Chatting Session: Letting It Snow While Reflecting & Talking All Things Random (Dec 13, 2018)

Disclaimer: This was written earlier in the day 

That title there kinda makes it sound like I have some kind of super power or something, although I wish I did have some kind of superpower and it would be real nice to control the weather a bit, i’m not storm from X-Men though, so I can’t do that. Even if I did have a superpower I wouldn’t chose to control the weather actually, i’d go with teleportation I don’t know I always thought i’d be cool to just be able to be anywhere you wanted in flash you know!? How about you guys, what would you’re superpower be if you were giving one!? Also I hope you’re all doing well.

Okay now that we’ve talked on what kind of superpowers we’d have if given one, let’s talk snow!! The reasoning for talking about snow is because it’s snowing where I am, not sure when it actually started, but when I woke up it was snowing which then made me start sing one of of my favorite Christmas songs, Let It Snow sung and maybe written by Dean Martin, I know he sings it, but I don’t know if he wrote it, but anyway, I like the snow, not a big fan of the cold, but the snow it’s pretty alright. It always looks so nice when it starts coming down, it starts off slowly and then quickens the more snow there is………I love the peaceful feeling the snow brings, it keeps you calm and when you’re looking at it, you don’t feel stressed, you feel cold, but not overwhelmed or anything like that.

You know it’s quite interesting when you learn that all snowflakes aren’t the same, they all fall a different way, they’re different sizes and shapes, but even though that is true, you know that they all get to the ground eventually. It’s crazy how some of them are very noticeable and then you have those that aren’t as noticeable, some are for a second and others you don’t see them, when there’s a lot of snow though, that’s when you start wanting to sing Winter Wonderland. Seeing a whole blanket full of snow is like being in a whole new world, makes you want to lay in it even though you know that if you did, you’d be freezing………i’m sure it would still feel nice though in a way ha. Everyone loves whenever there’s snow on tress, it’s probably because it gives them some sort of character, you look at them and right away you’re in awe.

The fact that it’s even snowing tells us how close Winter is, it’s literally next week I believe, gotta love the cold weather right!? You know it’s crazy because even though, i’m not a huge fan of the cold, it seems to be the one season that sticks with me through all the seasons, there’s not one day where i’m not super cold, unless it’s very very hot. If I were to turn on the fan I have, give it a few minutes or so and i’ll either be putting on a cardigan or i’m turning it off, that’s how easily cold I get, don’t know why, i’ve just always been the cold one. I’m sure you all know the movie Frozen right!? Well i’m not a huge fan of the movie, it’s not a bad movie it’s just not my favorite, but i’m pretty much Elsa when it comes to the cold, just to give you an idea. 

I’ve been doing some reflecting today a bit, which I tend to do quite often these days I find, maybe this years just a year of reflection I don’t know………Christmas is around the corner, I hope you guys are excited, it’s crazy how close it actually is, once that’s up the New Year will be here………..it feels like 2018 just started and now it’s coming to an end, I guess we say that every year don’t we!? I think it all depends on whether the year made an impact on you or not when it comes to reflecting on it. I think if the year didn’t leave you looking back on it, it wouldn’t feel like anything changed for you, it just would feel like another year.

Everything goes by so quickly, which I can see why they say not to blink otherwise you just might miss something important……..although we have our reflection kind of days, it’s not until you get to the end of the year where you find yourself really looking back on things, I didn’t really start reflecting much until the ending of 2017 for certain reasons, before then I didn’t really look back on the years prior, at least not as much as I have this year. I know we still have a few more days, 2 more weeks until this year is over, so i’ll be reflecting a bit more, as i’m sure you guys will too before we have to look back on 2018 one last time.

Let me know in the comments below what your reflections are for today and feel free to share if your guys are excited for Christmas and if you’re looking forward and are ready for 2019 to arrive.     

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Nathan Fertig on Unsplash

Self Destruction (Dec 12, 2018)

Originally Written Dec 10, 2018

Why do we do it!? Why do we insist on watching ourselves suffer when we know that it’s not right!? Why is it so easy to tear ourselves down then it is to build ourselves up!? We sit and watch ourselves drown in our own sorrows and continue to rip ourselves in half when we feel we aren’t getting things right………we break and we break until we don’t have many pieces left to break. We expect everyone else to fix us and make us feel better, but we always know that deep down, it doesn’t matter how many people help and try and lift us up………..we’ll still feel broken inside and that’s because we’ve broken down ourselves so much that, although we want and try and let people in, we always end up pushing them away or trying to push them away when they try to help us, because we feel what’s the point!?

