Let’s just get it off our chest, we’re uncomfortable…..we don’t like it and we want it to stop, buut it’s not going to is it!? As humans we always think we can escape our own uncomfortability, but the one person that you’re unable to get away from is yourself so what exactly are you doing!? You want to know why I’m uncomfortable!? Well, I’ll try to explain it in a way that, hopefully doesn’t reveal to many personal details, but to keep a long story short….I’m uncomfortable with the fact that, when I’m thinking about something that I know I want to do I will take FOREVER just to decide on it, even when I know I want to do it….
However, one thing about me that I know is my least favorite trait to my personality is…..I’m always siking myself out of things or I overthink it too much to where I already know it frustrates those around me, they don’t have to say it to me because I can feel it and by knowing that, it’ll brings me more stress and frustration because you know the reason you feel like that is due to the fact that you’re afraid to let people down, which wait for it…..adds MORE stress because you’re also fighting with yourself thinking “Why are you worrying about everyone else!?”
Asking yourself that question then just makes you want to scream because although you know why you worry, part of you just wish you didn’t worry or care so much about these things…..and all of that starts mixing together because you could never put you, nor your needs and wants first, leaving you to feel a little upset with yourself, where you’re just like “You always worry about other people and how they’re going to feel” although there’s nothing wrong with caring about others and wanting to make sure they’re going to be okay….
You as person also have to know when it’s time to say “I love you, but no” and be okay with choosing to honor yourself and the things you want to go after! That being said, we also have to live and embrace the uncomfortability of it all!! No matter what we do, we will always be uncomfortable, there’s no way of escaping it, we live to experience, we live to discover and to be amazed along with all the other emotions and feelings we go through within our journey here!
We have to be uncomfortable in order to know what we’re comfortable with, once that’s discovered, we then find and learn what our comfortablities are and how to embrace them along with the uncomfortable! It’s not something we have to necessarily like feeling, but it is something we have to accept whether we want to or not! We have to be okay with the shadow parts of ourselves…..if you really think about it, we’re practically yin and yang inside, we all have the light part of us and the dark part, if we are always leaning towards the light and pushing the dark away, we’re not really giving ourselves the chance to truly experience who we are all the way around…..which isn’t fair!
Just because something is dark doesn’t mean that there isn’t any goodness to it! I may have said this before already, but we all know how diamonds are formed, they go through a lot of pressure before turning into something beautiful!! Amethyst forms from volcantic lava and pearls can be found within oysters, before stones become stones they have to go through some kind of dark experience themselves before we get to see the true beauty of them…..it’s never easy when you feel like every wall is caving in on you or where things are just not going well whatsoever, BUT it’s important to be aware that, all of it is necessary and instead of seeing it as a negative experience automatically, we have to understand that, it happens because we’re evolving and we need it in order for our growth to thrive and for us to continue to be the best versions of ourselves that we already are wheher we see it or not!
We can’t have the good without the bad, even if we prefer it better, the more we try to resist the uncomfortable the more worst and uncomfortable it’s going to get, so allow it, accept it and be okay with it, you don’t have to love it, but honestly who loves being uncomfortable!? Allow the transformation that you’re going to be experiencing to unfold and happen and be amazed at what you see!!
I’ve been having a lot of weird dreams lately these past few days, some of them feel a bit like nightmares with the nightmare feeling, some leave me so confused that I don’t even know how to word them when I try to look into them and the rest is just very hard to think about. I know people don’t really talk too much about dreams because maybe it’s a weird topic or you just can’t remember and if you do remember them, most people don’t really care to look into them, you’ll just say “well that was weird!?” and just go about the rest of your day!
I’m the kind of person where if I have a dream and I remember it vidly enough….I will look into it and even if I can’t quite remember it, but I feel like I did have a dream….I will sit there and try my best to remember it so I can try and figure out it’s meaning…..I know a lot of the time, my dreams do tell me things, it’s just trying to decipher what exactly those things are…..now some dreams have a way of projecting fear, even when you think you’ve put it in the back of your mind….just because you put it there, does not mean that it won’t show up in other ways and what I mean by that is a lot of what we feel and think stores itself within our subconcious minds when certain things haven’t quite been resolved!
Sometimes it’ll just be there when we’re wanting to remember a specific thing, other times it’ll just show us all the things we have yet to look at, people are always wondering why exactly we dream and it’s such an unclear question that not even scientists are able to give an actual fact to the reason of it, they can come up with different theories about it, but it’ll always be a question that’s up in the air!
I like to think that the reason for our dreams is it tells us what we need to know, but also what we may already know, it sounds a bit weird I know, but it does make sense, plus I feel you get more out of dreams then you may just trying to process thoughts and feelings in your waking state, we may try and decompress and relax, but whatever we have yet to get out of heads will always stay in our subconcious minds and a 9/10 of the time, those things will make their way into our dreams in many different shapes, forms, scenary….any way it sees fit that will allow us to really understand what it’s trying to tell us.
Even the people that show up in our dreams, sometimes they will just be there to act as filler, but most times they may even act as dream guides/regular guides to help us navigate easier when getting back into our waking lives, sometimes they may show up as a mentor or just a messager of some sort for you whenever you find yourself faced with a challenge or when you’re needing a little bit of help with a problem you’ve been having lately! We dream when we’ve not looked at something clearly, dreams form when there’s something we need to pay attention to, I’m sure there’s a lot of you out there wondering why you’ve been having the same dream non stop, if that is the case and you have been finding yourself dreaming of the same things for the past 3 days,
That’s a clear sign that there’s something in your waking life that needs your attention, it’s like going on an adventure or playing some kind of puzzle related game where you’re having to really think of what the next move is, where should the next piece of the puzzle go or observing around until you eventually find the hidden object that you’re having to look for! Sometimes it can be very confusing and overwhelming because when you think you’ve figured it out, there’s a whole new area that gets unlocked and now you’re having to figure that out…..I’ve had dreams tell me something ahead of time and then later have those things happen…..it’s not a constant thing, but it does happen sometimes and after I’ve seen them,
I think to myself “That’s what the dream was telling me” at the time I’d be very confused about why I had those dreams, whenever I do come across dreams like that though, I always wonder to myself if whether I should speak on them or just let them play out, a lot of the time I let them play out, but I also think “had I said something before on the message about this dream/situation, would it have changed the way everything is now!?”
