Remembering Christina Grimmie (Blog Post)

To write or not to write that is the question isn’t it!? The answer, well….I’m not really sure, I want to write, it’s just trying to figure out what topic I’d like to discuss is where the issue is…..it’s not really an issue, I just don’t know what this post is going to be about, I’m hoping that as I’m writing this post, something will find a way to come up! In the meantime, if you don’t mind I’d like to share upon my latest Podcast episode with you, in the latest episode I discuss all about Christina Grimmie, who if you don’t know was a great and talented artist, however she passed on this very day, 5 years ago today…..

I’m not really sure why, but I felt like talking about her and so I recorded a whole episode yesterday, sharing my thoughts and just remembering her a bit, If you’d like to give it a listen you can check it out here: Remembering Christina Grimmie (Music, Personality ect…) You can also listen to it on Spotify!

I didn’t personally know Christina, but I used always watch her videos on Youtube, where she first showcased her talents and she was always a favorite channel of mine to watch, I always considered her voice to be very powerful, if you took a glimpse into her personality as she was talking and then you heard her sing right after, you wouldn’t believe how strong her voice to be, but she always had this something special with her, hard to explain, but you could always feel it and I guess that’s why a lot of people gravitated towards her and kept a know on her!

Now I wouldn’t call myself the biggest fan of Christina’s, but I really did like her a lot, I always loved hearing her sing and just getting to see her personality that she would share with everyone, after she started becoming more recognized for her talents, you knew that she was going to be something and she was, like I said I didn’t really follow her that much when she started becoming a bit more well known, but I would always check in here and there with her and her music and it’d always take me back to when she first started on Youtube or shall I say within her early years of Youtube, I don’t think I was around when she first, first started…..but I do remember the beginning parts to when she was just getting started if that makes sense!

Some of what I said here, is what I said in that episode, only there’s more within it…..if I’m being honest it’s been a very long time since I’ve really thought about Christina Grimmie, that being said, I never forgot about her, I still listen to a few of her songs and when I do I always think about how great she really was and how much I miss hearing her voice, she was a one of a kind, kind of person and I know that a lot of people that knew her and enjoyed her presence, be it music, personality and just her overall, will always miss her too and will never ever truly forget about her, she’ll always be remembered for the impact that she left in peoples lives, big or small!

Christina you will always be remembered and missed dearly, I know I already said it in my episode, but thank you for the time that you gave us while you were here, even when it may seem like we’ve forgotten there will always be something to help us remember you and everything that you left, you’re a soul that left too soon, but one that will always live on for many many lifetimes and wherever you are, I hope that you are happy and still sharing that wonderful and powerful voice of yours as well as your personality, rest well and know that those that still keep you in mind will always love you! Thank you for everything.

P.S.

Here’s one of my favorite cover songs by Christina, I love Jason Mraz’s version as well, I mean it is his song, but Grimmie’s version…. is definitely worth a listen: I Won’t Give Up (Christina Grimmie’s Version)

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

I’m Just Thinking Out Loud….

Good afternoon! Hope your Tuesday is treating you all well, Summer is literally close by anyone else feeling this heatwave of sorts, I’m telling you Summer….not my thing! Besides that, let’s have a chat in writing shall we!? It’s been a bit, well more like 5 days, but whose keeping count right!? You know one thing I can appreciate with writing is that when you need to find words…..you’re able to take your time with it, there isn’t as much pressure with it compared to if you were podcasting an episode or making videos…..not saying I don’t like doing those things, I do it helps me to express differently and forces me to put myself out there in different ways, which is something I am both used to and not used to, however when I really need to think on things and I know I need the pressure lowered it really helps to just sit back and take my time to write about it!

I struggle with words most times, although I love to talk, seriously I enjoy talking especially when the topic is something that means a lot to me, BUT…..that being said…..really talking about things….I always have a hard time no matter how much I try and prepare for it! In order for me to really find my words…..I need to think deeply on it and having this blog and being able to say the things that can be hard to say talking wise really means a lot, if this was a live writing and talking….there would be a lot of ums and long pauses, which I try my hardest to not do…but it’s just something that is apart of me, it’s how I express and I’m trying to get used to that when expressing verbally, along with trying to keep those ums and long pauses short…still got a long way to go on that, but I’m sure I’ll get there!