We can’t even fix ourselves so, how are we meant to let others help us if we can’t even help ourselves!? I mean we’re the one who chose to stay this way right!? We could fix ourselves and be better, yet we prefer to keep ourselves the way we are, on the ground or by locking ourselves away and choosing to stay isolated……..we chose to not try, we’d rather just dwell and keep ourselves just sitting in the dirt not wanting to change, why!? Why do we do that, why can’t we just fight ourselves, breakaway and set ourselves free!? We have the potential don’t we!? We have the creative mind and heart to go for it right!?…….Right!?

Maybe we don’t, maybe things are great where we are, it’s familiar and safe, I mean sure we fight against ourselves and, and we long for more than what we know and we try to make the most of where we are, even though we know we aren’t happy where we are. We continue to say, “let’s give it another try”, “i’m kinda happy, sorta, i’m trying” or “I don’t know how to move on, so I choose to stay here, because this is all I know………broken is all I know”………….I’m learning that if you try to convince yourself that you’re happy with what you’re doing and where you are, you’re just gonna continue to feel more and more unhappy and when that happens, that’s when you start to overthink and then your emotions start to take over, which then causes you to self destruct. 

There’s a lot of different ways you can self destruct: There’s trying your best to always be perfect, wanting to always make everyone else happy, keeping yourself isolated from everything, not being honest with yourself about your true feelings, keeping yourself in the same situation over and over……….I could sit here and list so many different things. We all self destruct at some point, some of us are good at hiding it and others it’s not always so easy………..the fact that we would rather hurt ourselves though and let ourselves get to the point of self destruction, is selfish and upsetting because it means you don’t care about yourself and when you don’t care about yourself, it’s hard to care about everything else………..you should care, you should be wanting to feel happy.

If you continue to let yourself have breakdowns after breakdowns or constantly make yourself feel like you’re not enough or you aren’t capable of anything, it’s only gonna leave you in a pile of your own destruction, do you really want that!? You have to be your own friend, if you start sabotaging yourself the only person to blame for all that is you, because you have the choice to finally stop yourself from completely destroying and I hope that you do finally stop tearing yourself away, because even though that mind of yours tells you that you aren’t good enough, you know that deep in your heart and soul, you are.

The mind can easily play tricks on you, but it’s you who has the choice to believe what the mind is telling you or fight back and save yourself from having a complete meltdown and if you’ve had meltdowns already, know that it’s okay, we all do, but  don’t think that it’s too late to change the way you are, because it’s not. Sometimes we have to have meltdowns after meltdowns in order to finally realize that what we do to ourselves affect us in a big way whether we think so or not, so please really look to yourself and ask yourself if what you’re doing is worth it and is what your doing making you happy!? If it’s not, then you know what it is you have to do, change it or keep self destructing, the choice is yours……..and I hope that you choose wisely. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~ 

Photo by Volkan Olmez on Unsplash

Chatting Sessions: Let’s Talk The Holidays & What’s On Your Christmas List!?

So as we all know, we’re in our last month of the year 2018, most of the big holidays have come and went and one of the last big holiday’s of the year is coming around the corner in a couple of weeks, 2 weeks to be exact I believe. We are close to entering the season of Winter (although it already feels like it’s Winter) Winter officially arrives next week, so for those who aren’t a big fan of the cold or maybe you are because you’re weird (ha kidding, we all have favorite seasons) be sure to get your Winter gear ready, if you haven’t already done so, because from the feels of it, it’s gonna be quite the season. So keep warm and keep your teas, coffee and or hot chocolates ready for stand by, just so you have something to reach for when you need a little warming up……..but anyway let’s move on and talk about everybody’s favorite holiday (well those who celebrate it) let’s talk about Christmas!!

