Mistakes….

We all make them, we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t would we!? They say that mistakes are apart of our lives journey, which you can’t really disagree with I guess……..although we shouldn’t give ourselves so much pressure for the mistakes that we make or made, we always do even when they’re old mistakes. Now you would think that it’d be easy to let go of old mistakes and if you thought that, well you would be a little wrong there, because it’s not always easy especially when they’re past mistakes and they’re ones that we have a hard time letting ourselves escape from, as we all know, a lot of us don’t really know how to let go of old things.

Even though we may try………we’re not really good at letting go of the past even when we know we should………I guess it also depends on the kind of person you are as well on whether you’ll able to let go of past things or not. I don’t even know why it is we feel the need to hold on to things that only do us more harm then good, that’s why a lot of us tend to be unhappy and stressed out all the time because we are always focusing on the old things and things from the past, to all the mistakes that we’ve ever made.

We do it all the time, if we didn’t like something we did or that happened, we always think of different things or scenarios that could’ve possibly turned out better than what originally took place, thinking that it’ll change something and the reality of it is, it won’t, it’s not gonna change, no matter how much you want it to change and go back to what it use to be like, it’s not and it’s like we know that, yet we can’t get that into our brains at the same time……….the mistakes that we make or the things that happen, we can’t change them and a lot of us try so hard to fix things that we know are unfixable which then leaves us disappointed, because no matter what we do, we know deep down it’s not gonna be the same as it once was.

At the same time………we can’t say that we don’t know that, we do know it, we just always have that thing in us that wonders on a different outcome to a situation or thing instead of the outcome that we’ve got, no matter how hard we may try and how much we may want it, we can’t change something once it’s happened……….so what can you do!? Well as much as i’d like to say just let it go, I also know that it’s not easy to just let things go like that, we’ll always have those emotions that came with the situation or thing that happened, we’ll always go back and think about all these different scenarios and outcomes that we would’ve liked to happened.

Even knowing that though, I know holding on to past events isn’t any better either, no matter what you choose though, it’s gonna be extremely hard either way………………We always feel as though because we made the mistakes that we made, we make ourselves think we need to continue suffering those mistakes even if they were in the past and we need to realize that, we don’t have to do that, we don’t need to feel as though, because we did the things we did and looking at the way it made everything turn out because of it, it doesn’t mean we have to keep tearing ourselves down for it………..what i’m trying to say is, we all make mistakes and we’re going to continue to make mistakes……..and although it’s hard to move ahead and it’s a lot easy to go back blaming ourselves for all the things that happened in the past and everything.

We gotta try and move on from it and know that it’s okay to fall and have a few downs, it’s okay to mess up and make mistakes, like I said before mistakes are apart of our lives journey, they aren’t always the best and sometimes our mistakes can make a mess of things more than what we’d like them to, but mistakes happen and we’re not always gonna be able to change them, but one thing we can do is learn from them and try and change certain things within ourselves as best as we can, we’re not perfect we’re just human and sometimes we hit a wall and that’s okay.

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Music Album Review: Paramore’s After Laughter Album (Dec 19, 2018)

Originally Written Dec 17

Hey there everyone, okay so i’m not sure how long this is gonna be, it might be very long, but it might not be at the same time, we’ll just see as we go along. I hope you guys are all doing well, today I wanted to discuss and review an album, i’ve never reviewed an album before, only certain songs, but I thought i’d give it a try and just see how I do with it, today we’re gonna be discussing Paramore and their latest album After Laughter. Now for those who don’t know Paramore well they’re a band of course, their genre of music goes from: Alternative rock, Pop punk, Pop rock ect….

Obviously when you’re a band or an artist, you tend to want to change your sound if you’re feeling you want to mix it up a bit, instead of always sticking to the same one, now before we talk Paramore’s latest album, I just want to kinda do a little backstory on them just so you can learn more about them, so without further ado, let’s talk a bit about Paramore: Paramore’s first debut album was All We Know Is Falling which came out back in 2005 and featured songs like Pressure, Emergency and Conspiracy, now i’ve heard Pressure and I believe i’ve heard Emergency not sure on Conspiracy, but at the same time I feel I might’ve heard it once or something i’m not sure.

Their 2nd album Riot! came out in 2007 one of the famous songs from that album is the good ole’ classic Misery Business, as well as other songs like CrushCrushCrush, That’s What You Get and one of my favorites When It Rains. Now even though Paramore had made two albums and all these lovely songs, it wasn’t until their breakout hit Decode to where they started to become well known and very popular. Decode featured on a popular hit movie that i’m sure all of you are aware of and if you’re not then don’t worry it’s okay, you’re not really missing much in my opinion, but the song appeared and was one of the featured tracks off the famous movie Twilight.