Sometimes I feel like maybe yes, while other times I feel like it would’ve turned out the same either way, so I leave it alone…..dreams can tell you a lot of what may be going on all while giving you a few solutions to it, but only if you’re really paying attention, if you’re not there’s a chance you’ll miss a lot of things, sometimes it’s the small things within a dream that helps to unlock the bigger things that you may have an a problem with at first, but then just like magic it’s resolved!!
I know this is a bit of a weird post, but I just kind of felt I should write it, hope you all have a good rest of the day!
It seems like a fairly easy thing to do yeah!? Yet somehow you find it’s not actually quite that simple, see the way I see organization is to list everything that I have in mind to do and then pick the one that I want to do most throughout the list, not the most efficient way to do things and really get the most out of the day, but honestly that’s the truth to how I tend to organize myself.
I’m usually someone who wings a lot of things, I’ve said this before and I’ll most likely keep saying it until I’m blue in the face or until I eventually sort it out, but planning is just a very hard thing for me and it’s not that I don’t want to plan anything, but the concept in my mind as simple as it may be….I just find it quite challenging! Whether I’m trying to work out the day or really think of a solution to something that is very important and needs sorting…..I don’t plan the way most people plan and if I’m being completely honest here, I’m not the greatest decision maker, I always do my best to make decisions, but I know that it’s one of my things that’s still being worked on!
I have gotten better, I mean if you met me before, not that many of you have met me now and I mean actually met me, but I was a lot worst at making decisions then compared to now and speaking of that, really looking at it now…..I have gotten better with it through time, at least I feel I have anyway, is it something I’ve mastered…..no, not at all….am I better at it completely? For the most part yes, but it’s still a work in progress and that’s something I can say I’m not afraid to admit! I normally would use this kind of post as a positive way of explanation and by that I mean doing my best to help you “Organize the day” with by giving some pointers if you want to call it that if it’s something you too are having trouble with, but I thought instead of doing that,
I’d tell you how shit I am at planning things, I mean I don’t even know what to do whenever my birthday rolls around sooo there’s that! However, I’m not going to call it a weakness of mine at least me now won’t, we all have things that are a little more challenging to us then what it’s like to others, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t still improve on the things we’re finding ourselves getting a bit lost in, because the way I see it is….
There’s different types of planning, you may not be the best at planning parties or any kind of social gatherings, but there may be something within you that you’re either not aware of or that you feel doesn’t count and you’re just doing whatever it is you’re doing, but you’ll find that other people have taken notice of how well you do a certain thing and how well you’re able to lay it out without realizing, for you it’s a natural thing….however for others, it’s something they would’ve never thought of! We all have our own way of figuring out what goes where and how to set it out properly, it may take a while for some, while others might get it like “snap” that!
Some of us may need to explore and see what we’re working with in order for us to gain some kind of solution and really understand, so that we have the knowledge or at least a little bit of it, to move forward in confidence with whatever the next part is! It’s like video games….hear me out…..when we’re playing a video game for the first time without knowing anything about it….what is that we do?…..we explore our surroundings and see if we can get information in some way about the objective at foot.
Now most of us will look into every nook and cranny (ha) continuing sorry not sorry…..until we’ve found something new, there are games that have specific goals that need checking off, while others will let you explore without any prior knowledge about what’s actually meant to be going on, yes you have your story with it, but it’s up to you to unfold what’s ahead of the game all while trying to understand what message it’s trying to convey!
Now how you choose your gameplay to be when exploring and discovering, will help to give you the idea and answers you’re looking for! It’s pretty much stuff like that….I don’t mean with real life situations, although you do have those random occasions where you can use video games and life in the same sentence, but I’m just speaking on the planning and decision making aspect of it, it’s not always that way, but it can help to possibly understand better and use what you get from it in someway or form!
I know that it’s been quite some time, but I recently recorded a new episode on my podcast, it’s the first episode back since my last episode as well as the first episode of 2022….now it’s not what I originally wanted to return with, but I felt it would’ve been a bit odd to record a new episode on something I enjoyed knowing I hadn’t recorded in 2 months…..plus I wasn’t really feeling quite energetic today, so I ended up turning this post into an episode….sorta, it’s a bit different to what I’ve written, honestly I should’ve just read what I wrote because my nerves started getting to me while recording so if it sounds odd you know why, hopefully it’s okay, but here’s the episode: https://anchor.fm/lexa-marie3/episodes/Getting-Organized—-Where-To-Start–Blog-Post-Ep–47-e1e3at5
Happy Late New Year….it's been a good while since the last episode, you would think that I'd know what I'm doing and yet here I am with heighten nerves trying to share some thoughts with this episode! A bit of a rough start back, I'll admit, but I shall do my best anyway, so without further ado, let's have a bit of a chat!
So we have officially entered the month of February, the shortest month of the year with only 28 days on the calendar, unless leap year is added of course then we get that extra day where it’s 29 days instead! I always find February to be quite interesting for the simple fact that there are only 28 days to it, while the rest of the months have 30 or 31 days to it….it’s quite fascinating really! That being said I do have to be honest about my feelings for February and those feelings are…..it’s not really my favorite month of the year….I don’t mind it, but I also don’t quite feel much for it….sorry February, nothing against you I promise!
Now that I’ve let my true feelings out with this month, let’s share some good things about the month…..although it’s not my favorite…..I still appreciate it for what it is, I mean without February we wouldn’t have Black History Month to help celebrate all those that really helped change the world to what we know now, it’s important to celebrate each culture and race to help gain knowledge of what’s different and try and embrace that as best as we can, all while never forgetting those who made an impact be it in a huge way or ways that we haven’t even heard of, we don’t always have to do something big to make an impact…..always remember that even the smallest effect can make a big difference in some way!