Okay we all know Christmas is around the corner as I stated earlier and we also know that the holiday is celebrated intensively and brings excitement to people in a lot of different ways. Once we arrive into the cheerful and cold month, we all like to welcome it with open arms while bringing on the decorations, the festive music and of course most peoples favorites, Christmas gifts……….you know when you really think about, have you ever noticed that Christmas is the only holiday that really gets a lot of attention!? I mean think about it, no one gets all hyped up over Easter, Halloween (except for those who really love the holiday) and let’s not even talk about Thanksgiving, people practically almost, always skips over this holiday and the only time we remember it, is when it’s like a week or hey even a few days away.

We literally treat Thanksgiving as if it’s the ugly duckling of all holidays, the only difference is in the ugly duckling story, they learn to appreciate the duck and learn to love it the way it is……….we don’t really appreciate this holiday, which is kinda sad……..because it’s like we know it exist, but we just don’t really care much about it, take Halloween for example: it’s like the 3rd best holiday in my opinion, it comes around we get all excited (well I don’t, I don’t really like Halloween, sorry not sorry) 

We treat Halloween better then we treat Thanksgiving, once the scary holiday is over, we start bringing out the Christmas decorations, we put on the music and prepare for the gift, all before Thanksgiving even arrives………..it’s like walking into a place and you see everyone having a good time and then you show up excited to join, you say something to everyone, they turn around, give you a look and then go back to what they were doing and you’re just standing there awkwardly, with a not hurt smile and that’s what I like to imagine Thanksgiving feeling like every year. 

Moving on though, I know I went off track there, back to Christmas………so like I said we prepare for this holiday a lot earlier before it arrives and I get it, it’s one of those holidays that everyone looks forward to because there’s something about it that just makes you feel good, maybe it’s the Christmas music (totally the Christmas music) it could be the decorations (I mean who doesn’t love decorating, right!?) oooor it’s probably the gifts people look forward to (I don’t have anything for this one) whatever it is (could be the whole holiday) we know we really embrace the holiday season. Now when it come to December, we all get that question, that question that we can’t avoid even if we tried, you know the one………and if you don’t, it goes like this: “So…….what do you want for Christmas!?” yeah that one. 

I’m not saying everyone hates that question, i’m sure there’s a lot of people who once that question is asked, they’re already writing it down on a piece of paper or even before it’s asked their handing you an envelope of all the things that have caught their eye and I know what you’re probably thinking “Why would they have an envelope!?” you don’t know, maybe they’re secret agents of some sort or they just really love the holiday ha, no, but in all seriousness, sometimes that question isn’t easy to answer. I mean when we’re kids, we want everything that is displayed around us and don’t say that’s not true, because you know it is, it’s very true, kids love stuff.

However the older we get, we tend to have trouble really telling those around us what we want for Christmas when the question is asked to us…………i’ve been asked 3 times and more of course, what it is that I want for Christmas, since the beginning of November and when December arrived and the only answer i’m able to give is………”I don’t know.” Every time, well I should say every Christmas i’m asked that question, I never actually know what it is that I want and a lot of people will have a list of things that they saw and was like “I want that” me on the other hand, I don’t write down list of things I want, surprising right!? I write everything else down, just not that.

I don’t know, I always feel the older you get, the things that were once a huge thing, aren’t that huge as much and when it comes to the holidays, at least for me, it just isn’t the same, everyone does their own thing and no one likes spending time together, when it comes to the holidays, you would think that’s what it’s about and then you realize……it’s not, but i’m not trying to bring down anyone’s holiday spirit, you keep those spirits up as high as you can, because you deserve to be excited for it. 

I’m just expressing my thoughts on how it is from my side, but I know that everyone’s different, but anyway back to the whole What’s On Your Christmas List!? topic, I don’t have a lot of things on my Christmas list, whether that’s a mental list or an actual list……….I don’t know, maybe when it comes to me, there isn’t much physical things that I want, if that makes sense!? I mean when you’re younger again you want everything, that’s all because we’re kids and that’s how kids are, they want all the toys and things that interest them, but I haven’t been that way for a long while and maybe that’s just me, who knows………….but anyway, to bring the spirit back up on this post, you know how I talked when people ask you what you want for Christmas and sometimes it’s hard to answer!?

Yeah well, try reverting the question back to the person asking you what you want for Christmas, 9/10, 8/10, depending on the person, their not always gonna know either. If you’re lucky they’ll tell you what it is they want or they’ll either say the same thing saying they’re not sure, they’ll tell you they don’t want anything or you have those kind of people who won’t tell you what they want and when you bring it up, they pretend or act like you didn’t ask the question……….anyone else know these kind of people!? Let me know, I can’t be the only one here.