Everyone (mainly teen girls) loved Twilight, if you haven’t heard of it again don’t worry about it, but if you have, you know what i’m talking about here, there was even teams made from that movie, not kidding!! Twilight came out in 2008, it’s about this sparkling vampire guy named Edward, a teen girl, I think her name is Bella and a werwolf name Jacob, there’s more to the movie of course, but i’m not gonna go into it because this is about Paramore, I just thought since I brought up Twilight, might as well give you a brief description on it.

As I said before Decode was one of the featured songs off there and was actually very popular too, I remember coming across that song because the music video was on and also because it was one of those songs that was just everywhere, no matter where you went, you would be sure to hear that song. I can’t remember exactly, but I believe I wasn’t too fond of the song at first and i’ll be honest I think I might’ve judged it quickly because of the fact that I didn’t like Twilight (still don’t really like Twilight) I do however like the song decode now though. Decode also appeared on Paramore’s 3rd album I believe, Brand New Eyes, along with the songs Ignorance, Playing God and Brick By Boring Brick making it’s debut in 2009. They have more albums, but those are just a few of them that I wanted to talk about, but let’s get on to their new/latest album After Laughter and talk about the songs.

These are the songs off the album with small descriptions to them, all the songs are about Hayley Williams and her bands personal life:

1. Hard Times– Is pretty self explanatory, it’s all on Hard times and how even though we have them we don’t ever hit rock bottom (that’s an actual line in the song)

2. Rose-Colored Boy– This one is a little hard, but I think it has to do with someone who’s always so optimistic, while everyone else isn’t.

3. Told You So– This ones all about having those people who love to look for and call you out on your mistakes and love the whole Told you so line that Hayley sings about in the song.

4. Forgiveness– Is on the personal side of town, Hayley sings about not being able to forgive someone that hurt her really badly.

5. Fake Happy– Is a very clear song about pretending you’re happy when you’re not, but also knowing that you’re not the only one feeling that way.

6. 26– Is about keeping hold of what’s left of your hope and happiness the older you get, so this is one of her reflective songs.

7. Pool– Is metaphoric dark love song, you’ll have to hear it to understand it

8. Grudges– Pretty self explanatory, it’s all about letting go of grudges that we hold against someone.

9. Caught In The Middle-Is what I would probably say to be a reflection songs on Hayley early days in Paramore as well as her life in general.

10. Idle Worship-Is a song to all of her fans where she expresses that she shouldn’t be looked at as an idol.

11. No Friend– Is a letter she wrote to her fans, but it’s not sung, it’s spoken and she doesn’t speak the words, but a friend of hers does and it’s pretty interesting, different, but I like it.

12. Tell Me Now– Is…….i’m actually gonna let this one speak for itself, so give it a listen if you’re curious.

Now a lot of people complain about Paramore’s new sound and everything, but in all honesty I like their new sound, it’s different, but good different in my opinion. I think what it is that people don’t like about Paramore sound is the fact that’s it’s all poppy sounding now and I get having a favorite artist or band and knowing them from when they first started and being so used to the music they use to make, we all would love to have our favorites stay with the same thing, but at the same time if they feel they need to grow and want to experiment with other sounds then who are we to say they can’t.

These artists and bands make music not for us mainly, they write their songs from personal experiences that they share with us and maybe it’s different to how they use to do it, but if they decide they want a different sound then they have every right to change it up, I mean it is their music, we aren’t in any position to demand they stick with the new sound or old sound at all. If we really love that said band or artist we will grow with them and their music without hesitation, plus I always feel that sometimes it’s good to change it up as well as giving things a chance before judging it right off the bat……..I like their new sound, but that’s because I like Paramore and again if they felt in their hearts they needed to change something with their music then you gotta trust and embrace them on their sound, even if you may not like it.

Also if you think that these songs are just pop songs really listen to the lyrics, just because a song is upbeat doesn’t mean that the lyrics don’t have a deeper meaning to them, this whole album is upbeat with the exception of 26, Tell Me Now & Forgiveness (theses are the songs I consider to be not so poppy, but still great songs) The lyrics hidden behind the poppy dance music are actually very deep and dark when you really listen to it.

It’s all about reading between the lines, with this album and I love it, i’ve become very obsessed with this album and I just heard it the other day, some of my favorites are: Fake Happy, 26, Hard Times, Tell Me Now, Rose Colored Boy & Caught In The Middle, these are the songs i’m constantly playing over and over, although I love the whole album in general, it’s great, but Paramore has always been great, even with the sound change they’re still an awesome band, but that’s just my opinion.

Let me know your thoughts on After Laughter, have you heard it and if so what are your favorite tracks from it!?