It’s good that we get this month to celebrate those of color, being mixed myself, it’s good to know that we too are celebrated in some way!
On to some other things about February though….many of you may or may not be aware, but this is the first time since we started 2022 that we will be getting not one, but TWO synchronistic days this month…..those days being tomorrow’s date of 2/2/22(February 2, 2022) and a little bit toward the end of the month with 2/22/22(February 22, 2022) now if you’re reading this and don’t really feel anything with it, that’s fine, I know Numerology isn’t for everyone, to be fair….I’m not a big number fan myself (I mean math is my least favorite subject after all which I’ve stated a few times) but if we’re on about synchronicity then that’s a bit of different story….it’s a bit hard to explain really, I guess I just find it cool that we’re in a month where the Two’s are really standing out this year!
It’s like with 11:11, quite the number I know, however if you were to ask someone what is it about the number 11:11 they might not be able to give an answer, other then having the urge to make a wish every time they see it! Now I’m not saying that this goes for everyone, I know there are quite a collective of people that do understand these aligned numbers as well as numerology as a whole, but if this kind of thing isn’t of interest to you and you just see them as regular old numbers then there’s no need to worry about it, but if you do feel something when seeing these kind of numbers or you have seen numbers like 11:11, 222 or 333 ect a little often then you like to admit…..you might want to check them out and see if there’s any messages with them!
Sometimes it’s just good to look something up just for the fun of it and nothing else, it doesn’t have to be about anything, but curiosity if you find it in your mind a lot! Numbers do have meanings to them, but it all comes down to whether it’s of interest to you as a person and what you believe in, if these numbers mean nothing to you…..that’s quite alright! I know people see things differently and as humans (good humans) we have to respect that, this is just something that I find intriguing and wanted to share, call me a weirdo if you like….I call myself that most times, but it’s something I embrace so I don’t really mind lol!
I just wanted to wish everyone a good February…..I probably could’ve just said it and left everything else out, but….I clearly I had other things to say and one of the reasons I wrote this post was because of the whole number thing being quite interesting to me where I just felt the need to share all about it, what can I say it’s cool to see numbers line up sometimes, anyway hope you all are having or have had a good start to the new month, take care of yourself, stay safe, be kind and I’ll see you in the next upcoming post!
Mondays are the days that begin again, it brings connection which allows the rest of the days to follow soon after! We often see Mondays in a Garfield the cat sort of way, it’s not everyone’s favorite day, but the way I like to see it, with Mondays you get more of a clean slate with it. Monday’s aren’t really a favorite of mine either, but I have grown to appreciate it a little more, it’s not a bad day specifically it all just comes down to what actually transpires within the day that can leave it feeling like the best day ever or the most crappiest day ever, but it also comes to how well you handle and get through the day in the start of the week!
Mondays can always feel like a chore to get through, but the reason for that isn’t the day itself, but the energy we put out with it, we look at Monday’s and think “Ugh” not realizing that those thoughts have the ability to lead out the rest of our days for that week. It’s true…..the energy that you put out will always be the energy that is given back to you, it’s a reflection and if you keep the reflection the same, you leave no room for it to be different….unless you switch up the energy!
You can still feel those emotions, you just got to be mindful of them…..which can be a bit hard, to be quite honest, I struggle with this sort of problem, now I don’t mean in a sense of not liking Mondays, like I said I’ve grown to respect Mondays, I see it in a different way and feel it to have a specific theme! To explain it, would be hard, so it may not make much sense! The way I look at it, is…..we all feel the days differently in a more deeper way that can be hard to pin point, yet it still feels to be of some kind of importance, now what kind of importance it is, comes down to what it feels like to you!
I’ll try and give an example the best way I’m able to, so it can kind of make sense…to me, Mondays have this sort of putting pen to paper kind of thing to it, so brainstorming in a way, preparing for whatever it is that needs preparing and working towards how you want the rest of the week to play out, not in a busy way, but in a more efficient way that’s not going to leave you feeling like there’s still loads to do at the end of it! I also feel music to be involved in some way, but that’s because I love music, but for some reason for me I think of Mondays and music comes to mind first, but it also has that feeling of coming across something new, new music, new video games, potential ideas of some sort those kind of things, just full of new discoveries!
Mondays have a practice vibe to it, it’s not about getting everything done all at once, but just trying to figure out efficient ways of doing things, learning to include the practice of managing things better and seeing how well you’re able to prepare yourself in a more still kind of way if that makes better sense….if it doesn’t that’s okay, but that how I always feel Mondays to be like at least to me when thinking about it!
Now I may have wrote all of this, but it doesn’t mean I’ve mastered any of it….it’s actually one of the things I struggle with, knowing how to prepare things out properly, now planning may not be a strong suit of mine, I’m more with the go with the flow kind of girl, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying to figure it out, eventually it will click and I’ll know that I will better understand it in a way that it becomes second nature in way, it just comes with practice same with everything else!
Back to the whole energy of Monday’s though, hopefully I didn’t get too off track there and that this all still makes sense, my deliveries aren’t always the greatest I know, but to wrap everything up in a somewhat slightly nice slanted bow…..Monday’s don’t have to always seem so draggy and chore daunting, it can be fun and full of excitement, you just have to give it the energy you want out of it and shield off any negative projectiles coming at you the best way you can….really it just comes down to making the best out of a situation and being mindful of what thoughts and emotions you’re giving off for the day!
If you start the week off in a panic….the rest of day is going to be filled with chaos most likely (not always) but it will feel like it! If you wake up thinking to yourself “I just want it to be Friday already” knowing the week just started then don’t be surprise when you feel it to be Wednesday, but it’s actually Tuesday! We have to try and give each day the best energy we can, we don’t have to be feeling 100%, however if the day is feeling super crappy, find something that will help change up that crappy energy or if you find it’s going slow….and you’ve done everything you needed to do that day….don’t be afraid to use that extra time on yourself if it’s needed!
