for us kids, it’s the parents that do all the worrying, while we’re being quite the curious beings we are, trying to explore all that’s around us…..once we become teenages well that’s where all the challenges come in and where we start to discover who we are just a little bit more….some of us become trouble makers and some may still be trying to find their own voice! I won’t tell you which one I was, although you can probably guess….if you took a guess and said troublemaker well you would be somewhat correct, but more opposite based then what it may seem.

I enjoyed testing people as a kid and if I didn’t like something I would have no problem saying it…..I was a lot tougher and outspoken as a kid more than as a teen……I was what you would call the quiet kid during my teenage years, especially in high school, you would think that, it’d be the other way around, but no…..I didn’t really step out of comfort much during the higher level that life had going for me then…..I became what everyone loves to be (sarcastically speaking) a people pleaser…..to keep the story short…..it took a very long time to get myself out of that!

When I say a long time, let’s just say it wasn’t until recently that, I let that side of me go….well most it at least and when I say recently I mean about…..2 years ago…..it may seem long and yeah it is, but at the same time no it’s not! I’m 27 now and to quote one of my all time favorite artists Alexz Johnson and her song Aftermath “Who I was back then I barely recognize her” which is the truth, right now at this moment….I never thought I would be where I’m currently at now in a more, as a person kind of base, as well as a bit of surroundings!

There are days where I will randomly sit with myself and take everything in and even though I know i’ve gone through it…I still get a bit surprised on how much I’ve transformed as a person and for me it’s a little hard to believe sometimes! There’s still stuff that I know will eventually be improve on, but to collect on everything so far, it’s a little of a wow moment….it may not be a lot to you, but for me it’s a lot….but that’s what growth does to all of us…..we don’t realize certain aspects to ourselves until it sorta hits us in the face and at that point, you have no choice, but to really look at it for a second, to look at yourself and all that you’ve overcomed, each and every challenge that you didn’t think you would possibly get through!

Mind the fears and anxieties of those particular moments and not realize through everything you did eventually get through them, there may have been a lot of ups and downs, hard turns, feeling like you’re going in some kind of loop and let’s not pretend that, there weren’t a couple crashes in those times as well…..we’ve all felt like we hit a dead end and just when that hope and wonder of not knowing whether you’d get out or not, enters your mind…..there would always be that one thing, that made you feel like “I can’t give up…I need to keep going” we might’ve not known where you were going, but you had something in your heart and deep down where you knew….the more you went you would be alright!

We always know the way….even when we think we don’t, it’s always important that we take a moment to listen to our hearts as well as intuition…..it can be hard though because sometimes we do fight with ourselves about what it we actually feel, but even if we aren’t exactly sure in the moment….all we have to do is just go with the next best thing that feels right and makes sense to us…..it may not make sense to everyone else, including those close to you, but honestly the only person it needs to make sense to is you…..no one is really going to truly understand the jouney you go on or that I go on, because it’s not their journey it’s yours, it’s mine, it’s ours as a collective, we’re all experiencing things differently and the older that we get….it can become more difficult to choose the right direction.

Here’s the thing though, there’s really no wrong way of doing things…..if you feel it to be right then it is, who cares if people don’t see it the same way, if it really wasn’t going to be the best for you…..you would know and you’d be told in some way, but you’re not ever going to truly know if you don’t take the chance in finding out! You can be scared and nervous, but don’t ever let it stop you, you got to go for what it is you believe in, because that’s where you will see how much growth you’re going to get from it. You don’t need to feel like you can’t because of whatever or you feel it’s going to upset people….as hard and frightening it is to grow up a bit….it is absolutely necessary especially when you know you want it!

You want to be able to say you tried everything and learned a whole lot from it, all while also saying “I discovered this and I love it” or “Yeah I’ve seen this and even gave it go….it wasn’t my favorite thing, but it was alright” take that in whatever context you want, however I mean it more in a sense of, experiencing all that you have yet to see and would like to see, but not being afraid to step out of comfort, those kind of things! Channel into your kid energy, which by the way is always there, you just have to allow yourself to bring it out at times, but when it comes to curiosity and fearlessness that’s where it can really help guide you!

Just bare in mind that, there will be unexpected and uncomfortable situations that you’ll have to go through and that’s okay! You may not enjoy the things you came across along the way fully, but you’ll still learn something from it and hey even with those not so great moments, there is still something great within them….but a lot of the time, they show themselves when you’re not really paying attention, so if you want to catch them just be aware and stay open to the possibilities!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Levels Of Growth

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Maaan has it been a while since my last post, it’s not yet been a month, but it’s been a while! Honestly I’ve wanting to write something for the longest, yet nothing ever sparked my interest enough to say “yeah this might be a good thing to talk about” We’re already in the middle of April and each day that came by I would just say to myself, I haven’t written not one thing this month and maybe that’s alright, but to me I just felt like What is going on there!? Today however, I feel a little bit inspired to write so I shall take whatever this inspiration is and do my best to just go with it! It feels good to write something that I can share after a long while….