Overall, no matter how you see the holidays, it’s important to make the most of it and appreciate the things around you as well, as the people you spend your days with and enjoy it as much as you can too, because not everyone is able to celebrate these kind of holidays and if they do celebrate it, they don’t always have people to celebrate it with. You don’t need a lot to have a good holiday, the holidays are meant to be enjoyed and spent with people who mean a lot to you, whether you’re spending it with family, friends or whoever you want to spend it with, as long as you’re having a good time and you have good people around you then that’s all that matters. 

I hope with this post I don’t seem like the Grinch or anything, I know everyone’s different and i’m not saying that you can’t enjoy gifts, because who am I to say that!? The holidays can mean a lot of different things to people and if gifts are something that get you in the holiday spirit, then be happy, jump around and do a dance, no ones stopping you, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on it.

Even though I don’t know what I want for Christmas and I don’t know what to get other people for Christmas, let me know in the comments below what’s on your Christmas list, what the holidays mean to you and let me know how you get in the holiday spirit, i’d love to hear about it!! ^_^ 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Dream Journal: Concerts & Squelette (December 7, 2018)

Hey there everyone I hope you’re all well………….okay so this is another dream journal blog post, I wanted to share a dream I had last night with you guys because I found it to be very interesting, i’m just gonna go straight into it and tell you all the things that I remember about the dream……..okay here we go: 

Here’s what I remember: So i’m not sure how I got there exactly, but the setting was at a concert and I feel I was there with someone else, but i’m not sure who exactly…….I remember being outside like in one those halls where you enter before going to watch the  concert or something, you know like when you walk into a movie theater (Cinema) entrance, anyway so I was out in a hall somewhere I believe and I was looking at who was gonna be playing at the concert I was at. Now i’m not sure whether I was looking at this board in front of me because I was trying get tickets or if I was just curious on who else was gonna be playing!?

There were a lot of people that were listed to be playing in the dream, but there were only two acts I remember very vividly seeing and those two acts were, one of my favorite bands that I love talking about any chance I get, the band PVRIS  and also this other group that i’ve never heard of, they had a very interesting band name though……like if you were looking at it for the first time you wouldn’t quite know how to pronounce it, that’s how weird the name was and when I say weird it’s in a good way.

Again never heard of this band  before, but was kinda interested to see what they were about, also I forgot to say this part, but in the dream every person on the board list of who was playing, were all sold out including PVRIS……but it’s okay no worries, however the only band that wasn’t sold out, was the hard to pronounce band, now you’re probably wondering what’s the bands name right!? Don’t worry i’ll tell you, in the dream they went by the name Squelette, now I just want to let you know that I didn’t remember the whole name when I woke up from the dream, you should’ve seen me this morning trying to figure it out, I only remembered certain letters to the name, which were S Q U E which you can see there’s 3 E’s & 2 T’S, the L yeah……..didn’t stay in my mind, but I had the other ones down pretty nicely.  

I was inside the concert now and my favorite band PVRIS were there, only I think they had just finished their act and went on to introduce the next one which was the unknown band, I remember the lighting in the concert was like……..there was some pinks, or maybe purple and reds happening, something like that anyway…….I was in the crowd and there was a lot of people actually there, I wasn’t super up close, but I could see everything pretty alright in the dream…….After PVRIS introduced the band, I remember seeing this lady with black hair walking up the stage and as she was walking up a few more people who i’m guessing were  the other band members, walked up as well (Ending of Dream)

That was the last thing I remember, I never got to hear them play in the dream, I just saw them and then I woke up. Okay so here’s where it kinda gets both interesting and weird at the same time……..so after waking up, I was trying to figure out what that dream meant especially the name of the band, I went and looked up concert dreams and what they mean and then after looking that up, I tried to look for the name or word that I saw in my dream with the letters that I could remember and you won’t believe what came up!!