Maybe there’s something you meant to do, but never got around for, you can always use that extra time for that thing you’ve been wanting to do….if you have that extra time, try and see in what ways you can use it! Maybe you don’t have that extra time and the day has flown away from you, if that’s the case try not to get too upset on not getting all that you wanted done that day, like I said not everything needs to be done all at once…..allow yourself to leave room for what hasn’t been done then for another time, because 9/10 it’s meant for another time, allow yourself to finish up what it is your doing in the moment and leave what you weren’t able to do for later.
Mondays are at the beginning of the week for a reason…..we need Monday in order for the other days to flow properly without, it would always feel like something is missing…..Mondays are what a blank canvas is before the creativity start flowing, it’s about preparation in getting things ready before you’re really ready to go, that’s what Monday’s mean to me, maybe it means something different to you! Feel free to share what you feel when you think of Mondays!
It was yesterday that I came to the realization that we’re only 1 week away from Christmas…..1 WEEK!! I don’t know why December feels like it both just started and has more days to it then normal!? At least this year, am I the only one that feels that way? Possibly…..maybe…..I guess part of me isn’t ready to start 2022 yet, although I also am because I’m hoping for this upcoming year that is 2022 to have some kind of big change that ends up good and more than I could ever hope for!
Not saying I can’t make something big happen myself although when it comes to trying to make big things happen it can be kind of intimidating because who knows if it’ll be really big or something that feels big, but is actually just small, you know what I mean!? Not that there’s anything wrong with having something feel big, but is actually small in comparison to what you may have had in mind…..what I’m trying to say is I just would like 2022 to be the year that everything falls in to place, however way it may land or choose to land!
To be able to make up our minds about certain things that we may have wanted to do for a very good while now, but somewhere deep down we’re still afraid to do anything about it, finally choosing a direction to go in and sticking with it because it something we truly believe in and truly see it to be the better thing for us in the end or because we know we’re really interested and happy doing those things we love!
Not wanting to regret a single thing that comes next and just allowing ourselves to just go for those things, not wanting to be afraid and feeling like we soon won’t have a choice because we already made the choice, even if it feels wrong at first, but really just turns out to be something we were actually looking for and wishing to happen or maybe even weren’t looking for…..
Don’t you just want to be able to get up in the morning and always know you have something to look forward to, wake up knowing you’re where you’re truly meant to be!? Where you have always wanted to be despite the fears and doubts that constantly float around in your head? Don’t you want to be happy? Maybe you’ve really been wishing to be near that special someone for quite sometime and at the moment you haven’t really been able to see that person, but you know you’re wanting so bad to have them close by without always having that thought of I wish they were…..
maybe there’s something you’ve had your heart set out to finally pick up a new hobby or creative spark, but have been feeling a little low on energy or not feeling it to be the best time, due to being overly busy or just because you really haven’t had time to get around to it! If there’s anything I would like to come from 2022 that I can honestly say would make it if not the best year, but where I would consider it the best year overall, is to uncover a new found creative spark where I can have endless amount of creativity where I’m left happy everyday and to finally reunite and have my guy by me always….
Those two thing…..would make 2022 an automatic favorite, everything else that follows and comes with the year will be bonuses, but if I had to really say what I would like to come from this upcoming year it would be unlimited amount of creativity and reuniting with my love….if I were to add some other things in there…..I would say…..more adventures, letting go any fears and uncertainties, new transformations…..I guess I would just be open to anything that I have yet to discover! 2021 has been rough…..there’s been some new things, but there’s also been a few postpones, which I know happens sometimes it’s for the best and maybe you find you need a bit more time to sort things out properly!
I think we’re all in need for 2022 to be that sense of fresh air that we haven’t had in a while, be that start of something new and different to what we already know, a new kind of adventure that we know is calling to us, but are having trouble answering and letting in because we don’t know what will come of it…..that’s how I’ve been feeling these days I guess….and it’s the first time in a very long while that I’m sharing my own personal thoughts where I don’t feel like I have to figure my words out….this is just what I feel, what I have been feeling, but didn’t come around to truly knowing how to express these thoughts until now!
I guess winter really is the best time to reflect on all that we’ve kept bottled in…..2021 had it’s best and not so great moments and the realization that it’s practically over is really….something, we only have Christmas and then we’re off to a new year, so if you have any last minute reflection to do…..definitely think about them, ask yourself what it is you want to happen for this upcoming year, leave the fear to the side, the worries and try to just look for the road and if you can’t find it…..let your heart and intuition guide you to what feels right and when you do…..keep following it even if you are scared, you will always get to where you need to, you just have to be willing to take that leap and trust that where you land is going to be safe and lead you to where you’re meant to be!
Safe travels wherever you go, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!
I’ve never been one for planning you know, which you probably do because I’ve mentioned it a few times on here, me and plans….don’t mix, however I’ve come to a point in my life where, I’m finding myself trying to plan for things which is usually not my department, but if the time has come for me to really sit and plan things properly then I’m going to do it! I’m going to put myself in an uncomfortable situation and face it the best way I can, scared and full of nerves combined!
Today has been a bit of a rough day for me, I’ll admit, I woke up with soooo many thoughts in my head and trying to sort them is completely new to me, I don’t normally sort my thoughts out well and so trying to do that today has got my head just full of aches lol…..but it’s okay because I know that there’s something that is very important I want to do and if I end up losing a little bit of sleep from it or feel myself getting slightly anxious on, I’m alright with that! Plans aren’t my normal cup of tea, but I’ve been trying to embrace it a little better instead of getting intimidated by them,
Plans are important they can help layout things so you don’t feel all over the place! Normally I like going with things naturally, but I’ve also been learning that sometimes you need to plan for things in order to work them out, if you just let things always go as they are, whatever is most important to you can get away from you and if that’s something you don’t want then you have to really work at them and take those steps to having them come to fruition and making them happen…..I’m always being told that life is short and you want to make sure you’re always giving attention to the things that matter most even if it seems hard, it can seem like you won’t get there, but if you want it enough and you believe in it enough….you already know that it can get there, you just have to take those steps to get them there!