I don’t think on it often, but in this moment, right here, right now…..I am very and extremely grateful to have this blog to be my voice on days when I am not sure what to say or when I feel I need a moment to gather my thoughts, I am a very expressive person, that has a hard time expressing, which is the weirdest thing lol! If you were to just see me at a natural state and just allowed me to chat about whatever comes to mind…..you’d see how expressive I actually am,

That being said, I’m still getting used to being my naturally expressive self that’s why I have so many different things that I do, from this blog to my still figuring out Podcast and soon probably something a lot different than what I’m used to, but that I feel would help to really be comfortable with myself, sometimes I wonder if I’m too weird for for people and if I should tone it down and that’s me being completely and from the heart honest, you can’t see me, but I’m trying my best to keep from getting emotional here, but it’s the truth!

It’s the truth that I’ve never really been open with, I always express how you should just be yourself, but honestly….I have a hard time fully being myself and I’m trying to become comfortable with being who I am and who I’m still discovering I am, even at the age of 26 lol, but I’m hoping I will eventually get it *literally scratched it* I have faith that eventually I’ll learn to be okay with it!

Now when it comes to how I choose to showcase my voice…..I choose to show it and embrace it in many different ways, be it blogging on it, stepping out of comfort expressing it on my Podcast and even in front of a camera as camera shy as I maybe at time, somedays I don’t mind it, but somedays I do, Just like Scott James once sang in his song Speck In The Spectrum “Part of me, likes this…..and part of me doesn’t mind it! All the rest is a Speck in the Spectrum, of a world that makes no sense to me”

Not sure what made me quote that song, I can’t share it anyway as he’s put is old songs private on his Youtube, but it was the first thing that came to mind, one of my favorites by him! Those are my thoughts though, don’t know where they came from, I just started writing and it just naturally came out, I didn’t even know I was writing it until I wrote it!

If you would like to get to know me better or my ways of expressing better I recently recorded an episode on my Podcast similar to this topic, you can listen to it here: Finding Ones Voice (Just Chatting) You can check it out on Anchor or Spotify whatever suits you!

Thank you for reading this post and just for being here in general, very much appreciated!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Bursting Energy…..

Happy Friday! Hope you’re all doing well this fine afternoon…..I got a bit of too much energy right now as I’m writing this and I’m not quite sure how to handle it, I feel good today, I feel a lot better than these past 2 days, the only thing is, I just don’t know what to do with myself with this amount of energy, I don’t want to use it all in one go, I would like to pace it better, but I’m finding myself slowly draining it by each super thought that fills me with excitement or just by thinking too much about things….not in a bad way, but just by like I said getting myself excited with ideas and looking forward to things, for example I’ve got 2 podcast episodes that I’m eager to do that will be coming in the next week or 2, they’re both childhood related and I’m excited to put my thoughts on them after so long, you’ll know about them in due time don’t worry!

Now as for the other thing that always tends to leave me excited when thinking about it, is something that I find myself going back to, that I want to try, that I have yet to try my hand at, I always think about it, but I’ve not yet decided on fully giving it a go even when I do feel it! Recently I’ve been researching on it more and every time I do, I get both happy and nervous about it, but I don’t know I just feel it to be something that keeps kind of calling to me to check it out, I just get nervous!

Although, I always on occasion and if not that, then here and there looking more and more into it and I feel like it’s a good time to see about it and see if I can find myself getting used to a lot, again I just get nervous thinking about it because I don’t know if I’ll be good at it, but then I think well I won’t know unless I give it a try and it’s not something that I need to be serious about in a sense of I can just be me and do it how I feel it to naturally come out, it’s just a nervous feeling one reason being because it’ll require me to show my face again and not just my voice which is something that I haven’t quite done in the past few months and it’s one of the reasons I haven’t decided on it just yet.

I know I’m still becoming more comfortable with my voice and so combining the two is a bit nerve-racking for me, I just get very uncomfortable in front of a camera, even though I’ve done it plenty before, but regardless to if it’s been so long or not it still takes me time to adjust when in front of a camera, part of me doesn’t mind it, but there’s also a part of me that would rather not, yet I also find myself thinking about doing it again…..I’m a weird one okay, I’ve accepted it!