All The Love ❤ ❤

~Lexa~

Music Song Review/Song Interpretation: She Used To Be Mine By Sara Bareilles (Inspired Post) (Dec 14, 2018)

Originally Written Dec 9, 2018

Hey there everyone, hope you’re all doing well, today I want to talk music and the artist and song that i’d like to talk about today is Sara Bareilles and her song She Used To Be Mine. Just to give you guys a heads up, I actually wrote this post a couple of days ago, but didn’t really get around to finishing it, until now. I had the song in my head for two days and so I thought, let’s talk on it and while we’re at it, let’s see if we’re able to interpret the song as well.

So to kinda introduce Sara Bareilles a bit, just in case you aren’t completely sure on who she is, Sara is a musician well a singer/songwriter, you might have heard a few of her songs before, she had this one song that was pretty popular back in the early 2000’s called Love Song. I think that was actually her breakout hit, but i’m not sure, so don’t quote me on it. You might’ve also heard Brave which is another popular song from her, i’m sure there’s a lot of songs that are very well known, but for those of you who have heard the songs or they sound familiar to you, well she’s the one who sings them, in case you didn’t know.

She’s also an actress, but is known for musicals mainly, i’m not sure if she’s been in movies or anything, but I know that she has starred in a couple of Broadway musicals before. You might be aware of one, the most recent musical that she’s been in is called Waitress, I think she’s a writer to that musical, I don’t think to the play, but I believe she wrote a few songs for it.

She of course has her own music, I have two of her albums…….well one is her album and the other one is the soundtrack to the musical Waitress, the album that I have is called The Blessed Unrest which came out in 2013, you can find the song Brave on that one and as for the other song that I mentioned before, Love Song can be found on her album Little Things which came out in 2007, there’s a whole lot of other albums and songs that she has, but those are the two that I thought i’d talk on a bit since those are the two songs that most people might know from her.

Moving on though to the song that inspired me to write this post, now if you didn’t know or maybe you did, the song Used To Be Mine comes from the musical Waitress……..now i’ve never watched Waitress, but i’ve been wanting to watch it ever since I heard Sara Bareilles was gonna be apart of it, but it would only be for a short time and every time I would think of checking it out……I would always miss her, but I found out a few days ago that she’s coming back for a few more shows next month and will only be there until February, so I still have a chance to go see the musical and see her as well in it, I heard that it’s very good, so I really want to check it out.

Let’s go on with the song shall we!? Used To Be Mine is one of my favorite songs from Sara Bareilles, it’s a very beautiful song, when you hear it, it just grabs you and pulls you in, at least that’s what it does to me when I hear it. The lyrics are very deep and let’s not even forget the piano that brings it all together as well as the other instruments with it………..I can’t even describe it, it’s just amazing, we’ll just say that!! The song is just great as a whole and Sara’s voice with it, just brings the song to life in a way that……..is just hard to explain, it’s like………I don’t know how to describe it, all I can say is, you really feel the song and the emotion that she brings to it, if you haven’t heard the song, listen to it, really listen to it, you’ll know what I mean when you do.

Now I know that everyone will most likely interpret this song in many different ways, which is expected when listening to a song, even if the artist themselves tell you exactly what the song means, you’ll always have your own meanings for it. When I first heard this song, i’m sure it got to me, I can’t really remember my actual reaction of it, but every time I hear it now, the lyrics, reading it and the song in general, gives you that feeling of woah because you connect with it right away and for a lot of people like myself it’s relatable.  

Here are some of the lyrics to the song: 

It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron, that place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them

It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used be, although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl

She’s imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies

She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine

I was originally gonna break down the lyrics to this song, but I decided instead I want to let it speak for itself, looking at these lyrics, there isn’t any other way to interpret them. I tried to break these lyrics down and I was having trouble doing so and that’s why I would rather the lyrics do the speaking then me try and break them down and my words end up all over the place you know!? That being said, my interpretation on this song, my meaning for it, is completely, different to it’s actual meaning. It might be the same, but it’s also very different………..In the song she’s pretty much reflecting on the way her life is and looking back on who she once was, compared to who she is now……..from the lyrics you can see that the reflection that she’s expressing, she isn’t all too fond of the way things are going, but also from a different angle you can also see the emotions that she’s feeling, is more on the scared side of town and being confused and just overall thinking about everything that has happened.

In the chorus you can see that she is aware of all the flaws that she carries with her from being imperfect, to saying that, although she says that she’s good, she isn’t truthful about her actual feelings, she’s her own worst enemy when it comes to wanting to get things right and even though she knows that she needs help and is broken inside, she won’t let people know that, because to her it’s being vulnerable and she’d rather pretend that she’s fine then have people see that she’s hurting and unhappy, so that’s the first part and chorus (Hook, to be more technical) of the song.