Now with the things that I’m planning, there’s a few decisions that I’ve come to realize I need to face and deal with, even though some of the stuff may not be my favorite to want to deal with…..it’s up to me to take that breath, put on a brave face and do it anyway…..with planning you also have to make decisions tough or not, because that’s the only way for you to grow better and to experience things without all the limits of it all it all, you have to allow yourself to fly even if you are bat scared shit of it and yes I’m saying it just like that because it’s how I’m feeling it at the moment….if we continue to always keep ourselves on the ground, as safe as it may be sometimes you have to also fly or float otherwise you’ll always be there wishing you could soar that blue sky!
I recently went on a trip as you may know if you read that post and I was really nervous when I was waiting to go on the plane, but once I got on the plane…..I don’t know I was very happy, I smiled to myself knowing I did something that scared me and even when I was on the vacation I was on…..I was ready to go back on the plane……it just felt good and I really enjoyed myself knowing that I was ahead somewhere that I hadn’t been yet and that’s what I want to continue, I want to keep discovering, exploring and going on adventures…..but also I want to share that experience and so if I need to plan in order to do that, like I said…..I will!
The upcoming plan idea is to finally be able to see my love again and figure out how we can be together permanently, we both have wanted that for a good now sooo, I’m just hoping that it all goes well for us this time, which we’ll make sure it does!
Hiya everyone, hope you've been having a good week so far! In today's episode, I talk about some of my own personal thoughts that I've been feeling today and about planning….something I see as intimidating normally, but I've been trying to embrace it a little better this time around and really do my best with it all!
Happy Friday everyone, hope you all are having a good day and enjoying yourself!! Not going to lie…..It really doesn’t feel like Friday today, I actually woke up unsure if it was Friday or not and then I learned it was Friday, which is weird, I think the trip I just came back from sorta messed up my days a bit…..regardless I hope you’re all well and keeping safe! Now you may have noticed I hadn’t written in while, with the exception of yesterday’s post stating that I’m back and better than ever lol (if you get it, you get it)
Anyway so we don’t delay on what this post is about, you can probably take a huge wild guess, seeing that I’ve just come back from an unexpected vacation, I thought I’d share my experience on that with you guys, now even though I say unexpected, I did know about it, I just weren’t expecting myself to go to it, it was actually a last minute decision when I decided and it was preety hectic as well, I was calm about it though, everything else was kinda chaotic, not too much though, to jump into it…..I finally went on a trip to Puerto Rico, it was the first time I had ever been there, which you would think I’d gone a lot seeing that my mom is from there, buuut no I’ve never been to Puerto Rico until recently, like literally went on the day of my 3 year blog anniversary!
I was there for a week, left Sunday (July 11th) and came back early in the morning on Monday (July 19th) the flight was actually pretty cool….I was a bit nervous going on a plane, although it wasn’t my first time, but it’s been a while, but while on the plane I actually found myself loving being on it, it took about 3 and half hours to get there from where I’m from, but it wasn’t all that bad, to be fair I did have my headphones in throughout the trip heading to PR that and I was enjoying looking out at the sky through the window soooo that’s the flight part of the journey (I did have a picture of it, but it wasn’t off of my phone so sorry about that)
Now let’s get into the days of the adventure shall we!?
Day 1(Uno) -Settling InMorovis(July 11th)
My first day in PR was…..very hot, like the heat was intense, it was sooo humid over there, however Puerto Rico’s heat is a lot different then the heat in New Jersey, where I’m from, also you’ll find if ever any of you decide to take a trip over there, just know that the weather is very weird, one minute it’s hot and another minute rain shows up, like literally it’ll rain then stop and the suns and repeat after that, I thought my mom was kidding, but she wasn’t when she told me about it every time she would go, now I can say I’ve experienced it myself!!
When I got to Puerto Rico though, I wasn’t actually sure what to expect, obviously it’s an Island so I expected that, as for everything else I didn’t know what I was going to be exploring until I got there, it was nice, just very hot, we didn’t really do too much the first day, we did a little bit of running around, grabbed some food, which by the way I ordered in Spanish…..we’ll half Spanish, but I still tried so I was proud of myself for attempting to order in Spanish, I know a bit, but not that much, I do understand it, I just don’t know how to really speak it, yeah I know….
There’s a couple of things that I learned while there on the first day and one of those things is there are some very windy roads, like you’re always turning corners and you’ll find out how small the roads are, highways are different, regular roads, let’s just say there should not be a two entrance on some of them, that’s how tight the roads are seriously, on a different note….you’ll also learn there are a LOT of animal, cows, chickens, lizards, Horses, just a lot of animals and in the morning if your not an early person just know the roosters will wake you up, especially if you’re a light sleeper who likes sleep…..I didn’t mind it, I wake up pretty early anyway, not super early, but early enough!
Another thing you’ll notice is there’s a lot of natural fresh grown fruits and vegetables, although I probably seen more fruits then veggies, the supermarkets are a bit different, but also not different, but there are places you wouldn’t normally see on a regular basis unless you lived in PR, now that I think about it Day 1 was pretty eventful even though we didn’t do too much!
Day 2 (Dos) – Cero Gordo Beach (July 12th)
We’ve entered day dos in PR, up early had coffee, took a few photos on this day, I wrote in my journal/notebook, I made sure I took one with me so I could have an idea for when I came back to share on the blog, but when I took some photos I was just getting the hang of the manual setting of the camera I have and so I was excited so I mentioned it…..fast forwarding toward what the day for Day 2 was like, we went to a beach, now I’m not the biggest fan of beaches, it’s like my least favorite place to go, beaches are beautiful don’t get me wrong…..I just don’t like to go to them, I sit in the sand and watch and listen to the waves, everyone knows how calming they are, but going in the water…..is a meh for me, that being said, I did go into this beach water, it was pretty clear and you could kinda see everything, lots of seaweed in the water, which I didn’t like….although it made me laugh because it tickled my feet,
but I still didn’t like the feeling, also the water at this beach was EXTREMELY SALTY, I know beaches are meant to be like that, but I’m telling you if you went to this one and went under the water and came back up, your sinus would be CLEARED so if you’re having a bit of Sinus issue this water will clear it *snap* like that lol I only went into this beach water once and then I just sat in the sand, wrote in my journal and took pictures of the scenery around me which was nice there was a lot of Pelicans and a lot of them we’re flying in the air and then just dove in the water and it always looked like they were hurting themselves, but they were just looking for food so no worries! I also experienced an albino crab in the sand, I took a video of it, it did not like being bothered, I don’t have the video on the computer, but I do have a picture so you’ll see it in a moment!