Hear this, so i’m looking up the name and I see a word that felt familiar to what was in my dream, so I clicked on it and as you already know because I said it earlier, that name/word was Squelette, I looked it up to see if it was a real thing and it was, I then found out Squelette is French for “Skeleton”…………interesting right!? Well here’s where it gets more interesting. Once I saw that it mean Skeleton and that it was a real word, I said to myself “Okay…….that’s weird” I then got curious and went to see if there was a band named Squelette just like in my dream………didn’t really expect to find anything at all, I was just looking out of curiosity, but I ended up finding something and that something was……..there is actually a band, that go by that name……..not kidding!!

Now in the dream I mentioned there was a lady with black hair, I couldn’t really see her because in the dream I wasn’t that close, I was like middle back row, but wasn’t too far at the same time. I’m not really sure if they had an instrument or not, but I went to see if there was a photo of the band and there was (there were also photo’s of skeletons too, but that’s not important) the first picture I saw was just 3 guys (actually I just looked back at it, not 3 guys, just 2) you want to know who the other person was though!? Yep you guessed it, A LADY. WITH BLACK. HAIR, just like in my dream………..saw another photo of that same band and yeah………THERE’S ACTUALLY A LADY WITH BLACK HAIR THAT’S IN THE BAND…………WHAT!!!? 

Now I know what you’re probably thinking, “that could’ve been any girl with black hair and it’s probably some random band” yeah you’d be right, but I don’t know………it just seems like too much of a coincidence, like it’s weird………I dream about a band with a weird name, I look up that name which turns out to be a real thing and is french for skeleton, then I check to see if there’s a band with that same name, turns out there is and there’s a lady in the band with black hair, just like in my dream………….HOW!? tell me how, because I don’t know, it’s just really weird.

Maybe it is just some random band, who knows……..it’s probably just me, but then again it doesn’t feel like that, it feels like something else, like I just dreamt of an actual band from a different country and place, but never heard of them before!? It felt real, but again maybe it’s just me.

Have you ever had a dream like this, where certain details in it, turn out to be an actual thing in real life!? I don’t know how else to word it, let me know in the comments below if you have though. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Abigail Lynn on Unsplash

Reflection (December 5, 2018)

Hey everyone hope you’re all doing well today, as you all know we’re still in the beginning of the month December, todays the 5th of course and so I thought let’s do a little reflecting on some stuff……….where do we start!? We all do a little reflecting from time to time, sometimes their good and other times they don’t feel the best, but no matter how they come about, they can help even if in the moment it doesn’t seem like it.

Today for me, my reflective state is more on the not sure side of town, I feel alright kinda, I guess…….it’s just i’m not sure on a lot of things and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, I don’t know how to really balance things out or if I do balance things, i’m not sure whether to look at it in a positive light more or the opposite. I don’t really want to look at it in a bad light, it’s just when you feel something, it’s hard to not really look into it a certain way you know!?……..I’m not sure if i’m making sense right now, but I hope you understand what i’m trying to say. 

I’ll just get to the point of why i’m in a reflective mode at the moment. So I was looking to add a different profile photo to my blog site and my social medias, but as I was doing that, I couldn’t help, but look at some of my other photos in my gallery and looking back at them………well i’ll just say it, I smiled for a bit…….and then I found myself getting emotional after………..I don’t know why………okay I do know why, it was because I realized how much I really changed from those photos. In them I would always smile, I would even take random photos of myself when I was having a really good day or if I liked the way I looked, I know that probably sounds real shallow or something, but believe me I wasn’t doing it for attention or anything. 

I’d just take random silly photos because I was happy and those photos I never posted because I didn’t feel the need to, I just felt I wanted to take them so I could look back at them. It sounds crazy I know, but really they were just photos to look back on for me. As I was looking back on them though, I couldn’t help, but go into deep thought mode……….I wrote in my writing journal that most people when they reflect they don’t question their changes, at least I don’t think they do……….me though i’m always going back and forth with my changes, had I not changed would things be different!? I don’t know…….it’s like I have days where I feel the changes that happened to me are i’m sure for the better, but at the same time I also wonder if me changing………was it wrong!? should I have done that!? I don’t know……….

I know a lot of us don’t plan on changing, it just happens and a lot of the time we aren’t prepared for it, I didn’t expect the changes that occurred, to turn things upside down. It’s kinda like being in the middle of an ocean or river………everything’s fine you’re enjoying all that is happening around you and it’s just great, you feel great………then out of nowhere you find that the current of the ocean or river start picking up, at first you think you’re able to handle it and that you will bounce back and everything will be okay again………but then it starts to get worst and the current from the river or ocean, you find is going into speed mode and you’re holding on as best as you can, but you know that it’s not good enough.