Now before we continue on, I just want to say that I have been writing this month, I just haven’t written anything to share, my writing have been more personal based these days, I guess that’s just where I’m at currently, which I know isn’t a bad thing, but still I have been wanting to share something and I guess that’s where this post comes in! As you can see I’ve titled this post levels of growth, why exactly? That’s a good question, let’s just say it was something that felt right to title here…..growth is a significant thing that we all experience in our lifetime constantly, be it a small growth or a really big way of transforming…sometimes we can see it pretty clear and sometimes we don’t always know when the next transformation will be….we can sense it and feel it coming, but we don’t always know, but that’s the beauty of it yeah!?

Life has many ways of challenging you, as well putting you in a postition of what you feel to be the best way to grow and trive, but it doesn’t mean that it’s entirely easy…..it can be as simple as choosing your favorite game to play or what kind of snack you’re in the mood for, I know pretty weird seeing it that way, but what I mean by that is life is that simple most times, it’s just other things that can make it seem difficult! When you look at the word Growth on it’s own, it makes you feel something doesn’t it? You know it’s got an importantance to it, yet the word looks simple, it doesn’t really look all that intimidating when you’re just reading the word….but the feel and experience that comes with it can be quite frightening when you’re looking at it more deeply.

It’s like when admiring a flower, you wouldn’t think they’re able to harm you, but look at roses, although they’re very beautiful to look at, you got to be careful when picking them, because they hold thorns….if you look at cacti you know not to touch them because you can see all the little needles it’s got, but even with knowing that people like to have them as plants and then there’s the Aloe plant although it’s got healing abilities, it too has it’s own thorns/needles, if you really think about though, the Aloe plant kind of has an accidental proneness connected to it, I say that beacause even when it hurts you, it’s character speaks loud without actually talking and it let’s you know “Oh i’m sorry, didn’t mean to hurt you, here let me help you”

I know this is probably getting off track, I was trying to make a point where I explain how just like some flowers have a bit a gray area, so does growth, I don’t know if I tied it in nicely enough, but hopefully it makes some kind sense! Anyway back to what I was saying….we all experience growth differently and sometimes it can be hard to embrace different levels of it, due to the fact that it can require a lot of braveness, courage and strength to help unlock that next transformation that we’re needing and majority of the time, however you feel yourself growing and changing, it’s not always going to be ideal for others, even those who are close to you….

You see for some, even when you are putting it out there how much you’ve progressed and evolved, sometimes it doesn’t get taken seriously and it can get very frustrating, because although your doing your best to show and let people know who you are and who you kind of always been deep down…..it can feel like they’re not really seeing you the way you’re wanting them to and are still sorta treating you the same, even when you know you’ve grown from that point. There’s going to come a moment where you know that, even though you may not want to, you’re going to have to do something so out of character where they have no choice, but to notice and really get them to see and think to themeselves “this is not the same person that I know”

After the reactions, you will probably most definitely feel a bit of a shift following that experience and to be honest there’s probably going to be some hurt involved and that’s going to probably hurt you, but with growth, you have to be strong and brave, you have to hold that courage inside otherwise what was it for!? If you want people to start seeing YOU and taking you more seriously…..you can’t be afraid to push back! Now even if you happen to leave someone hurt….don’t see it as an automatic negative experience, growth comes in many forms and although we all like life to be smooth sailing…..it’s not always going to be like that, there will be moments where you have to choose the road that involves a bit more…..deep breathing to get through and you will have to make a choice!

We always hear, take the road less traveled and I’m starting to realize and understand that, the road less traveled gives you the most experiences and how you choose to travel through it really comes down to what you feel inside and what your inner compass/heart is leading you toward….so if you feel you want to go a specific way, but you have people telling you to do it a certain way, you have to go with your own feelings, because at the end of the day….it’s your journey, we all share life, but we all have our way of living it, so if you feel strongly about something and you want to do it…..do it…..even if it requires you to go into the unknown of it and it may upset people, we shouldn’t have to feel like we can’t do something because it’ll make someone upset!

Sometimes we can get caught up in what others are saying, that we forget we have our own voice too and we don’t have to always go by what they say, if they can’t support you in the journey you choose for yourself then you have to know that it’s not on you to make them understand, cause they’re either going to understand by you be honest and letting them know right away or by you saying I’m going to do it anyway whether you like it or not and who knows maybe you’ll get the combination which can be more challenging and if you do get them both, it just shows you got more edge to you and your a badass kind of person!

Whatever is in your heart to do, please don’t hold yourself back, growth is scary, yes, but it’s also necessary for you to grow into the person you feel yourself to be….so with all that said, I shall leave you all with a quote, one of my favorites actually ^_^

“Don’t Hold Back, For Anyone…..The Further You Go, The Prouder I’ll Be”

Ming-Turning Red

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

You Can’t Hide From Yourself….

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Let’s just get it off our chest, we’re uncomfortable…..we don’t like it and we want it to stop, buut it’s not going to is it!? As humans we always think we can escape our own uncomfortability, but the one person that you’re unable to get away from is yourself so what exactly are you doing!? You want to know why I’m uncomfortable!? Well, I’ll try to explain it in a way that, hopefully doesn’t reveal to many personal details, but to keep a long story short….I’m uncomfortable with the fact that, when I’m thinking about something that I know I want to do I will take FOREVER just to decide on it, even when I know I want to do it….