After we finished on the beach we got a few icy’s I had a coconut one and snickers, I didn’t quite like the coconut one, okay I did, but I didn’t and that’s because I don’t like actual coconut flakes, I like the flavor of coconut, but not the flakes, the actual coconut itself and so forth and my icy had a lot of the flakes and I could not enjoy it, the snickers one however was great….I had it a little bit after we were meant to leave, but hey it was still good!!
Day 3: Tres-Goza Landia(July 13th)
Day 3 of PR the morning started on the delayed side in terms of breakfast, it took forever just to get a couple of sandwiches, but just leave it there on that! Day 3’s journey was a bit of a long one, it took a while to get to where we were going, but when we did get there…..it was good time, we went to this Waterfall place, but it wasn’t your typical kind of waterfall, this waterfall you could actually swim in which was very nice, also it felt like a hike to me, because we kind of did sorta hike, there were different sections of the Waterfall place we were at that you could go into,
If you wanted to be at the very top you had to walk a distance, if you wanted to be at the bottom you only had to go a little while, we ended up in the middle section, it was the one we chose, but also one I preferred, plus there was a lot of people at the top of the waterfall and we were kind of looking for less people so the middle worked just fine, it was pretty deep too the water, it didn’t look it, but when you go into it, you see it, it wasn’t too deep, I can’t handle water that’s too deep….it frightens me also I’m not that great of a swimmer anyway sooo yeah lol…..
The best part about this Waterfall place was you could swim in it while enjoying the view as well, if I had to say what my favorite place was, this would be it, because it’s so different, you wouldn’t think you could swim in a waterfall like that, you also had places to sit if you wanted to get out of the water a bit, didn’t have to worry about no sand, although you did have to watch your step because it’s quite slippery! There were moments where I felt like I was rock climbing and I don’t know I just felt like I was in my element in that place, the waterfall place is what I mean, it was just a cool experience and the best thing I ever got to do, if anyone reading this ever goes to Puerto Rico go to that place, I think you’ll enjoy it!!
Also I saw some turtles, I saw a crane, Crawfish and Shrimp, it was a good time, I really enjoyed myself there!! P.S. I also tried a passionfruit for the first time, it wasn’t bad!!
Day 4: (Cuatro) – Colorful Shopping Center (July 14th)
Day 4’s journey…..we didn’t really do all that much for day 4, not a lot was happening entertainment wise, sooo we ended up exploring the shopping centers around wherever the heck it was, I don’t remember the name of the area we were in, now I call it the colorful shopping center because it was colorful, I didn’t actually take pictures of it because I didn’t feel like I needed to really bring my camera so sorry for that…..after we did some shopping and looking around, we went for something to eat, I tried this place called Mango where they have a lot of fresh food, I saw it last time and wanted to try it so when we went again I made sure to give it a look….surprisingly it was pretty good, their stuff is healthy, I had a veggie power bowl, I’ve been changing my way of eating, I don’t want to say I’m Vegetarian exactly because I still eat Chicken, I just don’t eat pork or beef anymore, but I eat more fish then chicken sooo….
I’m just eating better for myself let’s just say that….the Veggie power bowl was good, I was curious to try it, I thought it was going to be a hot meal with rice and steamed Vegetables ….but it was cold…..I then came to the conclusion that it was a salad…..but let me tell you it was an amazing salad, like I enjoy a good salad here and there, my favorite salad is the Parmesan Cesar salad from Wendy’s, but this one like I don’t know what it was, but it was lovely, it had Spinach, tomatoes, black beans, cheese and I think some other stuff, I can’t remember and the dressing was great, I think it was an Italian/Vinaigrette type dressing, regardless it was lovely and I loved it, very nice, I also had a Banana Strawberry smoothie with it, that was nice too, I did take one photo though,
I took a picture of a rainbow, it was raining when we got back and getting dark at the same time, but luckily I was able to catch the rainbow before it disappeared fully, it’s a little dimmed, it was kind of faint by the time I caught it, but hopefully you can still see it okay!
Day 5 (Cinco) – San Juan Beach (July 15th)
Day 5….we went to another beach…..again not a big fan of beaches….however I liked this beach more than the first one, the first one was nice don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know I liked this one more, also the water was pretty clearer here, it was clear in the other one too, just want to let you know that, both beaches had clear water, this one was clearer though and less Salty, it has salt obviously, I mean it is a beach after all, but it wasn’t too much of it compared to the first one we went to! One of the reasons I enjoyed this beach a lot was for the simple fact that it had a LOT of stones for me to choose from, like a lot, I mean we practically on a mountain of rocks when we went sooo….of course I was going rock and shell hunting on it, I mean wouldn’t you!?
You see I’m a collector of stones and shells sooo seeing that, I was loving every moment, I had a bag full of it, that’s how many I had, okay half a bag, I tried not to go too crazy, although I still ended up grabbing a good amount…..leave me alone okay, It was my first time in Puerto Rico sooo if there’s nice stones and shells I’m grabbing them!! I enjoyed the water this time while there like there was a shallow section, where the waves weren’t so in your face that’s where I was, also the waves were too much, because there were big rocks blocking it from splashing on you, but it wasn’t blocking it too much to where the waves weren’t able to go over it, they were nice!!
This beach was very beautiful, you could see little fishes in the water, they’ll stay by your feet if you let them and if you don’t move, but they won’t harm you, I think they just like the company, I saw a duck as well and a few doves, there were boats going by, it was just really nice, after being there for a couple of hours, we eventually let and got something to eat, the food was somewhat alright, but it wasn’t the greatest where we stopped, which is a shame because it a famous place, but hey they can’t all be great, I didn’t mind them though!!