Here’s more of the lyrics from the song:

It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true

And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew

Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised and gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day ’til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but used to be mine
Used to be mine

So this part of the song, i’m not even gonna break it down or interpret it, at least not all of them, certain parts I will, but only to interpret what I originally thought it was about. As you can see there’s a lot more emotion put into this part and you can probably figure out what it’s about or maybe you already know because you’ve heard the song already, but i’m not gonna tell you what the actual meaning to this song is, because I want to see if you’re able to figure it out if you don’t know what the actual  meaning to it is.

This part of the song always makes me want to get emotional, in this part of the song, it picks up and becomes a lot more intense to where you really feel it, you don’t even have to listen to it to feel it, just reading these lyrics, if you’re like me and love finding out the meaning to songs and pretty much everything else, you feel it……….not just the song, but you feel for the writer of the song as well, because they went out of their way to write this powerful, emotional and touching song that just leaves you speechless, they didn’t have to write any of it, but they did because although it was extremely personal, they still felt they needed to share it, which is incredible. 

Now here’s the part where I tell you my interpretation on the song, well certain parts of the song that is and what I thought it mean’t. In the second verse, if you look at the lyrics……..there’s a part in it where she talks about, the way life does things and how it presents you with something or someone in this case, pretty much throwing you off which is why she says to herself that if she could, she’d go back and change a couple of things and have it play out a different way to how it turned out to be.

In that whole part, you can kinda pick up that she’s self reflecting, whenever she sees and feels that she’s different and is completely disconnected from her old self in a way. She sees this new version of her and is having a hard time relating and embracing it in a way, which is why she sings the lines “You’re not what I asked for, if i’m honest, I know I would give it all back for a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two, for the girl that I knew” Those lines right there, are one of the lines I relate to and i’m sure a lot of you do too if you know the song. 

I’ve changed a lot this year and I can’t tell whether it’s good or not, for me it’s half and half, but I know that a lot of us go through a change that we weren’t really expecting and sometimes we change and become a whole new person, which we know means that we’re growing and coming into our own in a way, but sometimes it’s hard because when you’ve been a certain way for so long and something or even a few things start to change with you or about you, it’s like you’re meeting and seeing this whole new person, but you aren’t exactly sure how you feel about it.

Being someone you don’t recognize, when you thought, you knew the kind of person you were, automatically you’re gonna want to go back and change a few things, but you know that you can’t, so it’s like you’re completely stuck with this new version of you that you really didn’t ask for and even though, you try to get back somehow, you feel deep down somewhere that, no matter how hard you try, you’re not gonna get  that version of you back, at least not in the same way you always had her or him.  

The last part of the song that I want to talk about is the part where she sings: “She’ll get stuck and be scared of the life that’s inside her, growing stronger each day, til it finally reminds her, to fight just a little and bring back the fire in her eyes, that’s been gone, but used to be mine” Now this part always gives me goosebumps and sometimes leaves me emotional, because I relate to it so much for a reason that is hard to explain, I love that line, it’s one of my favorites in the song, it’s just one of those lines that speak to you on a deeper level and that’s why I love this song so much, because there’s certain parts in it that I feel and connect with emotionally.

The actual meaning to it, knowing it now, when you hear it, it makes sense and you won’t be able to see it as anything else as much once you know the actual meaning, but for me when I first heard it, I interpreted it in a completely different way to how it is originally, the meaning I took from that part is a very personal one, but overall I looked at the song as her singing about self reflection as well as self discovery.

It’s amazing how you can listen to a song and even when you find out the actual meaning to that song, we still create our own interpretation for it. I can see why a lot of artist when you ask them what’s the meaning to a song that they’ve written, a lot of the time they won’t say because 1. they know even when they tell us the meaning, they know that we’ll just come up with our own and 2. sometimes their songs don’t really have a deep meaning behind it, sometimes the song just comes to them without having a specific backstory on it and if there is one, it’s just a random one.

That’s why a lot of them just say they’ll leave it up for interpretation so they won’t have to give it away or sometimes it’s just too personal that they would rather have people come up with their own meaning then have it be explained. So that is all I have for this post, let me know in the comments below, what your thoughts are on this song, have you heard it and if you have, feel free to share your interpretations on it. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Lyrics Source: https://genius.com/Sara-bareilles-she-used-to-be-mine-lyrics

Chatting Session: Letting It Snow While Reflecting & Talking All Things Random (Dec 13, 2018)

Disclaimer: This was written earlier in the day 

That title there kinda makes it sound like I have some kind of super power or something, although I wish I did have some kind of superpower and it would be real nice to control the weather a bit, i’m not storm from X-Men though, so I can’t do that. Even if I did have a superpower I wouldn’t chose to control the weather actually, i’d go with teleportation I don’t know I always thought i’d be cool to just be able to be anywhere you wanted in flash you know!? How about you guys, what would you’re superpower be if you were giving one!? Also I hope you’re all doing well.