You’re trying to stay calm and not panic, but it just keeps getting stronger and faster, now you find yourself starting to freak out “What is happening!?” “Why is this happening” “I don’t know what to do” all of those things keep running in and out of your head, but even though all that is happening, you still do your best to stay calm even though you’re freaking out. After a good while of dealing and going through all that mess, things start to calm down and the current starts to go back to normal a bit………the only thing is now, you find yourself constantly having mental breakdowns and becoming unsure of a lot of things, some days your good, other days your not……..time passes though and you feel a little better, you find yourself kinda getting back into the groove of things, you’re doing the best you can, yet you know that deep down, not only are things not the same entirely………..but neither are you.

You sit with yourself, contemplating in your mind how everything go so out of wack so quickly, what happened!? why did it happen!? and then you kinda start to blame yourself, saying things like “If I hadn’t changed or if I hadn’t done this……..everything would be fine, non of this would’ve happened”……….It’s crazy you know, that saying that goes ” A lot can happen within a year” is true, you could go from feeling the greatest that you’ve ever felt in a long time, to constantly feeling unsure of everything and constantly wondering………now maybe all that is for the better, who’s to say it isn’t right!?

Sometimes though, it’s that curious side to us that has to always wonder whether it is or not. Even if we ended up getting caught in a huge current, that we weren’t prepared for………..we still should look at things from a different perspective, maybe all that was to see how much you could handle, maybe you’ll look back at it and reflect on it differently, who knows………for now, we’ll just do our best and try to take in everything around us again and when the current starts to pick up again, we’ll be as prepared as we can be and hopefully this time it isn’t all that bad.

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~ 

Photo by Michael Niessl on Unsplash

It’s Gonna Be One Of Those Days Today….

You might be wondering what it is that I mean when it comes to the title of this and I don’t even have an answer for you to tell you what it means, but I can do my best to tell you what it feels like………..it feels weird for one and it’s literally just that, i’m just having a very weird day for some reason, I have this sort of feeling to something and I can’t explain what that is exactly. It’s like I feel alright, i’m having an alright day, but i’m just feeling very weird……….it’s hard to describe. it’s like, I don’t know……..I don’t know. Don’t even ask what it is i’m thinking about, not that you would or anything, but if you did, I wouldn’t be able to tell you anyway, does that happen to you guys!? 

Do you ever have days where, you feel fine and alright, but at the same time you also feel a little odd too!? If I had to describe it in someway I would describe it as like confusing. It’s confusing because you know you’re feeling a certain way, but you don’t know why or what that feeling your feeling is exactly, does that make sense!? I have no idea if what i’m talking about makes sense, it probably just looks like random words being mushed together to form a whole lot of sentences. 

It’s just one of those days I guess……

Let me know in the comments if you either are having one of those days as well or if you’ve ever had one of those days. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~ 

Photo by Matt Barrett on Unsplash

Monday Randoms: Welcoming December With Some Random Thoughts Added

Although I know it’s 3 days late into the month, I just want to say welcome December, I hope that you’re doing well. You’re the last month until the new year rolls around……it’s crazy how quickly the year went, the last thing I remember is being lost and stuck in the summer months and now we’re here, December 3rd, beginning of a new month as well as the ending of an old year. I know we still have a few days to go until Christmas arrives and the year goes from 2018 to 2019…….it’s a little scary knowing how close we actually are, will 2019 be a different year, will it be a better one!? I don’t know, all you can do is hope that it will be and do your best to make sure that it is. 

However, we shouldn’t stress ourselves out wondering what’s to come for the new year, we should just always do our best to appreciate and admire the days as they come, doing that won’t leave you to feel overwhelmed about every little thing, you can just enjoy and also flow with it if you want. You know when you really let yourself take in all the days that come, it brings you into a whole different mode and gives you this feeling of wanting to look at everything deeply, it makes you wonder on a lot of different things and by that I mean like if you were to look at a tree or at the clouds, you know……..makes you wonder how exactly they were made, before we even became apart of this world.