However, one thing about me that I know is my least favorite trait to my personality is…..I’m always siking myself out of things or I overthink it too much to where I already know it frustrates those around me, they don’t have to say it to me because I can feel it and by knowing that, it’ll brings me more stress and frustration because you know the reason you feel like that is due to the fact that you’re afraid to let people down, which wait for it…..adds MORE stress because you’re also fighting with yourself thinking “Why are you worrying about everyone else!?”

Asking yourself that question then just makes you want to scream because although you know why you worry, part of you just wish you didn’t worry or care so much about these things…..and all of that starts mixing together because you could never put you, nor your needs and wants first, leaving you to feel a little upset with yourself, where you’re just like “You always worry about other people and how they’re going to feel” although there’s nothing wrong with caring about others and wanting to make sure they’re going to be okay….

You as person also have to know when it’s time to say “I love you, but no” and be okay with choosing to honor yourself and the things you want to go after! That being said, we also have to live and embrace the uncomfortability of it all!! No matter what we do, we will always be uncomfortable, there’s no way of escaping it, we live to experience, we live to discover and to be amazed along with all the other emotions and feelings we go through within our journey here!

We have to be uncomfortable in order to know what we’re comfortable with, once that’s discovered, we then find and learn what our comfortablities are and how to embrace them along with the uncomfortable! It’s not something we have to necessarily like feeling, but it is something we have to accept whether we want to or not! We have to be okay with the shadow parts of ourselves…..if you really think about it, we’re practically yin and yang inside, we all have the light part of us and the dark part, if we are always leaning towards the light and pushing the dark away, we’re not really giving ourselves the chance to truly experience who we are all the way around…..which isn’t fair!

Just because something is dark doesn’t mean that there isn’t any goodness to it! I may have said this before already, but we all know how diamonds are formed, they go through a lot of pressure before turning into something beautiful!! Amethyst forms from volcantic lava and pearls can be found within oysters, before stones become stones they have to go through some kind of dark experience themselves before we get to see the true beauty of them…..it’s never easy when you feel like every wall is caving in on you or where things are just not going well whatsoever, BUT it’s important to be aware that, all of it is necessary and instead of seeing it as a negative experience automatically, we have to understand that, it happens because we’re evolving and we need it in order for our growth to thrive and for us to continue to be the best versions of ourselves that we already are wheher we see it or not!

We can’t have the good without the bad, even if we prefer it better, the more we try to resist the uncomfortable the more worst and uncomfortable it’s going to get, so allow it, accept it and be okay with it, you don’t have to love it, but honestly who loves being uncomfortable!? Allow the transformation that you’re going to be experiencing to unfold and happen and be amazed at what you see!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Changes and Transformations….

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Good Morning, hope that you all have been well these days! We’re now a week into the month of March for many out there, a lot has probably happened already be it big or something small that you’ve been also looking forward too and for others March might still feel like you’re just getting started and that’s perfectly okay! We all have a specific pace that we start with, things could be going really fast and quick for a lot of you, while for some March could be catching you by surprise where things start feeling a bit unexpected, in a sense where, you may find yourself more busy then usual or in other ways where you may not normally be used to if that makes sense!?

Yesterday I found myself deep in thought about a lot of things, I was out for most of the day so it was a bit productive, however I wasn’t really in a talkive mood, I mean don’t get me wrong I did speak a bit, but I wasn’t in my usual talkive state that I normally am….a lot of the time when that happens, it’s because I just have a lot on my mind and it gets to the point where I don’t really want to talk…..in those moments talking for me becomes a bit of chore to deal with so I like to say as little as I can if I’m able to! I started to become a bit more chatty during the evening though, but it still took me a while!

I guess it’s just my way of processing my own thoughts and dealing with them in some way, I normally try and distract myself when I start getting really into my own mind, but I also know when I need to allow my thoughts to be what it is they are and not push them aside, by doing that it’s only going to come at you harder so you want to make sure that your being considerate with yourself in those times of deep thinking…..yesterday I had a thought to myself regarding my surroundings, but involving how everything’s changed!

All the places that I once knew and saw growing up, most of them are all different now, building that, were once there are no longer around and if they are, they’ve changed so much to where you don’t really recongize them, it’s kind of like seeing a time lapse of what you used to know recontructed right before your eyes, but you’re seeing the transformation of what it was then, to what it is now and seeing that, seeing all the places that you’ve grown up with change and look completely new to what you used to see, it really hits you just how much things really transform an old shop that you may have gone to a lot when you were a kid, is either no longer there or isn’t quite the same as you once remembered it!