Okay now that we’ve talked on what kind of superpowers we’d have if given one, let’s talk snow!! The reasoning for talking about snow is because it’s snowing where I am, not sure when it actually started, but when I woke up it was snowing which then made me start sing one of of my favorite Christmas songs, Let It Snow sung and maybe written by Dean Martin, I know he sings it, but I don’t know if he wrote it, but anyway, I like the snow, not a big fan of the cold, but the snow it’s pretty alright. It always looks so nice when it starts coming down, it starts off slowly and then quickens the more snow there is………I love the peaceful feeling the snow brings, it keeps you calm and when you’re looking at it, you don’t feel stressed, you feel cold, but not overwhelmed or anything like that.

You know it’s quite interesting when you learn that all snowflakes aren’t the same, they all fall a different way, they’re different sizes and shapes, but even though that is true, you know that they all get to the ground eventually. It’s crazy how some of them are very noticeable and then you have those that aren’t as noticeable, some are for a second and others you don’t see them, when there’s a lot of snow though, that’s when you start wanting to sing Winter Wonderland. Seeing a whole blanket full of snow is like being in a whole new world, makes you want to lay in it even though you know that if you did, you’d be freezing………i’m sure it would still feel nice though in a way ha. Everyone loves whenever there’s snow on tress, it’s probably because it gives them some sort of character, you look at them and right away you’re in awe.

The fact that it’s even snowing tells us how close Winter is, it’s literally next week I believe, gotta love the cold weather right!? You know it’s crazy because even though, i’m not a huge fan of the cold, it seems to be the one season that sticks with me through all the seasons, there’s not one day where i’m not super cold, unless it’s very very hot. If I were to turn on the fan I have, give it a few minutes or so and i’ll either be putting on a cardigan or i’m turning it off, that’s how easily cold I get, don’t know why, i’ve just always been the cold one. I’m sure you all know the movie Frozen right!? Well i’m not a huge fan of the movie, it’s not a bad movie it’s just not my favorite, but i’m pretty much Elsa when it comes to the cold, just to give you an idea. 

I’ve been doing some reflecting today a bit, which I tend to do quite often these days I find, maybe this years just a year of reflection I don’t know………Christmas is around the corner, I hope you guys are excited, it’s crazy how close it actually is, once that’s up the New Year will be here………..it feels like 2018 just started and now it’s coming to an end, I guess we say that every year don’t we!? I think it all depends on whether the year made an impact on you or not when it comes to reflecting on it. I think if the year didn’t leave you looking back on it, it wouldn’t feel like anything changed for you, it just would feel like another year.

Everything goes by so quickly, which I can see why they say not to blink otherwise you just might miss something important……..although we have our reflection kind of days, it’s not until you get to the end of the year where you find yourself really looking back on things, I didn’t really start reflecting much until the ending of 2017 for certain reasons, before then I didn’t really look back on the years prior, at least not as much as I have this year. I know we still have a few more days, 2 more weeks until this year is over, so i’ll be reflecting a bit more, as i’m sure you guys will too before we have to look back on 2018 one last time.

Let me know in the comments below what your reflections are for today and feel free to share if your guys are excited for Christmas and if you’re looking forward and are ready for 2019 to arrive.     

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Nathan Fertig on Unsplash

Self Destruction (Dec 12, 2018)

Originally Written Dec 10, 2018

Why do we do it!? Why do we insist on watching ourselves suffer when we know that it’s not right!? Why is it so easy to tear ourselves down then it is to build ourselves up!? We sit and watch ourselves drown in our own sorrows and continue to rip ourselves in half when we feel we aren’t getting things right………we break and we break until we don’t have many pieces left to break. We expect everyone else to fix us and make us feel better, but we always know that deep down, it doesn’t matter how many people help and try and lift us up………..we’ll still feel broken inside and that’s because we’ve broken down ourselves so much that, although we want and try and let people in, we always end up pushing them away or trying to push them away when they try to help us, because we feel what’s the point!?

We can’t even fix ourselves so, how are we meant to let others help us if we can’t even help ourselves!? I mean we’re the one who chose to stay this way right!? We could fix ourselves and be better, yet we prefer to keep ourselves the way we are, on the ground or by locking ourselves away and choosing to stay isolated……..we chose to not try, we’d rather just dwell and keep ourselves just sitting in the dirt not wanting to change, why!? Why do we do that, why can’t we just fight ourselves, breakaway and set ourselves free!? We have the potential don’t we!? We have the creative mind and heart to go for it right!?…….Right!?