The other day, well a few days ago I was in the car with my mom and I was wondering how people we’re able to create the highways and all that, I mean the world wasn’t always highways, roads, houses ect……..it was all nature and everything, it’s crazy when you really think about stuff like that. You also have the way we are, there’s a lot of different theories on where exactly we came from, there’s just a whole lot of wonder and questions that we don’t entirely know the answers to, we know a certain amount, but we’ll always have that wonder inside of us in wanting to know a definite answer on everything.

If you really think about it, having that mystery of not knowing everything exactly, I mean it’s both scary and exciting in a sense. I mean why should we know everything, that’s why when we’re born, we’re born curious…….to us everything is like a huge giant puzzle, only we don’t ever solve it completely. Normally we can finish a puzzle on our own, but in this case it’s impossible, because even when we think we’ve figured it out, we’ll always have pieces missing and that’s okay, we don’t have to solve every puzzle, we’ll always find certain pieces to fill it, but we won’t entirely figure it out and we don’t need to always figure it out, sometimes it’s just about the feeling of it and by it, I mean………..well everything, everything is just a big huge ball of wonder.

Hey that just reminded me of the Wonderball commercial, if you guys don’t know what a Wonderball is, well it just a chocolate ball with candy inside, it was one of mine and my brother’s favorite candy growing up, they brought it back, but it’s not quite the same as it was before.

This sure went off track, didn’t it haha……don’t ask, I just had a lot of random thoughts floating around and felt like writing them down, I just didn’t think it’d be all of this. It was meant to be about the month December, but it kinda took a different turn after a bit, hey it happens. Feel free to share some of your random thoughts down in the comments below if you have you any and also if December was a person, what kind of stuff would you say to it!?

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~  

Photo by Jasmin Schuler on Unsplash

Music Song Review/Song Interpretation: Car Radio By Twenty Øne Pilots (Inspired By Accidental Blogger)

This post was originally written Nov 30th (Last Day Of November) 

Hi there, so today I want to touch upon something different, today I wanted to talk about a song and kinda breakdown the lyrics to what my interpretation of it is, this might seem familiar, I did one on one of my favorite bands (PVRIS) with their song Same Soul and I wanted to try it again, but with a different band this time. I got this idea from another blogger that I recently found by the name Accidental Blogger and in one of the posts that I read from him, he talks about this duo band that i’m sure most of you might know, but also may not know at the same time and that duo band go by the name of Twenty One Pilots.

They’re pretty well known and some might even say that they’re underrated, others might say they’re overrated, I don’t know everyone has different opinions, but whether you love the band, hate them or just aren’t the biggest fan of theirs, but don’t mind them, you do have to give them some credit, because they really know how to make music and their specific way of making music involves dealing with internal issues like mental illness such as depression and other serious things as well.

Now I wouldn’t call myself a Twenty Øne Pilots fanatic or anything, but I do like them, as well as enjoy their music, at least the ones that i’ve heard anyway. In the blog post that I read, he talked about how Twenty One Pilots are his escape when it comes to music, he listens to them when he’s having one of those days and also on regular days when he’s not, so to pretty much sum up the post, he just really loves the band in general. He said the reason he loves TØP is because and i’m gonna quote exactly what he said “Their music is realistic” now hearing their music you probably would agree with him, I mean I sure do…….listen to some of their lyrics to their songs and tell me if they aren’t deep and real with it too, just saying!?

Anyway moving on to the title of this blog post, let’s talk the song Car Radio and try our best to breakdown the lyrics to it. Now i’m only breaking down a certain part in the song because it had me really think about it when I read it properly, the lyrics are: 

“Oh dear, I don’t know if we know why we’re here
Oh my, too deep – please stop thinking
I liked it better when my car had sound
 “

There’s a whole lot more that go with these lyrics, but the reason I want to talk on this one is because when I read it, I was a little taken back, not because of the lyrics, but because when you really think about it after reading that line, you might find yourself thinking “wait why are we actually here!?” and then it might cause you to go into deep thought mode wondering why………but to put that thought aside and really sit with these lyrics, trying to break them down and understand them better, in this whole song if you’ve ever listened to it or if you’ve never heard it before, the whole premise of it from my interpretation is pretty much well…….how do I explain it in a way that would make sense!?……..