I’m also very expressive though, when I’m passionate about something I either talk with my hands or I move my whole body and this even happens when I’m writing, I can’t help it lol! I’m considering it very thoroughly though it’s always in the back of my mind, I feel like if it was something that I felt strongly to do where it kept coming to me…..I’d pick a random day that felt good to do it and then tell you about it after I’ve done it and that’s how you know I went for it by being very curious and then saying you know what “let’s try it” Prepare yourself because that just might happen!

P.S.

I uploaded another episode to my Podcast yesterday so I’m just updating this post to share it, it’s a bit of a weird episode somewhat, but I feel there may be charm with it, possibly lol, if you would like to check it out you can find it here: Let’s Talk: Months & Animal Crossing (Friday Mood) You can also listen to it on Spotify as well!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Let’s Talk: Wrestling For Just A Moment…

Hiya so you probably seen the title, now I know that it’s been quite some time since I’ve spoken upon the topic of wrestling, now I’m only writing this post because I went ahead and spoke about this topic as one of my Podcast episodes, yesterday WWE went and released some of their superstars that have been wrestling for some time now and I felt very surprised with some that they announced have left the company and I had a few thoughts about it so I went ahead and made an episode on it yesterday, however I did forget one person when talking about the wrestlers that had been released and that person was Alesister Black!

I don’t know why I forgot to mention that he’d been released along with the ones I did mention, but for some reason it slipped my mind and thinking about it now…..maybe I forgot to mention him because, he’s probably one of the wrestlers that does leave me surprise on his release of the the company, when I watched wrestling I always thought him to be a very good and well rounded talent that WWE had at the time and to now know that he’s no longer there is a bit weird and probably a big mistake on WWE’s part for choosing to let him go!

That being said however, I also feel that with some of the other announced releases in the likes of Braun Stroman, Lana (I stick by that) Ruby Riott and even the ones that I never really got into….there was so much potential with some of them and for WWE to just say “Sayonora” I don’t know, like I feel they could’ve been used better, most of them had just been sitting on the side lines and if they did get a push or have a match, it just wasn’t all that memorable and that’s where it’s both sad and frustrating when you’re a wrestling fan or even just someone that has watched it a bit and can see potential with some wrestlers and then see them not get used in the way that you would’ve liked them to…

It’s just a shame to see these wrestlers go because in one point in time, they had this great starting career and respected and loved them and if they didn’t love them they still shared their feelings on them and eventually learned to grow with some of them, it’s just crazy, but I know that wherever they venture off too now, I’m sure they’re going to do great things, I wish them all well and I hope they find what their looking for in their next adventure and hopefully they get given a better opportunity that makes they feel happy when doing what they love!

Part of me writing this was to mention Alesister Black because I forgot to mention him, but I wish him well and I know with him, he’s going to get a lot of offers, wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up in AEW, but I wish him well as well as everyone else!

P.S.

If you would like to listen to that Podcast episode of mine that I mentioned earlier, you can check it out here: Let’s Talk: Wrestling (Thoughts on the recent releases) You can also listen to it on Spotify, I talk a good amount on it there as well as here, both similar thought, but also different ones as well, hope you enjoy!

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Pondering Of Emotions….

You ever feel a certain emotion, but you’re just too afraid to talk about that emotion!? Something in you wants to express truthfully to the feelings you feel, but you don’t instead you just ponder about whether or not to be expressive about it! That’s what I’m feeling right now, I know I’m having all these different emotions swimming around in my mind, but I can’t quite bring myself to talk about them and part of that reason is well I don’t like talking about how I actually feel, yet at the same time, I don’t ever know to express about, like I never know where to start, so I always find myself thinking on my emotions trying to gather some kind of words to start off….

For the past 2 days, I’ve been feeling very anxious, I could feel my anxiety jump a few levels too high to where I want them to be and whenever I get anxious I start overthinking and when I over think I go into a panic mode and then become very frustrated with how I’m feeling causing myself to later become emotional right after and I always do it and I always get mad myself for it, I know it’s something I shouldn’t be upset with myself for, but I still do!