Maybe we don’t, maybe things are great where we are, it’s familiar and safe, I mean sure we fight against ourselves and, and we long for more than what we know and we try to make the most of where we are, even though we know we aren’t happy where we are. We continue to say, “let’s give it another try”, “i’m kinda happy, sorta, i’m trying” or “I don’t know how to move on, so I choose to stay here, because this is all I know………broken is all I know”………….I’m learning that if you try to convince yourself that you’re happy with what you’re doing and where you are, you’re just gonna continue to feel more and more unhappy and when that happens, that’s when you start to overthink and then your emotions start to take over, which then causes you to self destruct. 

There’s a lot of different ways you can self destruct: There’s trying your best to always be perfect, wanting to always make everyone else happy, keeping yourself isolated from everything, not being honest with yourself about your true feelings, keeping yourself in the same situation over and over……….I could sit here and list so many different things. We all self destruct at some point, some of us are good at hiding it and others it’s not always so easy………..the fact that we would rather hurt ourselves though and let ourselves get to the point of self destruction, is selfish and upsetting because it means you don’t care about yourself and when you don’t care about yourself, it’s hard to care about everything else………..you should care, you should be wanting to feel happy.

If you continue to let yourself have breakdowns after breakdowns or constantly make yourself feel like you’re not enough or you aren’t capable of anything, it’s only gonna leave you in a pile of your own destruction, do you really want that!? You have to be your own friend, if you start sabotaging yourself the only person to blame for all that is you, because you have the choice to finally stop yourself from completely destroying and I hope that you do finally stop tearing yourself away, because even though that mind of yours tells you that you aren’t good enough, you know that deep in your heart and soul, you are.

The mind can easily play tricks on you, but it’s you who has the choice to believe what the mind is telling you or fight back and save yourself from having a complete meltdown and if you’ve had meltdowns already, know that it’s okay, we all do, but  don’t think that it’s too late to change the way you are, because it’s not. Sometimes we have to have meltdowns after meltdowns in order to finally realize that what we do to ourselves affect us in a big way whether we think so or not, so please really look to yourself and ask yourself if what you’re doing is worth it and is what your doing making you happy!? If it’s not, then you know what it is you have to do, change it or keep self destructing, the choice is yours……..and I hope that you choose wisely. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~ 

Photo by Volkan Olmez on Unsplash

Chatting Sessions: Let’s Talk The Holidays & What’s On Your Christmas List!?

So as we all know, we’re in our last month of the year 2018, most of the big holidays have come and went and one of the last big holiday’s of the year is coming around the corner in a couple of weeks, 2 weeks to be exact I believe. We are close to entering the season of Winter (although it already feels like it’s Winter) Winter officially arrives next week, so for those who aren’t a big fan of the cold or maybe you are because you’re weird (ha kidding, we all have favorite seasons) be sure to get your Winter gear ready, if you haven’t already done so, because from the feels of it, it’s gonna be quite the season. So keep warm and keep your teas, coffee and or hot chocolates ready for stand by, just so you have something to reach for when you need a little warming up……..but anyway let’s move on and talk about everybody’s favorite holiday (well those who celebrate it) let’s talk about Christmas!!

Okay we all know Christmas is around the corner as I stated earlier and we also know that the holiday is celebrated intensively and brings excitement to people in a lot of different ways. Once we arrive into the cheerful and cold month, we all like to welcome it with open arms while bringing on the decorations, the festive music and of course most peoples favorites, Christmas gifts……….you know when you really think about, have you ever noticed that Christmas is the only holiday that really gets a lot of attention!? I mean think about it, no one gets all hyped up over Easter, Halloween (except for those who really love the holiday) and let’s not even talk about Thanksgiving, people practically almost, always skips over this holiday and the only time we remember it, is when it’s like a week or hey even a few days away.

We literally treat Thanksgiving as if it’s the ugly duckling of all holidays, the only difference is in the ugly duckling story, they learn to appreciate the duck and learn to love it the way it is……….we don’t really appreciate this holiday, which is kinda sad……..because it’s like we know it exist, but we just don’t really care much about it, take Halloween for example: it’s like the 3rd best holiday in my opinion, it comes around we get all excited (well I don’t, I don’t really like Halloween, sorry not sorry) 

We treat Halloween better then we treat Thanksgiving, once the scary holiday is over, we start bringing out the Christmas decorations, we put on the music and prepare for the gift, all before Thanksgiving even arrives………..it’s like walking into a place and you see everyone having a good time and then you show up excited to join, you say something to everyone, they turn around, give you a look and then go back to what they were doing and you’re just standing there awkwardly, with a not hurt smile and that’s what I like to imagine Thanksgiving feeling like every year. 