It’s a mind blowing experience because even though you know it’s different, there something in you that feels like you still need a bit of time to process it fully, yet you never really get the chance to, due to the fact that it’s already changed and transformed so much that you don’t get much room to feel it entirely the way you want. It’s the same with people, although they have certain things with them that stayed the same, you already know that they too have transformed and are a lot different to what you remember them to be, but be it so,

There’s always that part of you that hopes that the relationship that you had with them and the bond that you once shared didn’t change and a lot of the time you find it did, but you do get those one of kind moments where even though you and that person have grown and seen things in a more….I guess you can say mature perspective to how you used to see things….even though all that’s happened, you find that it’s easy for you to just come back together as if nothings changed at all and just pick up where you left off….with those moments though it can feel a bit nervewracking and scary, it’s like meeting someone that you already know for the first time all over again….and it’s not something you would normally think to get nervous about, but you do because you know it’s different!!

You start feeling like you have to prepare yourself again and get ready for it, it’s like a new journey and adventure that you know, but don’t know at the same time so you’re kind of just hoping for the best and for things to turn out okay, it’ll sometimes even leave you wondering if they still feel the same about you even if you know they do, you still can’t help, but have those thoughts in mind that, now that doesn’t neccasarily mean it’s a bad thing, it’s just curious wonders! That being said, you won’t really know unless you put yourself out there to feel those things and be okay with feeling them, I like to think they’re normal, it just simply shows how much you really truly and deeply care as well as how much that person still means to you!!

Fear or no fear, changes and transforamtions will always happen, even if you don’t really get the chance to take it in the way you want or you find you aren’t able to really prepare, it’s okay….I guess the best way to look at it is to just give it a go anyway when it involves a new experience, but if it involves a change that you have no control of, like seeing a place you once knew when you were younger in a whole new way, you kind of just have to adapt the best way you can with it, keep those memories close to you always and whatever connection you made with it…..just know that it will always be with you, never be afraid of changes and don’t be afraid of transforming the way you feel you are wanting to, it’s all part of living life so try not to hold yourself back from experiencing all that you want to experience at the end of the day you gotta do what makes you happy!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Do What You Like, Be Free To Be Whatever!

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

This is probably one of the most cheesiest titles you’ve read or maybe not….if I’m being honest this title is a combination of two different lyrics from two different songs, both favorites of mine and by two artists that I admire! The first part of the title come from the song Living In Colour by non other than my all time favorite artist Alexz Johnson while the other part, kind of comes from the song No Regrets by an artist named Dappy at least it’s inspired by it anyway….I don’t know how many people know of either artist, but Alexz Johnson has always been one of my favorites since the moment I saw her show Instant Star, it was then I knew I found an artist I was going to listen to forever!

As for Dappy, I was introduced to his music by my partner whose a really big fan of his, the first song he ever had me listen to by Dappy was called Money Can’t Buy, it’s a love song of course, but it’s an amazing song and one of my other favorites!! Now Dappy isn’t just a singer he also raps too and comes from the UK, he also had this group called N-Dubs which had him, his cousin Tulisa and a friend of his I believe named Fazer who happens to rap as well! Now I’m not here to talk about these two artists, although they are great and their music is always a pleasure to listen to, I just wanted to explain the title name…..however I should point out that the actual lyrics to Dappy’s No Regrets is “I’m Free To Be Whatever I….”following a few bar flows after those lyrics!

What I really wanted to talk about is what I mean with the title I have there, well I will do my best to explain it at least! Now to me, both these lyrics have an encouragement feel to them, “Do what you like” by Alexz Johnson meaning “go for it” while the actual lyrics to Dappy’s song No Regrets ” I’m free to be whatever I…” that one goes more on the fact of having that freedom to do, well going back to the first song, pretty much whatever you like, being whoever it is you choose to be and allowing yourself to have the confidence to say “this is my life and I will decide how I want to live it” it’s letting you know to go after anything you believe in and are truly wanting without those regrets in the back of your mind, where you’re asking yourself “what if”

Keeping the what if’s in your head will always make you feel like, you have to just go with what’s there, but life isn’t about being okay with that, you have to be okay with change no matter how scary it is…..you don’t want to sit back and think to yourself “I didn’t, I should’ve, maybe” We always hear how short life is and the thing with it is, we think because we are still here doing the things we’re doing and getting to certain ages that it’s not really short, but it actually is….because you can walk past someone and that day their fine, but when you go to see them again….something is different and then next thing you know….you’re no longer seeing them!!

It’s a frightening scary thing and it’s something I don’t like to think about, but when you really look at it, it really does say a lot….we’re always worrying about everything, but that’s because we’re feeling things that we don’t even understand sometimes…..but it comes with the experience of life, but life is also meant to be experienced, you’re meant to be inspired, to be entertained and say “woah I’ve never seen that before or let alone known that it could exist” You’re meant to explore and feel different things, in different ways then imagined!!

There’s a lot of fear that is hard to shake within us, I have a few fears myself and one of them used to be change, I didn’t like things changing, I liked being safe and comfortable, I always thought that I wanted everything to stay the same, until eventually I witness change happening around me, forcing me to become uncomfortable and really see things differently and before I knew it…..I started to change and I saw how me changing and wanting different started to effect people around me!