I try not to think about it and by trying not think on it, I end up thinking on it more and then I become more frustrated on it, I got a lot of worries in me that I find hard to get rid of and I don’t know why exactly….but I know it doesn’t help to ignore the emotions or have them put away for another time, by not addressing the feelings that we find crowding us a little too much, we create more frustration within ourselves, we never really sit down and ask ourselves why we are feeling the way we are, when we feel them, we look away from them and try and distract ourselves with something else and when we feel them becoming more of a “too close step back a bit” feeling we start getting agitated by it.

We never feel like we’re allowed to feel the things we do, but the best way to handle those unpleasant emotions is to let them be, in a sense of when you feel them, let yourself feel them, don’t fight with them or push them to the side because then that creates more resistance when turning them away…..we have to tell ourselves that it’s okay to be uncomfortable with our not so great emotions, by accepting them, it makes it easier to let them go naturally without all the push backs and anger that we bring to ourselves because of them!

It’s okay to ask and question those emotions because it may help to get to the root of what is actually going on under the surface of it! If we can accept those good feeling moments where we are at our best, why can’t we do the same when we’re feeling at our worst!? There’s no good without the bad and no bad without the good, it’s all in the balance of it all, we need to feel like shit sometimes, we can’t always expect to feel like a bunch of happy dogs running around full of energy, sometimes we need to sit in a corner and just feel whatever it is we are feeling because that’s how we get over them, it’s how we start to feel better!

So if you were to ask me how I’ve been feeling…..I’m just a little Under Pressure at the moment, but I know eventually I’ll be alright! Hope all your days are going well!

P.S.

I only expressed on these emotions after watching a video last night, if you would like to watch that video, you can find it here: How To Control Your Anxiety (as an Empath)

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa

Muskrat Dreaming….

I have to say this title is probably one of my favorites, I only say that because it’s both made me laugh and smile, although I’ve had a few titles that’s done that soooo maybe their also favorites!? Hope you’re all having a good one today and Good morning from where I’m at, maybe it’s morning where some of you are as well, whatever time of day I hope it’s going well! You’re probably wondering why exactly I’ve titled this Muskrat dreaming, well that’s because I had a dream about well….Technically I had a dream about a Pokemon whose evolve form is based around a Muskrat at least it’s one of his evolve forms, the Pokemon that I’m talking about is Raticate…..

Now I’m not necessarily sure why I had this weird dream where Raticate was in this dream of mine, I mean it could of been a whole different animal for all I know, however when I woke up from the dream, Pokemon was the first thing to pop into my head and Rattata was the first thing I searched…..then I learned that It wasn’t Rattata, but it’s 2nd evolve form Raticate and that’s why we’re having this conversation, also it was what looked like Raticate in real time so yeahh,

Now interestingly this Pokemon known to be apart of the mouse/rodent family has three different inspired animals to it, the first is well if you didn’t guess it a Muskrat, the 2nd is apparently a Guinea Pig and the third is what’s called a Coypu!? I’ve went ahead and looked both the Muskrat and Coypu up because I know what a Guinea Pig looks like and it wasn’t the animal that appeared in my dream so I went ahead and left it out of the research…..the Coypu was definitely not the animal to appear in the dream, I think I would remember it’s teeth….plus the animal had more of a golden/light brown type fur and the Coypu has a more dark brownish fur and that’s not what I saw in the dream

The closest and similar animal to Raticate was a Muskrat and each time I look it up, it becomes more of a winner only difference is it was the Pokemon Raticate in real time and not an actual Muskrat….but if we’re really looking at it, Raticate does get it’s inspiration, well one of it’s main inspiration from the Muskrat so it fits the bill pretty darn well, also looking at the pictures it’s so cute!!

Once I learned which animal was the most similar to Raticate that was in my dream, I went a looked up the meaning of When a Muskrat appears in a dream and was surprised, it was a good thing, well depending on what happened in the dream will determine what exactly it means, sometimes it may not always be a good thing, but in my dream Raticate didn’t get hurt and so I choose to see it as a good sign for something, I don’t remember much of the dream except that I guess at some point Raticate was behind something that came down maybe a tree, it was something large anyway and then came from behind it after it went down and then sat by a bush looking at me kinda….like I said it was a very weird dream, I don’t understand it much, but it was good to see a Pokemon within my dream, odd, but good!

Has anyone ever had video game type dreams before or at least had a little bit of inspiration of video games added within their dream, what were they like!?

All The Love ❤ ❤

Lexa