Moving on though, I know I went off track there, back to Christmas………so like I said we prepare for this holiday a lot earlier before it arrives and I get it, it’s one of those holidays that everyone looks forward to because there’s something about it that just makes you feel good, maybe it’s the Christmas music (totally the Christmas music) it could be the decorations (I mean who doesn’t love decorating, right!?) oooor it’s probably the gifts people look forward to (I don’t have anything for this one) whatever it is (could be the whole holiday) we know we really embrace the holiday season. Now when it come to December, we all get that question, that question that we can’t avoid even if we tried, you know the one………and if you don’t, it goes like this: “So…….what do you want for Christmas!?” yeah that one. 

I’m not saying everyone hates that question, i’m sure there’s a lot of people who once that question is asked, they’re already writing it down on a piece of paper or even before it’s asked their handing you an envelope of all the things that have caught their eye and I know what you’re probably thinking “Why would they have an envelope!?” you don’t know, maybe they’re secret agents of some sort or they just really love the holiday ha, no, but in all seriousness, sometimes that question isn’t easy to answer. I mean when we’re kids, we want everything that is displayed around us and don’t say that’s not true, because you know it is, it’s very true, kids love stuff.

However the older we get, we tend to have trouble really telling those around us what we want for Christmas when the question is asked to us…………i’ve been asked 3 times and more of course, what it is that I want for Christmas, since the beginning of November and when December arrived and the only answer i’m able to give is………”I don’t know.” Every time, well I should say every Christmas i’m asked that question, I never actually know what it is that I want and a lot of people will have a list of things that they saw and was like “I want that” me on the other hand, I don’t write down list of things I want, surprising right!? I write everything else down, just not that.

I don’t know, I always feel the older you get, the things that were once a huge thing, aren’t that huge as much and when it comes to the holidays, at least for me, it just isn’t the same, everyone does their own thing and no one likes spending time together, when it comes to the holidays, you would think that’s what it’s about and then you realize……it’s not, but i’m not trying to bring down anyone’s holiday spirit, you keep those spirits up as high as you can, because you deserve to be excited for it. 

I’m just expressing my thoughts on how it is from my side, but I know that everyone’s different, but anyway back to the whole What’s On Your Christmas List!? topic, I don’t have a lot of things on my Christmas list, whether that’s a mental list or an actual list……….I don’t know, maybe when it comes to me, there isn’t much physical things that I want, if that makes sense!? I mean when you’re younger again you want everything, that’s all because we’re kids and that’s how kids are, they want all the toys and things that interest them, but I haven’t been that way for a long while and maybe that’s just me, who knows………….but anyway, to bring the spirit back up on this post, you know how I talked when people ask you what you want for Christmas and sometimes it’s hard to answer!?

Yeah well, try reverting the question back to the person asking you what you want for Christmas, 9/10, 8/10, depending on the person, their not always gonna know either. If you’re lucky they’ll tell you what it is they want or they’ll either say the same thing saying they’re not sure, they’ll tell you they don’t want anything or you have those kind of people who won’t tell you what they want and when you bring it up, they pretend or act like you didn’t ask the question……….anyone else know these kind of people!? Let me know, I can’t be the only one here.

Overall, no matter how you see the holidays, it’s important to make the most of it and appreciate the things around you as well, as the people you spend your days with and enjoy it as much as you can too, because not everyone is able to celebrate these kind of holidays and if they do celebrate it, they don’t always have people to celebrate it with. You don’t need a lot to have a good holiday, the holidays are meant to be enjoyed and spent with people who mean a lot to you, whether you’re spending it with family, friends or whoever you want to spend it with, as long as you’re having a good time and you have good people around you then that’s all that matters. 

I hope with this post I don’t seem like the Grinch or anything, I know everyone’s different and i’m not saying that you can’t enjoy gifts, because who am I to say that!? The holidays can mean a lot of different things to people and if gifts are something that get you in the holiday spirit, then be happy, jump around and do a dance, no ones stopping you, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on it.

Even though I don’t know what I want for Christmas and I don’t know what to get other people for Christmas, let me know in the comments below what’s on your Christmas list, what the holidays mean to you and let me know how you get in the holiday spirit, i’d love to hear about it!! ^_^ 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Dream Journal: Concerts & Squelette (December 7, 2018)

Hey there everyone I hope you’re all well………….okay so this is another dream journal blog post, I wanted to share a dream I had last night with you guys because I found it to be very interesting, i’m just gonna go straight into it and tell you all the things that I remember about the dream……..okay here we go: 

Here’s what I remember: So i’m not sure how I got there exactly, but the setting was at a concert and I feel I was there with someone else, but i’m not sure who exactly…….I remember being outside like in one those halls where you enter before going to watch the  concert or something, you know like when you walk into a movie theater (Cinema) entrance, anyway so I was out in a hall somewhere I believe and I was looking at who was gonna be playing at the concert I was at. Now i’m not sure whether I was looking at this board in front of me because I was trying get tickets or if I was just curious on who else was gonna be playing!?