I was always a certain way and when I stopped being that certain way and being vocal about it….it wasn’t well received, but I knew that it needed to happen because had it not happened, I would’ve still been in that situation…..the older I get the more I’m realizing how important it is to really go after what it is you want and not be afraid or feel bad for wanting those things, we’re allowed to want things, we’re allowed to say “hey this is what I’m doing, it’s okay that you don’t agree or like it, but I’m doing it anyway” it may be a scary thing to do, but it’s better to be brave and do it while shaking the nerves away, then to not do it and stress yourself out about it and how you should’ve done it….it’s okay to take that breath if needed, but if you find yourself feeling something like this lately then you may just want to consider some of these words

You don’t necessarily have to, but if you know there’s something in your heart that you would like to do and have been thinking about for a while, it really doesn’t hurt to give it a go and try, the only thing that will happen is that you’ll find yourself growing more and possibly enjoying yourself as you experience that new thing that is speaking to you!

That’s all I want to say, hope you all have a good rest of the day, stay safe and take care!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

I Don’t Know If You Know This, But Christmas Is Literally Next Week!!?

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Happy Holidays!!

It was yesterday that I came to the realization that we’re only 1 week away from Christmas…..1 WEEK!! I don’t know why December feels like it both just started and has more days to it then normal!? At least this year, am I the only one that feels that way? Possibly…..maybe…..I guess part of me isn’t ready to start 2022 yet, although I also am because I’m hoping for this upcoming year that is 2022 to have some kind of big change that ends up good and more than I could ever hope for!

Not saying I can’t make something big happen myself although when it comes to trying to make big things happen it can be kind of intimidating because who knows if it’ll be really big or something that feels big, but is actually just small, you know what I mean!? Not that there’s anything wrong with having something feel big, but is actually small in comparison to what you may have had in mind…..what I’m trying to say is I just would like 2022 to be the year that everything falls in to place, however way it may land or choose to land!

To be able to make up our minds about certain things that we may have wanted to do for a very good while now, but somewhere deep down we’re still afraid to do anything about it, finally choosing a direction to go in and sticking with it because it something we truly believe in and truly see it to be the better thing for us in the end or because we know we’re really interested and happy doing those things we love!

Not wanting to regret a single thing that comes next and just allowing ourselves to just go for those things, not wanting to be afraid and feeling like we soon won’t have a choice because we already made the choice, even if it feels wrong at first, but really just turns out to be something we were actually looking for and wishing to happen or maybe even weren’t looking for…..

Don’t you just want to be able to get up in the morning and always know you have something to look forward to, wake up knowing you’re where you’re truly meant to be!? Where you have always wanted to be despite the fears and doubts that constantly float around in your head? Don’t you want to be happy? Maybe you’ve really been wishing to be near that special someone for quite sometime and at the moment you haven’t really been able to see that person, but you know you’re wanting so bad to have them close by without always having that thought of I wish they were…..

maybe there’s something you’ve had your heart set out to finally pick up a new hobby or creative spark, but have been feeling a little low on energy or not feeling it to be the best time, due to being overly busy or just because you really haven’t had time to get around to it! If there’s anything I would like to come from 2022 that I can honestly say would make it if not the best year, but where I would consider it the best year overall, is to uncover a new found creative spark where I can have endless amount of creativity where I’m left happy everyday and to finally reunite and have my guy by me always….

Those two thing…..would make 2022 an automatic favorite, everything else that follows and comes with the year will be bonuses, but if I had to really say what I would like to come from this upcoming year it would be unlimited amount of creativity and reuniting with my love….if I were to add some other things in there…..I would say…..more adventures, letting go any fears and uncertainties, new transformations…..I guess I would just be open to anything that I have yet to discover! 2021 has been rough…..there’s been some new things, but there’s also been a few postpones, which I know happens sometimes it’s for the best and maybe you find you need a bit more time to sort things out properly!

I think we’re all in need for 2022 to be that sense of fresh air that we haven’t had in a while, be that start of something new and different to what we already know, a new kind of adventure that we know is calling to us, but are having trouble answering and letting in because we don’t know what will come of it…..that’s how I’ve been feeling these days I guess….and it’s the first time in a very long while that I’m sharing my own personal thoughts where I don’t feel like I have to figure my words out….this is just what I feel, what I have been feeling, but didn’t come around to truly knowing how to express these thoughts until now!

I guess winter really is the best time to reflect on all that we’ve kept bottled in…..2021 had it’s best and not so great moments and the realization that it’s practically over is really….something, we only have Christmas and then we’re off to a new year, so if you have any last minute reflection to do…..definitely think about them, ask yourself what it is you want to happen for this upcoming year, leave the fear to the side, the worries and try to just look for the road and if you can’t find it…..let your heart and intuition guide you to what feels right and when you do…..keep following it even if you are scared, you will always get to where you need to, you just have to be willing to take that leap and trust that where you land is going to be safe and lead you to where you’re meant to be!

Safe travels wherever you go, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

So We’ve Entered December….

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

We’re now on the second day of December and let me tell you….it’s one of them chaotic days, you know the stressed out, everything is everywhere and all you want to do is close your eyes and take a nap and just listen to the silence around you, yeah that kind of day! It sorta slowed down a bit as I’m writing this, but earlier, there was a lot going on.