Last journaled entry
Day 6-SeisDay 2 in San Juan Battlefield Fort (Going Sight Seeing)
We’ve come to Day 6, Friday’s journey…..back in San Juan this time with a different agenda, SIGHTSEEEING!! It was a pretty good time, saw a lot of different things, we went to this historical place that’s pretty popular, we had a bit of lunch at this GREAT restaurant, oh my gosh, had the most amazing appetizer, it was fried plantains (Tostones Rellenos) which is stuffed plantain cups if that makes sense and on top was shredded king crab and let me tell you, I was in love,
It was soooo good like, I couldn’t stop talking about it, it was that good, also I love food so when I eat something and I can’t stop talking about it, you know you did good!! I also had a seafood Mofongo, so it had shrimp….squid and clams or mussels one of them…..but I can’t stand clams and mussels sooo I just ate the shrimp and the squid, yes I like squid, but I also like fried calamari soo, I actually thought the squid was octopus, but then I learned it was squid, but it taste just like octopus, the squid was cooked with the shrimp though,
I’m a weird one, I’ll try anything as long as it’s good and squid and octopus is good to me, also in case you’re wondering what Mofongo it’s pretty much the same thing I had for an appetizer only mushed up and it’s good, I had my seafood Mofongo with garlic sauce, it was a good lunch! After lunch we then continued to walk around the area and continue our sightseeing, we ended up checking out this historical fort place, fun fact the fort that we visited was actually once a battlefield in the war days, like a base in a way, they would look out for any invaders or ships and that and then eventually it turned into a popular spot for tourist to check out, which is pretty cool, it’s also kind of like a castle, like it looks like one and you’re able to explore the inside of it, I didn’t get to unfortunately,
cause it was closed, but I did see a lot of it so it was okay, the hills on the fort are tall and it’s a bit of a walk, not too bad, it’s more intimidating to walk it looks wise, but actually walking it, not as bad, you get there pretty quick actually!! After exploring the area and taking lots of pictures, we headed back to where we stayed, but not before getting Gelatos, it was actually my first time trying it and it’s pretty darn good, I wanted to try this Strawberry Cheesecake flavor with vanilla…..but they didn’t have it, so instead I picked Coffee and Vanilla and that was delicious, I’m glad my back up was a good choice, but yeah day 6 was eventful!!
That’s everything I’ve journaled out, Day 7 and 8, we didn’t really do too much, plus it was the weekend we we’re going back, although Sunday night before our flight back we went to the movies over in PR and watched Black Widow….it was pretty good, I enjoyed the movie, I also had a mac and cheese in the theater and this Hershey triple chocolate cupcake, both good by the way and after the movies, we headed straight toward the airport, we meant to get some dinner, but we didn’t, however we could’ve because our flight got delayed, the pilots were late so we had to wait up until almost 3am before we headed back to the states…..and thinking about that is making me tired lol
Overall my first time in Puerto Rico…..it was a good experience, I’ve never been there until the days i’ve been, but it was a good time, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy myself, I did! Would I ever live there….no not at all…..I hate the heat and even though it’s beautiful and really nice, it just doesn’t feel like a place for me to live, but visiting it, yeah sure why not, I’d go back to a few places here, like that Waterfall place, the beach in San Juan with all the rocks, the place with the food, with the Tostones Rellenos topped with King Crab and that historical fort area, I liked that a lot, maybe one day I get to actually go inside it, but that’s all for my journey and exploration of Puerto Rico, there’s a lot of places I haven’t gone just yet, but i’m sure I’ll discover them at some point, I hope you liked this adventure post, enjoy the pictures, I’m really proud of them so I hope you like them as well!!
It’s about 10pm now sooo, I probably should sign off now, you have a goodnight and I’ll see you in my next post, have a happy rest of the weekend!!
The process of songwriting is a little hard to explain unless you yourself know a little about it, what I love about songwriting is the access of being able to express freely without feeling you have to hold much back, sure you can’t say everything you may want into just one song, but you can say majority of what it is your feeling in the moment and have it still be what you want to say, even if it’s just one of the things you want to say!!
It’s slight complicated, but also not that complicated, all songwriting is and expects of you is to speak what it is you feel to be true to you and say it with pride, you can’t write a song unless you feel something or have something to get you inspired by for a songwriting session to soon take form….and that can come from many places, a person, an object, heck even a flowing river can be taken as inspiration!! Maybe another song sung by someone else will be the thing to strike a cord within yourself to then get you to grab a pen/pencil and get expressing it can come pretty much anywhere which is the best thing in my opinion really!
A lot of the time I find myself singing random songs that come out of nowhere and most of the time, i’m either in the Kitchen or Bathroom (not going to go too far with that explanation don’t worry) it is true though, whenever I sing to myself those are the locations where I get my random sing alongs from, sometimes I also get them when i’m outside sitting in some grass, but those times are on special occasions though!!
There are moments where when i’m listening to an artist and listening to their songs and i’ll wonder just how they were able to write their songs the way that they did, for example Harry Styles…..now we all know him as a former member of One Direction of course, but Harry has some amazing songwriting skills, i’ve been listening to him a lot more recently hence why I chose to have him be an example to this post, I can’t explain his way of writing, but each time I hear his songs, they always amaze me, he expresses in a way that leaves you interested on the story he’s trying to convey as he’s singing about it, if you’ve never heard a Harry Styles song I would suggest you do, because you’d be surprised just how well he is at it!!
Another artist that leaves me wondering on their way of writing is Zayn , another member who was apart of One Direction yes, I know, but aside from both him and Harry both being in the band, once they exited out from One Direction, you saw a massive transformation within both their music and personalities as well, Zayn though after his departure you wouldn’t believe how different his writing style was compared to when he was in the band, like complete opposite to being in the band!!
I remember when I heard about Zayn’s departure from the band and at the time, I was just getting into One Direction after telling myself that I wouldn’t like another boy band after being a really big fan of the Jonas Brothers, like it was only them and no one else….but once I did allow myself to enjoy their music and soon later get to know a little about them, I was okay, I also told myself that they would be the last and only boy band that I liked along with the Jonas Brothers, only those two that’s it!!