There were a lot of people that were listed to be playing in the dream, but there were only two acts I remember very vividly seeing and those two acts were, one of my favorite bands that I love talking about any chance I get, the band PVRIS  and also this other group that i’ve never heard of, they had a very interesting band name though……like if you were looking at it for the first time you wouldn’t quite know how to pronounce it, that’s how weird the name was and when I say weird it’s in a good way.

Again never heard of this band  before, but was kinda interested to see what they were about, also I forgot to say this part, but in the dream every person on the board list of who was playing, were all sold out including PVRIS……but it’s okay no worries, however the only band that wasn’t sold out, was the hard to pronounce band, now you’re probably wondering what’s the bands name right!? Don’t worry i’ll tell you, in the dream they went by the name Squelette, now I just want to let you know that I didn’t remember the whole name when I woke up from the dream, you should’ve seen me this morning trying to figure it out, I only remembered certain letters to the name, which were S Q U E which you can see there’s 3 E’s & 2 T’S, the L yeah……..didn’t stay in my mind, but I had the other ones down pretty nicely.  

I was inside the concert now and my favorite band PVRIS were there, only I think they had just finished their act and went on to introduce the next one which was the unknown band, I remember the lighting in the concert was like……..there was some pinks, or maybe purple and reds happening, something like that anyway…….I was in the crowd and there was a lot of people actually there, I wasn’t super up close, but I could see everything pretty alright in the dream…….After PVRIS introduced the band, I remember seeing this lady with black hair walking up the stage and as she was walking up a few more people who i’m guessing were  the other band members, walked up as well (Ending of Dream)

That was the last thing I remember, I never got to hear them play in the dream, I just saw them and then I woke up. Okay so here’s where it kinda gets both interesting and weird at the same time……..so after waking up, I was trying to figure out what that dream meant especially the name of the band, I went and looked up concert dreams and what they mean and then after looking that up, I tried to look for the name or word that I saw in my dream with the letters that I could remember and you won’t believe what came up!!

Hear this, so i’m looking up the name and I see a word that felt familiar to what was in my dream, so I clicked on it and as you already know because I said it earlier, that name/word was Squelette, I looked it up to see if it was a real thing and it was, I then found out Squelette is French for “Skeleton”…………interesting right!? Well here’s where it gets more interesting. Once I saw that it mean Skeleton and that it was a real word, I said to myself “Okay…….that’s weird” I then got curious and went to see if there was a band named Squelette just like in my dream………didn’t really expect to find anything at all, I was just looking out of curiosity, but I ended up finding something and that something was……..there is actually a band, that go by that name……..not kidding!!

Now in the dream I mentioned there was a lady with black hair, I couldn’t really see her because in the dream I wasn’t that close, I was like middle back row, but wasn’t too far at the same time. I’m not really sure if they had an instrument or not, but I went to see if there was a photo of the band and there was (there were also photo’s of skeletons too, but that’s not important) the first picture I saw was just 3 guys (actually I just looked back at it, not 3 guys, just 2) you want to know who the other person was though!? Yep you guessed it, A LADY. WITH BLACK. HAIR, just like in my dream………..saw another photo of that same band and yeah………THERE’S ACTUALLY A LADY WITH BLACK HAIR THAT’S IN THE BAND…………WHAT!!!? 

Now I know what you’re probably thinking, “that could’ve been any girl with black hair and it’s probably some random band” yeah you’d be right, but I don’t know………it just seems like too much of a coincidence, like it’s weird………I dream about a band with a weird name, I look up that name which turns out to be a real thing and is french for skeleton, then I check to see if there’s a band with that same name, turns out there is and there’s a lady in the band with black hair, just like in my dream………….HOW!? tell me how, because I don’t know, it’s just really weird.

Maybe it is just some random band, who knows……..it’s probably just me, but then again it doesn’t feel like that, it feels like something else, like I just dreamt of an actual band from a different country and place, but never heard of them before!? It felt real, but again maybe it’s just me.

Have you ever had a dream like this, where certain details in it, turn out to be an actual thing in real life!? I don’t know how else to word it, let me know in the comments below if you have though. 

All The Love ❤ ❤ 

~Lexa~

Photo by Abigail Lynn on Unsplash