I can’t believe we’re nearing the end of the year, talk about 2021 flying by yeah!? It doesn’t help that it’s around the holidays too, I mean the holidays are ALWAYS busy with everyone doing late Christmas shopping trying to get everything done all at once and probably driving themselves mad to be fair with how hectic it gets around this time of year, I mean it never fails, but we just learn to accept it as it is!

Last week when we we’re still in the month of November, even though it ended two days ago….still, when I tell you last week was busy….it was busy….everything was happening within that whole week, Thanksgiving/my nephews birthday as well as his party after his birthday, there was just a lot of events in one day and hey you would think after it was over that you’d be able to relax somewhat, but noo, not quite!!

Now we’re in a whole new month and the years practically over…..and Christmas is making it’s way towards us, I mean it’s a couple weeks away, but if you really think about it, it’s already here, It was here once November started and once Halloween left the building…..I can’t really say what this years been like is that weird to say!? Some people might be able to talk about all that’s happened with them and everything they’ve been up to and what they’re planning on doing for the upcoming year…..however I feel like it’s still a bit uncertain just what will come for the new year….as far as what this years been like, well…..a lot of different things happened, some slightly big, some not that big!

I had a few new experiences, nothing too dramatic though, but they were still nice ones nonetheless! I did have some plans that didn’t quite go accordingly, but that’s okay, a lot of the time, things work out better when they aren’t planned, but just because, plans don’t happen in the time you want them too, doesn’t mean it won’t happen later down the line, everything happens for a reason, if it’s meant to happen it will always find a way and I will always believe that to be true, so…..if plans fell short for some of you out there this year, don’t give up on them, maybe those plans will transform into something completely different then what you might have initially thought and will end up surprising you in a way that you have yet to imagine!

Other than that, it’s been quite the year, full of many ups and downs and whirlwinds galore, 2021 has brought a lot of mixed feelings for everyone, including myself, but there’s still time to make the most of the year with these next few weeks of December, if it’s been tough, just keep doing your best and have faith that it’ll turn around soon enough! Sorry if this post is a short one…..kind of dealing with a headache at the moment, just a mild one though, plus I’ve been a bit low on energy, but I wanted to try and write something for today!

I hope that you all have been having a good day and week, take care, stay safe and happy holidays!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Bonding & Just Being Together….

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

You know what I love!? The show that is The Masked Singer, now before I continue, I just want to say that this post was going to be all about The Masked Singer and how great it is in my words, but then I started writing and I felt it change into a different topic as I continued soo it’s not just going to be about the Masked Singer…..it might end up being a little deeper than that….maybe, we’ll see where it goes…..back to part of the Masked Singer, like I said I love that show, I can’t even tell you how much I love it!

It’s such a cool and interesting concept to sometimes wrap your head around, but you love anyway! It’s obviously a singing show, but with a more unexpected twist to it and it’s just beautiful!! I always watch the show with my mom, we both enjoy it and I won’t watch it without her! I do that with everyone though, if I start a show with someone or I know there’s a specific movie that I like, but is also a favorite to someone close to me, it’s not just a regular movie or show anymore, it turns into a tradition shared with someone you love and means a lot to you!

For example featuring a confession time:

I won’t watch the movie Grease or watch the show Jane The Virgin without my guy/partner I can’t do it! Especially Grease like even clips of Grease moments or hearing some of the songs is a no go, well I can hear the songs now a bit…..I have two of them on both my Spotify and regular phone music, but when I’m missing him loads…..it’s really hard to hear them! I have the movie and I love the movie, it’s one of my favorites…..but I won’t watch it without him at all, because it’s our movie so yeah lol!

Anytime I think of watching something that was shared with somebody, I won’t watch it and the same goes with specific songs too…..if a song reminds me of someone, it can be hard to listen to at times, not always, but there are moments that I’ve had where a song that I love or enjoy has played and I quickly change it because it reminded me of someone! There are songs that I do let play even if it reminds me of a specific person, it really depends though on the song and what memory comes with it!

It might be a weird thing to not want to watch or listen to something because someone specific isn’t around to watch it with you or because you get a moment in time that plays out when hearing a specific song that has you thinking of that person, but I don’t see it like that! The way I see it, if you are watching something with someone else, listening to a song that gives you those fond memories or just doing something in general with that person…..you are sharing something and being open and inviting to want to have that experience with just that person and no one else…..it’s a bonding experience as well as being/spending together and enjoying this special thing at the same time!

We can enjoy these things by ourselves of course, but there’s just something about having that special bond with someone and both of you just happy to share those moments together! That’s a different experience, different feeling in itself and again it may be weird to some people and it might get seen as corny, don’t ask me why I chose to say that word, it was the first one that came to mind…but I don’t care because I love those moments where it’s shared with someone close to you and you see the other person enjoying it the same way you are!

My favorite is when you’re showing someone something they haven’t watched/listened to or maybe haven’t experienced yet and as they are learning about it for the first time, you’re there looking for their reaction to see if they’re liking it or not (hopefully I used all that correct) I don’t know how to explain it, but those first time moments are one of the best, because you’re getting the most honest reactions that you’re only going to see once! 9/10 most of the things that you like, isn’t always going to be something someone else likes…..