I kept that vow to this day, but back to Zayn leaving the band, when I heard about it, I was slight upset not gonna lie, but I also said to myself that if that’s what he felt he wanted that i’d be happy for him and once he left, although it was weird, I was excited to see what kind of new sound he was going to share with us!! Fast forward a bit to where he just released his new album Mind Of Mine and what was shared was something I honestly wasn’t expected, but also kinda figured he’d do at the same time,
but nonetheless I was surprised about it!! To explain his style of writing, i’ll have to re listen to really get my thoughts on it, not that I haven’t already been listening to Zayn, i’ve also recently been revisiting some of his songs as well, but I still don’t know how to truly explain it just yet, but we’ll come back to it! The one thing I can say is that both Zayn and Harry, have similar ways of expressing themselves in their songs, however they are also very different, their tones are different, the styles are of their songwriting is different, but if you listen to them both carefully, you’ll be surprised on how in depth they are with their songs.
That’s the beauty though with songwriting you can either be very direct with the message you’re trying to express or if you’re the kind of person who likes to have people guessing, then forcing people to dig deep and discover the true hidden message you’re trying to get at is something that can works too, I love both tactics, because I always like looking for the meanings behind songs that are written! Lyrics have always been my favorite thing about a song, sure beats and instruments within songs are nice as well, but at heart i’m lyricist and that’s something I know i’ll always be and it’s for that reason I like songwriting!!
I love discovering artists that have a unique way of jotting down their thoughts, from Harry Styles, to Zayn, Alexz Johnson (who I love with everything in my heart and soul, she is amazing!!) The band PVRIS, Scott James, Lux Lisbon, Michael Kilbey, Ashley Tisdale…..there’s so many more, I just can’t think of them all, but there’s so many different artists that i’ve had the pleasure of discovering and listening to where i’ve listen to their songs and i’m just blown away with how they write their songs, it’s amazing and I just love it so much and it’s fun to listen and see if you can understand the meaning of what they’ve written as well as see if you’d be able to interpret it in many different ways, but for me mainly, I listen to these artists because their songwriting abilities are just so well written that when it’s performed you can’t help, but feel drawn and infatuated by their choice of words within the songs that they share with everyone and it’s great!!
P.S. This post was inspired by both Zayn and Harry Styles because of how much i’ve been listening to them these days, don’t be surprised if you see me reviewing their albums soon, it’s kinda an idea already anyway so this is just me giving you a heads up on it
Alright let’s get this all out of the way without being awkward about it!! I’ve been gone for quiiite a while now as most or some may have noticed, my last post was back in October of last year, but as we all know we’re now in the year of 2021, it’s a bit crazy when you think about it I know!! Now we are in mid January close to moving to a New month, but we’ve still got a couple more days to this month before we transition over to that month so don’t go worrying too much about it!!
You might be wondering why i’ve been away for quite some time and the truth to that is……there was nothing for me to bring here…..I didn’t have much to say…..i’ve been also trying to figure out a lot of things in terms of not just new ideas, but I wanted to bring for myself, now whether that makes sense or not is to tell…..I didn’t feel happy with a lot of things, as much as I tried to share here, nothing ever felt important to share and because of that…..I just felt like I needed to step back from the things that I was doing within that time.
There was a lot of sorting that was needed from me and I felt and knew that, i’d like to say that i’ve sorted it all and i’m all good to go, but the truth is that’s not the case lol, there are still things that i’m working on, but from where I was and where i’m at now i’ve gotten a bit better that i’ve had the most trouble with, that aside I do still feel like I have a bit more to go before i’d say i’m at least 80-95% good!! 100% is a little too high right now for me to rate, but i’m in no rush to get to that percentage if i’m being honest I know i’ll get there eventually!!
In terms to how i’m feeling, obviously you have your days, that’s just part of being human, but for the most part i’d say i’ve been pretty alright, I feel good, but not GOOD with capital letters, it’s a little hard to explain,
I guess it’s kinda like a temperature thermostat, but instead of it telling you where you’re at on a hot/cold scale, it tells you where you’re at on a feeling scale and mine is at pretty alright/good, pretty alright is the middle and good (lower case letters) is just above it!! That’s where i’m at right now overall, which is good for me for now, I still worry about a lot of things that’s never going to change, but i’ve been slowly trying to embrace things more which is still new to me, but i’ve gotten better at it that I can say!!
I like to say that i’m still a work in progress, but slowly, yet surely I feel myself getting there little by little and i’m happy with myself about that, I still feel scared a lot of time with not really knowing where i’m going next, but that’s a fear within me that i’m doing my best to get over, I have been thinking of ideas where I have in mind of heading next, it’s something I have yet to try, but it’s something that has caught my interest and once I sort that all out i’ll speak of it more later down the line of course….
I do have another idea in mind that i’m probably going to try to mix in with my other idea, however this idea is one i’ve already had in my head for a while now…..again still have to sort it out first, obviously i’ll be doing it one by one because that’s the only way i’ll be able to fully give attention to it, but that’s just the half of it kinda….i’ve already written down slight notes to what I have in mind so i’d have an idea of how to do it, but because it’s something new and something that i’ve yet to try, I get nervous about it not knowing how it’s going to be, but if i’ve learned anything lately it’s to just let things happen when they happen and try not to think about it too much….which is something i’m still getting used as you can tell ha……
I’m sure once I get there, everything will just come through right then there, I just have to not think too much on it and let myself explore and figure it out on the way as scary as it may be and all, I just have to keep my focus on one thing at a time and know that everything else will follow along in the time that it’s supposed to. Excited, yet terrified in a good way of course!! I hope you all have been well and that this year has been treating you well, if you too are still on the journey of discovery of ones self,
know that no matter how worried you may be or how scared you may be…….it’s okay to feel that way….just take it one by one and whatever moment you’re in right now, embrace it and let it lead you somewhere you’d never think of going, in someway it’s bound to surprise you with where it takes you and wherever that may be….I wish you all the best on your adventures ^_^ Happy New Year and here’s to unexpected journey’s!!