Okay think of it this way: You’re trying to sleep at night, you feel relaxed you start to unwind and drift into dreamland, uhh, but wait!! Your mind has other plans for you and those plans are to stay up and contemplate EVERY. SINGLE. THING. yeah……I know, what I just described is basically what the song is about to me, just one sleepless night only, you’re not sleeping, you’re in a car and you have no radio whatsoever, because someone stole it and now you’re stuck with your own thoughts.

Fun fact actually……well not really it’s kinda sad a bit, but the song actually came to life because the front singer of TØP, his name is Tyler and……well here’s a quote from him explaining it which says……..I was late to class and I forgot to lock my door and when I came back out everything had been gutted and stolen out my car.” So yeah, that’s how the song was born.

Let’s move on to the rest of the lyrics that follow the song Car Radio, this is where it gets super super deeep, because in the song he talks about how, because he has no radio in his car, he’s now left thinking……..and we all know what happens when we start thinking and I mean really thinking. It may start fine, you know you think random things like “hmmm I wonder who was the first person to eat a taco and what was their reaction the first time they had it!? Did they love it or did they hate it!?” Then out of nowhere your mind takes a sharp turn down a dark road and now you find yourself thinking of every thought and emotion you thought were long buried, to only realize you didn’t bury them deep enough……….and other random things too. This whole song, is  filled with all the thoughts you can think of, put together into one song which to me is incredible, when you really read into it.

Now there’s a specific part in this song that I want to talk about a bit, because of how deep it is, I was reading it back to myself to kinda get a better understanding so I could interpret it better and I have no words, i’ll try and find some in a second, but first let’s look at the the lyric that i’m talking about which goes: 

I’m forced to deal with what I feel
There is no distraction to mask what is real

I know this is just a short line of words, but those lyrics, that lyric alone, is deep and mind blowing. There’s no other way to interpret that, because just by reading that line………you become speechless like……….when I read it, all I could say was, that’s deep and that was it, you don’t need an explanation to what that means because it’s really clear, I could go into it, but it’ll just end up being a whole new topic and I want to try and keep this post from drifting off.

The writing style that TØP have with their songs including Car Radio like, most people wouldn’t even dare try and cross that line, because it’s just too real, not many people want to go that deep because to them, it’s a very scary place to go, only because it forces you to deal with those demons that we all have inside that we just aren’t ready to cope with……….but Twenty Øne Pilots however, yeah they aren’t afraid to go there, because that’s how they work, that’s the writing style they chose to go with and I feel like that’s why a lot of people can relate to them because their music is so relatable, also their personalities are one of a kind which is probably another reason a lot of people like them so much.

I’ve only observed them once when they won I believe two awards, I can’t remember which award show it was, all I know is that they won twice. I feel, it might’ve been for their song stressed out and also maybe breakout duo band or something, I don’t know, don’t quote me on it, but I remember watching them when it was announced that they won and they could not believe it whatsoever, I think they didn’t even have a speech prepared because they they didn’t think they’d win……..but to touch on their personalities from that award show, you can tell that they aren’t for the fame at all, they’re just all for the music and the way they are, their just chilled guys who are very, very humble and don’t really care that much on making it mainstream, because for them again it’s all about the music, which is great because I love it when you have bands or artists that you can really hear and see how much they care about their work and the music that they’re making, that’s the kind of people I like.

Also I was remembering a part in the award show when they won the second time I think and Tyler made Josh say something, I believe he said something along the lines of “I’m trying to get him to talk more, because he doesn’t talk much” i’m not sure if those were his exact words or if it was close to what he said, but I thought that was funny, also I think Tyler was talking more on Josh talking more when it comes to award shows or something but i’m not entirely sure, but yeah, I think i’m gonna have to look more into TØP, because i’ve really enjoyed talking and writing about them, I didn’t think i’d write this much.

If you want to check out the blog post I was talking about, you can find it here: https://writingmyheartout25.wordpress.com/2018/08/26/music-my-escape/ and while you’re looking at that post check out Accidental Blogger’s other posts and show them some love and support as well while you at it, i’m sure they’d really appreciate it, also feel free to share your interpretations on Car Radio if you’ve heard it in the comments below, thank you and I hope you all have a goodnight/morning and or evening. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~ 

Source for the lyrics: https://genius.com