When that happens you have to learn to accept people not having the same interest as you, cause in reality it’s going to happen…..however there will be times where you both are showing interests into something and you find out that you both either really like it or you hate it! One of you may even enjoy it more while the other isn’t for it as much!

It’s the process of the thing, trial and error, but at the same time you learn something new with it and you grow to know someone as well with what they like and don’t like! It’s nothing personal if someone doesn’t enjoy the same things you do same goes vice versa, at the end of the day, it’s all about being together and being open to giving these moments a try even if it’s not your best cup of joe or tea! What’s important is the experience as well as bonding and enjoying each other’s company!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

The Journey Of Learning & Growing….

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

One of the best things to witness is watching someone grow and evolve, be it a child, someone that you saw go through a very tough point in their life or even just you yourself, there’s no age limit when it comes to learning and growing…..you could be in your 50s and you may already know a whole lot, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still learn something new let alone won’t learn something new, there’s so much to life that will always leave us surprised even when you think you’ve seen it all already!

I’ve witness a few transformations, a lot of them may not be fully, but I’ve seen a few and the ones I have seen, still amaze me and sometimes I find myself thinking about those transformations, I’ve watched my boyfriend come out of something that he struggled with for a while, not necessarily in person, but just the aftermath of what happened in his life in that time, it’s how we met, he was just starting to get back to himself again! I’ve seen my nephew who I consider my nephew, I first met him when he was 3, so I’ve only known him for a year now pretty much and I remember how he’d never wanted to listen to anyone, you know usual kid stuff, his favorite word was always NO and you couldn’t tell him anything, without him crying and throwing tantrums and wanting everything to be his way

and then you have his mom who worked all the time and when it came to trying to stop him from having those tantrums it was hard for her to put her foot down with him, obviously no parent wants to yell at their child, any good parent anyway, it’s hard because you try to be a parent, but you also don’t want to be a parent in a sense of when your child starts throwing those tantrums and they aren’t listening to you, you don’t want to have to punish them for it, because all you want is for them to see you in the best light possible and when you come to those moments to where you know there needs to be rules……it can be hard, but sometimes you know you have to do it!

But back to what I was talking about…..all three people here have gone through big transformations and you wouldn’t believe it if I told you, my boyfriend one of the biggest transformation I’ve ever seen and also haven’t seen, but if you knew him when I met him and you were to see and learn about everything he endured, you’d be extremely surprised, it still surprises me when I think about it sometimes, just to see and learn the difference in the person that he once was to who he is now, like I wouldn’t know where to begin on that story, hopefully I’ll be able to really tell it or have him tell it one day, I mean it is story about his journey anyway and it really is a beautiful and life changing one at that! I’m very proud of how far he’s gotten, I love you Jord, forever and always!

As for my Nephew…..he’s 4 now, but will be turning 5 in November and let me tell you something, he is one hell of a smart kid, seriously and he’s gotten a lot better at really trying to understand everything, he doesn’t give you too much of a issue now when you are telling him not to do something or you’re trying to help him learn certain things, he actually listens expressing something to him which I’m glad to see, it was a mission and a half when I first met him, he talks a whole lot more now, like a lot, he wouldn’t really say much before, he was just always shy and wouldn’t come up to you, he’d just be in his own little world, now forget about it!! He will talk to you for hours if he really wanted to, he’s quite the character, very silly, but he’s the sweetest boy every, he’s very kind, he likes making people laugh and just showing you things all the time, buut don’t let his adorableness fool, he knows what he’s doing!

He’s a little demon and I say it all the time to him, which he knows too because he always laughs about it! He knows how to get what he wants, however he knows who to go for when he wants something, spoiler it’s not me, he knows better than to pull anything with me, like I said he’s a smart one, I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned out to be an evil genius, I’m joking, he’s a good kid when he wants to be, but he’s also grown to know better and I just hope that continues the older he gets!

Lastly, we come to my Nephew’s mom who has also transformed a lot from when I met her, she’s kind of hard to explain with her transformation though, but I’ll do my best, when I first started coming around and hanging out with her, she was always working, but she worked from home, so she always tried her best to balance out work and her son and when I was hanging out with her as she was working, I would notice a lot that she was having to do, when it came to her son like I said earlier it was hard for her to put her foot down with him at first, because she didn’t like having to be that….not strict parent, cause she’s really not that strict, but he’d would get babied a lot before, he still does, but it’s not so much from his mom these days, but the grandparents…..you know how that goes!

It was hard for her to tell him when he was doing something wrong and when it came to punishment so that he learns that he can’t do certain things, with work she was always stressing, she dealt with a lot….I guess the only way I can say it is her transformation comes from how she’s grown as a parent from when I met her and what I know her to be now as well as how certain parts of her personality has changed and grown, she’d always wanted to please everyone even when she didn’t want to do whatever it was that she didn’t want to do, she’s showing more of her voice with people,

Which is good and she would always feel like nothing was going her way, but now everything is now working for her which is great, in terms of her son, she’s learn to put her foot down with him more and not let him try and control her and what I love about that is, I feel since then, both her and her son have gotten more closer and it’s a beautiful things to see, because you can tell she loves her son and only wants the best for him and that’s how parent should be and he loves her which is also wonderful! I’ve witness what she had to go through before and I’m so proud of her for how far she’s come even if she doesn’t know it, she’s an amazing mom and an amazing person, as well as a really good friend and I’m glad that I got to know her and continue to get to know her, fun fact, we’ve crossed paths before me and her a few time even, but we never actually encountered one another face to face just always by a pass by, it wasn’t until she started dating my brother to where we finally met, I guess you can call it a small word!

The three people I just spoke about all mean something to me and I’m glad to know them and have them apart of my life, I’m glad that I’ve been able to experience the transformations they’ve gone through, they all have taught me a lot of things as well as important lessons and are still teaching me a lot even if they don’t know it necessarily, but I wouldn’t trade them and all that they’ve taught me for the world and if ever down the line our journey’s together were to take different paths or transform in some kind of way to where I still have them in my life, I’m always going to take what they’ve given me and do my best to make sure I never forget it!

F.Y.I. I didn’t expect to write all of this, the way I did, I just felt very strongly to write this for some reason so I did, call it a moment of a thought in time!!

P.S.

By the way, I’ve switched up my podcast episode schedule just for this week, so instead of Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I’m doing Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday (I’m going to try for Saturday anyway) again just for this week, I just felt like switching things up a a bit! You can check out yesterday’s episode here:

All The Love ❤ ❤ ❤

Lexa

Zoo Adventures (Giraffe’s, Stingrays and a Dog!?)

On By Daydreamer LexIn Entries, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Good Evening, hope everyone is doing well, I know in my last post I said I was going to be out a while, but I also said that I would write when I was feeling inspired as well and today I was feeling a bit inspired, now I’m not sure how long this post will be, but I just wanted to share on an experience that I had today, I’m writing this post on Sunday by the way, not sure if I’m going to be posting this right away, but I figured I still write about what I have in mind of sharing!

So I went to a zoo today, not the first time I’ve been to one, but I did do a few new things that I haven’t done before, I went with my friend/sister in law and her 4 year old son (my nephew) and it was a good time, it wasn’t too hot, which was nice after this very long of a heatwave week, it was nice and cool today even though it was pretty cloudy, but it wasn’t that bad, it was good!

I fed a giraffe which was kind of interesting, I’ve never fed a giraffe before so it was a nice experience, I tend to forget just how big giraffe’s are, like I know they’re pretty tall and everything, but when you haven’t seen one for a while you tend to forget just how tall they actually are and being in front of one today, giving it lettuce to eat….it was kind a very cool experience, I liked it! We also saw two males trying to out dominate each other…..one thing I will never understand is why giraffe’s insist on hitting each other with their long necks!? They weren’t going at it too bad, but just seeing them smack each other just to see who was the strongest…..it’s like why, but I guess that’s how it is in the animal world, it’s an odd and sometimes scary thing to see, but luckily it didn’t go too far, they were still small giraffes anyway!

I also got to feed birds for the first time, they were like little parrots or parakeets, I’m not really sure on the bird species, I wasn’t looking at the signs there, but I think they were like parakeets or something, I had one bird just sit on the stick with the bird food on it and just go to town, never had that happened before, but it was nice, we were with the birds for a good while, my nephew was trying to get the birds to come to him eventually he had a few near him, getting to feed them and everything! We went into a butterfly exhibit as well, it was nice, I’ve never been in one before, we also got to feed some goats…they’re very greedy, but also cute in their own way!

We saw some reptiles, monkeys, one monkey was loving the little playground they had and was moving on the obstacle course, he went down the slide, he was just having a great time, it was good to see! Oh get this a dog and a cheetah in the same exhibit!? Not even kidding, we were heading to go where the ponies were, my nephew wanted to ride one and as we were walking, we stopped to see a cheetah taking a nap and I noticed across from the cheetah their was a dog, like an actual Labrador retriever dog…..at first I was a little concern wondering how the dog got in there,

but I soon learned that both the Cheetah and dog were best friends and that they were raised together, plus they were only born a week apart! That’s the most adorable and cutest thing ever, never would I have guessed a dog and cheetah to be best friends and to see them in the same place, it was soo awesome!! We saw some pigs as well, I got to pet a stingray….it was odd and slimy, but pretty nice, stingrays are kind cute I won’t lie, one stingray loved getting petted he kept going around the same place just so people would acknowledge him lol! There was a lot of different animals that we saw while at the zoo, we also went on a little trolley train ride, it was pretty short, but it was mainly for the kids to enjoy so I guess it was okay, my nephew kept calling it Thomas the Train…..

Yeah he’s in that phase where everything train wise is Thomas or the other trains in that show that he knows, he’s a weird and sometimes scary kid, I say that for a reason, but I do love him, he’s a funny one! But yeah, it was good day, got to see a lot of things and experience new stuff too and see cute animals, we didn’t get to see them all, but we saw a good amount which was good!

P.S.

We got to see some turtles too, some were huge then you had the sea turtles, one of my favorite kind of turtles might I add!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa